Jesus Christ the rain here this morning is fierce.

Should I be worried that I saw an old man gathering two of each animal before heading for his self-built boat sitting atop a nearby mountain?

Is it a sign of the impending armageddon that Amaury Bischoff actually played a game of football? Something strange is going on in the cosmos, people. Torrents from on high and the Bisch is back. He played 56 minutes of the reserves 3-2 win over Stoke yesterday evening and did quite well by all accounts. The game also featured Mikael Silvestre for his first appearance in an Arsenal shirt and despite going behind we came back with goals from Francis Coq au vin, Jay Simpson and Rui Fonte. Report here.

With the players away the mischief starts a bit with quotes from Cesc appearing in the Spanish press. Speaking to Spanish radio he reportedly said:

I have decided to give my all to Arsenal and to give my maximum, I’d like to try and win more titles here, nevertheless we will see what happens next year.

Now, the other quotes about it being his dream to move back to Barcelona being a 'dream' are no surprise whatsoever. Home town club, one he supports, friends, family etc. We can all understand. The quotes about having a think about his future next year are mildly worrying though.

I have no doubt that Cesc wants to win things with Arsenal. No doubt at all. On the other hand though, if I was Cesc I might wonder how realistic that goal is with the current Arsenal squad. Anyway, there's one way of making sure that's not relevant and that's by winning something this year. And making him captain. And setting Gallas adrift on a tiny raft somewhere in the pacific attached to a boat in which lives a great big tiger. I honestly think that would make a big difference. And I'll even supply the tiger.

Manuel Almunia says that Theo Walcott adding an angry side to his game has added to his game. Apparently he exposed himself to gamma radiation and now, when he gets an angry, his clothes get too small and he turns all green. Almunia says:

Theo was too nice maybe in the last two years, but this season you can see that when he gets tackled he gets furious, and that shows you he has changed. I just spoke with him once, I told him he had to be a bit more aggressive and not so nice on the pitch because if people can kill you they will do so.

There's nothing like being in fear for your life to change your attitude. I used to be very nice but when I was told that people were trying to kill me I certainly became a different person altogether. Literally. I changed my name and everything.

There is nothing else to talk to you about this morning though. As far as the Arsenal goes that's it. So, if you'll excuse me I'll go get some breakfast, daydreaming of tigers and rafts and giant crashing waves and whales crossed with squids. I call them squales.

Till tomorrow. 

Not much happening, to be honest.

We're at the very height of the Interlulll and you know things are slow when Arsene Wenger is talking about international football. Still, Arsenal's star summer signing can help ease the blues as he's going to be back from injury any time now.

Amaury Fishshop was signed from Werder Bremen for free (they even threw in all his plaster casts and traction) and he's hopeful he'll be back in contention for a place in the squad soon. He says:

The injury is getting better bit by bit. I've been doing ball work for five or six days now and I am running three times a week. I'm nearly pain-free and hope to be back as soon as possible. The ball is fascinating to me. I know it's an integral part of the game but I still haven't quite worked out exactly what it's for. I'm hoping that with continued exposure to it its purpose will become clear.

Arsene Wenger has admitted his signing is a 'gamble' but what is clear is that he's not a central-midfielder. He sees himself as more of an attacking player, perhaps another option for when Rosicky picks up another 10 month injury after just a couple of games. In the meantime they can keep each other company and cry through the dark times.

Loads of our players are in action tonight for their countries as the world cup qualifying campaigns kick off. Some of the games will be on TV where you are. You can watch if you want. I won't be, I don't think. I think I'm going to take advantage of the glorious weather here, lie on my back and drown myself.

You know they actually have ads on the radio here telling us we have to conserve water. I mean, what the fuck is that about? They say watering your lawn for an hour takes up 500 litres of water, or something. Who the fuck needs to water their lawn in Dublin for an hour? At this point it's probably already under three feet of rain. Here's a better idea you pack of wankers, instead of telling us not to use the water we have why don't you cunts figure out a way of keeping it better? Honestly, it's like telling people in the desert they have to be careful about how much sand they use.

