Premier League: Chelsea 5 - 0 Sunderland
Sunday, 02 November 08, 10:59 AM · Comments (75)
Match reports
The Observer, Jamie Jackson: "Delight and a return to the top of the table for Chelsea; a thrashing for Sunderland and an enforced seat in the stands for Roy Keane. This was far too easy for the home side. But while the five unanswered goals might seem to make last week's surrender of Chelsea's proud unbeaten run at home faintly unbelievable, there were hints that Luiz Felipe Scolari does need to find differing ways to beat sides who do not just roll over."
Sunday Times, David Walsh: "There are afternoons in football when you want to find a hole in the ground and disappear. So, perhaps referee Martin Atkinson was being kind to Roy Keane when banishing him to a quiet seat in the stand for the second half of this hopelessly one-sided match. By then Sunderland were losing 3-0 and it really was just a question of how many more Chelsea would score. From his new seat Keane was close enough to a defeat that bordered on humiliation."
Independent on Sunday, Glenn Moore: "[Sunderland] were outclassed at Stamford Bridge, where it rained cats, dogs and Chelsea goals. Nicolas Anelka helped himself to three of them, taking his season's tally to eight in the League. With Didier Drogba making his return it was a timely treble, though the plaudits belonged to its architects, Joe Cole and Frank Lampard."
Sunday Telegraph, Patrick Barclay: "Chelsea, to their credit, entertained us handsomely with passing crisp enough to delight their Brazilian manager."
Official Chelsea FC Website: "The biggest win at Stamford Bridge under Felipe Scolari was a great way to ease concerns about home form, Nicolas Anelka helping himself to a hat-trick with Alex and Frank Lampard, naturally, also on the scoresheet."
The goals
27' Alex 1-0
30' Anelka 2-0
45' Anelka 3-0
51' Lampard 4-0
53' Anelka 5-0
(Match of the Day highlights)
Driving up in torrential rain and rubbish traffic, the sense was that this game was a return to the good old days, a 3 o’clock kick off, nights drawing in, bad weather and the predicted view that a big red and white striped bus would be parked firmly in front of the Sunderland goal. But what we got was a samba style red hot display of something I can only describe as ‘like watching Brazil’ and by that I mean the 1970 Brazil team. A game to warm the most chilled of bones and cynical of cold hearts.
The good
- The performance over both halves. Right from the outset it was obvious we would be playing the pass and move game and boy did it ever come off. Sunderland huffed and puffed but did not have a single player capable of holding the ball like the Blues. A joy to watch.
- Joe Cole. A performance that underlined how badly missed he was against Liverpool. Involved in the first four goals and linked superbly with Anelka, Deco and Lampard.
- John Mikel Obi. You never know the media might start to notice him soon instead of getting their communal cocks out at the mention of Steven Gerrard, Gareth Barry or Javier Mascherano. Absolutely first class display (again).
- Nicolas Anelka. Before the Anelka nay-sayers start jumping from their prams, with their ceaseless whinges about him not scoring first or not getting the spectacular goals or being lucky, let’s get something straight: I’d take a lucky striker over an unlucky one anyday. To get the tap in goals you have to be in the right place and does it really matter who gets the first? No, it doesn’t so wind your anti-Anelka necks in and read. He played from box to box tracking back when needed and being in place for the relentless forward advances. He won headers, tackled smartly and sharply, played some lovely lay-offs and cross field passes and held the ball up as good as Mark Hughes ever did on a good day. He scored three goals, the first a cheeky tap in even though it was goal bound. Good, greed is good. Good strikers are greedy. The second a tap in from what was a superb team goal built on incisive passing. The third a slightly fortunate bounce off the keeper’s valiant attempt to block. Lucky, but that does me. Man of the Match.
- The whole team. Every player can hold their head high, Deco was vastly improved though tired in the last ten, Ashley Cole was relishing the chance to bomb forward until Steed Malbranque decided he’d had enough of him, Terry and Alex looked like an assured partnership which grows better the more Ricardo Carvalho is sidelined. Lampard was typically Frank and hats off to him...
- Frank Lampard. 117 goals for us, 100 in the Premier League. A remarkable achievement from a player who seems to have really been lifted under the Popeye Scolari effect.
- The result and the result at White Hart Lane. 5-0 is always an eye grabbing score-line, but the truth is it could have been more than this. I do not use the word awesome lightly but at times yesterday we were exactly that. A fantastic week with eight goals scored, one conceded and an unlikely Spurs helping hand keeping us top of the league with a goal difference of +23.
The bad
- I’m tempted to put Sunderland in here as they offered very little and Cech had nothing to do bar one dive at Cisse’s feet late on. But that would be disingenuous to us and I’m frankly sick of the ‘Chelsea played well, but the other team were very poor’ Hansen-esque cliché bollocks spouted by self satisfied pundits. So instead I’m going to nominate Jonathan’s (fine assessment Mr Dyer) oppo in today’s Observers Fans Verdict section. This bloke is called Martyn McFadden and I can only describe his summing up as bitter, twisted and a little crazed. Lay off the ale a bit mate would be my advice. Some nuggets for you: ‘Their first three goals were really dubious.’ Yeah right mate, totally against the run of play. Or maybe ‘The second was definitely offside because someone was standing on the line’. So the ref, the lino, your players, your manager, the TV, the radio and 40,000 Chelsea fans are all wrong? Or this gem: ‘For the third there was a foul in the build up’. Oh didn’t Chimbonda’s attempt to stamp all over Joe Cole quite come off? And then this masterpiece of mental rambling that would feature superbly on a re-mastered Dark Side of the Moon, from the North East’s biggest chip/shoulder suffering victim: ‘It was a miserable day, horrible, cold and wet - but the Sunderland fans were still out singing Chelsea’s who were probably too busy with their cappuccinos and biscuits. But then Chelsea just seems part of the London tourist trade - Madame Tussauds in the morning, game in the afternoon’. At first I was annoyed but now I’m rather sorry for this bloke. Obviously on a day out as part of the ‘Care in the Community’ scheme. Oh and one last thing - we may well be part of the tourist trade in London being based in... err... London, the Capital of England, but Sunderland can’t even claim to be the Capital of the North East, languishing below Newcastle, Middlesbrough and slugging it out for third place with Hartlepool.
