Gallas simply too forgetful to be Arsenal captain

William Gallas was talking today about the Champions League and his experience with Chelsea. He lost a couple of semi-finals with the west London club, to Monaco and to Liverpool.

He's determined to use that experience to help his young team mates though, saying:

"Sometimes it is difficult to accept losing in the semi-finals. We were very close to reaching the final. If we will go to the semi-final I can speak with the guys and tell them to be careful because sometimes those games are very strange."

Excuse me! Hello! It appears Mr Gallas has completely forgotten that most of this Arsenal team has experience of getting to the final itself, despite being cheated out of the trophy by a Barcelona side that had obviously paid off the officials and UEFA themselves.

How could he forget that? It's not like he wouldn't be reminded it of it enough during training.

Gallas: "Hey, Cesc! Pass the ball. I'm in a very good position here."

Cesc: "I would William, but you are a Champions League semi-final loser whereas I am Champions League final loser."

Sportsmen never miss a chance to make another sportsman forget his failings. So this can only mean that William Gallas has severe memory problems. And this could be bad for Arsenal. What would happen if Gallas forgot to mark his man? A goal, that's what. But that would not be the least of our worries. What if Gallas simply forgot who he was and checked himself into a hospital to find out the truth just hours before an important match?

And what if he found out who he was just in time to get to the ground but halfway through his journey he forgot how to drive and ran over a dozen orphans on their one day out from prison? That's the kind of carnage we can do without.

Frankly, that is a risk we cannot take with our captain. Either he takes to writing things on the back of his hand so he doesn't forget them or we hand the armband to somebody else.