Right, lots to do this morning so I'd best get on and do it. Till tomorrow.

Good morning to you, another week has flown by, eh?

There's plenty of Arse action coming up this weekend as the Emirates Cup takes place with games against Juventus and Real Madrid. Certainly a good test for the squad and, with the games on TV, a chance for us to have a proper look at the likes of Vela and Nasri, and to assess the rest of the lads in terms of fitness etc.

With the manager saying he's still looking for one player he explained his signing of Amaury Bischoff, calling it a 'gamble'. He says the player is talented but will two or three months to get fully fit. Let's think about him again in two or three months then.

Jens Lehmann has warned Emmanuel Adebayor against leaving Arsenal, saying:

If you look at every player who has left Arsenal, he has not managed to shine again at his new club. I joined Stuttgart this summer — but it is different for me, because I am a goalkeeper and I am also 38 years old.

Arsene is insistent that the Togonator will be staying as well so now it's all down to the player. Work hard, score goals, don't cause any ructions, and life won't be too difficult for him at all. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see what his head is like and if he's going to let the fact he made himself look like a proper chump affect him.

William Gallas has ruled out any move to PSG and says he's looking forward to the new season with Arsenal. He's also spoken about the transfer business so far this summer, saying:

At Arsenal we totally trust Arsene Wenger and even if we haven’t signed lots of players, we have enormous quality in the group, with youngsters that don’t stop improving and more experienced ones who bring their knowledge of football.

Just imagine what adding an experienced, quality player to our midfield would do then? I really do think we're very close to having a title challenging squad. I just hope we get the kind of player in who will make a difference and provide that statement of intent.

Today sees the draw for the 3rd qualifying round of the Champions League. We're in the pot, obviously, and while there's the usual mix of teams that you would expect us to beat there are potentially some tricky opponents there as well. Atletico Madrid, Galatasaray and Dinamo Kiev are ones to be avoided.

Update: It's Steve McClaren and FC Twente! 

The Online Gooner takes Ian Wright to task, and rightly so, for some rather crass comments he made in the Sun.

You'll notice a lot of stories this morning about the Rat-faced chav talking about how much he wants to play against Arsenal after his move from Blackburn to Sp*rs. He's trying to set himself up as some kind of pantomime villain and it's a measure of his ego that he thinks we'd waste our time hating someone as irrelevant as he is.

OleOle Fantasy Football - there's an Arseblog league set up under the English Premier League game. Just register for the Fantasy Football game and join the league arseblogprem, the password for which is arseblog. I should be able to add some code so we can display the league stats on the homepage here and as well as being in for the overall OleOle prizes there'll be an individual Arseblog prize too. Get cracking.

Right, Arsecast time, and on today's show I chat to the Man from East Lower about everything that's been going on in pre-season and beyond. The man in the bar has a player history, there's a tale of the unexpected, Arsene Wenger Hawkins is back and there's the usual guff too.

To subscribe to the Arsecast in iTunes simply click here, the direct feed URL is here, to download this week's arsecast directly - click here (16mb MP3). You can find the arsecast archives here. And you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

Enjoy, see you tomorrow.

Well, yesterday was certainly an interesting day with a match, a look at new boy Nasri and a new signing which sparked plenty of debate.

Let's start with the football and a 3-1 win over Stuttgart continued our pre-season preparations (Arsenalist has the goals and highlights). The first half was pretty dull but it gave a run out to Adebayor and van Persie up front and those 45 minutes will have done them some good. The Dutchman looked far sharper than his erstwhile colleague. Gallas started at the back alongside Djourou, Denilson in midfield with Eboue of all people, while Nasri and Walcott started on the flanks.

From what we saw of Nasri he looks quick, moves well, likes to have a shot (which is an obvious improvement on Hleb) and he can take a decent corner. I can remember Jens having to make a couple of good saves in the first half. The goals came in the second half though. Bendtner had come on and you could see what the previous couple of games had done for him. He looked quick, sharp and strong and he made the difference.

