Just before the Interlull Arsene Wenger said:

Traditionally November has not been a good month for us. But I explain that by the fact we had more injuries, it is the first period when they kick in.

Way to tempt fate, Arsene! I think he was probably referring to injuries that would occur through wear and tear. A calf strain here, a hamstring there, perhaps a little tweak of the groin along the way. As it is this Interlull has not only been tedious it has been costly. Firstly Robin van Persie nearly has his ankle kicked off and last night Kieran Gibbs was taken to hospital for X-rays on his foot.

Early reports are suggesting a broken metatarsal, which would be bad news indeed. When Robin van Persie picked up a similar injury in January 2007 he missed the rest of the season. The timing of Gibbs injury is particularly unfortunate as we're without Clichy due to his back problem. Again we'll have to wait for official confirmation but it does look as if we're going to have to do without him for a bit, which is a blow to us and a blow to the young man who was looking forward to taking his opportunity.

That said, left back is the position in which we probably have the most cover. There's still Armand Traore, who might well view this as just the chance he needs to stake his claim for a place, and while Sylvester certainly wouldn't provide the pace and dynamism of the other three left backs at the club he at least has the experience to be able to do the job if called upon.

As the man from East Lower puts together a crocks XI every Arsenal fan will be keeping everything crossed that those involved in games tonight come through unscathed. From my scant research those up for injury tonight are: Gallas, Sagna, Arshavin, Cesc and Vermaelen. Five extremely important players to whom any kind of injury would be, not only cruel, but downright vindictive and it would make me believe that Phil Collins is working some slapheaded voodoo on us. Cesc and Vermaelen are both playing in friendlies so let's hope those international managers don't run them into the ground. The others are playing WC Qualifiers. We'll be on tenterhooks till these games are finished.

Former Gunner and total dreamboat Robert Pires talks about our injuries, saying:

The injuries always seem to have damaged Arsenal in the last few seasons and now again this is the difficult time between November and December. Teams that suffer a lot of problems during these months often miss out on winning the league. You play a lot of games, it’s difficult and it tests the squad.

Curses. Doomed. But wait, Robert is confident we can cope, saying:

These two matches against Sunderland and Chelsea will be the key for the future of Arsenal in the Premier League and I believe Arsenal will give their answer on the pitch. But the young players will also have to step up and play a bigger part and they have the talent to do that.

Hurrah! If Robert says so then I believe him. He wouldn't lie to us. He highlights the importance of Cesc Fabregas who has once again confirmed his committment to the club despite every single Barcelona player marching up and down Passeig de Gracia holding placards saying 'Please sign for us!', 'DNA! A-OK!' and 'It's Cescy time!!!'. 

Meantime I miss Robert Pires like an amputee misses his foot. *sigh*

In other news Stan Kroenke's right hand man says Silent Stan is not so silent and is, in fact, a thoroughly nice chap. Which is pretty much what you would expect a right hand man to say, unless he was a duplicitous Iagoesque character. 

Emmanuel Eboue says he wants to be the next Eddie Murphy. Sweet holy sacred mother of the divine heart of the crucified Jesus. I think he means that he wants to be a comedic actor in Hollywood and not somebody who picks up giant transvestites just to give them a lift because he feels sorry for them and not because he wants to have dirty sex with them before he goes and knocks up one of the Spice Girls. I know this is part of the 'rebuild Eboue's image' project that has been ongoing via the official site but it just makes him look like a bit of a spa.

Bacary Sagna's agent says Juventus have been in contact with him but the player won't be leaving. Thanks for that Mr Agent whose name is Christoper Mongai. Hahaha. Mong.

And finally Arsene says that Samir Nasri won't be the man to replace Alex Song when he goes to the ACN. The boss reckons Denilson is more suited to the role and Nasri better further forward, which I tend to agree with. The problem is who will replace Denilson's replacement when the replacement for Denilson's replacement is injured by Denilson's replacement's replacement's replacement in a training ground tragedy? Forward planning is what we need here folks.

And finally, finally - For those of you at loose end tonight, co-author of 'Arsenal: Making a modern superclub', Alex Fynn, is giving a seminar entitled 'The Secret History of Arsenal Football Club' at 6pm. For more details check out the OnlineGooner.

And finally, finally, finally for today. How about some artwork to brighten up your home? I'm good at making friends and I've got some new ones called Modern Canvas Art. They have given me the following Dennis Bergkamp canvas to give to one of you lucky chaps or chapettes. 

It is 50cm x 70cm and would look awesome on your wall. To enter, simply answer the following question: 

From which club did Arsenal sign Dennis Bergkamp? Was it a) Ajax b) Juventus c) Inter Milan. Answers, as usual, to competition@arseblog.com and the winner will be announced on Friday. 

Right then, have at it.

So the club yesterday confirmed Robin van Persie's injury and the prognosis that he'd be out for around 6 weeks. Now that it's official we can all run around and panic, throwing our hands up in the air like sometimes we feel like doing. I know, I know.

