Bile; be seeing you in all the old familiar places...
Tuesday, 12 May 09, 06:06 PM · Comments (44)
A sage once said, “Faced with such immensities, my mind falls back on contemplating the simple.”
Well confronted with such immensities, I fall back on contemplating the simple minded.
This gives you a flavour, as if you needed it, of the sort of one-eyed bilge that’s passed for journalism this past week, coupled with a complete absence of irony or attempt to keep a sense of proportion about the whole thing.
Look at this, a journalist (Millwall fan) writes about Chelsea...
Look at this, Millwall fans in action...
Pitch invasion casts a shadow over Millwall win
Look at this, Millwall Football Club complain about journalists writing about their fans. Seen our club doing that?
Millwall criticise media 'agenda'
Look at this – professional footballer swears on telly and gets pilloried a lot for it...
Ofcom investigating Drogba's Sky rant
Look at this – ex-professional footballer swears on telly and gets paid a lot for it...
Gordon Ramsay swears every 20 seconds
(By the way, see CFCnet for a great rant at Channel 4 when they rang up for an interview.)
Media tells us “Man goes into hiding”.
“Man in hiding” tells media he isn’t.
Yes I know the victors get to write history but in this case, because we may not be too good with Spanish or Catalan, the goodly men and Amy Lawrence of the 4th Estate have leaped in to the breach, aided by the vast swathes of “neutral” fans ready to chuck in their two bob’s worth as well.
Surprisingly, the age of the interweb has done little to scatter the homogeneity of public discourse and shared memory, which is so much a part of building accepted myths. With the good weather encouraging DIY enthusiasts these days, it’s been difficult to walk around and not to expect every sound of nail on wood to mean that just around the corner a scaffold is being constructed on which Drogba, Ballack and their craven familiars (you and me) will be publicly dismembered to the howls of the baying mob.
Every new article forms another page in a new “Maleficium Maleficarum” compiled by football’s modern day Inquisition seeking to persecute those who will not follow their regimented orthodoxy.
A number of websites refer to the Oxford English Dictionary’s assertion that the first metaphorical use of the term “Witch Hunt” is in George Orwell’s “Homage to Catalonia”. I have neither the time nor the inclination to check this but have to lie back for a moment and luxuriate in the delicious irony.
Now if I wanted to sit and listen to some spittle flecked, gobshite preaching God fearing decency, railing against the corruption of children, the imminent destruction of moral values and an end to civilisation, I thought I’d have to get myself down to one of those tin shack chapels in West Virginia where everybody’s waiting, arms outstretched, for the Second Coming and the moment of “Rapture”. But no, I can listen to Alan Green and Radio 5 Live.
Maybe it’s because I’m a “left footer” and spent my youth cultivating a severe distrust of the Rev. Ian Paisley, but when Green gets into full flow about the iniquities of the modern game, I’m back to black and white TV, men in sashes and bowler hats “walking the Queen’s Highway” and the pulpit taking a fearsome pounding. Fundamentalism was ever part of our fabric.
Now, there were three groups of people entitled to lose their focus and any sense of balanced and sensible viewpoint on Wednesday night. Chelsea fans, Barcelona fans and anyone with enough nous to have seen how one of the finest football teams of this, or indeed any decade, had been denied a proper chance to contest the game.
Chelsea, we are informed, embody the concept of anti-football. What’s that? You send two footballs opposite ways around the Large Hadron Collider and when they smash into each other at 50 billion miles an hour you get “anti-football”? I have read God knows how much ill-informed toot this week, a lot of it in comment columns, and never once seen a definition. Football is played with the feet and the head. Anti-football must therefore be played with the hands. So who’s really anti-football? Go figure.
From what I’ve seen Barcelona may well suffer from that well known footballing syndrome, “All fur coat and no knickers”. Our coat may be a little less glamorous but under Guus, we’ve never been seen in anything less than good quality pants that lend support in all the right places, (except when Bolton or Liverpool came to town and we inexplicably reached for a G-string that would do a better job as dental floss).
In years gone by, one would buy a newspaper, listen to the radio and watch a bit of TV. After taking some stick from friends and work colleagues you could find a small, quiet space where the world couldn’t touch you. All that has changed in the digital age. You can access everyone and everyone can access you.
