Premier League: Chelsea 4 - 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers... Newspaper reaction, Goal videos, Match report, Player ratings
Saturday, 21 November 09, 06:17 PM · Comments (66)
Newspaper reports
The Observer, Sachin Nakrani: "The only consolation for Wolves on a sodden day at Stamford Bridge was that they did not emulate their predecessors. The last time the Midlands club were in the Premier League they conceded five goals on each of the two occasions they faced Chelsea. It was only four this time around but that should not disguise the complete and utter domination of Carlo Ancelotti's side on a day when they once again performed like champions-elect."
Sunday Telegraph, Gerry Cox: "For most teams, losing the spine of your side through injuries to four international superstars might cause a problem or two. But Chelsea overcame the loss of Didier Drogba, Deco, Frank Lampard and Michael Ballack to rack up a comfortable win over Wolverhampton Wanderers, increasing their lead at the top of the Premiership and setting a new club record of 12 successive home victories."
Sunday Times, Nick Townsend: "The worrying thing for Chelsea’s rivals is not only did the established luminaries embark on a record-breaking afternoon against Wolves, but Carlo Ancelotti used the opportunity to usher in a propitious future."
Official Chelsea FC Website: "Chelsea achieved our 12th consecutive victory and 10th straight clean sheet at home today as we thumped Wolves 4-0 at Stamford Bridge."
The goals
5' Malouda 1-0
12' Essien 2-0
22' Essien 3-0
56' J. Cole 4-0
The preamble
Well, it seems that the best way to get back at an evil genius is to publicly berate him about selecting you for a losing game report because since then the reports have all been winning ones, and in some style. Just a few short weeks ago I watched the Blackburn culling, and nearly undid all the good doctor's work with Essien's 30 yard corker. This time, now back to full health, no stitches to snap and full rotary torso movement restored, I get to sit through a game of so many delights it’s hard to know where to start. So, we’ll try the rubbish journey in London Town with the roads full of the very people who shouldn’t be allowed within five miles of a car seemingly driving aimlessly around in some sort of Doctor Who villain inspired trance, with the sole purpose of blocking The Petersfield Four (me and my mates) from getting to the game. Couple that with Chelsea Bob’s blinding decision to get Big Dave to take a detour through some delightful Surrey countryside with no clue of where we were and no map, our arrival at the café at 14:00 meant no time to chew the Chelsea/football/music/politics fat with that fine gentleman the Good Lord Kaiser Jonny. It was like Stevie Wonder driving under the navigation skills of Roy Orbison (that should please the young ‘uns of this manor).
Still the food was as ever great and we actually got see some pre-match aggro between a group of young, daft, possibly socially relaxed and boisterous Wolves fans and a Chelsea fan who obviously found their declarations of love for Wolves through the medium of song rather beyond the pale. Eventually as said Chelsea fan became more agitated the inevitable figure of Inspector Knacker and his minions moved in. Wolves fans were summarily grouped together and blocked from going any further, and one rather pathetic and rather sad Chelsea fan being shouted at and humiliated by Inspector Knacker whilst pinned to the wall of the main entrance (tube station end) by a horse so big that it would feed a family of four for a month. If the family were French of course. A mildly exciting moment as the rain began to pour down...
The game
OK. My usual glass half empty demeanour meant that I’d predicted a dour 1-0 win against a team I had thought would come and park the charabanc. Seemingly everyone else had predicted, and subsequently put their money where their mouths were, a 3-0 win. This yet again proves the theory I have submitted for my PHD in Footie Guruism, that in general nobody knows anything about football. Nobody... fans, players, coaches, pundits, governing officials, refs, chairmen, chief execs, groundsmen, physios etc... NO-ONE KNOWS A THING ABOUT FOOTBALL. It’s all guesswork when all is said and done.
At this point I could talk tactics, but I won’t because as I keep saying they bore the fucking life out of me. Need a cure for insomnia? Look at some chalkboards. And then run formations though your mind. Better than a general anaesthetic or a night on the Purple Haze (available in all the best Coffee Bars Amsterdam has to offer). Suffice it to say both teams would start with 11 players. We’d made several changes due to the absence of Drogba, Lamps, Ballack and Deco (no loss there then), including starts for Kalou, Joey Cole, Malouda and rather heart-warmingly young Master Mikel Obi. Most of the Wolves players seemed to be suffixed with the word ‘Who?’ I do not intend any offence toward to any visiting Wolves fans.
