The Bi-Polar Express End of Term Report: Class of 2008/09
Wednesday, 17 June 09, 07:43 PM · Comments (248)
The scene is the grand hall of St. Chelsea of Stamford Bridge School for Bi-Polar Excellence, somewhere in a leafy suburb in South West London Town. The uniformed students in varying degrees of piety and wretchedness stand in front of the main stage area, smirking and generally joshing as young men do. Some are mere scruffy haired urchins, others the model of senior pupil sartorial elegance. The Master of Ceremonies bangs the gavel three times onto the raised dais and in a slow but calm booming voice calls out the assembled throng.
“Please be standing for your Headmaster, the Right Reverend Dr. Anthony Jockstrap Blueheart-Glover.”
Silence descends upon the sniggering hordes and expressions change from boyish grins into respectful... nay fearful... frowns. Their moment is near. The Headmaster stands at the dais, peers over his funky designer vari-focal glasses, his authority visible through the glowering eyes and furrowed brow. The mortar board is tilted slightly as if just ever so slightly being positioned for a launching across the sea of faces at the first person to snigger, cough or twitch. No smile shows on his face. He merely exhibits a blank tableau of emotionless coldness. This is the moment of truth for the everyone in the school, from pupils to teachers and patrons alike.
“Gentlemen, you may sit... quietly.”
He gathers his thoughts through a moment’s pause, allowing the fear and trepidation to build just a little more...
“Today we are gathered here for annual public report covering the performance of all involved with St. Chelsea of Stamford Bridge School for Bi-Polar Excellence... gentlemen, this is a very important day for the school. Today you will find out just exactly where you stand on the things you did throughout this school year. For some this will be a chance to celebrate your achievements and to receive the deserved credit from your peers for your hard work. For others it will be an experience from which you should listen hard and learn from. For some, it will be painful, hard to hear and... as you know we believe the chance to be part of this esteemed establishment is one of life’s greatest honours. For those who have dishonoured our great establishment, there will be public scorn.”
The mood is sombre, for no member of the school can be sure of what to expect. Everyone has the nagging pain of doubt and fear.
“Gentlemen, we start of course with the pupils... the people upon who we trust to take us forward and through the delivery of great results, to take us to glories anew. To boldly go where no ‘Blue’ has gone before. Gentlemen, our defensive line first...”
“Mr. Petr Cech...” a pause and the tall slender figure looks up to the stage... “You’ve shown promise which still flickers on occasions, but you’ve let your fears overcome you and you have gone into your shell on too many occasions. You’re still a big hope for this school but I fear complacency has crept in because you don’t have to fight for your place. This will change and you must try harder if you’re to reach your earlier potential young man. 7/10 for results, 6/10 for effort.”
The young man looks downward to hide the merest hint of a smile. He knew he’d not been at his best but... he had another chance.
“Mr. John Terry...” the young man looks downwards... he is not sure what will follow... “Stand proud young man. You are the School Captain and of course, the captain for your country. You have been immense yet again. You sir, are a true leader and despite your shortcomings, you make up for all of this with effort, pride, passion and leadership. You have every right to be proud. 9/10 for results and 10/10 for effort.”
“Mr. Alex... what can I say? You fooled us into thinking you were a makeweight... a stand-in... a deputy... but this term you have been a revelation. When Senor Carvalho decided to get himself crocked you selflessly and tirelessly looked into the breach and then stepped into it. You’ve made one or two minor errors but young man, you can be proud of this term's achievements. Of course we will want more. 8/10 for results and 9/10 for effort.”
He looks down concealing the broad smile. Damn... he knew he was better than they said.
“Mr. Ashley Cole...” the fresh faced youngster looks bright eyed to the stage... “Despite your apparent problems keeping the old chap out of trouble, you have buckled down and produced your finest results since we rescued you from that North London School for Sleaze. You have ignored the hostility of the baying mobs from other schools to show your real capability. Well done young man. Just try to keep the trouser snake in its house... OK? 9/10 for results and 10/10 for effort.”
So far so good. The ensemble warms to the presence of the man they fear, loathe and love in equal measure.
“Sr. Jose Bosingwa... you show great promise but have a tendency to operate outside of the role we have planned for you. Occasionally you can’t decide which of your minds to operate... the great defender, or the marauding wing back. It has led us into some unnecessarily sticky situations, but you have great ball skill, score the odd goal and can cross the ball. In anyone’s books you’ve made a decent start. 7/10 for results and 7/10 for effort.”
“Sr. Carvalho... look at me boy! I don’t know what happened, but you’ve had so many injuries it’s affected your form. And now I am told you’re looking for pastures new with barbed comments about a lack of support from us. This school is a meritocracy young man, no-one has an automatic right to a starting place... well apart from Mr. Terry... and maybe young Francis Lampard. It’s a shame because you’ve been a good servant to us. Maybe it is time to part, but I’d rather hoped it was as friends rather than bitter former colleagues. 4/10 for results and 4/10 for effort. Good bye.”
“Mr. Ivanovic. I had my doubts. Under former Principle Grant I was even convinced that just like the badger, you were a made up entity. No-one ever saw you in the flesh. I am happy to say you’ve proved me wrong. You have a great future here, unless we get a silly offer. 8/10 for results and 9/10 for effort.”
“Master Mancienne. Keep it up lad, keep it up. You’re coming along nicely, just don’t rush things. 7/10 for results and 8/10 for effort.”
He pauses and with a lower, almost apologetic tone he says, “Paulo Ferreira and Joseph Cole, you are excused from any ratings on the basis of injuries sustained in the line of duty, however... young Joseph, you did display disturbing signs of a lack of awareness, focus and effort prior to your injury. One can only hope your absence has given you time to think and reflect on your early season folly.”
The back line breathes a sigh of relief. None can be too unhappy with their assessment. Sweaty palms are now dry, and pride swells as the Headmaster leads the congregation in a hearty round of applause.
Silence descends as the Head's patience suddenly seems to run out.
“Now we hear about the midfield, the linchpin between our brave defensive line and the front line boys of attack. Mr. Lampard... what can I say? You are a model of professionalism and consistency, an icon of this school and a man for whom the word professional could have been invented. You have big balls lad, and defended your honour well against that hideous radio oik who tried to besmirch your name. Your efforts alone in the FA Cup Final bought us that wonderful old trophy again. Gentlemen, I hereby announce that yet again, Francis Lampard is St. Chelsea’s Top Boy. 9/10 for results and 10/10 for effort.”
The crowd erupts into applause, including the Head. Only a small dejected figure refuses to join in. The Head spots this truculent boy and immediately stops clapping. He glowers at the quivering student... and the hush falls again. The reddened cheeks of the Head tell everyone in advance that this will not be pleasant. Then the roar starts...
“Sr. Deco! Yes, you boy, stand up will you! I had great hopes for you, but you’ve let me down badly. You’ve let the school down and you’ve let all these colleagues of yours down. You didn’t even try to adapt. You’re lazy... a quitter... you are NOT sufficiently bi-polar which makes you NOT the type of person we want at Chelsea. 2/10 for results and 1/10 for effort. Sir... you are dismissed... you are the weakest link... good bye.” At this point an embarrassed silence is rent asunder by the roar of laughter from the boys at a rare joke from Sir. And no, they’re not laughing with Deco, they are laughing at him.
“Herr Ballack... your arrogance serves you well. Sometimes I wonder what you do, but when you’re missing from the team, nothing seems to work quite so well. You are the archetypal midfield general. Unspectacular mostly, but mightily efficient. 7.5/10 for results, 8/10 for effort.”
“Essien... yes boy... you... wake up now. You also have what the Spanish call ‘cojones’. You battled back from injury to give everyone a lift in the latter part of term. Your success against Barcelona was indeed worthy of the biggest stage, it’s a shame your error led directly to that night of pain and anguish. However, you will have learnt that a Row Z punt is sometimes the right option and for your effort on returning we all forgive you that error. 7.5/10 for results and 9/10 for effort.”
“Obi. Obi... Obi... Obi. A big term for you which saw big improvements in your game. You are calm on the ball and reassuringly solid in midfield. You are very much part of the future. 8/10 for results, 7/10 for effort.”
“Mr. Salomon Kalou. Kalou-less as we like to call you. You have talent but seem to lack intelligence. You are our Scarecrow. For all this I believe you can still be a great player and this season has seen some improvement, especially when linking with Monsieur Anelka and Mr. Drogba. 7/10 for results and 7/10 for effort. Must try harder.”
All that could be heard was the shuffling of rich young backsides shuffling in their seats. A swarthy young Frenchman sat quietly with beads of sweat pouring down his face. He knew what was next.
“Monsieur Florent Malouda. Stand up boy. You had a disastrous year last term, and for much of this year you were equally as bad. But of course our relief teacher Mr. Hiddink came in and saw something in you. It is a credit to the man that whatever he did, it saw you transform into a model pupil finally achieving close to the potential we first saw in you. For that you are to be congratulated but it must continue. Another term of slacking will see you spending time with Sr. Deco. 8/10 for results eventually and 7.5/10 for effort... sit back down and think about what I’ve said. You have the ability, now just continue to show the desire.”
“Sr. Belletti, a sterling effort but I fear we must part. On good terms of course. 7/10 for results and 7/10 for effort.”
“Gentlemen, before we move on, honourable mentions here for Masters Stoch and Di Santo, especially for their efforts against Stoke City which helped us win a game that looked to have slipped from our grasp. Both have futures, maybe with us maybe not, but I do hope our new Principle does give them the chance to show their mettle...” he turns the page and smiles... “Now onto the attack dogs...” the boys laughed as this was a perennial school joke term for what was often viewed as the most thankless of roles, but often the most rewarding.
“Monsieur Anelka. The great misfit, the great wanderer and the moody one. Top scorer huh? We all knew you would score goals because it’s what you do, but to see the work rate and the effort, the selflessness and the sheer ability on the ball has been revelatory for many. A very good year indeed and we fully expect you to take a leaf from Top Boy's book and repeat this next year. It’s good to see you working so well with the team. 9/10 for results and 8/10 for effort.”
“Gentlemen, onto the last of the pupils...” a tall muscular boy stands up... the Head looks down. This boy is the puzzle inside the riddle wrapped in the enigma.
“Mr. Drogba. The most bi-polar of all. Dissenting one minute, unswervingly loyal the next. A complex boy, a thinking boy... a boy who maybe thinks too much. Comfortable in his skin one minute, fighting the world the next. But on your day there is no-one better and for that you may find yourself indulged a little longer. One last bit of advice. Even if something is a fucking disgrace, it’s best you don’t share that with a cameraman. 8/10 for results and 6/10 for effort... mainly due to the idiocy of your early season performances. Although I do understand the issues you had with our former Principle, this alone cannot excuse your performance at the Theatre of Nightmares that is Old Trafford.”
The boy smiles. He knows where he’s well off but it’s taken a long time to work it out. He also knows... he just knows he can make it up to the lads. He just needs to stop thinking so much...
The Head looks across the crowd. Not bad he thinks. The new Principle, Signor Carlo Ancelotti looks on from the side of the front row. He has been taking copious notes and his face gives no clue as to the future of this group.
“We give thanks to Mr. Abramovich for the support he has given us, and we continue to acknowledge his part in this school's progress towards bi-polar excellence. To Mr. Kenyon, the Chief Purser we throw a nod as acknowledgement for your part in building our new brand. Your Mancunian roots still serve as a point of distrust in your desire to see the team become successful though. To Sr. Scolari... all I can say is this: After a promising start it became all too obvious that we severely misjudged your ability to operate on a daily basis at this level with such talented athletes. Unfortunately for you our rivals also saw through your one and only game plan and therefore it was without much regret that you had to go. 6/10 for results and 6/10 for effort... mainly due to the fact that you really didn’t seem too bothered about whether you stayed or departed.”
“Finally, to Mr. Guus Hiddink, the school and its devoted followers and staff would like to doff an almighty mortar board in your direction. Despite my own personal misgivings you showed that game plans needed to change, you restored fitness, pride and most of all belief. You made us close to being a title winning side, you got us close to the Champions League Final again after Sr. Scolari had stumbled us through the group stages. And you brought us a first trophy for two years, whilst at the same time finally extinguishing the ghost of The Special One. Francis Lampard Jr. maybe Top Boy, but you get the award for Top Man. 9/10 for results and 10/10 for effort. You will always have a special place in our hearts and will be most welcome to come back in some capacity after your Russian adventure is over.”
Spontaneous applause erupts and no-one can hear the sobbing of the Brazilian Portuguese boy standing alone outside holding a suitcase. The Head casts a final eye across the crowd... and once again speaks...
“Good people, this has been an eventful year, a rollercoaster ride of highs and more lows than we care to experience. All of which makes us stronger. The highs came against Juventus and Liverpool in the Champions League, beating an old Principle from this school whilst remembering fondly his efforts to move us on during... less affluent times. The Liverpool games will live long in all our hearts... well... those that carried on beating afterwards!” A ripple of laughter washes around the hall. “The win over Arsenal in the FA Cup and the Premier League more than compensated for them being the second team to come to our revered home ground and beat us publicly. Our marvellous away record is another point to be proud of, and of course who can forget the FA Cup Final day and the joy that saw us bring the oldest trophy in football back to this special place. Of course the lows were out in force as well, notably our first home defeat in four years to our mortal sworn enemies from the red half of Merseyside. The Arsenal defeat stuck in the craw especially when the winning goal was so blatantly offside. The defeat... well the technical defeat against Barcelona hurt a lot as well, but no-one this year anywhere gave them such two hard games as we did. And for me, the real lows were pathetic displays at home against Newcastle and Hull. It was the Hull game that sealed Sr. Scolari’s fate. The owner patently having seen enough to know his investment was in danger of being set adrift, but not on memory bliss. We now look to Signor Ancelotti to guide us onto more and greater glories. We wish him luck. I now declare this school term officially over – enjoy your holidays boys. We’ll see some of you next year.”
