Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! Football Guy Towers has been a dark place this week to say the least what with the fall out of posse-gate (see Monday/Tuesday Hangover) it's been like my own personal Eduardo-gate only no one was accused of diving, yet there were some misinterpretations of rules and I think someone might been getting a ban which won't be overturned.......... Anyway, this is the last you shall read me write about it as I'm quite bored of the whole affair....... Kind of silly of me to bring it up then I guess.......

Anyway, it's time for the first real Power Rankings of the season and it's your chance to see where I think teams will end up come May based on what's happened so far. To see the Pre Season Power Rankings click HERE.

I have to say that I've so far enjoyed the season were having....... Even if my fantasy team is not doing all that well! What I've loved most about it is that it seems for the first time since I can remember teams are really having a go at each other and trying to win games, that adds excitement as no one really likes to see a draw........ Well unless it's a high scoring draw but they rarely happen, especially at Old Trafford...... So far we've had 56 Premiership games, care to guess how many have ended as a stalemate? TWO......... That's right TWO! The other 54 games have all had a winner and let me be the first to say "LONG MAY IT CONTINUE!"

Now I'm not saying you can't get a good game of football that ends in a draw, but the lack of draws is really pointing towards a change in attitude of teams who generally will finish outside the top Eight. In years gone by lesser teams have been to cautious when playing each other, not wanting to give an inch and settling for a point a piece, but now it seems we have a new attitude of "No Guts, No Glory" and in actual fact trying to win games will see you finish with more points in the long run and might well be the difference between going down or staying up. This does not only apply to teams who don't have Championship aspirations, I've often said it's not losing games that cost you the title, it's the draws that kill you. Just look at Liverpool last season, they only suffered two defeats yet that still was not enough to end their long arduous title drought. Put it this way, a title chaser could in theory lose Eight games and still be there or there about winning all the rest as that would give them 90pts, a total that will win you the league most years.

I'm sure now that I've wrote about it we'll see Six draws this weekend, but the longer we see teams going out there and trying to win football matches the better it will be for all of us who love the beautiful game.

The Power Rankings

Right, for those of you who don't know, this is basically where I think teams will finish the season and I will be doing one every month of so during the course of the season up until about March/April.

As always we shall start at the bottom.

The worse than Mick McCarthy division 20th - 19th

I didn't think it was possible but two managers have proved otherwise.

* Last months place in brackets

PR 20th (19th) PL 20th - Portsmouth

Pompey have flirted quite a few times with the drop since entering the Premier League, although unlike their previous flirts this one is going to see them get a restraining order and sent to prison..... I.E. The Championship.

The only thing that can save them is for some dumb rich guy to invest a whole lot of cash in them and buy their way out of trouble in January, kind of like a celebrity does when accused of some crime, but unfortunately for them I think they are destined to end up like Phil Spector and not like Michael Jackson, although considering the latter is dead maybe being Phil Spector isn't all that bad.

SkyBet are giving 6/4 odds on Paul Hart being the first manager sacked this season and for me that seems like buying money!

PR 19th (16th) PL 19th - Hull

If you don't fancy Paul Hart for the chop but still want a bet then you could do a lot worse than pick Phil Brown for the sack. I've never seen a manager have so many ex-players come out and say what a prick he is or for that matter have so many players refuse to join his team in a summer for the same reason....... I mean Jesus, even David Pleat and "Big" Ron Atkinson have more lovers than Phil Orange!

I think for the sake of karma they should fire the guy as doing a good deed can see a good deed done to you, or so they say.......

All in all Hull are just a poor side with a poor manager and that spells trouble.

The Basement division 18th - 13th

For those teams looking to escape the drop.

PR 18th (20th) PL 12th - Wolves

There are very few things in life, let alone sports that will shock me any more, but if Big Mick keeps Wolves up then I will have seen everything........ Well apart from a limo that turns in to a plane or a man eating his own head..... Derka derka......

Even though I'm writing it I still don't believe it but might there be a chance that Mick keeps Wolves up? Bryan Robson managed to break the "Bottom at Christmas" curse a few years ago with West Brom, so why not Mick? I've got a gut feeling we might see a miracle this year....... Although my guts have been know to make mistakes...... From time to time.....

PR 17th (14th) PL 17th - Bolton

I've not seen all that much of Bolton so far this season, but what I have seen is BAD and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson song BAD, I mean you are poo BAD!

Better start praying Matty Taylor can win you a few games on his own with his 25 yard + thunderbolts which seem to have vanished since he left Portsmouth.

Side Note - Gary Megson might be the ugliest manager in the Premier League.

PR 16th (15th) PL 15th - Wigan

Wigan are a team that really do confuse me, kind of like the way you see a transvestite and wonder....... Now before you jump to conclusions let me explain - Sometimes Wigan have looked good this season, but then you watch them play like shit and realize they are bad, just like when you realize that that ladyboy has a penis....... OK this is not making much sense but but I know what I'm talking about!

Basically Wigan can look alright but really they should be happy if they survive the drop this season.

PR 15th (18th) PL 11th - Birmingham

I very much like Birmingham's defence........ I very much dislike Birmingham's attack.

Other things I like and dislike -

I like the first Matrix Film - I dislike the 2nd and 3rd Matrix film

I like Cutters Choice rolling tobacco - I dislike Drum rolling tabacco

I like Lady Gaga's ass - I dislike Lady Gaga's face

I like Fifa - I dislike Pro Evo (This has only been the case since they started releasing them on the next gen consoles, before that Pro Evo was king)

I like Black Sambuca - I dislike White Sambuca - Wait, that's a lie...... I love ALL SAMBUCA!!!

PR 14th (17th) PL 9th - Burnley

Burnley strike me as the embodiment of the "No Guts, No Glory" attitude this season. This team it seems likes to go out there and try to win, especially at home where they have a perfect record with Eveton and United no less as scalps.

I recommend watching any Burnley match you get a chance to watch as there will be goals and goals are good as I've already covered!

PR 13th (12th) PL 18th - Blackburn

I think Blackburn have been a tad unlucky so far this season. With the exception of last Sunday's beating against Everton they could easily have won all of their other matches. I expect Fat Sam to turn it around and steer them to a lower mid-table finish....... Although their start to the season has not been all that tough and considering they have not picked up that many points maybe I'm over estimating their chances.

PR 12th (10th) PL 8th - Sunderland

Football can be a funny and cruel game at times. We've just discussed a team (Blackburn) who should have a lot more points then they have and now we get to discuss a team who I'm not sure how they have any points whatsoever! 

Really, Sunderland probably should have lost all their games so far this season (well apart from the Hull match) yet they sit in 8th spot in the league win 9pts to their name. Steve Bruce obviously sucked of Satan for this kind of luck and to be fair, if they can play this bad and still be 8th, then what happens if they start to improve?

The Looking over my Shoulder division 11th - 10th

Those teams who should be safe but should keep an eye out on what's going on behind them.

PR 11th (11th) PL 14th - Fulham

In last months Power Rankings I said I had some questions about Fulham, let's see if we have any answers -

Will Europe effect them?

To early to tell I guess.

Will their defence be as good as last season?

It's not been that bad, but how do you feel this season having Hageland in your fantasy team?

Will Murphy be as good as he was last season?

Does he still play for them?

Fulham will be fine, but that's about all I can say.

PR 10th (13th) PL 10th - Stoke

I love Stoke! There I said it....... Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my mouth!

I'm not really sure why I love Stoke, but then again, you can't question love, you just have to go with it and I'm riding the Potters train all the way to....... Errr.... Wherever it goes I guess?

Side Note - Get Shawcross in to your fantasy team, for whatever reason if Stoke keep a clean sheet (which they will) this guy is getting bonus points!

The your Season ended in August division 10th - 9th

No highs or lows

PR 9th (9th) PL 16th - West Ham

West Ham have thrown away some points this season, Carlton Cole's infamous assist for Jermain "Stop Teasing" Defoe springs to mind.

But overall they are what I expected them to be and I'm sure they will finish somewhere between 9th and 12th.

The Europa League division 8th - 6th

I think you can guess what this means.

PR 8th (8th) PL 5th - Aston Villa

Aston Villa have flown very much under the radar this season. You'd almost feel like they were having a bad season until you realize that they have reeled off four wins on the spin and sit 5th in the league.

They have managed to address some squad depth concerns at the back, but all in all I think the same problems that arose last year will haunt them this time around - What happens when Ashley Young and Agbonlahor start to tire?

PR 7th (6th) PL 13th - Everton

Hello? Everton seem to have found the scoring touch! 11 goals in their last three games is pretty impressive....... OK I know that one of the matches was against Hull in the League Cup and an other was against AEK Athens in the Europa League but still, scoring goals is always a good sign good sign!

Not only have they started scoring, but their leaky defence which hadn't managed a clean sheet all season has no gone 270 minutes without shipping a goal in all competitions and with Pompey, Stoke, Wolves and Bolton on the horizon expect to see the toffees riseup the table pretty quickly.

PR 6th (7th) PL 6th - Tottenham Hotspur

I'm starting to believe that 90% of Spurs fans are Bi-Polar, they either think their team stinks (see last to seasons) or think their team is destined for greatness, there is never any middle ground which makes them quite insufferable to say the least......

As up and down as their fans (and team at times) can be I think they have found a nice balance which is beating teams they should beat and losing to the rest which should see them finish 6th and all in all they should be happy with that as that is their ceiling.

The can we break in to the top four division 5th 

For the one team that might just do it.

PR 5th (5th) PL 4th - Manchester City

I genuinely believe City have a chance at breaking the top four this season, but right now I don't think they will.

They defiantly have goals in them and already have almost as many wins away from home as they had all of last season, but I don't trust that defence as far as I could throw them, thank God for them that they have the best keeper the the land in-between the sticks.

I'm also worried by the fact they have some very combustible players in their team that could derail their season. Robinho I don't think is happy and fancies a chance of scenery, Bellamy is sure to get injured for a extended period of time sooner or later and Adebayor will either a) Get lazy and stop scoring b) Punch a team-mate and cause dressing room disharmony c) Get his legs broken by a football blogger we all know.

The Big Four division 4th - 1st

Same as it ever was.