After four minutes of the game the best chance had fallen to Wolves, and a few fans in my locale were scratching heads and arses as to why we’d not scored within the first 30 seconds. The blind faith of some fans never ceases to amaze and occasionally appall me. Within five minutes though we’d broken up the field and Malouda ran menacingly at the panicking Wolves defence. I guess even the most evangelical of Chelsea fans thought it might go wide or high, but then with a stunning, vicious and bending strike Malouda had got the opener. Hats off sir, a truly marvellous strike that nearly made me think about retracting my earlier Frenchism regarding their penchant for the odd slice of ‘le cheval’. At this point one imagines that any game plan McCarthy’s motley crew had decided on was already starting to burn from the corner as the flame lit by Malouda’s strike started to spread across the pages. Within 20 minutes... yes... 20 minutes we were 3-0 up with the marvellous Essien grabbing a brace. Remember my comments about us not missing Frank? Essien was superb for the whole game under my assumption that he’d slotted into the Frank role at the tip of the Rhinestone... Ruby... Emerald... whatever. We were rampant, charging forward and frankly Wolves were unravelling as the ashes of their game plan smouldered away. We passed, we flicked, we tricked, we shot, we tackled and we passed some more. It was, at times, exhibition stuff. A joy to watch and the type of football you can’t ever tire of. The last five minutes of the half were, and I mean this literally, a stroll in the park.
After a refreshing pint of Chelsea Ale (thanks to Attilio and Tony again) we reconvened for an expected second half goal fest. It never really happened though, the game was won and we continued to control every part of the pitch without trying too hard. It was hard to imagine what Mick McCarthy could possibly have said to his team at half time to lift them. I like to think he walked in the dressing room, shrugged his shoulders and led the team into a few versus of Kumbaya. We did get a goal though to appease us in the Matthew Harding Upper through some fantastic work again by my current favourite player Nic Anelka, a good tee up by Kalou (still displaying his frustrating Kalou-lessness at times though) and a finish from the ever busy Joe Cole. Other chances came and went and Wolves even forced a Gordon Banks moment from Cech, which was roundly applauded by the Matthew Harding crowd.
The other key thing to note was Carlo’s refreshing decision to use the game as a chance for some experience for three of our more promising youngsters. Fabio Borini, Gael Kakuta and Nemanya Matic all got their place on the bench today and all got a reasonable bit of playing time. Yes, we were 4-0 up, and yes Wolves were pretty ragged by now, but it was good to see. Borini looks tricky and fast, Matic tall, strong and skilful. But the real excitement was caused by an impudent, almost arrogantly confident debut for our controversial signing Kakuta. Phew, what a player he looks. Fast, strong, supremely skilful and not scared to go for goal or play impudent tricks and passes. As someone behind me noted wryly ‘Wonder what he’ll be like when his confidence problem disappears?’. Another, albeit rather optimistically, said it was like watching a young Pele. Now I remember being mesmerised by Pele in the 1970 World Cup when he was already universally agreed to be the best player the world had ever seen to that point (and for me to this very day), and with every young Argentinean starlet being hailed as the new Maradona, to compare Kakuta to Pele after a 20 minute spell is stretching things a bit. But if he is a young Pele then we are very very lucky indeed. He was very good and very exciting. The crowd knew it as well as he very nearly introduced himself with a goal from the right hand side and another rasping shot missing narrowly.
A change to the Good, Bad and Ugly sections' titles, but you get the drift, and after seeing Rod Stewart on Graham Norton this and his wife in the audience I wanted an excuse to include any reference to Penny Lancaster that I could. He is a very lucky man. Who said living a life of shagging, football, music and drinking was bad for you? Mister Stewart seems to have done OK from it. I remember stating this preferred life choice to my teacher when taking my O-Levels. Why did my careers officer at school push me away from that dream?
The Penny Lancaster section
- Florent Malouda – a good game today, looked calm on the ball and presumably watching Anelka for lessons in how to influence games and win friends in the crowd.
- Anelka. World class again.
- The football. Stylish, controlled, exciting, innovative and delightful.
- Liverpool’s draw and Arsenal's defeat. Need I say more?
- Kakuta and his friends. The future's bright, the future's Arnesen’s academy.
- Everyone in the team. Big names missing but some points to be proved today by the understudies and rather successfully.
- John Mikel Obi. Has gone off the boil a bit and suffered injury wise, but today was back to his calm and confident best.
The Jedwards (speaks for itself)
- Wolves fans. Tried singing, failed. Went deathly quiet until a chorus of ‘4-0 and you still don’t sing’ was drowned out by ‘4-0 and you’re going down’ when they went deathly quiet again.
- The blokes behind me and to the right who spent the match talking about building. Duller than chalkboards and formations.
- Manchester United dumping Everton 3-0 to make the eight point gap very short lived.
The Susan Boyle Award (good singer maybe, but come on...)