The hats fly into the air, proud parents clap from the sides. Wives and girlfriends squeal with delight. The boys break into broad smiles and a spontaneous three cheers for the Head.
He once again peers over the rims of the glasses, a taut smile starting to form as the pride swells inside him. He is tired. He’s kicked every ball, tackled every player, and headed every cross. He’s laughed, he’s cried, and he’s shouted and screamed. He’s looked on in a silent mixture of dismay and disbelief. He’s jumped for joy and hugged more strangers than is probably appropriate. He has lived and breathed the St. Chelsea of Stamford Bridge School for Bi-Polar Excellence. These are his boys. Now he can rest and recharge, and like everyone else can watch the summer madness unravel in front of him.
The Right Reverend Dr. Anthony Jockstrap Blueheart-Glover slips away quietly, slowly closing the huge wooden door behind him. Time to think about next week’s edition of the Bi-Polar Express.
Keep the Blue Flag Flying High!
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248 Comments · Add yours
A masterpiece which is eeily reminiscent of a public school awards day.
Under two weeks until Carlo's arrival. Just enough time to recharge the batteries.
A masterpiece that will be a classic and an all-time favorite for me, thank you for the great effort 10/10 Mr. Glover :) you make me proud that I'm a Chelsea fan.
Loved it, and agree with pretty much every word.
You forgot Mineiro!
Reply to PeteW:
Didn't we all... He's probably on his way to Uzbekistan as I type.
Nice one TG, comprehensive and accurate on the state of all things blue during last season.
Liking the new name; are you going to change it by deed poll then?!
Reply to PeteW:
Hi Pete - I couldn't really think of anything to write about for him - to the best of my knowledge he only played once and that was from the bench. I did toy with something but in the interests of space I decided to quietly forget him.
@ KJ - it does have a ring about it!
Excellent.
Awesome piece, Tony!
We had kids in our school who were on the register but never actually made it through the gates; some of them had been held back for so long they were probably the same age as Mineiro by the time they finally left.
Great piece of writing!!!
And there he goes, gown flowing as he pedals his way through the glory of those long gone halcyon summers, past the playing fields, pausing only to wave his tennis racket at some recalcitrant members of the Remove...
Of course some spotty youth will leap out from behind a bush and splat the beautifully pressed and starched shirt of your fine piece with the catapulted inkspot of vitriol but hey ho such are the hazards faced by the blogeur.
Oh it’s Goodbye Mr Chips, The Browning Version, Jennings, Billy Bunter all rolled into one marvellous toasted crumpet of loveliness, to be savoured in the quiet of one’s study, while ones fag, poker in hand, firmly prods about in the embers of one’s grate(ahem).
Splendid, splendid work. Really enjoyed it (in the office without a fag in sight).
I am reminded of Dr Jonathan Miller being interviewed by Michael Parkinson. When asked by Parky what was the outstanding memory of his days at boarding school, he paused, thought and then said “Avoiding buggery”.
Thought you were slightly harsh on Riccy. His season never got going and he has not been one to kick up in the past. Given his sterling service to the club I’d hate to see him leave under a cloud. Deep down I’m hoping his injuries will be sorted and he can give us a couple of more seasons.
As a kid, my favourite types of book were about English boarding schools and WWII prisoner-of-war camps. I'm sure a child pyschiatrist would have had a field day.
6/10 for Scolari?! Yo've got to be joking, mate. 2/10 at max even though our Goals For was healthy in the Premier League - the reason you agreed to stick with him & laughed at my misgivings if I remember correctly.
I would have given 9/10 for Drogs' results (FA Cup Final goal, FA Cup Semi Final goal, goals in both legs of CL v Liverpool, goals in both legs of CL v Juventus) but 6/10 for effort is just about right throughout the season (2/10 during Scolari & 9/10 during Hiddink). I agree with most of the other ratings. A very good read, indeed. Have a good summer.
KTBFFH!
Just to add to the notable praise you've received from fellow posters, excellent, excellent, excellent.
And I leave you with a section of lyrics which sums up, (well to me anyway) what this club and fans are all about...
And so we'll argue and we'll compromise
And realize that nothing's ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same
Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
A reason coexists with our insanity
And so we choose between reality and madness
It's either sadness or euphoria.
Excellent work as usual Tony.
I can't tell you how glad I am that I never went to an English boarding school...
Also, I must commend Peregrine, as he had an excellent post in the last thread about our fixtures. This leads me to think about what the African Cup of Nations will do to our side.
We will be missing Drogs, Kalou, Essien, Mikel. This puts a substantial dent into our starting 11, and leaves us without cover if there are injuries.
A theoretical starting 11 (subject to Ancelotti's new formation, youth promotion, etc.) if we don't make a single buy this summer:
Bosingwa/Ivanovic-Alex-Terry-A. Cole
J. Cole-Ballack-Mancienne/Ivanovic-Lampard-Malouda
Anelka
(random thought: does the January transfer window and the ACN coincide? We may be forced to panic buy.)
Now, this is a good squad, but there are some serious problems- if there are any injuries, we have no cover for Joe Cole or Malouda, or Anelka. Perhaps Di Santo will be ready by then, perhaps not. Stoch looks very good, maybe he will also be sufficient. But this is hard to tell.
If Carlo decides to run his Christmas Tree formation, which is anyone's guess, but he's done it before, so it is entirely possible, I would expect the 3-2-1 part to look like
Essien-Mikel-Ballack
Lampard-Malouda
Drogba
With the ACN, we don't have enough cover for the midfield three.
This, to me, is why buying Pirlo or Gattuso or both is not unrealistic. We shouldn't pay a lot for them, and they should fit a certain need. But I hope Carlo knows what he is doing, and if we buy both and win the Champions League, it won't matter much if they are both over 30.
I watched Pirlo during the US-Italy game, and he was excellent. I have no idea how much time is left in his legs, but the precision in his passes and crosses is just first-rate.
Lastly, and this may be inappropriate in this thread, but I'm sure some of you are going to watch (or are currently watching) the US-Brazil game.
I'm at work, and so I must record it and watch later. I'm also going to watch Italy-Egypt to get another look at Gattuso and Pirlo. I'm intentionally keeping myself in the dark as to the scores of both. If you plan to discuss either, please put a warning at the top of your post.
But I send out a plea to those who watch the US-Brazil game: What is wrong with the US team? I have lots of thoughts on my own, but there is very little discussion in the US press by knowledgeable writers as to the failings of the US team.
I greatly respect the opinions of the commenters and bloggers here, and I'd love to get a fresh opinion on the team, and why we aren't good. This will be a perfect match- it is exactly the kind of game the US team habitually fails in. I'd love to hear anything that catches your eye- players, tactics, substitutions, etc.
I know everyone will be focusing on watching Brazil, but I would appreciate it if anyone has thoughts as to the US if they could jot them down here.
Thanks!
Reply to Be_Champions:
Hi Be....So far.......
Ill tempered players allowing frustration to shine through.
Lack of inspiration and any sort of playmaker.
They looked beaten as they walked out.
No cohesion and frankly today they look a little like rabbits in headlights. Maybe the Brazil game isn't the best to judge them on.
I'm shocked as it wasn't so long ago they looked to be a real developing team. To this end they remind me of South Africa who a few short years ago seemed destined to be the most powerful African footballing nation but in recent years have faded badly in comparison to Nigeria, Cameroon, Egypt and of course Cote D'Ivoir.
I don't mean this to be scathing, but it has to be said they looked a long way out of their depth today.
Reply to Be_Champions:
My guess is that lacking a Public School (as in the UK rather than US meaning)Education, they lack the stiff upper lip and all round spine that this gives a chap.;-)
After all as the Duke of Wellington was supposed to have said, "Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton" or was that "in the dormitories", I can't remember that far back......
Reply to ChelseaTony:
I Don't think we've faded that badly. Okay, we failed to qualify for AFCON this year but that's just a temporary rebuild issue. I think all we need is a finisher like the other nations have/had. We need an Adebayor or a Drogba or an Eto'o in order to progress. We have good midfielders in Modise, Pienaar, Tshabalala and Sibaya, and our defense isn't the worlds worst with Gaxa, Masilela, Booth and Mokoena.
I think As soon as Parker develops enough to replace McCarthy we'll be fine.
I was just watching BRAZIL play like CHELSEA!!! Shit is happening as one speaks. And its funny if you think about it.
Whatever happened to the Brazil of 94, the France of 98, Germany of 96. Since when has Brazil's only way of getting into the box been through a CROSS OR A LONG BALL?
Reply to Moffat:
Don't know what game you were watching but i saw Brazil beat USA at walking pace while playing relaxed and controlled football. As the commentator put it, they play possession football along the floor for ages and then burst into life when they see a chance. Their breakaway goal from USA's corner was classic counter attacking at pace and their 3rd goal was typical Brazilian pass and move football. Any of that sound like long balls or crosses?
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Scathing? I thought you were kind!
Thanks for your opinion. To my eyes, the US team have everything wrong, top to bottom. Personnel are mediocre, at best- and they select the wrong ones. Tactics are atrocious, and they never reflect the team they are playing against. The US team isn't good enough to pull a Brazil or Spain and say "this is the way we play, deal with it."
The rabbit in the headlights comment is very accurate. They are never comfortable on the ball, the team never tries to hold possession and work against the defense. Always long balls over the top which tire out the midfielders and strikers, and open up space which the team can't deal with.
I think the current head coach should be fired. There is a "promote from within" mentality for the coach, but we aren't enough of a talented footballing nation to create decent coaches. Tactical discipline must come from the outside, in order to forge a "style" of play that works. We don't have the coaching talent to do it ourselves.
There are some ok players on the side- I like Clint Dempsey, but I also know that he's no better than advertised- he's a midfielder for Fulham. Jozy Altidore is young and talented. Otherwise we are in trouble. Landon Donovan is our Raul. I hate him so much- the team always relies upon him, but he isn't good enough at the international level.
We will lose to Egypt as well. Hopefully the cries for Bradley's head will grow loud by then. Maybe we can convince Jurgen Klinsman to take over the side in the run to the WC. It isn't like this is an abberation- we lost to Guatemala last week. The team's form has been poor.
Wow, Madrid are complete idiots LINK
They want to sell all the players who they brought like 20 years ago. Well they wont get what they paid for them. Thats for sure. I hate that we get critisized for every signing we make and this ridiculous policy they have is welcomed.
Reply to 13Joe13:
Like 2 years ago not 20 years lol
Good and bad news in the transfer market judging by tomorrow's papers. Firstly, Kenyon is doing some good work in Madrid concerning Aguero but his personal terms are stalling the deal. To me that would be a great buy so well done Kenyon. Secondly, Bayern want Bosingwa (not too unhappy at losing him if we have a replacement and can get Ribery in exchange alongside a cheque from Roman) but in ther RB news, we've also had a £17.5m offer for Glen accepted. Yep, £17.5m for a guy we sold for £4m two years ago! I love getting English talent into the first team squad but flogging a RB who can't defend for another seems a little strange. And finally, Pato has released another come and get me plea to Carlo and to me Pato would be the best buy we could make this summer.
So things appear to be picking up.
Reply to haberdashers:
Excuse my lack of excitement Habs, but that sounds like exactly the same articles as last week's efforts........
I will believe it, when someone actually turns up at the Bridge in a Chelsea shirt!
Assume we must be pretty confident that we're going to sell Boswinga, despite the three-match ban he's facing. very odd: just when I thought we were out of the Johnson deal, they pulled us back in.
I'm with Greenlight as my eyes have glazed over with boredom already at the endless recycling of unsubstantiated transfer bollocks by the media.
A good case in point is this which dramatically headlines "Chelsea losing battle to keep Jose Bosingwa from Bayern's clutches":
LINK
except it turned out to be just yesterday's, if not the day before's, article with an unjustified new headline. As one of the comments at the bottom points out it still says Bayern admit they haven't got any approval from Chelsea at all.
I knew the whole transfer madness had turned my brain to mush when I read some highly reliable item [Tribal Football quoting The Sun, I think] that Bristol City are going to buy Scott Sinclair.
I mis-read the amount as £15 million rather than £1.5 million and in a world where Glen Johnson is apparently worth £17.5m I didn't even pause for thought till much later it struck me as unlikely that Bristol City can afford the higher figure on even the most extended payments terms.
Roll on 1st September for some relief from this nonsense, is there any space left in your dark hidey hole, Clive?
Reply to blueboydave:
Best we apply for planning permission to make said dark hidey hole a multiple bedroomed residence; room for one more...?!
Be amusing to snatch Johnson from under the noses of the Scousers; silly money premium for young English players which will become more common if the '6 + 5' rule comes into force (unlikely, I think). Believe it when I see him in a Chelsea shirt (again) though.
Reply to blueboydave:
There's plenty of room, hell I'll even throw in supplies of our local liquid refreshment.
Sorry Tony you can't come as I would probably need a whole apple orchard to keep you happy. ;-)
Reply to Clive:
Errr....I'd be quite happy with the pear aoption Clive!
Or guinness.
Is there somewhere to smoke one of my finest Cubans?
Reply to ChelseaTony:
I'm afraid you'll have to fight with my good lady wife over the pear option, she has taken a liking to it. So I suppose guinness it might have to be.
Aren't Cubans illegal???? ;-)
Reply to Clive:
Only in the USA!
