Premier League: Chelsea 0 - 0 Newcastle United

i cant believe we didnt beat the barcodes. never seen a team dominate the opp so much and not win. 70% possession, 30 attempts on goal. but to be honest i didnt feel we would win. ballack should have come on much earlier.

A very strange day for the Big 4. Maybe they were all on autopilot ahead of a decisive round of CL fixtures and some even bigger games next weekend.

GOOD:
1. Injuries - Apart from Ricky and Essien, we should have a near first team for the vital game in Bordeaux and against the Arse (minus Didier). The return of Ballack seems a certainty for that added steel, power and height and it should mean one of Joe or Malouda would miss out.
2. Results - We're still top but every fan must have that 'if only' feeling. As seen in our title winning seasons, we're great front runners and a 2 pt gap would have been useful leading up to Xmas.
3. Phil - His interview on MOTD showed the first signs of frustration towards the officials and a couple more draws or defeats could see the unveiling of his trademark left hook. That would certainly brighten up the mood at the Bridge where lately games have turned into attack vs defence training sessions.
4. Arsenal - Seeing them implode is hilarious. Agent G has completed his assignment at the Emirates and now we're seeing the true failures of Wenger's Arsenal being brought into the open. No success in 5 years, an obsession with developing youngsters despite having a £50m warchest every summer and a lack of experience and leadership. I've thought for a while that this should be his last season as he seems to have run out of ideas. Pretty football can only get you so far and in the end trophies should always trump style. Fabreagas will probably be made captain to delay his inevitable departure to Barca but in the end this side could lose its biggest names and they do look the most vulnerable to a Villa push for 4th.

BAD:
1. Home form - We know sides come for a draw at the Bridge and yet we never seem to come up with something new to beat them. Lots of pretty triangles, lots of square passes but no real chances. It's when we really miss long balls to Didier and it's worrying how we've already dropped 9 points at home...

...as our home form cost us the title last year. Although on the up side, 19 wins away from home and a few duff results at the Bridge will still get us towards Phil's target of 97 points to be Champions.

So it wasn't that bad apart from when it comes to scoring. Maybe the team were saving themselves for a very important week. After our own disaster in Rome, victory in Bordeaux is a must. Then it's the Arsenal, which for me is a crucial game for our title hopes and for Big Phil. Will we see a backlash after being battered by City? By then they'll have appointed a permanent captain, Fabregas will be back from suspension and they can't possibly be as bad as today against City. But the fact that they don't know how to park the bus should mean we'll get more room than we did against Liverpool or Utd.

But for me, i want to see if Phil knows how to beat a good team. Whether it's Spurs, Utd, Liverpool or Roma, he's come up short. His pretty football proved pointless against all of these sides and it's crucial we win next weekend. Going through a season without a win against the other members of the Big 4 makes it virtually impossible to be Champions and more importantly for Roman, an inability to beat good teams will certainly rule out any CL triumph. I want to see that he has a Plan B (despite not having Didier)and in the short term we need to start winning at home. 3 wins from 7 home games is poor and we need to start rebiulding our fortress. If we can show that we can beat the big teams and that we know how to break down those who come for a draw, then this title is ours for the taking. The Gunners have already fallen away, Utd seem inconsistent without Quieroz and that just leaves a straight fight between us and the Scousers.

So a very big week coming up which should go a long way to deciding how successful we can be this season.

And it's the end of the road for Arnesen:

LINK

Great point for us-bus or no bus,could be the difference between staying up and trips to Ipswich,Norwich..... etc.Howay the Lads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Say what you like about the 'principle' of not paying the extra few million for Robinho-od - he's fit, on form and has bagged 8 in his last 11 league games. Exactly the sort of guile we need.

Clearly missing any sort of forward threat at the moment, the 'home hangover' from someone finally beating us at home is, unfortunately, alive and well. Not really sure why we're so poor at home, Mikel on MOTD probably summed it up best in that teams come here with one goal - dont concede and it's job done. The problem is, once again, questions will be asked about why we couldn't break down an organised, if little else, team with merely 3 points awa from home all season. Simply not good enough I'm afraid.

And I guraantee there is no way we'll beat the Gooners next Sunday. Billy G will be back with a point to prove - it'll be more points dropped at home.

Scottswood - no need to worry about trips to Norwich, they'll be League 1 next season my friend.

Nice one JD - I'll need some time to find some philosophical responses. The pre-match pint was most enjoyable as was the range of subjects from Chelsea to drug laws!

A frustrating day indeed, akin to being locked in a room on a promise with Jennifer Aniston, Denise Van Outen and Kate Garraway (errr....just my latest thing really) only to find the old boy refusing to rise to the occasion and the local chemists having just sold the last box of Viagra. Hmmm.....

Agreed we played well and the passing at times was superb. I just feel we are missing that extra attacking option up front with Anelka. Frank was off beam and casual yesterday, his free kicks were poor. Joe Cole was busy but really needs to be a greedy bastard and try for more goals instead of fancy dan lay offs that don't quite work. Anelka played well from box to box but as JD states was marked out of the game, by an admittedly determined Toon defence, with Coloccini looking very impressive and Nicky Butt as well. Butt could have been wearing a suit of armour and crying 'Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war' such was his adversarial and combative nature. Malouda was as usual frustrating and I thought Popeye got it wrong by bringing on a hopelessly familiar fumbling Kalou-less before Ballack got the nod. Finally , Deco was frustrating as well, admirably doing a Ballack by working from box to box, but oddly unwilling to have a go at goal - similar to Joe Cole in fact.

So, I almost agree on MotM in Bosingwa who will be giving Damien Duff headaches and nightmares such was the number of times he skinned Duffers, but all around me the verdict was unanimous - Ivanovic was superb and did not make a single error. Great tackling, great vision , great anticipation in defence and an attitude that was top class. he got a standing ovation from us at one passage of play where he collected the ball in defence and .........

............went on a marauding forward run. I shall never again worry about Riccy not being available because this lad, a very close friend of Vidjic apparently, looks like our ready made answer to any defensive issue.

The biggest worry for me is the abject home form, with a defeat and 3 draws in 7 games. We seem to be intimidated on our home ground, not since the defeat, but for some time leading up to it. Any team bringing the bus knows they have a chance of a draw. Arsenal won't be like that next week, but they are wounded on the back of a bad run of 2 defeats againsts teams they were probably expected to beat. Anyone who thinks now is a good time to play arsenal should think along the lines of it was a good time to play Roma, we lost; it was a good time to play Spurs, we drew and yesterday was a good time to play Newcastle and we drew.

Next Sunday will be a big day in the PL - a turning point perhaps.

Cogito Ergo Sum as we like to say at the Descartes Guinness Club.

Habs, I don't think getting rid of joe or Malouda is a good idea. They are our best widemen and I think that Malouda was actually one of our best players yesterday.(odd right?). Deco is the only player I can see who should leave for Ze German. Besides, we need someone who can take a fucking free kick and it seems like Lamps and Deco have forgotten.

Well, everybody sees it and everybody knows it and probably there is no point to repeat it again. We can not penetrate resilient defence.

If we'd won all our games at home and dropped nine points away this season and were top of the league we'd probably all be happy.

The solution is simple - go to more away games.

More importantly I think there's a major problem with Jonathan's new scoring system which would explain our inability to break down defences. All the wines are reds and we simply don't have enough variety, something different, to take the opposition by surprise. I know it's a bit old fashioned and crude but maybe we could bring on a BLUE Nun as sub?

We have again dropped points against defensive & resilient teams - Liverpool, Roma, Cluj, Man U @ Bridge & now Newcastle... this doesn't bode well of winning trophies. Anelka hasn't scored any goals against the Big 4 or any defensive-minded teams while playing for us. At last, this blog writer who is a Foucin Kant when it comes to criticing Drogs & referring Nic Abdul Anelka as The Best Striker in the World as (Un)Proven by FIFA Rankings and Statistics, has realised the importance of Drogs and the fact that Abdul is only good enough against small clubs and the Kants who are meantally weak/play "beautiful" football. Well, there should be no problems next Sunday at the Bridge then!

@ 12

You what?

@ 12 - Congratulations, you've just won the award for the single most confusing, rambling and utterly daft comment of the season.

@ Mark - agreed - Blue Nun, the only way to be introduced to wine at 16 in the park, with your mates, a girlfriend of sorts in the mould of Vicky Pollard, some No.6 King Size, a cassette player with Sundays Top 20 recorded onto a C-90 and a couple of bottles of Pomagne to get things started. Aaaah...such sweet memories.

Blue Nun is officially on the fringes of the first team squad, but can't quite break through...