What did emerge yesterday is that Robin is set to try a revolutionary new treatment, apparently with the blessing of the club, whereby he'll travel to Serbia to have his ankle massaged with placenta fluid. Seriously. He says:

I am going to receive treatment from a female doctor. She is vague about her methods but I know she first massages you for a long time with placenta fluid. I'm going to give it a try.

It can't do any harm and if it helps it helps. I have been in contact with Arsenal's chief physio about it. The club has allowed me to have this treatment done.

It does seem odd but like he says if it helps, it helps. I mean, if there was the possibility that smearing his foot with late term abortions while quaffing great big goblets of stem cells would help I'd be all for that too. Anyway, 6 weeks from today would see him return at the end of the December. Then we have to take into account is it 6 weeks before he can return to training or 6 weeks before he plays again? I suspect it'll be the new year before we see him.

The question now is what do we do without him. The obvious choice is Eduardo. Actually, at the moment he's pretty much the only choice. Bendtner has just had his goolies operated on, Theo Walcott is still out with whatever it is that's wrong with him this time and Carlos Vela ... well ... I'm not sure Carlos Vela is even with us. I suspect he may have been kidnapped by nasty banditos but with the club using all the money we have to prettify the stadium we haven't been able to pay the ransom.

After that it's youngsters like Watt and Sunu so Eduardo it is. Whether he can stay the pace and play the amount of games we're going to need him to play remains to be seen, but he's confident he can get his shooting boots back on and not his missing boots after the chances he spurned against Sp*rs. He says:

Against Tottenham I missed one big chance in particular, when I was one-on-one with the goalkeeper. Maybe I had too much time to think about what I had to do. Sometimes it is better when you have less time to think and can act instinctively. But I will not worry about that chance, I feel strong in my head and my body. It is good that I was in the position to have the chance because if you keep doing that, then the goals will come.

He got a couple at the weekend in a Croatian friendly against Lichtenstein, a notoriously difficult team to score against, and there's now an onus on him to perform for us. He's had the luxury, so to speak, of not being essential to the team, to come on from the bench without a great deal of pressure, but now we need him so fingers crossed he can do the business. Without Bendtner and van Persie (who is 6'1) we are bit on the teenchy side up front though. Eduardo, Arshavin and let's say one of Rosicky/Nasri aren't going to knock centre-halves on their arses, are they? I'm sure we're practising lots of running through people's legs in training.

Carles Puyol is the latest to do Barcelona's dirty work in tapping up Cesc, saying not only does he hope he joins but that Barcelona don't pay very much to sign him. Does he think there's a January sale or something? I know they've bought a few players off us in the past but Arsenal is not like some kind of coffee shop. You don't get one free on your fucking loyalty card. Twats.

Arsene Wenger says Patrick Vieira needs to leave Inter Milan to get into the French squad but pretty much ruled out him moving back to Arsenal. He said:

If I had to bet, I would put my money on another country. It's complicated for him to come back to this country.

I wouldn't bet against Arsene Wenger, no sir. And while we definitely need somebody to step in and do the job Alex Song has been doing when he goes away to the ACN you do have to wonder whether Paddy would have the legs for the Premier League anymore.

Beyond that not much else happening. Tomorrow sees the final round of WC qualifiers plus another group of meaningless friendlies. Get your lucky socks on and hope for the best. There'll also be an arty kind of competition tomorrow too, more details then.

Have a good one.

Happy Monday to you from a very wild and rainy Dublin.

Still lots of misinformation abounding regarding Robin van Persie's injury. This morning's Sun says he could miss the 'entire season' and says Arsene is 'gutted' but the news from the player himself isn't so bad. The Dutch FA have confirmed that there's a 'partial rupture' of his ankle ligaments but there's no requirement for surgery, which is a good thing.

As for how long he's going to be out, Robin says:

The prognosis is that I will be out for four to six weeks.

Which is good news, I suppose, but I think I'd like to hear what our medical staff have to say before I get too enthused. Anyone who has done their ankle playing football knows that it can be a difficult injury to heal properly. If we take 6 weeks as the period out then we may have him back for the Christmas rush. In the meantime we'll have to cope and thankfully the fixtures aren't anywhere as testing as they might be.

Chelsea at the end of this month and then Liverpool in mid-December are the two biggest games. The rest are fixtures that you feel we should be able to cope with his absence. And let's remember that one of the real positives about this team this season is that we're not reliant on one man for goals. They've come from all over the pitch, I think we have something like 16 different goalscorers already, so while it's a bit of a setback and obviously his contribution in recent weeks has been outstanding, it's not the hammer blow some would make it out to be. I expect some kind of official update from the club today, let's see.