PR 4th (2nd) PL 3rd - Liverpool

Liverpool arguably have not had the toughest start to the season, yet they have already been beaten twice, which if last season is anything to go by might already be twice too many.

To me they are the same team they were last year just minus Alonso and a few players that one year older (but not in an Arsenal good way). Jamie Carragher has looked terrible so far this season which is a bad sign for the Reds as he seems to be the only Centre-back they have who does not get injured.

On the bright side Yossi and Dirk have started the season in fine form and could ease the burden for Gerrard and Torres, but I just feel that they wilol end up drawing too many games like they usually do.

PR 3rd (4th) PL 7th - Arsenal

I'm sold on Arsenal, I've seen enough for me not to worry about if they will make the top four and here's why -

Both defeats they have had this season for me have been a little unlucky, against both United and City they created more chances just the rub of the green didn't go their way, plus the ref's didn't help their cause either. Also having played City and United away in their first four matches means they have already gotten out of the way two of their four hardest away league games (also don't have to go to Goodison any time soon).

I feel the defence will improve and with Rosicky back and Nasri on the way they have depth, but what I love most of all is the GOALS!!!!! The Gunners are on pace to score 129 goals this season! Now I know that what be the amount they end up on, but they do seem to find it easier to score this season than they have against lesser teams in years gone by, which might well mean some of those frustrating draws that have held the Gunners back will turn in to wins and propel Arsenal in to title challangers.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows though I'm afraid, I'm putting a lot of faith in to that defence improving and with the form Clichy and Almunia are in right now they could both easily lose their place. But for now I'm quite confident the Gunners will be good this season.

PR 2nd (3rd) PL 2nd - Manchester United

Wow, this team just keeps getting it done, even when you don't think they have the personal to do it!

No C-Ron, no Tevez, no worries...... I think Giggs has played better and been more influential so far this season than he was the whole of last year and last year he won the PFA Player of the Year award!

Also I think the world Anti-Doping body should test Darren Fletcher's urine as that guy has been playing about 5X better than I thought possible, he's like some 100m sprinter who's PB was 10.03 and now all of a sudden he's busting 10's every race...... I WANT FLETCHER'S URINE TESTED NOW!!!!!!

If Rooney can keep on scoring and they tighten up a little at the back which I'm sure they will as now Rio is back and Van Der Sar will be soon then they will be there or there about come May. Only problem is that without C-Ron they don't have a league winning team and that means they won't beat.......

PR 1st (1st) PL 1st - Chelsea

Men win leagues and Chelsea have quite a few "Men" in their team. They are strong, they don't concede and they score, hell even Drogba and Anelka have managed to work out how to play together.

This is the football equivalent on Arnie in the Terminator, you can pound them but you won't break them and in the end they will terminate you in cold blood. Don't be surprised if Adebayor does what he did to Van Persie to John Terry and this happens.

I'm not ready to give them the title as we have only played six games, but boy do they look like the team to beat.

One thing I do think they need to change though is the music they play before a home game, scarp "Chelsea, Chelsea" and play this instead, then it really would be all over! 

Hasta la vista, Baby! 

Hi and hello Football fans, it's your old pal Roko the Football Guy, whats going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I've been in a state of limbo these last few days........ As regular readers of the blog will know I quite often moan about lack of sleep or feeling tired (I sleep really poorly). Well since Thursday night I've really been struggling sleepwise and I'm starting to feel like Ed Norton in Fight Club which not a good thing............ Things got so bad that I had to take Monday off work because I was such a zombie I was scared I would start attacking people in my office. Well thankfully I managed to catch some Zzzz last night a feel relatively refreshed today, but I still might start a fight with myself in my bosses office if things continue like this!

Anyway, I'd like to apologise for my lack of activity on the blog over the last week and I;m hoping things will get back to normal now the season is upon us.

Before I get to the Power Ranking I would like to address a few readers questions and other issues -

Darren Wrote: | 10.36BST | Aug 6, 2009

16th - Hull

I would be quite happy to see the Tiger go down as long as they have Phil Orange in charge, unfortunately I think they might survive and that will mean the Tango Man keeps his job.

I could understand Phil's horrid tan a lot more if he said something like this -

"The team plays in Orange, so I shall be Orange too"

One can only hope.

The Looking over my Shoulder divison 15th - 11th

Those teams who should be safe but should keep an eye out on what's going on behind them.

15th - Wigan

Maybe I'm making a big mistake here, but I think Roberto Martinez will do OK.

I've instantly regretted writing that last line.

Martinez could well become this seasons Paul Ince - Good at lower leagues - Poo in the Prem.

Give it a month and I'm sure Wigan will be in the previous section.

14th - Bolton

Bolton will be the team we think they are and what they have been since Megson took over.

Your not going have a lot of fun this year Bolton fans........ But at least you wont go down.

13th - Stoke

Home form, Home Form and some more ......... You guessed it, HOME FORM.

That was the backbone of Stoke City last season and if they can repeat that then they should be fine.

Pullis has turned Stoke in to quite an effective team, might not be pretty to watch but they get the job done.

12th - Blackburn

I expect Fat Sam to keep Blackburn up. I expect Blackburn to be disliked. I expect Blackburn to be dirty.

It will be interesting to see if Benni McCarthy has a bounce back season and I from a personal note will be looking at how well Nikola Kalinic does in his first season in the Premiership.

11th - Fulham

I have a lot of questions about Fulham this season -

Will Europe effect them?

Will their defense be as good as last season?

Will Murphy be as good as he was last season?

I guess I will have to wait and see.

The your Season ended in August division 10th - 9th

No highs or lows

 

10th - Sunderland

I think most regular readers know I quite like Steve Bruce and I will be rooting for him to do well.

I expect him to sort things out at the Stadium of Light and their defenders could be quite good value fantasy wise.

9th - West Ham

West Ham wont have much to shout about this year, they are pretty much the benchmark for 16 out of the 20 teams in the league - Am I better or worse than West Ham

If better than you should have a good season!

West Ham do have to interesting Fantasy Football sleepers in Savio and Jimenez, keep an eye out for those two!

The Europa League division 8th - 5th

I think you can guess what this means

8th - Aston Villa

Villa have lost Martin Laurson and Gareth Barry this off season and have replaced neither.

They have though bought Stuart Downing (out until November) and 19 year old Fabian Delph........... Oh and Habib Beye, always a good idea to buy defenders from a team that went down.

Villa's squad is still to small for my liking and I think the same problems that affected them last year will pop up again.

7th - Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs have made some interesting signing this off season -

Bassong - See Habib Beye.

Peter Crouch - I don't mind Peter Crouch if he is your 3rd choice striker but if he's your first choice where are you going?

If Spurs can get off to a good start (something that's cost their last two managers their jobs) then they should have a good season.

6th - Everton

Moyes did a great job last season without any real strikers. SO now that they have Saha and Blakubu back from injury and Jo for a whole season things should be better right?

Moyes does though have some worries, Fellaini's fitness. Apparently Skreech has lost a lot of weight due to a virus which beg's the question - How much does he weight now? Because he was hardly a heavyweight to start with!

5th - Manchester City

This song is all you need to know about City.

Do I think City's cash will lead to a league title? Yes!

But not this season.

The Big Four division 4th - 1st

Same as it ever was.

4th - Arsenal

Despite my prediction of 4th I do think the Gunners could have a good season but they need a few things to fall in place first -

Better defense

One out of Arshavin, RVP and Eduardo has to score a 20+ goals in the league (hopefully all three)

Might be short of players and Center back and Def-Mid if hit with injuries.

3rd - Manchester United

Unlike me in Fantasy Football Sir Alex will not be getting a fouth league title in a row this season and you can quote me on that!

I don't care what anyone thinks, losing C-Ron is going to be to big of a blow.

They will be there or there abouts but C-Ron has pushed them over the edge in the last couple of seasons and I don't see Rooney, Berba or Owen doing the same.

2nd - Liverpool

Sorry Liverpool fans, make that 20 years without a league title.

They did really well last season and still came short and I think they are weaker now they have lost Alonso.

But still, I would not rule them out and as you can see I think they have a better chance than United which must mean something right?

1st - Chelsea

This is by no means a forgone conclusion. I have questions about Chelsea -

How will the 4-4-2 diamond work?

What happens if Drogba or Anelka miss a lot of the season?

Is Petr Cech even in the top four best keeper in the Premiership anymore?

Is being that one year older going to effect some a few of their key players?

I think on the whole the top four are weaker and right now my money would be on Chelsea but remember it's August............ There's still a lot of football to be played yet.

Take care

Football Guy 

Hi and hello Football fan's it's your old pal Roko the Football Guy, how's it going? I hope all's well wherever you are, things are a lot better in the broom closet here at Football Guy towers, I was hoping to write this yesterday but since I was out until about 3am on St Patrick's day/night I was barely able to wake up, let alone write anything coherent.

Before I go on to anything else I would like to thank and god friend of mine Julian (J-Man) for sorting me out with a ticket for the Arsenal v Hull match, much appreciated....... Also you are welcome for me bailing your ass out in that doubles darts match we had against those two Americans, basically we needed two outer bull's and a bullseye to win and I nailed all three in three darts..... If I didn't have witnesses I would not believe I had done it! So anyway, thanks again J-Man!

Now something happened over the course of the last 30+ hours whilst I was in a semi-coma, Phil Brown and his Assistant Brian Horton accused Cesc Fabresgas of Spitting at Horton in the tunnel after the match. Now Cesc denies that it happened and I would tend to believe him as "innocent until proven guilty" is how the courts work, plus he does not have a track record for doing such things...... On the other hand Phil Brown, one of the accusers said that Wenger didn't shake his hand after either of the two matches earlier in the season yet Arseblogger here proves quite clearly that he was lying.... Hmmmm, so on the one hand we have Cesc who has never done anything like what he is being accused of before in his career and then we have Phil Brown, who whilst accusing one of Arsenal's players for one thing, he goes and lies about the manager on another........ The credibility of Brown as a witness to this incident disappearing faster than cake at a kids birthday party.

Anyway, this is something I want to discuss tonight when I record the Football Guy podcast, which as it stands this week will feature just me! WooHoo, I'm also looking to give the podcast a better name than Football Guy podcast so if you think of any good ones then please let me know!