After we had gone behind it was he who ran and played a lovely ball through to Carlos Vela who took it wide and finished from a tight angle. The same two combined again for the second. Bendtner playing it into Vela, taking the return with his head and tucking it away smartly. I know he's had his critics but I think with regular playing time he could score a lot of goals in the season ahead.

The third came after typically tenacious work from Gael Clichy down our left. His cross came to Jack Wilshere, who was impressive in his short cameo, and his left footed finish was very nice indeed. Probably not the kind of scoreline Jens was hoping for against us but there you go. It's about our pre-season and it seems to be progressing very nicely.

And while we keep stressing there's not too much to be read into these games it's good to see some of the younger players really take their chances. Vela looks very useful indeed and Bendtner I've mentioned above. Walcott too looked quick and direct and while I've been very impressed with young Jack I think we need to bear in mind he's just gone 16 and we'd do well not to raise expectations too high. Let's give him time and let's keep the pressure off him.

Afterwards, and speaking about strikers, the boss said:

We're not as short of strikers as people thought. Vela is integrating very well into the team and Bendtner was already a force at the end of last season . . . and he will confirm that this year. Overall, we are still maybe one player short. But up front we don't need anybody.

Can't argue with that although I don't think we needed a striker anyway, now that Adebayor appears to be staying anyway. It's midfield where most of us think we need the signing and yesterday's news that we had signed Amaury Bischoff was met with ...erm... not much excitement? Is that fair?

His name was linked with us a a few weeks back and on the face of it, it seems like a typical Wenger signing. Nobody's ever heard of him, he has some French heritage, nobody's ever heard of him and he's cheap. It's hard to work out why we've bought him though. His professional record amounts to one professional game for Werder Bremen, and that was 16 minutes as a substitute. He's not a kid either. He's 21 years of age, compare the amount of games Cesc or Nasri or Walcott (by the time he's 21) have played and it seems most odd indeed.

I suppose if he's a cheap gamble who is not being counted on for the first team but who might play the odd Carling Cup game then there's no real problem with his signing. What has people worried is the idea that this might be the one signing Arsene Wenger was talking about. With some time having passed and being a little less cranky and full of wine as I was yesterday, I can't see that being the case. We're short in central-midfield, no question about it. You only have to look at the fact we played Eboue in there last night. Where is Diaby this pre-season? Injured, probably, which just about sums him up.

Perhaps Bischoff will surprise us all and turn out to be another gem unearthed by the boss. Perhaps he might establish himself as a decent squad player. Perhaps though, we're looking at another Alberto Mendez or Stefan Malz. And if I had to put money on it now I think that's where it would be going. I still think we'll make a signing in midfield simply because it's obvious to everyone that we need to. There are plenty of Arsenal sites out there, many of us differ in opinion, but I think this must be something everyone agrees on. And if it's obvious to us surely, surely, it's obvious to the boss.

Speaking of midfielders it looks like we're in for quite the windfall from the sale of David Bentley. Reports this morning suggest we could make as much as £7m from the deal which really is a brilliant bit of business. And Bentley confirms his status as a proper little cunt by joining Sp*rs. He'll probably be joined by Arshavin who has always dreamed of Barcelona, would love to play for Arsenal but is settling for them because nobody else wants him. I bet it will have always been his dream to follow in Rebrov's footsteps and let's hope he does exactly that.

Cesc talks about that game at Birmingham and while he says Gallas is a 'great' captain and says he has a lot of respect for him, he also says he's ready to take over the armband. You already know what I think about that so there's no point me going on about it. To me though it's telling that he references the Birmingham game. I know that it wasn't all Gallas that day, that the players would have been affected by what happened to Eduardo and the blow of the late penalty, but my point is that someone with real leadership skills would have dragged them out of that slump much more quickly.