- I think that’s enough bad don’t you?
The ugly
Martyn McFadden. Sunderland’s tactics. Sunderland’s style.Player ratings
- Petr Cech: Seriously had nothing to do and was probably the loneliest person in SW6 yesterday such was his lack of contact with anybody - 7/10.
- Jose Bosingwa: Quality ball control, fabulous wing play. Rubbish corners. No, make that utterly rubbish corners - 8/10.
- John Terry: Captain Fantastic. Another who seems to have jumped a level under the Popeye Scolari effect - 8/10.
- Alex: Riccy who? - 8/10.
- Ashley Cole: Was starting to relish the game until Malbranque thought otherwise - 7/10.
- John Obi Mikel: Marvellous. Just marvellous - 8.5/10.
- Deco: Great all round contribution but still worryingly apt to play the odd weak pass surrendering possession. I hope he looked at Joe Cole and saw what the fans expect. These two together might just be awesome - 8/10.
- Frank Lampard: Looked a little subdued for the first 30 minutes but then came into his own and the first signs of a real understanding with Deco - 8.5/10.
- Joe Cole: Terrorised Sunderland and linked superbly with Lamps and Deco - 9/10.
- Florent Malouda: I’m still not convinced but am happy to admit I might be missing something. Had two glorious chances close to goal which were easier to score from than miss and completely arsed up a chance when he was clean through and seemingly got stage fright - 7/10.
- Nicolas Anelka: See 'The good'. Absolute class - 9/10.
- Wayne Bridge (sub): Seriously as good as Ashley Cole. Talk about spoilt for choice - 8/10.
- Carlos Mineiro (sub): Are you Makelele in disguise? A promising show - 7/10.
- Didier Drogba (sub): A cameo appearance to get some match fitness. Poor first touch, lacked a yard of pace and a little bemused by our new found pass and move style. For a moment it seemed we might be back to lumping the ball forward to him. But still good to seem him on the way back - 7/10.
Man of the Match
Very close between Joe Cole and Nicolas Anelka. Joe went off and Anelka slotted seamlessly into his place and scored three goals, no matter how they go in put him as joint top Premier League scorer. In the end this is what differentiated them. Mr Anelka, you get the vote.Final thoughts
Stamford Bridge seemed at ease with itself, the death of the monkey seemingly done and dusted. The players responded with football that at times was simply way above that we’ve seen from Wenger’s babies. In typical Chelsea style a week that arguably started badly with defeat to Liverpool has come good with two superb wins and performances against potential members of the awkward squad, a healthy goal difference which I’m fairly sure is far better than this time last year and some good fortune from White Hart Lane putting us top of the league.
Last night I had a firework party and whilst our teenage kids and some of the pre-teenage ones sat indoors watching MTV, and our respective other halves drank wine in vast amounts in the kitchen, my brothers and brothers-in-law gathered to let off the fireworks. For a short while we were teenagers again, letting off fireworks that would help demolish most small housing estates whilst drinking beer, smoking Cubans and talking football, mercilessly ripping the Liverpool fan to shreds and ignoring the views of the Leeds fan (after all what do they know about football). Sometimes life just doesn’t get much better. Oddly enough we had lots of fireworks that exploded in shades of blue shooting into the sky and making enormous bangs, exciting those who saw them, the only red ones were those that started brightly then fizzled out to familiar sighs of disappointment. Remind you of anything?
Keep the Blue Flag Flying High!
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75 Comments · Add yours
first!
i was watching the game online, again, (sopcast works great under linux, btw), and the wife asked in about 35th minute - why am i not watching it on a telly...apparently a croatian channel has bought rights for saturday afternoon. it has been a few years since we were able to watch PL on TV. only italian and spanish leagues were shown. this year everyone will be able to see chelsea winning the PL, again. that's what the pundits in the studio are saying, although, the papers are rambling about the spurs - because of the two croats, important members for the national squad, playing there. and winning something, finally.
oh, and it's a special treat watching chelsea on the left side of the widescreen monitor, with
well, something is really not ok with commenting system - i tried to insert a link with a caption - and the whole rest of the post is gone..:(
i was watching chelsea, and my daughter was watching Pocoyo - on the left side of the screen. it's a spanish cartoon - about a little blue boy. ;)
LINK
Thanks for a fantastic blog. Best match coverage on the net in my view.
Agree with the review of Sunderland game - my only squeaky doubt is that we are crushing weaker teams in style but losing/drawing with our closest rivals (Man U., Liverpool, Roma...)
Maybe we will see whether Joe Cole can change that in Rome on Tuesday
keep up the great work
anelka is top scorer in the league, not joint top.