Bloody hell guys keep off the alcohol references, I'm nursing the mother of all hangovers, this is going to last a couple of days I can feel it.

Anyway a strange weekend but the Parfitt/Rossi remains... we're still top and our goal difference has increased over Agent Gallas side.

Agree with what JD says above about missing the battering ram effect that Drogba can bring to the attack, also with Fiftee's comment [6] about having someone a little different who can unlock defences. The thing that strikes me though is how crowded the penalty area looks when we attack and teams sit deep. My memory of the Bridge is that it was huge, but then everything is when you're a kid, and there was the dog-track too. Maybe the camera angles on tv create a depth of field illusion but I'm wondering how big the pitch is in comparison to other grounds, I know Emirates and Eastlands are supposedly big expanses, but it'd be interesting to know if the pitch at the Bridge is amongst the smallest in area compared to all the rest. Against Luckypool and last night it just looked full of opposition shirts and space was at a premium.

Watching some of the Toon fans at the end it was like they'd won, and that's the thing with draws, sometimes it feels like you won or lost which ultimately this felt like. I kept thinking the intensity could have been greater but I guess Big Phil will be encouraging calm, and intensity could turn into frustration.

Would this draw matter if the top 3 (Shitpool, Manures and ourselves) won? As far as the main concern is, we are still top. We need to get a job done against the Gooners next week. KTBFFH

@ChelseaTony,
Joe Cole was busy where?He was the worst Chelsea player yesterday.Infact i spent most of the time looking for him the 80mins he spent on the pitch.This is something I just dont get from most of us Chelsea fans. We seem to over look wasteful and inconsistent players like Joey while we attack the likes of Anelka and Kalou who have been life savers for us on various occassions.Yes Kalou and Anelka are inconsistent but Joey is much more inconsistent.

A few random thoughts:

1) Is Shay Given the most irritating goalkeeping Kant since Neville Southall in the art of slow motion goalkick taking - but respect to the sharp ballboy who took to running on the pitch to place the ball on the six-yard line to try to hurry him up?

2) Dowd as fussy refereeing Kant of the Year for that 4-times taken free kick from midfield.

3) Scrooge Kant to the flunkey who embraced the Kenyon financial cutbacks, saving on the heating bills by not turning on the heaters under the roof of the West Stand till the start of the 2nd half, leaving us freezing to death till then.

JD - while I normally really don't care about the ratings - I note subtle differences between those above and the ones attached to your bit in today's hard copy Observer. Also not sure why Mikel went from a 7 in your section to a 9 in the stars team on p16!

Just to cheer us up, a great story from City:

"Not toeing the tabloid line is the News of the World, however. It reckons that 'Manchester City are ready to launch an incredible £60million bid for John Terry. City's billionaire Arab owners plan to test Chelsea's resolve after identifying the England captain as their No 1 target.'

Judging by what the People and Mirror are saying, that test is unlikely to be particularly successful.

Anyway, to give the NOTW a fair hearing:

'Although Terry is seen as the cornerstone of Chelsea's recent success, City's Abu Dhabi owners firmly believe every player has his price. They would happily sanction a £200,000 a week deal for Terry, making him the highest paid player in the world.

'Ideally City would love to land Terry in the January transfer window but recognise there is more chance of the deal happening at the end of the season.'

We're saying that there's absolutely no chance of it happening, but that's just us."

So in the past week City want to buy Kaka, Buffon and JT! It'll be hilarious when in January, City are only able to bring in some average players like Santa Cruz, then they finish mid table, Mark Hughes gets sacked and then Robinho realises what a mistake he's made and hands in a transfer request. After all, Big Phil continues to say that he'll always be welcome at the Bridge.

@ Chaka - Joe Cole worse than Kalou? Get a grip man! It was Joe's first game for a while and he saw plenty of the ball. If you actually read my comment you'll see I accuse him of being too selfless, which most around me in the ground agreed with. Too many extra passes when maybe a shot was worth attempting. Joe did more yesterday than Kalou has done in his last few games. Oh, and watch the game again and see what happens to Kalou on his first chance to get the ball after coming on. He lifts his foot over the ball and gives Newcastle possession immediately. Pathetic.

The trouble with yesterday was we looked a bit Arsenal like with lots of pretty stuff in front of Newcastle but lacking the Terry Henry type to finish clinically. But like most, I am happy we're still top and the others didn't make any ground. But don't let that mask the problem we seem to have at home. Arsenal will not come and defend nor roll over, they'll be bloody determined to retrieve some honour and get their season going again. If we treat them as contemptuously as we did Toon then we might be on the wrong end of a backlash.

@ BBD - heaters man! Get a coat! I believe the Megastore does a good range of quilted coats. Failing that try Millets! The free kicj was a fiasco. Is it just me or is Dowd also looking like the Fat Kant of the year?

Chaka mate, what the hell is wrong with you? Joe is a great player and one of the most consistent widemen in the game.

@20 BBD

I can't possibly be held responsible for the vagaries of the Observor sub eds... :-)

The tricky thing about doing the post game review is that you are invariably either a) in the pub or b) on a tube talking to a bloke who is typing to meet a deadline at the same time; to say that I've often read the review the next day and been unsure as to quite how it has turned out is an understatement!

Loving the JT / City story - champagne comedy...

I think you're mishearing the Newcy's manager's middle name. Now that we proved Andy Townsend is a Kant, surely it's Joe "Foucauld" Kinnear?

Thanks JD for the typically sensible and eloquent report. It's particularly helpful to see some evidence of the "other" approach to blogging, which consists of people reacting to any bad result by saying "this lot are all obviously rubbish, get the other lot in". Makes you realise how lucky we are.

I'll stick my neck out for Sparky. I don't think he became a bad manager just because he got parachuted in on top of a team in total chaos and hasn't had many particularly good results in three months. You might as well say that Avram friggin' Grant is a great manager because in one season he nearly won the Premiership and the CL. Look at what happened to Wales and to Blackburn after Sparky left and you begin to get a sense of what he's good at.

The Arsene issue is more interesting. Obviously a brilliant manager in terms of spotting players and getting them to buy into his understanding of the game, but he doesn't seem to get the thing José is so much better at than everyone else: infusing a mentality into a team. Why would you make an obvious nutcase your captain? Why would you allow your players to have the impression that winning matters less than something else? (The rights and wrongs are arguable, but as a *manager* surely you can't let your players have any doubt about this?)

@ 26 - LTB - I spent a an hour or so on Friday night on Arseblog (after a pint or two admittedly...sorry Clive) discussing the finer points of Gallas and Wenger and I made the point that I think TSO knew what he was doing when he let Gallas go, although several of us did question the wisdom at the time. Turns out Carvalho was the better CB, but Gallas could have been the RB qith ease but felt the position demeaned him. I think TSO recognised the loose cannon side of his nature and hence let him go. Gallas immediate reaction seemed to prove TSO's point. As for Wenger, I also made the point that the lack of English/British players to feature in the team hasn't helped. Call me old fashioned, and realising English players are as mercenary as those from further afield, but the English lads do understand the culture of the fans and the team. They seem to understand the concept of 'fight' better without taking it literally. Is it any suprise that Manure, us and Poo, with the likes of Rooney, Giggs, Scholes, Terry, Lampard J Cole, A Cole, Stevie Me and Carragher have seen comparatively more success in the last few years than Arse who let Bentley go, fucked Jeffers up, introduced and shafted Hoyte and sold Ashley to us rather than give him a pay rise? Yes, they have Walcott, but he is a product of Southampton as much as Arsenal and you can go on about the kids like Wilshere etc but they are some way off being the finished product. I just wonder how long the board will persevere, and if one of the suitors gets control........I think Arsene could be moving the French national coach job.

It was surprising how many Gooners agreed with me!

On the Gallas situation, I do recall on various blogs and forums along with radio phone ins, on how pleased the Arse fans were with the deal. Stating that they had got the better player, who was quiet and just got on with the job in an understated sort of way, unlike the obnoxious money grabbing Kant that was Ashley.

I suppose it's funny how things turned out, I'm now thinking that Billy boys threat of scoring an own goal had a tinge of truth to it, and in hindsight there's no doubting who's having the last laugh on the deal.

Anyway as beer was mentioned I need to lay down in a darkended room to recover... my legal team will be in touch soon Mr Glover!

Tonight, SSN have said that Brendan Rodgers will be the next Watford manager. It's a big loss to us as he is a very talented young coach who Jose rates very highly, but good luck to him at Watford. He's done a lot more than Arnesen in terms of developing young talent such as Mancienne, Woods, Kakuta...

"Pray to the Lord and don't question his love of biscuits", as we say down the Bayou, but wine, philosophy and complaints about a lack of heating in the stands? The game of football has had its hairy arse well and truly waxed.