- My driver, Big Dave and navigator Chelsea Bob. Next time I’ll take the Sat nav.
- Mr Idiot. The only Chelsea fan even remotely bothered by the boisterous Wolverhampton youth choir walking down Fulham Road.
Player ratings
- Petr Cech – 8/10 – Still dodgy and less than commanding on crosses, but a truly fantastic save from Ebanks-Blake’s worryingly free header.
- Juliano Belletti – 7/10 – Nice to know he’s there for us...
- John Terry – 8/10 – Magnificent. Again.
- Alex – 7/10 – A tad ponderous but rarely troubled. Needs games to get back to last season's sharpness.
- John Mikel Obi – 8/10 – One of our brightest prospects back in the saddle and playing well.
- Ashley Cole – 8.5/10 – Injured was he? Well, it’s just a guess but I’m of the opinion that he’s full recovered. Superb today. The best wing back in the world.
- Joe Cole – 8/10 – All over the pitch, busy, harassing, tackling and irritating the life out of Wolves. Surely he’ll be off to South Africa?
- Salomon Kalou – 7/10 – From good to frustrating. Archetypal Kalou-less.
- Michael Essien – 9/10 – A beast again and revelling in a more forward role.
- Nicolas Anelka – 9/10 – A truly world class player enjoying his football and developing into the support striker role superbly. The best ball player in the league for me.
- Florent Malouda – 8/10 – If only he would play like this more consistently.
- Gael Kakuta (sub for Anelka) – 88/100 – A thrilling debut, crowd pleasing and confident. Fingers crossed he is that good because if he is then we have a potential footballing megastar.
- Nemanja Matic (sub for Malouda) – 84/100 – What’s not too like? To coin a cliché, a great touch for a big man.
- Fabio Borini (sub for Kalou) – 83/100 – Fast, like Owen in his youth and another bright prospect.
- Overall Team Performance – 9/10.
Man of the Match
I love Anelka at the moment. But today belonged the man replacing Lampard at the tip of our iceberg lettuce formation thingy. Michael Essien didn’t quite get the hat-trick today but boy did he deserve one. I just can’t help wondering if we’re missing a trick using him as the holding midfielder when he can inflict this damage in a more forward role.
Final thoughts
The kids got a game. The bench-warmers stood up to the plate. We buried yet another team at Stamford Bridge that the Scolari reign might have struggled to beat. The goal difference is now better than Arsenal’s. The detestable Liverpool drew and are now 13 points adrift of us. Arsenal lost unexpectedly. We’re top of the league. We’re top of the league. Top of the league. The league. The top. (Stops before a David Peace type affliction takes over.) I’ve got bacon, egg and sausage baguettes for breakfast tomorrow. I’ll be back on the bike and in the pool again this week. Like an injured player I’m now on the road to full match fitness and life feels a little bit good at the moment. I won’t get too carried away as 48 years on this fine ball of rock and water has taught me to expect an arse biting experience is only ever just around the next corner. But for now get the Cuban out of the humidor, pour the Rioja, sit back and enjoy this little slice of good fortune.
Keep the Blue Flag Flying High!
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66 Comments · Add yours
I didn't see the game or even listen to commentary (I was listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd albums) but the BBC's and Guardian's text commentary had me wishing I was at the Bridge. Judging from several write-ups including Tony's, Match of the Day's brief highlights obviously didn't do our performance justice.
Great report by the way, Tony. A cracking read.
It's nice to feel excited about the prospects of our youth players. It's been a long time coming but hopefully we're starting to see the work the club's been doing bear fruit, as it were. Exciting times indeed.
As for Everton, there was never any danger of them winning at Old Trafford. For as long as I can remember they've been going there and bending over for United to well and truly shaft them.
I watched this on MOTD and this kiddie Kakuta ........ three times they showed that effort of his from the right hand side and I still missed how the hell he managed to create so much space?? One second he had a player on him, the next he had sent the player to the other side of the penalty area and was shooting into the side netting. He looked very impressive!!!
As an aside, I have now established that there is a Petersfield Four ......... make that five, I live in Steep.
Kakuta is gonna be a world-class player in a few years time if he keeps this up. Left footed Cristiano Ronaldo anyone!
A brilliant report Tony on another brilliant win. Watching the rest of our so called rivals tonight, I'm beginning to shift from a position of hope to a position of expectancy with regards this title challenge. We are by far and away the best team in the country at present and for all Arsenal's pretty football at the Emirates, we are playing some brilliant stuff as well. The movement, pace and power of our side is incredible at times and I can't really see who can stop us in the League. We may see a few sloppy performances in the next couple of months and our Januray buys will be crucial but barring any major slip ups, the title is surely ours, isn't it?