Well, maybe not. As my mother always says, “The greatest invention next to television is the knob that turns it off.” The same goes for the humble computer. And yet, and yet and yet... why do I do this to myself? Like some hollow-eyed crack addict I know it’s out there, I must get my fix and go crawling back to the keyboard.
You tell yourself, as the final whistle blows, that you will not read, listen or watch any of the very predictable hogwash that will follow on from the game. Days later you reel away from the cheap hackery of yet another worthless journo. Filled with self loathing, you will yourself into trying to get your life back together and to start caring about really important things, like it’s Sunday and you were supposed to collect the children from school on Friday. (Err... hope they haven’t been fretting and had something left in their lunch boxes. Do they do survival training in Nursery and Reception? They don’t? Why not? Jesus I should have let them stay up and watch Ray Mears on Bushcraft.)
But just before you run to get them, you have take one more quick look at the comments that follow the annoyingly rubbish article, in case there may be one sharp, searing, beautiful insight that will transport you to a place of cool, running springs and balmy, healing breezes.
It always starts with a few decent comments, some not even by Chelsea fans, but quickly the heavy pontificators, the bar-room intellectuals, the self-loving smart arses, those who care only for the “beauty” of the game and the turgid, purblind halfwits who pass for other teams’ football fans, all pile in.
Singularly unencumbered by original thought as they all are, you soon tire of scrolling down and suddenly, confronted by almost universal hatred, despised by what appears to be the entire, seething, unwashed, foul-breathed mass of humanity, you suddenly realise that you deeply, deeply hate the whole suppurating, puss-filled, running sore that passes for the world of football (outside of our beloved club).
It is only hours later when, arraigned before the magistrate for allegedly charging into your local fast food emporium, armed to the teeth with semi-automatic weaponry screaming “You motherf*****g whoreson bitches don’t deserve the steam off Drogba’s piss to clear your filthy MancScouseScummy snot infested nostrils”, that you have to cough and politely request bail because you have to collect your children from school and “Yes m’lud I know it’s a Sunday, they’re... erm... getting extra tuition... erm... erm...”
So I’m going to stop torturing myself. I’m going to stop reading, listening to and watching this shite. I read the match reports where the majority felt we had very far from the rub of the green. Then I’ve watched as it gradually evolved from:
“Well it affected both sides evenly”
to:
“Well the ref did a good job and anyway Chelsea should have been down to two men and losing 14-0 in the Nou Camp. It was that ref who was useless not good ol’ Tom...”
Finally we arrive at a general agreement that somehow, in a strangely twisted moral construct, assembled with the skill and integrity of a cowboy roofer, Chelsea richly deserved to get shafted, particularly as some players dared to get a bit upset.
No-one got punched, there was no pitch invasion but hey let’s not keep any sense of balance. Ban us from Europe why don’t you? If we want to be treated leniently and be fined a couple of bob, then we should limit ourselves to a bit of racist chanting, a couple of stabbings, a pitch invasion, assorted bribery and assaults upon sundry ground staff.
It’s interesting. You have to catch the retelling just at the moment of its birth, on the cusp and you almost get something near a version of the truth. As time passes, the bias, the spin, the excessive moralising takes control. Then the sheep come trotting in, regurgitating the phrases, the ideas that Lacey, Barclay, Lawton et al have been coaching into them with for years.
Why their fury? I suppose our being very competitive was bad enough for the so-called “neutrals”. Exposing Barca’s flaws was tantamount to heresy and going far too close to winning, while also being patently robbed by poor refereeing, unleashed a fury and outbreak of moral indignation not seen since the judges went after John Sargeant on Strictly Come Dancing. They had to deny us any crumb of comfort. Stamp out any vestige of a feeling that we might have been the better team on the night.
The temperature of the reaction is indicative of some dark and disturbing vacuum at the epicentre of the so-called “neutral”. It was like opening the front door and having a million people bellowing their unfiltered rage straight at you. It beggared belief. A reaction wholly out of step with the events that were witnessed.
As I say, we have to accept the nonsense or sensible comment of Barca fans, that’s all part of the contest. But the rest of it? What was it all about?
Do we dedicate whole days to debating games between other clubs and spewing garbage that endlessly repeats tired old clichés? The Poo, for example, do. Like shrivelled old widows, they contemplate the power, the skill, the athleticism, the passion of our players, the passion of us fans and something stirs in their dried and shrivelled nether regions. They think they remember how it should be done but secretly they worry that even though thoroughly lubricated with Yankee dollars, the equipment is going to let them down.