What is amusing, relatively speaking, is the invention of the press. As soon as van Persie got injured we started seeing stories regarding Marouane Chamakh arriving in January. Honestly, this is some of the laziest shit I've ever seen. Are we really supposed to believe that they have a direct line to Arsene's head? Because as sure as eggs are eggs the boss hasn't spoken to anyone about bringing in Chamakh. That information, which doesn't exist in the first place, hasn't leaked anywhere. They could replace the word 'Chamakh' with 9-ton hippo/giraffe hybrid, the Gippo, and it would be as accurate as the shite they're peddling. Idiots.

Although the idea of Cesc providing killer passes for a Gippo, who would undoubtedly be very good in the air, is quite appealing. 

In other news Kieran Gibbs has been talking about making sure he takes his chances this season. With Gael Clichy out injured for a while he's got a real opportunity and while he's not thinking about the World Cup former Gunner Ray Parlour reckons he's got a real chance of making England's squad. Maybe it's just me but I think the longer he stays out of the England set-up the better. Think about it, do we really want him hanging around 'JT' (barf) and 'Lamps', Wonky-mouth and 'Cuntley', sorry, I mean Cuntley? 

What will he learn from them apart from how to park in handicapped spaces, how to enjoy a shoplifted dinner after a few lines of gack, wideboy nightclub bollocks such as pissing into people's pints, road swerving and general cuntsrousness? For his own sake I think he should declare for a nation which has no footballing ability whatsoever. Like Ireland. Kieran is kind of an Irish name. At least if Ireland's senior players tried to influence him he could just say 'Look Robbie, you fucking mallet-headed, Desperate Dan looking twat, there's more to football than sitting on your arse bleating at the ref to give you a free kick when you haven't even been fouled, just tackled, you pox-bottle piece of useless shite'.

I suppose if he plays well for Arsenal we'll just have to cope with the consequences of him being called up to play international games, and you can't blame Capello for looking at him when his other left back option is Wayne Bridge, who is to defending what Karen Carpenter was to overeating. 

The praise for Aaron Ramsey after his display at the weekend continues with one of his Welsh teammates comparing him to Cesc, which is good stuff indeed. One Cesc is a thing of wonder, two of them would be almost like cheating. Let's hope his progression continues at this kind of pace. 

And that'll have to do. Just a few days of the Interlull to go, then we can back to real football. Hopefully some competitions to come this week to pass the time, so keep your eyes peeled. 

More tomorrow.

Well, it had to happen, didn't it? The Interlull had been so dull and tedious the only thing that could spark a bit of life into it was an injury to one of our players. It certainly wasn't going to be the football as anyone who sat through the Sunday park football shitstravaganza that was Ireland v France last night will tell you.

Anyway, as that game was plodding on reports began to emerge of an injury to Robin van Persie not long into Holland's game against Italy. Within a couple of hours there were all kinds of rumours. He'd broken his ankle, he'd ruptured his ankle ligaments and he'd be out from 2-3 months to the rest of the season. Or forever. As his leg had fallen off. The Dutch coach said:

The first diagnosis is that Robin has a bad ankle injury. The seriousness of it we won’t know until we have the full X-rays in hospital.

Basically though we don't know anything yet. The video footage of the injury is here. While some might choose to blame Chiellini, I don't think that's fair. The defender made a tackle, as he was perfectly entitled to do, van Persie just got unlucky. Making him some kind of pantomime villain is pointless. What is clear though is that van Persie was in a lot of pain and it does look like the kind of injury that might keep him out for a while.

However, until there's some official confirmation from the club about the extent of the problem I'm not going to get involved in speculation and rumour. Let's step back from the cliff face and see what happens. And look, an injury to an important player was inevitable. It happens to every team and if you had to put any money on it happening to one of our players you'd get short odds on it being Robin.

It's a big shame because he's playing so well at the moment and with Bendtner out of action as well the most obvious replacement is there right now. Nonetheless we're going to just have to grit our teeth and get on with it. We won't win any games by feeling sorry for ourselves - and while it's doubly frustrating that this injury happened in a meaningless international game, and I'm sure Arsene will have something to say about that, we've got a big enough squad and it's time for them to step up and show they're up to the task. Over to you Eduardo and, if he still exists, Carlos Vela. Theo's not far away either.

Some of the newspaper hype is quite ridiculous though. If you believed some of them Arsenal now have no chance of winning anything this season because of van Persie's injury. As if all our hopes rested on one man. Yes, it's a blow, and yes we've spoken about how important it is that our big players stay fit, but should we throw in the towel because of one injury? My bollocks. As I said, they happen to us, to every team, and the show must go on. Fingers crossed it's not as a bad as we fear it is but until we get official confirmation let's not lose the run of ourselves.

Thankfully there are no reports of any injuries to anyone else and there was much talk yesterday of Aaron Ramsey's performance for Wales against Scotland. I didn't see any of it, nor can I find any footage, but the young man was outstanding by all accounts, which is, at the end of the day, good news for us.

