Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I'm not in the best of moods to say the least this morning, it's been raining so hard here in London that I'm starting to think I should invest in an Ark plus Arsenal took a whoopin' at the hands of Chelsea which makes me think I should invest in some sort of memory wiping device. I don't particularly like to flap my gums much when in a bad mood (or in this case flap my fingers?) so I'll keep the jibber-jabber to a minimum.

One thing before we start though, I started watching season two of The Wire last night and noticed that Polish/American dock boss Frank Sobotka looks like he's related to Italian/American meat-house worker and brother in law to Rocky Balboa, Paulie....... Apparently he "don't sweat you" either.

Arsenal 0 Chelsea 3

There used to be a time when Arsenal annually wiped their backsides with Cheslea, ahh yes, those were the good old days when 3pts where almost guaranteed and it didn't matter by how much Chelsea were ahead because you knew the Gunners were going to come roaring back............... It's been so long since those day's that I'm starting to believe they never happened.......

Coming from an Arsenal fans point of view I'll say the two overwhelming feeling I have today are embarrassment and dejection.

Embarrassment

Anytime you get a whooping like that it's bad, it's made worse by the fact the team that's doing it to you is not only a local rival, but a team you used to routinely whoop on yourself and have now crushed you at home twice in a row by a three goal margin.......I'm not sure I've ever felt this embarrassed as a football fan, not even when United beat Arsenal 6-1 at Old Trafford.

Dejection

To make matters worse, I don't think Arsenal did very much wrong yesterday, OK we could bemoan missing RvP but ultimately he just one player and a poor excuse if used as a reason for defeat. I think Arsenal gave it their best shot yesterday and were brushed aside with relative ease.

I truly think that Chelsea barely got out of 3rd gear and played well within themselves and still destroyed us and that's what hurts the most, being show quite clearly who's boss!

After the United and City losses I felt that Arsenal had been the better team in both matches, that we were the better side full stop and that things had just gone against us on the day. Yesterday I feel if you had replayed that match 10 times over you get the same result..... Chelsea Win...... What also adds to my feelings of utter dejection is that even if Arsenal had fielded their strongest team and we were given the choice of four Chelsea players who could not play I still think Chelsea would have won the game and that what hurts the most, knowing 100% that a team you hate is THAT MUCH better than you.

Chelsea

What can you say? Only that Chelsea looked pretty good up to this point last season and it all started to fall apart, I guess we can hope for the same but I doubt lightning will strike twice. I feel they are way to powerful physically for Arsenal and it seems teams that can match them for power (Wigan, Villa) can give them a run for their money but right now all my money would be on them lifting the title come May...... or probably earlier.....

Portsmouth 1 Manchester United 4

I guess this was a typical Pompey performance this season, create enough chances to win, lose the match..........

I read a comment during this one on the BBC from a Portsmouth fan who said something on the line off -

"I know we are bottom but I truly believe there are a few worse team than us and we are not all that bad" 

I know where he's coming from, if Pompey had a decent, not good, but decent striker in the team they would probably be a good 2-4 points above the relegation zone and I think that as long as they keep the gap to safety catchable going in to January then a striker purchase durin gthe transfer window might well save their skin.

As for United, it wasn't a vintage display, but it was certainly good enough to beat a team that needs 76 chances to score. Father time Ryan Giggs keeps on proving that against 2nd rate opposition he can still terrorise and along with Rooney was the best United performers on the day.

United now have a pretty good run of fixtures form now until the end of January and will need to take full advantage if they are to push Chelsea all the way this season.

Everton 0 Liverpool 2

This was a strange match for me whilst watching it because despite Everton having the better of the the play and chances overall, after Liverpool took the lead I kept referring to the result as a foregone conclusion in Liverpool favour, much to the chagrin of a Everton fan sitting near me in the pub.

Everton though really only have themselves to blame, they created the chances and should have buried them but as we know, if you don't take your chances they usually come back to haunt you.

It was an important win for Liverpool who took full advantage of all those in the hunt for a Champions league spot slipping up. They go to Blackburn next week before hosting Arsenal the week after, two games they could easily slip up in.

Elsewhere

Spurs deservedly get a point away to Aston Villa who themselves need a right kicking for the manner of which they played after taking the lead, you'd think there was 10 minutes to go once they had scored to take they lead they way they sat back. Anyway, Spurs made them pay and now sit above North London rivals Arsenal in the league, though they have played one game more.

Manchester City proved once again that just because something is expensive it does not make it good. Drawing with Hull was their 7th straight draw and quite possibly their most frustrating. People can talk all they want about how Hull were worthy of their point but ultimately threatened  very little and basically sat back for most of the match.

I have very little to say about the matches involving Blackburn. Stoke, Fulham, Bolton, Wigan, Sunderland, Wolves and Birmingham other than to say they were all pretty dull and combined had less goals than West Ham managed to score against Burnley who also once again proved that as long as your home form is good, it really does not matter what you do away if you want to stay up!

The Football Guy Prediction League

It was a pretty stinking week for most of us and the quicker we move on the better.

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc           1          4         5         20

Jamrock              1          3         6         0 

Lawro                 0          4         6        -20 

Football Guy       0          3         7        -40

SportBoys          0          3         7         -40

Here's the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc        18       55       62       470     

Jamrock          17        55       63       430

Football Guy    10       65       60       350

Lawro              13       55       67       270     

SportBoys        12       54      69       210

Not much action at with the Footy Doc and Jamrock still pretty tight at the top, I've fallen back a bit this week but thankfully both Lawro and the Sportboys didn't fare much better.

Players you wish you had not made captain.

1. Cesc Fabregas          - 1pt
2. Nicolas Anleka           - 2pts
3. Robinho                     - 2pts
4. Emmanuel Adebayor  - 2pts

Players you should have made captain.

1. Ryan Giggs                 - 15pts
2. Didier Drogba             - 12pts
3. Shaun Wright-Phillips - 10pts
4. Dirk Kuyt                    - 8pts

Players you wish you had made captain but never would.

1. Chris Eagles      - 16pts
2. Steven Fletcher - 11pts
3. Paul Scharner    - 11pts
4. Junior Stanislas - 10pts
5. Brett Emerton   - 9pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence.

1. Wayne Rooney "Street Striker" - 17pts

Yep, Master Rooney captain pickers walked in to quite a good week thanks to Ryan Giggs and two penalties....... I suppose he still had to score the penalties right?

The End

Right chums, I've got to dash, got work to do!

Take care,

Football Guy

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! Today, I really mean that, I really DO hope all is well wherever you are because things here at Football Guy towers are not so good.........

I think I'm suffering from winter depression, I say winter depression just because it's been super grey and horrible here in London of late but it well could be regular depression. Yesterday I had shit loads of stuff to do, plus I had to go to work....... Want to guess how that turned out? Well I've still got all the stuff I needed to do left to do plus I didn't go to work....... Instead I stayed in the broom closet here at Football Guy towers all day watching the Discovery Channel and ESPN Classic. It's not that I didn't want to go to work (I actually quit enjoy what I do) or that I was avoiding the work I had to do (Like write this) I just couldn't face it yesterday, I know it's probably hard to understand and sounds like I'm just being lazy, but trust me it's not.

Anyway I'm sorry for the delay in the Monday Hangover, I hope you all understand and I hope you enjoy this belated re-cap of the weekends action.

Spurs 9 Wigan 1

I suppose there were quite a few different matches I could have started with, but none of them had 10 goals in them nine of which were scored by one team!

Due to my utter disgust for the fixture list on Sunday I decided to steer clear of the pub and catch up on some reading and the only time I checked the score of this match was at half-time and that was only because I was more interested in seeing what Blackburn had got up to due to me having David Dunn as my Fantasy Football Captain....... Needless to say I was rather uninspired with Spurs 1-0 lead but I was rather happy to see that Dunn had scored!

Somehow I managed to avoid finding out what the final score had been until I watch MoTD 2 that night and boy was I surprised! They called it highlights but really it was just replays off all the goals and I still can't believe I watched it without knowing what was going to happen, it has to rank up there in my top 10 personal surprises of 2009 right alongside how Spurs managed to score nine goals yet Tom Huddlestone played the whole match and got neither a goal or a assist (he's in my fantasy team)!