They all talk about class, how we lack class. Class? Define it to me please?. ‘Cause sure as shit flies off a shiny shovel, somewhere along the line they will always fail their own poorly thought out benchmark and be exposed for the hypocrites they are.
But I will still feel sorry for whoever blubbers on our screens as they hurtle into relegation. I will still feel sorry for those fans whose team stumbles at the last hurdle for promotion. They may well have been laughing like drains at us the other night but well, some of us still have it in us to feel empathy, understanding. I feel sorry for Norwich and their fans. God, in some small corner of my “waxy pea-sized heart” (to quote another Chelsea-hating Milwall fan) I feel for Charlton and Southampton. Christ on a bike, I even emitted a small squeak of sympathy for Liverpool fans the other week because while we had got what we wanted I had watched a riveting footballing contest and thought ”Well fair play to them.”
And I’m no saint. I’m no different to any other man on the Clapham Omnibus. There were some who offered the genuine hand of fellow feeling the other night, many more probably wished us well and prayed it wouldn’t happen to them. But they were drowned out by the torch-wielding mob that assailed the castle of Chelsea’s self esteem. Talk about the football, the tactics, the events, but spare us the scales of justice and retribution please?
You see deep down I know that all fans can be tossed on the stormy oceans of sporting fate and there but for the grace of God go I... in fact I have just gone haven’t I? So maybe it’s time to harden my heart and laugh at the despair etched on the face of any sad sack whose dreams are in tatters. Vilify any player who strays from the passionless, android-like state our media and the game’s masters now demand. Time to become a “real” football fan.
No I can’t really do that, I don’t know why.
But I won’t be feeling sorry for either of the mobs in Rome. Even the bottom of my generously dimensioned barrel of human feelings can be scraped, provided someone holds you by the ankles while you reach in over the edge.
Indeed part of me will laugh an empty laugh should the Dream Final develop into a turgid borefest and once again we are called upon to acclaim the Mancs enviable ability to squeak a win in Europe’s major trophy final, while being far from the best team on the night. Down there in Munich a rueful smile will tell you they are thinking the same thing.
(Right I think I got that off my chest, now has anyone seen a couple of small children waiting outside this school since Friday?)
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44 Comments · Add yours
What I find so cringe worthy about the media coverage is that it they don't have the balls to admit that they have an agenda.If you raise it with them they try to insinuate you are paranoid and say all clubs supporters feel the same way about their club's coverage. You would think someone out there would have the courage,integrity and above all intelligence to recognise and admit to what is going on and take an alternative view.Is it really necessary for them all to try and indoctrinate the masses .What happened to balance fairness and alternative views.The coverage has become so ridiculous that friends who support other clubs are commenting on it.Frankly they are an embarrassment to their profession.I and I am sure thousands of others now boycott certain papers who are particularly over the top and so it doesn't make commercial sense for them to continue their campaign(nobody buys a paper bacause they are negative towards chelsea).Do you think if a club in any other country had been the victim of such a scandalous refereeing performance they would have been attacked by their own press for protesting about it.The truth is there are serious questions which should be asked of uefa concerning the appointment and performance of the referee but these are being raised in other countries rather than here.Instead we are fed a diet of how the ref fled the country fearing for his life(since denied by him and the police),how Drogba and Ballack should be punished for showing a lack of respect to an official who did more to bring the game into disrepute than the players could ever do. I can't recall such a poor performance by a referee in all my time watching the sport it was inexplicable.Is it too much to expect the media might seek an explanation from uefa. We should encourage a boycott of certain newspapers and radio stations and let the parasites know what we think of them when they come to the bridge.'you can stick your papers up your arse' would be an appropriate chant
Great blog BB thought provoking, and honest as per usual. And George, very good post and totally agree with you. I stopped buying newspapaers many years ago, but as BB mentioned with the new digital age, one can't help clicking those links that raise your blood pressure.
A very good friend of mine who is a Utd supporter, rang me straight after the game and just said "Travesty" as he normally rings up to give me a ribbing if we're on the wrong end of a result. We know there are sensible footballing fans out there, even though we tend to attract the idiots from other clubs on here.
Anyway, the sense of injustice remains, but it's a little easier to live with, and of course I look forward to our big day out on the 30th.