You just can't beat a good long Cuban ;-)
Reply to ChelseaTony:
See, this is much better than transfer speculation.
You just can't beat good old "Carry On" type innuendo, now where's Mark when you need him?
Haven't seen any mention today of an update to the Aguero story, but signing him / Pato / A N Other striker has to be at the forefront of our dealings to combat the ACN / Drogba Euro ban double-whammy. I'm afraid getting Sturridge onboard wont suffice in this instance, we have four Champions League games to navigate without our main striker and any team would dtruggle under those circumstances.
Surprised to see no mention that Ovrebo has been seconded to referee games from the forth division of the Uzbekistan U14 blind girls league, but maybe Platini is holding off that announcement for now...
Was off yesterday as it was my birthday, but I see that CFC have treated me by joining the race for Johnson. Most definitely NOT the present I wanted under any circumstances, particularly those that cost £18.5million....
If what I just seen is true,I cannot believe we are going to pay for Glenn Johnson £17 Million for a player who we sold for less than half of that and in all fairness we helped make into an England International. To me this is just madness and makes us look quite frankly as stupid as the keane saga at Liverpool!! I know in life things change but this just seems ridiculous! Anyway rant over......
What an amazing piece. The hairs on the back of my Hicksville neck stood up multiple times as did goosebumps all over my my arms and fat chevy chase.
We'll see you in the fall boys, just when my bipolarity will need to be meddled with again.
- G
Tony, this is probably the best report I ever read on this site !!! Funny, creative , but so serious and true!
Glen Johnson is great, but we bought him for 6 million I think, sold him for 4 and now we are going to buy him for 17 !!! Seems stupid, but its our fault we PREFERED fERREIRA over Glen Johnson who was always very overrated in my opinion...
Just to tip blueboydave over the edge they’re now throwing Lucas Neil into the mix as a possible right back.
LINK
Lordy could you feel any more confused and distressed if you woke up and found yourself naked in the middle of a full Wembley Stadium trying to have sexual congress with a tethered and rather worried looking goat.
Whatever about his footballing ability Glen Johnson is first choice for the Christmas party Hokey Cokey as he’s already been in and out once already.
This was a blessed escape from transfer related nonsense.
LINK
I particularly liked “My friend stomped over to him. "They're English. They're male," he barked. "They're not supposed to fucking communicate." He has now been relieved of his duties, which is probably just as well, all things considered.”
Reply to BlueBayou:
Saw that - great article; as one of the comments suggests, this is an absolute gem of a line:
"When it came to old-fashioned attitudes to discipline he made Douglas Jardine look like Haringey Council."
Wonderful.
Where can I buy a copy of the "Big Boys Book Of Shouty Football Phrases" to distract me from transfer nonsense - or would some one like to offer some choice sections on here?
I cant believe we are about to splash out £17m on Glen Johnson, A player who we let go a couple of years ago for almost nothing and this when we already have Bosingwa and Ferreira. Its not as if we have to sell J.B to Bayern, We are a far better team than them and given the choice he would proberbly rather stay at Stamford Bridge
LINK
possibly a coach for the future?
Utter Cuntery is a phrase I learnt from this blog and this summarizes it.
LINK
Who the fuck is this retard?
Reply to Neanderthal:
I have to say, I was surprised we are appealing it.
As much as it is a fairly big ban, we won't win an appeal and I wouldn't be surprised if it is extended just to prove that UEFA are in charge!
Agree with Greenlight, the decision to appeal is pretty bizarre and will undoubtedly lead to extended bans for both DD and Bosingwa which will only hinder us more throughout the group games - I wouldn't be surprised if DD isn't available until the knockout stages at the earliest.
Still, Platini bleats on and on about money ruining the game, then has the chance to do some serious financial damage to a club, and we get awarded an £85k fine? That's like me being fined 4p and a tea bag.
Getting swept away unnecessarily on a tide of transfer rumour bobbins, Valencia ae apparently making the right noises about Villa by insisting he joins us as we've bid the most. Striker and midfielder are definitely what we need for ACN replacements. And, Mr Ancelotti, I dont mean Sehvchenko and Pirlo.
Reply to Greenlght:
Yes, the appeal surprises me too, but is a statement at least. Trite and useless but I like it
Reply to Fiftee:
That fool has finally spoken against a club outside England. Must be his PR team.
LINK
On a different note, it was pretty sad to see the Owen Dossier.
LINK
The appeal is worth a punt; Drogba's ban is maybe one game too much but Bosingwa's is daft considering that he apologised and withdrew his comments. Not really had time to read the judgement but it sounds like UEFA have used a general 'unsportsmanlike conduct' type rule to punish them with a heavier ban when there are actually set (shorter) penalties for abuse of an official as a stand-alone offence.
Worth a go - actually think we might get some mileage out of it.
Tend to agree with you JD - unlike their rigid "no apppeals against dodgy red cards" stance don't UEFA have a bit of a track record for backing down on length of bans/amount of fines imposed for other offences when clubs appeal?
The Owen Dossier must deserve some kind of award for how not to do it. As ever Martin Samuel sums it up in the last para of his column today:
"The biggest problem with ‘Michael Owen Summer 2009’ as the brochure is called — pitching it exactly like a Boden catalogue to these ears — is this. I am a Michael Owen fan. I have faith that, injury free, he could be a leading goalscorer in English football. And I could not think of a single reason why an ambitious Premier League club would not want to buy him.
Until now."
Well, at least we got to the semi-final...
Blast, I thought we were gonna at least draw with Spain but we played well anyway. How was Khune's save from Villa's penalty? Not bad methinks.
LINK
A Very good article.
mike, very good article indeed. Objective, what is really rare when press talks about us.
And about transfers...my wish is Ribery.Bosingwa plus money and we should get him. I like Bosingwa, great player, but if we get Ribery...I know , I am greedy.
Glen Johnson...we have to spend big if we want an improved team. We need to buy him if we sell Bosingwa,but or defence is great.Bane Ivanovic can play on the right. So, I am...undecided on this topic...it was mistake to let him go,the question is will it be mistake to buy him again?
Reply to Sarah:
of course
The myth that it was wrong to sell Johnson needs to be dispelled; he went because he wasn't good enough (or indeed smart enough), simple as. One (albeit very good) season with a very mediocre side during which he played as much in midfield as he did defence doesn't make him worth £18m; being young, half decent and English has bumped the price up to daft levels, that's all.
And just to add an even bigger turd to the swimming pool that is Monday's gossip; as follows...
0945 BST: Andriy Shevchenko wants to honour his contract with Chelsea and will report for pre-season training with the Blues on 9 July. The Ukraine forward, who spent last season on loan at AC Milan, has one year left on his deal with the Stamford Bridge side.
0829 BST: AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi has said the Serie A club is open to offers for Andrea Pirlo, amid speculation the Italy midfielder could join former Milan coach Carlo Ancelotti at Chelsea.
Fucking hell.
@JD
There's still room in my hidey hole, it's not too late to escape from the madness. But I will add another few days of you living in "speculation world" and you'll be beyond saving
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
...though depending which ever reliable source you read Sheva may be happy to join Roma if Ancelotti doesn't want him at Chelsea nymore than than he did at Milan last season.
Glad we've cleared that one up almost as much as yesterday's "Abramovich enters chase for Tevez" story propagated by The Observer, based apparently on nothing more than Roman being peeved at missing out on Robinho, Kaka and [probably] Johnson and Ribery.
I read this about 2 minutes after "a Chelsea source" was quoted, with quotation marks and everything saying "there is no current interest from us in Carlo Tevez" in the Sunday Mirror - though that was probably because they were touting a "Chelsea join race to grab Alonso" story instead... sigh.... I might have to start watching the tennis at this rate....
must... stop... reading... gossip...
Tennis? Do they still shout 'Come on Tim!'?
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Only on "The Now Show" I think ;-)
Far be it from me to darken the morning of Wimbledon’s first day. I know you are all heading down to the local court, clad in tennis whites, hats at a jaunty angle, hampers bulging with strawberries and cream, longing for that Pimms O’Clock moment. (I feel that a sober suit and addressing the judge politely is far more likely to help you avoid a custodial sentence...)
But pause a moment and look at this. When will he stop? I am not steeped in Old Norse and Early English and neither have I studied gynaecology but I think I know what he is and the Anglo Saxons had a word for it.
LINK
What I find strange is why they give him space in a national newspaper to whinge on with his bitter Chelsea hating, narrow minded “Millwall-fan” mentality?
It’s not amusing, informative or entertaining. Oh, it might entertain a few Chelsea haters for a moment but even they might like something pitched a little above the mentality of a brain-damaged whelk.
There I was enjoying a weekend visit to lovely Whitstable. After a bracing morning stroll along the beach I was mooching over a morning coffee, munching a sundried tomato and mozzarella panini (pretentious moi?). The café had free papers so I picked up a copy of the Sunday Times Sport section. Leafing through, I came upon the offending article. It quite altered my mood of general well-being. It’s just so inconsequential yet so irritating.
There should be a law against it.
After reading the article BlueBayou, I stumbled across another piece by the disturbed twat, interestingly on the subject of the winker. He still managed to somehow include us into his vitriol, even though the brunt of his venom was meant to be aimed at that other guy we all love:
It is a shame, in a way, that he did not end up at Chelsea, a shame for the sense of symmetry. Ronaldo-Hilton-Stamford Bridge, a sort of axis of evil against which we could all converge, howling abuse, preternaturally averse. But instead he has gone to Real Madrid, a team who, even more than our own top three, are beholden to the notion that money buys success — even though in recent years it is a notion that has suffered one or two reverses. And the fee — £80m, another reason to dislike the man.
LINK
I pray to the football gods that we draw those c**ts in the FA Cup or league cup next season and absolutely hammer them. Thrashing Millwall is always sweet but after reading Liddle's corrupt rubbish, it would make it even better. Drogba scoring a hat trick would be the icing on the cake.
Anyone for Tennis?
Unfortunately, with Murray in good form and warm weather forecast, this year's commentary will be as biased and unbearable as one of liddle rod's maledictions.
If I do get to watch any, then it's gonna require a pair of headphones and a listen to something entirely unrelated.
Might be a good opportunity to put a headset on and sort out my LP's from the loft
Almost forgot: Congrats to all our US blogistadors.
Only caught the highlights but they did the job and looked OK.
Still not sure how the US managed to sneak through. 0 points and -4 goal difference before yesterday's matches!
Rod Liddle appears to be billed by the Times as 'the most controversial commentator on sport in the British media.'
If talking crap is controversial, I suppose he is.
Funny lot, the tennis crowd. Mate of mine went and saw a Henman game in the early 2000's and offered the rational and considered opinion to a few folk nearby that their suggestion that Tim would beat Sampras that year was possibly wide of the mark, given that 'Pistol' Pete (as I believe he was known) was one of the greats of the modern era.
He almost had to leave when several women in brightly coloured rainwear virtually threatened to eviscerate him with an assortment of plastic cutlery for daring to suggest such a thing.
Cliff Richard fans - vicious lot.
They are indeed an odd bunch.
I worked with a young and otherwise normal guy who takes these two weeks off every year to catch a few games live and watch the rest on TV.
When we asked who his favourite players were he said Federer and Lindsay Davenport!
Now, Lindsay may be an excellent player and is now a very good mum no doubt, but surely the attraction of women's tennis is somewhere other than the powerful serve and volley technique of the participants...
Strange beasts, these tennis buffs.
It's all that grunting that I find troublesome. Would put you right off your stroke.*
* - backhand, obviously.
Ah, the grunting. I'd forgotten what joys the next couple of weeks hold in store!
All we need is for Murray to fess up that he's really a Scottish Nationalista and then the summer madness could really begin!
You've got to love Wimbledon. Maybe the transfer rumours will take a back seat now that the press can get carried away in 'Murray-fever'.
Andy Murray - Britains great hope. Until he loses, then he's just a Scot. The papers do it every year. Makes me giggle.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
I'm sure a few of our bloggers are partial to some backhand over the net. ;-)
Reply to Clive:
It's all in the wrist, apparently. Ahem...
Enough with the smuttiness already.
Remember that this we're talking about Cliff's fortnight.
Apparently he's still smarting over the fact that they spent millions just to get a roof so he wouldn't sing again.
Reply to Number9:
Thanks.
I have yet to see the game- I was stuck on a bus for ~6 hours last night. That game and a review of the Brazil-Italy goals will have to be tonight.
Of course, now, I have my own personal footballing armageddon. I have to watch a US-Spain game, and I am not happy about it. This is the game I never wanted to see.
My footballing loyalties are divided. I HAVE to support the US as an American, but as my family is Spanish, they are the only other international side that I actually support.
Losses by the US hurt, but not too bad, as that's what the US does... lose. Losses by Spain really hurt, because they shouldn't lose. Now, I have to watch this game, and I can't be happy about the outcome either way.
I really hope that it doesn't go to penalties. The odds on that are low, but so were the odds of the US getting to the semis...
Reply to Be_Champions:
You're definitely a cup half empty sort of chap, then.
From this side of the pond we'd be delighted that one of our teams was going to win!
Reply to Fiftee:
That's why we never really took to Rudzeski.
Not just because he was Canadian. Nothing wrong with that.
Canadians what I like that spring to mind: Neil Young, most bits of The Band, Robertson Davies, Margaret Attwood. You youngsters will know Arcade Fire.
Solid sort of a place Canada. I believe they overtook Sweden recently as the nation most people would trust to look after the World's nuclear arsenal if was to be stored in one place or something like that.
No it was bcause you could have Perrymania (if you can remeber that far back), Henmania, Murraymania but poor old Greg. I suppose we could have had Gregmania? But it's not the same.