The trouble I have with the result is not the fact that Spurs won 9-1, it's that when Spurs win like this they seem to lose all sense of realism and start zealously proclaiming how great Spurs are like some religious fanatic. It also bring fourth comments like - "Fourth place is assured" and "Jermain Defoe is the best striker in the Premiership"

Now the fourth place comment was a "Friend" of mine's status on Facebook and was quite over the top, but most of my Spurs chums had some soft of reference to the top four in their status Sunday evening........ Relax guys, I know you are happy with your win and so you should be, but you do know that you only got three points for it right? It's still November and there's a lot of games still to be played?    

The comment about Jermain should not be mistaken for the one Harry Redknapp made about him being the best English finisher but my counter argument is still the same - 

This season, Jermain is the leagues top goalscorer with 11 goals, Eight of which have come in two games against Wigan and Hull, two of the worst defences in the league. Now if we look at say Darren Bent, he has nine league goals this season scoring those is eight different matches, so even though he has scored to less he has scored in more games, plus three of his goals this season were match winners and not only that but he has scored now against all four of last seasons "Top 4"........ I'd say based on this season Darren Bent and not Jermain Defoe is the better striker, but how about we look back over the last five seasons, in that time -

(Based on league games)

Jermain - Games = 139 - Goals = 52

Darren  -  Games = 137 - Goals = 57

Hmmm that's interesting, that "sack of shit" Darren Bent as Spurs fans call him has a better record..............

Anyway Tottenham fans, don't think I'm trying to rain on your parade, well done for your amazing win, just don't get to carried away like you usually do!

Sunderland 1 Arsenal 0

Is it a bad omen that the first league match RvP misses due to this ankle injury is also the first league match Arsenal failed to score in? Well I'd like to think not!

I'm not going to sit here and make excuses for Arsenal, I will say that I was disappointed with the result of course, but I was not with the performance. Yes I know Arsenal were far from their best but let's not forget that Sunderland did very little for most of the match and this is not a bad team at all, remember they almost beat United at Old Trafford and did beat Liverpool. In fact the only "Top 4" team from last season to beat them so far is Chelsea.

And I guess that's why ultimately I'm not super down on the result, Chelsea are going to win the league baring some sort of meltdown at Stamford Bridge, over the course of 38 games their team is stronger than Arsenal's and really the Gunners are playing for second place. I still think Arsenal will win something this year, but I'm afraid it won't be the league.

As for Sunderland, on a personal note I'm happy at the start they have made as i predicted that Steve Bruce would have this impact on them and it's nice to be right from time to time. I hope they keep it up and push for a Europa League spot for next season!

Manchester United 3 Everton 0

So United go back second in the league thanks to a truly super strike from Darren Fletcher, your not going to see to many balls hit better than this all season and for those of you who have yet to see it check this out - LINK.

United needed the win not only to bounce back after recent defeats to Chelsea and Liverpool but to close an Eight point gap that Chelsea had opened over them earlier in the day. Thankfully for United their opposition were Everton who had only one win in all competitions since September....... Not the best run of form in the world!

Everton tried like so many other teams when they go to Old Trafford to frustrate the Champions and it worked for about 35mins or so until Fletcher broke the deadlock and after that there was really no doubt as to the outcome of the match.

I guess the only down side for United would be the missed chances that fell to Michael Owen, he had two particularly good opportunities that he failed to tuck away, I did like the defence Hansen and Lawro gave him on MoTD about how it does not really matter that he missed the chances because he was making the right runs to get the chances.......... Bull Shit...... I know it's BS because I used the exact same excuse for Eduardo after his misses against Spurs a few weeks back.

Chelsea 4 Wolves 0

At times this really didn't seem like a football match at all but rather a game of "Long Shots" involving Michael Essien and the Wolves keeper Hennessey, I swear the Ghanaian had about nine shots from outside the box, all of which were either a goal, just wide or a fine save from Hennessey.

I think Essien in his two goal must have been trying to make up for the loss of Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard because his first was a head Drogba would have been proud of and his second can only be described as a "Lampard Special" I.E. Deflection......

In all fairness Chelsea really could have won by more, but it's not this performance that has me convinced they are the Champions, it's these three statements -

Chelsea have picked up 33 points from a possible 39! That's just machine form!

10 straight shut-out's at Stamford Bridge! How can you beat a team you can't score against?

Chelsea just won 4-0 coming off the back of the international break with Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, Deco, Michael Ballack and Ricardo Carvalho all unavailable! And Arsenal fee upset at missing RvP???????

Face it, the rest of the league will be looking up at Chelsea until May, and then they will be looking up at Arsenal, because when the season is over Arsenal top the league Alphabetically!

Liverpool 2 Manchester City 2

The first 45 minutes of this match might well have been the worst 45 minutes I have ever seen in the Premiership! I know we live in an age of Hyperbaly but really the first hapf of this match was as bad as I've ever seen. To be fair to the two teams it was a first half disrupted by Liverpool's men of glass breaking, they lost Aggar and Babel to injury, both of whom seemed to take a age to be brought off the field.

I was so bored that I decided to not watch the second half and concentrate on a puddle outside my house that I found more interesting. Unfortunately for me, whilst that puddle had been more interesting than the first half, the second was a whole different beast and sprang in to life when Martin Skrtel turned in Steven Gerrard's free-kick to give them the lead after 50 minutes.

Then for some reason Liverpool decided they didn't really want to attack anymore and City thought "screw this. let's attack." Off came Barry and on came Tevez and eight minutes later City were level when Emmanuel Adebayor headed home from Craig Bellamy's corner.

Stephen Ireland converted from close as Liverpool appealed in vain for offside, gave City a lead they barely deserved, but they were then guilty of a loss of concentration as Yossi Benayoun turned in David Ngog's deflected cross to make sure the points were shared.

It was a result that didn't really help either team in their quest to regain some form and push for fourth place, but then again has provided the casual neutral more fuel for the fire to debate who will come fourth. I for one will steer clear of that for time being and will discus the fourth spot topic when a more appropriate time arrives.

Quirky fact - This was City's sixth straight draw which equalled their top-flight record set in 1913, see, when you spend big you do set records!!!

Elsewhere

Pompey's woes continued as they were shot down 1-0 away to Stoke, they only have five more games to ensure they are not bottom come Christmas Day because we all know what that means......... It means you are getting regulated unless you hire Bryan Robson as manager, but I hear he's busy this year managing some Asian team so your lucks out!

Blackburn beat Bolton in a match I'm pretty sure is a Lancashire derby yet I don't recall it being referred to as that........ It probably is called that but nobody outside Bolton or Blackburn cares!

Burnley proved why a) they are good at home b) don't bet on Villa under any circumstances. With their 1-1 draw against high flying Aston Villa, in other news former goal scorer Emile Heskey apparently scored the equalizer, although nobody is quite sure if he meant it.

Birmingham and Fulham played out the "For the last time Bobby Zamora is fucking poo bowl" at St Andrews. Birmingham won because of a finely taken goal from Lee Bowyer, Fulham lost because they have Bobby Zamora......

Hull and West Ham played out the "Neither of us actually want to win this match bowl" in what might have been the most up and down game of the season. Amazingly both actually went up the table this weekend proving once again that shot does float!

The Football Guy Prediction League

It's back, let's see if anyone's judgement was impaired by the international break!

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportBoys           1          5         4         40

Jamrock              1          5         4         40 

Football Guy       1          5         4         40 

Lawro                 0          5         5           0

Footy Doc           0          5         5           0

Here's the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc        17       51       57       450     

Jamrock          16        52       57       430

Football Guy    10       62       53       390

Lawro              13       51       61       290     

SportBoy         12       51       62       250

So no changes in positions, but Jamrock is now on;y 10pts behind the Footy Doc with me a little further behind.

Players you should have made captain.

1. Aaron Lennon    - 18pts
2. Michael Essien   - 16pts
3. Jimmy Bullard     - 13pts
4. Florent Malouda - 13pts
5. Antonio Valencia -13pts

Players you wish you had made captain but never would.

1. Thomas Sorenson - 14pts
2. Steven Caldwell    - 9pts
3. Ryan Shawcross   - 9pts
4. Brett Emerton       - 9pts
5. Roger Johnson      - 9pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence.

1. Jermain Defoe - 25pts

Amazing that the week I brought back that fantasy section to the Monday Hangover we would have a record breaking week from a player! Well done to Jermain Defoe for setting the highest one match points total I can ever remember seeing, 25 points is going to take some beating!

Winners and Loser

Winners

Jermain Defoe

For scoring five goals in one match!

Tottenham

For scoring nine goals in one match!

Losers

Wigan

For conceding nine goals in one match!

The End

Hope it was worth the wait, I promise there will be a Power ranking this week as well as the usual Friday weekend preview.