You're right in asking whether Essien should be given that right-hand side role permanently as his power is unstoppable and he is a surprisingly good attacking midfielder when allowed to stride forward. But the class and experience of Ballack is still crucial to our diamond and I nor Carlo it appears, is willing to trust Mikel in that holding role for a whole season.
But apart from Essien's masterful showing, today belonged to Kakuta. Those of us who have been following his progress in the youth team for the past couple of seasons have known for a while that he's a bit special and today he finally got the opportunity to show it on a big stage. It reminded me of another 4-0 win but this time against Blackburn at the Bridge when Jose had just arrived. It was also pissing down on that afternoon but after an hour we saw the arrival of another boy wonder. On that day we witnessed the arrival of Arjen Robben and for me, Kakuta's debut had the same sort of feeling about it. Both showed pace, skill and above all confidence and I feel that with a little more strength, Kakuta could, dare I say it, be Chelsea's very own Messi? I know, it's a little too early to say, but Kakuta is the jewel in our academy's crown and with some regular football, I think we may have a very special little player on our hands.
I actually thought Alex had a tough time, and was lucky not to give away a penalty when he made a reckless tackle but just missed the player, who remained on his feet (don't remember who, but it was the second half). Aside from him everyone else was 10/10 in my book.
kakuta actually reminded me of a player more in the mould of robinho than messi, albeit hopefully better than the brazilian. He's more of a 'beating a man with single touch of genius' than a 'whole load of little perfectly weighted touches' kinda player.
i loved watching him though, i hope he stays with us and off the injury list (of which many light footed players are fated to spend a lot of time on :()
terrific report, matches very well with what I thought these bloodshot eyes saw from 4pm this morning.
I am still not sure about Mikel, though it struck me as he hit yet another in a series of poor passes, maybe he is lacking game time. It is rare for me to be so charitable about him!
I am going to have to find out how to put that pronunciation mark on the last letter of Matic. I rather think we will see much more of him. and not from the bench.
Kakuta - oh yes, he looks top drawer. Just how far up the tall boy the drawer is time will tell. As is what his best position will be. Perhaps just a brief to "float like a butterfly and sting like a bee" as another fine athlete did rather well!
I felt a little sad that Joe (who is normally beyond criticism in my eyes) in particular did not think back to his early games and give Borini some more opportunities. I know he too is playing for his place but ...........
However, that is a very minor criticism of a grand day. Oh yes, almost time for another gold medal winning NZ pinot noir as the world cup gets closer. Hope our boys get a chance to sort out a certain "handy" ex-gooner - loool
crickey, a quick edit. S/be 4am this morning
deco RoCK!!!
want some come and get some....
Great report Tony!
I hope we still remember Miroslav Stoch. The kid is having a storming season under the tutelage of a certain somebody in FC Twente!Of whatever little I've seen of him in the ere divisie - he looks a much much much better player. Absolutely fearless and a golden left peg.
I wish you guys follow a bit of him too and me, I cant wait to see him back at the Chels!
Nice one TG; good to see you as always, albeit fairly briefly...
Very enjoyable afternoon all round; great result but thought we actually got a little sloppy at times, primarily because it was such a stroll. Bit harsh, maybe.
Great to see Mikel back - assured passing (he passed the ball more than anyone on the pitch and gave it away far less), Anelka quiet but extremely effective, Malouda excellent and Essien in monstrous form which bodes well for the Emirates next week. Kalou frustrating at times, but he did play two nice, simple passes for two of the goals which the target for today's KJ bullet would do well to note...
chels intimated to it in comment 7, but the utterly frustrating individual that is Joe Cole post 2006 appeared again today; more misplaced passes than anyone else on the pitch (numerically and proportionately to how much he had the ball), too many attempts to beat three men when a simple pass was the better option - I'm never keen on praising a youngster at such an early stage, but Kakuta showed more nous, awareness and intelligence in possession in 30 minutes than Joey has done for a very long time - knowing when to pull the clever trick, when to pass and when to take a player on; slightly embarrassing when one has a decade plus of top-flight experience over the other. It seems increasingly as though he has a place in the squad for what he could offer rather than what he actually does - how long this can last is anyone's guess.
*adopts Captain Mainwaring brogue*
Stupid boy...
Once the early goal went in it was always going to be a cakewalk.
For me everyone was excellent except my old mucker Kalou. He wasn't terrible, he linked neatly enough with Nic and Joe on occasion, but given how much of the ball we had he never really seemed involved in the game.