Tell me peoples, 'cause I don't follow too closely. We had Henman Hill. Is it now Murray mound? Or does that sound too much like an old burial chamber or a vaguely pornographic reference from a poorly written piece of erotica?
If he does at all well, it's for certain there'll be a few cases of Murray Myopia in the press for a while!
Sorry to get you back to the press, I feel evil already, but the BBC and Skysports are both reporting that Sahar has completed his move to Espanyol.
I wonder how much we got paid for him,and is that a sign of how Carlo will treat our youngsters?
were they too many questions?
Bayou, it is Murray Mound I believe. Not Murray Mountain, or Murray Molehill - btoh too dramatic I guess.
There was talk it'd be nearly £1m for Sahar, which would actually be good business for someone who played about 5 times for the first team. Until you see that Blackburn have taken Citeh for a ride over Santa Cruz. £15m after what, a good season the first one he was here, and nothing at all last year.
Thanks for that. Good to see a man who's across the whole sporting world. A sort of Dickie Davis of the Chelseablog if you like.
I worked on a court covering crew for Wimbledon '82 not long after they'd moved away from wooden rackets. Yes it was that long ago.
I will save the stories for my memoir. Otherwise there'll be cock all to put in it and my agent's already accepted a six figure advance, which I've blown on coke, fast cars and hookers.
(I hope my mum and the Parish Priest don't read this...)
Tennis.....not one to get me moist shall we say. I used to love it as a kid, with Borg, McEnroe, Connors, Ashe , Nastase ....et al but nowadays see little in term of 'personality'. Rather like snooker, the minute the authorities went down Clean Cut Boulevard and Wholesome Image Avenue they rather lost the very things that got people interested, such as edge, intrigue, larger than life characters. I see football trying the same thing and it saddens me that the likes of Clough, Best etc are a dying (no pun intended) breed. In them thar far off halcyon days they even had some decent rallies in tennis.
Back to my nicely insulated hidey hole far from the madness of transfer talk.
Yay, some good news in the transfer market - Roman has saved £18m by letting Glen join Liverpool (and will probably save another £25m by the end of the week by letting Tevez join City).
Both good decisions in my opinion. Glen still can't defend, is still incredibly stupid and will probably piss off our new Italian leader by failing to adhere to his new tactics. I also have a feeling that Carlo may put Ivanovic in at RB next season, so even if Bosingwa goes to Bayern, we've still got Mancienne and letting Glen head up north should prove to be a wise move. And backing away from Tevez is also a wise bit of business. Silly season grew into crazy season on the weekend with journos linking us with Villa and Pato again but then some crazy report came out that we want Torres (yep, you try and find some evidence to back up that link which doesn't revolve around the NOTW saying Liverpool are skint, Roman is loaded, Ancelotti likes Torres and Villa, so if we can use one Spaniard to attract the other then it's a done deal). But £25m for a striker who doesn't score goals seems like a huge waste of money and it'll be fun to see how Mark Hughes fits Tevez, Robinho, Santa Cruz and Bellamy into the same frontline. After the World Cup in 2006, Tevez appeared to be one of the best strikers in the world. But Fergie has now turned him into nothing more than a cheerleader for the crowd who runs all over the pitch, all day long, but doesn't score goals. It may seem strange, saying it's a good move pasing on Tevez when we could easily have signed him, but when was the last time someone praised him for his goalscoring?
As for us, well we're still refusing to budge from the sofa, get off our arse and start doing some work in the transfer market. Perhaps Roman and Kenyon hope the Madrid bandwagon will slow and lose momentum, allowing us to buy someone for less than £40m? Either that, or we'll end up with no new arrivals and we'll hear more talk of breaking even in 2010.
Now it's time everyone who loves Chelsea has a quick at the peak at the funniest footie toy ever.
www.no1fan.co.uk
Reply to haberdashers:
I'm not so sure Habs. I think Tevez offers more than goals and would probably be an assisting striker and utility forward During AFCON. And If Carlo would like to try his tree of yuletide, then maybe he would like to have a runner in the side.
Tevez actually has fairly woeful scoring record; one game in three and half / four games on average for his club career (take out one purple season in South America and it's a whole lot worse) - what he offers is lots of running which is fine to an extent, but for the money you could buy half a dozen 'grafters' who also score more too.
If you break it down to goals against time on pitch (bit simplistic, but it tells a story), the unfairly maligned Kalou scores and makes more than Tevez but is crap and should be sold ((c) most Chelsea fans). Kuyt does pretty much what Tevez does but better and he'd be far cheaper; why not take a punt on Kevin Davies if you just want toil and a few goals?
The little Argentine chap is 'loved' by English fans because he charges around a lot - the old 'great engine' cliche much beloved of the pundits - he has an impact off the bench, is half-decent, not technically the best, but £25 million plus and Christ-knows-what per week for a player who is basically Alan Smith after a chip pan accident with Duracell batteries up his arse? Not my money, but fuck that.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Add into that the business that Tevez, the footballer, is basically owned by others. This exacerbates the problem of it always being in the interest of someone other than the player to always be looking for a new deal or move. He might be quite happy and settled but the consortium will want to move him on to ensure another percentage of the fee.
There's something wrong abut this aspect of the Tevez business and we should stay out of it.
croatian media is reporting chelsea's interest in darijo srna, croatian international currently playing in ukrainian sahtar - the UEFA Cup winners...
LINK
if it's true - i am one happy person, because srna is very skillfull, but more importantly passionate player - and he can play on the right side - upfront or in the back. i wish this is true....but same website talks about ibrahimovic coming to chelsea as well..:(
srna would be fantastic for us.
...and there you go:
eurosport ranks him 47th of the 50 best football players in the world.
LINK
The Red Top says we want Maicon from Inter. £25m for a right-back is absurd, especially when we (currently) have Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Ferreira and Mancienne who can play there.
We simply dont need defenders, other than maybe left-back cover. If we're going to buy, it has to be to cover those positions we'll be short of in the ACN (and up-front in the CL in Drogbas case).
The same paper also reports 'Pool are paying Johnson £100k a week. Now, I'm right up with those that agree that money is ruining football, but if true, this really could be the news that ruins it all. All that money for a capable, unspectacular and occassionally above-average performing English right back. Sheer and utter madness.
Oh, and Murray to bow out of Wimbledon today. You heard it here first.
Just heard on the radio that Royal Bank of cotland have agreed to re-financing for Hicks and Gillette.
Seeing as they are now majority owned by the taxpayer I find myself slipping into a Daily Mail moment:
Is this really the best use of taxpayer's money?
I have to say that when I read earlier in the week that Gillette was selling his interest in one of the oldest, most famous and successful red kit wearing professional sports teams on a continent. A team who had failed to win the big title for nearly 20 years, a team who represent a part of the country where they consider themselves to be a people apart and speak a language the rest of the country can't understand, my heart leaped.
Then I realised they were talking about the Montreal Canadiens
That's the Royal Bank of Scotland actually
Reply to BlueBayou:
Indeed - with the Premier League hovering to examine any potential deal for third party ownership, we should steer well clear; his 'owners' don't appear to be spotless and would no doubt be hawking him to the highest bidder again should he have a half decent season.
And I shall be writing to my MP about flagrant abuse of taxpayer's money this morning...
Actually, this time Tevez will be owned outright by the club so there will be no more problems with any third parties.
I still wouldn't buy him as I don't think he's worth 25.5 million and I don't think he'd fit into our system.
Good news that Florent Malouda has signed a two year extension to his current deal. Hopefully he keeps up the great form he showed under Hiddink.
I'm very glad we're not getting involved in any silly deals. Our best move is to bide our time, clubs will get desperate and we can pick off a couple of young, hungry squad players to improve our strength in depth. Our squad is very good, just a little tweaking is needed.
Also think we should start shipping out the players we don't want as soon as possible (Deco etc.)
Reply to biggs:
I reckon Srna could either solve our problems on the wing or make them that much worse. But, if he can fill the large, Dutchman-shaped hole on our wings, then maybe Didier can start scoring like he did 2 years ago. That is, of course, if Malouda can retain his form on the other side and if Joe finally makes the switch to midfield.
Reply to BlueBayou:
Leave RBS alone BB, being the champagne socialist that I am. I've bought a few thousand shares with RBS when they were at the low of 10p. So as much as I would love to see Liverpool go down the pan, I would rather see the eventual return of said monies, so my pockets will be eventually lined with some tranfer money of my own. :-)
Saw this whilst holding on the phone to cancel my Setanta subscription LINK
Based on the last 3 months I'm pleased.
Anyway... letting Glen Johnson go to Liverpool is actually a good thing.... We have Ivanovic and young Mancienne and Bosingwa(still)who can play as right backs, and I think all very well.
I would like Tevez to come hee is young and great player. Maybe according to the statistics his record is not that good , but he saved United ass in couple important games... He runs alot t,tries, scores often beautiful goals... Whenever iI watche and he came off the bench, United looked like completelly different team and on the end, on my regret, they would win or draw (against Wigan and Porto for example).
However letting Tevez go, isn't that bad, because one thing is for sure...he doesn't worth 25 million pounds.
The problem is African Cup Of Nations were we will lose Drogba,Kalou,Essien, John Obi Mikel ...
Reply to Clive:
From a fully collectivised desk purged of all liberal bourgeoise frippery, whereat sits Commissar Bayou
Come the revolution brother, come the revolution...
I can't make up my mind whether you slavering lackies and fellow travellers of the capatalist oppressors should be submitted to re-education programmes or summarily shot.
As your a Chelesa fan and fellow blogger I will of course allow you the honorable way out..(nothing larger than twenties and all used notes, non traceable..)
Reply to BlueBayou:
Are we storming the Winter Palace then? Splendid, but would you mind waiting until I've finished my lunch? Revolution on an empty stomach - tricky business...
... yes, and actually it's a bit hot today for scaling ramparts too - could we wait for a cooler day, not when it's raining of course, but....
Reply to blueboydave:
There's a good tagline in this:
"Revolution - when we can be arsed..."
@BB
I will be more than happy should my small investment pay off help you put a pond in your back garden, so you can claim for a duck house/island from your work expenses.
And for anyone thinking of storming my castle,I will add, that I don't use boiling oil to repel (far too expensive) I prefer to use natures finest from our bovine friends, it's free and plentiful around my parts.
I've had to put it back a few days anyway as I'm having trouble getting employers liability insurance to cover leading the proletariat into potentially dangerous revolutionary activity.
In the absence of any decent revolutionary guards (just look at you lot)I've had to contract out the shock troop side of things but that's all bogged down in contractual details.
The Long March has had to be cancelled because it clashed with an Ian Botham Charity walk and the Police won't let us use the same route.
The Setanta situation hasn't helped either. They had the live rights so now (yes you saw it coming)the revolution will not be televised.
There may be a highlights package on Top Up TV and some coverage on Radio 5.
I would suggest Twitter but I haven't a bleeding clue what that's all about.
Che and Fidel ddidn't know they were born...
Reply to Clive:
Clive, I'm having to leave work now to go and lie down.
The image of your "parts" covered in cow shit is more than any sane man should have to put up with
Reply to BlueBayou:
Trust me, cow shit is far more preferable to some of the bullshit we've had to endure from our media as of late. ;-)
well well, apparently it's rapped up and done for Sturridge boy
LINK
:sigh:
1 million for Sahar
10 million for Dan
Can't digest the idea
Sahar didn't really cut the mustard, unfortunately - his record on loan with lower league clubs says it all. Sturridge looks a decent player - but if it goes to a tribunal, it's highly unlikely that Citeh will get much more than we've offered.
Strangely I feel a little guilty that cancelling my direct debit caused them to go into administration LINK
Ah yes, Greg Rusedski. An anglophone French Canadian with a Slavic name who played for Britain. And the Montreal Canadiens, a French Canadian hockey team owned (for a little while longer at least) by an American and captained by a Finn. It all gives you an insight into why the whole identity politics business has gone quiet up in Québec in the last few years.
I always enjoy the first couple of days of Wimbledon -- the "plucky Brit" moment. The nation's attention is fixated on unathletic-looking middle-class people called Katie or Alex for the few minutes it takes them to pluckily take some unknown Slovenian into an unexpected final set, before visibly running out of puff and losing, at which point BBC2 switches to the next one. Splendid stuff.
I'm rather enjoying the transfer market silence. So far it looks like nothing obviously stupid is being done, which after the last couple of years is quite a relief.
Anyone watching the U21 tournament? Reports in the paper seem to imply that more or less every goal conceded by England is Mancienne's fault.
So it looks like Sturridge is our first signing of the summer. Yay, we've bought someone we can all rejoice. £10m seems a bit steep but with Roman's lawyers on the case, we can expect to get him around the £4-5m mark. And is it a good piece of business? Most certainly in my eyes. He's definitely got something special about him and looks to be a potential star of the future. A better prospect than our own lads, i.e. Stoch, Sinclair and Di Santo? I already think so. Basing it only on a youth cup run and some first team appearances may appear strange but Stoch seems to have had the same experience as Sturridge and in my opinion hasn't shown the same star quality. Sturridge was a star of that youth cup run alongisde Kakuta, whereas all the other youngsters appeared to have potential, but little more than that. Personally, i don't see Stoch, Sinclair or Di Santo making it at Chelsea and perhaps the only one who could is Kakuta as he provides something different. Sturridge is young, quick and English and looks to be a very Arnesen signing who is certainly a better bet compared to his previous purchase, one Khalid Boulahrouz.
