For tomorrow's crucial game against Croatia I would play the following team. With so many players missing it isn't my ideal lineup (see previous article "England: The problems and the solution"), however I have stuck with a similar fomation.

                                                     Defoe

Cole                                                                                             Rooney

                                       Lampard

                                                                  Jenas

                                                   Barry

 Cole                                                                                            Johnson

                                    Ferdinand              Terry

                                                  James

My formation lends to two options. One is Defoe upfront with Rooney wide right and cutting in, as theres no point in playing crosses up to Defoe. Defoe is good with his back to goal and can bring in Lampard, as well as Cole pulling back balls from the left to Lampard as he races into the box ala Chelsea.

The other option is to play Heskey upfront (Rooney has shown he cant play this role). In this case, Rooney would take Lampards place, offering some support and creativity to offset Heskey. Bentley would then come in at right wing and whip balls in for Heskey to either attack with his head or knock down for Rooney or Cole.

I would start with the Defoe option and as the game wore on, if we needed to, remove Lampard and Defoe and introduce Heskey and Bentley, possibly Walcott if the game is still stretched.

I have gone with Jenas in the centre as he may now have a good reading of Modric from Spurs training sessions. He will also  offer some box to box running allowing Barry to sit and protect, and Lampard to support Heskey. Jenas' athleticism will be crucial to pressure the compact and ball playing Croat midfield.

With lots of talk about the impossible system Keegan worked under at Newcastle, and managers talking of how they could never work like Keegan had to, I find myself thinking, “are you all stupid?”

 

The system Keegan worked under is nothing new. Tottenham use it, Sevilla use it, in fact most of Europe use it. All these managers such as Laudrup, Mancini, Ramos, Jol, Schuster, Rijkaard, Ten Cate etc have all successfully managed under this system. Why are English managers so inept that they can’t adapt to this continental way? Redknapp, Curbishly, Keegan, Southgate and Shearer have all said how it is not something they would want. But it must be good for the club as it is spreading further and further within the game.

 

Spurs fans have often wondered what the deal is with this system and how it works. Well Daniel Levy duely explained after the appointment of Juande Ramos:

 “We have a Football Management Group which meets on a regular basis – this is constituted by myself, Damien Comolli (Sporting Director), John Alexander (Club Secretary) and the Head Coach, now Juande Ramos. This group meets to discuss, identify and acquire players in targeted positions and to consider possible disposals. No player is brought into the Club or sold who is not approved by the coaching staff – it would be counter-productive to buy players that won’t be played. It is a system that Juande has worked with for years, which allows him to specify his needs and to concentrate on coaching the team whilst Damien and his scouting network seek options. This process clearly relies on accurate briefing and good decision making. It has a collective responsibility.” Makes sense. Leave the coach to coach, whilst some super scout goes out everyday looking for the ideal players to fill the problem areas the coach identified. Once targets are identified, talk about them and come to a conclusion. It should maximise the time spent coaching and scouting, developing more transfer options and more in-depth player analysis. Obviously it doesn’t always run smoothly and too many cooks can sometimes spoil the broth, but in general most clubs do just fine. 

So why do people in England seem to blame this structure on the failings of most English managers? In Keegan’s case he is a dinosaur and simply thinks its still 1990. The rest, Im not sure. They seem obsessed with controlling everything. Maybe its because many don’t have the coaching qualifications to be great coaches and rely on a bit of wheeling and dealing along with a bit of motivation to get by ala Harry Redknapp. The likes of Southgate and Ince also went straight in without the right badges. The real reason is simple, the English (or more accurately, English football managers) are stubborn, inflexible and suspicious and dismissive of anything foreign and different, just like the media that blame the continental system in the first place. As most of us working in the real world know, if you cant change and move with the new stuff the directors throw at you, then you better find another job sooner rather than later.

For the last few days it has been quite clear that the next person to make the ill-fated trip to the small country of Newcastle Land, inhabited by deluded, but well meaning Geordies, would be committing career suicide. Whoever takes over (unless its Shearer) will not be wanted by the fans, the board have restrictive finances to improve a distinctly average squad and the pressure to succeed will be huge. Not a nice career choice really. However there will be plenty of mugs, or “applicants” as they like to be called, willing to step up and take the fat cheque.