Update: Video thanks 101greatgoals.

Rounding up the rest of the Sunday's guff, Patrick Vieira talks about Abou Diaby in the Sunday Mirror, the News of the World links us with a Brazilian called Maicosuel and links our Crozilian with a £10m move to Liverpool (you don't need me to tell you both these stories are most likely complete fiction, do you?) while Thomas Vermaelen tells The Mirror he can do better - maybe we can play him up front in van Persie's absence. 

Tribal Football carries quotes from Philippe Senderos, probably from the Swiss press, who says he might leave the club when the transfer window opens. You couldn't blame him, in fairness, his move to Everton was scuppered by Djourou's injury but playing back-up all season is no fun for any player. Still, if he is to leave then a replacement would have to be found.

Beyond that not a lot going on. Time for bacon and eggs, the Sunday papers and some serious hoping re: RVP.

Laters.

Some people are just stupid. Born that way. There is literally nothing they can do about it.

Most of these stupid people you encounter in day to day business. The stupid girl behind the cash register of some shop who can't work out the change even though the till tells her exactly what to give you back. The stupid man who blocks you off in traffic then looks at you like you're the cunt when you sarcastically applaud him. The bloke from the electric company who comes to the house you've just bought in Spain, the one you're waiting to move into, and who assures you the job has been done but when you get to the house you find there is no electricity and a bit of investigation reveals that he turned on the electricity for an unoccupied house four doors away and when you go and tell them this they look at you and go 'meh' because you're just a foreigner with fuck all Spanish but you're not the one who was supposed to put the lights at number 30 and went to 34 instead. Even with your rudimentary Spanish you knew the fucking numbers.

Those kind of stupid people you get used to dealing with. Then there are other stupid people. They are stupid but think they're smart. And even though they do possess a modicum of intelligence the more they open their mouths the more stupid you realise they are. 

These kind of people if they were electrocuted every time they went to take a bite of a delicious treat would never learn that eating the treat equals pain. And sadly many of these kind of stupid people find themselves in positions of relative power. I mean, how many stupid politicians are there? Whatever country you're in you know of one or two or twenty or all of them. Dan Quayle, for example, was vice president of the US. Honestly, just a stupid cunt. Not a few short weeks ago Ireland's deputy Prime Minister, Mary Coughlan, was speaking at the launch of some thing or other and said that the marketing of it would be like 'like Einstein explaining his theory of evolution'. Give me strength. 

Morons, everywhere you go, there are morons, idiots, dolts and numbskulls. They would make you despair if it wasn't such a big job to get off one's throne of intellectual superiority. As it is most of us just say 'Oh, that person is so stupid. Give me more beer'. It's the best way to get through because you can't change them. Be a politician? No thank you. Then you would have to actually listen to them and deal with them at close quarters and then it'd be mass-murder time. And I'm not stupid enough to spend the rest of my life in jail for killing stupid people, even if they do deserve to be shot repeatedly in the face.

Another man who is one of these stupid powerful people, relatively speaking of course, is Joan Laporta. He's a lawyer, you know, although from my limited experience of the legal profession in Spain it seems a lawyer's only function is to facilitate the passing of cash for house purchases. Honestly, the two transactions I was involved in both required an under-the-table cash payment to the developer and to the lawyer before some underling photocopied some deed-like documents to sign with Pablo Solicitoria counted his wad. 

Laporta is also the President of FC Barcelona and over the years he has irritated me greatly, because he is stupid. He thinks he's being all crafty and clever but he's not. His latest 'I am so smart, s.m.r.t' business revolves around Cesc Fabregas. Having programmed Robot Xavi to talk about Cesc's Barcelona DNA every time there's a microphone within 6 feet of him he sees Cesc as a vanity project. His term as President of Barcelona is up next summer, the rules say he cannot be re-elected, but he wants to give them something to remember him by as a leaving present. That present is Cesc when the present I would most like him to give them is his own head which he hacked off with a rusty axe.

Once again he's been in the papers, moving his little campaign along, and he said:

He was formed at Barca, he has our style of play and the majority of 'cules' 'cunts' like him. We must respect Arsenal and cannot comment though. The market is not open and these matters are decided by the technical director [Txiki Begiristain], and so we are not thinking about it at the moment.

Ok, now here's where Laporta proves himself to be as stupid as a Spanish electrician. Firstly he says they must respect Arsenal and not comment. He does that by commenting. Clever indeed. Then he says they are not thinking about it at the moment but in order to vocalise what it is he's not thinking about he has to think about it, otherwise he'd be saying different words entirely. 

The only way you can not comment is to not comment. You can't comment and then say you can't comment. That's commenting, you fucking hapless, brain-dead imbecile. You can't get your journo chums in Sport and El Mundo to write big pieces about how Cesc has signed a pre-contract agreement with Barcelona and may even leave in January and then tell people you're not thinking about it at the moment because clearly you are. He is the kind of man who, if caught in the act of murdering somebody, blood on his hands, victim's final words 'He did it', would say 'I didn't do it'.