Well, I do think that with joe cole back in the squad he can change something. Maybe miniero should also get a run playing in front of the defenders while mikel plays a more attacking midfielder role, unless of course miniero shoots well, in which case he shoudl play in front of mikel.
Deco is getting back to his old self and its only matter of time before he starts to shoot from 20-30 yards.
And now that Drogba's back I think di santo should be paired with either him and anelka.
Awesome goal difference +23....and counting.
Lets keep another clean sheet against roma...im just loving it
Aye, it was grand. Thought Terry was excellent again, his pass for the fifth goal was superb - prime evidence that he is a very good footballer, not just a stopper.
It's remarkable how quickly Scolari has got us playing a completely new style of football - the fact it hasn't quite worked against better organised sides so far shouldn't blind us to the fact it is a superb achievement already. People said Chelsea couldn't play that way because they didn't have the players for it, but they were wrong. Great to see us playing the best football in London once again - poor old Arsenal, they're not good for anything any more!
As for the Sunderland fan and his 'lucky five goals nonsense', silly fellow. Plus, they didn't even outsing us - we couldn't hear a thing from the MHU. I mean, really mate, it was hardly Roma.
Oh, and thanks Spurs. I knew there was a reason they existed.
popular wisdom (folklore)
question: How one knows that winter is coming?
answer: Spuds change manager and start to play football.
Another great performance. If we continue to thrash the dross in the league and get draws or even lose against Utd and Liverpool then we're Champions, so maybe it won't matter that we haven't worked out how to beat the best sides.
GOOD:
1. Performance - 5-0 and we could have scored more. The pass and move football was a glorious spectacle and the wet pitch only aided our flowing football. As many have said, we now play the best football in London, but i think we play the best football in the league and we're only second to Barca in terms of entertainment and goal scoring.
2. Midfield - Against Roma and Liverpool, the trio looked confused and unimaginative. But with a few more games their understanding has improved greatly. Lamps is in the best form of his life, Deco is finding his form again and Mikel continues to impress. Lamps is the best attacking midfielder in the world but soon Mikel could overtake him as the best allround midfielder in the world, if only he could shoot.
3. Anelka - He may be the master of tap-ins but getting a hat-trick is impressive for anyone. He still struggles to convince the fans but he's our top scorer and if he leads us to a trophy then who cares?
4. Spurs - They won again and helped us regain top spot. I'm just waiting for Harry's bandwagon to role on to Old Trafford and upset their title chances.
BAD:
1. Arsenal - We all knew they'd lose at Stoke as their bunch of kids just hate a physical battle. The pressure's growing on Wenger and a couple more defeats and we could see him quietly moved aside come the summer.
2. Liverpool - I hoped they enjoyed their couple of days on top because that's the last time they'll be leading. If we can stretch out a lead before Christmas then the title is ours. We're great front runners and all we need now is another Scouse slip up.
3. Injuries - A Cole this time. It's almost the norm for us to never play with our first XI.
Two pieces of news for the Bridge today:
1. Scolari praising Lamps:
LINK
It's only right that 15 scouts have been sacked as we haven't exactly unearthed any gems lately.
A brief thought on the Spurs and how they have helped us this week….
Might I suggest that we can combine a memorial to one of the great departed fast food outlets and a gesture to the old enemy in reparation for some gleeful gloating about their early season problems.
Yes its Spud-u-Like week
It is quite simple. Invite a close friend, relative or workmate, who is a Spurs fan, to your abode, (however humble). Take a large baking potato, cook it (personally I would recommend a preheated oven at 175 for at least 45 mins, rather than going the microwave route), cut in half, add butter or a filling such as cheese or beans or coleslaw, then eat half the spud each.
Think of it as a moment similar to when the British and Germans paused from the slaughter of WW1 and played football on Xmas day.
For those of you who have a Spurs fan willing to engage in sexual activity there is Spud -u-Lick week, but personally I think you can take these things too far and I’m staying with the baked potato option for now.
To be filed under – Isn’t life strange
Glancing at the cover of the rather fine soundtrack CD for The Harder They Come (1972), I noticed that the film not only starred Jimmy Cliff but the cast also included Bobby Charlton………someone remind me of the scene with a white bloke and a bad comb over job.
And finally
Well done TG. Its strange but it seems more difficult to find anything to say when they play like that and win in style. I don’t mean that in a smug way but you can only just watch on in wonder sometimes. And you’re right about that Mackem. Did he have to be that sour? I was very complimentary about them in my pre season preview. Ingrate.
I read somewhere during the week that LFS wants to have more than one option when playing the likes of Liverpool, so he’s well aware of current limitations but playing pass and move with that kind of confidence and tempo, which I think ebbed a bit against the Poo, will get you a long way.
And finally finally
@ Biggs – Noted the change of Avatar. I think I preferred the previous one of the fresh faced youth. :-)
For the record (and in response to Tony's observation re our relative position last season), after 11 games last season we had won 6, drawn 3, and lost 2 leaving us sitting fourth in the table and with a goal difference of +8, so we are, without question, travelling pretty well thus far!
KTBFFH
Great win, but another one that's hard to put in real perspective with Sunderland being utter tosh.
I guess you can only beat what's put in front of you, and we did. Back to the top of the league, really healthy goal difference, players returning from injury (but passing them going the other way !!).
Tony - agree with your sentiments on Anelka. I've always thought he offered more to the team than most people care to notice. Does a lot of work 'outside' his position. Pleased for him to bag a hat-trick, although I doubt many trebles have been scored from less combined yards than his !!!
