The Doc's Diary: What's wet, wet, wet in Bulgarian?

No, I'm not suggesting that Stan is in any way limp-wristed. Far from it: during the last three outings he's got progressively better - and a lot of that has been driven by aggression and determination.

But here's one for you: is Stan Petrov the sweatiest Villa player ever? It may not seem an important point, but it is one that we need to clear up.

We're not talking droplets here. No way. We're worlds away from dampness. Even rivulets don't capture it. After only five minutes of a game, Stan is completely drenched and there is a permanent river of fluid flowing from the bottom of his chin and darkening his newly-regained first team claret shirt.

I've lost some sleep over this. Maybe he's one of those players who likes to regularly drench himself with his water bottle? If so, I haven't spotted it. Maybe he's sneaked in a few cheeky ones before the game? We have a couple of mightily distinguished ex-players who may well have been accused of that - but clean living Stan? I don't think so...

So we are talking pure bodily fluids here, if you'll forgive me for getting biological.

I'm sure Bulgaria is hotter than Glasgow or Birmingham, so it can't be the climate.

This is my theory, and - believe me - it's been keeping me awake at nights: I think during his low period when the Holte End was rightfully getting on the boy's back, Martin O'Neill called Stan into his office and spoke to him. "Stan - you're a good player. But Gardner, Osbourne and Reo-Coker are doing well. If you want to get back into the side as first choice, you're going to have to work harder. I need to see you sweat."

Stan - don't take it so literally. You're a hard-working player - we all know that.

So why is Stan so stunningly sweaty? What can it be? Has he got some sort of device located under his (presumably highlighted) barnet?

Let me know what you think...I can't figure it out.

Is Stan simply the sweatiest ever Villan?