Take care

Football Guy 

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! Before we get to this weekends football action I'd like to share some bad news with you, don't worry, it will be followed by two slices of good news........ But then rounded off by some more bad news. Think of it as my "News Sandwich" or "Newswich" if you prefer.

Bad News one -

I have a horrible sore throat which has kept me from doing much this weekend, I think it's a case of tonsillitis and it again reminds me of how annoyed I am that my parents never had them taken out for me. Word of advice to all you parents out there - REMOVE YOUR KIDS TONSILS!!! They will thank you for them in later life,

Good News one -

Last Monday I quit smoking and today marks the first week anniversary of me being smoke free!!! I've got to say that giving up smoking is even easier than I thought it would be (I always thought it would be easy). The only downside is that I'm finding myself spending more money than I normally would on snack food, and if this keeps up my Peter Crouch physique will be replaced with a more Dean Windass look....... Something I'm not to keen on......  

Good News two -

After months of being pestered by friends to start watching it I finally got around to watching the first season of "The Wire." (Five episodes in)

All I've heard about it is how "Original and awesome" the show is, how well written and interesting it is. Well now I've finally started to watch the show (had a lot of spare time this weekend due to sore throat) and I guess that's good news. It also leads me quite nicely on to bad new two..........

Bad News two -

After watching the first five episodes of the wire I can safely say that this is arguably the most overrated show in the history of TV!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's crap or that I don't like it, but please people, lets not pretend that there is anything special about it. How anyone can think this show is original and awesome is beyond me!!

For starters, the shows main cop Jimmy McNulty might be the biggest clichéd character of all time........ Think about it, he's a cop who plays by his own rules, a bit of a maverick, a anti-hero? His boss hates him, he's divorced and has a bit of a drinking problem, his partner is a wisecracking black guy and he wears a leather jacket more than he should......... OMG the guy is a pastiche of every famous tv/film cop I know of, the only things he's missing are a lolly-pop, and a rain-coat for when he's not wearing his leather jacket........ whoever thinks this show is original must not watch a lot of other shows.

As for the overall plot line, it's interesting enough, but again nothing I've not seen before. Maybe I'm being a tad harsh but I've got to say that I was way more impressed with the first five episodes of Lost, Heroes, Mad Men, Prison Break and The Sopranos. Maybe I've spoken too soon and things go "off the scale" super great past episode five, but for now The Wire for me is slightly better than The Shield, which it seems to have ripped off quite a bit.

Arsenal go 2nd after thumping Wolves

It's great that even when you feel that your team is not playing all that well you have utter confidence that they will not only win, but crush the opposition. Well that's how I felt on Saturday evening (as well as pain in my throat). I thought Arsenal were far from their best but it was still way more than Wolves could handle.

You could argue that Arsenal were rather lucky with their first two goals, both OG's, but those are the kind of breaks you get when your playing well. I think the great Golfer Gary Player once said - "The better I play the luckier I get" Or something to that effect and Arsenal are definitely playing well at the moment.

I really think they have what it takes to break their run of Five tropheyless season, but as we all know, you need a bit of luck to win anything and I hope they don't use up all of theirs on beating chump teams like Wolves.

Chelsea beat United to go 5pts clear

OK, so it wasn't quite the "Statement" I had predicted on Friday, in fact it was a pretty poor performance from the Blues, in fact United probably were the better team on the day.......... But Chelsea won.

Yep, everything else really doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter that Wayne Rooney was given offside when through on goal despite the fact Ashley Cole was playing him onside.

It doesn't matter that United should have had a clear penalty when John Terry bundled over Antonio Valencia.

It doesn't matter that United who were the away team had more shots at goal (21-12 in favour of United) or the fact Chelsea failed to win one corner (7-0 to United in corner's)

All that matters is that Chelsea won and are now 5pts clear of Arsenal and United (Arsenal do have a game in hand) and now that their transfer ban has been lifted, I'd expect them to get even stronger come January and that scares me........

Elsewhere

Remember a couple of weeks back when Spurs were mugged by Stoke? Well this weekend it was like watching a repeat of that match....... Only in bizzaro-reverse land! Looking just at the scoreline you'd think Spurs won the match comfortably but under closer inspection you'd find that Sunderland were unlucky not just to get a point, but to win! 

Steve Bruce came out with quite a funny comment -

"since the beach ball incident at Liverpool we've run out of luck and we've been out of luck again today."

Luck can be a funny thing, one minute it's there and the next it's gone, I guess that's why they say class is permanent form is temporary.

Manchester City failed to beat a team that had not picked up a single point away from home this season....... Poo. I'm not sure how Mark Hughes has managed to fly so far under my radar this season but after results like this and comments like the one coming up I feel I'm going to have to be a lot more critical than I have been. Check out this load of BS from Sparky -

"We have to learn to see games out because we have drawn two games at home from winning positions."

Learn to see games out? Oh I'm sorry Mr Hughes, I didn't realize that you were managing a young inexperienced side with tons of potential but still a little wet behind the ears. I was under the impression that you were managing a team that cost over £200m to assemble........ Stop making excuses and start winning games!

Speaking of winning games, both Hull and Blackburn won very important games this weekend and both had to come from behind to do so. Blackburn beat pompey at home and really needed the win to get them out of the bottom three. It didn't start so well for Rovers as they fell behind to a 30 yard strike from Jamie O'Hara. I'm sure it will be included in goal of the month on Match of the Day, but considering it was against Paul "I can save a shot that's struck 20 yards or further away from me" Robinson I think it should be discounted...... Or at least have some sort of asterisk next to it as Paul Robinson is starting to drift in to the Tony Hibbert zone of "Everyday people masquerading as Pro Footballers." Fat Sam made some big changes at half-time, bringing on McCarthy and Roberts......... Amazing that after you bring on two of your best three players that you would start to play better?!?!?! No wonder these managers are paid big bucks to make those kind of decisions....... Anyway those two changed the game in Blackburns favour and dragged Rovers out of the bottom three. Hull's come from behind victory not only got Hull out of the relegation zone for what seems like the first time this season, but also probably kept Phil Golden-Brown his job.......... I'll let you all judge if that's a good thing or a bad thing...........

Aston Villa raped Bolton 5-1, I feel awfully stupid for predicting just a 2-1 win for Villa considering I was talking about how bad Bolton's defence is on Friday....... But hey, I knew Villa would concede!!!

West Ham found a new way to kick their fans in the teeth by losing to Everton at home on Sunday, just when the Hammers faithful thought they were turning the corner they walk right in to another brick wall........ And Everton right now are a pretty poor brick wall. I'm guessing the reason nobody is talking about Zola's job security is because everybody and their dog loves him, but surely that can only last so long?

Oh and finally, there was a football match played in Wigan, apparently both teams scored a goal, the game ended a draw and everybody went home.......... The End.

The Football Guy Prediction League

It was a pretty good week for the top three in the league....... No so much for the bottom two......

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc           1          6         2         70

Jamrock              2         3         4          50 

Football Guy       1          5         3         50 

Lawro                 0          5         4         10

SportBoys           0          4         5        -10

Here's the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc        17       46       52       450     

Jamrock          15        47       53       390

Football Guy    9         57       49       350

Lawro              13       46        56       290     

SportBoy         11       46        58       210

The league table is not looking pretty for the old SportBoys at the moment, but let's not forget that the Footy Doc was bottom of the pile not to long ago........

Winners and Losers

Winners

Arsenal

For scoring Four more goals this weekend taking their total for the season in the league up to 36. They are on pace to score 124 goals this season which is great if you love watching attacking football........ Who doesn't?

Chelsea

Anytime you beat another big four side you have to consider yourselves winners........... Even if you don't deserve too.

Blackburn

For winning a game you had too.

Hull 

Same as above

Tottenham

For winning a match you should have won but were lucky to in the end........ Does that make sense?

John Terry

For getting away with fouling Antonio Valencia in the box, then going on to score the winner......... All in a days work for John Terry, England Captain. 

Losers

Manchester United

Anytime you lose to another big four side you have to consider yourselves losers........... Even if you didn't deserve too.

Mark Hughes

For being a poor manager........ This might become a permanent home for Sparky.

John Terry 

For being a Cunt whose mother is a shoplifter

The End

Take care,

Football Guy

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! It's absolutely F-ING FREEZING here in the broom closet at Football Guy towers and if there's one thing I don't like that's being cold! Boo to being cold! The other thing I can't stand is being tired and unfortunately I feel very tired today....... I blame my job, how dare they expect me to work all day on a Monday?!?!?!?! Asshole's..........