Great to see Joe Cole back to something like what we expect from him. We were certainly looking short of creativity out wide with Kalou and Malouda flattering to deceive (I'm sure Malouda could be our top scorer by MILES this season - never seen someone fail to convert so many chances). Good for Joe to get some match fitness under his belt, hopefully more of the same tomorrow night.
Also, with Drogs back, and Ballack not far off, Ashley's minor niggle, we're only missing Essien - things are starting to look up for us.
All in all a good weekend of sport. I dont care for F1, but flicked it on with 2 laps to go fully prepared to see Hamilton capitulate under the collective pressure of a nation. If Timo Glock isn't handed a suspicious looking brown envelope stuffed with Euros, I'll be surprised.....
Unfortunately I couldn't catch the game this week, but as an Anelka knocker, I am happy to see him get amongst the goals.
I don't have a problem with Nic as a team player, because he brings other players into the game brilliantly and is always in the right position, as proven by the 3 goals this weekend. My beef is that he is not an out- and - out goalscorer but, admittedly through no fault of his own, that is what we have needed this year, and it simply isn't his bag.
That having been said, he is top scorer in the League and so long as we keep winning, it really doesn't matter who gets th goals.
Well done Blues, and it's great to see the Scouse luck changing for the worse!
@bb
well, the previous avatar was me before i got married,and started watching cartoons and chelsea on the same monitor, at the same time. i'm sure many a married man will recognise himself there.
...and, speaking of "harder they come" - i just found it on the net, a few weeks ago...i remember seeing it on channel4(i think) cca 1994, during my clubbing weekends in london. did you know they used a plastic gun, because the producers had no money for a replica?
ah, the memories...(then i used to look like the old avatar.)
All in all a good weekend of sport. I dont care for F1, but flicked it on with 2 laps to go fully prepared to see Hamilton capitulate under the collective pressure of a nation. If Timo Glock isn't handed a suspicious looking brown envelope stuffed with Euros, I'll be surprised.....
@Fiftee
I follow F1 a lot, second sport really, but the Glock situation had no suspicion attached to it at all. :-) (I know it was a tongue in cheek remark) It was an extremely brave caluclated risk on Mclarens part to change to wets along with all the front runners. He was told over the radio not to race Vettel but to race Glock and by their calculations he would catch and pass him at some point on the final lap as Glock was still on the dry tyres. You really couldn't script this type of thing, but talk about heart in your mouth, it really was stuff of high sporting drama.
Anyway not much to add on Saturdays game, we bounced back from the Liverpool defeat with two commanding performances which shows we'll be there again at the end of the season challenging for the big prizes.
Afternoon all,
Very good performance - smart review TG; did think the Mackem was excessively bitter and you can only make yourself sound more stupid with the "all X goals were really dodgy" excuse line.
Glad a few others have picked up on Anelka's performance - even the bloke who sits next to me who is one of his harsher critics did admit it was a top-notch showing. Agreed on the 'rather have a lucky striker' point too.
Anyone else affected by the evacuation of Fulham Broadway after the game - someone fainted at the end of the Wimbledon bound platform and ended up on the track - think they were OK but boy, did I get wet walking to find alternative routes home!
I'm not a member of the anti-Anelka brigade but I could see the point of the young lad behind me in the West Stand Upper Tier who piped up after about 25 minutes when it was still looking like possibly being another frustrating afternoon - "What's Anelka doing on the half way line, isn't he supposed to be a striker?" to which his Dad replied "well you might ask son".
I still think we'd see more consistently effective performances from him if he got to play a double striker role with Drogs,Di Santo or Kalou rather than with wide players - and sorry TG but it was still the feeblest hat-trick I've ever seen even if it was very welcome.
JD - despite not leaving my seat till the final whistle [I never do] I somehow made it straight onto the platform at Fulham Broadway and probably got on the last train heading for Wimbledon to get out of the station before chaos ensued.
My train was stopped at Putney Bridge and we had the usual endless wait for any info with no indication of likely timescales - if it was only someone fainting and therefore not a crime scene why did it take over an hour for the current and services to be restored while LRT staff helpfully suggested passengers catch buses outside the station despite it being a seething mass of bodies there when I started to get bored after I'd finished reading the programme about 45 minutes into the wait - still at least I wasn't getting soaked....
Brill result!! doubly so with the result at tottenham...jst wish we played Spurs at the lane already rather than at home as Harry seems to be starting to make them a bit of a force and the re-match at the Lane could be tricky!! Also, Just what we thought as well as Frank, which is that Liverpool will not be able to go all season to win the Prem. They got a taste of their own medicine. On the possible negative, it will probably mean benitez concentrating on the Cl from Decemebr as he has done all his 4 years at Anfield! So let's get ready for another clash with the reds come quarter or semi final time and lets hope we can do as last year with the Drogs stomping on Rafa! Lastly, we must not forget those red devils who are slowly getting back to form and creeping up..It will be a two horse race again against Man-U come January!
@ 14. Fiftee
Great win, but another one that's hard to put in real perspective with Sunderland being utter tosh.
Don't agree with this. If it happened once then maybe I'd agree but we made Villa look tosh, Borough look tosh, Black Vats look tosh and Hull look toshish in phases.
Therefore I think our play is at too high a level for most teams to keep up with - our passing and speed of thought is too quick.
We're not being made to look great because everyone else is tosh - we are playing great.
