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Wolves 1-4 Arsenal : Good fortune comes with good form

Sunday, 08 November 09, 04:12 AM

It's funny how when you're playing well and in good form you find things going your way, little bits of luck that can help decide a game.

I think it's fair to say we got a bit of that yesterday against Wolves. You certainly wouldn't have put too much money on the final scoreline after the first twenty minutes. The home side played very well, put us some pressure and had they a more clinical striker they might well have scored. 

For our part we looked a bit unbalanced. There were three changes from Wednesday night. Sagna came in for Eboue, as expected. Eduardo for Nasri was no real surprise but the inclusion of Aaron Ramsey at the expense of Alex Song was a bit curious. I'm sure Song needs a rest now and again, our lack of an alternative to him is a bit worrying, and I know Ramsey needs games. I'm glad to see him play as he's a huge talent, I just don't see the Welshman as a like for like replacement.

Cesc and Thomas Vermaelen against WolvesThere was definitely an element of good fortune to Arsenal's first two goals but perhaps the best thing to happen on the night was the injury to Diaby. And I mean that in the sense that it meant Song came on, Ramsey was free to play alongside Cesc, and we immediately looked much better. Obviously I hope Diaby's not injured in any serious way but the difference when Song came on was so obvious the manager can't be blind to it.

We went ahead through a corner from our left. At first it looked as if Eduardo had poached one in typical Eduardo style but it was an own goal from Wolves defender Ronald Zubar who really has an excellent name. The second also looked like a piece of classy finishing from Eduardo but I think it's one for the dubious goals committee. We caught them high up the pitch, Ramsey and Eduardo were 2 on 1 against the Wolves defender, Ramsey's pass was a little short and I think Eduardo was trying to chip it back over the defender for Ramsey to score. Instead it hit Craddock on the head and looped into the top corner. It was very nice to look at but I think it was another own goal.

There was nothing lucky about the third though. A sweeping move saw Bacary Sagna out on our right hand side, he crossed it into the box and Robin van Persie touched it into the path of the oncoming Cesc Fabregas who finished at the near post to make it 3-0. Sagna has perhaps responded to Eboue being considered a better attacker than him by upping his game in that area. His final ball is a lot more threatening than it was but you really won't see a better first touch than than van Persie's all season long. With his wrong foot he just killed the pace on the ball, Cesc didn't even have to break his stride to score. Sublime football and 3-0 to Arsenal at half time.

With the game essentially dead and buried the second half was a bit dull. I remember a decent chance for Eduardo, Rosicky put one over when he came on, Aaron Ramsey shot just wide late in the half, and our goal came from Andrei Arshavin. At first I thought we'd gotten lucky again, at first view it looked as if the defender had kicked the ball off the Russian and it had gone in. The replays showed he was quickest to react after the keeper's poor punch from our corner.

If you want to nitpick at all you might point to the fact that their late goal is another clean sheet gone begging. The normally faultless Thomas Vermaelen showed he's human after all when he let Craddock get away from him and the header into the top corner was pretty much unstoppable. Arsene said he's not that worried about the goals we're conceding because if you look at the stats we've had the fewest shots taken against us. Maybe the worry is we're just much better at conceding than anyone else. As I said though it seems a bit nit-picky when you score four away from home, but you're not always going to score four.

Afterwards Cesc said:

It was disappointing to concede from a set-piece like that. They played well. We were not at our best but still managed to score four.

While Arsene had this to say:

We have a style where everyone goes forward. You cannot have everything in football, but I believe we have a good balance between offense and defence, and as long as we score as many goals as we do, we can accept that.

We are in a strong position because we have a game in hand. Let’s keep strength in our belief, keep humility, and enjoy our game

The win puts us in second place in the table. It might just be temporary. In fact, I hope it is just temporary. If United get anything from today's game against Chelsea then they'll go above us and the ideal outcome of today's game is a draw. Even with a game in hand we don't want Chelsea going 5 points clear.

Of course now we're into an Interlull which really is a pain. The way we're playing at the moment you just want the next game to come, even if it is November, traditionally a difficult month for us. There's not much we can do about though beyond hoping for injury free international outings for our lads and that we can pick things up where we left off when we come back.

And that's about that. There's nothing of any great interest in the tabloids this morning so it's breakfast time. Have a good Sunday, here's to a cracking and destructive draw between Cunts and Cunts this afternoon, more tomorrow.

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Arsenal 4-1 AZ Alkmaar : More goals at the Grove ...

Thursday, 05 November 09, 02:14 AM

Some nights Arsenal just click and it's beautiful to watch. After about five minutes we put together a flowing, pacey, one-touch move which ended up with a Robin van Persie shot flying just wide of the AZ goal. After that you knew Arsenal were in the mood.

We opened the scoring through Cesc Fabregas whose low shot scuttered between a defender's legs and practically trickled across the line. The AZ keeper obviously got his hair in his eyes or something. Poor keeping it might have been but I can live with poor keeping all day long as long as it's not at our end. The second goal looked a bit like poor defending but having watched the replays it was, instead, a very good goal.

Cesc scores his second ...Picking up the ball in the centre of the pitch Andrei Arshavin played a fantastic ball down the middle for Samir Nasri. He took it on, wiggled his hips like some kind of footballing Elvis, putting the nearest AZ defender flat on his arse. He took it on a bit more, held off the challenges, and fnished adroitly into the bottom corner.

It was his first goal of the season and his presence in the team in the future is important. Both he and Rosicky have the ability to drive forward quickly in midfield, to beat a defender with skill and pace, where other midfield options might look for a more simple or conservative pass. It allows us to break down teams who are well organised defensively, like AZ obviously set out to be last night.