Speaking of asshole's, did anyone notice how many were refereeing matches this weekend? Nine red cards in ten matches........ I blame Halloween, all that fake blood must have left a lasting image in the ref's minds.

So due to the sheer volume I thought I'd help out the FA by setting up my own review panel so we can clear up who was rightly dismissed and who was not.

Degen (Liverpool) watch here

Bad Red.

Yes he was late, but he went in with one leg and his stud were not showing and I'm not sure if he actually even touches Clint Dempsey. Things just keep going wrong for Rafa.

Carragher (Liverpool) watch here

Good Red.

I was beginning to think that Carragher was immune to Red cards after escaping last week for a similar foul on Owen and earlier in the same match on Zamora. Finally though justice prevailed.

Bilyaletdinov (Everton) watch here

Good Red.

Horrible, horrible tackle. Petrov's a lucky boy to still have his leg in one piece. There can be no complaints here.

Cuellar (Aston Villa) watch here

Acceptable Red.

I don't think he has much to complain about for the 2nd yellow he received, but the first was a joke!

Samuel (Bolton) watch here

Good Red.

Last man, striker through on goal, can't complain.

Jones (Sunderland) no video

Good Red.

Some might argue that Ilunga went down very easily, but the rules are if you raise your hands your off and Kenwyn certainly did raise them and pushed Ilunga in the face.

Kovac (West Ham) no video

Harsh Red.

His first yellow was right, the second yellow not so much. Basically it's in the middle of the filed and the ball bounces in front of Kovac who goes to hoof it away, just as he's swinging his leg Darren Bent comes from behind and nicks the ball but Kovac catches him......... I'm sure Kovac had no idea Bent was behind him and I agree it was a foul, but never a second Yellow.

Ferguson (Birmingham) watch here

Good Red.

Barry Ferguson is an idiot....... End off.........

Arsenal thump Spurs in North London Derby

Did you see how Spurs had "done a number" on Arsenal for the first 40 minutes? No? Are you sure? It seemed like that was all the Sky pundits at half-time wanted to talk about. Well it's one thing to "do a number" on someone for 40 minutes, but lets all remember one of the fundamental rules of Football......... It's a 90 minute match........

I don't think Spurs can have much to complain about, they were well and truly outclassed and were probably lucky not to have been beaten by more. I guess they could bemoan their bad luck at not having Modric, Lennon and Defoe, but since their captain Robbie Keane pointed out how much better their bench is than Arsenal's I don't think that excuses is valid.

If Arsenal fans want something to complain about it has to be the fact that they didn't score more. Eduardo was the main culprit ad I'm sure he'd be the first to say his finishing was waaaaaaaaaaay below the standard we've all come to expect of him. Also Arsenal fan's might want to moan at the fact David Bentley escaped without a booking for a really bad challenge on Vermealen, it was very similar to the Bilyaletdinov sending off for Everton and really it should have been punished in the same way.

All in all though I'd say a very good performance from the Gunners, made all the more special when you consider that they were playing with 10 men........ Well 10 + Abu Diaby's corpse......

Chelsea thump Bolton.......... Again

This was the second time in three days that Chelsea faced Bolton, unfortunately for the Trotters it didn't matter that it was a different ground and a different competition, the result was still the same.

It was the kind of performance that reminded me just why I had described them as a machine a month or so ago and why they have to be considered strong favourites for the title.

Bolton very rarely threatened and after J-Lloyd Samuel was dismissed late in the first half this one was all but over.

Chelsea face United and Arsenal in their next three league games, should they win both it might be a long way back for the rest of the title chasers.

Fulham 3-1 Liverpool

It was the Reds fifth defeat of the season in the league and their sixth in their last seven in all competitions........ And to make matters worse, Bobby Zamora scored against them.......... How bad do you have to be to have that fate befall you?

Why are Liverpool struggling? I'll explain it to you very simply -

Small squad + Injuries + Suspensions =

TROUBLE

I still think Phil Brown is the best bet for "next premier league manager to get sacked" but you will get better value for a cheeky bet on Rafa.

United beat poo Blackburn

Now let's be clear about this......... United for me were very average on Saturday evening, Blackburn were poo........ So poo that I expected to see a Blue and White turd in the toilet Saturday night when I came back from the pub!

On the surface things seem like they are going well for United, 2nd in the league, top of their champions league group, but delve a little deeper and you see a team lacking idea's and class in midfield and if they don't buy in January I'll go on record now by saying this team has no chance of winning the league. I'm so sure that without a quality signing or two United can't win the league that if they do, I'll tatoo "United forever" on my chest. You can hold me to that.

The rest

Everton and Villa played out the draw that everyone saw coming......... Except me for some reason?

Pompey got their 2nd win of the season, but failed to move off the bottom of the league thanks to West Ham's draw at Sunderland, a match the Hammer's should have won given the fact they had a two goal lead.

Hull lost again....... Becoming a bit of a trend that? Speaking of trends, Wolves and City drew their 3rd successive league games, good for Wolves....... Bad for City.

The Football Guy Prediction League

After the horror show that was last weeks predictions, things had to get better this week right?

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

Jamrock             1          5         4         40

Lawro                 1         5          4         40 

Footy Doc           2         3          5         40 

SportBoys           0         5         5          0

Football Guy       0         5         5          0

Here's the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc        16       40       50       380     

Jamrock          13        44       49       340

Football Guy    8         52       46       300

Lawro              13       41        52       280     

SportBoy         11       42        53       220

So not a lot of movement in the league table. There is a Premiership match on Wednesday night between West Ham and Villa, I'm not sure if Lawro will pick a result for it, if he does not then neither do we.

Winners and Losers

Winners

Arsenal  

  

  

The end

I will add a Winners and Losers section later today, so until then

take care

Football Guy

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! There is an air of "The Sky is Falling" mentality here in the broom closet at Football Guy towers this Monday. Up until about Six O'Clock on Sunday everything had been going great, I had been out on Friday night for some drinks with a few work buddies and had a blast, Saturday had been a fun relaxing day watching football and making some money on the side playing internet poker and Sunday, the day I was really looking forward to could not have started any better. I watched the great Valentino Rossi win yet another Moto GP title, I watched the Mancs loose to Liverpool and even Manchester City slipped up at home to Fulham. This really were going great.............. Then it all started to unravel......... The universe has a funny way of kicking you in the teeth when things are going well for you........ And Arsenal throwing away a two goal lead was a big kick in the teeth......... The kind of kick that leaves you missing your front teeth and looking like a hill-billy. If that was not bad enough I ended up losing the money I had won the previous night play poker (word to the wise...... Don't play poker when angry....... Only bad can come of it!) And fianlly to cap it all off, the sports team I hate the most outside of football, The New York Yankees got the win the needed last night to send them to the World Series.......... I feel sick, both physically and mentally, I'd like to dig a big whole and bury myself in it for about a week, but since that isn't an option, I might aswell get on with the Monday Hangover!

Stoke mug Spurs

As much as I hate Spurs, I've got to say I feel for them after this loss to Stoke. If the world was fair they would have won this 3-4 nil, but as I've learnt this weekend the world is not always fair and you don't always get what you deserve.

Stoke put on what might well be the finest Rope-a-dope display since Ali v Foreman, taking wave after wave of Spurs attack only to sucker punch their opponents late on and steal the victory......... Actually scrap that analogy, Spurs are no George Foreman and Stoke are certainly no Muhammed Ali. This was more like Frank Bruno v "Bone-crusher" Smith, for those of you who don't remember the fight, Bruno basically battered a fat, slow, talentless lump of a man for 11 rounds and was way ahead on points going in to the 12th. Only needing to survive the round to win Bruno instead went for the KO and ended up himself getting caught on his famously glass chin by a Bone-Crusher haymaker and lost the fight........... Yes that's much better, Spurs, like Bruno always get hyped up but rarely produce and Stoke........ Well you could do a lot worse than compare them to a no-mark boxer named "Bone-Crusher" Smith.

To make matters worse for Spurs they were denied a stonewall pen at the death which basically rubbed salt in a already sore wound.......... Hopefully they will again be disapointed come next Saturday!

Chelsea go back top after crushing Blackburn

It's funny, but at half-time this one didn't really look like being a thrashing, but then again, as all Arsenal fans know after this weekend, Half-Time is only half the battle.

Chelsea did the business and have now scored nine goals in their last two matches, but more importantly for them I think is the return to goals of Frank Lampard. The fat one got two on Saturday to add to his one from midweek and it's a welcome return to the goals for a man we've been accustomed to seeing score plenty from midfield.