 

I was at first alarmed to see Gus Poyet is now odds on to take the role. At first I thought for my own Tottenham side, “how could he leave us for that shower up there! That’s the end of his managerial career!”. Then, “He isn’t even a number one, only ever an assistant, the fans will go ballistic”. But then my opinion softened slightly. The main problem the media will have you believe is the ability of the manager to work with Wise and Jiminez (see my other post “Stupid Englishman”). With this in mind Poyet makes a lot more sense, having worked very successfully with Wise at Leeds and Milwall, in fact there would be no better choice in this criteria. Poyet is also held in high regard as a coach, hence his move to work with Ramos at Tottenham. This coaching pedigree is far more important in Newcastle’s set up than transfer nouce. This appointment is looking like it could make sense.

 

But the real swing vote comes from the blatantly imminent takeover that will appear at St James’ before too long. Once the next “look at me bid for Kaka/Messi/Buffon/Pele” billionaire comes along to take over from Ashley will they really want Poyet at their club? I doubt it. Any self respecting Billionaire would want the biggest names and media coverage. Gustavo Poyet just won’t cut it in the fame game. That leaves him jobless with probably half a season as a manager as experience. He may then find his next appointment a little bit harder to come by (Quieroz ended up back where he started after his Madrid holiday).

 

Simply, don’t do it Gus, stay a bit longer under the guidance of Ramos and then take an opportunity at a more stable club, maybe take over from Ramos in the future. But please don’t jump too early and take the poisoned challis after they have just chucked the fans “untouchable”.

With the transfer window soundly closed for the summer it is a good time to now take stock and continue the look at how the teams may fair this season. I won’t bother with the top four as they are obvious and you can read Sky Sports or any tabloid to get your top four fix. The real interesting stuff for the majority of us, will happen in the fight for 5^th and the battle to avoid relegation.

At first glance it seems that the likes of Hull, Stoke and a lesser extent West Brom will go straight back to the grind of the championship, and from my table, that seems to be my stance. But I don’t think it will be that simple. Al three have shown they will battle valiantly and will take a few scalps along the way. Like last season it may end up with 4 or 5 teams in a real dogfight until the last few games, but I can’t see a Derby situation occurring. Stoke will try to emulate Bolton and will struggle the most because of it. But like Bolton their style may cause the odd upset but 9 times out of 10 disappoint. West Brom are widely regarded as a footballing side but at this level I can’t see them scoring enough and will let in too many (sounds obvious but true). For me, their side lacks that extra quality and throughout their team I can see lots of excellent championship players but very few decent premiership ones. It is this fact that will mean they will struggle to make it across that relegation line. Hull have made a few good signings, especially Geovanni and Boateng. With Phil Brown spurring them on they will work hard and earn the odd shock, but again, quality shows across 38 games.

Manchester City’s ridiculous 12 hours has been greeted by much excitement by the tabloids, and in some respects its justified, but they won’t be challenging the top four just yet. All the excitement generated by the usual media suspects has come from Robinho (the usual case of the press being mesmerised by the big shiny-shiny in the middle of the room). However I have a feeling Robinho may struggle to adapt and although he will produce the odd moment of genius, will be hounded out of the game by most teams. Oh, and obviously, in 10 months time when Chelsea and Milan declare interest, expect Robinho to stage a repeat of his Madrid and Santos antics. Beyond Robinho, the return of Wright-Philips and the potential of Jo and Kompany will be intriguing to watch. There is no doubt they have strengthened. It will be between City, Spurs and Everton for 5^th, with Spurs style and quality will see them slip into 5^th (just).

Everton haven’t started well, but I wouldn’t read too much into that. Under Moyes they will be solid at the back with a splash of creativity in midfield and a potent striker in Yakubu (or Saha if fit) up front. The addition of Fellaini finally fills the void left by Carsley; that was so obviously there in the first 3 games of the season. If Cahill can get back sooner rather than later then Everton will definitely push hard for 5^th. A word on Cahill, I firmly believe that if Tim Cahill had avoided injury in the last 3 seasons then we would be reading about Tim Cahill potentially moving for £20million a year or so ago, or at least being courted by the top clubs in Europe.

I will continue to look more in depth at teams such as Aston Villa, Tottenham, Middlesbrough, West Ham and Newcastle another time, if there is time.  For now, I will stick my neck on the line again with some predictions on teams, players and managers for the following season (unfortunately Keegan beat me too it by resigning before I wrote this!)

