Premier League: Chelsea 1 - 1 Bolton Wanderers
Monday, 12 May 08, 07:03 AM · Comments (345)
Match reports
The Guardian, Dominic Fifield: "Any sense of choking anti-climax which might normally have strangled Chelsea appeared to have eased by the time this squad strolled through their post-match lap of honour in the sunshine. The likelihood of their pursuit of Manchester United yielding the Premier League title had always been slim. In the end those efforts did indeed prove futile, though there were still smiles from the players and appreciation from the fans in the aftermath."
Daily Telegraph, Clive Tyldesley: "The three point gap that separated United and Chelsea at the end of Avram Grant’s first game in charge last September, had been reduced to two at the end of the final fraught afternoon of the season. Beaten by a short head. Grant had the satisfaction of seeing another substitution pay dividends when Andriy Shevchenko put his team in front against an obdurate Bolton. But United were always in control of both theirs and Chelsea’s destiny at Wigan, and Grant’s day fell flat when Matthew Taylor scored a late equaliser for the visitors."
The Times, Matt Dickinson: "See you in Moscow, Avram Grant said to those fans who remained for the post-match lap of honour. They will see a Chelsea team for the Champions League final in Russia, but probably not the rather listless lot who played out a draw in the final domestic game of the season. The chance to make history should see to that. It should force Didier Drogba to concentrate on his game rather than picking a pathetic squabble with the inoffensive Gavin McCann. It should make Alex focus instead of ceding an equaliser with a sloppy clearance. It should get Joe Cole crossing to the near post rather than five yards over the bar."
The Independent, Jason Burt: "In the end it did not go down to goal difference. Chelsea conceded with almost the last kick thanks to a piece of appalling defending by Alex - a stand-in for the injured Ricardo Carvalho - which gave the indefatigable Matt Taylor the opportunity to drive a sweet, left-foot shot through Cech's legs. By then, though, the game was up."
Official Chelsea FC Website, Christian Collison: "Chelsea finished yet another season unbeaten at Stamford Bridge but we were held by Bolton to a 1-1 draw."
The goals
62' Shevchenko 1-0 90' Taylor 1-1
The opening credits
I left the American Café having consumed my usual pre-match meal thus completing all rituals as usual. I felt like an airline pilot ticking all the pre-flight check boxes. The nerves were jangling as the great moment approached, the moment that had been anticipated all season. My god, this was worse than my first date, or meeting my first girlfriend's dad. I lost my virginity feeling cooler and less nervous than this! I mean, come on, I’m 46 for fuck's sake, and just how bad could it be? (to be continued...)
The good bits you see in the trailers
- Joe Cole. Like a pesky swarm of annoyed wasps he buzzed the Bolton defence endlessly. A man playing for a Champions League place perhaps? Annoyingly, and true to form for the whole team, the final ball was often not as good as one might hope. But he was trying, and bursting blood vessels for the team today, and for me that’s all I ask... that the players put the same effort into playing that I do watching. Remember lads, if you read this, I kick every ball, I make every tackle, head every ball and score or concede every goal you do. So do 36,000 others. You lot have it easy, you just play the game.
- The atmosphere. I mean this was Bolton for fuck's sake! The weather played a huge part and the atmosphere was right in the ‘party zone’, with stirring renditions of the (for me, newly learned) ‘Ohhhhhh, Arne Riise’ song and the ‘We’re going to Moscow’ song. I like footie during the cold, wet, dark winter months, despite being a child of the Sun and actually detesting winter, but it has to be said when it’s 29°C and sunny, then there are precious better places to be than Stamford Bridge.
- Michael Ballack. Yet another assured performance. Frank Lampard had a good game as well, but when John Terry went off let’s be honest, the captain's armband should be passed to Ze German. He’s captain of Germany after all!
- Michael ‘The Bison’ Essien. Rampaging in midfield of late, today he started in his newly found right-back role and then moved to centre-back replacing Terry. However, he’s not quite as good there as he is at right-back, but at this point the defence was looking pretty makeshift, with Juliano Belletti coming on and no Terry or Ricardo Carvalho in the middle. It was quite likely we’d concede a goal really.
- Bolton. Fans and team (Gavin McCann apart). Blimey they packed the away end with some of the noisiest buggers I’ve heard for a while. I mean this is a set of fans that have the same feeling of ‘meh’ toward their manager as many of us do, but still they sang and chanted. At the final whistle you’d have thought they’d just won the Premiership, not barely survived relegation. As for the team, a committed display of dogged defending, riding your luck and playing to the end. The football may not be great, but when we have resorted to hoofing the long ball for many games this season, maybe we should give them some credit for being a pain in our arse yet again.