Another well-executed performance which was really fun to watch. It had everything Chelsea is about at the moment: a lot of clever running, good passing and many goals. Of course Malouda missing at least missing 2 sitters was on the plate as well. Lampard and Mikel were basically the backbone of it all again, their value for the team is massive.
I'm happy that Anelka has scored a hattrick and that it might convince people he's not beyond his peak. However, to me, he's still more a supporting striker rather than a finisher so I will warmly welcome back Drogba as the 1st choice striker.
One thing I have to point out is that I'm really disappointed with Deco's way of playing. I was not happy when we signed him because, without a doubt he's a good player but very inconsistent and even more important he's got an unprofessional attitude and lacks the absolute will to win. I hate it when is always out of position trying to play impossible passes. Also you should pay attention to how often he simply switches off and wanders over the pitch.
Can't wait to see Ballack again, especially when it comes to the meetings with real big teams.
@ Mark25 - my view as well. It seems we're only too happy to accept the view that when we play well its because the others haven't. Second half against Hull we were utterly dominant and Hull knew that. We do need to show this against the top teams as well, but so far its drawn 1, lost 1 with 4 to play. Lots of time to show what we can do.
@ BBD - Anelka being on the halfway line sums up my point exactly about him tracking back and contributing from all over the park. He's not a Drogba player who's as happy playing the faux centre back as well as striker, but he slipped into different attacking positions with ease on Saturday and showed much more of the team ethos he may have lacked under Avram. If Popeye sees him as a 'work in progress' then he must be pretty happy with how well its advancing. His smiles, and the warm reaction of the rest of the team seem to imply he is quite well liked and I think understandings are being forged. If he just stood at edge of the box then maybe I'd complain but he did far more on Saturday.
@23. ChelseaTony - I'd just be happier with Anelka drifting deep or wide if there was still a striker left in the penalty box to benefit from any opening that results rather than just a sea of defenders as too often happens now.
@Harberdashers
We are not going for FLS' lack of tactics are we today?
You donkey...so narrow minded!
@Jose
I dont think Big Phil is an angel. I've seen him struggle against teams that KEEP THE BALL,(. vs. Wigan, vs. ManU, vs. Roma, vs. Liverpool).
did Harberdashes screw your bird or what?
I have another question!!
Is Henry also posting under the name of Mr Musumba?
I just have a sneaking feeling about this one!
'Tis interesting is it not that as we lay waste to the division (+23 goal difference after 11 games ffs), feel the warm waves of peace and harmony exude from the Bridge (unless you've just lost a £100K a year scouting job) and generally note that all seems well in the garden, we have a paltry 35 posts since Saturday’s win? Contrast that with last Sunday.
It just goes to prove that great art rises from pain and conflict. Contented societies are not places of innovation and creative impulse. Was it in the Third Man where Orsen Welles talks about centuries of peace in Switzerland and all they have to show is the cuckoo clock?
This is not a wish to return to the endless acrimony of the debates about the Special One or impatience at the lack of mad and destabilising nonsense emanating from the Bridge (it’ll come oh yes it’ll come), just a sad attempt at increasing the number of blogettes.
It seems that this blog is in many ways the equivalent of the psychoanalyst’s couch or the addict support group. No need for it when life is tickety boo but when its careering out of control, well there’s only one place to go and it isn’t home to mama’s.
I am going home now as I have nothing that is worthwhile left to say, if indeed, I ever did.
Parting Thought
I see Claudio and his boys beat AS Roma at the weekend. Spalletti’s job is on the line. Be interesting to see how they approach it tomorrow night. A lot of injury problems I understand.
Clive why would i post as Jose? You have been in this blog long enough to tell between jose and i. I prefer you stick to those crap-in-icecream links that you post here from time to time.
It seems a little strange that Hnrey is coming to my defence. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Hnrey's schizophrenia has finally shown itself.
But in response to the idiotic Musumba, what exactly is your point? I didn't criticise Phil's tactics as they are working perfectly against the majority of sides. But against the best sides like Utd, Liverpool and strangely Spurs, his philosophy of always playing the ball on the floor and playing beautiful football doesn't work. Just look at the results to show you how his tactics aren't exactly working against the best sides, yet. And guess who agrees with me. A certain Big Phil who himself said that we only have one style of play, are one dimensional and have no Plan B after missing out on Robinho.
And your obsession with farm animals is worrying. I'm a donkey now am I? I thought i was a cow? I look forward to your next rambling point. None of us are surprised after reading of your blind defence of Avram last season on the blog. You seem to find a new obsession every season. Last year it was Avram who you constantly defended and now it's Phil. Wake up and open your eyes, you blind idiot.
sheems I shpoke too soon
(cue wild west saloon bar fight with chairs breaking on heads etc. while bowler hatted I sit in the corner playing away on the upright piano)
@ 28 - BB - It is indeed a truism that the most creative art, be it music, painting, writing or whatever comes from pain and angst. The great Roger Waters, possibly the greatest miserabilist of all time, forged Dark Side of the Moon from the deepest darkest parts of the soul that fear madness and death. Not for the mighty Floyd songs about lovers skipping through meadows carving names into trees. The equally mighty Led Zeppelin knew the power of tapping into the dark depths of the mind and soul, preferring to use love song lyrics as a mask for what they were really getting at. Sex.
