First of all, I must apologise to the Ole Ole Auditor, who text messaged me last night to ask if I was all set to write the blog today. My initial reply was "who the fuck is this?" since my phone didn't recognise the number. I knew it wasn't Arseblogger, since I know his number. So said text messager replied to me and said he was the Ole Ole Auditor, and I decided that was licence to send back a rather rude message. I may even have mentioned his mum (I'm not sure. I've deleted all the text messages since; I find myself increasingly doing that of an evening). Anyway, he phoned me, I hadn't a fucking clue who it was cos I was so blind drunk, and I had to text Arseblogger to find out. Anyway, long and boring story short, I now know who it was, and I apologise. That's what happens when you talk to a drunk cunt.

Secondly, being madder at work than a badger on LSD that's just been taken to the circus and pumped full of mescaline, I haven't had time to frequent the forums recently, and I had no idea that Arseblogger was going to London today (until earlier in the week when he asked me to write the blog - right enough, with the benefit of hindsight that should've been a clue). So when he texted me last night to say it was only his fucking birthday today, I felt like a right cunt. Even more so. So I'm sure you'll join me in wishing Arseblogger many happy returns on his 43rd birthday. There's no doubting, he looks good for his age. I'm glad he's chosen one of the game of the season nail-biters for his trip. Fingers crossed for an 83-0

So, enough of the frivolity. What's happening in the world of Arsenal today?

Firstly the bad news. Tomas Rosicky has no fixed date of return, leaving the manager speechless. I'm not sure that's too much of a problem, frankly, since barely anyone can know who he is anyway. I don't know what we do about him. Not a lot, I suppose - it's not like we can sell him, and having signed a contract, (quite rightly) he's going to carry on trying to get fit. He doesn't strike me as the sort that would drag an injury out because he's a lazy cunt that just wants to sit and earn his tens of thousands of pounds a week for doing fuck all (unlike, say, me, perhaps), and he's a talented player. It's very frustrating.

Worryingly, Samir Nasri also remains sidelined by a knee injury, and joins Rosicky, Diaby, and Eduardo as the only other injured members of the squad. Nasri, as you know, picked up his knee injury on international duty. I fucking hate international duty. I hate it more than I hate being poked in the eye with a fucking hot poker. And I fucking hate that.

In better news (sort of), Silvester is fit and ready for his first game of the season. When Gallas joined us, he'd been agitating for a move, and I think it's fairly common knowledge that we'd been after him for a while. But Silvester is a cunt. A proper cunt. A right cunt. He played for *those* cunts right at the time when we were having our most intense rivalries with them, and he was a fairly significant part of their team (who are cunts). I think to get himself out of My Book of Cunts (of which I have two - he's in the bad one), he's going to have to do something very special. Like kill Gary Neville.

What else is going on? Gael Clichy feared the worst when that fat Bolton cunt tried to break his leg (I don't know why the Chester Chronicle gets the credit for those quotes; it just seemed one of the more obscure reports on News Now!). Some people, including Craig Burley, commenting on Setanta, thought that challenge was fair "because he got the ball". I didn't. I think that "if you take the man after the ball that's just the game" is a big load of old hairy bollocks. That way do very, very serious injuries lie, as we're all too familiar with, and I don't blame the team one little bit for the way they reacted on the pitch. They've seen it happen - horrifically - to one of their mates and unsurprisingly, they're not keen to see it happen again. People can bitch about Cesc waving imaginary yellow cards all they like, and I don't like to see that either, but the fact is that Clichy could've been seriously injured, because of some fat no mark Bolton cunt being "committed". Fuck off. I really do fucking hate Bolton (not as much as I used to, mind). And yes, I'm probably overprotective and hypocritical. So?

Top man Cesc Fabregas has been talking about how he'll never leave Arsenal. He seems to qualify the statement slightly by saying that he will only stay as long we keep playing our football, but it's so refreshing to hear a footballer who isn't *just* interested in the money (and regardless, I'm sure he's very well paid indeed). Also, I've no doubt The Sun has spun those "quotes".

So, Hull today at home. It's on TV at half five on Setanta 1 (so no doubt we'll have to put up with that cunt Burley again). George Boateng has been talking up Hull's chances, and there's no doubt that they've made a great start to their season. Let's hope we can bring them crashing back down to earth today and take the three points.

Once again, many happy returns to Arseblogger, and I'll see you all tomorrow for post match ramblings and other nonsense.

Come on The Arsenal!!

Good morning from a grey miserable Dublin. The rain is teeming down and it looks like it's going to do that all day long.

So I'm loathe to start the day with anything negative. Instead let's rejoice and sing songs at the news that Gael Clichy has signed a new long term contract with the club. Good news and let's hope the young man can keep going after a fantastic season last time around. He really was the model of consistency and energy, his defending has improved considerably and if he can now add a bit more of an attacking threat to his game he's gonna be awesome.

Right, so from positive to tedious negative. The rumours about Adebayor abound. This morning's El Mundo says Marc Ingla flew to London on a 'lightning' visit to discuss both Adebayor and Hleb. They claim that Milan have a copy of a letter signed by Adebayor telling Arsenal that he wants to leave. A transfer request in which he asks to be able to speak to big clubs in Europe about a transfer. Quite a development, if it's true.

However, Marca ran a story yesterday saying that Barcelona had agreed a €27m fee with Arsenal but we've asked Barcelona not to announce it until we've found a replacement. It does strike me that perhaps the Madrid based Marca is trying to cause the deal some problems by running a story like that.

