Kewell-hand Rafa

Before poodle-permed midfielder Craig Johnston made his name designing football boots that could also be used to grate cheese, he was better known as the only Australian ever to win Big Cup with Liverpool. But that could all change this season as, with the semi-finals looming and a sniff of Euro-glory in the air, Harry Kewell has crawled out of hibernation, rubbed several months' worth of sleep from his eyes and declared himself fit for tomorrow night's clash against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.

Which is good of him, considering most people -- including his manager -- seem to think Harry's been suffering from nothing more serious than a chronic bout of lethargy. However, this excellent news for Chelsea fans has been tempered by the fact that the Liverpool winger who's played just twice, very badly, since Christmas is not so much fit as a fiddle as an out-of-tune cello.

"He has been training for a few weeks and although he would not be able to start the match he could play for 20 or even 40 minutes," declared Rafa Benitez to the sound of celebratory honks in the Stamford Bridge area. "He came to me and said he was fit if I wanted him. Having him back is a boost for the whole squad," he continued, maintaining the kind of deadpan visage any card-shark would be proud to call his poker face.

And with Milan Baros looking likely to start for Liverpool despite suffering an I-could-see-the-bone-esque TV & Radio section injury against Crystal Palace, Benitez has warned that his side must not develop a mental block after losing to Chelsea by one goal three times already this season. "Now we are playing against them for two games, when away goals can count as double, it is a different proposition," he averred, failing to confirm whether this meant he expected his side to lose by an even wider margin this time around.

Source: The Guardian