Honestly, he's a smarmy prick of the highest order. That smug grin on his face whenever you see him sitting in the directors box of some small Spanish team when Barcelona have stuck a few goals past them and it's enough to make you go there and take a hammer to his teeth. In fact, I am going there in a few weeks, and I know a good hardware store. 

I understand how football works and transfers and this is very much the Spanish way. That doesn't mean it's the right way though or that we should sit back and accept it. Nor should we really accept stupid people who I think should all be rounded up and sent to an island somewhere. To escape you put them in a room full of shovels and tell them to take their pick. That'd keep them busy for decades. Laporta and Mary Coughlan can go first, although stupid people tend to breed faster than normal people so perhaps we should sterilise them all first. Or just drop them into a fucking volcano. The cunts. The idea of a little Joan Coughlan or a Mary Laporta fills me with real dread. 

I can cope with lots of stuff, irritating noises (apart from the noise of people eating chewing gum which is so trying it should be legal to solder that person's mouth shut), Irish weather, not having my own island paradise, even David Gray because there is such a thing as an off-button, but stupid people I just cannot. I hate them. And I fucking hate Joan Laporta.

Now I need breakfast and you can't stop me.

Well it's all action round Arsenal way this morning and we prepare for tomorrow's match against Melchester Rovers.

With Roy Race in such good form it's sure to be quite the battle and since they were taken over by USA Soccerball Corp Inc®© they've become a force to be reckoned with. Not only have they got the best players in the world from this era, new technology has allowed them to clone the best players from times gone by. 

Roy Race and Pele up front will sure be a handful for Vermaelen and Gallas while their midfield of Cruyff, Socrates, Didier Six and David Hillier will cause us real problems unless we take real care. I think if we can get through the first two quarters we'll probably take them, you know how these clones roll. All tricks and flicks as they have that classic DNA sparkling but we know they suffer from problems with stamina. Arsene Wenger is looking forward to the game, saying:

Jesus fucking Christ, Arseblogger, wake up. This is just a dream. There's no football tomorrow at all. You've got Interlull cabin fever. Hahaha.

Noooooooooooooooooo. Stupid waking dreams. You know it's the dullest Interlull ever when the official Arsenal website is running a story with Liam Brady and a headline 'Brady - France have more pressure than us'. Now, I know Chippy is involved in the Irish set-up. He's one of Trappatoni's assistants but I just find it a little distasteful that he refers to 'us' when us includes Robbie Keane. He's not an 'us', Liamo, he's very much a 'them', even if he is wearing a green shirt.

And while there's a whole load of hype and build-up to this game it'll be a bit weird watching it. France have Arsenal players, Ireland do not have Arsenal players. Ireland have Robbie Keane, although France do have Patrice Evra which has just about swung the balance back in Ireland's favour. The other thing, of course, is Ireland's style of play. It's not exactly beautiful, flowing football. Watching Ireland play football is about as much fun as being Carlo Cudicini's pillion passenger.

Still, I'm sure I'll watch it. Just to get a bit of a football fix. Very little Arsenal news around as you'll have gathered by now. The Mail reports that Arsenal's players will give up a day's wages and match bonuses and what have you when we play Chelsea at the end of the month. It's all in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital which is the club's official charity. You've probably seen the pictures floating about of some of the lads dressed in giant furry animal suits. Here's Cesc doing his My Little Pony impression to the amusement of Andrei Sharkshavin in the minivan.

In the Mirror there's a story about young striker Gilles Sunu who wants to go on loan but Arsene Wenger is refusing to allow him to do so until he signs a new contract with the club. I'm struggling to decide if I care enough about this story to comment in any way and after a few moments I've decided that I'm not. Which is a shame because I've got column inches to fill but ... meh.

Ok, scarf competition time. The other day I asked you to choose the odd one out between John Terry's dad, Phil Brown's son and my next door neighbour's beagle. Thank you all for the answers, many of them were quite hilarious indeed and I never knew such a range of 'Son of a bitch' jokes were possible. However, it's time for the answer.

And the odd one out was - my next door neighbour's beagle. This is because if you were to set up a concession stand which had every kind of soft drink in the world and you told these three candidates they could have whatever they wanted for free, the beagle would choose a can of delicious Lilt, with it's totally tropical taste, while the other two would go straight for the Coke.

The RNG did its thing and the winner is : Matthew Martin. Well done to you, I'll be in touch, and thanks once again to Savile Rogue for the prize. And if you didn't win, don't worry too much about your cold neck. Savile Rogue are thinking of you and have given me more 100% cashmere Arsenal scarves to give away in the coming weeks. 

Right, that's that. I can't do no more. Till tomorrow.