Fine reportage JD. Like the way you worked in the wine references ahead of Wednesday.

A thought occurred to me about JFK's personal safety (love the Foucault interpretation LTB). When visiting Anfield he needs to be careful. I don't know if it's the Book Depository overlooking the ground or the grassy knoll down near the Kop, but that sniper who keeps getting Stevie G will take out ol' JFK no problem.

Sundry other thoughts...

£60m for JT. If times is hard and we're cutting back to tea and poor quality sarnies down at Cobham (see previous bloggage) and freezing poor old BBD in the West Stand, I think the suits might bite City's hand off (not because they're hungry as I assume the boardroom has not been subject to the same level of cutbacks). I'm not laughing, stranger things and all that.

@ David #17

Had the same thought today about pitch size. If memory serves me the pitch was reduced in size during the building of the Bates Motel complex but I'm not sure how it now rates against other stadia. Judicious use of satallite imagery and a small ruler might yield an answer if one had the time or the inclination.

Ex - Chelsea Managers Department
Disappointed to see that JM had to resort to pesonal remarks about CR in the build up to the Inter win over Juve. Doubtless someone will give me a justification but until then I can only feel that he demeans himself. Both men served our club well and its unedifying to watch. Fine to refer to each others teams or respective records but JM always seems the need to get personal. Maybe it's me. Like CR I'm old and haven't won much. Although as you've time, pull up a chair and I'll tell you how I nearly won the bunch sprint in the Stokenchurch 60m Road Race for the Hardly Roadworthy..

Foucauld is what Arsenal will be winning this season.

@ bluebayou

My websource/calculator method was enough to deflate my theory that there's just not enough room on the pitch, in fact it's slightly bigger than the average, it just looks small when everyone is predominantly in one half for most of the match =)

Arsenal 124x83yds = 10292sq yds
Hull City 114x78yds = 8892sq yds
Man Utd 116x76yds = 8816sq yds
Stoke 115x75yds = 8625sq yds
Man City 115x74yds = 8510sq yds
Middlesbrough 115x74yds = 8510sq yds
West Brom 115x74yds = 8510sq yds
Bolton 114x74yds = 8436sq yds
Chelsea 113x74yds = 8362sq yds
Blackburn 115x72yds = 8280sq yds
Aston Villa 115x72yds = 8280sq yds
Liverpool 111x74yds = 8214sq yds
West Ham 112x72yds = 8064sq yds
Tottenham 110x73yds = 8030sq yds
Portsmouth 110x72yds = 7920sq yds
Wigan 120x66yds = 7920sq yds
Everton 110x70yds = 7700sq yds
Newcastle 115x66yds = 7590sq yds
Sunderland 105 x 68 = 7140sq yds
Fulham 100x68yds = 6800sq yds

Can we hope the return of Ballack will mean the return to searching for arse splinters on the sidelines for Malouda? I still cannot see the point of him - as a wide player, he never takes the full-back on, his decision making is often poor, and as for his appalling finishing....Kalou, although inconsistent, offers more than this French vintage (pace earlier booze discussion).

However, maybe I'm missing something, as my view is solely an armchair one these days, and with a cup of tea not a pint. Can anyone explain why we shouldn't sell him at first opportunity in January?

@ David 31...it just looks small when everyone is predominantly in one half for most of the match

An excellent point... The problem is that the 9-1-1 formation seems to be catching on with opposition teams at the Bridge.

Saturday calling for more battering ram than guile, and the game cried out for Ballack to replace Deco, far sooner than his late introduction for Cole. Last year Ballack gave us a missing drive from midfield and he needs to be used again in the same way. Drogba too provides some much needed muscle, as a strike-force of Anelka, Cole, Malouda, Deco is painfully lightweight.

One of the papers described swapping Malouda for Kalou as being as pointless 'as two bald men fighting over a comb' which is a pretty apt description for the ineptness of both players lately. Quite frankly we would be better off freeing up some space on the pitch and playing one man short at the moment!

> Chaka

I really feel you....Truth is, if JC hadnt played, all the blame for our not scoring would have conveniently been heaped on Kalou...

There are some days that are just like these...and you learn to take them as they come...

Scolari should have gone for broke seeing that the stripes were not interested in attacking. He could have sacrificed a full back for an attacker to put more pressure in the opposition box...we had no need ending the match with our back 4 intact when the opposition never threatened our keeper...

Always Blue!

@Bayou #20,

Given is annoying, but only in that he's one of a lenghty list of keepers who seem to play out of their skin at the merest whiff of Chelsea. Always pulling off 'Worldy' saves, usually with parts of his anatomy that are unexpected.

I seem to remember Friedel was like that at Blackburn as well.

I've watched MOTD again and from the limited highlights, it just seems we still dont have anything other than plan 'A'. TSSO has comeout and said he didn't change the formation because we were playing well and that's fine. But theres a difference between playing well and winning games.

It all seems a bit like for like - 4-3-3 and you know which players are contesting each position. Thankfully Joey is back so one of Kalou / Malouda will be sitting on his arse on the bench, as opposed to sitting on his arse on the pitch after another failed attempt at controlling the ball. We're desparately short up front with Drogs suspended and Di Santo injured - clearly Sinclair isn't seen as a forward. Or wide man. Or anything.

We'll be o.k Wednesday because we're away, but next Sunday will just be more of the same. Billy G and his band of (not at all) merry men will come with the aim of not conceding and we'll end up with the same outcome - unable to break down an organised defence because we only have one way of playing. Man City drubbed them and yet you know it'll be a completely different Arsenal that turn up next week.

@Fiftee #35

I think you have mistaken me for Blueboydave whose post you are referring to.

Unlike BBD I do not expect extraneous heating to be provided when attending the Bridge. I take care to dress for the weather ensuring adequate warm clothing paying particular attention to the quality of the trouser.

If the weather gets a little extreme I may wear a cravat to protect my neck and chest (my somewhat delicate artistic constitution) but that is all.

I don't anticipate a parked bus with the Arse next week as it would go against the grain for them. So a proper game of football should ensue, which given comparative form should favour us but then its a London Derby, we are at home, we will be favourites.......

@ David #31

Oh the Interweb everything at our fingertips. Good work. Haven't had time to do indepth studying but look how we struggled at Wigan on their narrow pitch. Sunderland and Newcastle may be problematic. Look at Cashburton. Very hard to park a bus on that vast expanse. Can't but think Arsene would have insisted on a big wide space.

Phew!! that was a big bot of luck!! Man-u and Liverpool getting the same score and Arsenal losing!! that score has not happened for 86 years so it was very lucky otherwise I am sure we would have been 2nd today! still, we are top and that's what counts. having said all that though, A little niggle is starting to appear about this team. i dont know what it is exactly, but something of the machine like qualities coupled with putting the fear into all opponents has obviously gone. let's hope the greater flair can get us through, we don,t want to start to become the new Arsenal!.

Yep, funny that, Jose has a few draws and loses only once away to AC Milan who the following game only get a draw and they are all against him with totally unfair comparisons in serie A...yet The same thing happens to Udinese and Fiorentina although in their next game after playing Inter, though they lost against Inter. It seems all the teams are putting up greater fights against Inter then are shagged out for their next match, yet after another big win against Juventus on Saturday, AC could only draw and now Inter are top by three points and guess what guys,....record so far for JM is Less losses (1 only), less goals let in, more goals scored and under Mancini they had not beat Juventus...sounds all too familiar and in a new country with all the expectations....that is a winners mentality and why pound for pound this guy is the best manager in the world at this time in football, and give me that anyday over Wengers mentality..the history books only talk about winners, not nice men.....

Hey, come on chaps give me a break!

I paid my footballing dues spending my formative years suitably clad watching Kilmarnock lose from the frozen tundra that passed for the terraces at Rugby Park.

Equally, for the vast bulk of my Stamford Bridge days I watched in appropriate attire to face the howling gale that used to whizz through the gap between the old Shed and the then unfinished end of the East Stand Upper Tier and the constant rain dripping through the leaky roof.

When I switched to the West Stand a few years ago I had to deal not only with the culture shock of watching from the "wrong" side of the pitch [it's hard to believe how different the ground looks] but discovered in those happy pre-recession times that said heaters were switched on at the first sign of a dark cloud in the sky and if you'd dressed for the weather you would find yourself tempted to join those nutty, macho Geordies unvealing their beer bellies and tattoos - but just to prevent heat stroke setting in.

Have to admit I've got used to not returning home with blocks of ice for feet that need to thaw out in a hot bath for half an hour - think of it as a loyalty bonus to a fan with declining circulation, helping him get through the years before he qualifies for his winter fuel payments ;-)

@BBD #39

:-(

You must have connections in seriously high places.