So 2-0 at half-time and given how quickly the third goal came in the second half you might go so far as to say that the team has learned the lesson of West Ham. Against Sp*rs we got the third to calm the nerves, last night wasn't nervy but the goal was important just to confirm Arsenal's superiority and to ensure the visitors didn't get any smart ideas about sneaking one and making us all a bit jumpy.

Again Arshavin was the architect, playing in Cesc who gave the keeper the far post eyes before slamming it home high at the near side. A fantastic goal from a truly fantastic player. He's got 8 goals already this season, a brilliant return for a midfielder, and if this new formation suits anyone, it's him. He can make goals, he can score goals, and there was a moment in the first half when he rose highest at the back post to a head a Kieran Gibbs header over that illustrated just how much he's enjoying his football right now.

With the game won at that stage the manager was able to take off van Persie and Cesc, replacing them with Eduardo and Ramsey. AZ got forward a bit and Pellé brought out a fantastic save from Manuel Almunia who pushed his close range volley onto the bar. 

The goal of the night was to follow though. We brought it out of defence, played to Eduardo whose backheel from just inside our half set Andrei Arshavin free. He took it on, played a pass I thought at first was a bit heavy for Abou Diaby, but the big man loves a goal. He stuck one of those long legs out to control it and then sidefooted it past the keeper to make it 4-0. That's his 4th goal of the season and it made for a hat-trick of assists for Arshavin.

Arshavin was replaced by Rosicky who slotted into the system flawlessly. With Arsenal claiming a penalty for handball at one end, the Dutch went up the other and scored. Perhaps a bit of defensive naivety from Kieran Gibbs but Almunia's copybook was somewhat blotted when their player drilled it home at his near post. It looked as if he was moving to his right, anticipating a cross to free AZ players on that side, but at 4-1 it didn't really matter.

Afterwards an ebullient Arsene Wenger declared the performance 'brilliant', saying:

We dominated our subject technically, tactically and overall we felt never under threat. We played with the needed confidence, technically astute, overall very happy. It's important to keep that attitude to progress, to improve and to play for each other even more. Then we can believe in our future.

While just to keep feet on the ground, Cesc said:

It's just the beginning of the season, nothing is done, we want to keep going until the end. I'll feel it is something special when we win something. We want to win and if we win something at the end we will say we had a good year.

Wise words, indeed. Performances like last night are marvelous fun but ultimately just a very small part of the bigger picture. We can enjoy them as much as we like but for the players it's important to realise that you don't get trophies for nice football and impressive performances. It's a reminder from the captain that there's a long way to go yet and a lot of work still to be done. Impressive stuff from the young man who appears to be growing into the role as the natural leader of this team. He's never going to be one of those shouting, in your face, captains, but you can see from his performances how focussed he is and that will transmit itself to the rest of the players. Leading by example, you might say.

Qualification remains unconfirmed due to other results but we just need one point from our last two games to go through, a win against Standard Liege in the next game will ensure we top the group.

So, another fantastic home performance and our form at the Grove is something a bit special this season. We've played 10, won 10 and scored 33 goals in the process. It's becoming something of a fortress, maybe for the first time since we moved from Highbury, and nobody is going to fancy playing us there. There are those who criticise, saying we have the most expensive seats in football, but it's hard to argue we're not providing value for money at home this season. 

Next up, Wolves in the league. More to come on that in the next couple of days. Have a good one.

Quick update: Stan Kroenke now owns 29.9% of Arsenal - http://tinyurl.com/yz2fol3 . 200 shares purchased, 100 of which came from Chairman PHW. Any further share purchases would require him to make a bid for the whole club.

Interesting.

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Arsenal 3-0 Sp*rs : Feet talk better than fat mouths

Sunday, 01 November 09, 04:43 AM

Yesterday's game against Sp*rs raised so many questions for me. Having travelled that morning from Dublin knowing that Sp*rs were now stronger than us, I have to admit I was ever so worried. Robbie Keane surely wouldn't lie. Peter Crouch also had his tuppenceworth to throw in about the respective merits of both teams, suggesting that his was better than ours. He seems an amiable, honest chap. Why would he dissemble so?

And then, sitting on the tube to Victoria, I read Harry Redknapp in the papers saying that Arsenal lacked the experience for games like this. And you know what? They were all right. 

Sp*rs were stronger than us when it came to making substitutions. Keane must have raced off the pitch quicker than Billy Whizz when his number came up. And Crouchy, if I may call him that, had it spot on. His team outshone ours in the whole 'The only plan we have is to hoof it to up the lanky cunt up front who will use his elbows and lean all over our defenders' thing. Credit where it's due. 

And as for ol' Twitchy himself, Arsenal did lack experience. The experience of being shit cunts who got turned over big time without Arsenal ever really having to play that well. If it's no trouble to them at all I would very much encourage more hubristic chatter before we play them again. It does make victory all the sweeter.

There are some who might say there's little chance of a day which begins with two gin and tonics at 6am ending well. Those people would be wrong. Awake at 5am, on a flight, then a train from Gatwick having to listen to a crazy woman talking to a bloke who looked like Lee Bowyer crossed with an Orc, then to Holloway Road via the Armoury and in the pub by 10am for a breakfast pint of Guinness. It could only have been better if the pint of Guinness had bacon and sausage in it. Oooh, there's an idea. A real breakfast pint, eating and drinking. 

Folks arrived, the atmosphere built, some nervous, some quite confident that Sp*rs were going to take it all the way, songs being sung, copies of Two Halves being read having been brought to the pub by GilbertoSilver, the build up was fantastic. And inside the ground there was a real buzz. Lots of red and white and a corner of teeny-tiny white cocks.