Players to make their real breakthrough: Walcott, Babel, Bale, Muamba

 

Unsung Heroes: Wheater, Simon Davies, Malbranque,  Hammann, Reo-Coker, Kilbane, Warnock

Too much hype not enough delivery: Robinho, Robbie Keane, Rooney, Scolari

Stars of the season: Nasri, Modric, Gomes, Bosingwa, Carrick, Fabregas, Ashley Young

Overachievers:  Sunderland, Middlesbrough

Underachievers: Newcastle, Liverpool

After the luckiest run of fixtures seen in a long time during last season triumphant FA cup campaign, Pompey go into European football for the first time in a long time. With all the joy and excitement that goes with achieving this holy grail of ‘the rest’ of the league, comes a hidden danger. Blackburn and Bolton suffered from this terror, in part, so did Tottenham. Ipswich in their second season crumbled and Middlesbrough and Manchester City have not been exempt. The danger is that for a team unfamiliar (and sometimes even when familiar) with Uefa cup football and the extra demands it places on the body and mind through extra games and time spent travelling from home to Norway to Sunderland to home to turkey and back again, there will be a loss in league form.

I can see Portsmouth suffering a little for this as history has taught us that this may be a factor in their consistency across the year. Apart from this European curse I am very positive for Pompey’s season. Their famously solid defence including James, Johnson, Distin and the slightly creaking Campbell will no doubt hold them in good stead through the season, however I wonder whether a European campaign may be a step too far for Campbell at this stage of his career

The most exciting thing for Pompey fans will be the partnership of Defoe and Crouch. Together for England the pair have looked to offer a good balance and variety of attacking options. The pair will no doubt form a formidable club partnership and backed up by the quality of Kranjcar and Diarra there are good signs for 2009.

If they drop out of a cup early or if they weren’t in Europe I would say a top 7 finish is very realistic, but with the quality of the Premier League and a new venture in Europe I think 8^th may be more realistic.

Season prediction: 8^th – Defoe to be near the top of the scoring charts and a solid challenge for a second UEFA Cup campaign

Sunderland have been busy this summer raiding Tottenham’s fringe players to take their squad to the next phase of their development. This tactic was solidly used by Harry Redknapp at Portsmouth when he made the triple signing of Mendes, Davis and Pamarot. That summer set a good foundation for Portsmouth to become the Europe challenging underdogs they are now. It appears that Keane saw this and thought, “that’s for me”. He, like Redknapp identified some defenders and midfielders to give him a stronger backbone and add a bit of technical ability to midfield. It appears only 3 of the 4 players approached by Keane, but the 3 that have made the long trip north and well worthy of excited optimism from the Sunderland faithful.

For all his faults, Chimbonda is still a very good premier league right back and is still the same player that was included in the premier league XI when at Wigan. His forward runs and aerial ability will also add a lot to Sunderland’s forward play.

Tainio is a quality signing, if (it’s a big if) he can stay fit. At Tottenham he made appearances in fits and starts but appeared in most of their big games, most notably the Arsenal and Chelsea matches in the Carling Cup victories. He will add tenacity and tactical awareness to midfield and will be a big hit if he gets the games under his belt.

Steeeeed Malbranque as he will be quickly referred, will be the darling of the fans. Last season he was arguably (and Im arguing he was!) Spurs best player. His forward runs, goals and his tackling, yes tackling, will help make the difference in games. Malbranque’s attacking prowess has always been admired but it is his tracking back and willingness to tackle and break up the oppositions play that has most impressed me and will be vital in a team like Sunderland who cant carry players only any good in one direction like Martin Petrov at Man City or Aaron Lennon at Spurs.

The one problem Keane may have is up front. With Kenwyne Jones out for a stretch, he will need to find a quality striker to finish off Malbranque's deliveries. If they can't improve the strikers then my prediction may fall short and they will struggle to finish above 14th.

With a few more solid signings Keane will have a side to compete with the mid-table sides and I fully expect them to push on this season and be clear of the relegation fight by Christmas. Keane is learning quickly in the Premier League and is proving that playing under Alex Ferguson for most of your career is indeed the key to managerial success. On that note, maybe we can look forward to seeing Sky Sports hyping up Beckham’s Wigan taking on Gigg’s high flying West Ham in the not too distant future.