The crap bits with all the lovey dovey bollocks
- The injury to John Terry. How unlucky is this bloke? At a time when he’s been keeping his little tantrums against the officials under control, got his former imperious form back, and seemed to have recovered from all the knocks and has been generally looking like the Captain Marvel we all know and love he then collides with the hapless Petr Cech and looks like he’s taken a serious knock again. I heard after the game that it was a dislocated elbow (ouch!) but that Ironman has had it popped back into place and he reckons he’ll play in Moscow. Ironman, yep, I like that.
- The subbing of Joe Cole. I’ve stood up for Avram Grant recently as he has deserved credit. However, his consistent subbing of Cole is really grating now. Joe can be a liability but today he was the best man holding the ball up for us, he had Bolton defenders crying for nappies with his dribbles and jinks. We were a goal up and despite having our usual 10 minute post-goal attack of narcolepsy seemed to be getting back on top of the game. Then he subs Cole. And brings on John Mikel Obi. He might as well have put a message on the video screens saying “We’re gonna try and hold this lead”. It was a cobblers decision and after that the equaliser seemed inevitable. How many times has Cole been subbed and then we’ve conceded? I can count two occasions, notably Spurs away and again today. That’s not tactical genius is it?
- Our commitment. It was obvious with 10 minutes or less left that the boys knew the Wigan score, so then we started thinking it was a training game and that we could play silly buggers across the pitch, making unforced errors. Again, the inevitable seemed to be about to strike.
- The ‘last few seconds’ equaliser. This is desperate now. This is more than bad luck, it's lack of focus, lack of concentration, lack of passion, lack of commitment, lack of care and a dereliction of duty that in the forces would lead to a court martial. That’s seven home draws (Blackburn, Fulham, Liverpool, Aston Villa, Everton, Wigan and Bolton) with four games being drawn in the last few seconds (Aston Villa, Everton, Wigan and Bolton). Add the Spurs away game into the equation, having led four times that game and it’s not hard to see a key reason why we’re not toasting ourselves as champions again tonight.
- Neil Barnett. Comes onto the pitch after the game to regale us with the achievement that “we’ve finished with highest ever points total for second place”. Well, whoopy-fucking-do. Let’s all have a street party for finishing second again. This arrogant smarmy smart arse comes on every week and tempts fate by telling us how great our home record is (as if we don’t know). Neil, stop patronizing us, and stop telling us how good we are after shite results like this.
The bits that should have been left behind in the edit suite
- Petr Cech. Is he living with Dale Winton? Is he studying goalkeeping at the Larry Grayson Goalkeeping Academy? What the fuck has happened to the man this season? Until now I’ve been willing to forgive the odd blunder, after all every keeper has a nightmare from time to time. But this season has been littered... no soiled... no tainted by his cock ups. There are too many to mention here, but since Christophe Lollichon has come in his punching is about as robust as five day old celery, he punts the ball aimlessly up the field and he flaps at crosses like Stevie Wonder wearing lead lined boots. A rubbish performance today, topped only by...
- Petr Cech. His outfit this time. You’re kidding me right? This is supposed to make him look ‘big’ to oncoming attackers? I think he dazzled himself with it today. That sort of thing is okay if you work on a railway line, but for the football pitch... well surely the acid casualty that came up with that scheme needs severe treatment in a rehab clinic.
Player ratings
Discussed at length with Chelsea Bob, Big Dave and Mrs Chelsea Bob.
- Petr Cech: Arse gravy. Very smelly performance today - 4/10.
- Michael Essien: Bisto gravy. Immense again - 8/10.
- John Terry: Ironman. Maybe even tougher - 8/10.
- Ashley Cole: The Wicker Man. Got burnt a bit by the Bolton Giants - 7/10.
- Alex: The Jolly Green Giant. Looks like the bloke who says ‘Yarp’ in Hot Fuzz! The goal was his fault because he failed to clear properly, but to be fair, he’s been a good stand-in this season - 7.5/10.
- Michael Ballack: The Red Baron. Peerless but couldn’t make the breakthrough - 8.5/10.
- Claude Makelele: Yoda. Old and wise, but you wouldn’t want him running to get your dinner - 7/10.
- Frank Lampard: Lean, mean fighting machine - 8/10.
- Joe Cole: Remember The Herbs? I’m Dill the Dog, I’m a dog named Dill? That’s Joe Cole, running around like a loony, but his best game for a few weeks - 8.5/10.