Since taking several opportunities to mock your complaint about the heating, I have arrived at the office only to find out that the boiler failed over the weekend and they are still waiting for the engineer to sort it out.

People are starting to lose consciousness, there is a scramble everytime someone prints something so that one can get a brief burst of heat from the copier. We are starting to look around nervously in case the management instruct us to start rubbing each others extremeties in order to aid circulation. For those in some parts of the building, given who they are working with, it could be a slice of heaven. Looking at those in my immediate vicinity......well I may just have to come over all Captain Oates....

Needless to say let this be a warning to anyone else who thiks that mocking BBD is an opprotunity for harmless fun.......(cue theme tune to Tales of the Unexpected with the shilouette of a woman dancing around in flames... oh no I'm starting to hallucinate about fires.......)

as you can see the chill in my fingres is making my typign worse than usual

BBD / Bayou.

Sorry for the confusion. The frozen tundra that is Norwich is playing havoc with my mind, all I'm thinking about is trying to keep warm. My sporadic appearances at my desk are linked ot frequent trips to the Mens

What do we reckon to this story : LINK

Podolski wants to leave Bayern in January. For sure Man City will offer £350m or whatever it takes to buy whatever 'name' they can, but surely we need to be leaning on Herr Ballack to use his National captaincy influence and persuade young Podolski to join us. Maybe we could send Kalou / Malouda the other way.

And, obviously, being German, he'll be able to bury every penalty he's ever asked to take.

*My sporadic appearances at my desk are linked to frequent trips to the Mens
to use the hand dryers to warm up !!!!!

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh, I need to be able to edit. Or just finish sentences before submitting.

Damn my shivering fingers !

Yes, folks, it's time once again for ...

ANDY TOWNSEND DOES PHILOSOPHY INNIT

Week 2 -- Confucius

"Basically, it's all about the lads making good decisions. All over the pitch. Innit."

@ Fiftee

Given the drop in temperature, you are of course free to indugle in whatever activities you see fit in the men's lavatories under the guise of keeping warm...

Would love to see Podolski here; feeling amongst the Bayern-ites I've spoken to is that he's been a little burnt by the 'big club' experience so whether he'd be happy playing a similar part over here is questionable. One suggestion (which I think appeared in the German media) was that he might go back to Cologne, possibly on loan for a while.

The problem lies in LFS for imposing DECO on chelsea at times just to prove he made a good signing!!!!!
when clearly he is not preforming nowadays!Deco has a lot of stray passes and is easily outmuscled particularly on that improvised AMC role !the reality is he is extremely lazy and lacks pace having analysed him plenty of times and i think his arrival in the box is quite not upto task more often he is left behind when our widemen square their crosses you only get to see him on the initial stages of a build up or when taking a freekick , i rarely see him pouncing on those crosses like frank.or in a counter attack. yes he has skill but if bosingwa malouda ,cashley, cole n frank can get in the box so should he particularly on that AMC position! or else he should just leave it to ballack who can head shoot outmuscle opponents cross and is an expert in deadball situations,yes he sees alot of the ball but he should do what the likes of xavi iniesta lamps and nasri do that is getting in the box!!

If bosingwa and cole cant figure out Anelka rarely heads the ball why cant they just cross it low this is basic common sense just shoot hard and low and wait for anelka to get a rebound or an easy tap in...

Scolari is becoming too predictable!! why is that if we cant score the first people he takes out are the wingers after that the game just locks .i think he should be abit experimental and try substituting his untouchable deco and playing alex as a striker the guy can shoot for heavens sake and head the ball and has alot of bravery or try playing bosingwa as an attacking midfilder we have alot of right backs ...LFS is proving to be too rigid with a fixed mindset which is costing us alot he is just leading the table by virtue of luck!!!i will not be supprised if we fail to beat any of the big4

Da big freeze update

Clever move by the management. If you can prove your core body temperature has dropped below 25 degrees you can go home.

However they are only providing one rectal thermometer.........oh yous gadda be first on this one

However they are only providing one rectal thermometer.........oh yous gadda be first on this one

It would only be fun if it was used properly on the first person, while the second person uses it conventionally to get a reading.

I'll get my coat, it is cold!

@BB - despite your previous mockery my generous nature sympathises with your plight.

Interesting twist with the rectal thermometer ploy - my old employers had one of those special bureaucrat's wall thermometers with the hidden blockage which physically prevented the mercury dropping below whatever the spartan minimum level set in the Office, Shops & Railway Premises Act was, which would have allowed us to stage a Fred Kite-like "Everybody Out" .....

Just seen the assists stats. so far this season:
LINK

4thegame.com highlights those valuable players who create scoring opportunities for others.

The Providers Team Assists
=================================
Emmanuel Adebayor Arsenal 6
Dimitar Berbatov Manchester United 6
Florent Malouda Chelsea 6
Mikel Arteta Everton 5
Steed Malbranque Sunderland 5
Ashley Young Aston Villa 5
Joe Cole Chelsea 4
Rory Delap Stoke City 4
Robbie Keane Liverpool 4
Wayne Rooney Manchester United 4
Shaun Wright-Phillips Manchester City 4
David Bentley Tottenham Hotspur 3
Jimmy Bullard Fulham 3
Peter Crouch Portsmouth 3
Andy Dawson Hull City 3
Jermain Defoe Portsmouth 3
Denilson Arsenal 3
Cesc Fabregas Arsenal 3
Geremi Newcastle 3
Stephen Ireland Manchester City 3
===============================================
We've outscored just about everybody, perhaps not the best to
whine,...some interesting points
=============================================
-Geremi&SWP, wonder what Anelka could do with Geremi crosses
-Arteta&Young have had 10 setpieces headed in btwn them.
-2nd striker results in more assists.
-Malouda, 6 assists and hardly a 'cheers'
====================================
-Wonder why Deco&Ballack don't feature in the list
-Big homework for BigPh, i guess
-Aren't we too Reliant on wingers?!!!!!!!!!

Wonder why Deco&Ballack don't feature in the list

Wake up Henry the latter has been injured for quite a while and only just come back.

Clive, I guess i owe you a cookie. Such a wise little urchin.

From that list we can see why Malouda has been an ever present under Scolari, no matter what we all think of his performances. Where's Kalou?

Anyway, with a beleaguered Arsenal on the horizon, Phil will soon be settling on his first team. It'll be no gimme as Arsenal are hurting from the drubbing by Robinho's City and they'll have their new captain back. I think we'd all like to see Ballack return as he's been missed in the miserable results against Utd, Liverpool and Roma. But who will he come in for?

Deco? No chance, he's Scolari's untouchable.
Joe? Maybe. He might be our most creative player but no Chelsea manager has ever taken to him.
Malouda? Many fans would say it should be him, but Scolari obviously likes him, he's got a good understanding with Anelka and has given us 6 assists.

Apart from that, there's no-one else to rotate. So we could be seeing a return to the pre-season formation of a slightly lopsided, but more compact 4-1-4-1:

Cech
Bosingwa Ivanovic JT Cole
Mikel
Deco Lamps Ballack Malouda
Anelka

Finally, good luck to Brendan Rodgers and Lamps Snr at Watford. Wouldn't be at all surprised to see us suddenly loaning out the likes of Woods, Mellis and Kakuta to Watford.

"-Arteta&Young have had 10 setpieces headed in btwn them."

Could this be to do with Carew, Laursen, Yakubu & Lescott?

If the chart is measuring "scoring opportunities", does that mean only set-pieces that are actually headed *in* count? -- but if the header just misses, or even misses badly, it was still a "scoring opportunity", so why do Arteta and Young get more points just because on ten occasions the person with the header managed not to screw up? In fact isn't every decent corner dropped into the box a "scoring opportunity"? It's not the corner-taker's fault if sometimes the movement in the box produces a goal effort or a goal, and sometimes it doesn't. (Defenders may have something to do with this too.) So, do you get extra points just because you happen to be the person who takes the corners and free kicks?

In fact, could it be that football is a fluid team game in which off-the-ball movement and complex positioning are perpetually significant, thus rendering the whole concept of counting "assists" obviously meaningless?

I want at least two cookies, please, and a cup of tea to dip them in. Ta.

Clive, I guess i owe you a cookie. Such a wise little urchin.

Ooh Henry can be be facetious... I like chocolate chip ones by the way.

Fiftee, where are you in Norwich, out of interest? I live in a student house on Heigham Road just between Dereham and Earlham. It's nice to know a fellow Blue in the area!

@56
Don't tell him Fiftee, students are tax dodgers and scroungers, he'll be coning round for home cooked food every night! ;-)

Peregrine,

I'm out near the Canaries training ground at Colney.