Kakuta was pretty breathtaking -- the no-look backheel as he zoomed out of defence would have been stupidly flashy from anyone else but from him it just looked like a pass to a team-mate, he obviously didn't give it a second thought -- but Matic caught my eye even more. He played like Ballack with a turn of speed. Very upright in possession the way Herr B is, always managing to act as a pivot for possession (lots of lovely efficient little link-ups with Cashley and Obi and Essien), great tackler. You feel that maybe Kakuta might have trouble in a tighter game, partly because he's just so weensy, but Matic looks almost ready. Which may be a good thing given that we're losing Essien and Obi.
Though I noticed that Ivory Coast and Ghana have been drawn in the same group for the ACON. With any luck one of them won't make it into the knockout rounds.
It was nice to see Anelka's smile of encouragement for Kakuta when he was replaced by the youngster. This 'family' mentality in Chelsea is a strong basis for successes.
Only bad luck can stop us now!
My only issue is that, in all likelihood, If Kakuta does make it as a first team regular, he'll probably be shafted in as a winger of some description. I think he is much better applied where he was yesterday; dropping off another striker. I think that our formation should help that, but it's just a thought.
Re. Afcon
I can almost 100% Guarantee the qualification of both Ghana and the Ivory coast; their only real competition otherwise would be Togo who are so over-reliant on Adebayor it's frightening.
A great report, very well written and fantastic humour.
Bring on le cheval.
If Chelsea keep on winning like this, we will all be eating horse for dinner by the end of the season!!
LOL
Didier
Excellent report Mr G. as per usual, glad to hear you're match fit again.
On a side issue, I've noticed the lack of abuse and gloating from opposition fans on this blog in recent months. Are we becoming more liked? and do the neutrals prefer us to Utd, or even Arsenal?
There's no doubting that the press are a little more friendly these days, and have turned their attention to Sir Rednose and the Spanish waiter.
Perhaps we should call it the Carlo effect!
Tony, a most pleasing read as always.
Your references to horses, matters medical and one of our Serbians (Matic) strangely chimes with one of the more bizarre stories from the football world.
Well take a Serbian, Horse placenta, and therapies for sports injuries and you get this.
LINK
Apparently Frank is there but not for the placenta therapy.
LINK
I say neigh, neigh and thrice neigh! What's wrong with a bag of frozen peas and a quick rub down with Goddards White Horse Oil Embrocation. Half a crown a bottle. Cured all known muscular ailments. Bet they're paying a sight more for the Horse's placenta than we paid for its oil.
I tried to find a picture of the traditional bottle on the net but they've gone all modern and upmarket.
LINK
What a pity, because it used to be a clear glass bottle with a very old fashioned label clearly featuring a white horse.
Cute fellas these Serbians. They latch onto Goddards idea with the horse thing, take it out where the buses don't turn (you know, men's natural fear of female related plumbing matters)and are raking in the bucks. Fair play to them.
btw I equally anticipated the worst for a game that came after yet another international break, so your not alone in the half empty glass department.
Oh yeah, the Petersfield Four. Have you done time? You carry shooters? Do you all sound like Bob Hoskins, 'cause I take it you're too old for the Vinny Jones style shtick?.....just curious
Watched this one Live and contrary to what most think,I think Scoreline doesn't give A Complete outlook of the Match.
I thought Belletti in particular was Poor to an Extent that Jarvis "10" beat him quite easily on numerous occasion and for some decent Finishing by Their forward line,Scoreline would have been Different.
I thought Mikel was Atmost Decent.......Diamond clearly doesn't suit his Slow thinking Style.
Kakuta-"Nervelessness" I think this word used in today's Guardian describes his performance and as someone mentioned before Stoch is turning into what looks like a Very Good Bench Player[for us] at Twente.
Borini and Matic caught the eye.Matic was calm on the Ball and Borini was More than A Helping hand.
Reply to BlueBayou:
The Petersfield Four - well geezer, it's like this. Two of us do come from the smoke orignally, but the other two, well ones from a little place called Portsmouth, the other from some la-di-dah provincial town called Reading.
So, two of us have Bob Hoskins tones, one a Hampshire burr and the other a non-descript estuary English lilt. For an example of the accent that strengthens as the London contingent of our crew approach Stamford Bridge , listen to the Bricktop voice here.
LINK
Now, I'm off down the frog to to get some readies.....
Reply to ChelseaTony:
I'll be sure to read all your future correspondence in a Bricktop like voice....... and be very scared
Can't see how Martin Samuel hopes to survive at the Daily Mail when he can't get behind a perfectly reasonable campaign to demonise a French person who cheated at football as well as being foreign.
There's no place in good British sports journalism for the likes of this...
LINK
I missed the game cos I was watching the atrocious AFC Wimbledon lose at home to York (in front of an incredible crowd of 4,000), but am being told Very Good Things about Matic, who was apparently a revelation.
