In this blog I aim to answer the eternal question posed in pub debates across the land. Just how many players would have to be injured before Titus Bramble, football's clumsiest defender, earned himself an England cap? First of all we have to consider that despite being famous for continually making hilarious gaffes like this.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqLaSZxX64A&feature=related

And this   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEbssmoJS4c

and this whole collection of beuties here  http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=M6Drrc1--vY

he is still a premiership footballer, better than I or probably anyone reading this, and did earn 10 caps for England's under-21s team. nonetheless I reckon the following 22 players are all ahead of Titus in the pecking order for England’s centre-back position. Seeing as it is usually the case that England play with two centre backs, we can assume that 21 of the following 22 men would have to be injured 

John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Joleon Lescott, Micah Richards, Johnathan Woodgate, David Wheater, Sol Campbell , Wes Brown  Michael Dawson, Nedim Onouha, Matthew Upson, Ledley King (Always injured anyways, but could come back for one game like in the Carling Cup Final), Anton Ferdinand, Justin Hoyte, Zat Knight, Garry Neville (can play CB), Phil Neville, Linvoy Primus, Curtis Davies, Jlloyd Samuel, Steven Taylor and finally Jamie Carragher

Carragher is of course retired from international football, but I figure that after about 20 players being injured, a public campaign would be so great for Carra to return, there’d be front page headlines in the red-top tabloids.

I would at this stage like to point out that I have not simply named every English centre-back I can, and have missed out the following, who I believe Titus is probably ahead of in Capello’s thinking;

Anthony Gardner

Glen Johnson (more of a right back, and would be likely to play there if Neville and Richards were injured)

Andy Todd

Gary Cahill

Paul Konchesky

Me

Your mum

Tony Adams

Bobby Moore  

But fear not Titus, for although England has plenty of centre-backs, they seem to be lacking up front. If you can produce this on a regular basis, there is still hope

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9eLZ8UxPTs&NR=1  

Titus - wasted striker   Bobby Moore - presently unavailable