I could have written a 'shiny, happy' review and chosen not to have 'Bad' section but Mr Mcfadden jumped in and saved the report from being something so shmaltzy that Robin Williams might have asked for the rights to turn it into a Hollywood blockbuster. I thought my praise for Anelka might tweak a few noses here as well, but so far only a mild criticism from BlueboyDave has challenged my view. We have no Special One to wind the press up, Abramovich as ever keeps his nose clean and even Kenyon has been comparatively PR savvy thus far.
I wasn't sure about being loved but essentially crap. I was less sure about being hated and being great. As for being loved and being great, new territory indeed. I just ask you my friends and colleagues to try this new journey because we may find it all enlightening.................
.......................... nah fuck it. My considered opinion thus far
Liverpool - anti-football whining bin-dippers
Man Utd - posing bunch of preening knobheads led by a gum chewing buffoon on the verge of either dementia.
Arsenal - lightweight ballet dancing coiffured ponces
Aston Villa - crybabies
Newcastle - The Comedy Section
Stoke - Northern clog dancing hoofers with only one method of attack
Hull - plucky little fish loving darlings about to get a massive reality check
Spurs - See Newcastle
Bolton - a cure for insomnia
Man City - proof if it were ever needed of the triumph of hope over reality
Blackburn - off to The Championship with you
West Brom - boing boing relegated
Everton - Not even the best team in Everton
Middlesbrough - about as much backbone as Squiddly Diddly (look it up)
Portsmouth - bankrupt and diving like a submarine carrying Phil Jupitus, Rik Waller, Robbie Coltrane and Dawn French
West Ham - being groomed by Zola as our feeder club. No change there then.
Sunderland - plucky battlers with a decent manager but worryingly blind fans
Fulham - As Private Fraser would say...'Doomed'
Wigan - marginally better than Bolton in every way
[weeps tears of joy]
Ah, Tony. Bless you. Good for us all to remember sometimes that being partisan is an awful lot more fun than being reasonable. "Boing boing relegated." The genius is in the simplicity.
I'd try and say something controversial but having had to miss the last THREE home games due to factors outside my control, I can't really say much about the team. I can't even find it in me to be rude about Anelka. So help me, I'm reduced to being excited about the prospect of the Burnley game.
PS where's Lolli?
I know where Lolli is and why she's not been able to join the fun for a while. Trust me, she's fine and she'll be back when she's ready. I have passed on the good wishes of the bloggers.
@Tony
Don't tell me you've been stalking her and got her locked away somewhere?
She's probably too excited to type as she keeps seeing SuperFrank getting better and better.
@TG (33)
24 carat comedy - fabulous stuff; seconded on the 'boing boing relegated' thing.
@BB (31)
The creative juices need a spot of conflict, no question - I could turn out an article every 3 days on here when Jose was in charge and pissing people off wholesale, but it's just not possible now; Brazilian style and a low profile manager? Fuck that, we need a gobby opinionated bastard with an ego the size of Wenger's creche and an attitude like an angry perma-wanking teenager. We want hate and war, not flying full backs, goal difference and media love.
@Habs (30)
Keep doing what you're doing and don't respond; it only encourages them.
@TG
As they said to the little Serbian fella after he lobbed the bomb at Archduke Ferdinand, "Now look what you've done, you just couldn't let it lie" (nod in the direction of Vic 'n Bob.
"Man Utd - posing bunch of preening knobheads led by a gum chewing buffoon on the verge of either dementia."
Leave us hanging as your mind wanders - a masterstroke old boy.
BTW Did you see him dragging in Franco when slagging Real Madrid. There are deep unhealed wounds and he should be careful of what he speaks.
Not sure Lolli (wishing her well I thought she was just on hols)would appreciate being labelled a Northerner. I know you're in the deep south and everywhere is North but Stoke?
I'm looking foward to driving past the welcome to Wigan sign proudly proclaiming
"marginally better than Bolton in every way"
Well done a few corkers in there.
(Health and Safety warning - make sure you give the end of the stick a good clean with a wet rag now you've given the sh*t a bloody good stir)
I go away for a week (out of contact with civilisation) and come back to find we lost our home record to the scousers (ouch) and then smack 8 past potentially difficult opponents playing beautiful football AND without conceding. Long may this continue starting with Roma tomorrow morning.
It is going to be interesting to see how Drogba fits into the team dynamic as I believe Anelka is really starting to relish his pivitol role in attack. If only Malouda could shoot straight we would have scored another 5 in the last two games. I also agree that without Drogba we don't have a plan B if Plan A is failing. To be able to say that shows how far the team has come under Big Phil. Drogba may not like the new fast moving team game and could end leaving in the summer leaving the door open for Di Santo to really stand up and be counted not to forget Ben Sahar - where is he nowadays I have lost track...
KTBFFH
Thanks KaiserJonny. It's so hard to respond when morons like Musumba provoke me like that. I know the best thing to do is to take the high road and avoid calling Musumba a blind, deluded c*nt who's got an obsession with farm yard animals and can't get over the departure of our previous 'manager' after falling in love with an Israeli Gordon Brown lookalike called Mr. Grant who looks as if his face has had a stoke. That would be the honourable thing to do and so from this day on, i vow never again to rise to Musumba's goading and idiotic comments.