The game itself was odd, at first. Ref Clattenburg allowed David Bentley away with a deliberate handball and a very obvious foul in the first couple of minutes. Maybe on another day you might say the ref showed some common sense and didn't get his cards out too early, but that other day is for cunts. It was a North London derby and we wanted the pantomime villain booked. As it turned out Bentley trudged around the pitch forlornly trying to do something, anything, clearly not so much for the team as for himself. I laughed at the number of times he stood, hugging the touchline, his arm in the air like a desperate schoolboy who for once knows the answer to teacher's question, only to watch the ball messed around with or given away by his teamchums.

Arsenal v Spurs - October 31st 2009

Gomes made a fantastic save from Cesc. So fantastic I was almost on my feet to cheer the goal but it wasn't to be. Yet. Bendtner was replaced by Eduardo after picking up a groin injury. Arshavin pootered about the place not doing very much at all, the game was a bit flat, a bit one paced and at times we were careless and sloppy in possession. Players on their heels and not their toes, missing passes and it was a bit frustrating because we knew they were there for the taking if we stepped it up a bit.

It was hard to see where the goal was going to come from. Then we got a throw on the right, it came back to Sagna who crossed it, Robin van Persie got ahead of Leadfooted King and poked it home to make it 1-0. Awesome. And I was still celebrating, and laughing, at Sp*rs when all of a sudden Cesc was clean through on goal and it was 2-0. The roar was primal. There was a man sitting behind me who was a guest of an Arsenal fan, a neutral observer in all this, and he seemed most amused at the way the second was being celebrated. 

Not that I care. I'd have lap-danced for him at that stage if he'd asked, such was my delirium. 2-0 to the Arsenal rocked around the Grove, the place was heaving. From going in at half-time 0-0 to being two up almost out of nowhere. I had to watch Match of the Day when I got home to see Cesc's goal properly and ol' Twitchy complained about the Arsenal goals saying 'There wasn't a good one between them'. I respectfully disagree. 

The first goal was marvellous, instinctive striking play, the kind of poacher's goal that would have pundits creaming themselves and telling Capello to take Michael Owen to the World Cup if he were capable of scoring that kind of goal these days. But the second. Well that was a fucking brilliant goal. What do I care if Agent Palacios gave us the ball back easily? Cesc took it, went past one man, skipped over Palacios's lunge, nutmegged Leadfoot King, brought it on and stuck it past Gomes at his near post. If that isn't a fucking good goal then I need to start watching netball instead. 

At 2-0 with this Arsenal team you can't ever be sure. Even against opposition as poor as West Ham or Sp*rs but nerves were settled early enough into the second half with the third. Apu-Apricoto took out Eduardo on our right hand side, the linesman flagged and everyone stopped thinking the ref would give the free kick. Instead he waved play on, Sagna reacted quickest, took it on, crossed towards Robin van Persie but it was meat and drink for the goalkeeper, except the goalkeeper turned out to be a vegetarian teetotaller and spat it back out into the path of Robin van Persie who put it away to make it 3-0 to the Arsenal.

When you consider Eduardo should have had at least one, possibly two, it could have been even better. Wenger went absolutely mental when Eddie missed the second chance. As it trickled wide he took off his jacket, threw it on the ground, jumped up and down, his arms extended in pure 'What the fuck was that?' mode, but it was only because he wanted to turn the screw as much as we did. 3-0 is a decent win, 4-0 or 5-0 is a right slapping and who wouldn't have wanted to inflict that yesterday?

Sp*rs only real moment of danger was when Bentley managed to produce one decent set-piece delivery but it was well saved by Almunia who looked assured and confident on his return to the team. And afterwards the consensus was that it had been easy. That for all their talk, all their bluster, Sp*rs were just ... well, they were just Sp*rs.

For us it was another three points, we've dropped only two from our last 6 league league games, a temporary move into 2nd in the table although United's win in the evening put them back above us (we do have a game in hand), and it was a reminder to our neighbours that it's what happens on the pitch and not on the back pages that counts. As Arsene Wenger "Football is not about opinion. It’s about performance". And how can you argue with that?

The pub afterwards, more songs, more pints, post-game euphoria which is what gets you through when you're sitting in Gatwick, as tired as a cunt, having another couple of gin and tonics to add symmetry to the day's proceedings. The tiredness doesn't matter when you've won 3-0, when you've had a great day out with great folk, when you realise that football, for all the frustration and vexation and disappointment it brings us at times, is probably the best thing in the world. Ever.

Only because we are the Arsenal though. 

Reaction: Arsene Wenger, Robin van Persie.

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Early Birmingham team news, Kroenke + Arsecast 135

Friday, 16 October 09, 02:40 AM

Right then, here go back into the thick of it. We've got football tomorrow and this is good. A home game against Birmingham is a relatively nice way to get things going again after the Interlull and there's some early team news.

Eduardo misses out on the chance for revenge against Birmingham as he remains out with his thigh injury. With arch-villain Martin Taylor injured anyway that will have to wait until we visit St Andrews in March. The goalkeeping situation is that Lukasz Fabianski is back yet Manuel Almunia remains 50-50 with his 'chest infection'. You have to think the Pole will come back into the side ahead of Don Vito who has done well when called upon.

Gael Clichy is a doubt with an ankle knock picked up on international duty so a first Premier League start of the season could be on the cards for Kieran Gibbs while Abou Diaby has a bit of a knock but should be ok. Aside from that I don't think we've got any other niggles but we'll get a definitive answer on that when Arsene talks to the media at his pre-game press conference today.