- Florent Malouda: I thought it was Salomon Kalou? Did good stuff but then failed to engage brain. He’s improved, but he’s no Arjen Robben though - 7/10.
- Didier Drogba: Frustrating and brilliant in equal measures. Unlucky not to score but gave the ball away loads as well. May not make the Champions League final because of a knee injury - 7.5/10.
- Andriy Shevchenko (sub): Held the ball well, didn’t moan, lacks pace, still class and to be honest I’d keep him and let him drop into the Sparky Hughes role - 8/10.
- John Mikel Obi (sub): Should have started in place of Makelele - 7/10.
- Juliano Belletti (sub): Did OK, and can undoubtedly cross a ball - 7.5/10.
- Overall team performance: Back to the drawing board - 7/10.
Man of the Match
Joe Cole. A bright incandescent light in a sea of low energy bulbs.
The end credits
... what was the worst that could happen? Get a grip I thought. But it was a big moment. I was going to meet the one and only Jonathan Dyer!
It was fine of course. We spent 25 minutes queuing at the bar which prompted the brainwave of a double round from me. Well it was bloody hot outside and pint number one would always be knocked over pretty quickly! Anyway, we had a great chat, discovered a bit about each other, not least that we’re not a million miles from each other next season in the Matthew Harding Upper. It was great to meet Peter as well. I feel more beers being consumed as we right the wrongs of Chelsea FC.
A rather flat end to the day as Bolton’s last ditch goal was like a bucket of water on an already spent firework. I think a victory would have seen more fans stay to appreciate the lap of honour after the game. In the end, we played fantastic at times and like pit ponies at others. And Manchester United were worthy Champions. They scored more, conceded less and didn’t draw seven games at home, nor did they concede many late goals. They annihilated Newcastle United twice, and ripped a fair few other teams to bits, and despite how much you hate him they have a major star in Cristiano Ronaldo. Congratulations to them.
But I hate losing. I hate finishing second. I hate having nothing to show. I am a very bad loser! As I said to Jonathan, if losing doesn’t ruin your day then you’re not a real footie fan. We didn’t lose the game but we lost the Premiership, and we have nobody to blame but ourselves. We built a core of the team on African players with little or no comparable back up. We suffered injuries and rushed players back too soon (in my view), and despite a great away record we drew too many games that we should have won. Is this down to Grant? Well. I’ll leave that thought to form part of my post-season review, along with my ins and outs.
My thanks to Nick, Jonathan, Mark and everyone who contributes to the blog. You’ve all helped make this, for me, a real passion. That’s my last review this season as I’m in France next week for the Champions League final and the likelihood is I’ll have ‘read only’ access at best to the blog.
On a final note, thanks to everyone at Chelsea Football Club, but especially to the players. We praise and criticise you in almost equal measure, but you are part of our life. You drive us mad with frustration one minute and wild with ecstasy the next. We love you, we hate you, we’re demanding, you’re demanding, we want you, then we don’t want you. We’re irrational and fickle. One minute you’re our hero, the next you’re our pantomime villain. It’s like being lovers without the sex. But through everything you know one thing. We’re all behind you, living and breathing every kick, every ball, every goal and everything Chelsea. We ask just one more thing...
Bring home the Champions League and give us something memorable to smile about this season that might even top beating Liverpool in the semi-finals.
As Mrs Balboa famously once said after coming out of a coma having had the hairiest baby ever seen on screen... she looked to the distraught out of shape Rocky, smiled and whispered...
“Do me one favour...”
“Anything,” came the reply.
“Win... win.”
*Cue the Rocky ‘Getting Stronger’ anthem and Tony Glover runs off down the road hurdling hedgerows, punching the air... and fade*
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I watched some of the Wigan game once we went one up and the good news is they made Man U look very ordinary at times and should have scored. On this form we have a real chance of rubbing Man U's faces in the Moscow dirt.
If I had a choice at the beginning of the season I would have been happy to win the CL and given our form over the season coming second and qualifying for CL automatically is a good result. But like Tony I hate losing and I hate even more conceding goals in the last minute. Yes we still have our home record in tact for another season but the goal really put a damper on a sunny day. However the bright side is we shall never be referred too as the first team to lose the PL on goal difference !
Roll on 21st and a chance to wipe the smile of the Mancs faces!
KTBFFH
Real disappointing night, but in reality nothing anyone but the most optomistic Blue didn't expect.
Funny how different people see it differently though...... For me Joe Cole was incredibly frustrating and I wasn't unhappy to see him hauled off this time.