If it's true then they've blown the whole thing wide open, if it's not true and the deal doesn't happen then they make Barcelona look like chumps. As I said yesterday though there's really far too much going on around Adebayor for this to be all speculative. We've read his agent saying that he'd sign for Milan, who are playing UEFA Cup football next season. It's hard to think his agent would turn down an approach from Barcelona where Adebayor could play alongside Henry again. When he wasn't sitting on the bench watching Henry play alongside Bojan and Messi.

At the moment the facts, such as they are, is about as far as I'm willing to go with this story. Further comment or opinion can wait because we have to also accept the fact that the Spanish press are notorious shit-stirrers and putting words in players mouths or transfer requests on clubs tables is all part of the tactics. Let's wait and see.

Goodplaya has some info - and I know Goodplaya would not print this sort of thing unless there was something to it. 

Eurowatch - mad game last night, eh? No real Arsenal interest though. Tonight sees Robin van Persie's Holland take on Russia. Vague Arsenal interest in Andrei Arshavin?

Arsene Wenger talks about Euro 2008 to the BBC. Hopefully this plays for everyone. I know they're a bit funny with regions and things like that. He talks about van Persie saying he can 'do anything' and calling him 'top class'. If he can stay fit, of course.

Right, I'm off to enjoy the rain. Have a good day.

Good morning to you all,

it is very quiet today, I have to say. This is the way of the summer. I'm trying to go through today's blog without mentioning ***** ***** as it's all a bit boring now. When he signs, he signs. Until then I'm not getting involved in any of the rest of it.

AC Milan have targetted Adebayor, it seems. They've also targetted Eto'o and Drogba who are much more available this summer so I don't think we've got anything to worry about. You'd have to laugh if Drogba went to AC Milan though - take that Flamster! UEFA Cup football now you have to play with that cunt. Football is a hilarious game sometimes.

Gael Clichy, whose middle name should be Winston, I think, says that Arsenal won't make the same mistakes next season when it comes to the pursuit of the title. He says:

Arsenal won't make the same mistakes next season when it comes to the pursuit of the title.

Good man, Winston! I'm right behind you. Thankfully he didn't get picked for France this summer so he can chill out on the beach drinking rum based cocktails and recharge his batteries fully for the season ahead in which Arsenal won't make the same mistakes next season when it comes to the pursuit of the title.

Alexander Hleb's agent creams himself over the news that Real Madrid are after his client. He says:

This is fucking sweet. Honestly. Inter, Barcelona and Real Madrid all want to sign Alexander. It's great. Do you have any idea what this will do for my profile? I'll have a stable full of Eastern European players now all convinced I can get them a move to a big club and I'll take my percentage of their wages and buy a big house and a big car and I might even have a harem. I've always wanted a harem and girls to put their finger up my bum.

Some people. I dunno, it's a crazy world we live in folks. Right, that's about all the news there is. I suppose we should get on with the Arsecast.

Firstly, there were some problems with the iTunes music store so if you want to subscribe directly via that simply click here and it should do the rest. If you don't want to use the store go to iTunes > Advanced > Subscribe to podcast and enter the feed URL which you can copy from here.

Obviously you can use that feed in whatever your favourite podcast getting feed type program you use.

To download this week's arsecast directly - click here (14mb MP3). You can find the arsecast archives here. And you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

And that's it. Have a fine Friday. I'll be back with more tomorrow.

Happy Friday to you all. Not a huge amount happening to be honest but we'll muddle on the best we can.

Some good news to begin with and it looks like Gael Clichy is set to sign a new 4 year deal with the club. He was certainly one of our best players last season, his consistency was fantastic and it's great that he's going to sign on. He says:

We're at the end of our discussions. Everything's going well because my intention is clear: I want to stay at Arsenal. I never hesitated, not at all. Arsenal is one of the great clubs in Europe.

And for those of us who worry about the injury-prone van Persie and Rosicky we shouldn't overlook the fact that Gael spent a long time out with an injury that was career threatening at one point. Hey, I'm trying to be positive here. Clichy says he wants to be an Arsenal legend, something his predecessor was on the road to being before he fucked off to become one of the biggest cunts on earth. Put him to shame, GC.

The Telegraph reports that we're set to offer Fabregas, Adebayor, Sagna and the aforementioned Clichy new and improved deals to ensure their futures at the club. Erm, good! What more can you say about that?

Arsene yesterday confirmed that the club were applying for a work permit for Carlos Vela and that he would be involved in first team action next season. Those of us thinking he might solve our problems in wide areas need to think again though, it seems. The boss sees him as a striker, saying:

He has played the whole season at Osasuna on the left wing and he had to work hard there. But for me it is not his position he is a central striker, an Eduardo type.

That said the boss did play Eduardo wide from time to time, but rarely as part of a four man midfield, usually when we played with just one up top. He is very quick though and the idea of himself and Theo on the wings is a bit exciting. Two absolute fliers. Take that, slowcoach full backs of other teams!

Not much else happening so we might as well move on to your regular Friday dose of Arsecastness.

On this week's show there's no blogchat, instead there are contributions from you lot about your best and worst moments of the season. Some of them are serious, some not so serious, some downright hysterical, thank you all for taking the time to call the Arseblog hotline. The Arseline? The throbbing red Arse phone? Erm...

As well as that there's a player history from The Man in the Bar, we're at home with Eboue, there's a tale of the unexpected and much, much more.

And by much, much more I mean fuck all else. Sorry, but that's the truth of it.

To subscribe to the arsecast in iTunes - click here. The direct feed URL is here. To download this week's arsecast directly - click here (14mb MP3). You can find the arsecast archives here . And you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

And that's about that. More tomorrow, Arsechums.