Manuel Almunia says he has a lot of respect for Jens Lehmann but then makes it very clear that he's enjoying life without him. When he says himself, Fabianski and Mannone are three 'very nice guys' it doesn't take much to work out what he means.

And that's about it. The squad return to London to prepare for the Emirates Cup this weekend. They'll hook up with Kolo and Cesc ahead of the games against Real Madrid and Juventus which will provide more good tests for us, bearing in mind, of course, that their pre-season preparations are a week or two behind ours.

All the same I'm looking forward to seeing the games, they are on TV right? Final thought - the new away kit looks fucking brilliant, eh?

Till tomorrow.

A few bits and pieces to keep us going this morning.

I suppose we'll start with the Amaury Bischoff thing. According the player he's going to join us to play in the reserves having failed to make a single start for Werder Bremen in his time at the German club. I think much of that was due to injury rather than ability.

Still, I can't help thinking this is a very odd signing if it happens. We've just bought Aaron Ramsey, Arsene spoke at the end of last season about Fran Merida and what high hopes he had for him, and we already have Cesc, Gilberto, Diaby, Denilson and Alex Song competing for central midfielder. When you read about highly rated Henri Lansbury being given a professional contract it does seem rather strange to bring in a player to 'get in the way', so to speak.

On the other hand he's free, he doesn't cost anything, there will be no charge for him, he comes gratis, we don't have to pay a transfer fee and we get him for nothing, so if he does turn out to be a decent player then all well and good. I'm still struggling to understand why we'd sign a reserve though. Oh well.

Interesting news this morning that AC Milan have apparently pulled out of the Adebayor 'race' and will instead focus their attention on Ronaldinho. Ronaldinho obviously plays for Barcelona and the Catalan club has spent big already this summer. They've brought in Caceres, Dani Alves, Gerard Pique, Keita from Sevilla and another young centre half called Henrique and the total cost of that is over €80m. They need to sell to be able to buy. If they sell Ronaldinho to AC Milan then they get some cash to add to the Deco and Zambrotta sales which will enable them to spend some more. And it's likely Adebayor will be subject to a bid at that stage.

Pascal Cygan says he's heard that Arsenal are after his Villarreal teammate Marcos Senna. The Cyganator was on his way out of the Spanish club until Barcelona bought Caceres and he'll now stay another year. The Senna thing? Who knows.

The Sun has a little report on Eduardo and his recovery. They've got some shots of him on the beach and some close-ups of his scarring but the main thing is when he's due back. They quote Eduardo, saying:

I am returning to Europe from Brazil at the beginning of August, perhaps even the end of July. Doctors tell me by then I will be fully recovered and able to play football again. I hope so too.

And that is truly excellent news. How amazing that despite his horrific injury he might be back playing before Rosicky.

Chairman PHW talks about Stan Kroenke's possible involvement with the club at board level. In a fairly obvious shot at Fat from Fat&Orange, he says:

He is quiet, not ostentatious in any way. He could be a very good ally and colleague. There is some logic in him getting close to us. He is a sensible man who is a sportsperson and has got some expertise in his business and that has helped him to develop a fanbase there.

Reading between the lines here I think what the Chairman is saying is that it's good that Kroenke doesn't smell like a bucket of goat corpses covered in cat shit, that's been left out in the summer sun, due to his intense corpulence and the fact he's a hideous, disgusting, fat cunt of a Man United fan. At least that's what I'm taking from it.

Which makes sense. Hopefully on the Arsecast this week I'll be chatting to the AST who went out to Colorado to meet Kroenke, so we can get some more info from them about the man and his intentions regarding Arsenal.

Finally, for those of you despairing that we haven't announced the signing of Samir Nazzzzzzzri yet, or generally in a tizzy about transfers, have a read of Goonerholic today. I'm trying to imagine what it would have been like if we'd had the internet back in those days. I think it would have snapped clean in half with the amount of shit people would have talked about that particular deal. 

And there you go. The sun in shining and it looks like we've got summer again. Hurrah!

Oh, wait. It was just a break in the clouds. Carry on.