I got the impression the team were going through the motions, and I expect a much more clinical performance with the Mancs in Moscow. The pub we watched at showed both games at the same time, and Wigan really gave them a shake, so we can have absolutely no complaints about 'Brucie' not trying.
It seems Terry ( he reminds me of the decapitated Knight from Monty Python!) is likely to play in Moscow, which is great firstly because he is a true leader, but moreso because to play there without him would have been very disappointing for him.
Had to wonder if we were watching the last of Didier at the Bridge..... If we were your comment really sums up his entire Chelsea career.. ' Frustrating and brilliant in equal measure".
As for Avram, regardless of what happens in Moscow, I believe he has done enough to be given another year to mould his own side. I wouldn't swap him for Rijkaard, Sven or, at this stage Zola. I would swap him for Jose, but we all know that is never going to happen.
I hate losing and to finish second so many times is a real kick in the teeth. But he does appear to be a fast learner. Let's hope he has learned how to win, before we get to Moscow.
KTBFFH!
Good one Mr. Glover.
I would be great if I could run into you guys some day. Maybe next season.
Anyhow, it was a pretty decent season. Hope to see some more of this, of course with sweeter endings, next season.
Best of luck to the blue lot, all of you, all over the world.
(@ Peter, stock up on your sleep for next season)
Take care, stay safe.
May Moscow be painted blue. May the Kremlin be painted blue.
GO BLUES !!
I expected us and Manu to both win yesterday, so was resigned to the idea of losing out on goal difference, but that last minute equaliser was disappointing, and the respective results showed what has been the real difference this season. I'm NOT resigned to the idea of them doing the double, and us ending up with nothing though!
Whilst I'm still not convinced that AG should stay, I give him credit for what he has achieved. I don't hold the contempt for him that I did intially, partly because results speak for themselves, and partly because I warmed to his understated style once he stopped the party line stuff (we were boring but now we're going to play exciting attacking football etc.) I'd just like to see who might be offered as an alternative, but if he stays, and given a year with players of his choice doesn't improve on this year in terms of trophies, I'll be wanting to see evidence of the flair football he's been given license to create.
I give the players more credit for their performances this year because it seemed like a lot of the time they were just getting on with what they'd already been doing, and kept a good spirit despite various disruptive influences that could have had more impact at the time - ANC/injuries etc. It's been said before that with a squad of this strength it gets harder to improve it, but if as most expect there will be a few departures this summer then I'm looking forward to seeing how the squad will be improved, if Bosingwa is the answer to the right-back conundrum, then I expect the midfield and attack to be strengthened depending on who goes/stays, and whether AG/? decides to stick with 4-3-3.
I'm so looking forward to that night on the big stage in Moscow though, and showing them that on our day we can be the best in the world.
Good review TONY and enjoy yourself in France..
Thought the boys put up a good performance yesterday but God..didn't they struggle to pierce Bolton's defence?!!! I was rarher arrogant in saying we'd slaughter them 3-0. Should've given them more credit because they put up a good, hard fight..
I got a bit agitated to put it mildly when i heard Man Ure got their "token penalty" but felt the pressure ease somewhat when Sheva got his goal..then as TONY said, it was pretty obvious that everyone on the pitch knew that Giggs had got a 2nd goal for Utd because they got sloppy and let in the equaliser..
Would've been fantastic to end the season on equal points with only goal difference between us but it just wasn't to be..and we do still have Moscow to look forward to..
Still gutted this morning but am still really proud of the boys for finishing a very close (painful)2nd..even though i did lose a £100 bet yesterday..
Hope to win it back in Russia!!
Well done Chels for a great season, love you all x x x
Thought Avram was brave to go on the lap of honour because it would have been humiliating for him had he got jeered. In fact he got treated rather well and received a generous round of applause.
I'll now have to add Bolton to the list of teams I hope we'll cause severe damage to at some point in the future, like getting a win that causes them to be relegated, sent into administration and their stadium dismantled to be recycled into a statue of the North West (statue could be Steve Bruce taking it up the tail pipe from Sir Alex). I thought Bolton were niggly and just came to pick a fight and spoil our fun. As for their fans cheering when they heard ManUre were winning proves they were most unpleasant and unwelcome guests; and we didn't even print "Fancy Dress" on the invite!
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No matter what, im just proud of the lads. Chins up guys and lets stand tall against the red sea for the next few days.
But i wont be for long if we bring the European Cup back to SW6...
I'm fairly certain Adrian wouldn't have said "favor" with a "u"...