On a related note - How bad is Paul Robinson from long range?

I'm beginning to think the guy needs glasses, or a new set of eyes like Tom Cruise got in the Minority Report!

Liverpool get much needed win over United

Rafa got just the tonic he needed after four straight defeats in all competitions....... A victory over rivals United. It's actually their 3rd straight league win over United and in other news also Vidic's 3rd straight match against Liverpool where he has been sent off.

It was a pretty hard fought match and had this game been played between two guys infront of a computer playing Football Manager I think both must have had the "Hard Tackling" BOX CLICKED!

I can't say there was that much "great football" on show, but what the game lacked in class it sure made up in grit and determination and I think that other than the last 10 minutes or so Liverpool were probably the better team.

It was quite funny watching the match surrounded by United fans (only one had a Manchester accent) and hearing them bemoan every foul given against them, the funniest had to be right at the end of the first half when I thought Berbatov fouled Kuyt in the box so badly that it ripped his shirt....... Here's how it played out in the pub -

(Berbatov hauls down Kuyt in box)

Me - PENALTY!!!

Student United fans - FUCK OFF

Me - What?!?!? He pulled him down!

Student United fans - Now way, that's a dive!!!

Me - Oh really? How the FUCK did his shirt get ripped then, that shows just how hard Berba was pulling his shirt!

Student United fans - WHAT (in all seriousness) HE DID IT HIMSELF THE FUCKING CHEAT!!

Me - OK............ Sure he did...........

I'd like to think I've never been so blinded by my passion for my team that I can't see right from wrong.

Speaking of right from wrong, how the hell was Jamie Carragher not sent off for blatantly bundling Michael Owen over went through on goal? Horrible, horrible call from the ref there who all in all I think had a pretty poor game, he booked Berbatov and Evra for practically nothing yet failed to give a penalty to Liverpool when Berbatov ripped Kuyt shirt from pulling it so hard. The only right call he made all game was to send Vidic off for a 2nd yellow. I've still not really made up my mind on the Mascherano  Red, I feel it was a bit harsh but I can't really moan at the ref for producing a 2nd yellow there.

All in all it was a big win for Liverpool and on the balance of play a deserved one too.

Arsenal throw away two points

You must not, can not, will not throw away a two goal halftime lead under any circumstances......... It must not, can not, will not happen again!!! GOT THAT!!!!

Oh boy does writing about this depress me and for the sake of my well being I shall be brief.

Arsenal didn't play all that well in the first half but were still two goals to the good, then the 70th minute rolled around and it all went wrong. Firstly I'm not sure if it was a foul by Diaby for the free kick that lead to the Hammers first goal, at beat I'd have to say it was soft, but regardless, how does Vito Mannone manage to parry that back across goal? It would have been easier to catch it with two hands than parry it back across goal like that. Once that goal went in it was obvious we were going to have a nail-biting finish and West ham should have had a penalty when Scott Parker was tripped by I believe it was William Gallas, for whatever reason the ref didn't give it.......... I believe his fourth official must have spoke to him through his ear-piece telling him he had made a mistake because the only reason I can think off as to why he gave the pen for a foul on Carlton Cole a couple of minutes later was to make up for the earlier error...... Not that that makes it right of course!

Arsenal almost snatched it at the death and would have if RvP's header had gone anywhere else other than right at Rob Green's leg.

I don't really want to think or right about it anymore as it still hurts, the same pain I get when I think back to the time I watch "Solaris" with George Clooney....... Actually, Solaris was worse........

The Football Guy Prediction League

I think as a collective we put in the worst performance of the season this week, everybody's predictions stunk........Well all baring one.......

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc          3          3         4         80

Lawro                0          2         8        -60 

SportBoys          0          2         8        -60 

Jamrock             0          1         9        -80

Football Guy       0         1          9        -80

Here's the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc        14       37       45       340     

Jamrock          12        39       45       300

Football Guy    8         47       41       300

Lawro              12       36        48       240     

SportBoy         11       37        48       220

So the Footy Doc goes from Worst to First in the space of one week!!! Who said football predictions were boring????

The End

Due to time, I can't do the winners and loser section today, but I promise to do some more writing during the week, I think I owe it to ya,

Take care

Football Guy

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! It's been a good weekend here at Football Guy towers to say the least, I've gone 48+ hours without any internet problems, my favourite team smashed six past one of my least favourite team/manager combo's and I'm thoroughly enjoying playing Fifa 10! The bad point of the weekend was that my fantasy team still sucks but that was mainly down to not having Cesc....... When will I realize that our old pal Jamrock is right when he says "Cesc is God"?

In non-footballing matters I had a party to go to on Saturday night which was basically a leaving drink for a good friend of mine called Tracy who is leaving the country to go live in Dubai, so on behalf of the blog - Take care Tracy, you will be missed! Also at that party my buddies the Sportboys and "fantasy king" Amer got to meet the new Football Gal and from what I understand she got a big two thumbs up despite the fact she supports Spurs....... Hey, we all have our flaws........

Chelsea beat Liverpool to go top

In a game of few chances you've got to take what your given and when Glen Johnson and Insua went M.I.A. on the hour mark that was all Chelsea needed to take the lead and bag three big points.

All in all I thought it was quite a tight match with very little between the two side. Liverpool slightly edged the first 45 minutes and might well have had a penalty right on halftime Drogba appeared to pull back Martin Skrtel during a corner..... Actually Appeared isn't the right word, Drogba DID pull back Skrtel and Liverpool should have had a penalty.

Chelsea finally got the breakthrough in the second half, Drogba gets the ball out wide (Johnson trotting back) crosses to the back post where Insua not bothering to follow Anelka's run leaves the Frenchman to tap in from six yards. It was the first real chance of the match and Chelsea took it and that's exactly what you need to do in these types of games.

Liverpool tried to push Chlesea back after the goal but could only muster a few half-chances of their own before Snoop Drog muscled off Jamie C to set up Maluda for the killer goal in injury-time.

I don't think Chelsea particularly played that well yesterday, but as they say, the "Got the job done". As for Liverpool, again this season they have lost to a good team and worryingly for me would be the form of Torres. Now I know that sounds strange considering he is the top goalscorer in the Premiership. But it seems to me that Torres is turning into the type of Striker who destroys poor defending and is kept quite by good defending and considering he's Liverpool main goal threat he really needs to up his game when Liverpool play teams who defend better than Hull.

Liverpool need to bounce back quickly, but with Sunderland away and United at home coming up the bounce might not be as high as they would like.

United steal draw of Sunderland

Football can be a cruel game sometimes and nobody this weekend will agree with that statement more than Anton Ferdinand. Not only does he have to live in his big brother shadow and has a mouth that makes him look like a stroke victim, but he cost Sunderland a historic victory at Old Trafford by trying to block a shot that was going well wide of the post...... Since his mouth also looks like it was drawn on by a Simpsons animator I think the correct phrase is "D'oh." 

It was really a shame for Sunderland not to pick up all three points as they put in by far their best performance of the season. They kept the ball well and hurried a very sluggish looking United side at all times. Very rarely will you see United play a whole match at home without creating a real chance but that's just the kind of performance Sunderland put in to limit the Champions to potshots.

Sunderland's opener was scored by Darren "I look an awful lot like NBA star Lebron James" Bent with a excellent shot in to the bottom corner from just outside the box. I hear some people were blaming Ben Foster for the goal..... BS...... You can blame Foster for a lot this season, but D-Bent's goal is not one of them, the second goal however........... Take a look at it here. Now I'm not a professional goalkeeper and I doubt anyone who is reading this is either, but I think it's quite clear that young Ben should be punching this clear not trying to catch it, I mean if it's that obvious to us how can a man who Fergie tipped to be in the England squad for next summers world cup not know? At this rate Foster's best chance of playing for England in a world cup would be to either a) Pay hitmen to take out every other English Goalkeeper you know off. b) Have a sex-change op and play for the ladies team........ I think even Christy Brown could play for a ladies team.

As you can guess, Sir Alex was less that happy with the Ref Alan Wiley's performance (I guess sending off an opposition player is not enough to please some). He complained that Wiley took too long to book players and was not fit enough to be a ref, harsh words indeed. Now whilst watching the match live I did think to myself that Wiley was taking an age when he decided he would book someone, I know ref's are encouraged to talk to players but Wiley seemed to be giving them life-lessons or something else that needed time to explain. Maybe Wiley had been on the white stuff right before the match and was in a talkative mood? Whatever his reasons were though I have to say I agree with Fergie on this issue (don't think it affected the outcome of the match though). As for calling Wiley's fitness in to question...... How dare you Sir, How dare you! 