Bi-polar isn't a state of mind, it's a way of life as a Chelsea fan.
Marvellous stuff BB. Another example of what lifts this blog above the usual bile filled blogs for other teams.
@ Clive, the minute you decide upon Chelsea is the minute you sign up for bi-polarity.
@ BB Absolutely fucking spot on. This has been going on for 4 years, ever since they woke up to the act that 2004-5 might not be a one off. Liddle and Barclay in particular are complete and utter cunts.
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Totally agree....The quality on this blog is streets ahead of the vast majority of Chelsea Chat sites on the web.
Whilst it is always going to be 'blue-eyed', I like to think that most of the contributors to the Chelsea Blog can at least see the alternative position on most subjects, rather than just the usual 'my team's better than your team' bleatings of most team sites and the Chelsea bashing that the Press seem to believe everyone wants to read..
Terrific piece BB.
I wish we as a club would react like Millwall on these occasions and give the hacks a piece of our mind, but we're too busy apologising to Uefa for almost ruining the advertisers' dream final.
'They may well have been laughing like drains at us the other night but well, some of us still have it in us to feel empathy, understanding.'
This for me says it all. Reading the comments on websites, you do have to wonder whether these people are real football fans as we understand it – that is people who go to games and get excited and scream in frustration, happiness and despair. Because the lack of empathy in their reactions is astounding. I mean, we get called 'plastics' yet they are the ones acting like androids.
Perhaps the reaction of 'neutrals' also shows the essentially reactionary nature of all football supporters (comments in the Guardian were almost identical to those in the Mail). They hate change, and that is what we represent. They don't see the bigger picture - that Uefa have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo which bodes ill for all ambitious football clubs.
The notion that the media narrative slowly changes - from Chelsea were unlucky to Chelsea were lucky and should be banned - is very true.
I read loads of journalists and supporters saying 'At least this spares us another Chelsea-Manchester United final' as if, a) last year's final wasn't an absolute terrific game; b) Chelsea haven't served up three of the best games in the Champions League this season; c) Manchester United-Barcelona last season weren't two of the worst games ever seen. It's almost Orwellian in the way it happens (Caitlin Moran wrote a piece on Monday in the Times about the way the words 'barbecue summer' have suddenly been slipped into the English language as if this concept has always existed, and it's a similar sort of thing).
Agree with all that BB. And would add this in succinct bullet points for easy graspability (I wish the club had a media relations department half as insightful as this blog);
* Abramovic has increased competition and made the Premiership the best league in the world by investing in Chelsea and raising them to the level of Man Utd. Credit and thanks are due.
* This challenge has increased the performance of Man Utd and Liverpool, leading to Man Utd becoming the best club in world and seriously improving their European performance. Credit and thanks are due.
* Chelsea players flawed reactions to being cheated out of a Champions League final was not - repeat not - as bad as the reactions of Man Utd and Arsenal players to set-backs in previous seasons. Nowhere near it. Also we have never harboured a player like Keane who would deliberately break another players leg and then gloat about it in a book.
* Envy has got the better of the establishment and the football press that is disturbed by change and the challenge to the status quo, reducing them to the level of the most idiotic fans. All bar a few exceptions (Gab Marcotti, Martin Samuels) follow the moronic "they don't deserve it" agenda. Pathetic, myopic, lacking in intelligence and creative thought, they fail football generally and promote a reactionary culture based on dumb myths of historical right. In their world only Man Utd and Liverpool would compete for honours.
We could develop this into an analysis of how having created modern football through exercising financial dominance, Man Utd and the Premier League invited the very conditions that necessitated clubs like Chelsea having to gamble on investment to compete. Which in turn led to the presentation of opportunities to altruistic, football-loving billionaires to take a punt. But we shall save that for another occasion.
On another note. Here's the previously mentioned Gab Marcotti on why Ancelotti would be good for us:
LINK
'We could develop this into an analysis of how having created modern football through exercising financial dominance, Man Utd and the Premier League invited the very conditions that necessitated clubs like Chelsea having to gamble on investment to compete. Which in turn led to the presentation of opportunities to altruistic, football-loving billionaires to take a punt. But we shall save that for another occasion.'
So very, very true. I don't think I've ever read a journalist follow this point, but it's absolutely spot on.