As I said Birmingham is a good game to try and pick up where we left off before the break. We had, since the Man City defeat, won 6 games in a row scoring 18 and conceding only 4. With the game tomorrow and a trip to Holland midweek for a Champions League tie against AZ Alcazar it's as good an opportunity as the fixture computer throws up to build momentum before we start getting back into the thick of things again. More on the Birmingham game tomorrow.

The other main news is that Stan Kroenke has upped his stake in the club to 28.9% after buying another clump of shares. I have no idea if he's paid for these ones or written an IOU or what but what's clear is that he's edging ever closer to the 29.9% stake which would require him to make an offer for all the shares. And it does look as if this purchasing is being done with the full blessing of the board. Chairman Peter Hill-Wood said:

It does look like he is edging towards a takeover, which I would welcome. I have not asked him if that is what he plans to do, but I am very relaxed about it.

If it was to happen, I don't think you can expect any big changes because he seems to like things very much the way they are.

It's the first time we've heard from the board that they'd be willing to sell up to Kroenke and you have to think that his increased presence at the club, he attended the Wigan game last month for example, means that there's a plan in place. He is board-friendly, he's not buying up these shares for fun, and at some point I suppose he's going to try and consolidate his holding.

Kroenke does have part-ownership of some sports 'franchises' in the US and I think, if the rest of the shares were held by the board he'd probably be quite happy to do the same with Arsenal. The elephant in the room, of course, is Alisher Usmanov and Red and White Holdings. We know there's no love lost between the current board and Usmanov and I can't see Kroenke and Usmanov working side by side in the years ahead so what happens will certainly be interesting. 

And while I've always been of the opinion that I'd prefer if Arsenal's ownership was more traditional, shall we say, I'd certainly feel more confident that the self-sustainable, well-run model currently employed by the club would be maintained under Kroenke rather than Usmanov. Let's wait and see what happens.

Not much else going on. Cesc talks about winning the league and there's some idle transfer speculation regarding Eboue and Atletico Madrid but with the transfer window not open until January I'm going to pass on that kind of stuff for the moment.

Right, competition winners. I've had a copy of the Official Illustrated History of Arsenal and two of Gunners Lists to give away with thanks to Octopus Books. I asked you how many times Arsenal had appeared in the FA Cup final and the answer is 17. Although I did allow 18 if you mentioned the replay against Sheffield Weds. It's funny how many people answered the question 'How many times have Arsenal won the FA Cup?', weird.

Anyway, the RNG has done its thing and the winner of the Official History book is Jeff Ferman while Richard Savage and Brian Agnew get copies of Gunners Lists. Well done to you, I'll be in touch to get details, and thanks to everyone else who entered. Better luck next time.

Now, Arsecast time. On this week's "Oh shit there's nothing to talk about" Arsecast I chat with Goodplaya about the return of the Premier League, Almunia's 'chest infection' and more. Sylvester is in there and ... erm ... that's about it. It's a shorter Arsecast than usual but it's (probably) better than no Arsecast at all. Probably.

You can subscribe to the Arsecast on iTunes by clicking here. Or if you want to subscribe directly to the feed URL you can do so too. To download this week's arsecast directly - click here (15mb MP3), you can download a zipped version here or you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

And that's that. Have a good day, more tomorrow.

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Interlull : Some Wenger speak + scummy blogs

Tuesday, 13 October 09, 03:04 AM

Having sat here for a while, scratching only occasionally, I can now declare this Interlull officially a pain in the arse. I've had quite enough now and I demand it stops at once.

You would think with all the highly intelligent readers Arseblog has, and I'm including all three of them in this, that someone would have invented some kind of device to either provide entertainment during Interlulls or which would destroy countries therefore putting an end to international football once and for all.

Anyway, maybe that's something they can work on for the next one. In the meantime there's some scant Arsenal news starting with Arsene Wenger being impressed with William Gallas. He's probably in the best form since he joined the club and his partnership with Thomas Vermaelen shows a good deal of promise. Arsene says:

William Gallas has had a fine start to the season, which is down to both his attitude and the quality of the player. He behaves 100% as a professional and is highly focused in training.

Which, I suppose, is the very least you should expect from any player. On the partnership with the Belgian, he says:

It has gelled more quickly than I expected. This is for two reasons; first of all, Vermaelen adapted faster, and secondly William fits more comfortably on the right side of a central defence than on the left.

There are still defensive issues to sort out, no question about it, but you don't get the feeling any longer that we're ready to crumble right down the middle like we've seen in seasons past. 

Arsene also said he wouldn't be the one to name his own successor at the club when the time comes, saying it's beyond his remit. Which is absolutely right. Plus there'd surely be the temptation to have a bit of fun with that. At your goodbye press conference you might say "And it is with great pleasure that I name the next Arsenal manager - that's right, it's MOR sax crooner Kenny G! Kenny, get out here you big lug!!!"

And out Kenny would come, parping on his horn as shocked onlookers tried to make some kind of sense out of what they were seeing. And when he announced his backroom staff of Baltimora, the lead singer from Mr Mister and the drummer from Glass Tiger the confusion would be palpable. And that is why Arsene won't be naming the next Arsenal manager.

Frank McLintock says Alex Song can be the next Peter Storey so if you're looking for dodgy coins or porno videos the Cameroonian is the man to see. Oh, he means football. That makes more sense, to be fair. It is somewhat funny to see Frank's positive articles appear on the official site when he's been rather critical elsewhere in recent weeks though.