Clive, they mostly are ;-), but who wouldn't dodge taxes given the chance?

@ Fiftee

but who wouldn't dodge taxes given the chance?

Amen to that. Although you'll struggle given yesterday's news - two things in life that are certain, and all that - death is currently looking like the cheaper option right now!

Glad to see our money worries will be over in January.

I see that Man City are going to add £20m on top of the £60m we're getting from them for JT if we chuck in Ashley Cole.

So £80m in the back pocket, and Ivanovic / Mancienne in to replace JT and Bridge as first choice left back.

Everyone's a winner.

Maybe we could afford to take on more scouts then ;-)

On the subject of scouts, is it just me that thinks all the whispering about Arnesen's future and sacking of scouts is a bit stupid?

Why would you employ a bloke who is generally regarded as one of the best in his field at great expense (and hassle: re Spurs) to source youth players (a fairly neglected and under-resourced are for some time in the latter days of the Bates era); he does so to a reasonable degree of success in a fairly short space of time (3 years) - see last season's youth cup - then you sack half his scouts and start muttering about the lack of stars he's produced.

The reason Wenger churns out talented embryos (who may or may not go on to become great players) is because he's been developing his system and network of scouts for a decade or more. Doubt he'd be doing as well now if someone had put the brakes on the system three years down the line.

It all seems a bit, well, cuntish and badly managed to put not too fine a point on it if you ask me.

@ KJ_II - agreed wholeheartedly, prior to Arnesen we barely had an academy to speak of, and if we're brutally honest the only really home grown player we've produced of quality has been JT. Compare this to Manure with the Beckham et al golden era, and Arsenes parade of baby-gravy tadpoles and it looks pretty grim.

By all means reduce the 'network' - after all Arnesen himself can't expect to see RA spend money limitlessly on scouts etc. But he is still acknowledged as one of the best, and if he goes...........who does the scouting and overall co-ordination then?

Lets not forget that for every 100 players through the academy, if we get 1 or 2
every few years then that would be progress.

Didier Drogba's future in doubt at Chelsea after 'meeting Inter Milan'

Didier Drogba's future at Chelsea appears to be in some doubt after holding discussions with Inter Milan executives last night, according to reports in Italy.

The Chelsea forward and his agent, Pierre Frelot, are reported to have met with Marco Branca, the technical director of Inter, and Jorge Mendes, the agent of club manager Jose Mourinho at a restaurant in Fulham.

La Gazetta Dello Sport carried the story on their website this morning, stating that "a meeting of four people in Fulham has pushed Drogba closer to Inter".

Pardon me if I make free with your words JKII but a little bit of cut and paste produces this,

"Why would you employ a bloke who is generally regarded as one of the best in his field at great expense - then you sack (him).......familiar eh?

Given that behind the scenes at Chelsea (and we're not alone in this) it is one big ongoing bitchfest, one can only assume that the Arnesen business is part of the ongoing aftershock from JM's departure.

One interpretation is that Arnesen and his supporters at boardroom level appeared to have won the battle for control of football matters as TSO ( who was crtical of the lack of youth quality rightly or wrongly) was instructed to make some space on the coatrack.

Perhaps with he arrival of LSF, an appointment they may or may not have welcomed and indeed instigated, and further concern expressed by the new team about lack of product from the youth setup, suddenly FA's position is more shaky. What might have been perceived as politicking on JM's part may be seen as wisdom if it emanates from a man who now sits on the board.

Until Chelsea establish an agreed hierarchy where all the major ego's are pulling in one direction and are happy with the pecking order this sort of briefing and counter briefing will go on in the press.

One last thought, perhaps these are skirmishes over who is in control of player purchasing. FA is supposed to have had quite a role in this and perhaps the new regime is trying to clip his wings and restrict his influence. After all with spending money tight we can't afford too many more duffers from PSV etc.

By the way, who was responsible for the purchase of Ivanovic?

LINK

Shame there's no-one of note we could do a swap for.

Adriano likes to party a little bit too much, Ibrahimovic seems to think he's God AND Jesus rolled into one. Possibly the one person in the World who is more smug and in love with himself than Ronaldo.

Crespo has been and gone, Julio Cruz is just a bit too average really.

No idea who the other 4 strikers are, as the story mentions Jose looking to reduce the 8 he currently has.

Surely we've just leaked this to the press ourselves so that Man City offer us £40m and a few hectares of oil-rich real estate in some Arab nation for him.

@ 63 - Evillynn - quelle surprise! Having said that, the Italian football press is rather infamous for 'creating' the news in league with the major clubs in order to be the catalyst behind a players sudden disgruntlement and turning their head. Is that so dissimilar to what we did with Ashley Cole or even Michael Essien?

Drogba is a great player and if he gets his head and act together then I'd like to see him stay, but he didn't play that much last season and with a third of ths season already gone he's contributed nothing to any competition. If Inter want to offer a decent amount that might fund a new striker then so be it. Mind you knowing our luck we'd end up with Carthorse Ibrahimovich in a swap deal. Although Adriano would be a more interesting swap deal.......

"By the way, who was responsible for the purchase of Ivanovic?"

Oh my God, I fear it may have been Uncle Avram!!

I may have done him a disservice because Ivanovic looks top drawer.

"Surely we've just leaked this to the press ourselves so that Man City offer us £40m and a few hectares of oil-rich real estate in some Arab nation for him."

Which we could use to resolve BlueboyDaves West Stand heating issues.

@ Blue Bayou

Until Chelsea establish an agreed hierarchy where all the major ego's are pulling in one direction and are happy with the pecking order this sort of briefing and counter briefing will go on in the press.

I think that summarises the current scenario pretty well...

Concern is the lack of a 'long term' plan - changing personnel every 2-3 years doesn't do anything to breed stability and whilst on current evidence Scolari is doing a good job, in terms of the future it takes a leap of faith to see him as the man to oversee the creation of an 'empire' with coherent policy running through the club at all levels. He's 60 and the longest he has stated anywhere at club level is three years (and that was in Brazil); is he in this for the next decade? I doubt it, somehow.

Didier to Inter? Possible, but not in January. Do they really think Jose is stupid enough to buy a cup tied player? It seems much more likely next summer. Phil would know by then if this team can cope without our favourite battering ram or if he's still crucial in tight home games when the pace of Anelka proves ineffectual. Watching Chelsea TV, Kerry Dixon says that if this were to be Didier's last season then we've got 2 options:

1. Kenwyne Jones - Continue with the battering ram approach in a 4-1-4-1.
2. A more creative second striker, which would mark the end of Jose's 4-3-3. Looking on enviously at Robinho's amazing form, he should have been that second striker but next summer Phil will have the chance to really shape his own team. There'll be no Euros or World Cup to take up time in the transfer window and he should be able to mould a new side, with or without Didier.

And Ivanovic does look top class. A big thanks to whoever got him. Couldn't possibly have been that mug in charge last season, it must have been Steve Clarke!

A little worrying to read of Phil snubbing Mancienne this season:

"Chelsea manager Luiz Felipe Scolari has delivered a snub to Blues hopeful Michael Mancienne by insisting that he is not ready for first team football at Stamford Bridge.

Referring to John Terry, Ricardo Carvalho, Alex and Branislav Ivanovic, Luiz Felipe Scolari said that he has a quartet of higher ability than Mancienne, and that the youngster will be out on loan for a while yet.

He told Chelsea TV: "I don't say that he is not good enough for Chelsea but the fans must understand that I have four players who already play in this position. All these four players are the best in the world right now."

I for one would happily see the wholehearted yet slow, cumbersome and dimwitted Alex sold if it meant we could see a Chelsea youngster with pace in the squad. We may not have seen much of him but he's a better prospect than Alex in the long term.

Dear God, dont get Kerry Dixon working as a part-time scout.

Kenwyne Jones? Come on. He's good, but not Chelsea good. If we wanted to go battering ram I'd look at someone like John Carew.

Hell, if DD goes to Inter I'd try and do a deal for Adriano. He's got his off field problems (which pro footballer hasn't) but he would be amazing. And he's unplayable (in a good way) on Pro Evo, which pretty much nails it for me!

Could be an interesting season for us, I know they are only rumblings and rumours but maybe we're faced with more of an upheaval and transition than we first thought.

@KJII

I can but cast my kindling of agreement on the roaring fire of you argument old boy.

If this was to be the last of the bloodletting we might perhaps flinch as we shuffle past the prison walls and hear the firing squad despatch the last of the condemned, pause a moment shake the head and stride onto a bright future.

But I share your concern that we will have another change of tack in a couple of years.