With regard to football journalists, it is important to remember that part of they reason they all act and think alike is that they all hang out together; they're called the rat pack and they help to reinforce each others stereotypes and prejudices (across both tabloid and broadsheet - Barclay is very much part of the pack).
Only a few avoid this - Ian Hawkey of the ST, for instance, because he is based in Barcelona, and Marcotti. Samuel is interesting, he's part of the pack, but very much removed from it ideologically and intellectually.
Gerrard is the football writers player of the year. Fair shout if harsh on Vidic and Lampard.
Reply to PeteW:
Martin Samuel is indeed interesting. When he appears on Sunday Supplement he always comes over as both more informed and more realisitc about today's game, whereas Barclay seems intent on existing inside some sort of nostalgia filled 1950's corinthian spirit bubble, that in truth never existed.
Ask older fans and they'll tell you this rather rose tinted view of football in the past is a figment of imagination based on a Roy of the Rovers/Hot Shot Hamish/Billy's Boots idealism that truthfully only existed in those august publications (weren't they all The Tiger?).
What I will say, as contribuitor to this blog, is that near enough all my posts are reasonably carefully considered and try to be objective and bring balance to what has been said or has happened. I am sure the others are similar. But of course we're not trying to shift newsprint and don't have an autocratic proprietor leaning on us.
One last point...the press and broadcast media have less than subtly shifted from sympathy to vitriol in less than a week........
Bi-polar anyone?
My final point.
Isn't it funny how those reporters who, judging by their previous output, are ill-disposed towards Chelsea are the exact same reporters who pronounce themselves the least convinced by any of our four penalty appeals.
Why, it's almost as if their bias has affected their judgement!
Perhaps they should go and work for Uefa?
Great great piece BB, I'm so proud to be a reader of this bolg, I think it always sets the standards of how a blog should be.
Great writing BlueB and great title!!! "I'll be seeing you" was my wedding dance :-) Good sweet romantic memories.
I am not buying papers and have not got TV in my house, trying not to read any news on the internet and watching football on the internet with Chinese, or any other foreign language, which I do not understand, commentaries.
Journalist is the second ancient profession on the planet with all features of the first one. Politician is someone who's father is a journalist and mother is a whore.
Keep The Blue Flag Flying High!!!!
LINK
Hello all, Great post BB. Just making sure I get the message about my Post on the Drog blog. Of course its about Didier. Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks.
Reply to mike12:
Hi Mike - it looks fine to me, but I suspect like many of the contributors on this blog we'd be reluctant to proffer advice. From my own perspective I am hyper-critical of my own writing and fully understand my 'amateur' status. I think it would be presumptious of me to feel worthy of advising anyone else on the merits of their work.
As for the subject. I am divided on this a bit. However, harping back to a previous posting I made I believe the time for sentiment has gone. We should identify those whose future lies elsewhere, shake their hand and warmly say goodbye (exept to Deco who can just fuck off now). Sadly, for me Didier is one of those. As Sir Purplenose has oft demonstrated, being ruthless is the best and least painless long term solution. We need to build a future, one with a different approach from the Mourinho legacy - and lest we forget we did Ok for a large part of the season without Drogs. He's a great player, a complex man, but also a liability, and I don't see that liability clause disappearing.
I've also posted this on your blog.
i would like drogba to stay. for many reasons.
in the meantime here is something WE can do, regarding the norvegian ass:
LINK
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Thanks CT. And I Seem to agree with you when you say he'll always be a liability.
Brilliant piece! When i first learnt of Athens and Sparta in the 6th grade, i was far more impressed with sparta, still am, actually. Beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder. I'm tired of hearing the nonsense about Barca's beautiful football; if i considered as such, i'd be a Barca fan, but chelsea is my cup of tea.
An excellent, informtive and well written article BB, well done.
However, something else to perhaps consider:
Fast forward to 31st May 2009. If after the FA cup final, we have been defeated on penalties by an Everton display consisting of resolutely defending wave after wave of Chelsea pressure.
Does anyone think that the Sunday papers will filled with headlines vilifing them as the new proponants of anti-football and declaring it a travesty of footballing justice that defensive football has won the day? Or, do you think the headlines will read more along the lines of "heroic Everton hold back the tide" or "Glory for Everton as dominance of big four broken".
I think everyone knows the answer to this.