The Sun says Arsene Wenger has a plan for Fran. And the plan is a five year deal and not, disappointingly, anything to do with a flan. Don't get me wrong, a five year deal for a talented young player is a great thing but there's a massive gap in the market for a rhyming flan brand. Fran's Flans! I can see world domination from here. Maybe it's something he can address when he finishes with football. Provided I don't change my name to Fran and get there ahead of him. It strikes me the young Spaniard has got some tough decisions to make in the weeks and months ahead.

The Mirror reports Cesc will return to Arsenal today which, I suppose, means that things are somewhat better in terms of his family problem and that's good news. I have to say it was not at all surprising but still somewhat disappointing that some Arsenal blogs chose to publish information and pictures that they really shouldn't have with regard to this story. Sadly there's a tabloid culture to some of these blogs and they're little more than bottom feeders scratching around for cheap hits, ignoring the rights of players and their families to a bit of privacy, especially at a difficult time.

I could go on but I won't. I just hope they realise that not everything is fit for public consumption and if they don't realise that I hope they get run over by a bus. Twice.

Right, just three more Interlull days to get through before we can get ourselves back on track. 

And finally, don't forget the gala showing of The Gooner Review takes place this evening. You can get tickets on the door. See here for more info.

Till tomorrow.

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Interlull : Barcelona more tedious than Phil Collins ...

Monday, 12 October 09, 02:23 AM

Welcome to another week of the Interlull but at least we can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And with that light at the end of that tunnel we could see, for example, Barcelona's Txiki Begiristain and use that light to ensure that our punches got him right in his stupid, big snout. He's been giving it the usual crap about Cesc coming back to Barcelona 'one day' but hinting at a move in January.

Surely they ought to just shut up. Why can't they shut up? It's easy. If it's not him it's Laporta and if it's not Laporta it's one of the players going on about Cesc's DNA as if they were footballing CSI blokes. It is hugely disrespectful to Arsenal, not that they care about that, and it's hugely disrespectful to Cesc himself who has, at almost every opportunity, restated his commitment to Arsenal.

Whenever a story 'emerges' from the fiction fingers of the Spanish press, generally planted there by Barcelona or agents who may or not have a close association with Barcelona and, maybe Arsenal, Cesc has refuted them totally. Every single time.

It's so ming-bogglingly tiresome and, in a week when Cesc has withdrawn from the Spanish squad to be with his seriously ill grandfather, it's massively insensitive of Begiristain to start banging this drum again. I know it's probably water off a duck's back for Cesc but I'm sure more of this speculation is something he could just as easily do without at the moment. But then Barcelona only care about Barcelona.

Can you imagine the fuss they'd kick up if we started talking about one of their players all the time? They need to back off, big time. I don't think anyone's under any illusions that one day Cesc will go and play football in Spain but at the moment he's the captain of Arsenal and Barcelona need to show him and our club a bit of respect. I realise that's a bit like asking John Terry not to be the most despicable human being ever born but still.

And with a presidential election to come at the Catalan club this summer things are only going to get worse, I reckon. Perhaps Ivan Gazidis needs one more addition to his backroom squad. A 6'8" mixed martial arts expert who moves in the shadows and who can just appear behind Laporta or Begiristain as they go to their car and 'advise them' that they need to shut their stupid big mouths. Or their mouths won't have any teeth left. Leaving them on the ground clutching their incredibly painful testicles would be a hint of things to come. Come on Ivan, sort it.

Maybe all the Arsenal blogs should have a 'Messi is going to sign for Arsenal' story at some stage this week. Lash in a couple of fake quotes from an Arsenal insider and see if we can't get a reaction from the Spanish press. It might help pass the time in what's going to be another dull week.

Apart from that there's not a thing left about Arsenal to talk about. Hope you had a good weekend. Mine was quite fine. I proved a very important point as well. That my footballing ability is directly related to the length of my facial hair. I had been cultivating a fine beard, simply because I was embracing the scruffy old tramp side of me, but I realised that the more my beard grew the worse I got at football. And trust me, I can't afford to get much worse.

Having had at the multi-coloured fuzz on my face with the shears on Saturday, yesterday's game of 5-a-side was a triumph of close control, amazing finishing, hard tackling and going in goal for a rest when I was knackered (quite often indeed). I think the beard must affect my aerodynamics in a bad way. 

Funny that, eh?

Anyway, that'll have to do. Till tomorrow.

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Interlull : It continues ...

Thursday, 08 October 09, 02:28 AM

Any evidence you need that this is going to be the worst, slowest, most tedious, news unfilled Interlull of all time came yesterday when Sylvester was given top billing on the official site telling us how we haven't seen the best of him yet.

It'd probably be fair to say we've already seen the best of him and that came when he was wearing a United shirt. But he's probably right in that we haven't seen the best of him when the best of him refers only to the best of him in an Arsenal shirt. Yet it's the thought of him in an Arsenal shirt that's a bit depressing.

I know Arsene got a bit cranky at that meeting last season when someone called Sylvester a 'geriatric'. That was unfair. To geriatrics, har har! But as a football fan how are you supposed to forget about all the times you played against a player playing for a team you hate? One day he's a figure of contempt, the next he rocks up in an Arsenal shirt all smiling and happy and stuff. 

As I mentioned yesterday I am a grudge holder. The last time we moved house I found boxes full of them, ones that I had even forgotten about, and when it comes to football I suspect I am world champion at grudgery and umbrage. You think you're better? I doubt it.

I would, if I saw him in the street tomorrow, mow down Trevor Brooking without giving it so much as a thought. 9 years old I was when he scored that poxy header which cost us the FA Cup. Here were are almost 30 years later and the rage still burns strong. Brooking appears to be a relatively affable sort in the wider context of the football world but I'd still reverse over him to make sure.