So without further ado, lets get to this months power rankings

Power Rankings

In The Thick of it 20th - 16th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosy.

This section seems to be getting bigger and bigger each time we visit the Power Rankings! 

* Last months place in brackets

PR 20th (20th) - PL 20th (20th)  WBA

I was going to put West Brom in their own section called "GONE" but I thought that would be mean and having a crap team is bad enough without me singling it out for further ridicule.

I guess mathematically it's not impossible and teams have come back from larger hole's but there just seems to be an air of inevitability about West Brom this season, like we knew they would go down before we thought Stoke or Hull would despite this being that latter two's first times in the Premier League.

At least West Brom fans can console themselves with the fact they are not a historically bad team like a couple of the teams who have finished last in the previous few seasons..... Yes, I'm looking at you Derby.....

PR 19th (19th) - PL 19th (19th) Middlesbrough

Not a lot of change from the bottom two, Boro like West Brom have been stuck in the same position in the league and the power rankings and with game's running out this is not the part of the table to be stuck in.

It's strange but Boro's form has actually been improving over the last five  games. They have managed to pick up six points over that period compared to just one from the five games before that.

I know six points from five games does not sound that great, but when you are down there every point does count and if you scored point like that throughout the course of the season you would amass close to 50 points and be safe every time.

If Boro go down it will be because of the attack, the worst in the league with only 21 in 29 games........ How crap is that? Well I guess when we look who they have upfront are you really that surprised?

PR 18th (16th) - PL 16th (15th) Newcastle

Slightly controversial i know, but I just feel their next four games could kill them. It reads Arsenal(H) Chelsea(H) Stoke(A) Tottenham(A).

Now the really big game there is the Stoke away match, I think if they lose to Arsenal and Chelsea but beat or at least get a point at the Britannia  they should be OK, but to lose three on the spin and the last being to a team you will be battling with to stay up but just be the killer blow for the Toon Army.

PR 17th (18th) - PL 18th (17th) Stoke

This is the first time in a long while Stoke have been out of the bottom three in the Power Rankings and the reason for it is two fold.

On one hand they have picked up a respectable eight points from their last six  games, but more importantly, their next four fixtures are what could easily save them from the drop. It reads Boro(H) West Brom(A) Newcastle(H) Blackburn(H).

Three out of the next four are at home and all the matches are against teams who they are competing against to stay up and will fancy their chances against especially as their at home.

If Stoke can pull nine points from these four games (totally doable) then I think they will be safe!

PR 16th (17th) - PL 17th (16th) Portsmouth

Not really sure what to make of Pompey's form, They only have one loss in their last four games after it seemed they were being beaten every week.

They also have been winning four of their last five league games with 12 minutes.

I think ultimately  they will be safe, I just would not put any money on it what so ever.

Looking over their Shoulder 15th -12th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

PR 15th (12th) - PL 14th (13th) Sunderland

Only one win since the start of February would have me worried if I were a Sunderland fan, although that have scored enough points so far to be just outside the think of it, but none the less looking over their shoulders.

I don;t think Sunderland have played particularly badly over this period, they just have not been winning which I think can change very quickly as long as you don't let it get in to your head.

PR 14th (15th) - PL 15th (18th) Blackburn

Fat San is edging Rovers ever closer to safety and with two home games coming up against West Ham and Spurs (both without much to play for)they could be in a REALLY strong position come April.

The Fat One really does know what he is doing when it comes to this part of the table and I hope after his debacle at Newcastle he has finally realized that this is his place in life.

PR 13th (13th) - PL 13th (11th) Hull

Hull have managed to pick up a massive four points from their last two games which have really given them a big lift as they looked like a team in free fall.

They deservedly got at least a point against Newcastle but really mugged Fulham the Craven Cottage in a match only Fulham could have won, but that's football sometimes and if you don't take your chances you more often than not get punished.

But that three points at the Cottage was big as now instead of being just a point above Stoke and in 17th in the league, they have a four point cushion which is massive down at the bottom when games are starting to run out.

PR 12th (11th) - PL 12th (12th) Bolton

Not much movement form Bolton since last month, stayed the same in the league but dropped one place in the Power Rankings.

I thought they were safe up until their last two games which were both defeats to Stoke and Fulham and now all of a sudden despite still thinking they will be fine, they have had to start peeking over that shoulder again at a battle they thought they had left a while ago.

They do have West Brom and Boro next in the league so they could easily bounce right back to winning ways.

In the Hunt for Europe 11th - 7th 

For those who are looking at a UEFA cup EUROPA League spot but not quite top 4 spot.

(And since now with Arsenal beating Hull in the FA Cup it means that 7th spot in the league will hold a European place.

PR 11th (7th) - PL 10th (13th) Manchester City

Same old same old for City I'm afraid. Very good at home, super poo away.

At Home only United have won more games (12-9) than City and also are the only team with a better home GD than City.

Contrastingly Away City have only won one match and only Stoke and West Brom have picked up less points.

Also bad for City's hopes of getting back in to Europe next season has been Robinho's lack of goals, none in 2009 as yet.

With Bellamy due to come back from injury soon, they will need him and Robinho in top form if they are to be back in Europe next term.

PR 10th (14th) - PL 11th (16th) Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs are unbeaten in their last five league matches and have since the start of the year picked up 15 of 27 points that have been available and it's paid dividends as they have lept up to mid table and could yet get back in to Europe themselves...... That same Europe they fielded a weakened team in and got knocked out of consequently.

It's a bit like last season where Spurs started to play their best stuff from February onwards, shame it takes them six months to warm up.

I'm sure come this summer Spurs fans will be out in force telling us how this is the year they get in the top four and more importantly finish above Arsenal........ Can't wait for the fun!

PR 9th (10th) - PL 9th (9th) Fulham

I was going to put Fulham below Spurs in the Power Rankings after their two defeats on the spin at home but they answered back strongly with their first away win this season at Bolton. Very important three points there as they face United, Liverpool and Manchester City in Manchester in their next three games and I don't see to many points up for grabs there.

All in all they have done a LOT better than I expected this season, but I will still be tipping them to go down next year.

PR 8th (8th) - PL 8th (7th) Wigan

Wigan, kind of like Fulham were being slightly guilty of resting a little on their laurels. They had not won in the league since January 11th but addressed that with a much needed win over Sunderland at the weekend and find themselves just two points of a European spot.

I would like them to do it as I'm a fan of Steve Bruce and think he should get a bigger job as I'm sure he would be up for the task.

PR 7th (9th) - PL 7th (8th) West Ham

Pretty quietly Gianfranco Zola has turned the Hammers in to a good team and at the same time turned Carlton Cole in to a top option for Fantasy Football (apart from the red card the other week).

And he's done all that without really buying anyone showing that the dross they had before (Alan Curbs - Do enough to survive / Alan Pardew - Fucking Shit!) were to blame for the under preforming Hammers.

Side Note - I was wondering if I too could sue the Hammers for emotional distress for making me have to read these bloody headlines everyday.....

Fifth Spot Chasers 

I think you can guess what that means.

PR 6th (6th) - PL 6th (6th) Everton

I wrote back in January that I thought Everton could catch Aston Villa for 5th spot, needless to say I still believe that.

Put a note in your diary for April 12th as Everton travel to Villa Park that Sunday and I think that will tell us a lot more about who is best of the rest.

PR 5th (3rd) - PL 5th (4th) Aston Villa

How quickly things can change in Football, last month Villa were 3rd in the power rankings and now they are barely in 5th spot.

The most annoying thing about this has been the way a lot of Villa fans have been left scratching their head thinking "what went wrong"?

I'll tell you what went wrong and I've been saying it all season long - YOUR SQUAD IS TOO SMALL!!!!!

For so long Villa were playing at a standard above their station and it's finally caught up with them and it really would not surprise me to see Everton finish above them come May.

Fourth Spot

I think you can guess what that means.

PR 4th (5th) - PL 4th (5th) Arsenal

A warm welcome back to the top four for Arsenal,it really didn't look like that would be the case after their 0-0 draw at home to Fulham a few weeks ago.

There seems to be a new found belief in the Arsenal camp with players coming back from injury and a Quarter final and Semi final to boot in the Champions League and FA Cup respectively.

I do see the FA Cup as a very important competition for the Gunners who's young team needs to taste some Silverware soon so they can make that leap to the next level.

It could end up being quite a good season for Arsenal after looking like quite the opposite for so long.

Title Chasers 3rd - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

(I don't really think there is a title race but still, anything can happen)

PR 3rd (2nd) - PL 3rd (2nd) Liverpool

I'm only putting Liverpool 3rd in the Power Rankings and not 2nd because their GD is worse than Chelsea's.

Two massive wins last week against Real Madrid and Manchester United almost had me put them 2nd but hey.... Someone had to be 3rd.

Also good news for the Reds - Rafa signs a new contract.

Can he take Liverpool to league glory like he has in the Champions League? I'm still not sure, but at least he will get the chance.

PR 2nd (4th) - PL 2nd (3rd) Chelsea

If Guus wins either the league or the Champions League with Chelsea does he stay on for next season?

I'm sure Chelsea would make him an offer he can't refuse if that happens.

I personally don't think they will win either but than again who's to say it wont happen.

Now with Essien and Carvalho back and Drogba scoring again they might be best placeced to catch United and stop them in their pursuit of glory.

PR 1st (1st) - PL 1st (1st) Manchester United

I think the Liverpool result was just a blip on their march to the title, but it did expose something that has been a strong point for United all season that all of a sudden is beging to look like a weakness.

It;s their defence, in their last few games teams have been creating chances against them and since C-Ron is in nothing like the form he was in last season it could turn out to be the last problem United need at just this crucial point of the season.

The next couple of games will be important for the Champions and if the reel of 2/3 wins on the spin i'm sure it will be business as usually at Old Traffod.

So that's in folks, I'll be back tomorrow with the Weekend preview and this weeks podcast. I will also be breaking down the Chapions League draw over the weekend for you all

So until then

Take care

Football Guy

OK guy's and gal's (yes, I'm presuming there are some women who read my stuff.....) it's time for February's Power Rankings. This one might prove to be my most controversial one yet (that's not my intention though) with some of you out there disagreeing with my placement of certain teams..... Well, you know what to do if you disagree... No?... LET ME KNOW!