Aye, Matic looked decent - moved the ball quickly, rarely lost it and was always available for a pass. Bit Ballack-esque from what little I saw.
Reply to BlueBayou:
Ah, history repeats itself and all that.
I have this vague memory from back in the early 70s when Chelsea were awarded a "goal" which actually went through the side netting and a similar furore ensued because no Chelsea player owned up at the time.
The details are fuzzy as I was still living in The Frozen North then but I remember keeping for some time a very witty newspaper article cutting by a journalist whose name genuinely escapes me, I think from the very same Daily Wail, which was definitely headlined:
"The Day I Asked For A Penalty Against Us"
Anyone remember any more?
The 'goal' was a shot from Hudson, I think.
Samuel, of course, nails it once again while all the other hacks froth at the mouth in their furious determination to say exactly the same as every one of their peers. Don't they ever get tired of agreeing with each other so rigorously?
Reply to blueboydave:
I believe it was against Ipswich in 1970, scored by Alan Hudson
here it is....
LINK
Does seem a tad controversial!
I re-read John Peel's excellent Olivetti Chronicles recently. This passage caught my eye:
"There are times, reptiles, when your Uncle John, bless him, wonders, as he goes merrily about his daily round, whether rock stars could get away with being as much adrift from the spirit of the music as some prominent ex-players seem to be from the essence of football.
"Last night, having witnessed, with rising gorges, the luckless Dutch being again hustled out of the world title, this time by a combination of a standard of refereeing that would draw gasps of astonishment in our local club league and the gross misconduct of Argentinian players who realised that they could do no wrong, those of us grouped disconsolate around the TV leapt as a person to our feet, baying with fury, when the awful, sanctimonious Jimmy Hill trotted out something to the effect that 'football isn't only about winners, it's about losers too', and deplored the fact that the Dutch hadn't appeared to take part in the post-game ritual. If I'd been one of the Dutch players I wouldn't have left the dressing room at anything less than gunpoint and even if I'd been told I'd never play football again if I didn't.
"One slight consolation from the passing of the World Cup is that we will no longer have to suffer this Charlton or that giving us blinding insights into the game of the order of 'a goal at this stage of the game would make a real difference'. In about thirty years of attending football matches I have yet to see a goal that didn't make a real difference."
He wrote that in a Sounds column in 1978. Crap refereeing, bad punditry, ex-players talking bollocks... Nothing ever changes.
Reply to chelseablog:
Very good Mr Blog
I'm not one for creationism and all that malarky, but you do start to wonder about evolution, natural selection and the like.
You see if over centuries yer Polar Bear genes selected 'cause they needed to be white, what selects for a football pundit,
The fact they talk shite?
(oh look that rhymes - poetry as well as devastating insight - you don't deserve it, you really don't)
I missed the game because of a knee injury that i picked while making love to my new sweet lady. You see one those acrobatic things on youporn and and think oh i can do that. tried it at home and almost forced my knee through the wall. and for that i won't be able to rate our setpieces as i had promised.
Reply to Moffat:
I do hope that the goat in question remained unharmed.
Alan Hudson’s goal against Ipswich at the Bridge, reminds me of happy days. nice to see genuine Chelsea supporters on this web site.
Well, I got a chance to watch the game later this weekend. Always a much different experience after you know the score.
Essien was unfortunate to not get a hat trick, but his second goal was more than a bit generous. His first and Malouda's were spectacular, however.
Not pleased with Joe Cole- he was not as bad as he can be, but often tried to dribble when the pass was the best option.
Kakuta appears to be the real deal. I'm sure we'll see much more of him soon. Not only was his feint spectacular, but he has a very good sense of space. Not much of a defender yet, however. Can't blame him much at 18.
I thought Kalou was a bit underrated in this game. Since he was singled out for his Kalou-lessness, I paid particular attention to him. Yes, he had a terrible shot instead of a cross late in the game.
On the other hand, Kalou was our best player for the first 30 minutes. He played dangerous ball after dangerous ball, and created lots of space. Sure, his shot should have been on target, but otherwise he involved in nearly all the goals and most of the dangerous moves the team made.
Will he ever be a world-beater? I doubt it, but he's getting better, he's better utilized by Ancelotti, and he'll come good yet.
Reply to Harrt:
I find that a strange sort of comment Harrt, the vast majority of posters on this blog are genuine fans. Perhaps you meant to say, nice to see some old timers on here. ;-)
If I recall correctly, didn't the fuss about that goal, start the debate to have the goal design changed so it wouldn't happen again. Forward thinking and innovative for the period, shame that we haven't embraced the use of technology to prevent it happening again.