Thanks Kaiser, that was really good to get it out of my system. Although i wonder how long i can last. As you said, all this plain sailing at the top of the league, new friendly image and scoring gaols galore is unsettling. The anger that Jose's siege mentality built up in me still remains and it has to be released (lucky that we've got Musumba then). However much Phil wins, i still long for Jose's methods a little. The arrogance, the press conferences which were more entertaining than the matches, the trophies and record after record being beaten, it was the first time i'd ever seen Chelsea win the league and for that Jose will always be my King of the Bridge. That's why one of my favourite ever games was Blackburn away in our first Jose season. We were going for the title and they tried to kick us off the park. That thug Mokoena may have cost us the CL by breaking Robben's foot in two, but the way we battled, stood up (or down) to Dickov's antics was amazing. And then the iconic image of Jose telling the whole squad to throw their shirts to the fans and walk off the pitch looking like bare cheasted warriors, which took all the headlines the next morning, summed up everything about that side's mentality. Some part of me still misses that side which was always fighting but over time i should come round to Phil's new friendly team.
Christ Tony........
I hope those Bin-Dippers that were singing your praises last week don't return in a hurry. I think your status as the 'Voice of Reason' might just have gone out the window with your, in my opinion, very fair assessment of the season so far.
You would have thought Phil's learnt something from his disasterous comments regarding us winning the Quad and then going the season unbeaten as the new invincibles:
LINK
"All roads lead to Rome as far as this season's Champions League is concerned and Luiz Felipe Scolari is ready to book the luxury hotel he wants for next year's final."
That's exactly what we need. Phil saying that he's so confident we'll make the final, we should book the hotel now. Watch us crash out to Jose's Inter!
Habs-
@42- I loved the battling spirit as well, but keeping your players healthy is something quite important. Also, I can't say that I'm disliking the treatment we give and get from the referees nowadays. Perhaps there is less menace, but I still think we have the indomitable will... and I still miss Robben.
@44- I read another article, which represents his views a bit better. Essentially, it was "well if we get to the final, I want to stay in this hotel again because it is nice." Emphasis on nice hotel, not that he was ready for the final.
@41- From everything I've seen of the Ivory Coast, Drogba can actually play in such a system. I feel we might see new aspects of Drogba that we haven't before. As an added bonus, Kalou plays significantly better for Ivory Coast than he did before at Chelsea. Maybe the new system plus Drogba will be good for him...
Not sure we should be too worried about the Rome / hotel thing; we're staying there this week and quite like the place, the final is in the same city, ergo we'd quite like to stay there for the final. I suspect that we aren't the only ones making enquiries about where to stay in May.
I think Chelsea will the Champion. I can see the fire into the players.
I think Roma - Chelsea 1-4! :)
LINK
Damn you Wet Spam !!!
So Lamps' goal against Sunderland was his hundredth in league football, but he's still on 99 in the Premier League. He'll have to wait literally 5 days until he reaches the big ton of top flight goals with the penalty he'll score on Sunday.
I'm going for a cagey 2 - 1 win tonight.
Just a shame we are (once again) relegated to the bowels of digital TV while Liverpool are on proper ITV. And I hate all the commentators. And the presenters.
Maybe I'll put it on mute.....
I got a train at FB and turfed off at West Brompton, cos, I quote the driver: 'loads of people are running around on the track at Fulham Broadway'. I thought it was the Sunderland fans trying to end it all.
Another big team, another difficult game and once again we've flattered to deceive. We've played lots of pretty patterns and had a few long shots but not actually created any chances. Sound familiar? And to compound things some shocking defending means we're 1-0 down. Anyone seen if Joe Cole or Anelka are even on the pitch. Certainly haven't seen them do anything. A very poor first half, although i'm not surprised. We seem to do alright against the crap teams but fail yet again in the real testing ties.
I hope Phil's gonna get out the old hair dryer.
2-0. Time for doubts to resurface about Phil's ability to win the biggest games.
3-0 and time for Scolari to bear the brunt of it. His decision to go to a 4-4-2 with Belletti and Deco on the wings was idiotic. Mikel's having a shocker, Anelka's gone AWOL and the only player even trying is Lampard. Absolutely embarrassing.
And for all the praise Belletti's been getting, since he's come on he's been awful. Can't keep the ball and he's frankly been shit. And as for a half fit Didier, he's not been anywhere near the ball.
Deco sent off for taking a free kick early. That would never happen to Liverpool or United. Just embarassing. Although we dominated the first half our system has been exposed.
I am not sure we should blame Belletti or anybody else personally!
WHOLE CHELSEA LOOKED HOPELESS AND SLOPPY TONIGHT!!!! I need to do some serious remembering to remember when we were so hopeless last time..................
I look forward greatly to the match report. There shouldn't be a good section tonight. It's just bad, ugly and plainly embarrassing. And i know which section Big Phil will feature in!
Didier is more than a step slow right now. He takes a few games to get to full steamroller match fitness... but I'm not sure he was the right substitution. But, he needs games...
It seemed quite simple to me- they played like an away team, staying defensive and counterattacking. It worked quite well. We needed to play one-touch ball in order to break down their defense, and we played two touch with sluggish movement. Then we went to desperate crosses into the box.
Deco's red was shocking. Gave us no real chance to get back into it.
A very optimistic assessment there Groy, i'm not sure i agree. We were simply shocking.
It's a car crash!
Still fairly relaxed we're going to qualify but I felt fairly relaxed after 20 minutes of this game.
Look on the upside. The home game v Clug won't be a dead rubber and will be worth the entrance fee.
Still feeling relaxed because I'm not down to write the report.
Relax ....
A car crash would be more entertaining then watching our bunch of misfits wander around the pitch aimlessly.
Calm down people we were mugged it happens, we still have control in the group.