Before we get to that however, I've got a few things to say about last nights Everton v Liverpool match

The Actual Match

You can read a minute by minute account of this peach of a game here by my buddies The SportBoy, who I'm not entirely sure why they don't let me now about when they will be doing minute by minute accounts of games as I would be more than happy to let people know on here before hand?

Anyway, the game was.... How to put this kindly.... Poo. I've seen more creativity in an 18 month old child's nappies. It also seemed to me that neither team really wanted to win this game for the most of it, too be fair to Liverpool it was more Everton's fault, I was really disappointed in them for not really attempting to attack to any real degree until about 10 minutes after Lucas was sent off. Shame on you Everton, do you have no pride? Did you feel like in was an away game? Or are you just not really that good enough a team to attack the away team properly when it's 11v11? You are basically Bolton under Fat Sam and that's nothing to be proud of.

Tony Hibbert

This guy might possibly be the worst Footballer I've seen in the Premiership. I'm sure I've talked about Hibbert before and if not, it was probably because I was trying to blank him out of my mind.

This guy has less technical ability on the ball than a one legged Moose, all he can do is foul and anytime he get in to any sort of advanced position (like near the half way line) and has an opposition player a couple of yards in front of him he will never try to take them on (which I know would be pointless as he is not really a footballer therefore can't do two kick-up's let alone take on a player) instead he will 99% of the time pass it backwards (the 1% is for when he hoofs it forward).

This guy is so bad I've decided (with your help) to create the "Tony Hibbert Hall of Fame". A team of players who are SOOOOO BAD we question wherever we genuinely could do better.

The first player to be inducted in to the "Tony Hibbert Hall of Fame" is......... (drum roll)...............................

Philippe Senderos

Imagine the right hand side of your defence consisted of Sender's and Hibbert? Would you not shoot yourself straight away? Could that be the two most non-technically gifted players ever to have come in the top four in the Premiership?

I'm 100% sure that AC Milan will be issuing a "Return to Sender" with old Sender's once his loan deal is finished, but the funny thing is, someone half decent will still end up buying him and he will continue to make money from football.

ITV

The only good thing I will say about ITV's coverage last night was that at least they didn't force David Pleat upon us.

Instead we all had to listen to the slightly less annoying Jim Beglin and Clive Tildsley... Or was it Jon Champion? Seriously, they both sound the same and it wouldn't surprise me if it was the same guy and he was cashing in two paychecks from ITV (Idiots TeleVision)as they are so stupid I'm sure someone could get away that.

Finally, after being subjected to 118 minutes of a crap match with crap commentating and the crap play of Tony Hibbert and the fact that my head started hurting from asking myself the question why didn't Rafa start with Ryan Babel and have him run all night at Tony Hibbert, ITV for some unknown reason (unless you are the child of a chimpanzee) they decide to go to an ad break with TWO MINUTES TO GO!...... ARE YOU FU"KING RETARDS YOU SONS OF BI&CHE$. So they cut back to the scene of the Everton players jumping on top of themselves and me betting my dad that the guy who was responsible for making sure the adverts start when they are supposed to is paid double the amount be and him are on. (hopefully not anymore).

Power Rankings

In The Thick of it 20th - 11th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosy.

This section seems to be getting bigger and bigger each time we visit the Power Rankings! 

* Last months place in brackets

PR 20th (20th) - PL 20th (20th)  WBA

A massive point at the weekend against Hull saw them stay within touching distance of safety.

In a crazy season where at the beginning of February any 3 of 10 teams can still easily go down I wont be writing anyone obituary yet, though I still maintain they are favorites to go down.

I do like the signing of Jay Simpson on loan from Arsenal, I think in the 3-4 games he's played so far it's clear to see he has some talent.

Fantasy Football Side Note - Whilst watching Saturday's Arsenal v West Ham game with my buddy Pavel, he joked about another friend of our Tom having Jay Simpson in his Fantasy Team..... Needless to say about five minutes later we found out he had scored... Point of story - Never insult your rivals fantasy players whilst they are playing, you will only succeed in upsetting the Fantasy Gods who can hurt you bad if they want too.

PR 19th (18th) - PL 19th (17th) Middlesbrough

I'm not really sure if I'd have Marlon King over Mido, I am sure however that if my team were entering their 3rd month without a league win I'd be crapping my pants right now.

I still do think Boro have played some decent stuff over this barren period, but I guess that really dose not matter in you go down.

I hope they stay up but until proved otherwise they are my 2nd favorites to go down.

 

PR 18th (19th) - PL 17th (18th) Stoke

So Stoke actually moved up a place in this months Power Rankings, I'd say that's more down to Boro being bad than them being good.

James Beattie seems to be a signing that has already paid some dividends, two goals in his first two games are making the £3.5m man seem like a steal, although I would be tempted to make a bet that he wont score more than three more goals all season or than Henri Camara (who they just got from Wigan) will score more than him.

Stoke's next two games are MASSIVE, Sunderland (a) and Portsmouth (h). Take four points from those two and the Potters might find themselves a touch higher come the March Power Rankings.

PR 17th (14th) - PL 16th (12th) Portsmouth

So in last months power rankings I said -

"I'm willing to give Tony Adams ONE more month to show me he knows what he's doing cos so far it seems like he does not."

Well just like the transfer window, I'm willing to give him a little extension, just to see how these signings turn out.

Let's not forget, Tony has lost through injury and transfer pretty much the whole midfield from last season and has tried to address that with the signings of Basinas and Gekas, now I know neither are world beaters, but I do think they could bring some solidity to a midfield much in need of some.

I've also started to become quite concerned about Tony Adams on a personal level, as this must be the most stress he has been under in quite some time I hope this dose not push him back towards to booze.... Stress can do that too you don't you know!

PR 16th (13th) - PL 15th (14th) Newcastle

Newcastle's league record since Boxing day reads like this - P 6 W 0 D 2 L 4 GS 6 GA 15 - Not the kind of form that's going to see you survive now is it?

I'm also not sure if Kevin Nolan for £4-5m is good value or not as the guy seems to have played his last good game about a year and a half ago, maybe a change of scenery will do him good.

They also lost veteran goalkeeper Shay Given to City, obviously he was fed up being in front of a back four who couldn't defend for $hit, so moving to Manchester City was the logical idea.....

 

PR 15th (17th) - PL 18th (19th) Blackburn

Last month I wrote -

"Now despite my general dislike for Fat Sam, I do however respect that he knows what he's doing in these parts of the league (after all it's not rocket science) and I'm 99% sure he will keep Rovers up."

Since then Fat Sam has won one and draw two of his three league games, add that to that two draw and a win he had before that you'll see their chugging alone at a decent pace, also if they win their game in hand they would fly up to 14th.

Didn't really sign anyone worth shouting about, but I'm still 99% sure he will keep Rovers up.

PR 14th (9th) - PL 16th (16th) Tottenham Hotspur

You know what might just keep Spurs up? Their vastly superior goal difference compared to most of the other teams down there in the relegation dogfight, well that and the £48m Football/Championship manager-esqu spending spree they have just went on.

They seem to have set their sights on rebuilding Martin Jol's Spurs side, only they could have saved themselves a lot of time and effort if they had just kept in together in the first place and been happy with two 5th placed finishes. Tsk Tsk.

Random fact - Spurs spent more money than Manchester City, who are the high rollers now?

PR 13th (11th) - PL 11th (8th) Hull

Hull have finally slipped in to the "In the thick of it" section after spending most of the season in the "looking over the shoulder" part.

I know some of you might think that's a tad harsh since there are nine teams below them but consider this - Hull have lost six of their last seven games with their only point coming at home to West Brom, hardly a good result.

Phil Brown promised to "blow your socks off" with some of his transfer window signings......... Jimmy Bullard and Zinadine Kilbane are hardly anything worth writing home about, in fact it make me think you will be going down all the more.

PR 12th (18th) - PL 13th (15th) Sunderland

Last month a was a little bit worried about Ricky bringing back Michael Chopra from loan at Cardiff, I even questioned if he knew what he was doing, turns out though he knew exactly what he was doing as it was all a ruse to get Cardiff to pay £4m for a player they were getting for free. Good move Ricky, good move!

Unfortunately for Ricky, the previous bloke in charge seemed to have spent all the money so no new transfer signing could be made. Probably better as you would hate to have to pay money for Tel Ben Haim.

 

PR 11th (12th) - PL 12th (11th) Bolton

Was not really much to separate Bolton and Sunderland so I went with who was higher and it was Bolton by +1 goal difference.

Bolton also signed two guy's on loan I'd never heard of, one being Benfica striker Ariza Makukula and the other, Jaap Stam clone Sebastien Puygrenier.

Puygrenier scored on his debut against Spurs at the weekend, Makakula is not fit apparently.

Couple more wins for Bolton and they will probably be the the "Looking over shoulder" section next month.

Speaking of which -

Looking over their Shoulder 10th -8th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

PR 10th (8th) - PL 9th (9th) Fulham

I think Fulham need another 10 more points from their remaining 16 games (they have two games in hand on most teams) to be safe. 39 points should be enough for this season, maybe even a tad lower.

To make sure they get these point they have decided they don't need to spend a penny, instead have load in Derby prospect Giles Barnes and veteran Inter Milan star Olivier Dacourt.

I remember Dacourt scoring a free kick for Leeds against Arsenal at Elland road about 8-9 years and me walking out of the pub and kicking a back of rubbish I didn't realize had glass bottles in it....... Hurt quite bad.

PR 9th (10th) - PL 8th (10th) West Ham

My only real big worry for Hammers fans last month was the fact all we heard was how they were going to lose half their team due to the "Credit Crunch". Well as it turn's out, the only "First Team" player they lost was Craig Bellamy (Lee Bowyer and Matthew Etherington don't count)

I think everyone on the planet like Zola, in fact I think he is so well liked that the UN should use him as a special envoy to the middle east, kind of like Tony Blair but not a prick, they do have a similar smile though despite one being evil.

PR 8th (9th) - PL 7th (7th) Wigan

I don't care what any of you other Arsenal fan's out there think, if Arsene Wenger left tomorrow and Steve Bruce was put in charge I'd have no problems with it.