In other news, Essien's agent has started asking for a new contract by claiming that he'll have to consider any offer from Barca or Real whilst Milan have also rejected our "mammoth" offer for Pato. With our penchant for a summer transfer saga, perhaps Pato will be our player of choice to target until the night the transfer window closes, only to see him stay at Milan?
Reply to haberdashers:
I'm ok with Sturridge, as long as we don't end up paying a ton for him. 10M is rather steep. Still, if that is all we pay for him and we keep him in the long run- and he plays well- then it is a good piece of business.
GOAL dot com is claiming that Seedorf, Gattuso and Pirlo are all not coming to Chelsea. This is somewhat of a relief to me.
Still, I think you can't fault Ancelotti in trying to buy players to 'win now'. Right now it looks like you either win now under Roman, or you are fired. Maybe if we finally win the Big Ears we can start really building a team for the future...
Other rumors- Essien would move to Barca or Real. That makes me sad. What would his valuation be? I would assume it would have to be over 30M. We don't want to sell him, and he's young, and he's excellent.
My thoughts on Maicon are that we'll sell Bosingwa to Bayern if we can secure Maicon. I think it is an upgrade.
I don't think we are overstaffed in the back- we currently have 7 players for 4 positions (I'm assuming Carvalho is already gone). Paulo is our LB cover, Mancienne and Ivanovic can play CB/RB. Considering injuries, the number of games we have to play, etc, I think we can't have any fewer players. Plus, both Branislav and Mancienne are young and will be the future of the back line.
Also, does anyone have any experience with getting Chelsea Plus internationally?
I want to be able to watch matches and reserve team matches online. Does Chelsea Plus do this? The website is a bit opaque, and I emailed them, but they did not email back.
I just got GOLtv and FSC for the coming season, but I don't think I'll be able to watch all matches that way.
Michael Essien's agent claims the midfielder could leave Chelsea this summer if the likes of "Real Madrid, Barcelona or some other club" make an offer.
LINK
If it is true it is bad!!!
I am intrigued to know what remuneration we have offered young Master Sturridge.
There was talk of him asking Citeh for £50K a week or some such. I assume this is paper talk or his agent's way of signalling that he wasn't staying.
I hope we are not offering that sort of money to such a young lad.
My opening gambit would be along the following lines:
A monthly postal order for 5 guineas.
A weekly free copy of the Beano or Dandy.
A quarter of lemon sherbet twice a month.
A monthly visit, supervised by Uncle Peter Kenyon, to look over the latest Hornby rolling stock at the local model shop, perhaps making the occasional judicious purchase.
Plenty to thrill the heart of any young man I believe.
Reply to BlueBayou:
Come now, the young lad is surely past such youthful pursuits; exchange the Beano / Dandy for a copy of Health & Efficiency and the sherbert for a packet of 10 Capstan and we might be in business...
Be_Champions: I subscribed to Chelsea Plus from the States a couple of years ago. I watched all the pre-season games live last year as well as all the reserve matches during the season. They show extensive highlights to every game and player/manager interviews.
All that for roughly $80/year. I say, its worth it.
The website is a little clunky, and I only could get it to work on Internet Explorer. But otherwise a great service!
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Make that a packet of Guards or No.6 (they're filter tipped and we have to consider they boy's need to stay in the peak of physical condition) and we've got the basis of a deal I believe.
I'd like to contribute to the boys health. As an ex-smoker of cigarettes (but partial to the occasional Cuban)and being bought up on a diet of various brands stolen (nay borrowed) individually from my Mum I have an alternative........Rather than go down the foolish route of supplying Menthol ciggies for which it is well documented are very good for the lungs, I think a balance needs to be struck between the nicotine hit, the strength factor and size. Bearing in mind that breaks between training sessions may be comparatively short, akin to the breaks I used to have usually within gobbing distance of a bike shed, my own research led to discarding Guards, Piccadilly, Embassy Envoy, No 6, Rothmans, B&H, JPS, Black Cat, Silk Cut and Kensitas, Woodbines and Embassy Regal in favour of the ideal 'fag break' smoke, which was small, powerful, compact, cheap and could be held alight inside a blazer pocket when a teacher approached, whilst a nonchalant scallywag whistle completed the full masquerade of schoolboy innocence.
I hereby propose the ciggie of choice should be
Embassy No 10.
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Very good. Important to establish a quality threshold ??
As long as we make sure Malouda doesn't get him onto those dodgy old Gitanes. Oh and stop Sheva slipping him whatever the Ukranian version of Black Sobrane are.
I see we have cigarette experts on the blog. Being a non smoker and never ever tried one, I was thinking of starting.
But I was just wondering, should I start on Nicotine patches first to build up my addiction, or go straight in to one of the many brands you've mentioned above?
Reply to Clive:
Proper men smoke Marlboro and none of that lite shite either. The proper red packet. Winston or Camel at a push. For those sophisticated evenings to impress the ladies, Kent(cause the filter's white).
If you have a sore throat or man flu then Menthol ciggies are the only way. If you can afford it St Moritz to keep the sophisticated Brian Ferry look you've worked so hard to establish with the Kent option above.
Mind you at my age a chap should have gravitated to a trusty briar and a pouch of quality shag.
(Of course it's very bad for you so best avoided. I only indulged for a few years in my youth)
LINK
I Suppose this is good news?
Reply to mike12:
Nice to see that we're collecting the best young English talent like Shelvey and Sturridge although keeping him at Charlton for two years may mean Carlo never gets to coach him.
So a promising start to the transfer market but where are the marquee signings? Also why haven't we shipped anyone out yet?
Clicked that link, and saw the photo. Yikes.
He looks like a non-speaking role in a Bond film. You know how Blofeld or whoever the arch-villain is never commits lurid acts of violence himself, but instead gestures lazily to some silent suited figure standing just beside him? "Deal with our unwanted guest, would you, Shelvey?" At which point you know the next ten minutes of the film will be some orgy of visual brutality.
On the plus side, if we get drawn against Real M. in the CL we can promote him to the first team and he can trap C. Ronaldo in a sawmill or drop him down a tube into a shark tank or something.
@LTB
With a name like Jonjo I suspect there's a touch of the Gael about him somewhere (Shelvey's an Irish name I think). So that'll be O'Blofeld then.
Off the hook
Looks like Frank A's tapping up problem has gone away
LINK
Off the peg
Look what Adidas do to you if you get relegated wearing their kit!
LINK
Off to bed
Here's your homework there'll be a test on this tomorrow
LINK
Reply to haberdashers:
As I have previously suggested Habs, the real marquee signings will be going to Madrid, Barca and Utd unfortunately, because they are deemed to be worthy of having the top talent.
We are no longer the only club offering vast fortunes and others are prepared to match our wages and the UK tax laws now mean that earning less money on the Continent, means more after tax pay for players.
As for shipping people out..... It was never going to happen. We pay over the odds wages for many of our fringe players, so why would they move on? We created a problem which unfortunately is very hard to undo, unless we are prepared to top up their wages for a period of time (ala Sheva and Pizarro)
Watched the US pull of a (well deserved) victory over Spain last night.
Was really impressed with the guy who scored their first, Jozy Altidore. Yeah, he's got a bit to learn but for 19, he looks like a bull - reminiscent of Drogs. He was playing for Villareal last season, but looks a decent prospect - certainyl gave Puyol and Pique a good going over.
@BB 125 - just seen what Adidas are offering as our away kit for next season on the official website - "a tonal hoop in dark navy and new navy with a neon yellow highlight for the adidas three stripes, tipping on the collar and sleeves, giving a structured and stylish finish" it burbles.
While not as awful as the Newcastle effort [or some of our past away strips] it does seem to me that like the all black away strip we were wearing it will create colour clashes and only be wearable in games when we could have stuck with our first choice colours anyway.
So bound to win a design award then?
That's what the as yet officially unshown white third kit with thin horizontal black pin stripes will be for!
I do like this one mind!
Reply to blueboydave:
To be honest it doesn't look too bad to me. I assume we have gone for hoops because away from home we're going to be doing more defending and by looking wider we discourage the opposition (although Chech won't look like an oversized satsuma).
But you're right about the colour. If we can't wear blue due to a colour clash then an even darker colour isn't going to be any use.
Mind you that means you need another away kit and that's more money om merchandising. For what true fan can be content unless you have all the up to date kits hanging in one's wardrobe (or closet if you prefer)?
I've just twigged why I had such an aversion to the new away kit - it's a dead ringer for my old school's rugby strip, a nasty, rough sport played only by vicious psychopaths at the time which I spent 2 years determinedly avoiding having anything to do with, until I could drop PE as a subject.
Why a state secondary school in the West of Scotland was playing rugby but not football is lost in the mists of time and my fading memories, but was something to do with nefarious practices by an unscrupulous PE teacher leading to a "sine die" ban for him and the school.
I could be reliving childhood traumas all next season now ....
And then there was light....
I've just realised why I've found things so quiet on the CFC 'let's buy everyone' front. Doesn't Ancelotti start his tenure on 1st July? And therefore, we are currently manager-less?
Maybe the press conference on Wednesday will introduce him, then just as it's wrapping up, Kenyon delivers the immortal line...
"Wait, there's more...."
And we get momentarily excited that maybe, just maybe, we've pulled of a 'superstar' coup or two.
But out walks Maldini / Beckham / Kaladze and we get that Scolari feeling all over again.
The new 3rd kit can be seen here
LINK
Reply to Agh57:
Thanks for that.
I see it's cleverly targetted at our ageing fan base or at least those like myself who will feel that the grey trim sets off those distinguished traces of silver, which fleck my flowing locks (sigh).
From the "They seem to have the right man for the job" section...
LINK
and naturally the fans of his former team are inconsolable
LINK
Laugh? I thought my trousers would never dry.
Reply to Fiftee:
I'm sure they'll rethink him for first team next season. I too feel he's reminiscent of the mighty Drogs.. Not quite as an assured finisher but only 19 and showing signs of getting there.
Being from the US and a fan of the Blues, somewhat of a respite from the heartbreak that was the CL semis.
I just watched Brazil play just like Scotland and now I can't get an erection. :-(
Reply to moffat:
The sound of women rejoicing is deafening.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Probably a lot of livestock as well.
No Pato, no Villa.
But rumours of Ross Turnbull and Jonjo Shelvey - looks to me like we're trying to get Platini's '6+5' quota sorted before anything else.
Over and out. Or as Jacko would have said : Shamone.
Reply to Fiftee:
I got my first Michael Jackson bad taste joke this morning at 08:06.
Is this a record?
Reply to ChelseaTony:
That's bad. That's bad. Really, really bad...
Owwwww, shamone etc.
CT,
That's beaten me by 5 minutes. But then out here in the sticks, they're sent by carrier pigeon....
There are some corkers doing the rounds. Probably not needing to be replicated on here, but they're making me laugh. A lot.
LINK
Ahhh, diddums.
Now how about you shut the f*ck up and do one.
Reply to Fiftee:
Not bad for someone so new to our culture to fully embrace the ethos of utter cuntery.
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Sweet!
Stone the bastard to death if he is ever seen close to Cobham again.
Reply to Fiftee:
Deco is bloody disgrace! Hardly played through the season, scored, if I am not mistaken, only one goal. Now he makes such statements, this is unbelievable!! Fucking unbelievebale, we have to sell him to some Uzbek team where he can continue to team up with this useless as he (Deco) is twat Scolari. Damn bastard!!!!
Reply to Blue_MikeL:
Deco scored three times, actually.
Reply to mike12:
Im one of those who thought he would be a good signing but now I cant wait for him to leave. He did well for a while but after that he just faded and became very frustrating. I dont think its that his performences that make us want him to go so badly but alot of us think we dont need him (we had this debate before he signed.
With Deco mouthing off that he wants to leave. I think thats why we cant wait for him to pack his bags. Ballack still hasnt got a new deal (I dont think) and you dont hear a word for him saying he will leave. Deco is acting so unproffessional its ridiculous.
Morning all.
Spectacularly uneventful weekend for me. Watched some decent games though - the U21's on Friday and the Confederations Cup final last night.
Have to say that I've been really impressed by Marcus Berg of Sweden in te games I've seen - 7 goals in total, including two tidy finishes against England. Definitely shows promise, and he missed a penalty as well. If ever there were a perfect Chelsea player....
Also have to give the US a mention for giving it a right go against Brazil (who I was pretty unimpressed by on the whole). Would liked to have seen Pato play more as, let's face it, we wont be watching him play for Chelsea any time soon. Another mention for Altidore who looks a bit handy.
Carlo officially starts work on Wednesday, though from what I read in the NOTW yesterday, he's been preparing for months and months which is a good sign. Lets just hope Roman doesnt get the cheque book out too late and all the players we need in the positions we need are already sold.
I only saw Brazil last night and against Italy [bizarre act of self-destructive defending]and wasn't hugely impressed either game.
I'm not one to peddle those old rumours about Italian clubs' dodgy practices but isn't Kaka looking a lot bulkier than he did a couple of years ago when Serie A was still on Channel 5?
I don't really think Pato is going anywhere either but the latest Galliani pronouncement seems eerily similar to what he was saying about Kaka not so long ago:
“We received a previous offer from another club which was higher than that and we said no. So you can see where we are coming from…” explained Galliani.
“Pato is our future and we are not willing to sell him at this stage. He will stay in Milan no matter what.”
..so who knows?
Reply to blueboydave:
Know what you mean about Kaka - looks a little chubby around the face these days; wait until he gets a bit homesick and lays into the tapas... :-)
Something ominous about Dunga's Brazil with an eye on South Africa next year; at best they seemed half interested in this competition but turned up trumps in the end, for all of the USA's graft and endeavour. The link to the Jonathan Wilson article in the Guardian about their 4-2-3-1 formation that Blue Bayou posted a while back on this thread is certainly worth looking at, especially if you've watched them over the last couple of weeks.