Remember Nelson Vivas making that mistake against Leeds that season? Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink scored the goal which cost us the title. Such is my grudge holding that if time travel were invented I would go back in time and get Mr Floyd Hasselbaink on his stag night and introduce him to a sexy young girl with whom he would get it on and by virtue of having had one more sexual experience an entirely different sperm would impregnate Mrs Hasselbaink when they did get married so the Jimmy Floyd they had might actually be a girl or, at worst, a boy who preferred to write poetry and not play football so that goal would never have been scored and we would be champions.

I could go on. One more? Right then. Some time back in the 80s I went to see Arsenal play Shamrock Rovers in a pre-season friendly at their old Milltown ground. The place was absolutely packed and Arsenal played as if they'd come over, gone to Mulligans on Poolbeg Street and drank the place dry of Guinness. Which is probably exactly what they did. I have a vague recollection of Pierce O'Leary, David's brother, playing for Rovers. Arsenal lost. This remains unacceptable to me. Living in Dublin I didn't get too many opportunities to see Arsenal in the 80s so how dare these part-timers beat us. I don't know who any of them are now but I still have a desire to flay and roll in salt anybody wearing a green and white hooped shirt. Yes, Lord of the Wing, that might include you.

So, it's a complicated business being a football fan and when you read stuff about Sylvester it's hard to take it seriously. I loved Freddie and Sylvester got sent off for whacking Freddie with his giant forehead. I think his terminal decline began there. It'd be like being hit with a sledgehammer but a sledgehammer with eyebrows. It makes my grudge-centre confused. And this is not good.

Anyway, on to matters Arsenal and ... oh yeah, there really isn't much news. Aaron Ramsey talks about the influence Arsene Wenger is having on his career while Armand Traore says the boss has told him he needs to work hard and be patient. Carling Cup aside I don't think he's figured at all this season. Kieran Gibbs is preferred to him on the bench and after a good run of first team football last season at Portsmouth it's gotta be tough for him.

There's some stupid transfer stuff about Carles Puyol to Arsenal and yet another Barcelona player has done the 'Cesc should sign for us' story. I wonder are they on some kind of schedule.

"Xavi, you're up!"

"Me again? Already?! Fair enough. Cesc DNA blah di blah great player blah blah"

"Super! Now talk about how we should exhume Franco and make him manager".

"What?"

"Kidding! Kidding!"

"Oh you".

They're a laugh a minute those crazy Catalans. 

Pfff. Till tomorrow.

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Defending, scoring, miracle performing, Defourming

Tuesday, 06 October 09, 02:13 AM

Good morning from a very rainy Dublin. It's as if the whole place has been transported overnight to somewhere like Ireland ... oh.

I hope you've got your brolly and galoshes as we step on out into the Interlull once again. You know, if I were to ever write a science-fiction novel, I would include a strange and desolate place called 'The Interlull', inhabited by dust and half-dead trees where the only living thing was an unnerving creature you couldn't see, but whose breath you could hear, that was always behind you.

Anyway, there's no need to resort to sci-fi just yet. There's a bit of football to be going on with this morning. After slamming six past Fat Sam it's nice to hear that we can do better and new boy Thomas Vermaelen, despite his goalscoring exploits, isn't blind to the defensive wobbility we tend to suffer from. He says:

The first half was a little bit disappointing for us as a defence because we gave away too many chances and they scored two goals. That is something which we must improve and there are things we can work on.

As much as defenders like to score they like clean sheets better and it's good to know that we haven't lost sight of that. On days like Sunday we can always score more than the opposition but when faced with better opposition it becomes more difficult to win games. The prime examples, of course, are from last season. We scored 4 against Sp*rs and drew at home, and 4 at Anfield yet Arshavin's heroics were not those of a match winner. 

For all the goal scoring you need to be able to grind out a 1-0s during a season. We've shown we're capable of it as the win against Fulham testifies but I don't think anybody would complain if we became more miserly at the back.

Theo Walcott, who can now spend the week at the training ground playing Yahtzee and Mousetrap, has been singing the praises of Cesc Fabregas. After his stellar performance against Blackburn, Theo says of his captain:

If he plays like he did against Blackburn, nobody will be able to stop him this season. He is fantastic to play with.

While Andrei Arshavin says:

Fabregas performed miracles.

And I'm told from an extremely good training ground source that at half-time much needed supplies had not arrived due to traffic problems so Cesc turned water into Lucozade Sport to allow our players to rehydrate properly for the second half. Ground staff also reported finding a cupboard entirely full of loaves and dishes, which indicates he hasn't quite got the hang of his powers yet, but never mind.

Theo went on to talk about the new system and how it suits him. In mentioning him and Carlos Vela the other day I mentioned how they should be able to make the most of the 4-3-3 so it's interesting to hear Theo talk about it.

I also noticed a video interview with Carlos Vela on the official site where he says he'll make his mark this season but it's one of those interviews done in Spanish then dubbed into English and for whatever reason I find it almost impossible to watch to those. I'd prefer subtitles, to be honest, or that our players speak English, so I have no clue what he's saying. 

How about a bit of transfer speculation? The Sun is linking is with injured Standard Liege midfield Steven Defour. He's got a broken foot at the moment but a fee of around £8m is being made-up reported. I don't know much about him as a player but I hope we sign him for the pun value of his name alone.

"May Defource be with you", "Steven gets Defourth as Arsenal spank United at Old Trafford", "Defourmed - horror injury rules out Gunners midfielder", and so on. 

Come on Arsene, make it happen, then surely the fates will bring about highly unlikely situations like him scoring the 4th goal at Old Trafford. It's cosmic, baby.

There was a good win for the reserves last night as they beat Chelsea 2-0 at Underhill. Banfield's Boys have made a good start to this season.