Season Prediction: 11^th – Sunderland quietly and effectively move into mid-table and finish above Newcastle

In Paul Ince’s short managerial career he has been forced to toil away with very limited funds and to spend this meagre pocket money in the unforgiving and treacherous lower leagues. To his credit he has performed well at both Macclesfield and MK Dons, but he now finds himself in a much different scenario. With the sale of David Bentley to Tottenham Ince now has around £15million to invest following his only summer signings of Robinson and Fowler. How he spends this money will be very intriguing and will be the first big test of his marketplace savy and eye for a real bargain player with the abilities to keep Blackburn challenging for mid-table mediocrity.

This season it is very likely that we will see the middle of the pack (7^th down to 14^th) separated by only a handful of points as they were for the majority of last season. This means that with guile and Wenger like identification of talent, Ince could propel Rovers into an intertoto place. However it is even easier to slip down the table towards a relegation dog fight following spending all the coffers on veteran strikers and unknown South American midfielders.

The current evidence at Rovers is mixed. Paul Robinson I am sure will prove a solid signing and will ensure some key games remain draws and not defeats, wins and not draws. However there will be times the opposite will occur and how Ince deals with these dips in form will be key. The main concern with Robinson is that he is filling the void left by one of the highest performing goalkeepers in recent premier league history. Friedel has been instrumental in Blackburn’s fortunes and if Robinson can’t match these performances, then Blackburn may start to drop a few more points than previously under Friedel’s guard.

Fowler on the other hand is a puzzling one. I can’t think why Ince has bought him into the squad. I certainly can’t see him playing more than a fist full of games for them this season. Fowler failed to set the world alight at Cardiff and I can’t see that changing at Rovers. He is ultimately bought in a back up to McCarthy and the brilliant Santa Cruz, I just hope that Matt Derbyshire, who so often pops off the bench to score is not dropped below Fowler in the pecking order in a vote for experience over youthful exuberance.

I foresee a continuation in Ince’s transfer success and a mix bag of a few solid first team regulars and an equal measure of obscure flops. Ultimately Blackburn’s success will rest on replacing the service and goals of Bentley, something I can’t see them doing unless the majority of that £15million is invested in one star acquisition. It is more likely that we will see the safe route taken of spreading that money across 3 or 4 players to tweak several areas of the team.

Season prediction: 14th - Fighting relegation whilst flirting with the mid-table

 The Problems

Since the beginning of time it has been pretty much accepted that England will play in flatt 4-4-2 formation and in the english style of power, pace and pumping a long ball when you need a goal in the last half hour. In recent years it has also been accepted that Gerrard and Lampard can’t play alongside eachother, but that despite this the England manager will play them together anyway on the theory that if you play the 11 most expensive/biggest players in the country you will create the best eleven.

It has been refreshing then to see that Capello has been giving Mr Versatile Gareth Barry a chance as a partner for Gerrard. The problem is that Lampard is still used in the team and that Barry is the wrong player to partner Gerrard.

The problem with Lampard is that he is a one system man. At Chelsea he sits behind the front men and makes sure he is around the edge of the box when crosses are put in and picks up goals with late runs into the box and picking up the loose ball around the edge of the box. He is then supported by the likes of makelele sitting infront of the front 4 and essien running around winning the ball back and Ballack spreading the ball around the pitch. This gives Lampard. For England, in a 4-4-2, Lampard can’t play to his strength’s. He is asked to work up and down the pitch and to close down the opposition with only Gerrard to help out. Lampard simply isn’t comfortable and unless we can find an English Drogba then we won’t be playing a system to suite Lampard.

The Solution

The solution lies with a player who has won the champions league, two premiership titles and an FA cup in the last 2 seasons and since his arrival at his club 2 years ago has heralded in a renewed era of dominance it seems for said club. Like Lampard he also began his career as a West Ham starlet. Of course this player is Michael Carrick. The reason why Carrick is the key to England’s future success can be seen in every successful team in the last few years. Each team has had a player that can sit in front of the defence, pick the ball up from the back four (stopping the need for them to thump it to the strikers) and play simple balls up to the creative players in the team. This player must also have good reading of the game and occupy a position in the pitch to break up attacks effectively and to dictate the pace of the game.

For the last 3 years I have always explained to friends this theory and used Italy as an example of how England must play. The world cup winners won the holy grail of international football by deploying Pirlo in this role, with Gattuso running around as a destroyer, cameronesi offering some skill and width when needed and Totti the creative fulcrum. But in recent time I have been given a wealth of examples of teams deploying a Carrick type player to impress fans and pundits alike, as well trophies galore. Below I have listed the team and their Carrick equivelant.