Have been very impressed by Ramires who seems to have escaped a few peoples notice. He's off to Benfica after the tournament.
Have to say I'm glad it's over though. The combination of Jonathan Pearce and Mark Bright had me wanting to boil my own head on numerous occasions.
Watched last night's final and Brazil ably demonstrated the difference between trying to look 'good' and then actually trying to win, in their first and second half displays.
Not sure what can be taken from that competition but next year's WC might be more open than usual.
Seems like I've been away for ages yet nothing seems to have changed: no big comings or goings and kinda no manager yet, no indoor tennis and Murray's still trampling on the lower seedlings.
Only question is what happens after Wednesday when Carlo takes charge.
btw. Adebayor still looks far and away the best buy at the mo.
What is going on at the official website?
I was beginning to think they had all gone off on their hols while they churn out the obviously pre-prepared never-ending daily parts of "Story of a Season" currently at part 14 and still only at mid-April, when they actually reported Malouda's contract extension agreement last week, if a couple of days after Malouda had confirmed it.
Now suddenly they confirm they have "today" lodged an appeal against UEFA's Barca game punishments, which I thought UEFA confirmed they had received about a week ago.
Is there a time warp at Stamford Brige/Cobham or something?
Reply to blueboydave:
They're all probably down the pub on a bit of R&R before the new boss arrives.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
The 4-2-3-1 article was rather good. I thought Gabe Marcotti also had a similar article- I could be mistaken. I'm somewhat surprised that the USA doesn't play in the same sort of formation. If you have a supremely talented defense or wingers that are willing to work very hard you have the ability to defend and to get forward in numbers.
I was doing a bit of thinking, and I can't understand why there are no rumors out there on this topic. Why don't we, or anyone else, buy Van der Vaart? Unless he has a reputation as being a right bastard, or Robben hated playing for us so much that VdV and Sneijder aren't interested in coming, he seems like the right fit.
Why? Because VdV and Pirlo are similar players. If Carlo wants a deep lying playmaker, then you could do worse than VdV. He isn't really young, but he isn't Pirlo old. We could get him cut rate from Real as well!
I just don't quite understand why there isn't much press about the Dutch trio. They'd be a major upgrade at almost any club they went to, and for a cheap price.
Well the U21's certainly did things in style last night.
Thought they'd looked good earlier in the tournament, but everything seemed to go wrong last night. Pearce picked Cattermole, Noble and Muamba in the middle, all of whom are defensive - there was no creative link down the middle. Was impressed by Milner on the right, looked dangerous most of the time he was running with the ball.
Walcott was abysmal. Unable to control the ball, beat the opposition - do anything really.
It's a learning experience for them, and some of them will, bizarrely, probably benefit from it.
Reply to Fiftee:
From the desk of Dr Bayou - FA Advisor on Sports Psychology
I interpret the result as an indication that mentally and emotionally our young lads are not ready to face the Germans in a penalty shoot-out.
Pearce set up defensively to create the conditions for a stalemate and resulting shoot-out. Our boys took one look at that and, understandably given their callow sensibilities, bailed out in no uncertain terms.
A little more adventure in future please Mr Pearce.
(I of course did not see the game as I was watching Mr Murray - purely in a professional capacity as he has paid me a large retainer for my services)
Funny old month, this.
As one winker heads off to Spain so up pops Wawrinka from Switzerland who nearly zaps the Murray man under lights and a roof!
The badgers are now valued at less than a decent midfielder (£60m with Shearer thrown in).
Never mind, tomorrow should give us a bit of interest when Carlo takes charge and does a few interviews and stuff.
It'll be the closest thing to a bit of action that we've seen for a while.
Reply to fansincethesixties:
Very true - we can assume that some hack will ask him if he's a 'special one' or some other cliched nonsense.
Re the badgers; looks like Freddie Shepherd is back in from them if the media are to be believed - I know it's all quite funny, but I am starting to believe that they've really suffered enough now.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Yes, I'm sure that his time in Italy has taught him how to handle the press.
But it's always difficult in a foreign language, although there's lots of scope for the old 'That's not quite what I meant' defence.
It's certainly likely to be the highlight of this week.
Of course, the return of Freddy might also be of interest to those who thought the Nightmare at St.James' was over...
Fortunately as Chelsea fans we have no history and therefore no idea what it is like to support a club that seemed always on the brink of greatness but was somehow mismanaged to the point of extinction.
As we sit back on our pile of cash, sipping our Pimms, admiring all the trophies we have bought recently, it gives one momentary pause for thought.
It must be terrible to be poor....and from the North as well
Anyone for tennis?
It looks like Robbie may be coming up in the world. Good to see him doing well. I hope it works out for him. Nice to think we could be playing him in a years time. ('cause they get promoted..... obviously)
LINK
Reports suggest that Ancelotti will be arriving on Friday to start work, and that we have signed Sturridge, Zhirkov and Turnbull, which, if true isn't a bad start.
I am a little bemused by the suggestion that the Chelsea directors and some back room staff have been learning Italian......Surely it's a damn sight easier for Ancelotti to learn English properly! And also concerned by the fact that it seems he has only spoken to Ray Wilkins twice so far....I would have thought they might have done a bit more planning than 2 quick phone calls.
From the Fiftee desk of way, way out left complete and utter randomness.
There's something that excites me more about signing Turnbull than the others at the moment. I can't really put my finger on what it is, but Petr has needed a kick up the jacksie for a season or so now and Hilario was woefully unable to comply. Turnbull is young, and English and should give him a real challenge.
And could then stand himself in good stead for a crack at the National side as well.
Zhirkov will be a handy acquisition, Sturridge one for the future but there's definite work still to be done. I guess with the wondow only opening 'properly' today we'll see more movement - I agree with Be_Champions in that we need to get on the case with VDV or Sneijder for January midfield cover during the ACN.
And lastly - Valencia for £16m. And to replace Ronaldo? Not so much a different class as a different game altogether. With them and 'Pool (Glen Johnson) spunking those sort of figures on fair-to-middlin' average-at-best types we are in an ideal position to capitalise. Unless Man U pull off the signing of Benzema who IS class.
Reply to BlueBayou:
Class player.
Won a few bob on him scoring the first goal at Wembley. At 16/1 it was a no-brainer and the quickest return I ever had!
He also gives the impression that he could be a really top notch manager - maybe even back at the Bridge.
When they have the 39th game it wont be a surprise when City v Portsmouth is played in a the Gulf somewhere will it?
LINK
Reply to Greenlight:
Carlo has met up with Ray in person, and there's a bit about it here:
LINK
It talks about him 'getting started when his players arrive next week'.
Guess they mean the present ones or maybe he's waiting for the transfers to show up, which probably gives him an extra couple of weeks holiday!
As we've made a very encouraging start by signing Zhirkov, Turnbull and Sturridge for a combined £21-25m, it's time to look around at our rivals as we wait for the Pato saga to run its course. Liverpool have decided that splashing your whole budget on a RB who can't defend whilst selling one or both of Mascherano and Alonso is the ideal formula to win the title. Utd and Fergie have well and truly lost it by signing a worse version of Kalou (yep, he is, only scored 7 goals for Wigan in his whole career there i think)for £18m and then banking on signing Benzema to replace Tevez and Ronaldo. "But Fergie's always right" we're constantly being told, but in my mind his team looks poor at present. And then there's Real. Jealous Utd fans are calling Perez's project crazy and tat it's doomed to failure but how about this for a first team:
Casillas
Ramos Pepe Albiol Marcelo
Diarra Alonso
Ronaldo Raul Kaka
Benzema
Seems alright to me and with Robben, Sneijder and others in reserve, i think we'll be meeting them in the final in Madrid come May. They're still not as good as last season's Barca but compared to Utd:
Van der Sar
O'Shea Rio Vidic Evra
Valencia Carrick Fletcher Tosic
Rooney Berbatov
As we're slowly building in the background, with all the headlines revolving around Madrid and Utd, Kenyon must be pleased with progress so far.
A BP Express is under construction...if for no other reason than to change the front page!
Reply to ChelseaTony:
We could've expected the arrival of our new boss to present you with plenty of material but looks like our PR team have decided on a very low key start (which may be a very good thing).
Quite pleased with the way we've conducted ourselves this summer; minimum fuss, few signings with the possible 'big name' still to come (not holding breath) and despite the usual "Chelsea snubbed by *******" gibberish in the press I suspect that we will land most of the players that we are genuinely after (big difference between that and the tentative "Is X available because we'd bid X million if so?" type enquiries).
@ Habs
Madrid team looks interesting but the fact that it has been born primarily out of swivel-eyed rage at Barca's success last season is a big issue for Pellegrino. One thing stands out a mile - is there anyone in that front 4 that can muster a half decent attempt to win the ball back once they lose it? Benzema at a push, I'd say.
Diarra and whoever are sure going to be busy, as are their full backs; interesting fact from an article I read (this month's 4-4-2); bar Alves who seems very fond of booting people, the Barcelona front line commit as many fouls as the rest of the back three - as we know, their workrate without the ball is quite something. Real will be spectacular, no question; don't know a huge amount about their centre halves, but I suspect that they could do with a Carvalho type who can actually play the ball forwards effectively as well as win it. They will concede and I suspect they will concede far too many unless the point is addressed some time soon.
Not sure about United; they probably could have done with Benzema. Valencia is an odd one - he will improve there and is far more likely to provide decent ammunition for Rooney and Berbatov that he is to score goals, but the price tag is fairly barking to say the least.
Fergie isn't always right, but he is rarely wrong - he seems to rate Welbeck very highly and along with Macheda will probably feature more this season. For the first time in a while, I fear Liverpool with a fit Torres and Gerrard more than United, but the wily old Scot is still the man to beat.
According to the official website Ancelotti will be unveiled to press around 9.30 am on Monday, shown live on the website - so, Tony you might want to get one more batch of rumour and wild speculation in before we have something more concrete to discuss ;-)
Depending on which of the tabs you read Carlo has "delayed" his arrival till the weekend to try and snare Pato or Pirlo to come with him.
Interesting to note that "Roman Abramovich's senior transfer emissary, Serbian agent Vlado Lemic" is allegedly dealing with negotiations with Milan, according to The Mirror while the Daily Mail reveals that Kenyon is back in London dealing with a new contract for Mancienne - perhaps we learned something from the Robinho debacle after all?
"Oh Roooooooooooooby Don't Take Yer Lurv To Town"
(1969 Kenny Rogers and The First Edition)
From The Guardian Rumour Mill
"There's nothing strange about seeking a man of Ribéry's talents, but allowing Ricardo Carvalho to leave does create the impression that Chelsea's heads are in the clouds. Diplomatic Arsène Wenger will try to avoid making that point as he picks up the Portuguese centre-back for a smart £8m."
LINK
I just hope its been hewn from the same shitmine as the rest of the summer's nonsense
"....perhaps we learned something from the Robinho debacle after all?"
I dont know BBD. From what I saw over the past fortnight, Mancienne was nothing short of dire for the U21's.
Yes he's young, and yes he needs to learn but some of the stuff he did was just schoolboy stuff. The way he got caught flat-footed for literally every goal we conceded and the way he got left in the Finland game then gave away the pen and getting a red card concern me.
Disappointed at the rumours about Riccy and Decos move to Inter falling through - Riccy is undoubtedly worth a few quid but Deco isn't worth a 20p piece with a date stamped on it, let alone an un-dated one (see what I've done there - very 'current affairs' of me). If they want to go, let them. What's the point in keeping Deco against his will, he's dump.
Can't see anything materialising on the 'superstar' signing stakes. Milan would be certified bonkers to sell Pato in the same summer as Kaka. And replacing either of them with Adebayor only confirms the bonkers-ness.
Benzema would have been an asset but we were never really linked with him. Maybe one or two of the 'unwanteds' at Real would strengthen our squad. Normally you'd say if they're not good enough for Real, why are they good enough for us, but the attitude they are showing against the Dutch contingent (can it be called Dutch-ism?) is simply bizarre.
Reply to BlueBayou:
If Carvalho to Arsenal is true, then I think the entire board should be sacked.......Sure.sell him to Inter, but Arsenal can sod off.....Selling them Gallas was bad enough,but Ricci too....No thanks!
Reply to Fiftee:
I think Robben, Sneider or Huntelaar would all be reasonable additions to our squad at the moment....Get on the phone and pick up a bargain or two.
Actually my point about the Robinho debacle was the idea of keeping Kenyon in London well away from any serious negotiating going on with other clubs....
Reply to BlueBayou:
Surely not even we could be that crazy!
A fit Riccy could turn Arse into a proper football team and even make it a four horse race at the top.
Let's just hope that story is rubbish.
Of course, if it was part of a swap deal then...I know that nobody likes Adebayor (including the Arse supporters), but he really could be the bargain buy of this summer.
Reply to blueboydave:
BBD,
I got the point, just that PK si undoubtedly happy to do whatever to make himself look good, and from what I saw Mancienne is decent up to a point.
Not that there's any serious negotiations that PK could muck up - can't see any big names arriving.
Anyone else pissing themselves at Fergie's transfer dealings this summer?
Just read tomorrow's headlines which basically conclude that swapping Ronaldo and Tevez for Valencia and Owen is either a gamble or complete idiocy.
If Kenyon and Roman can quietly continue adding in the background to the likes of Turnbull, Zhirkov and Sturridge with one big buy then we've got an absolutely great chance to win dare i say it, everything?
