Football_Guy

Weekend Preview 09/10 - Gameweek 13 - Sponsored by Thierry Henry's left hand

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:44:03 -0600

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! It seems like an eternity since I last spoke to you all and that can't be good.

Before I get to this weeks predictions though, I've got a little matter that needs clearing up. Namely the whole uproar caused by a certain Mr TH14's left hand.

I'm sure by now you've all seen Thierry Henry's handball against Ireland on Wednesday night. Was not pretty and I wish it had not happened, but does this make him some sort of evil villain of Hitler-esque proportions that the media and the majority of Irish people that I know have made him out to be? Quite clearly not and if you think otherwise your either a very very very sore loser and need someone to blame or work in the media and need a story. Had this happened against some country we'd all never heard off I'm sure nobody would care in the slightest.

Yes it's annoying that a goal that denies someone a place at the World Cup should not have stood and I can understand Irish fans moaning about it but for one, lets not forget the fact the not two minutes earlier Nicolas Anelka had clearly been brought down by Shay Given and a penalty was not given...... Had the Irish gone down the other end of the field and scored after that to knock France out would there been any calls from the media to reply the match? Would the ref be criticized? I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

I read Arseblog yesterday and I thought he summed it all up pretty well. It's ridicules to make out Henry to be some sort of evil cunt and the only real reason this is all happening is because of the opposition he's playing against. Don't believe me? OK, maybe this will prove my point -

Back in the 2004 European Championships, Croatia were playing France in the group stages, it was the 2nd match. Croatia were leading 2-1 and needed the win to keep their hope of getting through to the next round alive, all was going good until with about 15mins to go David Trezeguet runs down a backpass and blocks the kick with his outstretched arm which takes the ball back past the keeper and Trezeguet knocks in to a open net..... 2-2, Croatia robbed........ Now this was only 4 1/2 years ago at a major international tournament......... How many of you even knew that had happened? Very few I imagine, now had that been against England or Ireland I'm pretty sure we'd all still be talking about it and Trezeguet would have got the same cunt treatment that Henry is getting now. Look at the furore the Eduardo dive against Celtic caused and all it did was mean that Arsenal were 3-0 up instead of 2-0 on agg, but what about David N'gog? His dive cost Birmingham 2 points which might be the difference between survival and relegation for Birmingham come the end of the season but was he called a cheat and a disgrace by the media? Not that I remember. Again it seems to be like it does not really matter what you do, but rather who you do it against.

Again, I'd like to make it clear that I sympathise with Irish fans about the manner of your defeat, but I think from a karma point of view you had it coming.........

I'm sure the Irish thought Maradona's handball in 86 was very funny...... Not so funny now is it?

Anyway, I hope now that real football is back on the agenda we can put this whole cauldron of BS behind us and hopefully find peace with ourselves........

Liverpool v Manchester City

So kicking off Saturday we have two teams that seem to have not won a match in months, yet both are in the top seven in the league.

I trusted Liverpool last time out and felt betrayed by their 2-2 draw with Birmingham........ Having said that I also trusted City to beat Burnley and look how that turned out!

So considering I have very little trust in either side I'm going to have to go with a draw ( I want to go with a home win) and home Stevie G does not get injured again.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Birmingham v Fulham

Don't see many goals flying in in this one. For starters both a semi good defences having both conceded only 14 goals which is the same as Arsenal and Man City. The problem is that unlike Arsenal and Man City, Birmingham and Fulham don't score much, Birmingham have only 10 goals which is joint least in the league whilst Fulham's 14 is hardly much better.

If you have any defenders here in your fantasy teams you'd do well to play them, but knowing my luck now that I've said that it's going to be 4-4.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Burnley v Aston Villa

I really want to go for a draw in this one but considering I've already gone with draws in the first two games I can't go for three in a row.......... Well I could, but I won't.