• Italy / AC Milan – Pirlo

• Spain – Senna

• Man Utd – Carrick

• Chelsea – Makelele

• Liverpool / Argentina – Mascherano

• Germany – Frings

• Croatia – Kovac

• Holland – De Jong / Engelaar

• Barcelona – Yaya Toure

• Zenit St Petersburg - Tymoschuck

There are more I am sure but I feel these examples are ample to illustrate the importance of Carrick. You may say that Barry fulfils this role, an you will be partially right. Barry however is a poor mans Carrick and is far more limited than Carrick. Carrick’s passing range and reading of the game is far superior and are key attributes for this role in the team. The fact that Sir Alex Ferguson chose Carrick over any other player in the world to fill this role also speaks volumes of his ability.

Many people say of Carrick that he is isn’t a defensive midfielder because he can’t tackle and doesn’t run around kicking people like Hargreaves or Essien. Firstly, he can tackle. People who say Carrick can’t tackle didn’t watch Tottenham or Man Utd when he was playing. Watch Carrick and he breaks up a huge amount of the oppositions play. The fact that Ferguson plays him in the centre of midfield alongside the worst tackler in football (Paul Scholes) is an indication of Carrick’s defensive abilities. Anyway, his role would not be a gattuso style destroyer, that would be Hargreaves job in an England line up.

Most importantly the inclusion of Carrick allows the rest of the England team to express themselves fully, as can be seen in Manchester United last year and Spain in Euro 2008. With Carrick, the likes of Ronaldo, Scholes, Rooney, Giggs, Tevez, Anderson can bomb forward and cause havoc to the opposition. For Spain, Senna allows Xavi, Iniesta and Silva freedom to roam and invent for Villa and Torres. For England Carrick will free Gerrard, Cole, Bentley, Lennon, Rooney to really stretch defences.

To illustrate how this all comes together I have drawn up my dream England line up that I believe will bring success.This is shown in the picture above. Here Joe Cole offers some width but has free reign to move around infront of the opposition defence an be as creative as possible. Bentley offers permanent width and crosses for Rooney and Gerrard. Gerrard will also have freedom to roam and to support Rooney with birsting runs forward. Hargreaves is then free to be a destroyer and close down the oppositions midfield. Against lesser opposition Hargreaves can be dropped as a destroyer is not needed and replaced with a second striker.

As always with tactics, half of you will completely disagree and say we should play 4-3-3 or 2-2-4 or a Christmas tree or maybe a good old WM formation, we will never all agree. Please let me know what you think is wrong with this theory as as far as I am concerned there are none, and I think the current Premier league, Champions League, UEFA Cup, World cup and European champions would agree.

Euro 2008 was a great tournament, one of the best I can remember over the last 15 years I have been watching football. Holland’s free flowing counter attacking thrilled us all and Spain’s smooth and patient passing game hypnotised even the most patriotic of England fans (even though many were just young scousers cheering for Fernando Torre’s Spain).

Yet for all the exotic entertainment of neutrality, it couldn’t match the nail biting, overoptimistic hysteria that grips us all during England games at a big tournament. As many of televisions commentators reminded us there was ‘Arsenal’s Fabregas on the ball’ or ‘Manchester United star Ronaldo’ to cheer on, and ‘Tottenham’s new signing Modric’ (none of which were referred to as a Germany, Spain or Croatia player.) But if only it was a young English talent from one of these clubs to cheer on instead, it may have been less enjoyable but far more exciting.

Wheres the problem?

Since that fateful night in North London where our destiny was finalised we have had endless calls for a reduction in foreign players in the first teams of premiership sides. Sepp Blatter has even been touting his latest hair brained scheme of a 6+5 rule to reduce the amount of foreign players. With any cap on player movement and squad restrictions basically unenforceable and illegal it is hard to see how England’s talents will progress to allow us to make an impact, or at least appear, in future tournaments.

The problem has been the stiffs at the FA and FIFA have been focusing on the wrong areas. It isn’t foreign players in the first teams that is causing youth to not progress, in fact by having the likes of Henry, Berbatov, Vidic and Makelele to look up to and learn from, they may be actually improving as players. It is in fact having foreign players in the academy and reserves that is stopping England reaching the top of international football. Clubs can only take so many young players into its academy structure and then keep in the reserves as back up to the first team or whilst they develop and break through, yet more and more of these limited spaces are going to foreign players, spotted by an eagle eyed scout and plucked from their home towns in Spain, France or Ghana before their even 18 and fast tracked into the academies and reserves.