By the way the heating is back on in the office - luckily we had only had to burn the office junior and a couple of old jumpers. And no we didn't eat him when he was cooked, what do you think we are savages!

A quick question - a colleague of mine did the Stadium tour a month ago, which was great value for money. But he spotted what seems a calamitous error on the 'roll of honour' when you walk in.

Apparently this lists us as as FA Cup winners in 1976/1977. Now call me pedantic (and my colleague who says this error obsessed him for the rest of the tour) but I'm fairly sure we didn't win a trophy again until 1997 (Full Members/Zenith Data Systems stuff aside).

Has anyone else seen this error?

My mate bought it to the attention of the girl who was checking the passes but got the 'I'm new here and don't follow football' Teflon shouldered response.

I've heard of things being written out of history but this would be revisionism that would make The Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il proud.

I also agree that Kenwyne Jones is a Championship version of Didier but there aren't that many battering rams out there for us to bring in.

Carew - Too slow and a little bit rubbish.
Adebayor - Could exploit the Arsenal implosion to get him but is he really that good?
Bendtner - Young, big and strong. But moody, arrogant and doesn't score enough goals.
Adriano - Certainly a very good player but his party-boy lifestyle would not sit well with Phil. Although Phil is probably the only one to get him to knuckle down.

I'd love to see Aguero here as he is a great talent. He will be one of the 3 best players in the world next year, along with Messi and Ronaldo/Kaka. Roman has made bids for him in the past and been rejected as Aguero stated he wants to stay in Madrid. But he'll probably do a Torres and give in to the lure of the Premiership. It'll then be a race between us and City.

But the likes of Aguero and Villa seem very unlikely targets for us. More realistic options for a new attacking player include the likes of Balotelli at Inter, Owen at Newcastle, Sturridge at City, Defoe at Pompey or our very own Sinclair or Sahar.

@ChelseaTony #73

Perhaps not a matter to be discuussed on a public forum as its only inviting passing scousers to comment that our lack of history is forcing us to make it up.

You have to think that a good few people have pointed it out by now.

Is Kim Jong Il korean for Kaiser Jonny II? I've never met JD, is he a short bloke of far eastern aspect with spectacles and bad hair colouring with a reckless disregard for human life?

I'll admit to the spectacles and bad hair...

'cumbersome and dimwitted Alex'

That was very unnecessary. he is brazilian for fcku sake!
Go Stand in front of a full length mirror and you'll
see a real 'cumbersome dimwitt' numnut.

@73 ChelseaTony - a bizarre mistake - it wasn't even one of the years when we were rubbish but managed to cuff Liverpoo in the FA Cup before failing elsewhere.

On Drogba rumour I've just heard on radio that TSO claims to "know nothing about" this supposed meeting in Fulham yesterday - the plot thickens.....

death is currently looking like the cheaper option right now!

@JD
After catching Watchdog last night, I wouldn't be so sure!

So what that he's Brazilian. He turns slower than an oil tanker and is not exactly the most tactically astute defender we've got. His constant ambles forward can sometimes pay off but against better sides it just leaves us one defender short. Him being Brazilian means that he'll probably never leave due to Scolari's bias towards anything Brazilian (just like bringing in Mineiro, what a great purchase he's been) but he's definitely fourth choice after watching Ivanovic lately. The only downside from promoting Mancienne is that we'll lose the ability to smash a free kick somewhere towards goal from a mile out, whilst we would gain pace, another Englishman in the CL quota and the fact that he's a Chelsea boy.

It's a no brainer.

Fiftee, Pro Evo? Is that 08 or 09? I haven't got 09 yet but in 08 he was definately unplayable.

"On SKY Italia, Ferguson was asked whether Ronaldo deserves to win the Ballon d'Or, to which he replied (with a smile):

"If Ronaldo doesn't win the Ballon D'Or this season I will quit as manager."

This guy is more senile than I thought. A total lack of respect for other players. I really miss seeing us convincingly beat his team. Like the 3-1 at Old Toilet when Jose we had already won the league.

Haberdonkey, Adriano doesnt have a "party lifestyle". You may recall he was a beast for the last 4 years until last year. The reason he was so bad is because his father died and he was obviously very down by that. I do think that despite the fact that Didier has been brilliant for us and is proven in this league. In his heart I think he wants to leave and if so then let him leave. Adriano is younger and his physical style would make him a monster in the EPL when you consider he still has his peak years ahead of him.

Yeah, of course Adriano doesn't have a party lifestyle. I mean it's just a coincidence that Jose has dropped him for turning up late to training after a night out despite Adriano saying that he had moved on from partying before training. And it was also a coincidence that Mancini dropped him last season for partying also.

Having said that, if Phil can get him focused on football again, he is the best replacement for Didier, who's probably suffering from Ronaldo syndrome after missing out on his dream move to Milan. Either that or we could end up with Pizarro leading the line.

Definitely a bit of a 'character', Adriano; brilliant when he can be arsed - he was incredible at Parma (played with Mutu as the second striker and they got a hatful - sort of a Jimmy / Eidur type combination), but has been called lazy in the past by that bastion of hard work and selfless toil - Juan Veron. The Inter / Drogba stories seem to be coming from the general direction of his agent, but there has been some stuff in the Italian press about a swap recently (Arrigo Sacchi was quoted on the subject - worked with Adriano when he was at Parma and thinks he needs to move for the good of his career).

Not entirely convinced he'd cope as the lone front man in a 4-3-3, especially in the Premiership and the problems he's had don't exactly inspire confidence...

"I don't have anything to say," Drogba told skysports.com.

"I am upset about the reaction on my comeback game, I made an error.

"I have always said I have a contract with Chelsea until 2010, no comment about the supposed meeting."

Call me sceptical, but I'd take DD's quotes as confirmation it definitely happened. But then they could be meeting to collate external feedback for Jose's annual appraisal........

I seem to remember TSO also denying any contact with a certain Ashley Cole and agent.......

what goes around etc.......

If the meeting didnt happen then Didier would come out and say it didnt happen.
No comment is a cowards way of saying "Yeah it happened but you dont have proof".
Where is his commitment? All he says is "I have a contract" we all know that.
If he wants to leave then let him go if we can get Adriano who despite last season is still an awesome striker. His record for Inter and Brazil speaks for itself.

Incidentally, this piece on Mourinho from the Times ties in very nicely with our philosophizing last week. Are Chelsea THE club for football thinkers?

LINK

It seems so - you don't get this kind of thing on F365, do you?

Good article - did take issue with this line though:

That ability to change formations is not something we saw during Mourinho’s time in England

Eh?

Yeah, strange one that. If I'm being charitable I guess he means that JM started as 4-3-3 in almost every game in his first two years even if he frequently changed the formation two or three times during the course of the game.

But that's if I'm being charitable.

Re the Times article, I could not help but chuckle at the comment following the article by a Costa in Swansea who is incredulous that Vialli might have read or have any real knowledge of Nietzsche. He amuses himself by thinking there is as much chance of that as Rooney winning the Nobel Prize for Literature.

He cannot get his head around the fact that professional footballers might have some sort of intellectual strand running through their daily existence. It's a strange but not uncommon way of thinking that says we accept a footballer as superior to us on the pitch but cannot conceive of how they might be our intellectual eaqual or superior off it.

While we might continue to feel alienated at their exhorbitant wages it can only make things worse if we had to vizualize them sitting around discussing Struturalist theory while enjoying a glass of fine wine instead of getting largered up and eyeballing the shaved pudenda of a lap dancer at a distance that would make it difficult to separate eyeball from fanny with a credit card.

Strangely, the default assumption about professional sportsmen in this country is that they intellectually challenegd (and you have to admit that most of them do little to challenge that perception) but I don't believe the same could be said for continental Europe.

Sorry my typing is a bit challenged today

I long for the day when we form a cheering crowd welcoming home the edit function as it is carried high on the shoulders of enthusiastic wellwishers

As far as literary footballers go, I seem to recall that Alexei Smertin had a fascination for John Fowles.

Confirmed here.

LINK

Now that the Premier League is more cosmopolitan, do you think it's still the case that players are fearful of openly displaying any kind of intellectual strand? Didn't the whole 'Graeme Le Saux is gay' thing stem from the fact that he read the Guardian, absurd as it sounds?

Just checked the font of all knowledge, Wikipedia: "Despite being heterosexual, Le Saux was dogged by rumours of homosexuality during his playing career. He attributed this to his lack of enthusiasm for the 'typical' footballer's lifestyle, his university background, and the fact that he read liberal broadsheet newspaper, The Guardian. This led to abuse from opposition fans and even players."