Obviously, I hope this doesn't happen and Chelsea emerge victorious from a free flowing game of football. However, after their visit to the Bridge it would be no surprise to see Everton play for pens (and i'd have no particular problem with those tactics), and i'm sure the press will manage to pass us off as the bad guys then too.
Also, Martin Samuel is the only journalist I will go out of my way to read. His articles are always of a balanced and well argued nature, even if I don't always agree with what he has to say.
Reply to mike12:
Hi Mike, it is a great post. However, may be, I stress again MAY BE, as it is up to you, you should contact Nick and write your stuff on this blog? This way your posts will get more attention and feedback from blogers and we might find in you another constant contributor.
LINK
Well, we all were expecting it. I do not know if it true or not.
O.k, so I hate the continual speculation as the transfer merry-go-round gets started as yet another season grinds to a halt.
But if Max really has offered £15m 'take it or leave it' for David Silva LINK , I'd happily chip in say £100 to make it £15,000,100.00 for us to secure him. Technically not many better players out there - £15m would be an absolute steal. Maybe we could offer Drogs, Sheva and Deco for the other David as well.....
"Football is played with the feet and the head. Anti-football must therefore be played with the hands. So who’s really anti-football? Go figure."
Quality.
Well put BB - as I said on the last blog we face another summer of journalists spouting 90% made-up crap and 10% fact-based news.
On reflection that was probably a bit generous and 5% might be closer to reality but I reiterate my advice that however tempted you feel to click that link, for the sake of your blood pressure and sanity severely ration your intake.
I'm hoping to find a cure for my mini-obsession with the perpetual ravings of Galliani who seems to be starting a double act with Berlusconi quite early this summer. Interesting that a number of papers are now claiming Ancelotti has already signed a pre-contract agreement to join us while he continues to deny he's going anywhere ... see I'm getting sucked in again already, nurse, the screens......
Reply to Blue_MikeL:
I was thinking of that and I will surely contact Nick when the CONFED Cup is going (I'm living in South Africa)to maybe sum up what's going n down here.
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Dear Chelsea Tony,
Your are a very disappointing man that the heart has ever had. Why were you cheering Drogba when he got you all these trophies. All trophies in Mourinho era, he did score the winner and the crucial goals in the league! Only a word can epitomise your attitude: INGRATITUDE! Liability because he defended your f*** Jersey. I am not surprised that people qualify Chelsea supporters of glory hunters. You thought you did OK during his abscence. Then, why Scolari has been sacked!
If you think you should depart from Mourinho era, then you should make a plea for the selling of Terry, cech and Lampard, too. You simply do not like The Drogs, you're entitled to but much of your opinions are worth as nothing.
To all Chelsea fans willing or calling for the back of Drogs, please do not cheer when he's gonna bring you the FA Cup 2009!
I think Chelsea will turn into an even worse Real Madrid because their fans are greed, ingrate and insane!!!!
I hope that you contradict my arguments because Chelsea fans do not have this savoir faire, unfortunately!
I wish the Drogs to go Real or other big teams and come bit you back at the Bridge.
I DON'T SEE YOU WINNING THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE ANYTIME SOON. so it will be better for him to move away from ingrate and insane fans should he want to win Champions League. You good for Semi-final, but not good enough for the title:p
Afternoon All
Heartened to see my ravings have provided some measure of entertainment and yet at the same time stimulated and educated in equal measure. Perhaps I should apply to Ofcom and become BBC (slicked down hair, received pronunciation, dinner jacket and bow tie). You can all send the licence fee to me then. Wont that be lovely.
@DB
Very good point about how if they raise the bar financially they can’t complain when clubs have to spend big to elbow their way to the top table. Hadn’t thought about it that way, but you make perfect sense.
Interesting about Ancellotti. I have been sort of against him, but then you never know, I think he’d be better than Rijkard, maybe I’m wavering, oh who knows (throws up hands).
@PeteW
Agree with you all the way. And isn’t some of the match reporting particularly, a bit like the old Parliamentary lobby system, where they all seem to pool their thoughts and then all report from the same angle?
@ Fiftee
Last year Claire Spottyface (the peoples representative or some such title) wrote and told me I was going to get maybe 1500 quid when they divvied up the Orphan Funds at Norwich Union/Aviva so the shareholders and the company could walk off with the rest i.e. megabucks. After 3 years of cocking about they had came to some agreement. Now I hear we policyholders are going to get next to sod all due to the credit crunchy. So take this post to your boss, (if, as I hope you are still employed there) as my permission to take my measly couple of hundred quid out of the safe and chuck on top of your 15.0001million just to nail the deal shut. I tell you what as this is football and you’re doing a bit of legwork to get to the safe, take £20 (10%) for yourself as an agent’s fee.