Arsenal crush Blackburn

As some of my readers will know, I didn't always watch the Arsenal in the fine establishment called "The Old Red Lion." Back in my youth me and the Sportboys used to watch Arsenal games in a pub called the Pheasant. We had some bad times in there, like watching the 2000 UEFA Cup final, we watched Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink score the winner at Elland Road which ended our title chances in 99, but we also had some great times in there, like watching us beat Chelsea 2-0 in the FA Cup final and winning the league at Old Trafford. All in all the good time certainly out weighed the bad and when on Sunday morning I got a phone call from my old buddy Pat (and by old I mean literally, he's 46!) asking me if I'd like to take a trip down memory lane and watch the Arsenal v Blackburn match in there I jumped at the chance! It was only fitting then for Arsenal to put in the kind of performance I was used to seeing them show when I regularly watched games in there.

I really don't care anymore how bad Arsenal's defending is this season as I believe there isn't a great defence out there at the moment. But what i do love is that Arsenal have plenty of goals in them, six on Sunday and all scored by different players with three coming from outside the box. The Gunners are currently on pace for 129 league goals this season and let me be the first to say that should they come close to hitting that mark I think a title will be on the way!!! Now I don't want to get too carried away but goals equal wins and as we've discussed before, wins are important and so what if you lose a few as long as you stay away from those pesky draws.

Now Arsenal might have had six different goal scorers on Sunday, but one man was involved in five of them, that man is actually not really a man but a god disguised as a man and he goes by the name of Cesc. He can score, he can assist, he can even turn water in to wine. He brings joy to the masses and can make you happier than Hugh Heffner and Bill Gates combined, but he can also be vengeful...... He can bring pain to all those who are stupid enough to not have him in their Fantasy team...... I felt that pain on Sunday and I've seen the light, never again will my fantasy team be without it's God and to appease him I had to make a huge sacrifice Sunday night. I placed upon the alter a huge gift of flesh (Frank Lampard) and BEHOLD!!!! The divine one blessed me with his presence in my fantasy team and even gave me an extra £1.6m to spend....... Forgive me oh Cesc, for I have sinned.

Elsewhere

As predicted by yours-truly, Pompey finally got a win this season by beating Wolves away despite putting in a performance worthy of a Sunday league team. I also warned you not to back Wigan to beat Hull and look what happened, Phil Orange might have saved his job!

I was disgusted to see two of my Croatian brothers salvage a draw for Spurs against Bolton...... Those Croats are dead to me..........

Also drawing this weekend were West Ham and Fulham aswell as Everton and Stoke, I'm not going to lie to you, I have no idea what happened in these matches other than the results and since they were draws they too are dead to me.

On a personal note, the Football Dad missed out on £600 thanks to Newcastle failing to beat Bristol. He did a six team accumulator and had the other five. This is not the first time Newcastle have cost him, about 10 years ago he missed out on £10,000  due to Newcastle conceding a 95 minute equalizer........ Moral of the story..... Don't bet on Newcastle to win ever!

The Football Guy Prediction League

Thankfully the United and Sunderland match finished as a draw, had it not there would have been quite a controversy as I had by accident pick Sunderland to win 2-0 instead of United. Now I'm going to be totally honest with you, had Sunderland held on for the win I still would have marked it down as in incorrect score as I had not picked them to win (well I had but it was a mistake) I wonder would my fellow league members been as generous had United won?

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

Football Guy      2          2         5         30

JamRock            2          2         5         30 

Lawro                2          2         5         30 

Footy Doc          1          4         4         30

SportBoys          0         2          7        -50

Heres the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

JameRock        11       33       31       350     

Football Guy     7        39       29       310

SportBoys        11       30       34       290

Footy Doc         7        32       36       170     

Lawro               6        27       32       130

Horrible week for the Sportboys who lost 80pts to everyone in the league and not only have they lost the lead but have slipped back to 3rd....... Ouch!

Again like last week we have a Monday night match left, but unlike last week where everyone went for a home win, this week win have home win, away win and draw as predictions....... Here's hoping for 2-2!!!

Players you wish you had made captain but never would.

1. Kamil Zayatte      - 12pts
2. Hassan Yebda     - 9pts
3. Stephen Fletcher - 9pts 

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence.

1. Cesc Fabregas - 22pts

What can I say other than I'm sooooooo sorry for not having him in my fantasy team....... But hey, when you have won your private friends league three years on the spin you start to lose interest....... Now I know how all my buddies must have felt watching me kick their asses year after year....... That's right I'm bitter and a sore loser!

Speaking of which.....

Winners and Losers

Winners

Everyone who made Cesc their captain in fantasy football

You are great!

Chelsea

For beating Liverpool and going back top of the league

Arsenal

For having Cesc in their real team

Pompey

For finally winning a match

Hull

For getting a much needed win

Losers

Everyone who had Cesc but did not make him their fantasy Captain

You are loser's. but not as big as these next guys......

Everyone who does not own Cesc in fantasy

Admit you are a fool and move to Sudan...... I've already booked my tickect.

Anton Ferdinand

For being yourself

Kieran Richardson

For getting the most stupid red card of the season

Alan Wiley

For not meeting Sir Alex's strict fitness regime, just ask Wayne Rooney......

Wolves

For losing to Pompey

Football Dad

For backing Newcastle to win

The End

Take care

Football Guy 

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I'm ashamed to say it, but the Football Gal has roped me in to watching X-Factor......... Yes I know...... I'm a loser...... But I did notice one strange this watching the "talent show". Having watched the Fulham v Arsenal match I was surprised to see Eduardo was not in the squad, I had not heard he had picked up a knock? Well as it turns out he had not, but in fact was moonlighting under the name Danyl Johnson and performing that night on X-Factor...... Take a look if you don't believe me LINK!

So let's all hope Arsenal reach the FA Cup final so we can hear a song from Danyl "Dudu" Johnson!

Goals, Goals, Goals.

33 goals this weekend and with City v West Ham to come tonight who knows ow many more we might have! Continuing on the theme I talked about last week "No guts, No glory" was in full swing yet again this weekend with  no match ending as a draw...... I LOVE IT!!!!

Ladyboys beat the machine

That's right, the team I described as a transvestite last week put an end to Chelsea all powerful start to the season and having watched the highlights I'd have to say deservedly so. Chelsea were all over the place at the back and could have well been three down at half-time, they had to settle for just the one though scored by the might Titus Bramble who now strangely has three in his career against the Blues.

Chelsea started off the second half well, getting back on level terms almost immediately thanks to Chris Kirkland failing to hold a Drogba shot. I think anyone who was following the game on Saturday was ready to put the mortgage on Chelsea going on to win the match, but thankfully nobody I know did as a couple of minutes later Wigan were ahead again and this time for good after Cech brought down Hugo Rodallega in the box and was shown a Red Card....... no I have no problem with Cech being dismissed for this, what does piss me off though is that I'm sure next week we will see a goalkeeper do exactly the same thing and stay on the pitch. There really seems to be no rhyme nor reason to when a keeper is dismissed.

Also worryingly for Chelsea (and for my fantasy team) is that Ashley Cole had to be carried off late in the match, don't know as yet how serious it is but it would be a blow to the Blues as Ashley has been in fine form this season.

All in all Wigan deserved the win. Now was this just a blip for the machine? Or is it a sign of things to come? It will be interesting to see how they respond next weekend when Liverpool come to visit.

Speaking of which........

Torres gives Phil Orange the Blues

I've seen a lot of football in my lifetime, very rarely have I seen defending so bad! Don't want to take anything away from Torres but I'm sure if you asked him privately he would tell you he will never score an easier hat-trick in his life...... An Oleole.com back four would have given him a harder time!

It felt like Liverpool had they wanted to could have scored 10 on Saturday and might well have had they not brought off Torres and Gerrard  midway through the second half.

In his post match interview Phil Brown looked a broken man, I imagine that's how the studio executive who commissioned "Show Girls" looked like after it's first weekend at the box-office. I can't see him lasting to Christmas and for Hull sake i hope he goes sooner rather than later as this team is a mess.

United win easy

Stoke away...... Tough game right? Well United didn't seem to think so as they strolled to an easy three points.

Now I know that United didn't actually take the lead until midway through the second half but to be fair, I don't remember under-fire Ben Foster having a save to make, in fact I think the only United player who toughed the ball less than Foster was star striker Wayne Rooney who at times looked like he was not even on the pitch. But United didn't need Master Rooney and put in the kind of efficient performance we've become accustomed to seeing from them over the years.