And that's about that. Have a rainy one. 

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Arsenal 6-2 Blackburn : Cesc the centre-piece as Arsenal dazzle

Monday, 05 October 09, 02:38 AM

In the 2006-7 season Blackburn came to the Grove and scored in the third minute. Arsenal went on to win the game 6-2.

Yesterday Blackburn scored in the fourth minute and the result was exactly the same. I don't think it'd be unfair to say Arsenal might have scored more too, in what was probably their best attacking display of the season. Cesc Fabregas was the Catalan Midas, everything he touched turned to goal. His performance was simply outstanding, following on from a great display against Olympiacos he put in the kind of shift which shows why this Arsenal team needs to built around him.

It comes on the back of a couple of relatively poor performances at the start of the season. Those who speculated his imminent departure to Barcelona was little more than a formality because he didn't smile when scoring a meaningless icing on the icing on the cake goal against Wigan were eating humble pie when he spoke after the game. The captain said:

There’s always speculation I don't like it here but I am committed to this club 100 per cent. It’s my seventh season and it’s hard to hear people say they think I’m not committed enough. It was a good time to show them I really love this club.

He kissed the badge and I liked it. He can kiss whatever he wants when he plays like that because it was as complete a midfield performance as you're ever likely to see.

After Blackburn's early goal, a flukey header from Nzonzi which caught Mannone a bit flat-footed, we got back into it. Thomas Vermaelen surged forward, got knocked over, got up, kept going and when he received a pass from Cesc he cut inside and let fly with that left foot of his to make it 1-1. The Belgian has made such an impact in such a short time and remains our leading scorer.

Arsenal began to test Paul Robinson knowing full well how much he likes to concede goals against Arsenal. We all know the record, it's something like 56 goals in the last 16 games, after yesterday it's 14 in the last 3, but it was Blackburn who scored next. We were caught on the break after a Diouf ball out of defence, Spacehopper head Dunn got it at the far post and his shot took a deflection off Gallas which wrong footed Mannone and Blackburn were ahead. 

Cesc scores against BlackburnThe lead only lasted three minutes though. Again Cesc was the architect. Picking up a pass from Diaby he slid the perfect ball through to Robin van Persie who slammed it home with his left foot. Three minutes later we were in front, after the ball broke to him Cesc played a very similar pass to put Andrei Arshavin through and the Russian finished with his left foot. Three goals, three left footed strikes and at half-time it was 3-2. 

The second half began very strangely I thought. It was like we were playing in slow motion. There was one bizarre moment when about three of our players were standing around the ball in our area hacking away it yet not clearing it and Blackburn can feel rightly aggrieved they weren't awarded a penalty when Spacehopper head was taken down by Thomas Vermaelen. The ref waved play on and afterwards Walrusdyce was less than impressed calling it a 'turning point'. He also claimed Vermaelen should have had a red card which is ridiculous. Yes it was a penalty but no more than that. He might stop to consider the turning point was the moment when he brought Spacehopper head off as he was clearly their best and most dangerous player on the day.

Anyway, even if it had been awarded you can be sure Arsenal would have won the game. The attacking play we produced was scintillating. Tomas Rosicky fired one just wide and he's getting better and better with every game. Robin van Persie might have had a second when Cesc's pinpoint ball over the Blackburn defence found him right in front of goal but he couldn't connect after controlling it. 

It was only right that Cesc got on the scoresheet and when Rosicky lobbed a ball back over his head the Blackburn defence stood off and Cesc guided a beautiful volley into the top corner with his left foot. No less than he deserved and it was a sublime finish, despite what David Platt said on Sky. 

In the 69th minute the manager brought on Theo Walcott for his first appearance of the season. Within a couple of minutes we'd scored. With Blackburn pressuring Gallas cleared to Cesc, he got it to Arshavin, who took the ball from our half, drove into theirs, played it square to Cesc who had continued his run, he touched it to Theo who finished first time into the bottom corner. A brilliant counter-attacking goal, started by Cesc, who kept going to provide the assist. The finish from Theo was mature as well and it bodes well.

Aaron Ramsey and Nicklas Bendtner came on for Cesc and Arshavin and it was the big Dane who got the sixth. Cutting in from the left he ran across goal and let fly with a rocket of a shot that went in off the post. After the week he's had it was good to see him finish it in that kind of style. There were other chances too, Theo had one glorious opportunity, Diaby put one just wide with his left foot and I'm sure I'm forgetting others. 

Blackburn had their moments it has to be said, hitting the post, but you just got the feeling that whatever they did (that didn't consist of Robinson hoofing long balls into our box), we were capable of ten times more. A truly outstanding attacking performance. Yes, there were some scary moments at the back and perhaps they warrant discussion but that can wait. We've got a whole Interlull to fill, don't forget. 

You do get the feeling though that if we can get a better grip on things defensively we'll be in clover because this is a team that when it clicks going forward is capable of scoring against anyone. We've now got 24 goals in 7 league games. In all competitions we've scored 36. And the way the goals are being shared around the team is hugely encouraging. We're not reliant on one or two players to get them. That we had six different scorers yesterday tells the story. It's brilliant stuff to watch but without trying to bring anybody down I'd like to see us a bit tighter at the back. 

However, let us not dwell on that. Sam Allardyce came to town and got spanked and that is a rather fine way to begin any week. Afterwards Arsene Wenger said:

When we are confident we have a flow that looks like the goals could come at any moment from anywhere. There are some strengths coming out of this team and we have to add some discipline defensively because we struggled a little bit defensively today. We looked always like we know we will score goals

And on Cesc:

A team goes always naturally through its strong points, the way of the game. So it goes, therefore, through Fabregas.