Did Pat Nevin, a punk who read poetry who now appears on Newsnight Review every once in a while, ever come in for similar abuse? I don't recall hearing or reading about it if he did.

I chose to play cricket during my school years when I would have loved to have played more football, but because I was looked upon as a bit of an outsider, somebody who liked books and computers, I was never really accepted by the football crowd.

Nick Hornby summed it up best in this LINK article:

“I have always believed in a unified culture - books, sport, music,” he said. “In that way, I am probably quite American. To me, there is no contradiction in loving all those things. In England, we still have this strange debate about whether it is odd to be immersed in football as well as literature.”

@ PeteW #94

As JD has already dealt with the wine side of things I sense a flood of gratuitous references to The 3 Musketeers and Cyrano De Bergerac (another well known Gascon from down the road), in any preview and reportage on the Bourdeaux game

Of course that's Bordeaux if you like the correct spelling of these things

Nevin was a lot more self-confident (and actually probably quite a bit brighter) than Le Saux, so didn't face the same level of stick - ie, he was confident enough to take the piss back, just as strongly. (Dig out his [otherwise disappointing] autobiography and this becomes very clear.)

This might also be a class thing - Nevin was working class; Le Saux was middle class. Football is still very much a working class culture, so Le Saux had a second level of 'suspicion' to fight against whereas Nevin was starting from a more acceptable base.

The other one that always interested me was that Dennis Wise's favourite film was 'Once Upon A Time In America' where most footballers would go for 'Scarface'. That always suggested to me that Wise wasn't quite the thick thug he was painted as.

The fact he got on Vialli - who is clearly as bright as a button ('football's philosopher-king' my ex called him) - also backs this up.

Bluebayou - perhaps when doing so somebody could explain to me why there is an Alxandre Dumas House on Brixton Hill. Was he a secret Sarf Landaner?

Christ, I haven't felt this far out of my depth since my first swimming lesson at school.

What's wrong with a good old 'Why Kalou is shit' or 'Who shall we buy in January' type discussion ? You lot, all having a pissing contest over who knows more literary / wine related information than the others.

It's just blatant discrimination against people like me (e.g. simpletons).

Always suspected that most opponents used the Le Saux / gay thing as they knew it riled him; doesn't excuse it at all but can't help feeling there were times when he didn't help himself particularly. Did meet Mrs. Le Saux once, many moons ago - very attractive (and equally smart) young lady.

Not sure about Dumas, but Napoleon III lived in Chislehurst for a while (at what is now the golf club). That's about the only historical fact one can attribute to Chislehurst, as far as I know, but I'll stand corrected if anyone can uncover any other gems.

Don't Vialli's folks own a fairly large chunk of Tuscany?

PS. Kalou isn't shit and we shouldn't sell him in January.

LINK


There is a memorial to Napoléon Eugène in the woods, and the area's connections with the imperial family are found in many road names and in the local telephone code, 467, which in its earlier format corresponded to the letters IMP (for imperial).

God, Wikipedia is great. Are the caves any good? Ive always wanted to check them out.

It's just blatant discrimination against people like me (e.g. simpletons).

Fiftee
You're not on your own, pehrhaps we should set up our own "Special Needs Blog"

I agree that football is steeped (still) in working class culture and language, hence the suspicion levelled at people like Le Saux, Southgate et al, as well as fans who don't quite fit the traditional monosyllabic thug with associated NF/BNP stereotype. But academic snobbery exists the world over.

I have experienced this first hand, both at the Bridge and at work. The people I used to talk to pre-match last year in the MHL were undoubtedly suspicious of me at first because someone was joining the chat with fairly well grounded views based on a mixture of fact, perception and gut feel. Not just 'Kalou's shit' , but 'Kalou is shit, and here's the evidence that supports my claim supported by clear factual examples' . It also threw them that I was able to use inductive as well as deductive arguments to support the case. Of course when i told them I was also studying Art History as part of the degree, the suspicion levels, especially regarding sexuality went into overload.I never mentioned it again.
At work I am almost entirely defined by my love of Chelsea as well as my work capability. But being a much more ....middle class/academic rich environment I then inverted their viewpoints by openly discussing Art History/Philosophy and my hope to get Honours by adding Creative Writing. In some meetings with 'senior' managers the sound of plum weighted jaws hitting desks when I tear an argument apart based on another's flawed logic or lack of evidence always gives me a perverse pleasure. A Chelsea fan who goes to games who can communicate coherently and discuss high level concepts? Surely some mistake as Private Eye might say.

We'll know a sea change has occurred in football culture when the chant of '"who are ya!" changes to 'You are whom?"

And hasn't the Drogba story got some legs now? Apparently Popeye is quite annoyed by it and shopwed this in his press conference yesterday. The mask is lipping folks, which is good. Better that than the mask eating the face.

Blimey.

Did endeavour to visit the caves once about 20 years ago; they were shut to allow those folks who like dressing up as fictional characters to play with swords and such like. My guitar teacher did claim to have seen Hendrix there, but given that he made Cheech and Chong look like Mary Whitehouse, I'm not sure whether I trusted his long-term memory that much.

Wow, a great discussion on the role class plays in football. You only have to look at the stick Lamps got at West Ham, partly for having his family managing the club, and partly because he was privately educated and got a load of GCSE's (i know they're not worth much, but in the footballing world they are as rare as a job offer for Avram Grant). Sitting in the West Stand upper, you are able to witness the clash between the 'new' Chelsea and the 'old'. For every die hard fanatic, constantly cheering, berating and yelling, there's also a wealthy banker or sloane ranger, who somewhat surprisingly also enjoy haranguing the ref and opposition players with a volley of abuse. That's probably what makes Chelsea great; the sheer diversity. Whether it's on the pitch or off it, with aristocrats like Mourinho, Zola and Desailly working side by side with the proletariat like JT, Joe Cole or Billy McCulloch.

Back to more simple matters. An interesting proposition for January:

LINK

He's Brazilian, so a big thumbs up from Phil, and he's currently in the Segunda División so he's not cup tied and should be cheap or even available on loan. Certainly a more realistic target fro January than Adriano who's already cup-tied.

I also agree that we're finally seeing the first signs of the real Scolari. He was obviously annoyed at Didier's decision to have dinner with Inter representatives and in a couple of weeks time we could see him boil over. Hopefully he can time his explosion for the Utd game and throw a left-hook at old purple nose.

Tricky game tonight. Will we see Didier, in order to protect Anelka (our only fit striker for Sunday? It'll also be the return of Ballack with Deco suspended. No matter how well we play without our no.20 he'll still return for Sunday, so it's up to Malouda or Joe to secure their place with a good game tonight.

I'll go for a tight 1-0.

I'm still trundling through the more obscure sections of last Sunday's hard-copy Observer [it's the gift that keeps on giving all week long] and came across more on the vexed question of player ratings in the Media section of all places - see the bottom paragraph of this:

LINK

it almost invites us to address the issue in our philosophy discussions, but is it too much to hope we could all just agree to disagree - they are only manifestations of a subjective value system after all, or to put it another way "just bleedin' numbers"...

A great article on the importance of the next 5 days:

LINK

"This evening, Chelsea visit Bordeaux, where another away performance such as their last in Europe, against Roma, could mean they enter the final game in Champions League group A in third place of four. Sunday brings the visit of Arsenal, the last of Chelsea’s elite Barclays Premier League rivals to play at Stamford Bridge, Liverpool and Manchester United having departed with a win and a draw respectively. Failure to defeat Arsenal would leave Scolari still searching for his benchmark result, the one that would define his first six months in charge and mark out his squad as more than flat-track bullies, punishing the teams rendered inadequate by the size and breadth of Roman Abramovich’s investment, but falling short against Chelsea’s true rivals."

"The win against Villa represents the last time Chelsea were convincing against a team with potency. The home win against Roma was mediocre and overridden by a damaging, heavier defeat in the away leg, and Liverpool’s win at Stamford Bridge put paid to any fantasies that Chelsea would be able to turn the title race into a procession. Chelsea were still stumbling on Saturday when they drew at home against Newcastle and failed to relinquish first position only because Liverpool proved equally ineffective against Fulham."

"Yet the most peculiar thing about this crisis is that it may not become one at all. It could equally swing all the way to triumph."

"By Sunday night, Scolari could be said to have performed very well, considering this is his first job in European club management, or to be walking a tightrope, considering the demands of the job. We know what would have been said of Grant, for instance, had he failed to beat every good team he played in the league or had been left vulnerable in the final round of Champions League group games."

"What will be interesting is the reaction of Abramovich if Scolari succeeds in delivering thrilling football but without the added bounty of trophies. It has long been argued that, for his dollar, the owner wants to be entertained, and that is his right, but there was little more entertaining than the Champions League final last season and when that ended in defeat, the man in charge got the bullet. Scolari is well liked in the English game, for his manner, his football and for bringing a feel-good factor to Chelsea. The next five days, however, test the true substance of his administration."

