Today the Olympics begins in China, and every Olympics I wish that we in the UK had a team to support in the Olympics, but no team has been entered since 1972 on the grounds that if we competed as the UK in the Olympics, they might make the home nations compete as the UK in the World Cup. In four years time the Olympics is coming to London, and the pressure is on the hosts to enter a team. The Scottish, Northern Irish and Welsh Football Associations have all voiced their opposition to joining up with the team (England) that they usually wouldn’t cheer for unless they were playing a Nazi War criminals XI, but the British Olympic Association has told them to go fuck themselves with a chainsaw and has defiantly stated it’s going to enter a team anyway. Thus the UK will probably enter a team for the London 2012 football tournament. Who will be in that team in four years time is anybody’s guess, as nobody knows which young players will have made the big time, and which will be languishing in the lower leagues, but this is the team that I personally would pick for Beijing if we were allowed to enter. Olympic rules limit each squad to nineteen players, only three of which can be over 23.   

UK Olympic Football Squad 2008

Goalkeepers

Wayne Hennessey, West Brom, Wales

Scott Carson, West Brom, England

Defenders 

Rio Ferdinand, Manchester United, England

David Wheater, Middlesboro, England

Alan Hutton, Tottenham Hotspurs, Scotland 

Micah Richards, Manchester City, England

Glen Johnson, Portsmouth, England

Gareth Bale, Tottenham Hotspurs, Wales

Midfielders

Tom Huddlestone, Tottenham Hotspurs, England

Steven Davis, Fulham, Northern Ireland

Steven Gerrard, Liverpool, England (Captain)

David Bentley, Blackburn, England

Stuart Downing, Middlesboro, England

Ashley Young, Aston Villa England

Forwards 

Wayne Rooney, Manchester United, England

Jermaine Defoe, Portsmouth, England

Theo Walcott, Arsenal, England

Gabriel Agbonlahor, Aston Villa 

Picking the three overage players in the squad posed the toughest choice, with the Lampard / Gerrard debate posing the problem so failiar to so many England fans. In the end I went for Gerrard because of his leadership skills. No doubt everyone will think their home nation deserved more players, and the healthy rivalry between the home nations is one of the reasons why they treasure so much their footballing independence. Long may this independence reign, but for the football fans sake, please let the Olympics be one exception to the rule

 In this blog I aim to answer the eternal question posed in pub debates across the land. Just how many players would have to be injured before Titus Bramble, football's clumsiest defender, earned himself an England cap? First of all we have to consider that despite being famous for continually making hilarious gaffes like this.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqLaSZxX64A&feature=related

And this   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEbssmoJS4c

and this little beauty here  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY0aRU9HD9k 

he is still a premiership footballer, better than I or probably anyone reading this, and did earn 10 caps for England's under-21s team. nonetheless I reckon the following 22 players are all ahead of Titus in the pecking order for England’s centre-back position. Seeing as it is usually the case that England play with two centre backs, we can assume that 21 of the following 22 men would have to be injured 

John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Joleon Lescott, Micah Richards, Johnathan Woodgate, David Wheater, Sol Campbell , Wes Brown  Michael Dawson, Nedim Onouha, Matthew Upson, Ledley King (Always injured anyways, but could come back for one game like in the Carling Cup Final), Anton Ferdinand, Justin Hoyte, Zat Knight, Garry Neville (can play CB), Phil Neville, Linvoy Primus, Curtis Davies, Jlloyd Samuel, Steven Taylor and finally Jamie Carragher

Carragher is of course retired from international football, but I figure that after about 20 players being injured, a public campaign would be so great for Carra to return, there’d be front page headlines in the red-top tabloids.

I would at this stage like to point out that I have not simply named every English centre-back I can, and have missed out the following, who I believe Titus is probably ahead of in Capello’s thinking;

Anthony Gardner

Glen Johnson (more of a right back, and would be likely to play there if Neville and Richards were injured)

Andy Todd

Gary Cahill

Paul Konchesky

Me

Your mum

Tony Adams

Bobby Moore  

But fear not Titus, for although England has plenty of centre-backs, they seem to be lacking up front. If you can produce this on a regular basis, there is still hope

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9eLZ8UxPTs&NR=1  

Titus - wasted striker   Bobby Moore - presently unavailable