And it bears repeating how important this young man is to this Arsenal side. The new formation is certainly allowing him the freedom to show what he can do as the playmaker in this side. Like many others I felt he was wasted last season being asked to play, at times, as a second striker. Yesterday showed what he's capable of when we're set up like this. Four assists, one goal and let's not forget the two headers at the back post he might have scored from. 

What's also clear is that he has, this season, better options than last. You can be as good as you want but if you don't have players ahead of you whose movement and ability allows you to make the passes then you're going to struggle. Arshavin and Rosicky are both such clever players, always moving, making space for themselves or others to receive it, and I think Robin van Persie is getting to grips with the centre-forward position now. We've seen the progress he's made in the last few games. Not only because he's getting on the scoresheet but some of his touches in and around the box were fantastic. One backheeled pass to Bendtner to create a great chance the pick of the bunch.

So, overall lots to be happy about. We sit 4th in the table, winning our game in hand would leave us a point off United and three off leaders Chelsea so things are looking a lot healthier than they were after the defeat at Man City. 

Sadly though we're now heading into another Interlull. Our next game isn't until Saturday week, Birmingham at home, so until then we have to keep our fingers crossed that none of the lads get crocked whilst away with their countries. Theo Walcott has rather surprisingly not been called up the England squad while Robin van Persie won't play for Holland on Saturday as Mrs v P is about to have a little v P. He may return for their midweek game, if they have one, I suppose.

And that'll be about that. Have a good one.

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Eboue and Cesc hit out at Adebayor + Arsecast 132

Friday, 18 September 09, 02:19 AM

Happy Friday one and all, hope you're well. A fair amount to get through and we'll start with the early team news ahead of tomorrow's game against Wigan.

The most likely returninantor is Robin van Persie who will shake off his knee problem while Andrei Arshavin has a 10% chance according to the boss. He's so tiny that's like a 43% chance for a normal sized person. Meanwhile Denilson is going to be out for a couple of weeks with a back problem so he joins Nasri, Walcott, Vela and the long-termers Djourou and Fabianski on the sick list. More on that game tomorrow after Wenger's pre-match press conference today.

Then, as you might expect, much of the copy this morning is about Adebayor. He 'reluctantly' accepted his 3 match ban for violent conduct but still claims he has done nothing wrong, that he couldn't help stamping on van Persie's face, that it was the Arsenal fans fault for 'abusing' him and that some of the Arsenal players wouldn't shake his hand before the game. He reminds me of an Irish politician. Nothing is ever his fault. Even when caught red-handed stealing, fiddling expenses or handing fat contracts to his buddies there's never any acceptance of responsibility.

He always trots out this line about how 'The people who know me know I would never do that'. What a load of nonsense. We know you fine well and we know you would do that. In fact, we saw you do it, there are pictures taken with cameras and TV cameras and everything, you stupid, lanky twat. It's called 'evidence'. And this bullshit about the 'abuse' he suffered is fast becoming accepted fact and not simply part of Adebayor and City's spin on the whole thing.

Even his former mate Eboue has been critical of him, saying:

I’ve not spoken to him because I am very disappointed in him, it was a bad thing to do. For me, Adebayor didn’t do well and that is no good for football because you have a lot of young people who watch the game and then, they see that and it’s no good for football.

He revealed he hadn't spoken to him since, saying:

If Ade calls me, I will speak with him. But he hasn’t called me yet. I’ll wait. If he calls me, I say ’Thank-you God’, if he doesn’t call me, that’s his problem.

I love how Eboue thanks God for everything. Like he gets up in the morning and finds a fresh custard slice and says "Thank you, God, for this custard slice!", while Mrs Eboue stands behind him going 'You wanker. I spent 2 hours in Tesco yesterday". Alex Song has had a good pop at him too. I like the line about not having a laugh with him in the tunnel. Quite right.

Now, since the stamp on his foot on Saturday captain Cesc Fabregas has been very quiet, but he broke his silence yesterday, saying:

All I tried to do when he was at Arsenal was to create opportunities for him to score. So I think I didn’t do too bad for him. It is a bit strange. It is football and we don’t think about him any more. He doesn’t play for Arsenal and we just have to concentrate on our game and our play.

And that's seems entirely reasonable to me. The Sun has pictures apparently of Cesc's leg and the damage inflicted by Adebayor (obviously in a different challenge to the one on his ankle). Nice. We'll see him in April.

In other news Tomas Rosicky talks about his desire to win silverware this season, Philippe Senderos talks about why he stayed at the club, while Arsene Wenger has hit back at Karl Heinz Rummenigge over rather outrageous allegations of 'child trafficking'. He says:

We are only signing two, three players and if we are signing teenagers then we are handing them a real opportunity. You cannot say that about Bayern. I am well dismayed about such nonsense.

Well dismayed? Heh, he sounds like that fat one from Little Britain.

Anyway, that's about that. Now it's time for this week's Arsecast. I'm joined on the show by Yogi's Warrior from A Cultured Left Foot to pore over the events of the week. As well as that there's a player history from The Man in the Bar, Sylvester, scientific examination of Adebayor's antics last weekend and, of course, the winners of the competition to win the books signed by Arsene Wenger will be announced.

If you weren't one of the lucky winners remember you can buy Arsènal: The making of a modern superclub via the link using the code 'rocky' at checkout to get a £1 discount.

You can subscribe to the Arsecast on iTunes by clicking here. Or if you want to subscribe directly to the feed URL you can do so too. To download this week's arsecast directly - click here (20mb MP3) or you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

Right then, that's your lot. More tomorrow.

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