Sometimes I have Arsenal related dreams. Last night Ray Parlour was working in my local area as a mobile fish and chip shop man. He had a kind of caravan thing which he motored with a tricycle contraption of some sort, and this contraption also heated up the oil for him to fry the fish and the chips. But if he didn't get the oil to the right temperature then the fish came back to life and they had baseball bats which somehow they were able to hold despite only having flippers.

Ray seemed quite happy with his lot but it was a strange world, as if everybody had lost all their money and nobody could afford to buy his wares. The last I saw of him was when he turned a corner, rubbish strewn about the streets, and he was whistling a tune I can't quite remember.

Odd, I know, but a timely dream as there really is fuck all going this morning. The Interlull has choked the life out of everything and here we are, bereft, football-less, bored and doleful, like a basset hound that has just been told there will be no more cheese ... ever. If you thought they looked sad before ...

There's a little bit about Robin van Persie saying he's not a killer striker like Drogba or Torres, but more of a half-killer, half-not killer thing. He says he's as proud of his assists as he is his goals, which is fair enough I suppose. I just don't get the whole 'Drogba as a killer' thing. Imagine if he was some kind of stealthy assassin. I suppose he'd be quite good as long as he could do it from a distance, what with him being a sly, sneaky cunt, and that. But not every job goes perfectly, believe me, and if he had to engage in hand to hand combat with one of his potential victims then things would be very different. The moment his opponent even looked at him funny Drogba would lying on the ground twitching like Harry Redknapp after touching a live wire. At that point then he would be like an upside down turtle, completely vulnerable to attack, and his career as an assassin would come to a bloody and evisceratingly painful end. 

We're also being linked to Yaya Toure again. I really think there ought to be some regulation here. It's so indiscriminate. I might just lobby UEFA to prevent this happening year round, confining it to a specific time-frame. A story might appear in the paper and we might say 'Yup, it's Yaya Toure season again. Man, only seems like a few weeks since the last one', in a kind of 'Shit, it's nearly Christmas again?' way.

Toure Jr is unhappy at Barcelona this season as they gave him a big new contract in the summer and then treated him a bit like Hleb. Not that I care but his agent is going on and on about it and the minute he starts the stories appear about him joining Arsenal. In the past that seemed like a reasonable assumption to make, what with his big brother playing for us, but now that his big brother is in the Middle Eastlands can all tabloid journos please refrain from saying he's coming to us and choose Man City instead? It'd make everyone's life much easier when he signs for someone else altogether.

Transfer speculation? The Sun links us with teenage Barcelona winger .... zzzz ... Gai Assulin. I'm sure if he did sign the Gai Ass shirts would be flying out of the Armoury. And speaking of Barcelona Xavi's been at the whole 'Cesc has Barcelona DNA' stuff again. I'm beginning to wonder if he's not a robot stuck on repeat. Maybe somebody should hit him in the head really hard to see.

Jack Wilshere is looking for a return to action in the Carling Cup game against Man City and he's confident Arsenal can go all the way to Wembley. There'll be plenty to say about that game in the weeks to come. No doubt Pubic Enemy No 1 will play and I want to save my bacon a bit in that regard.

Apart from that there's little else to discuss. You have until tonight to enter the competition to win the Savile Rogue scarf with thanks to Savile Rogue, the makers of Savile Rogue scarves. See yesterday's blog for the competition question. In the mailing list yesterday they got a typo which referred to my 'next dour neighbour', which is a bit unfair on him. He's not the most exciting man in the world but he made a joke about a frying pan when I bumped into him in Aldi one day.

He's not the most exciting neighbour I ever had though. That was a bloke from Zaragoza called Geronimo. Seriously. He lived a couple of doors up from us in Spain. Honestly, that poor bloke's life was like a soap opera. And he was only 5'2 and his name was Geronimo. 'Geronimooooooooo', I used to call and he would say 'Hola!'. He didn't get it. I still did it though. I'm nothing if not predictable.

Till tomorrow, curtain twitchers.

I hate the cold. Have I ever mentioned that? I think I might have. It's cold this morning. The worst part though is that it's not even really that cold and when it starts to get colder and colder I'm going to like it even less. I've been campaigning for a Blogs Family move to Equatorsville where it's warm all the time but as Mrs Blogs rightly points out they have their own problems there, what with monsters, political upheaval and monsters. And they have monsters.

However, for those of you feeling the cold fear not. There's something a bit later on in this blog for you. As we're right into the Interlull now the news is drying up. The club have confirmed that newly crowned Danish Player of the Year, Nicklas Bendtner, has had his hoo-ha operated on and will be out for about three to four weeks. Initial reports suggested he'd be gone until the new year so that's some good news. How much we miss him remains to be seen.

We have lots of little mobile nippy guys but not too many mobile lummoxes and what Bendtner gives us in terms of physicality and workrate makes up for what other players don't. Still, with most of November written off because of the internationals hopefully we can cope. You do wonder though with Theo permanently injured and Carlos Vela desaparecido if the manager regrets his decision not to sign Shakatak in the summer.