This win also took United top of the table for the first time this season and with Sunderland, Bolton and Blackburn all on the horizon at home, I don't expect them to be knocked off anytime soon........ Oh, they do have Liverpool at Anfield somewhere in that run too.

Arsenal win ugly

Now a lot of Arsenal fans might be unhappy at the manner of Arsenal's victory Saturday evening, but after going to twice to Manchester and being the better team and losing twice, I'll take playing poorly and winning anyday!

The Gunners have a lot of thanks to give to young goalkeeper Vito Mannone who only in his 4th first team appearance put in a rubberman like performance! I loved it in the post match interview on Match of the Day when asked which of his saves was his favourite he replied -

"The one that hit me in the face, I think it made me a little bit uglier than I already am"

It might have not been said exactly like that but that's basically what he said.... Love it!!

I have to say, despite the wonderful pass for RvP's goal I thought Cesc had as bad a game as I've seen him play in an Arsenal shirt, his passing was all over the place, his corners could not beat the first defender and all in all looked quite grumpy throughout the match.... Apart from when Arsenal scored of course. But seriously, Cesc has looked quite glum this season, I'm not sure if I'm reading too much in to it but I would be nice to see him smile a bit more when on the field.

Elsewhere

Robbie Keane manages to outdo Torres and score four past Burnley who almost defended worse than Hull. Burnley might feel a little aggrieved at having a goal disallowed to make it 1-1for a phantom offside.

Pompey play well yet again, but yet again lose. Highlight of the match for me was Tim Howard's awesome shoulder save to deny Portsmouth a late equaliser, truly a save worthy of any Rubberman!

Bolton get a valuable win away to Birmingham with a stoppage time winner from some Oriental fella who scored after Matty Taylor hit the post from a free kick.

Blackburn also get a big come-from-behind win against in form Villa...... What were you saying Jamrock about me overestimating Rover's chances this season?

Finally, Darren Bent puts in a monster Fantasy Football performance to secure the 3 points for the Black Cats. they made life hard for themselves though after throwing away a two goal lead, but all in all I thought they were the better team.

The Football Guy Prediction League

With yet another high-scoring week it made Perfect scores tough to get, taht does not mean there were none though!

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc          1          6         2         70

Football Guy      0          6         3         30 

Jamrock             0          6         3         30 

SportBoys          0          6         3         30

Lawro                1          3         5         10

Heres the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportsBoys      11       27       27       330    

Jamrock            8        31       26       290

Football Guy     5        36       24       270

Footy Doc         6        27       32       130     

Lawro              4         24       27        90

Well done to the Footy Doc for moving off the bottom, I think we'd all prefer Lawro to be down there!

There is still one match left this weekend - Man City v West Ham. All of us have gone for a home win with 2-0 beind the most popular scoreline.

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence

1. Robbie Keane - 21pts

Considering he scored four goals, 21pts seems kind of low to me, but hey ho, I wish I had had him..... Funny story, my boss at work does not really follow football that much but we are on good terms and talk about our fantasy teams, on Saturday morning he was bemoaning his team thinking they would not do that well....... He had Darren Bent and Robbie Keane (not sure if either was captain) Not to bad huh?

Winners and Losers

Winners

Vito Mannone

For winning this weeks "Rubberman of the week" award for super goalkeeping.

Tim Howard

For pulling off "Rubberman save of the week" for his shoulder effort against Pompey.

Fernanado Torres

For scoring a hat-trick.

Robbie Keane

For scoring a Hat-trick plus one.

Man Utd

For going top of the table.

Wigan

For beating the machine.

Losers

Chelsea

For losing a lot of people money who had them Liverpool and Spurs in a treble.

Bobby Zamora

For winning the Adi Akinbayi award for "How am I a Premiership Striker".

Fulham

For employing Bobby Zamora.

Burnley 

For a horrible defesive performance.

Hull

For making Burnley's defence look good.

The End

Take care

Football Guy

Hi and hello Football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, whats going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I firstly must apologies for the Tuesday Hangover, I was not at Football Guy Towers Sunday night but rather at the Football Gal's rather modest apartment in South London which has a computer Fred Flintstone would be proud of and made writing anything Monday morning impossible.......... But don't worry, I won't make that mistake again and all future Tuesday Hangovers will be down to real Monday Hangovers!

Saturday night was quite a laugh and almost involved a fight between some of my friends I mention in this blog from time to time........ I can't go in to too much detail, but let's just say a rather Drunk Fantasy Football king Amer rocked up to a house warming party thrown by one of the SportBoys with a 15 man posse......... Not a cool move........ I tried to play peace-maker and I had a few harsh words for some of the guilty parties which they didn't like (can't handle the truth I guess) Then I hear them badmouthing me behind my back...... Poor form guys...... Still waiting for an apology which I doubt I'll get but hey, that's what friends are for right?

Twas quite an action packed weekend, so let's get right in to it!

Owen winner in Fergie-Time

There are only a few sure fire things in life, Death, Taxes and Unlimited injury-time at Old Trafford when United need it!

Michael Owen capped off a thrilling Manchester Derby on Sunday scoring the winner almost six minutes in to injury-time when only four were added........ Sounds about right......... Here's my take on the whole thing -

Now the rules of injury-time are that whatever the fourth official put up on his board is what must be added on as a "minimum." Now when Bellamy scored to make it 3-3 in the 90th minute he celebrated for about a minute which should be added on, plus United made a sub in injury-time (I think they brought on Carrick) so time should be added on for that as well so already there should be an extra 1.30 added to the 4 that we had to start with, I guess the ref rounded that up as Owen scored towards the end of the 95th minute. So Owen scored in time that should have been allowed in my opinion......... Here's where I have a problem though, I guarantee that in 19 out of 20 matches where something like this happens the ref blows for full-time just after 94 minutes regardless of celebration time or subs...... I think the ref added on the right amount of time, I'm just sure that he would not have done so had it been anywhere else other than Old Trafford, but hey! Why moan about something that's been happening for 20 years and probably won't change until Sir Alex meet's Sir Bobby in limbo!

I've got to say that for me United deserved the win as City barely left their half in the last 51 minutes of the match and had it not been for "Rubberman" Shay Given City might have lost by a much bigger scoreline......... Speaking of keepers, Ben Foster is not the man I thought he was. I was very excited at the start of the season to see him get a run in the first team at United as I thought it would spell the end for VDS, but as the Footy Doc said - I don't think Edwin can come back quick enough for Sir Alex. Foster has been at fault for quite a few goals so far this season and I'm not surprised I'm having my worst start to a fantasy football season ever when I have that bum in my team!

City obviously have goals in them, but their center-back paring of Toure and Lescott leave little to be desired, £50m down the drain if you ask me!

Super Torres bags 3pts for The Redmen

I had the pleasure of watching this match in the company of the Football Dad and boy did he have a few disparaging remarks to make about the Hammers penalty scorer Diamanti, ranging from "This guy is as good as a one-legged rodent", to, "he is shit"........ I thought both were rather harsh, but Jon Champion did call him an "Italian Ragamuffin" so who am I to judge?

Speaking of Jon Champion comments, rather early in the match Jon pointed out to the viewers that Fernando had had as many "Shiners" or "Blackeyes" this season as he has scored goals (3)........ Should Torres be worried now that he bagged two in this match that his two front teeth will be knocked out in training?

Both of Fernando's goals were class, the first probably being the better as he proceeded to mug off West Ham's young Center halve James Tomkins, then not only did he manage to lift the ball high enough to beat Rob Green at his near post, but induced a tackle from Upson which resulted in the Hammers Captain having to come off due to injury......... That's like banging some guy's missus infront of him then cumming in "his" face....... Well done Fernando!!!....... The winner was just a great header and worthy of winning any match. although we can't forget Ryan "when will Rafa give me a run in the team" Babel cross to set it up..... With his Right foot no less!!!

All in all I found this to be quite a strange game as despite the fact it had five goals in it I found it to be quite boring....... Some people are never happy.......

I was also rather unhappy to see Mr Mayonnaise - Dirk Kuyt - poaching what looked like a Stevie G goal....... MAYONNAISE EATING BASTARD!!!!!      

Chelsea - Unstoppable force!

The last time we saw something crush all before them was just over 2000 years ago when a little town called Rome when on to rule the world....... How fitting that Chelsea would be owned by a man named Roman?!?!