And if we just go back to the start of the season in the Championship, there was a huge fuss about a legitimate goal scored in the Bristol City and Palace game.
Reply to Clive:
That Alan Hudson goal is fantastic.
I haven't seen it before (forgive me Haart,I wasn't born until '72,and have only been going since 1979!)....Can you imagine the way Red Nose would react if a ref made a decision like that in 2009?
It just goes to show how different the game is now.... Referees really need to be assisted by technology, rather than ridiculed for making the wrong decisions week after week.
As a worthy replacement for didier i think we should go for edin dzeko instead of kun, he is simply overated and the physical english game will not suit him perfectly
I dont get all the 'Kakuta back to Earth with a bump stories' in the press today. Yeah, he played for the ressies yesterday as he's 18 and hardly first choice in the first team. Also, while his ban is suspended, he's likely to play at every available opportunity.
The first team havent had a game since his appearance on Saturday - it's not as if he's been dropped. Must be a really quiet day for news.
Will be a bugger if he continues like he did Saturday and he then faces another two months out because of the ban.
As part of their efforts to respond to the Hand of Henry shitstorm FIFA have been working with all the major kit manufacturers on a shirt design to aid referees when it comes to ball handling incidents.
I had expected some high falutin' electronical chip type business but in the spirit of "The Game should be the same whether on Hackney Marshes or Wembley Stadium" they've settled for a more cost effective option.
All players playing under the FIFA umbrella will be wearing this next season apparently.
Please don't ask me why they chose Ken Bates to model it.
LINK
(I'll get my jacket - yes you know the one I mean)
For anyone like me who was screaming "More, more, more" at their TV on Saturday after seeing Kakuta's introduction, here is the Beeb's minute and a half look at him from YouTube : LINK
It's the flick / backheel at about 1.13 I can't get my head round - surely he would have had to dislocate his knee / hip / ankle to get the ball to where it goes.
Benfica can stuff the supposed £35m for Di Maria up their chutes if we keep seeing this sort of thing. More against Porto please.
Reply to Fiftee:
I'm just so excited about this kid. I'm sure the rest of the year will be up and down for him, but perhaps he can be Carlo's new Pato.
And to think that after another two years, he'll still be so young that regardless of how he develops he won't be in his prime yet...
Reply to gerry:
Can't say I totally disagree.
I do worry about a player that has such strong links to Maradona. Will he commit to playing for a team like Chelsea, or is he just happy being a me-first player on a me-first team like Atletico?
Everything I've seen of Dzeko has impressed me. Perhaps we need a flash of inspiration now, but we'll need a big guy to replace Didier at some point down the road (hopefully not soon).
Reply to Fiftee:
It neve r changes. You either get accused of not bringing them through or when, like Owen, they're physical wrecks in their mid 20's, of overplaying them too young.
Even a beast like Rooney has suffered with foot problems, so the "if they're good enough they're ready" arguement ignores the fact of the physical wear and tear on bodies that are still developing.
So hopefully, while we see more of Kakuta and the other youngsters it will be at a steady, sensible pace. He's already had a badly damaged ankle and who knows what a few hardmen might do to an area that must already be not quite what it should be.
It would be nice to think that Ancelotti will feel he is not so pressured that he cannot introduce those youngsters he feels have the potential.
Watching players come through and develop is one of the essential joys of supposrting a club. Sadly there have been too few in recent seasons.
After somehow managing to get the 'lympics we're back to the Brewery / Pissup scenario again with the World Cup bid.
LINK
I see Greenberg's appointment went down well.
Avram plunging the knife in?
LINK
Well without tempting fate, tonight could well free us this year at least, from facing that obnoxious team, and set of supporters in the CL.
Reply to chelseablog:
Portsmouth have treated Hart awfully. Isn't Storrie something like the 3rd highest paid Chief Executive in the Premier League? He's really been value for money hasn't he (irrespective of the fact he looks like the type of c*nt who wears monogrammed pink socks).
Just as well I didn't tempt fate then! ;-)
I appear to have laughed so hard I have shot a kidney out of my arse.
Channel 5, Channel 5, Channel 5...
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Is Channel 5 one of those free to air, nobody watches channels? :-)
Reply to Clive:
Well, they've probably upped their viewing figures by a few hundred thousand Scousers as of this evening so that's not technically correct...!
Well, it seems little Gael enjoyed his day out on Saturday.
"It is easier than in the reserves," said Kakuta, of Premier League football, "because the game is much quicker, you have more choice when you play and you can play one-touch or two-touch. So it is much better. I was waiting a long time [for Saturday] and I am really happy. All of the players were behind me, helping me and talking to me, so that was good."