Speaking of players being out injured Arsene blames November. He says:

Traditionally November has not been a good month for us. But I explain that by the fact we had more injuries, it is the first period when they kick in.

I'm not sure I understand. Do our players bodies go "It's November! Time to twang that hamstring"? What happens at the training ground?

"Good morning, Tomas! How are you today?"

"I am fine boss. Feeling great. Ship shape. Top of the world. Eager beaver. Ready as I'll ever be".

"It's November 1st today you know".

"Really ... ooops ... my knee just fell off!"

"Oh November, when will you ever learn? Hahaha".

"Hahaha indeed. There goes my spinal cord!"

Maybe we've just been unlucky or maybe one November years ago Arsene did something that was really, really bad luck and it has cursed him ever since. They used to say that if you ran around Serge Gainsbourg three times backwards saying the Hail Mary it would break any curse you had on you. Sadly, with his passing, that is no longer possible. I'm told Arsene tried it with Serge Blanco one day but it did nothing but make him a bit dizzy and need to sit down with a stiff Pernod.

Kieran Gibbs talks about the World Cup and his chances of going while Eduardo talks about the World Cup and why Croatia aren't going. Eduardo also talks a a bit about Arsenal too.

Did you ever wonder what might happen if you had a brilliant footballer who was cripplingly shy and who hated the idea of being on television? Could he play in a mask of some kind, like Zorro? Or maybe the club would have to employ a special effects person to make him up in a range of different and hilarious latex disguises - like in that Eddie Murphy film where he appears as an old Jewish guy and the only way you know it's Eddie Murphy is because he's about as funny as watching your new puppy being raped by a Gorgon wearing a Sp*rs shirt. I should probably wonder about other stuff, really.

Right then, for those of you feeling the cold the best way to not feel the cold is to put a scarf on. "Wear something around your neck", I always remember my father shouting at me as I went out the door. Apparently not covering ones neck in cold weather increases the possibility of all kinds of illnesses such as distemper and tonsilitis. 

But I would not have you put on any old scarf, no sir/madam/transgendered person. I would have you put on a 100% cashmere Savile Rogue scarf, only the finest scarf known to humanity. To win it, simply answer the following question:

Name the odd one out : a) John Terry's Dad b) Phil Brown's son c) My next door neighbour's beagle

Answers to: competition@arseblog.com, winners announced on Friday. 

Thanks to my good chums at Savile Rogue. Right, that'll have to do, till tomorrow.

A full list of those players affected by the Interlull was posted yesterday on the official site. While we have to accept that the French players and Arshavin have two games due to their play-off duties, it's a bit disappointing to see that Cesc could potentially play for Spain and Robin van Persie twice for Holland in meaningless friendlies.

Still, there are enough players staying at home to make the Interlull reasonably interesting from Arsene Wenger's point of view. Normally he's left with Almunia, Denilson and the spirit of Nelson Vivas so that'll make a nice change for him.

He can spend some time reflecting on the comments made by Man United's Darren Fletcher who feels that our manager's criticism of an un-named United player was responsible for their loss to Chelsea at the weekend. Fletcher said:

I think we are now seeing Mr Wenger’s comments starting to influence referees, which is a shame.

So it's only ok when his manager's comments influence referees? And here's what Fletcher needs to realise. Firstly Wenger's comments had no bearing whatsoever on the ref on Sunday giving a free kick against him. It's mostly to do with the fact that Fletcher blunderbusses around a football pitch fouling as many people as he can while mysteriously being immune to yellow cards (unless, hilariously, they are for being blatantly fouled himself only for the ref to think he was diving).

Secondly, how can he possibly expect the referee not to give a free kick when he looks like a smackhead from Trainspotting who would rob his own granny for a fix? The ref is standing there, trying to make a split-second decision. 'Did Fletcher kick that player illegally?', and he looks at him and thinks 'He looks like he'd suck off tramps under a bridge to get enough money to shoot up that sweet, sweet horse. Of course he kicked him'. 

So for Fletcher to blame Arsene Wenger is not only ludicrous, it's ignoring the real problem ... himself. I mean, it's not like he has to look like George Clooney. He can be peculiar looking but not sinister. He needs to go to a plastic surgeon, pay for a Bullardplasty and then, perhaps, referees might not treat him like a bloke with pus-filled sores between his toes who has a kitten with AIDS. Just saying.

Moving on and it appears that Nicklas Bendtner needs an operation on his dodgy groin. How this affects his absence in terms of time out remains to be seen but with modern techniques surgery isn't as nasty an option as it used to be. They no longer have to slice you open with a rusty steak knife then stitch you back together with catgut. It's all keyhole stuff and Bendtner will be hoping, given the region the surgery is in, that the keyhole is the only hole affected.