I'm sure that despite the loss of Heskey and Palacios Wigan's form will not falter. Two impressive draws against two of the top four (Villa and Liverpool) in their last two games makes me think so. Only question mark for me would be the lack of form from Amir Zaki, other than that there in good shape.

Your Season Ended in August 7th - 6th

This is for those teams who will end up in mid table mediocrity, who's fans barring a cup run will have very little to get excited about. Hence, your season ended in August.

PR 7th (8th) - PL 13th (13th) Manchester City

Here's a interesting shopping list -

Nigel de Jong

Wayne Bridge

Craig Bellamy

Shay Given

Total : £47m

Dose not really seem like £47m pounds worth of players does it?

PR 6th (6th) - PL 6th (7th) Everton

Last month Everton were in the "Hunt for Europe" section, I now think they will need an assist from one of the teams above (win a cup) to push that UEFA  Europa Cup spot down.

Side Note - Everton, you are anti football. I had a brief go at them earlier in the column but now I'm telling you. You play a horrible brand of football. Your not Stoke or Bolton or some other little team who would find it extremely difficult to survive any other way. Your a team with a rich history and I know you don;t have loads of money to splash about but still.... Where's your pride?

Fourth Spot Chasers 

I think you can guess what that means.

 

PR 5th (4th) - PL 5th (5th) Arsenal

So after being evolved in one of the more annoying transfer sagas of recent memory, Arsenal finally bought someone, someone who might just bring the needed creativity to help them get in the top four..... Shame he's not played any football in two months.

I've finally dropped Arsenal to 5th in the power rankings as I could no longer deny Villa a place in the top four.

Luckily for Arsenal this isnt the last Power Rankings of the season and they still have plenty of time to make it back in to a champions league spot.

Title Chasers 4th - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

PR 4th (3rd) - PL 3rd (2nd) Chelsea

Chelsea have come crashing down the Power rankings in recent week quite hard. It's not all that long ago they were top of them.

This might be the most controversial move this month but seriously, who's in better form? Who at this point in time looks more likely to finish above of who? 

I'm not saying Chelsea will finish fourth at the end of the season, but neither has them signing Ricardo Quaresma made me feel like things are going to get any better for them.

PR 3rd (5th) - PL 4th (4th) Aston Villa

I guess if Aston Villa come top four Martin O'Neill wins manager of the year right?

Villa picked up just the signing they needed in Emile Heskey and didn't lose anyone either. Now with john Carew back as well their front line looks as good as ever.

I still feel the rest of their squad could fall apart at any second, but since I've been saying this for a while now and it has not happened, maybe i should shut up about it.

PR 2nd (1st) - PL 2nd (1st) Liverpool

So Liverpool's reign at the top of the Power Rankings was a brief as the time they had left to find an equalizer last night.

Lucas is rapidly turning in to Rafa's Alex Song, a player none of the fans know why he is anywhere near the first team yet the manager loves playing him.

Rafa decided that he didn't need anyone to bolster the squad (did he really deiced?). Quite a worrying decision since what happens if the often injured Fernando Torres picks up another hammy strain?

I guess David N'Gog becomes a good Fantasy pickup.

PR 1st (2nd) - PL 1st (3rd) Manchester United

So for the first time this season I'm glad to welcome the greatest, bestest, most super team in the universe ever, better than Batman, Spiderman, Superman and The Hulk combined MANCHESTER UNITED!!!!!

(Bobby Charlton was standing with a gun to my head as I wrote that)

What can I say, they look the most balanced team in the land and the only team without any glaring weaknesses, add that to recent history telling us of good United are after taking the lead after Christmas we might say the title is over.....

But it's not, we all know nothing is decided in Football until the fat lady sings and I can confirm she's still in Dixy Chicken waiting for her family bucket. If I had to put my life on it I'd say it's United's title...... Thank God it's not my life on the line.

Take Care

Football Guy 

Hello one and all, here's wishing you a happy new year. As you may have noticed, I've not posted anything for about nine days or so. "Lazy Bum!" I hear you cry, well not exactly... I've been entertaining four friends from Croatia who were visiting London for the first time and staying at casa del Football Guy. Now, I'm not sure if you have ever tried being a tour guide and drinking partner for seven straight day's before but let me assure you, I didn't have much time for anything else! And besides, all we've had since I last spoke to you all is some silly 3rd round FA Cup ties which, apart from Manchester City's humbling at the hands of Nottingham Forrest, didn't really spring too many surprises.

Football Guy v Mark Lawrenson

Time for a quick recap on how the last round of my ongoing battle with Lawro went. Lawro's predictions here and mine are here.

Last Week

Football Guy - PS 1 CR 7 WR 3

Lawro           - PS 1 CR 6 WR 4

Like I said in my predictions, I wish I had had the balls to go with a draw for the Fulham Chelsea match as I was proved right! Dam my lack of testicles...

Fantasy Football

Quick recap 

Rafa still hate's Fantasy Football, after scoring twice on Boxing Day Robbie Keane was the 3rd most transferred in player for the last round of games, so what does Rafa do? Drops him from Liverpool's 5-1 drubbing of Newcastle. I've said it before about Rafa, you have four definates who if fit Rafa is sure to play (Gerrard, Torres, Carragher and Reina) the rest are select at your own risk.

Did you know that since Fat Sam has taken over at Blackburn, Jason Roberts has scored 24 points in those three games? To put that in to context, it took Roberts the previous 17 weeks to amass 31 points. Maybe J-Rob should be on your January sales shopping list.

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence

1. Steven Gerrard - 18pts 

 

Stevie G has been on a right tear up over the last 5 weeks where he has managed to score 55 points at an average of 11 per week. That's the kind of form we've come to expect from C-Ron over the last couple of seasons and it's by far Gerrard's best spell of the year. Is it time to sell Ronaldo and go with a Gerrard+Lampard combo? I wouldn't give it the green light just yet, but if I were over 100 points behind the leader of my league I'd be seriously considering it.

Power Rankings

In The Thick of it 20th - 12th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosey.

This section seems to be getting bigger and bigger each time we visit the Power Rankings!

PR 20th (20th) - PL 20th (20th)  WBA

You know what happens when your bottom at Christmas right? You go down, apart from that one time West Brom managed it... You'd think that anything Brian Robson can do as a manager most people can do better but yet somehow 15 other managers have tried and failed in the Premiership era where Captain Marvel has succeeded... Don't worry Baggies, if the Homer Simpson of Management could save you I'm sure Tony Mowbury must have some chance right?

PR 19th (16th) - PL 18th (12th) Stoke

I'm not sure I've disliked a team more for pure Footballing reasons than I have this Stoke side. Even the evil old Bolton teams than Fat Sam created had a bit of skill and flair. Unfortunately not this Stoke side who are basically a Championship side on steroids. They will push, shove, bruise and foul you for 90 minutes and then some. That's not how football is meant to be played and I think they are the only side at the moment who plays without any flair in the Premier League (unless you count 50 yard throws).

PR 18th (11th) - PL 17th (8th) Middlesbrough

The last time I did the Power Rankings was the 14th of November, the last time Boro won a league game was the 9th of November. That's Eight games without a league win and that's why they have slipped from 11th to 18th in the Power Rankings. Their big problem over these eight games has been goals, they have only managed Four of them over this poor run and is definitely something Southgate needs to address and fast!

PR 17th (12th) - PL 19th (15th) Blackburn

I do remember writing last time I did a Power Rankings -

"It's strange to think that the team with currently the worst defence is not bottom of the league"

Well we all know what happened after that comment and (thankfully for Blackburn) had Paul Ince still been in charge I'm sure they would be bottom of the league right now. Now despite my general dislike for Fat Sam, I do however respect that he knows what he's doing in these parts of the league (after all it's not rocket science) and I'm 99% sure he will keep Rovers up.

PR 16th (9th) - PL 16th (16th) Tottenham Hotspur

It seems I may have been a tad generous in my placement of Tottenham last time round. Not only did I have them 9th but also in the "Hunt for Europe" section... Well when your wrong you say your wrong and I was most definitely wrong and am very angry at myself for it.

Question - What happened to high scoring, fun Tottenham from last season? They managed to score Four in One trip to the Emirates yet from Ten home games they have only manged Seven poxy goals. Last season there were a whopping 80 goals scored at White Hart Lane which was by far the most and worked out to a massive 4.2 goals per game, this season WHL is on pace for 25 goals... If your going to be crap, at least be entertaining!

PR 15th (18th) - PL 15th (19th) Sunderland

Maybe Ricky Sbragia should not have taken the job permanently as his first game after taking the post full time was also his first loss. More worryingly for the Mackems is the fact Ricky seems to think Micheal Chopra is a Premiership player! And here's us thinking he knew what he was doing. 

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and allow him the chance to show what he's made of, decent stuff so far.

PR 14th (7th) - PL 12th (9th) Portsmouth

Pompey are very lucky to be this high in the Power Rankings and now thinking about it, should be a lot lower. Thankfully for them I'm willing to give Tony Adams ONE more month to show me he knows what he's doing cos so far it seems like he does not.

One win in their last Eight games is a good way to get yourself relegated and to make matters worse, your star striker Jermain Defoe has apparently received death threats from your own fans... I bet it was this guy, he's always looked like a creep to me.

(BTW - If I wanted to leave a club and not look like the bad guy, I too would say the fan's had threatened to kill me)

PR 13th (17th) - PL 14th (18th) Newcastle

So hold on a minute, is Michael Owen staying or going? He owes them another year right?

But wait just a second, is Shay Given Staying or Going? Newcastle owe him the chance to leave and play for a club with real chance to win something right?

hey, how about Mike Ashley, selling or staying? He owes the Newcastle fans a proper owner who does not take the club he want to sell off the market just because nobody is stupid enough to pay what he paid for the club right?

Newcastle - Where nothing is straight forward.

PR 12th (14th) - PL 11th (11th) Bolton

Have you ever noticed how crap Bolton's badge is, it kind of reminds me a little of this badge.

Quirky stat about Bolton - No score draws this season.