Habs,
Yes on Valencia; no on Owen. A few of us mentioned him before, I reckon he'd be a really shrewd capture. He can't command much in wages which would be good, but he's a natural finisher. I think we should have made enquiries (if we didn't) - he's the sort of poacher who's guaranteed to score you double figures with anything approaching decent service, that being the reason he didn't do much when fit at the Barcodes.
In much the same way as Larsson and, to a lesser degree, Sheringham, Fergie could have pulled one out of the bag there. And he helps with the '6+5' quota (though I guess that is the sole reason we signed Turnbull - just for a bit of weight on the homegrown player side).
From the desk of The Dreamcatcher
I had one of those dreams last night where fragments stay with you long after you wake up. There is always a clarity and a vaguely unsettling quality to the scattered scenes and images, yet when you try to recall the totality and put them together they make no sense, but at the time definitely had an internal logic of their own.
As I remember it, I was at a showing of a film, a documentary I think. At one point there is a segment of film showing the hands of a man playing the piano beautifully. For some reason there is a technical problem and the presentation skips on to the next part of the film.
At the end there is a discussion or someone makes a speech and they make a point of picking out the pianist who is sitting in the audience. It is Frank Lebeouf. Not only has he transformed from a top class footballer into an accomplished pianist but he also had a shock of brown wavy hair.
Shortly after we all get up and leave the auditorium. I see him with his wife walking away through the crowds.
I am currently seeking professional help.
Lebouef did have hair when we first signed him as I recall, it was only half-a-dozen games in that he want for the full Bryner.
Am loving Real's audacious vulgarity. Give me that over Barca's 'we are better than everybody else because we do things the right way' moral superiority hypocritical bollocks any day.
United are all over the shop.
You just have to love Citeh's audacity LINK
Not quite in Real's league, but still they aspire to great things.
From the legal desk of Blue Bayou QC
Very much the biter bit one might say. He was always one to throw libel writs around.
LINK
Reading some of the follow up comments one is reminded of the murk that always surrounded Ken's business dealings. Interesting to see the story that dragged RA into this didn't have any legs.
Good old Ken - insert your leopard / spots analogy here...
St. James's Park is a graveyard in terms of medical support for their players. I'd take a reasonably fit Michael Owen on a freebie over the massively overhyped / overpriced Tevez any day. If it doesn't work out, it's cost United virtually bugger all and Fergie has someone on the bench he can talk horses with during those dull trips to Wigan, Bolton etc.
City are in the gutter, but they are staring at the stars which is nice for them...
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
Spot on JK I thought exactly the same thing when I read the story. It's more about a shared interest in matters of the Turf than football.
Ah, the Old Curmudgeons must feel the world has turned against them.
Old PurpleNose finds he can't spend his millions from the Winker because everyone and his dog now wants to go to Madrid and Dear Old Ken has one rant too many in print and ends up on the wrong end of a libel judgement.
Funnily I was thinking of Ken earlier in the week recalling those long missives, putting the world to rights, he used to send out with each year's season tickets when this year's arrived in the mail with a postcard size bland message from someone called "Ron Gourlay" who apparently is our "Chief Operating Officer" - whatever that means?
Some of our young fans may not remember the brutal manner in which Ancelotti chased Zola away from Parma. There wont be any room for ballplayers in his XI. Just like there's no room for the likes of Rivaldo, Ronaldinho, Goercuff, Serginho. I fear for Joey.
Haven't you spent the last three years wanking on about how Lampard is no Kaka? Who was Kaka's manager again? Do you even try to be consistent?
Moffat,
Hear, hear. Great point.
I mean, not as if AC had Kaka and Pirlo pulling the strings during Ancelottis reign was it. Oh, hang on.....
Seriously though, what is the actual point in you bothering. If you dont like Chelsea, fuck off. If you do, get with the now and offer something mildly sensible.
This message was brought to you courtesy of the numerous 'Norwich based insurance company that sounds like a bus company' employees who are being made redundant and whos last day is today and have supplied me with pints of lager.
To suggest that AC Milan have had no 'ball players' under Ancelotti is one of the most astonishingly ignorant things I've ever heard on here. Quite ridiculous.
Reply to Fiftee:
You would have thought someone would have piped up when the name was pitched "Isn't that a bit like Arriva, the bus company" but then the sort of persons who dreamed up the "concept" have never been on a bus....(far too smelly and full of poor people)
Was shown the door recently myself only to be pulled back in the day before leaving when a large contract landed. Oh my the power of prayer ;-)
Must go now got a bus to catch
Have a good weekend all
Can't wait for pre-season to start as we've had far too long without a bit of Chelsea action and with two young English signings confirmed as well as Zhirkov arrivng this weekend, things are looking up. As i suspected, the Pato story will run and run, but with a little bit of house keeping within the squad we're looking strong. And with Murray failing gloriously, the next few days should be good.
But on to the big story of the day; Utd's new world-class signing. I do sort of like Mickey Owen but it's time that people started looking at this deal rationally. He's a crock who probably won't play more than 30 games this season and anyone who says Fergie has made a good move by shipping out Ronaldo and Tevez and bringing in Valencia and Owen is an idiot. Utd fans are trying to paper over the yawning chasm of a problem by saying that he's a poacher and proven goal scorer who'll score a load of goals in this amazing Utd side. Except that who's going to supply these chances? Utd's goalscoring and assist record last year with Ronaldo and Tevez was way down on previous seasons and expecting Valencia, Tosic or Nani to supply the crosses or Fletcher to play the killer through balls is risky or laughable. And with Owen losing all his pace, he now plays deep, as does Rooney, as does Berbatov so who is going to play centre forward for Utd? And talk of Owen being a proven goalscorer also annoys me. He has been but not anymore. Stats show Sheva to be a proven goalscorer but why isn't Fergie ringing up Carlo to sign our ageing crock? Owen is not the answer and if Roman sees this Utd side as being one of the poorest since Jose left and is willing to just get one world class attacker in, Carlo will surely have the best chance since Jose left to bring the league title back to the Bridge.
But good luck to Mickey. He's now got a pretty short commute to his horses and a lovely bench to warm.
Very bullish Habs, but you're not looking at this rationally; no-one is saying that it is a 'good move' to ship out Ronaldo and Tevez and bring in Valencia and Owen, far from it. You don't replace players like Ronaldo, Ferguson knows that much - but an awful lot of allowances were made to make him the focal point of the team; Rooney, for example, spent a lot of time grafting that the likes of Park can handle.
Granted, United look weaker than they have at any time in the last 3-4 seasons but I suspect there is a trick or two left up Ferguson's sleeve. And let's not forget; United have £80m quid and the best part of 2 months before the window closes.
Re Owen - 10 goals with a team as bloody awful as Newcastle were last season with his injury problems looks 'proven' enough for me. Incidentally, Tevez scored 15 in far more appearances for a team poles apart from Newcastle - one is valued at £30m, another costs bugger all, albeit with a risk attached. Losing Tevez isn't the big deal people are making it out to be; with Owen away from Newcastle's shocking medical staff (look at their injury record in recent years - it is woeful and it isn't all down to crocked players), 30 games or so from someone who can stick a chance away is no bad deal. He could have gone to Everton or Villa for three times the salary but chose not to; shows there is still a spark there, if you ask me.
Reply to KaiserJonny_II:
You're probably right looking back on it and i was a bit too harsh on the lad, but i was just a little annoyed at how any move Fergie makes is considered to be an inspired and brilliantly calculated plan whereas anyone else in the same shoes would be crucified. A few weeks ago Utd fans must have considered Owen a laughing stock as he had to decide between offers from Hull and Stoke but as soon as Fergie signs him, well he's suddenly "world-class". Can you imagine the reaction if Ancelotti had signed Owen after missing out on David Villa? But Owen does try hard and can score a couple of tap-ins so good luck to him, but surely the praise being lavished on Fergie on SSN is a little over the top?
Delightful signing by ManU.......the Lars Ricken of English football gets once again sold as world-class when in fact he is bloody awful. ^^
Reply to haberdashers:
To be fair, neither Fergie or Owen can do much about the Sky hype / media narrative set in stone around them both long ago; Owen was a world class goalscorer before he went to Newcastle and Ferguson has pulled off a few masterstrokes in his time - combine the two and you're always going to get hyperbole in the extreme. The fact that the former hasn't lived up to his billing for some time and that Fergie has signed a few duds doesn't register really (see his capture of Henrik Larsson - decent signing, scored and made a few but hardly set the world alight).
True that Ancelotti taking him on would be viewed with a raised eyebrow and some muffled chuckling behind hands from the hacks - ultimately taking the middle ground between the two and saying exactly what it is - a bit of a punt by a clever manager on a player who might come up trumps again but might not - doesn't really inspire the punters to keep watching SSN.
How about this for an awful piece of journalism:
LINK
Basically the jist of it is in the headline:
Manchester City refuse to concede defeat in pursuit of Chelsea's John Terry. Players in City dressing room on good terms with defender but Chelsea reluctance to negotiate among obstacles to move.
Fair enough. If City want to waste their time bidding for John then so be it but the way the journo tries to find a way of saying that John perhaps, might be, thinking about, considering...however you put it, a move to City is embarrassing.
"Manchester City are to persist in their attempts to sign John Terry amid a growing sense within the club that the Chelsea captain is seriously considering his future and could be tempted by a salary that would almost double his current pay. Mark Hughes, the City manager, has been encouraged by messages from associates of the player, the most prominent being one of Terry's international team-mates. There are several players inside the City dressing room who are on good terms with Terry, and Hughes has spent months putting together enough background information to be confident that a deal most Chelsea fans would like to believe was fantasy is, indeed, a possibility.
Garry Cook, making a verbal bid of around £30m following it up with a faxed offer stating they would also pull out of the tribunal to set the fee for Daniel Sturridge, the teenage striker who has just moved in the other direction. Chelsea's reluctance to enter into negotiations is genuine and City are acutely aware there are obstacles to overcome given Terry's strong affinity to the London club and the way he has portrayed himself as "Mr Chelsea", openly declaring that he would never leave Stamford Bridge.
There is, however, also a sense that Chelsea's decision to publicise the Terry bid, when they could feasibly have kept it quiet, is the opening move of a PR...
...operation to make it public knowledge that they are opposed to losing the player."
So we'll never sell him, JT loves the club, has said he never wants to leave and is Mr Chelsea. But he knows Wayne Bridge and is "considering his future" over a double you salary offer. To top it all off we'll be willing to sell him to save an extra £5m on the Sturridge deal and that Keyon's strong rejection of the deal is the start of a PR campaign to set up the deal.
An utterly pathetic story.
Interesting that we've made a public denial though; very doubtful we'd sell but I suspect a lot depends on how far City want to push on with this - if they get into the realms of £50-60m and wages that we can't match, who knows what will happen?
John will never leave but in other news Ashley's agent seems to have got back to work by leaking a story of reported interest in Cole from Real (who else?) in order to get a better contract offer. £120k per week just isn't enough with our 50% tax rate.
Micky Owen to Manure - fantastic and shrewd move by the old boy. I'd have like to see him playing for us as I reckon he's still got a lot to offer and given the right medical attention I reckon he'll be back in England colours before the next world cup.
Oh and the BP Express is delayed due to industrial action within my brain. Damn Numbskulls.
Reply to ChelseaTony:
At The Cobham Medical Center he would have been injured in a week. What is up with our bad luck with injuries?
LINK
You're a Jerk-off is almost ours. With any luck he won't take too long to settle in.
Looking forward to tomorrow's press conference, hich issure to be dominatd by 3 subjects:
1. Caro's english.
2. Potential new signings
3. John Terry
Despite me seeing the JT story as complete rubbish, rumours of him being tapped up and having his head turned by £200k/wk are a little worrying.
So excited, my spelling went crazy.
Surely £45 squillion would be worth it?
I don't know how much longer his back is going to hold out. Maybe this is why Ricky hasn't gone to Inter yet?
Whilst I point blank refuse to believe he'd join Citeh (particularly in a World Cup season with no Champs League, no Europa League, no hope of anything really) what concerns me is that Real will realise they need defenders and with their bottomless pit of cash, they could easily match the £40m, offer a similarly decent wage and then have a real chance of signing him.
But can anyone REALLY see Mr Chelsea leave? I mean, he's likely to take a hammering if that's the case. I can't believe anyone at the club can even entertain the idea of selling him.
We'd need centre back reinforcements. Riccy wants to go, if JT goes we're left with Alex and Branko - decent yes, but not quite JT or Riccy in their pomp.
You're Jerkoff is confirmed : LINK
Hurrah! We've signed someone.
Morning all
Agree with Fiftee on the issue of a World Cup season when Capello will expect his best players to be playing against the best.
I suspect that JT himself has something of a burning desire to be in Madrid next May too before South Africa - whilst he's not in the twilight of his career, at almost 29 with a recurring back problem, he must realise that he doesn't have limitless chances to win the CL and for all City's grand ambitions, there is no guarantee they will crack the top 4 any time soon.
On the other side of the coin, if this summer has taught us anything, it is that everyone has their price. City are desperate to make an impact and capture one of world football's big names. It's fairly well documented that the very top players (galacticos or whatever) aren't too interested in City (or English football per se), so they will aim at the next level down which puts the likes to Terry firmly in their sights. I doubt the club want to sell, but the higher the offer gets the more tempting it becomes - 3 or 4 years ago you'd have heard the laughter from SW6 had such an offer been made, but personally whilst I don't believe he will move it is far less implausible than it might have been at one time.
Ultimately, it is down to JT now and we obviously hope he will do the right thing.
LINK
Carlo's had his say. And his say is "JT is still captain and he's not for sale".
Read into it what you like....
