The Return of Full-Size Monster Munch Provides Silver lining to Sperz Fans!
Friday, 19 September 08, 09:12 AM · Comments(0)
At a time of increasing financial uncertainty there is some good news this morning. Not the US Federal Reserve’s loan to five world banks to shore up failing markets, rather Walkers have announced that Monster Munch are to return to their original size! After 13 years of smaller inferior Monster Munch this is welcome news indeed. To add to this we will also see the return of the blue, pink and yellow-green monsters. Apparently Joey Barton was keen to become the fourth monster but his dislike of the Pickled Onion variety of the corn snack was a major stumbling block in contract negotiations.
Bolton away tomorrow and thankfully the last of the three away fixtures we have had this week. Would it really be that hard to ensure that premiership teams can play home and away in turn rather than having two or three away or home games in a row? Nasri and Silvestre are still out and surprise surprise poor old Abou Diaby is still recovering from a knock. Whatever the hell that means. I wonder if it’s his knee/thigh?
Rosicky’s agent has announced that the player isn’t on the verge of having to retire through injury. I’m relieved, I like the squat little chap and hope that he can work his way through this sh!tty period in his career. I’ve heard he has a very rare condition, I would like to know what the hell it is though. If it turns out to be the mother of all knee/thigh strains I wouldn’t be in the least surprised.
Sir Alex Ferguson. They give out Knighthoods way too easily now. There was a time when a Knighthood was only given to those who show outstanding bravery in battle. Now we have a situation in which Elton John is a Knight of the Realm. Ludicrous. I’d like to see Elton and Sir Alex lead the line next time we take on the Taliban! Anyway, honorifics aside, The red nosed loon has been giving us his insights into the future of the little ragamuffin Theo Walcott………..and he made some sensible points, plus he seemed to be quite nice about Arsenal and Mr Wenger. Well done that man, maybe you aren’t such a total buttmonkey after all. Does anybody know if anybody made a video of the Battle of Buffet? I badly want to see Cesc throw Pizza at Fergies chops. Fabregas should get a Knighthood for that!!
Tottenham are bottom of the league. That really is a nice thought isn’t it. Dicks!! It’s easy to hate United, Chelsea and Liverpool due to their position as actual rivals, but even though Sperz are a joke I still really f*cking hate them. I hate their fans ludicrous bleating every season that they will displace us in the Champions League; I hate the clichés about being a sleeping giant or a big club; I hate their stupid white kit and that ridiculous cock emblem that is just so very apt; and most of all I hate the pathetic stories of the glory years/waddle-hoddle/gazza/Nicholson etc etc. On the other hand I love the fact that they are bottom of the league; I love their constant failure; I love that they waste millions on totally crap players; I love the look on the fans faces when we beat them virtually every time we play them in the league; I love the fact that they spent so much on Marcus Bent; I love that their stadium is rubbish and currently I love the fact that they had to sell their two best players in the close season!!
Ahhh, Tottenham. Thanks for the comedy interlude.
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