Their next two games are tough, Arsenal away, Manchester United home, but after that they have a run nine games stretching till April that I'm sure they will feel they can win and I think they should pick up enough points over that period to see themselves safe for another year.

Looking over their Shoulder 12th -10th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

PR 11th (10th) - PL 8th (6th) Hull

The Tigers have now lost three straight in the league which equals their worst run this season. The problem is their next two games are Everton away and Arsenal at home, which could easily see them end up with a five game losing streak and them slip further down the table.

Having said that I still think Hull will be OK this season, but I do think they will end up closer to the drop than most people think.

PR 10th (15th) - PL 10th (14th) West Ham

I probably should have put the Hammers further down the list as they are likely to lose quite a few key players during January.

Mind you, if they can keep them they'll most like finish where they stand now, somewhere in mid-table.

Question - Is Gianfranco Zola the most universally like ex-Chelsea player ever?

PR 9th (19th) - PL 7th (17th) Wigan

Back in November when Wigan were 17th in the League I wrote -

"I don't get why Wigan are not getting more points. Thay have some very good players in Zaki, Heskey and Valencia yet can't seem to win games thay should"

I'll be honest people, it feel good to be right, especially with a team you would like to see do well. I've said before that I like Steve Bruce as a manager, I just hope he can keep a hold of his key players until the end of the season and build from there.

PR 8th (13th) - PL 9th (10th) Fulham

Forget Hull, Fulham have supprised me the most this season. I was sure they were going down, didn't see any other secnario and yet here they are 9th in the League with a by FAR better defensive record than either Arsenal or Aston Villa.

I'm not going to go as far as to say they are safe just yet, but by next months Power Rankings they could be.

Your Season Ended in August

This is for those teams who will end up in mid table mediocrity, who's fans barring a cup run will have very little to get excited about. Hence, your season ended in August.

PR 7th (8th) - PL 13th (13th) Manchester City

Slightly controversial I know given their current form a League position but seriously, who really believes City will go down?

I'm sure if I gave you the choice between backing City to go down for £1m or them finish at least 10 points clear of relegation for £10k you chose the second option right? If I'm wrong you are a bigger fool than I.

Question - How did Wayne Bridge become more expensive over the last five year despite warming Chelsea's bench for most of them?

That was a question asked of me by one of my buddies from the SportBoys, if you've never read there stuff be sure to check it out.

In the Hunt for Europe 6th 

For those who are looking at a UEFA cup spot but not quite top 4 spot.

PR 6th (6th) - PL 6th (7th) Everton

Do I believe Aston Villa can break into the top four? Yes. Do I also believe Everton can finish above Villa? Yes.

Everton can for me most certainly catch Villa and come 5th, but to do so their going to need some more fire power up front as Cahill, Arteta and Lescott can't do it all.

Hopefully Saha will be back soon (and then injured again) which will help easy the pressure on their beleaguered strike force.

Fourth Spot Chasers  4th

I think you can guess what that means.

PR 5th (5th) - PL 4th (5th) Aston Villa

Had Villa taken their chance on Boxing Day, beaten Arsenal and gone six point clear of them instead of snatching a late point and being only three points ahead I would have bumped them up one place in the Power Rankings.

Alas for them they stay fifth for now, but that could all change soon enough as they have a pretty favorable run of fixtures coming up that, if they seriously think they can get 4th spot they have to win.

PR 4th (4th) - PL 5th (3rd) Arsenal  

The Arsenal Transfer Funds Mystery -

28/11/2008 - Arsenal have money to spend

02/01/2009 - Arsenal have "no" money to spend

Question - What happened in those 34 days? Peter Hill-Wood + Gala Casino = no transfer funds

Title Chasers 3rd - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

PR 3rd (1st) - PL 2nd (1st) Chelsea

So for the first time this season Chelsea drop from the top spot down to 3rd.

There's only so many time's you can slip up at home and get away with it, since the last Power Rankings were published Chelsea have managed just one home league win from four matches.

Also in store for them in the second half of the season are trips to Villa Park, The Emirates, Anfield and this weekends trip to Old Trafford. That's a lot of potential dropped points right there.

PR 2nd (3rd) - PL 3rd (4th) Manchester United

I've been scratching my head wondering what the hell is up with United attack? Then I realized... Nothing! It's the same as it was last year apart from the fact C-Ron is not bailing them out each week and on pace to score 256 goals in the season.

In fact C-Ron's influence on the United attack is so great that in the six league games he has gone without scoring united have failed to score more than one in all of them and the last three times United managed to score more than one goal in a league match C-Ron scored at least two goals in each of them.

Question - How good are United without Ronaldo scoring every week? Not as good as we thought!

PR 1st (2nd) - PL 1st (2nd) Liverpool

Hopefully now that I've finally put Liverpool atop the Power Rankings all the threats of burglary from scousers will stop.

Fair play to Liverpool who have managed to open up a three point gap at the top of the League despite having one of the worlds best strikers out for big chunks of the season so far.

Now with Torres seemingly back, Liverpool need to take full advantage and press on in their pursuit of their first title in 19 years.

Final Thought

Three of the last four teams top of the league at Christmas have gone on to win the League. The one that failed was last season Arsenal, I shall no proceed to set myself on fire...

Take care

Football Guy 

Hello all, were back with this months Power Rankings and to be honest, its been pretty tough to sort the wheat from the chaff. Did you know that only SEVEN teams in the Premiership have positive goal differences? Or that Fulham have a better home record than Chelsea? It really is a strange old season outside the top four and I hope I will be able to make some sense of it all for you. But before we get on to that I have a few thought to share with you all.

1. Drogba

By now I'm sure you have all heard about Didier Drogba's coin throwing incident. Now it seem to me that people are going slightly over the top here, none more so than this hack from the the Telegraph.

Now I know that Drogba is not the most liked fellow in the land and I've never ever thought about defending him but hold on sec, the way he is being vilified here is beyond belief. Yes he was wrong to throw ONE coin back at a crowd who pelted many more at him. How is this fair to condemn Drogba for this (people will say it could have injured someone - well they bloody well could have injured Drogba) at yet not the Burnley fans? Why are the Police investigating Drogba's part in the incident and now any of the Burnley fans who pelted him with objects? This reminds me of the time when John Prescott was hit with an egg (with could not hurt him - other than his pride) and reacted buy punching the guy in the face (which certainly did hurt him) and the public and media reaction was completely opposite, Prezza was praised for what he did. But how is that any different? Maybe what Drogba should of done was climb in to the crowd and start laying people out and the media might have reacted in a more positive light. I'm sure if Drogba had done that it would have been the Burnley fans arrested and not him, just like the farmer who got punched in the face by Prescott.

2. Arsenal's Youth Team

They seem to have a good track record in the last few season of dispatching teams which the first team has problems with. Lets take Wigan for example. Arsenal beat them comfortably on Wednesday night at the Emirates, yet last season in the league Arsenal scarped a 2-0 victory with goals in the last 10mins for Gallas and some player who used to play for the Gunners called Tomas Rosicky and the season before that (a game I was at) again scored two late goals to win 2-1. Now this bring me to the question - Why does Arsene not play the team he played on Wednesday in the league since thay seem to be able to beat these types of teams pretty easily? I'm not saying he should but I think he should at least consider it as they seem to be doing a pretty good job at dispatching teams the first team has problems with. I guess it's like the question - Why if a team has a free kick by the corner flag the defending team will but at least a one man wall there but if its a corner they wont. Someone answer this for me.

3. David Pleat v Ron Atkinson

Why does David Pleat (a horrible commentator) still have a job when Big Ron does not. Yes I know Big Ron made a racist remark after that Chelsea Monaco game a few years ago and rightly was stripped of his job but at least what he did was not illegal! David Pleat was twice caught curb crawling (which is illegal) and still has one and lets me fair, no one like's it when Pleat is commentating on their games. The BBC fired Angus Deayton for his Romp with a hooker and cocaine binge and has suspended Jonothan Ross and Russell Brand for prank phone calls, why can't ITV fire David Pleat?

Power Rankings

Right enough of my thought and on to the matter at hand, sorting out the glorious mess that is "The Premier League". Last month positions will be in brackets

In The Thick of it 20th - 13th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosey.

PR 20th (15th) - PL 20th (11th)  WBA

In a season were nobody seems to be the clear cut worst team in the league WBA find themselves at the foot of the table and at the Foot of the Power Rankings (someone has to). West Brom have a horrible problem, it that they don't seem to score a lot and don't seem to keep many clean sheets. Add those two together and you have a recipe for disaster. They host Chelsea on Saturday but after that is were they must start picking up some points, they face both Stoke and Wigan away, they need something from both those games if they want to start moving in the right direction. Tony Mowbery is a funny man, he says he wants to bring in some players with top flight experience,well you had one this summer, his name was Kevin Philips and he might have helped with your lack of goals problem. That decision still annoys me, why let KP go? I hope West Brom go down because of it.

PR 19th (14th) - PL 17th (14th) Wigan

I don't get why Wigan are not getting more points. Thay have some very good players in Zaki, Heskey and Valencia yet can't seem to win games thay should. Then I remember that they are in the Craps Shoot Club (so don't bet on their games) and they have yet to win a game if Amir Zaki has not scored. Four points from their last six games does not sound too bad but when you think that three of them were won in a game they had no business to win against Portsmouth it dosent paint a pretty picture, also failing to beat Stoke at home was a big blow. Their last good performance was against Manchester City a big SEVEN games ago. Steve Bruce needs to sort things out or they will be in for a long winter.

PR 18th (12th) - PL 19th (12th) Sunderland

In last months Power Rankings Sunderland were in the "Looking Over your shoulder" section and I wrote -

"I do however believe the next time we do the Power Rankings next month Sunderland might well be in the section above this".

I was wrong. I should have said they were going to be in the section below this. Sunderland just don't seem right. The good news for them is that Kenwyne Jones is back and I think he could steady the ship. God knows it won't be Roy Keane who seems to not get any critisim thrown his way about the amounts money he has spent on average/poor players.