Can't believe there is any chance we'll sell JT for the principle as much as anything else - City want him for the coup of signing one of the biggest names from the previously richest club in Europe, not because of who he is.
But could get locked into a war over his wages - Terry could use this to push for a raise.
If he does, more fool him: flog him.
As Ancelotti says, Terry will be captain of Chelsea forever. I think there is no chance for him to go to Manchester City…even if we accept the bid (and that would be crazy),like Fiftee said, he won’t be going there- no Champions League, Europa League or anything… In Chelsea, it’s the club he loves, the club he played for whole his life, the club that can win Premier League and Champions League next season… I mean, seriously.
Zhirkov, Turnbull and Sturridge are all good signings, in my opinion. Much better than 60 year old…sorry, 30 year old Pirlo, or somebody like that.
Only thing that concerns me…Sturridge is young and English…that’s a good thing, he is a good player, but I am afraid that he finishes like Franco Di Santo. Plays a bit in the beginning, shows potential and then…nothing happens. We have to use our young players, I said that million times, I know I am boring- Di Santo, Sturridge, Stoch. Etc… Its good that Hiddink used Mancienne because he is really good, he will be even better in future.
I am looking forward to the next season, no matter that I am sceptical about Ancelotti…but at least, it looks better than the beginning of the previous season= Scolari who never coached in Europe, Deco who is 30 something and not good enough for Barcelona but ''good enough for us'' and Robinho saga that ended…horribly.
Manchester United will be without Ronaldo and will want to prove themselves so badly…Liverpool…well you know Liverpool, they were dangerous last season,but not dangerous enoguh and Arsenal who are going to win some big games, but lose a big game against us, and against relegation candidates. I think, we are the favourites in the season coming.
We have all what we need- backup for Cech, young talent and creative force (Zhirkov). Some big name striker …maybe that’s what we need, but I think the club isn’t buying anyone else but these three…And Anelka is good, Drogba is good when he wants to…
KTBFFH
Reply to PeteW:
I don't know - in as far as he is responsible for choosing who he signs, I think Sparky knows that this little experiment with all the inherent pitfalls that might arise with the cash that is being thrown around and some of the egos it will attract, it needs excellent leadership more than almost anything else; JT would provide that better than anyone else in the game today.
Perhaps, but it's definitely a statement of intent as much as anything else.
I mean, it's not like Terry has kept a lid on all the egos at Chelsea over the past few years, his own included.
Anybody who is on Twitter might be interested to know that an employee of the Sun sees fit to refer to us as Chavski. Ah, our glorious press.
Utter cuntery, as I believe the popular expression goes.
Sorry, forgot the link.
LINK
Back from a fortnight sunning myself in Cornwall. Utter bliss. It's a bit depressing being back at the coal face.
Nothing really exciting happened while I was away then. I see we've signed the three players everyone knew we were going to sign. Seems we've adopted a sensible approach to player acquisition this summer, unlike a certain Spanish club.
A. Cole after more money, Man City after J. Terry... nothing changes.
Only 12 days to go before pre-season starts. Thank f...
Whilst Mr Murdoch will continue to receive funds from me on a monthly basis for his sports channels because, lets face it, Real v Barca should be A-MAZ-ING to watch, I cant help but read Ronaldos latest comments about La Liga being the strongest league in the World 'because of the players who have joined' (there's blowing your own trumpet) and think to myself :
I really can't wait for it to go spectacularly wrong at the Bernabeu. The implosion is guaranteed to happen, it's just a matter of when. Someones going to get all hissy about being dropped and then it's all going to kick off.
As I said, can't wait.
La Liga - the SPL with money. And tapas.
General consensus on the various comment sections I've seen today (it's been a slow burner for me) seem to indicate fans of all teams rate Zhirkov highly. Can't say I've seen too much of him myself, but fans of 'Pool / Man U /Arse and the rest all seem to agree he's a very good capture.
+1 for us then.
Now for the extra striker (Villa / Dzeko / Aguero) and creative midfielder (VDV / Sneijder) and we're ready to go.
Reply to Fiftee:
Therein lies the rub-
Real have 35 players on the books as of now, and they can only register 25 for the league. They have to flog 10 players, and soon.
I read a Robben/Sneijder plus cash deal for Ribery the other day. I think such things will become common. Addition by subtraction.
For them, what is worse is that they will have quite a few players who will realize that the window is closing, and they won't get a spot on the team. Real will lose quite a bit of money on them in panic sales. No point paying the wages of a 1/2 galactico when you can't even play him on the field. Get your few million Euro and get on with it.
The $64,000 question is: With all the new signings, and the talent, and the egos, does Raul still play for the team? Do they sell him outright this summer? Does he sit the bench most of the season? Do they fit him into the crazy 1-1-4-4 formation they seem to be buying?
I'm pretty happy about You're a Jerkoff as well. I'm hoping he's a good buy, and I'm really hoping that he is able to make something of an immediate impact.
I only worry that his arrival will make Florent go all sulky and stop playing well again.
I hope Sturridge does quite well and breaks into the full team in a year or so. Drogs and Anelka can't last too much longer.
Bravo! Magnifico!
Don't want to get Fiftee too excited but there appears to be a rumour doing the roundsthat we are going to bid for Sneijder.
Remember you heard it hear 431st
Bit concerned about Riccy's comment regarding the handling of his injury and his unhappiness with the way it was treated.
Now players say all sorts of things for all kinds of reasons but coming on the back of Ballack's ankle business (2 seasons back) and what has been quite a poor run of injuries to key players I wonder if there have been changes in methods or personnel in the last couple of years or are the backroom being forced to push players back early.
It would be interesting to know what the basis for his complaint is, bearing in mind that until recently he hasn't been one to rock the boat.
Can anyone remember what happened with Essien? He already had a tear in his knee before he left for international duty. Did Chelsea want him to stay and he went and played? Can't remember.
I know we had a bit of a debate a while back as to what might be at the root of all the injuries given that it seemed more than the usual "buggins turn" effect.
Reply to BlueBayou:
I thought that the injury thing was just over-paid Southern Softies.
Hopefully one of Carlo's early contributions will be to look into this. Given the way he kept Milan's oldies fit and performing, he must know something.
To be fair, there was a massive improvement with injuries in the second half of the season - i think that's partly because the players were a lot fitter and happier, so less likely to get injured.
I did wonder whether all the injuries had something to do with the new pitches at Cobham, but apparently that is not scientific. It's said that the newcastle injury curse is due to their very hard training pitches.
Reply to PeteW:
Scolari was concerned with the level of injuries when he arrived and mentioned that when talking about training intensity. Could it be that having gone easy for 5 or 6 months they were able to take the increased workload under Guus.
Mmmmm it's a curious one. I'm not casting aspersions on the intensity levels that JM had in training and we had a good run with injuries for a few seasons.
The type of surface where you train would make a difference. I believe the some types of all- weather pitches contributed to a lot of knee and shin problems in hockey players (may still do) as they moved to them from grass some 20 odd years ago. So there's something in that.
You would hope that in building Cobham they would have taken that into account though.
I hope they still do a lot of swimming. It certainly helps racehorses.
"There is a feeling among certain people at the club that John is too powerful, that he wields too much influence.”
There has been anger among Chelsea’s top brass at some of Terry’s antics over the last year, and according to sources SUPPORT for the England star within the dressing room is NOT TOTAL.
LINK
Finally the cows running this club have woken up. Bust up with TSO.
Bust up with Tim Kent.
And that why-did-you-take-Ballack-off-instead-of-Deco incident. How long were they going to let this bullshit go on? If Sparky wants to give us £40m for a cock, thats good business.
-Sign Weater or Cahill.
Get rid of Lamp, we can't afford a player whose only interest is individual accolades. Enough!!!
-Sign Hernanes
Essien- Cost us two CLs in a row. Let Spurs score an easy goal that cost us the PL the other day. So what is he good at? Someone?
-We don't need a replacement here.
if u wanna watch me sing watch this :)
LINK
tell me if i can make it as a star means alot to me from Blue's like me :)
Reply to Moffat:
Quite frankly, it would be supremely difficult to be any more wrong than you already are.
I think Zhirkov is a good buy. Skillful ,creative and very intelligent on the pitch (I am not saying this ‘cause he is a bit attractive…I seriously thing of him as good player )
We are buying clever this summer. Last summer, it was horrible…failing to sign Robinho, signing Deco who turned out to be bad (and I knew that he is old and finished),Bosingwa is the only bright spot.
And of course, that summer was the summer when Scolari arrived. I am skeptical about Ancelotti, but much less skeptical.
Zhirkov is going to turn 26 this year…or already turned…Malouda was of similar age when he first came , that’s only thing that concerns me…I do think Zhirkov is better than Malouda, but Malouda had pretty good run with Hiddink…and beginning of his first season wasn’t that horrible.
You see, we always go crazy when a player starts good…Pizzarro, Malouda,Deco are fresh examples… Mutu too…In our recent history, every player that scored on his first game, turned out…not really good. Pizzaro , Shevchenko, Mutu,Deco… Malouda saved himself last season…So , I don’t want Zhirkov to make impact right away…After three or four games, he is allowed in my opinion to play good…I am not superstitious …but the record speaks for itself…:)
233.Moffat
There are pretty good players in the Chinese league…That club Guangzou Pheu whatever…yeah, we can sign them, for cheap money and they can play instead of Terry,Lampard and Essien. I mean seriously, who needs them? Nobody wants them anymore, maybe some rich guy from Uzbekistan…
I mean seriously, who needs John Terry , influential captain, one of the best defenders in the world and who would rather sell his own heart than lose a game…We can buy some defender from Papua New Guinea
Yeah, Essien…I mean, who needs him? We can buy some player from American Samoa…Seriously, who needs that energetic machine, who fixes everybody mistakes , scores amazing goals, gives his 100 %...? WHO NEEDS ESSIEN?
Lampard…ok, now seriously… I have to say, I was disappointed when he wanted to leave for Inter, but I still love the guy…However, he needs to go! Someone from San Marino is more intelligent than this guy and has better shot…I mean, everything!
p.s. I wasn’t going to offend any of these countries. I am from a small country myself, which is not high on the FIFA Rankings . I was just giving examples.
Don't let him get to you Sarah........
It's a sad story, but he leant his head to one-side and his brain fell out of his ear one day!
We try to resist taking the bait these days.
Moffat,
There's a standing ovation here for you.
As incredible as it seems, you manager to 'out-stupid' yourself with every comment you post here. My calculations make it about 6 more posts before you've descended so far into idiocy that something you post may actually have substance and make sense.
Then again....
If I'm not mistaken Moffat's ever more gnomic and inscrutable comments, which are always directed at undermining the accepted view, seem to indicate someone schooled in the Ken Dodd approach to engagement with the surrounding world....
(inserting large front teeth to provide suitable overbite, donning large black wig with hair going everywhere, grabbing feather duster, adopting suitable Liverpuddlian style accent, failing to pay large amounts of money to the Inland Revenue)
My my, it's a lovely day for walking into Woolworths and shouting Marks & Spencer
Reply to BlueBayou:
Moffat does need to work on upping his titter-per-minute rate considerably though.
On an entirely different note, I have just watched Katherine Jenkins warbling at the first Ashes test. To suggest this particular spectacle has made concentration difficult for the rest of the day is something of an understatement.
238. Greenlight
I write very stupid things when I am really angry at the team- for example, sell Lampard,sell Cech,bench Ashley Cole…etc… but I never , never, say sell JT or Essien.
So, I consider Moffat an attention seeker and I was stupid enough to comment on his idiotic comments…making him happy……but just couldn’t resist :)
Just one more thing…What concerns me about Zhirkov, is that he is the same age now, as Malouda was in 2007.
Zhirkov looked really great player to me on EURO 2008 and on YouTube clips, just like Malouda looked great when I watched French Ligue (yeah, I watch it sometimes) and YouTube…
Lets face it, Russian League, improved a lot these years, but its, of course, much weaker than Premier League, Primera and it’s also weaker than Bundesliga and Serie A (Serie A is… as you can assume, not really strong league after Calcopolli scandal)…I would say Russian League is of similar quality like Ligue Orange…Ok in the French League, they play really beautiful football…but…
I am just thinking, will Zhirkov start good first 4-5 games and than be Maloudaish for the next two years?
Maybe I am like this, ‘cause I am really excited to about Zhirkov…what I saw of him, he looks Robbenish …I don’t mean like type of play,quality –a bit worse and older but without injury problem…
You can stick signing Pato or Aguero up your arse.
Hell, you can even stick signing David Villa in the orifice of your choosing, for I have just heard the most exciting news pretty much ever.
Cadburys are, for a limited time, going to start selling Wispa Golds again. The mightiest chocolate bar is coming back. It's going to rekindle all sorts of 'trip to the newsagents' memories for me. Christ, I might start collecting football stickers again.
All...apologies for the lack of a new BP Express - I'm trying to get something worthwhile and a bit fun together so hopefully by the weekend there'll be something there.
Being Bi-polar of course means I'm not actually promising anything.
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Can't wait Tony.
Btw, how Do I post my own Thing on The ChelseaBlog? must I just get a hold of Nick and E-mail It to Him?
Reply to ChelseaTony:
Ask the Muppet to write it, now that could generate some debate
Read this and felt depressed. It may never happen but has the ring of plausibility about it.
LINK
As I'm currently enduring another year of "Lance Pharmstrong is the only pro racer and Le Tour is the only bike race" nonsense destroying my other beloved sport I dread seeing an even greater concentration of money and power concentrated in even fewer hands for the entertainment of the "uncaring masses"
@ mike12
Click on the Publish Link above it has contact details. Look forward to the read.