Fantasy Football: All Hail the Underpants!

If only the team had been picked for the opening Saturday of the season.

I write, of course, of my second eleven in the Squadgod AVFC Blog group — Dave Webb’s Underpants. Don’t be fooled: they may be sitting in a lowly 84th place in the league, but cast a glimpse at the “points per game”, and with 141 you have champions in the making. Watch your back, Dutchie — the Underpants are coming after you.

The meteoric rise of the Underpants tells a completely different story to the slow, steady climb up the table of The Doc’s Dimwits, originally selected as my first eleven. Now nudging the top 50, the steady but unflamboyant Dimwits have Never Mind the Ballacks now firmly in their sights and, with new signing Adebayor, are targeting Big Ron’s Sunglasses for 34th place over the next fortnight. Dimwitted — it’s the way to go.

I must admit to having a soft spot for Retard Picnic, my team name of the season. But what’s in a name? Not much, to judge by their pathetic showing in 257th place.

Still throwing jelly at each other, I reckon. Mind you, a healthy tally at the weekend and they might just slobber past Damian’s AVFC Blog Eleven, struggling along (snigger) in a mighty 213th place. Get your finger out, Damian.

Selecting Cesc Fabregas as captain is a pretty good idea at the moment (without wishing to give too much away), and that was the driving force behind Hairy Hatman’s Allstars glittering 198 points this week.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of Felch F.C., lumbering along at an average points per game of 43. Of Felch’s squad, only five players have returned a positive contribution, and of them only two (Richard Dunne and Paul Scholes) have made it into double figures. Time for some serious transfer action, Felchy. Right now.

Tips for next week (completely biased):

Dave Webb’s Underpants hit 60th.
The Doc’s Dimwits go 40th.

Bring it on.