They delt with Spurs like Ike Turner delt with Tina..... Brutally...... Yeah Spurs put up a bit of a fight, I'm sure Tina did at times too, but in the end there was only ever going to be one winner.

I guess it's still to early to say for sure, but right now I don't see anyone stopping them........ Maybe that will change after they actually play someone good. They face Liverpool on October 4th..... Pencil that in to your diary!

Elsewhere

Arsenal crush Wigan and manage to keep a clean sheet! Shock Horror!!!!

Pompey prove that they are poo yet again, not sure Villa will have an easier match this season. Also, is it just me or does Paul Hart look just like your stereotypical "Sunday League" manager? That might explain why they play like a Sunday league team and why there are always loads of Orange peels cut in to triangles in their dressing room at Half-time....... BRING BACK TONY ADAMS!!!

Hull lose to Birmingham at home and it's inspired me to set up a sweepstakes on when Phil Orange will get the sack, I've picked December, the week before Christmas to be exact..... What about you?

Big Mick's Wolves have more points than games played!!!!!! Wait..... Why am I shocked? I picked them to win this weekend!....... Their still going down though.

The Football Guy Prediction League

Awesome weekend for me, I got 9 out of the 10 results!!!! Wish I had put some money on at the bookies!!! Unfortunately I lost two perfect scores in the last couple of minutes due to Cesc and Dave Nugent........ Thanks for nothing you pricks!!!!

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportBoys          3          5         2        120

Football Guy      2          7         1        120

Jamrock             2          6         2        100 

Footy Doc          1          4         5         20

Lawro      --       Don't know where his result are, on his link it's last weeks results, if anyone finds them please contact.

Heres the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportsBoys      11       21       24       300    

Jamrock            8        25       23       260

Football Guy     5        30       21       240

Lawro               3        21        22       80 

Footy Doc         5        21        30       60

So despite still waiting on Lawro's results for this week (at worst will have them on Friday) The Footy Doc is still at the foot of the table...... Good thing there's still a long way to go!

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence

1. Thomas Vermaelen - 19pts

Second time this season that an Arsenal player has won this award...... Although last time out it was Abou Diaby and look what he went on to do the following match.

Winners and Losers

Winners

Sir Alex Ferguson

For having control of peoples perception of time.

Michael Owen

For scoring a goal he can live off for the next 12 months.

Thomas Vermaelen

For being the first good white defender Arsene Wenger has ever bought.

Fernanado Torres

For not getting his fourth black eye of the season.

Birmingham

For once again proving how underrated their defense is.

Losers

Mark Hughes

For spending £50m on Toure and Lescott.

Amer Fatayer

For slipping to 81st in the world in Fantasy Football.

Craig Bellamy

For celebrating for too long.

Amer Fatayer

For bringing a 15 man posse to a house warming party.

Craig Bellamy

For punching a fan whilst he was being held by stewards.

Portsmouth

For keeping a Sunday league manager in charge on a Premiership team.

Paul Hart

For being a Sunday league manager in charge of a Premiership team....... Wait...... That might actually make him a winner?

The End

Take care

Football Guy

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko the Football Guy, whats going down? I hope all is well wherever you are. The broom closet here at Football Guy towers has been under a constant barrage of abuse and heckles due to my average start to the fantasy football season........ I know I should be taking as a sign of respect because these "people" know who to fear, but calling my mother a whore is slightly over the top (Lady of the night would have been better).

Anyway, we'll talk about fantasy and other stuff in a bit. First it's time for football.

 

United turned over by Burnley

Now picture this -

Burnley are playing United, only it's six months earlier........ United 1-0 down, 20 minutes to go. An equalizer does not look like it's coming........... BANG!!!! Ronaldo just thumps one in from 30 yards... 1-1 and United go on to win with 5 minutes to go.

Sound familiar?

Well over the last couple of season that scenario has been played out quite a few times (just replace Burnley).

It's strange but usually I'd have been 100% confident that United would have found a way back with 20 minutes left, but for whatever reason I couldn't see it happening last night.

I'm also wondering whats happened to the media today? After Liverpool lost at WHL on Sunday the reaction from certain part of the press was that of sheer contempt for Liverpool, some going as far as to same The Reds would only achieve a mid table finish........ Fools....... So after Uniteds lackluster win at Home to Birmingham and loss at Turf Moor you'd think they should be inline for some serious bashing from the media?........ NO....... Surely losing at Turf Moor is worse than losing at WHL?.......... Well unless you are an Arsenal fan.

People have talked a lot about Rooney stepping it up now that C-Ron has left, now whilst I'm sure he will up his goal tally, I don't think he's good enough to carry the team when they need him like C-Ron could or how Gerrard can for Liverpool.

Anyway, I'm not writing United off after two games, I'm just saying that the media should maybe question Sir Alex once in a while.....

Liverpool finally score against Stoke

After failing to score in a 180 minutes of football last season against Stoke it took them just four to do so last night.

Good way to bounce back from Sundays loss to Spurs and hopefully silence so of those critics.

Glenn Johnson seems so far to be repaying the £17m Liverpool payed for him this summer. He already has a goal and two assist in two matches and was a awesome choice for captain last night if you had him in your fantasy team.......... A friend of mine called Amer has and made him CPT, this after choosing Cesc as CPT on Saturday sees him 23rd overall out of 1.5m people in fantasy football......... It won't last......

Liverpool have Villa at home on Monday night and last season beat them 5-0 at Anfield......... Are Villa fans crapping themselves? They should be!

Spurs top of the league 

Hmmmm, Spurs top of the league....... Sounds strange...... I think they have been bottom after two games the last few season.

I guess I should say well done so far but it hurts to do so.

Jermaine Defoe bagged three and after his performance for England the other week in Holland must be putting himself in the picture for a start against Croatia at Wembley next month.

They have a tough game away to West Ham on the weekend, lets see how they do there.

Chelsea comeback again

I think for fans of the other three big four it's not good to see Chelsea coming back like this, resilience is what League Titles are made of.

On the other hand I would quite like to see Chelsea go behind in every game this season because they won't be able to come back in all of them!

The more win Chelsea get whilst adjusting to their new formation the worse it is for everyone competing with them  for the title, but then again....... Maybe they never fully adjust and stop coming back from behind..... That would be great!

Arsenal deal with Celtic

Now I know both of Arsenal's goal were quite lucky, but to be fair they deserved the win and had they not scored it would have been unfortunate.

Critics can bang on all they want about how Celtic battled well and deserved more but really, if they deserved more they probably should have created a chance or two.

I feel bad for all you Gunners out there who bought a ticket for the 2nd leg, it's as they call in Davis cup Tennis...... A dead rubber.

The Football Guy Prediction League

If my start in fantasy football has been average, then my start in the prediction league has been done right awful!!!!

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this midweek -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportsBoys        1          2         3         20  

Jamrock             1          2         3         20

Footy Doc          0          2         4         -20

Lawro                0          2         4         -20

Football Guy      0          2         4         -20

So not only do I stay bottom, but I now have a minus score overall!!!

Heres the complete table -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportsBoys        4          6         6        120    

Jamrock             3          5         8         60

Footy Doc          2          4         10        0

Lawro                1          5         10       -20 

Football Guy      0          7         9        -20

In the whole of last season I never went two week without a "Perfect Score" yet I've started this one with two blank weeks....... Oh well, long way to go yet!

Players you wish you had not made Captain

1. Wayne Rooney         - 1pts
2. Dimitar Berbatov       - 1pts
3. Any United defender - 2pts

Players you should have made captian

1. Jermanie Defoe - 17pts
2. Robbie Keane   - 13pts
3. Steven Gerrard - 11pts
4. Dirk Kuyt           - 11pts
5. Frank Lampard - 10pts

Players you wish you had made captain but never would

1. Brian Jensen          - 14pts
2. Michael Mancienne - 8pts
3. Andy Keogh           - 8pts
4. Robbie Blake         - 7pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence

1. Glenn Johnson - 18pts

Well done to Glenn, 18pts is mega for a defender! Also a bitter well done to my good friend Amer who is top of the OleOle.com fantasy league for picking him as captain.

I would just like to point out that Amer each year losses quite a lot of money to me in fantasy bets and has never ever beaten me at anything fantasy related (we also play a fantasy basketball league with one of the sportboys) So before you start thinking this guy is some sort of fantasy genius let me tell you he is not!!!!

As for me, I was quite happy actually with my haul of points for this gameweek considering I only had EIGHT players playing. The Football Guy will be back up the table in no time!

OK peeps, till tomorrow

Take care

Football Guy