Cesc says the captaincy hasn't changed him and says that the spirit in the dressing room is really great and nobody even thinks about the Gallas incident when one fateful day he made them turn off the communal Wii during a game of Mario Kart to give a teamtalk that nobody could understand. This vexed them very much because Cesc and Gael Clichy were playing online and everyone knows you never interrupt an online game. 

Now Gallas sits alone on the bus reading Kurt Wallander novels translated from Swedish into French but without losing any of their Swedish charm, looking up now and again at his young and boistrous teammates and chuckling softly to himself as he realises that Wallander is a far grumpier grump than he could ever be - and who could blame him living in a land as cold as that?

It's funny how literature can give one a different and invaluable perspective. 

For those asking if the blatant dive from N'Gog last night to salvage a point for the Mugsmashers was going to get the same coverage as Eduardo's against Celtic it does appear as if he's been branded a cheat in pretty much every newspaper this morning. Which is fair enough because it was a blatant dive. I'll stop short of campaigning for his execution and subsequent deportation though.

Not much else going on so that'll have to do.  Till tomorrow.

So yesterday's epic battle complete and utter snoozefest between Chelsea and United saw the home side win through a goal that shouldn't have been allowed. It also saw Didier Drogba take his acting to a new level. I have to admit I've never seen the 'shot between the eyes resulting in some post-mortem leg twitching' one before. All credit to him for that, the hideous Predator® looking cunt.

It looked as if it was John Terry who got the goal for Chelsea and as the ball crossed the line he celebrated the ball crossing the line because he knew the game was a wrap and when you score a goal like that it's not to be sniffed at. Reminded me a bit of Charlie. Charlie Chaplin, the way he celebrated. I believe he went out last night and had a few drinks in London's hottest new Colombian nightspot - EscoBar.

The point is that we remain in second place, five points behind Terry's men but with a game in hand. We can only hope they blow the lead and it'd be a big deal if they did. Fingers crossed, nostrils closed for that one.

Lots of the papers this morning talking about us scoring 100 goals in the league and being the first team to do so since some no-marks back in the 60s. They also ignore the fact that no-mark FC had 42 games to score their goals in and not the 38 now. We'd be wise to ignore this kind of crap, there's a bit of hype starting already and frankly I think I prefer it when they don't expect much of us.

Cesc, who must have taken an Open University course in 'How to keep your feet on the ground', says:

There will be a time when we cannot score goals and everyone will say we are crazy. We have to be ready because one day it will not happen like that. It is in that moment where we have to be strong.

Exactly right. It'll only take a couple of results where we don't have a 5-a-side score before someone starts saying we're brittle, we lack quality, the start of the season was a fluke, we're no good at Lego, our singing voices are shrill and reedy and we are poor cooks whose pasta sauces lack imagination. We shouldn't fall for the hype when it's positive, nor should we let the inevitable barrage of criticism worry us too much either. 

Cesc goes on to talk about his own form. You'd think he'd be kinda pleased, what with playing really well and scoring lots of goals but if the Open University course in 'How to keep your feet on the ground' has taught him one thing it's how to keep his feet on the ground. He says:

Because I am scoring it looks like I am playing better, but I don't look at it like this. Maybe in other years I was getting in the same position but I wasn't scoring. I don't think I was at my best against Wolves but because I scored a goal it looks different. I know how to measure my performance and what I have to improve on.

Improve, you say? Yes please. I'll have a bit of that. 9 goals and 11 assists already this season. If he can do better then I'm all for it. Not that I'm unhappy with his contribution to date, you understand. I'm just greedy. Perhaps I need to go to the Open University. Or, at least, sit in front of the BBC2 at 1.30am with a notepad and a pencil. Do they still have it on BBC2? Anyway, the point is Cesc is awesome and he wants to be even awesomer and I shall not, nay, will not, argue against that.

Of course now we're into yet another Interlull. FIFA really ought to decide who goes to the World Cup with a Boggle championships or a Monopoly tournament over one night. It'd save us all from the tedium of an Interlull. And not content with making some teams engage in their WC play-off matches they have sanctioned a shit-load of friendlies. So not only do we have to worry about the players taking part in the play-offs, we have to worry about all the rest of them too.

If I ever became Supreme Dictator of the Whole Entire Cosmos Apart from The Faroe Islands Because What Would I Want With Them Anyway, I would have just one Interlull, the same duration as now, in which all matches had to be played. The entire qualification in one 14 day period. And you could only choose a player once, so if he played in the first match then he returned to his club for lazing about and being fanned with giant palm leaves. It'd make international football more interesting though, wouldn't it? 

At this stage Ireland v France on Saturday would be Anto Murphy from Ballycock Rovers v Jean-Claude Testicule from Paris Saint SingeChèvre. Now that's what I call entertainment.

Still, we'll just have to be strong and try to muddle through as best we can. Here we go again. Till tomorrow.