As somebody who has some experience in sports journalism, I can reveal that the players ratings as reproduced by national newspapers are not collated in a way that any responsible student of statistics would recognise as academic or professional.

More along the lines of 'let's give Parker an 8, he's in my fantasy team', 'We've too many 7s, drop Cole to 6' and 'I forgot he was even playing, so mark him 5'. On occasion, ratings were also changed to physically smaller numbers (the 7 in particular) as this would make it easier to 'squeeze' leading (the space between words and lines) should you need to 'lose a line' or get rid of a 'widow', if I may use the jargon of the profession.

I'm sure standards are far higher on this esteemed blog, however.

By the way, I apologise if the above insight leaves some of you feeling cheated and disillusioned.

I'm sure standards are far higher on this esteemed blog, however.

Absolutely. My player ratings are in no way influenced by what I happen to be drinking at the time.

Next week - players rated as different types of Belgian beer...

Given the number of raspberries that get directed at poor old Kalou every week, I suspect he's going to be the Frambozen.

Then there's Super Frankie Lambic, that's an easy one.

Riccy's tonsure and general air of quiet composure make him the Trappist beer.

Hope that the lads as a unit can do the Dubbel.

(That's enough Belgian beers. Ed.)

As Jean Claude Van Damme might have said - he's the nearest to a Belgian philosopher that I know - the Duvel is in the detail

An Awful first half. Slow, plodding and no ideas. It's worryingly similar to the Cluj and Roma games where the team hasn't even reached the opposition's goal yet. Will we resort to long balls towards Didier in the second half? The most entertaining part has been watching Ivanovic and JT play their own personal game of who can kick it closest to the moon. Two magnificent hoofs from them.

Can someone please shoot the stadium announcer and, if they have any rounds of ammo left, seek out the drummer.

The performance is irritating enough but the background noise is going to tip me over the edge!

Agree...the first half performance was borderline frustrating...

Bordeaux made us look like a second rate bunch of amateurs, they're all over us..

Thank the Lord Almighty that Petr Cech is awake tonight..if no-one else is!!!!

Come on Chels...wake up ffs!!!!!

Stinking

What can i say??
Sh**e game..
Sh**e performance..
Sh**e result..

Aaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! >:(

So we fail again in another big game. Does Phil know how to beat a difficult team? As Martin Samuel's article said, this and the Arsenal game are crucial to defining our and more importantly Phil's prospects. We're probably going to finish second in this piss easy group which means we'll draw one of the big boys like Barca and judging by the way we've been playing so far in this tournament, who says we've even got a chance of making it past them. A very poor showing with only 2 shots on target i think. Add to that Lamps' red card.

The Arsenal game is now huge for Phil's reputation in my eyes. So what we've played well against the small sides and so what he's won a world cup, he has to show he can beat the big teams. I know a certain R. Abramovich will share my sentiment as he's paying £6m/yr for the Premiership or the CL and to win either of those you have to be able to beat the best. At the moment, we simply can't.

No plus points at all,very dismal display in all areas.I feel sorry for all the travelling fans who don't deserve to put up with this rubbish. I suppose the usual suspects will come on here and tell everyone who has an opinion that we're panicking and to calm down,we're top of the league etc,etc.Please tell us how much more has to happen before we're allowed to panick?
These performances are simply not good enough and if we don't win on Sunday,what will the next excuse be?

Well soon Phil will come under pressure. We SHOULD still go through but now in second, which makes the journey to Rome look very very difficult indeed. Secondly is the problem of Arsenal on Sunday. I hated Avram with every bone in my body but if he was in the same position as Phil he'd be getting a lot more criticism. Unable to beat any good (Utd, Liverpool, Spurs, Roma) or even well organised poor side (Cluj, Newcastle, Bordeaux), the side looks one-dimensional and we have no plan B once the pretty stuff doesn't come off. Yeah we're top of the league but if we don't beat the Arse on Sunday then our 3 best chances of gaining a lead ahead of the other members of the Big 4 would have gone after failing 3 times at home.

It may be premature to say this, but does Phil actually have the tactical nous to beat the best sides? I'm seriously wondering if knows how to outwit the likes of Benitez, Fergie or Jose when we meet Inter in the next round. And if he doesn't, then his friendly image and beautiful football will be forgotten as Roman wields the axe. After all who wants to see us turn into Arsenal? A side who plays pretty passing football but who don't win anything.

We've known it for a while but the Arsenal game is a MUST MUST win. If not then i fear the headlines on Monday of another big game failure.

Is that the communal drone of panic buttons being hit?

Yes it was shite, shite and thrice shite, but sometimes you just have to overcome adversity. We didn't lose, but were lucky not to lose. Had we held out for the win, no doubt several amongst us would have praised a Mourinho-esque victory. Oh, and for the record, Inter lost at home tonight to Panathanaikos!

Good point about Avram, but he was 'running' a good side that is well documented to have been virtually running itself after Mourinho left. Popeye knows about big games but is new to this type of football at this level and so is learning. Hopefully the lessons learnt will serve us well later at the crunch part of the season, and lest you all start thinking of jumping from windows, look at Liverpool and how each year they seem to scrape out of their group but go on to do quite well.

What threw me tonight and probably Chelsea was the Rose wine that Bordeaux had spilt over their shirts, and there's me thinking that a Red wine is far more prestigious!

I have to admit I am becoming extremely concerned with the players attitude in games.

At first I thought Big Phil was saying to them to play at a slower tempo and rest for the premiership game at the weekend as done in the away game vs Cluj.

But now I simply believe the players look like they just don't care and have low levels of concentration.

For a manager famed for bringing confidence and morale to a team and building it up game by game, it is disappointing.

Maybe the strictness has come out of the training camp and it is beginning to show on the field.

It will be a boring game at the bridge this weekend, our only hope with Anelka getting one over his old side.

I hated Ray "pass it backwards" Wilkins when he was here before and I am starting to remember why :p Lets get Clarke back :D

Couple of thoughts-

Obviously it didn't go well. Thought the refereeing was unfair- Bordeaux was giving as good as they got, only with more sneak. Once DeBleekere caught on Bordeaux slowed down. But the early card to Terry really didn't help.

Malouda looks useful in CL games. In games where the referee protects the skill players (again, too much in my opinion tonight) he has the ability to break through. In the PL he just gets taken down. But I do think his assist numbers provided above matter- he provides good service. If he started to put away his own chances he'd be quite formidable. I think he has far more potential than Kalou does going forward.

Didn't like either Lampard card.

Anelka seems to worth every penny now- his goal tonight may have been the difference between qualification and the used-to-be-UEFA-cup. I'd love to know if he and Drogba can play together, as tonight seemed to be the kind of game that it might work- pump the ball to Drogba, have Anelka take the chest-down and sneak through. It seems it will be quite a while before we find this out.

Obviously the result is not good- but this appears to be a good warm up for Arsenal. Still, as with the Roma result, we haven't learned how to defeat teams that are willing to run harder than we will. When our passing isn't perfectly on, Roma and Bordeax have shown that teams with more hustle can get results.

So, there are 2 ways to beat us now- park the bus, or have your skill players play at 100mph and make sure to have a referee that sees Chelsea as thugs. With the movement we have, why we can't play faster is beyond me.

Other thoughts-
Sell Alex, bring up Mancienne. This is the way of the profitable club, no?
I have the sneaking suspicion our team would be quite different with Robinho.

Had to depend on the good offices of Radio London so didn't see the game.

It sounded like after a very poor first half we got on top and stopped Bordeaux getting chances then scored.

I then expected a not fully fit Drogba who was stripped to go back to the bench and Anelka to carry on as his pace would be useful as gaps appeared when Bordeaux pressed forward. There is the argument that he was being saved for Sunday but we seemed to lose our grip. I'd like to know what those whwo saw it thought.

Unlike Cluj and Roma away, we scored first and despite a poor performance should have taken the points. So I don't think its the same problem as our league form at home. We do seem to have a problem away in Europe.

@128

Yes, looked like Anelka is being saved, but it also had to do with the fact that he was getting no service. The change was tactical, and having Anelka on wouldn't have changed the result, nor would it have stopped Bordeaux's goal.

Drogba just isn't match fit yet. Hopefully he is working hard in training- we need him in top form when he comes back.

No way we should have taken the points. Yes, I would have taken them, but it would have been a great escape. Bordeaux were upset not to win that game. That said, a referee that called fouls both ways would have changed the flow of the game quite a bit.