@Blue Mikel #15
That made me laugh out loud.
Ooops better get this posted as I’ve just seen comment #28 – (gets tin hat on - “Fire in the hole!”)
Reply to Visitor:
Ah. the Trolls are out early this evening.
@ Blue Bayou
Splendid stuff, sir. Some very relevant points raised; the financial 'bar raising' row has cropped up on here in years gone by when we were spending big - one particular Liverpool fan used to get terribly angsty about our wealth but could never accept that whilst the Moores family, Martin Edwards and the like made hay during their own cash rich years, they created the financial monster in the game and as is ever the case, a bigger beast is always likely to appear and usurp you at some point.
The issue has certainly raised the blood of us blogging types; Tony has a piece on the way, I'm following with my four penneth at the end of the week...!
Reply to Visitor:
Words fail me. Yet another example of UC (copyright) KJ_II)
Hello world. This is my first post on here, though I have been a devotee of the blog for quite some time. I am, as you may guess, an American. For us, soccer/football is not an automatic love, like baseball, basketball or, well, football. It's an acquired taste, something that ferments over time, like malt liquor. Not classy like wine, not common like beer, but unique and different and, well, in the US, kinda of fruity. But I digress.
I came to Chelsea by accident, the way many of us Yanks come to European soccer. A friend of mine was living in London in the late '90s and I was visiting. We were looking for an excuse to drink, so we bought a couple tix for Chelsea v Sunderland, which I believe was the first game of that season (maybe '99?). It was a beautiful day, we started drinking early, I purchased a scarf on the way into the game, and the rest, as they say, is history. Chelsea won handily that day (4-0, I believe) and although I couldn't name a single player on the squad, I was hooked. Completely, irrevocably, hooked. Yet as good as the years were for the squad after that match, I never felt I "deserved" to be a fan; I hadn't suffered the anguish required of a true devotee.
Which brings me to the reason for my post. The past two Champs league seasons have brought me closer to the squad than I ever have been in the past. I now follow them more closely than just about any American sport (college football excepted, of course). Last Wednesday, watching at the British Embassy here in beautiful Baghdad, I couldn't bring myself to accept what had happened. We lost; but it brought me that much closer to my team.
Not much consolation, especially for those of you following the team for 30 years. But of such things champions are made, and from such experiences are we brought closer to the things we love. An irrational love, yes, but one that causes heartache, pain and joy all the same.
Sorry for the rambling nature of this post, but KTBFFH!!!
Reply to BlueBayou:
Checked in earlier and the >>Next Post>> thingy wasn't there so I got on and did some stuff.
Realized that something was up when I noticed the time, did another refresh and...
Anyway reading your post has proved to be a just and timely reward for an exceptionally productive day.
Splendid!
Like many another football fan, there are always those teams whose progress you “follow” for very logical or more likely completely nonsensical reasons. It doesn’t make or break your mental or spiritual sense of well being, but to see them do well gives one a little lift and perhaps when you have an idle hour you trawl around to see what they’re all about or not as the case may be.
I won’t bother you with the why’s and wherefores and only an experienced mental health professional would understand anyway, but here are the teams I tend to look out for.
Italy – Lecce, Torino and whatever team Claudio fetches up at.
Spain – Athletic Bilbao
Dear Old Blighty – Norwich, Exeter, Colchester, Leyton Orient
Sweaty Land - Hibernian
If Hungarian teams get back into Europe I’d always give them a cheer
I keep an eye out for MK Dons only ‘cause Roberto and Steady Eddie are there and I hope they move on to a more established club so I don’t feel so uneasy about it.
From time to time I even try and keep tabs on Dapper Dan and yes the Joker over there in Belgrade.
Anyway as fate would have it Athletic are taking on Barca tonight in the Spanish Cup Final at the Mestella (happy memories there for us eh!). I’ll be there in spirit. Last week has no bearing on my desire for the Basques to come out on top. Honest guv it was always going to be that way.
I should have thought about it earlier but if enough people were interested we could have hired a coach (I’m referring to the combustion engine here and not the Hiddink question).