Numbers Game

It is a simple case of adding up the numbers. With no foreign players included in academies in the UK then there will be more British kids in academies receiving top coaching, give a greater chance of the one or two that do break through being British, produce more British players that drop to championship or lesser sides to build their careers and fundamentally increasing the pool of talent for the national team and the quality level within that pool.

Imagine how players who have proven to be of a good premiership standard such as Bentley, Pennant, Muamba, Larsson, Sidwell would have progressed had they been allowed the opportunity to break into the first-team at Arsenal instead of dropping down to lesser clubs for some of the most important years of their development. But these local players found that they had to compete for these already scarce opportunities with other talents that had been picked from across the world, from a pool of millions, and identified as some of the best talent in the world. So these young foreign prodigies’s are then given the time, resources and opportunities that could have been given to a local lad. Instead these players find their way into the first team blocked by foreign youngsters on the fringe of the squad and in the academies, and have to drop down to clubs in the championship (Muamba, Larsson, Sidwell) or lower reaches of the premiership where the coaching and development is clearly not to the standard of Mr Wenger’s.

The Law

With so many laws restricting the movement of older players, maybe it would be more acceptable to simply stop the transfer of under 18 players, or should I say adolescents, as these players are merely children in the eyes of the law. By forcing teams to pick their entire academy squads from within the UK there will be more English kids receiving the top training and statistically more chance of the players breaking into the first team being English. From a legal perspective I am not sure of the legality, but it seems reasonable to say that children under the age of 18 can not move to the UK for the purposes of work in the football industry until their 18^th birthday. If nationality is an issue with the EU, maybe a system based on where a player has been trained for the last 3 years, or something similar to UEFA’s proposals for restricting foreign players in the Champions League and UEFA Cup could be used.

It is a tantalising thought that had rules been in place to stop the transfers of Toure, Bedntner, Fabregas, Clichy etc we could be in awe of players such as Bentley, Pennant and Sidwell instead. Not as exotic or enjoyable but far more exciting.

This pattern of buying foreign for the academy and under the age of 18 is widespread. The following table gives a sample of how many players in Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal’s squads was purchased or joined the academy, under the age of 18 and are not of British nationality, in the last few seasons.

Arsenal Traore (France) Van Den Berg (Holland) Merida (Spain) Barazite (Holland) Szczesny (Poland) Fonte (Portugal) Nordtveit (Norway) Sunu (France) Rasmussen (Denmark)	Chelsea Camilleri (Italy) Djalo (Portugal) Kukuta (France) Sala (Italy) Borini (Italy) Nielsen (Denmark) Aanholt (Holland) Fernandes (Portugal) Tejera (Spain) Stoch (Slovakia) Sahar (Israel) Ferreira (Portugal)
Liverpool Ajdarevic (Sweden) Bouzanis (Australia) Kacaniklic (Sweden) Pourie (Germany) Dominguez (Spain) Pacheco (Spain) Antui (Ghana) Ayala (Spain) Weijl (Holland) Saric (Bosnia) Blanco (Argentina) Gulacsi (Hungary) Simon (Hungary) Hansen (Denmark)

 

Today Manchester United have been linked with Berbatov, Eto'o, Santa Cruz, Villa, Benzema, Kevin Philips to solve that achilles heel that dogged them so badly in the last campaign, a lack of goals.

OK, I made up the Philips link, but if the press continue with this policy of 'if we bet on all the horses we will definately win' tactic then its only a matter of days before he's the latest name in the hat to solve their striker crisis (this is the same full proof tactic deployed to find out where Berbatov is moving to and whether Ronaldo will stay or go, just pick both and alternate each day).

To the more puzzling issue, why are the papers so obsessed with United buying a striker? Does Wayne Rooney have steel for bones and its only a matter of weeks before they all rust up? Or will Tevez be loaned to Shaktar Donesk on Tuesday in the latest bizarre loan deal devised by Lord Joorabchian? Because as far as I could see, Manchester United done just dandy when it came to hitting the back of the onion bag.

My last attempt at reasoning why the press forver write about Manchester United wanting this that and the other striker is that the papers are top four obsessed drones that can only get their rushes every time they think of an exotic striker being swapped for a suitcase of fifty's, its like their heroin...