The crosses during the last few games have been terrible. We don't threaten from corners and our set-pieces make me sick.
I am nervous.
KTBFFH
Complacency, Damn Complacency!!!!!!!!!!!!
Totally agree Mikel. We were swanning around for 15 mins thinking our pretty patterns would get us a goal eventually but we didn't create anything, fell asleep and conceded and then the nightmare second half appeared. I wonder how Phil's teamtalk went:
Phil: "I'm taking off our two wingers, going to a 4-4-2 with a half-fit Didier, an anonymous Anelka and using two central midfielders on the flanks just to ensure we play the second half with no width or pace."
Team: "Whatever you say boss, after all you have won the World Cup. So that means whatever decision you make is bound to be the right one!"
Fook moi, that was a bit of a shocker.
Bad night at the office, no doubt; Mikel showed that despite his excellent performances this season and the overall promise, he still has a fair bit to learn at this level - that was the kind of game that was crying out for a bit of Makelele-esque guile and experience in the middle (Carvalho was missed tonight too). Snoozing defence for the first and then two very good goals - scoreline did rather reflect that we're a bit more open given that we push on to team more these days too.
Group looks a bit squeaky and despite the fact that a few questions need to be asked about tonight, I don't think we'll play that badly in Bordeaux. Scolari may be new to the competition, but I imagine he'll learn a lesson or two from that.
Has to be said that unless the ref told Deco to wait before taking the free kick, that was an excessively harsh sending off.
Agree with you on the upside, Mark - good nail-biter against Cluj on the cards...
And who the f**k are the Scousers paying?!
@Kaiser
We thought Phil would have learnt something after labouring to a draw against Spurs, or against Utd, or struggling past Roma at home or failing to get a shot on target against Liverpool. I don't hold out much hope he's found a new tactic to defeat these very good sides.
Anyone know why we're still favourites for the CL? And Phil looking to book the hotel for the final. Seems to have come back to bite him in the arse like saying we're the new invincibles and that we're going to win the Quad.
And who the f**k are the Scousers paying?!
Yes another soft Stevie Me penalty won, it just beggars belief what he gets away with!
@ Habs - swallow a happy pill or six mate. Really when age and experience are added to your armoury you'll look back on your posts and think to yourself 'perhaps I should keep away from the Big Red Panic Button'.
We're top of the group, better goal difference and arguably the hardest team and stickiest fixtures in the form of Roma is out of the way. Maybe their bad spell is just finishing and true capability is coming to the fore. Who knows, but I'm not panicking yet, every team has to take a spank every now, and rarely does it do any harm, in fact it often does them good and brings them to earth a bit. I wouldn't fancy being Blackburn after this. To be honest Habs its results in the knockout rounds that mean more.
And don't be fooled by the club booking the hotel - it's normal practice unless we want to be staying in Mama Zavaroni's B&B. It's also worth noting that few sides reach the final one year and then win the next. Maybe Popeye needs time to add some, get rid of one or two and make his own mark on the team. Whatever, we're playing some good stuff and its not unusual for teams to do that but lose some of the steel and discipline that is needed to grind down more awkward opponents. Popeyes too experienced not to have noted this and be working on it. When Essien, Ballack and Riccy are back I get the feeling that 'steel' might just be a bit more apparent.
@Tony
Yeah, sorry about that. It's just defeats are such a rare thing nowadays they count as a shock to me. If it was still the Vialli era then defeats wouldn't have such a large impact but i guess i was spoiled by Jose's spell at the club when we only lost a handful of games.
I'll get back to the election to cool off.
@Tony
That's exactly where I am. The wheels came off today, but I really think it is a good loss in a way. We were exposed- and so we can work on it. Better now than later. I don't have any worries that we will qualify. We have been poor with finishing lately, now we pay the price. I'm not optimistic about the result... I'm just optimistic about the future of the team.
We have a ton of injuries, our best striker was on the pitch for only his second time, we are just learning a new style of play from a new manager. These things take time, and so far the results have been good- ahead of schedule I would say.
I don't see us winning the CL this year, just due to the reasons I listed above. I think we have as good of a shot as any at taking the Prem. Maybe a cup as well. That would be a nice season, and anything more would be great. There is a very long road ahead. I'm not panicking.
Anelka has a bad game and we win
malouda has a bad game and we win
deco has a bad game and we still win
mikel has a bad game and we lose.....BADLY
how am i gonna face those wankers at work tomorrow...
well hope Obama wins ....and links on the results so far?
HEY WAS THAT ME SULKING....
we lost so what we still gonna qualify top of d group...big deal
Oh, and Liverpool? I want them to have a fine run of form now. Don't care how they do it. The longer they are thinking Quad, the better. I want them to play as many games as possible this year. Nothing like a nice set of tired, heavy legs at the end of the season. They don't have their champion's league winning formula of "tank the prem early" to fall back on this year. As long as they end up second in all competitions I'll be content. That's what counts.
@ DannyBlue
I doubt there will be any definitive results before midnight central US time. Voting in the east is just now closing, voting in the west will continue for another 2 hours or so. And everyone is wary of the exit polls because of the last two elections. Stay tuned to nytimes.com, they have a great map/real time results/blog network.
My old favourite The Grauniad (sic) also has a very good rollover map for the election. Not sure why I'm so fascinated by this, perhaps its the prospect of some real change and a chance for America to become part of the world community again.
LINK
Not the same without Peter Snow and the Swing-o-meter. Do you think that shows my age?