Reply to baghdadblue:
Welcome aboard Baghdad Blue and don't apologise for such a succinct explanation of how you fell into Chelsea's ever welcoming bosom.
Everyone has a right to be a true supporter just by virtue of picking Chelsea to follow.
And don't woryy - you will find the next few years will bring ecstacy and heartbreak in equal amounts, in amongst the sheer befuddlement and confusion.
Welcome to BipolarWorld.
Reply to baghdadblue:
Welcome, baghdadblue
Remember that game well; contained this goal, well-established in my all-time favourite Chelsea goals list
LINK
Just hope the link works now...!
BB,
I'm guessing it was an extremely personal letter you received from Claire, probably even signed by her fair hands.
Not.
As a shareholder (as in, someone who holds shares in the company that employs me) I can confirm I've heard absolutely chuff all about what I may or may not be due.
So I'll print your letter, and take it with me at 9.30 Monday morning when I find out what my fate in this once-good institution is. For come 9.45 I could well be cast aside. Fiftee to Norwich Union as Shevchenko is to, well, anyone. Unwanted.
But I'll make good use of your twenty quid. May need it as float if I have to start selling the Big Issue...
URGENT MEDICAL UPDATE
From the desk of Dr Bayou
Colleagues in Norway carrying out research into memory capture technology have leaked me the following results of a brain scan on Mr Ovrebo, the ref from last week. This is how he remembers the match and may go some way to explaining his bizarre behaviour. Note Iniesta’s goal at 48 sec in.
Apologies for the ad at the beginning but they have to raise funds somehow.
LINK
@Fiftee
Possibly facing a similar fate myself. Fingers crossed we can do a Ballack and get another year.
Baghdad Blue, I envy you if that was the game that hooked you on Chelsea. One of the finest games I ever saw. I was on holiday at the time, can't remember where, but sure remember the game. You have just put a big smile back on my face! Ah, the glory days of Gullit, Zola, Poyet, Petrescu, Lebough, Desailly, Vialli etc. mixed with the bite and sheer hooliganism of Wise.
My first games as a supporter was Chelsea loosing to Utd 4-1 in the Cup Final!
And thanks so much KJII for the link.
Cheers,
Mark
Brilliant stuff BB. But as Chelsea fans we have experienced enough heartache for two lives, so we know how to move on, unlike some hacks who seem desperate to unleash their Chelsea hatred at any opportunity.
So looking at the ancelotti story i feel i may be in a minority of one by saying i'm looking forward to his arrival. Of course i'd take Jose back in a heartbeat and would enjoy the rollercoaster ride of having Bilic and his set of ciggies and earrings rock up but Ancelotti does seem a good fit (if he can speak English). He's young enough, only 49, tactically astute having been schooled in Italy and has a good eye in the transfer market. He may be stereotyped as an OAP lover but he's found Seedorf, Pirlo, Kaka, Pato and...Becks. He's also pragmatic, again having been schooled in Italian football where a 1-0 is seen as a great result and when compared to Rijkaard appears a great bet. As Scolari showed we'll never play like Barca or Brazil in a million years and Rijkaard's relaxed, just train how you want to and play like Messi and Ronaldinho, philosophy would prove disastrous. And as the article shows, the transfer stories have started already. So far in the past week i've seen Chelsea buying Kaka, Pirlo, Adebayor, Tevez, Villa, Zlatan and Zhrikov, which i know is all rubbish but i am encouraged that Kenyon is already doing some work in the transfer market. I think he's learnt from the Robinho mistake and will want to wrap up our 5 in, 5 out plus one or two superstars policy before we head off to America on pre-season.
So all in all it'll be sad when Guus leaves, but bring on Ancelotti. He wears a suit after all which means he must be a success like Jose and Guus.
some new information regardin christiano ronaldo's confused personality:
LINK
LOL!
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
The link worked fine, but who were the team in blue?
Wonderful touch and movement full of skill and vision, and finished in the true spirit of the beautiful game.
Can't have been Chelsea, just ask almost any hack with a keyboard.
Can't have been Chelsea, also, because it was before our Russian owner's arrival, just ask M. Platini.
Welcome Bahgdad Blue, great to hear from faraway lands. Having personally watched Chelsea suffer relegation twice, I can vouch for the fact that adversity only increases the closeness and love.