LINK
Yup- playing in the Premier League is easier than in the reserves. Oh my. A rather impetuous statement, except...
It really did seem like it was easy out there for him. Quick one touch passing really suits his game. It will be fascinating to see what this kid turns into.
Awesome performance! Now let's show that tiny North London club their place!
Anyone interested in going to a party?......
LINK
Damn, beat me to it greenlight. Thats is a bloody masterpiece.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Surely we must start a Fund for Distressed ITV Commentators with proceeds to be applied to wrestling the rights to 'Poo Euro Vase games back to their rightful home?
Who could see them suffer an entire half season without the chance to spout their usual cliches about "special European nights at Anfield" and "the Miracle in Istanbul" while squealing with excitement every time Gerrard or Torres shapes up to shoot in the opposition half?
Give generously please.....
Bloody hell, this might mean ITV have to show us or Arsenal on a Wednesday night now. Unbelievable!
All we need now is for Bruce Forsyth to come out and say to Liverpool Football Club, "you're my favourite" to complete the humiliation.
(Ok Ok I watch strictly)
Reply to blueboydave:
They've still got the "Glorious night in Barcelona", "2 goals in 2 minutes blah blah" to fall back on (plus possibly references to a forgettable night in Moscow that we don't wish to dwell on but they will) so I'm keeping my cash well and truly trousered if you don't mind.
Reply to PeteW:
Given the next round of games is a dead rubber I wonder how ITV will jump. Can they show Arsenal? What was the nature of the deal that meant only Manure and Poo get shown on ITV, along with all the other shite (see what I did there?)?
Assuming it was all to do with audience ratings and they can show the Arse if they want to, they have to decide whether more Scousers will tune in for one last look at the Champions League for a couple of seasons or Gooners just happy to see their team on the telly and still in the competition.
(actually there's another good reason to support Chelsea, no form of abbreviation leads you to poo or bottoms unlike the other members of the Big Four. Simples)
I should imagine Tyldseley is going to have to come up with a whole new script for his future commentaries in the CL.
Unless of course he manages to work in "special night at Anfield" etc etc, when any other teams are playing.
It must be fantastic supporting a team that has such a mythology and magic surrounding them.
I suppose it's a bit like believing that the Harry Potter films are real and true to life.
When we all know how silly that is, I mean, a ginger haired kid with friends, come on!
Dull, very dull. Malouda anf Jirkov crossing in vain to no one in centre. Drogba somewhere down the blind alleys and everybody is mediocre and below. May be we are playing for point here...
Finally.....
STOP PRESS
LIFE CHANGED BY CHELSEA BLOG SHOCK!
Yes, thanks to the last bumper edition of the shorts, I just watched us beat Porto on my iPod (well, technically my wife's iPod, but she'd decided to take an evening off from the Bubblewrap app).
I'm feeling a little guilty about finally surrendering to the Digger -- but then I never managed to boycott HarperCollins, and six quid a month is less than the price of a paperback. (And I still want the Ashes back on the BBC.)
Anyway, thanks Blog, very exciting! Except for the game of course. Player ratings should be in Zzzzs. Malouda: Zzz. Drogba: Zzzzzz. Deco: Zzzzzzzzz. Terry/Carvalho: were they even there? Essien: Zzz -- nnk -- whaa? -- whoa I think I must have been asleep for those past 70 minutes.
C'mon folks it wasn't as bad as all that. There's always something to be taken from a game.
I was intrigued by the efficiency of the Porto press (no, not their newspapermen and women). On more than one occasion they squeezed us back stage by stage from the edge of their box eventually forcing a backpass to Chech. They constantly closed the ball down, one then two, then three isolating the ball carrier. Very effective particularly when a team takes too many touches or lacks good movement. We did counter it at times in the 2nd half, but I did admire the discipline of it.
Anelka was good and Zhirkov and Malouda became a very influential partnership as teh game wore on. Pat Nevin was very impressed with Yuri in his comments on the radio.
We seemed to struggle defensively all game on the right. Not sure if that was down to Ballack (who did have a poor game I thought) and Ivanovic or just the Porto strength on that side.
Still a win is a win and Porto are a decent side.
Had they not hit the bar first half it could have been tough to get a result tonight.
Important to win away from home as it has been a weakness in recent campaigns.
A very dull first half. Much better second. Zhirkov was okay, though he did well linking with Malouda who was best player in the second half. Anelka had another game where he was above most of the players in the team.
We need to get Drogs interested again - he looked a rather uninterested - thought the credit must go to Porto to keep our midfield busy and cut off the supply. But I am not worried about Drogba - he is playing against his favorite team this weekend.
Overall, unsatisfying but good 1 goal away win. I will take it.
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