PR 17th (17th) - PL 18th (19th) Newcastle

I have been saying for a couple of weeks that I believe that Newcastle are playing better and improving, They just don't seem to be going anywhere........ At least they don't seem to be in the news that much which must be a welcome relief for the Toon Army who's club was reaching levels of media coverage that only Britney Spear or Amy Winehouse receive (see Joe Kinner press conference). The good news for the Geordie's is that if they continue climbing the league at this pace (one place a month) they will be in 12th come may and I think Newcastle fans will have something to build on for next season.

PR 16th (19th) - PL 12th (18th) Stoke

Good win over Arsenal, Good point at Wigan, No good football to be seen anywhere. That sums up Stoke. Launching throw ins from 40 yards in to the box does not constitute good football. On the other hand Rory Delap is a good player to pick up in Fantasy Football, He is cheap, gets you a few points here and there and enables you to spend more more on the likes of C-Ron and Lampard. Stole are a Championship team and they probably will be next season.

PR 15th (10th) - PL 14th (8th) West Ham

West Ham seem to play well and lose. Horrible combo. They had 3 points in the plam of their hand against Everton at home last weekend and blew it. At least they are entertaining to watch, there have been 44 goals scored in their 12 Premier League games this season which works out to 3.6 a game! Bare that in mind next time you put a bet on the amount of goals in a West Ham match, I wish I had before predicting a 0-0 draw for their game last week.

PR 14th (16th) - PL 11th (15th) Bolton

Have ad two good back to back wins which have propelled them up to 11th in the league but don't be fooled, Jussi Jaaskelainen's heroics last weekend saved them from what should have been a pounding from Hull and if they had lost that they would have been 19th. Bolton's big problems lie in the fact that they have no one to rely on for goals. Other than Kevin Daives who has four (and probably won't break in to double digits) no one else has more than two. - FF Side Note - 11pts from Jussi last weekend, great hall! he is not that bad a keeper for fantasy proposes due to him always making saves which count towards points.

PR 13th (18th) - PL 10th (16th) Fulham

Fulham seem to be getting the right results against the teams they have to I.E. the teams who are going to be fighting to stay up. They have beaten Newcastle, Bolton and Wigan with a draw against Sunderland, the only poor result there was the defeat at West Brom (point would have been good) if they keep doing that they should survive, but not by much.

Looking over their Shoulder 12th -10th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

This section is a  lot smaller this month as there are so many teams who are as bad as each other below them.

PR 12th (9th) - PL 15th (9th) Blackburn

It's strange to think that the team with currently the worst defence is not bottom of the league, even stranger some might say why I have not included them in the "In the thick of it" section. The reason belong is that I believe Blackburn's defense will improve and as long as all their strike force dose not die they should do enough to stay out of a relegation fight. My big question with Blackburn is, what ever happend to Morten Gamst Pedersen? Remember when he was a Fantasy Football stud? scoring and creating goals every week? Maybe this is really what he is about and those season past were a fluke.

PR 11th (13th) - PL 8th (13th) Middlesbrough

I like Boro this season, I like the way they play, I like their goalkeeper Turnbull for Fantasy Football and I even like Garath Southgate who does not seem to age only get uglier. But seriously, check out a Boro game and you will see that they do play some decent stuff. OK its not like watching Brazil (Alfonso Alves is not Brazilian, more Scandenavian in play. Also why can't we call him "The Fonz" and get him to play in a leather jacket?) but it shows that if you want to you can put together a side who plays football and will survive. Hope I'm proved right as the Premier League needs more teams who do try to play football.

PR 10th (11th) - PR 6th (3rd) Hull

Three defeats in a row for the Tigers! OK two of them were against Manchester United and Chelsea but the defeat to Bolton at home must have hurt. I still beieve Hull will be alright this season but don't fool yourselves in to thinking they will be anything more than mid table. FF Side Note - Remember the other week when I wrote about not bringing in Michael Turner in to your Fantasy side? Well a good friend of mine Pete who is in our league decided to do so anyway.........  This is yet another reason why I will be coming above you Pete at the end of the season!

Your Season Ended in August

This is for those teams who will end up in mid table mediocrity, who's fans barring a cup run will have very little to get excited about. Hence, your season ended in August.

Well as you can see there is NOBODY here this month. Every team in the league is either looking over their shoulder or pushing for Europe or higher. Ladies and Gentlemen...... Your 2008/2009 Premier League season.

In the Hunt for Europe 9th - 5th

For those who are looking at a UEFA cup spot but not quite top 4 spot.

PR 9th (20th) - PL 16th (20th) Tottenham Hotspur

Yes I know some of you out there might feel I'm over reacting to Tottenham's resurgent form and I know they have had more than a little luck in quite a few of these games but the point is they have been winning and if you look at their fixture they are set up nicely until Febuary! which give them plenty of time to erase the 8 point gap between them and Aston Villa who currently occupy 5th spot. FF Side Note -  A lot of Tottenham's players have suddenly become very attractive in the world of Fantasy Football, mainly because their price has dropped since the start of the season. If your looking for a bargain then definitely check out the likes of D-Bent, Modric and Bentley all under valued at the moment. Father/Son Side Note - At the Beginning of the season the Football Dad and I had a another argument  (much like how good Manchester City are) over who was the better keeper, Gomes or Almunia? I sided with Almunia he went with Gomes and after asking him Wednesday night after the Spurs Liverpool match if he still thought so he gave me a very evil look and walked off...... Nuff said.

PR 8th (6th) - PL 13th (10th) Manchester City

A lot of people over reacted to City's new found wealth and their purchases of SWP and Robinho. They are not really any stronger than they were last year and have arguably a worse manager to boot. How they might strengthen in January is another matter but unless the start to improve it might not only be new players coming in in January. I wonder what Sven is up to now?

PR 7th (7th) - PL 9th (7th) Portsmouth

Portsmouth are a team which has been a little unlucky of late but still have what it take's to fight for a European spot. I do feel that Sol is starting to show his age and it might be something Tony Adams needs to address along with getting rid of Kaboul! The only thing that might hold Pompy back is Tony Adams, who until shown otherwise I don't have a lot of faith in. I'm sure Joe Jordan left Pompy to go the Spurs because he feels they have a better chance of finishing higher than Portsmouth. I do hope I'm wrong.

PR 6th (8th) - PL 7th (16th) Everton

Lt Warf a.k.a. Joleon Lescott is back in the goals! Does this mean rush out a bring him back in to your Fantasy Football team? No, he still has a long way to go to get the trust factor back and at £7m+ he is still way over priced. It's a good thing for Everton that Louis Saha seems to have found his scoring touch, fingers crossed all you Toffee fans out there that he does not rediscover his I'm injured touch.

PR 5th (5th) - PL 5th (6th) Aston Villa

I think there is a large percentage of people who agree that Aston Villa are the 5th best team in the league, I am one of them. A tough loss at home to Boro should be only a bump in the road on there march to 5th spot in the league, or is it? At the moment its all Kool and the Gang at Villa Park but they don't want to get in to a habit of dropping points at home to teams they should beat if they want to firmly establish themselves as England's 5th best team. Slight cause for concern for Villa should be the form of Ashley Young who whilst not being terrible has not really been that good either. I do believe however he will pick it up sooner or later and they must also hope John Carew's niggling injuries don't turn in to a serious problem. Other than that they should be fine.

Fourth Spot Chasers  4th

I think you can guess what that means.

There is only one team here and until proven wrong it will stay like that!

PR 4th (4th) - PL 3rd (4th) Arsenal

Their very good win over Manchester United did little to hide the fact they still look like they can concede at any moment and if United had taken some of those good chances that came their way especially in the first half it might have been a very different Saturday lunch time for the Gunners. Having said that I don't think Arsenal are too far away in terms of personel, they are deep in most places and probably need a top class defensive midfielder and a commanding center half to be able to push for the title. If they can stay with in touching distance going in to January and Wenger addresses those areas when the transfer window opens it could be a good new year for the Gunners.

Title Chasers 3rd - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

PR 3rd (3rd) - PL 4th (5th) Manchester United

I still think it's very unfair any team should be able to have Carlos Tevez on the bench week in week out. It's like having a Ferrari parked in you drive way and never driving it because you have other sports cars to have fun with. My point of concern for United Fans would be the form of there defense which looks considerably more shaky than it did last season of late and the fact that they have only managed 1 point from their 3 encounters with the other big four this season. The big thing in United's favour going forward is they have Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool all to play at home which will be key later in the season and still have loads of time to improve. United always seem to do better in the second half of the season when it really matters.

PR 2nd (2nd) - PL 2nd (2nd) Liverpool

If not for those two games against Spurs (one in the league and one in the cup) Liverpool might well have been sitting on top of both the Power Rankings and the League. But both those games exposed weakneses in Liverpool we all though were there before

1. Alot of Liverpool's wins have be come from behinds and they have a real problem for me finishing teams of.

2. The game on Wednesday really exposed Liverpools biggest weakness which is strength in depth. They have about 15 players who are good to play in the first team for extended periods of time, the others I would not fancy relying on in crunch times later on in the season when injuries start to pile on.

They do however enter a good part of the season in terms of fixtures for Liverpool and really need to push on if we are to believe they will end their 19 season title hunt with their 19th title.

PR 1st (1st) - PL 1st (1st) Chelsea

Drogba's on his way back, although will probably face a suspension due to his coin throwing incident Wednesday night. I still feel Chelsea are best equipped to win the league. They have strength in depth which has been shown with them sitting on top of the premiership despite being with out some of their best players and the one thing I really like about Chelsea this season is their ability in the league to put to the sword teams they should. You won't see to many slip ups against the lesser teams in the league. The strangest thing about Chelsea this season has been their Home/Away form, over the last 4 years they have been so dominant at home you began to wonder if they would ever lose. Well this season things have not been son good at the bridge, 3 wins 2 draws and 1 defeat does not look like title form but when you take a look at their away form 6 wins out of 6 with only 1 goal conceded you start to realize why I believe they will be the title winners. Their home form will no doubt improve and if they keep up their away from its going to be tough for anyone to catch them.

Betting

After last week most unimpressive preformce in my betting tip's I have decided to take a week off to power up my engines. I will however leave you with one cheeky bet for the weekend. Aston Villa are unbeaten at the Emirates with 2 draws in the last 2 season and were less than 10 mins away from victories in both back Arsenal v Aston Villa Draw @ 11/4 and see if that run continues

Football Guy 

Hello and welcome.

(in my best Michael Caine voice) "My name is the Football Guy". I think thats all you really need for an introduction because i'm sure you know what this is and why you are here. Just incase.... ITS A FOOTBALL BLOG AND YOU ARE INTRESTED IN READING ABOUT FOOTBALL MIXED WITH POP CULTURE REFERENCE.

Whew, Now that we have got that out of the way. I intended to start this at the beginning of the Premier League season (That would have made sense right?). But due to my other commitments like doubling up as the "Work Guy" and "Ladies Guy"... Wait, that last one dose not sound right. Anyway the point is this has been something i've wanted to do for a long time and am finally getting round to it!

Over the next few week those who read the blog should start to get the running gags that will no doubt develop, look forward to my segments and hopefully find what I write enjoyable (could not think of a joke to insert)

Power Rankings

Right, at the beginning of the season when I originally wanted/should have stared this I would have had a season preview to start things of, make's sense right? As we are already are 8 games in I have decided to do something a little different. It's called Power Rankings and basically what it mean's is despite the old adage "the table does not lie" it does (see Hull 3rd in League). Nobody really believes Hull are the 3rd best team in England, not even Dean Windass. So what I am doing is trying to give the public a better understanding of how the teams really rank.

The best way for you to understand it is by me showing it to you so with out further ado here are the Football Guy's first Power Ranking's of the 08/09 season

In The Thick of it 20th - 15th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosey.

PR 20th - PL 20th Tottenham

There seems to be for whatever reason during summer (maybe its the heat) a time when all Tottenham fans get on their soap box and start to preach how big their club is and how they will knock Arsenal out of the Top 4 and so on and so forth yet it never seems to come, just like a religious group preaching the return of their messaih (see Newcaste) he never seems to show up and there loyal fans realize where it all went wrong like selling the only good thing your club had last season (their attack) and replacing it with a slightly over weight Russian with boat feet. Im sure at some stage Tottenham will get it in to gear and march up the table and by spring end up 11th and then we will all have the pleasure of a long summer listening to how they are a big club and Arsenal better watchout because spurs are on their way to the promised land, at top 4 finish  Mid table finish

PR 19th - PL 18th Stoke

Stoke are lucky that there are two big joke teams below them otherwise they could easily be propping up the table, Unfortunately these two jokes should find their rhythm soon and leave Stoke looking up at us all. On a side note, I did feel for Sorensen almost loosing his sight after the Hutton incident (which when said like that sounds like a government cock up) But atleast Mr Sorensen it was done to you by an opposing player, spare a thought for old Vedran Corluka who in the same of 60 seconds ha his own keeper try to break his ribs and then knee him in the face.

PR 18th - PL 16th Fulham

Fulham got away with one at the weekend after Kerian Richardson had a good goal disallowed for from what I could tell Jimmy Bullard sexually assaulting Chimbonda. They got away with it last year, the jury is out on them doing it again.

PR 17th - PL 19th Newcastle

The perennial joke that is Newcastle seem to be overshadowed  by whats going on with Tottenham, Though they did show signs of life with a good performance against Man City with 10 men. They will need a lot more of those to move up the table any higher.

PR 16th - PL 15th Bolton

Bolton have a massive game away to Tottenham at the weekend which will be a big critical to them as knowbody wants to be the first team Tottenham beat in the league this year

PR 15th - PL 11th WBA

WBA have done rather better so far then I thought they would, still feel they should have kept Kevin Phillips as for those struggling at the foot of the table a man who could get you 10+ prem goals would be valuable.

Looking over their Shoulder 14th -11th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

PR 14th - PL 14th Wigan

I like Steve Bruce and think he will be the main reason the will stay up. The main reason they wont stay up will be determined by how much they will miss Amir Zaki if/when they loose him in January. Fantasy Football side note, Zaki has turned in to the cheap Christiano Ronaldo (C-Ron) by that i mean everyone who has aspirations of winning the Fantasy Football (FF) League has to have C-Ron there despite his Whopping £14.2m price tag and make him Captain 90% of the time, well Zaki is the same but in the sense that he is so cheap and good that everyone has to have him so he cancels himself out if you get what I mean......It make's sense.

PR 13th - PL 13th Middlesborough

Borough are a real enigma. They lose to Liverpool, Sunderland and WBA, all game which over the 90mins they should not have and then beat Wigan away were they should not have then in a fixture they have won twice in recent season they get destroyed by Chelsea. I dont know what to make of this club.

PR 12th -PL 12th Sunderland

If Chimbonda didn't react to Jimmy Bullard playing with his cock Sunderland might have walked away with 3 points insted of just 1. I do however believe the next time we do the Power Rankings next month Sunderland might well be in the section above this.

PR 11th - PL 3rd Hull

The scurge of all London teams (they have beat 4 out of 5 and play Chelsea next week) and this year's Cinderella story (there is always one). I did say to friends at the start of the season I thought Hull would stay up, no way believed they would have 17 points after 8 games which mean they only need another 17 - 23 points to stay up (you would think, right?). FF note, Giovanni could become this season Seb Larsson. You know how last season loads of people had Seb larsson but he was always on their bench so when he scored good points you hardly ever got them because all you first 11 played, well ladies and gentlemen please welcome your 08/09 Seb Larsson.... GIOVANNI!!!!

Your Season Ended in August 10th - 8th

This is for those teams who will end up in mid talbe mediocrity, who's fans barring a cup run will have very little to get excited about. Hence, your season ended in August

PR 10th - PL 8th West Ham

Unless they are really hit bad by the fall of the Icelandic banking sector (who knew they had one till now?) don't expect much movement from West Ham other then maybe dropping in to the "Looking over shoulder" section in a couple of months. Also has there ever been assembled a team with more crippled players than West Ham? All they need now is the perma cripple Thomas Rosicky and possibly Stephen Hawkins as manager to for me to officially call them Cripple FC.

PR 9th - PL 9th Blackburn

Other than game's in which your team has played them, I challenge anyone to tell me something of intrest from a Blackburn game this season.............. Ladies and Gentlemen your patron saint of "Your season ended in August"

PR 8th - PL 16th Everton

This was the team I had most trouble putting somewhere, I think for the most part they have been poor this season and Moyes is due for a poor season ala some of his early seasons in charge. I feel they will get better but im not sure when. FF note, For all those out there who never got Lescott in their FF team over the past 2 seasons, isnt it just great him not having scored this season. No more checking the everton score hoping Arteta or Cahill had done something only to find that old Kilngon head had ruined your chances of winning your leagues manager of the month, ahhh good times.

 

In the Hunt for europe 7th - 6th

For those who are looking at a Uefa cup spot but not quite top 4 spot.

PR 7th - PL 7th Portsmouth

I thought they sold Sully Muntari rather cheaply at £12m and then thought it was even more cheap not to replace him. If Defoe and Crouch can keep scoring and their defence improves they should be there or there abouts

PR 6th - PL 10th Manchester City

I am going to do an article in the coming weeks about modern football cliches and commentators always referring to City as "Big Spending City" or "Money Bags City" will definitely be in there. At the moment they are hunting a Uefa cup spot due to their slip ups ala not beating 10 man Newcastle but come January who knows who they will bring in. The only question will be if they are to far back to catch 4th spot.

Fourth Spot Chasers 5th - 4th

I think you can guess what that means.

PR 5th - PL 6th Aston Villa

For the time being I am sold on Aston Villa being a good team. I love Carew, Ashley Young and Abonglahor. I hate £12m for James Milner!!! HOW????? if he is worth £12m then Ashley Young is surley worth £48m as he is at least 4x better than Milner. Side note, do you think Martin O'Neill got married in a tracksuit???

PR 4th - PL 4th Arsenal

Does Arsene Wenger have the easiest job in the world? No silverware for 3 seasons, no title in 4 and have you even heard a sniff of "he might get sacked"? You have more chance of smelling a fart in a hurricane than getting a whiff of those words. For as good as Arsenal are going forward their defense always looks ready to ship one or two in and for that I cant see them as of now challenging for the title but who knows what Arsene might get out of this team and what they can achieve, im just a little tired of hearing how they are a young team and they are almost there.

Title Chasers 3rd - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

PR 3rd - PL 5th Manchester United

Sir Alex is chasing Manchesters record equalling 18th title (All Liverpool fans suddenly felt sick). They have got of to a bit of a bumpy start but know with C-Ron back and Master Rooney is "the form of his life" they should get back on track soon enough and depending on how this weekends Chelsea Liverpool game goes they could be 4 points back with a game in hand.

PR 2nd - PL 2nd Liverpool

Could this be their year? Well there are a few tell tale signs that it could. a) Beat United, always a big game (usually a poor game) but they did beat United and beat them deservidly which is always a good sign if you dream of winning the league. b) Have one quite a few games they probably should not have like Borough, Man City and Wigan. All good signs in my book, its hard to win anything if luck goes against you so by that reasoning it should be easier to win with luck on your side right? Anyway this weekends game against Chelsea at the bridge should tell us a bit more about how seriously we should take Liverpools title ambitions. FF note, in the good old days when Robbie Keane was at Tottenham there was a ritual as precise as the Sun coming out in the morning and the moon at night. It was that Robbie Keane would not score for 4,5,6,7 games then.... usually by why of a penalty would score and then for the next 3,4,5 games you could almost put your house on him scoring. Like Summer follows Spring, like Tottenham never getting in to the top 4 it was that precise. So what does Rafa do (aka FF hater) starts Keane every game untill he scores....... then drops him for the next game! RAFA why do you hate FF players so much? There are 4(Reina, Carra, Gerrad and Torres) usually now maybe 5(Kuyt) players you can rely Rafa to play, the rest is at your own risk.

PR 1st - PL 1st Chelsea

Lets look at it this way, no Drogba(best striker) no Essien(best defensive midfielder) no Carvalho (best defender) yet they are still top and after the weekend could be 3 points clear. They look strong and will only get stronger when there guy come back(or January transfer window) anyway for now they are the team to beat and until I see otherwise they will hold on to the top stop of the Power Rankings.

Well there we go, first one of many out the way. Im looking to have quite a few different segments and a podcast coming soon so keep reading and be good.

Football Guy