I don't trust Villa in games I'm confident they will win since they have failed to beat four of the bottom seven. But I guess since Burnley are 10th Villa should be alright?

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

Chelsea v Wolves

If Chelsea don't win this game by at least four goals they truly are a poo team and not worthy of lifting the league title.

If Chelsea don't win this game by at least four goals Roman should hire the Corba Kai from Karate Kid to "Sweep the Leg" of all the starting XI.

If Chelsea don't win this game by at least four goals Big Mick should get a payrise and a BJ from a real Wolf.

If Chelsea don't win this game by at least four goals my prediction will be seriously wrong.

Football Guy's verdict 4-0

Hull v West Ham

Big match for two teams fighting it out near the foot of the table.

I've got a new formula for betting on Hull this season -

If Hull are the away team, ALWAYS back the home team.

If Hull are the home team, have a look if the team is below them in the league, back Hull to win and go to the pub and get pissed.

I can't lose!!!!

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Sunderland v Arsenal

As an Arsenal fan who is very confident in his team at the moment there is a distinct LACK of confidence for me going in to this match.

I don't know why, I can't think of a rational reason for Arsenal to fail to beat Sunderland....... Well other than the fact they beat Liverpool and drew with Man Utd....... But hey, Arsenal are way better then them two....... Well Liverpool at least.......

Football Guy's verdict 2-2

Manchester United v Everton

I don't care that Everton won their last game before the international break, they still stink when playing a good team, just look at what Benfica did to them...... 7-0 over two games!!!

Now I don't expect United to crush them like that, but I do expect a comfortable victory.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Bolton v Blackburn

I find myself with a distinct lack of interest in this match and I think the pain behind my eyes that I've had for the last two days is the retina cancer that i will instantly have if I watch 10 seconds of this one....... Best steer clear.

Having said that, even though I won't be watching I would still like David Dunn score and Paul Robinson subbed off after he concedes another goal from over 25 yards out.

Football Guy's verdict 2-3

Tottenham v Wigan

If Spurs really think they can bust in to the top four then this is the type of match they simply must win...... But knowing Spurs that means a crap performance.

Come on Spurs, go out there and prove all those doubters wrong!!

Wigan...... Can we see the Wigan that beat Chelsea and Aston Villa and not the Wigan that Pompey beat 4-0.....

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Stoke v Portsmouth

This game is the Sunday 4pm match!!! For real????

This would be like the BBC putting a Steven Seagal film up against ITV's X-Factor and expecting at lot of people to watch.

I'll catch this one on MoTD thanks and I think I will be having a pint Sunday afternoon in one of those non football showing pubs that we all know about but never enter.

Why couldn't this be the early kick Off Saturday and Liverpool v Man City the Sunday 4pm? Does that make too much sense to Sky and the Premier League?

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

The Rest

Right, first off here are the Footy Doc's predictions -

Liverpool 3v1 Man City

Birmingham 1v1 Fulham

Burnley 1v2 Aston Villa

Chelsea 2v0 Wolves

Hull City 1v1 West Ham

Sunderland 1v2 Arsenal

Man Utd 1v0 Everton

Bolton 1v1 Blackburn

Tottenham 3v1 Wigan

Stoke City 2v0 Portsmouth

Next up we have JamrockRover -

Liverpool 1 - 1 Man City

Birmingham 1 - 2 Fulham

Burnley 2 - 2 Aston Villa

Chelsea 4 - 0 Wolves

Hull City 1 - 2 West Ham

Sunderland 1 - 2 Arsenal

Man Utd3 - 1 Everton

Bolton 2 - 0 Blackburn

Tottenham 3 - 1 Wigan

Stoke City 2 - 0 Portsmouth

And finally, the SportBoys -

Liverpool 2 Man City 1

Birmingham 1 Fulham 0

Burnley 2 Aston Villa 2

Chelsea 3 Wolves 0

Hull City 2 West Ham 1

Sunderland 2 Arsenal 3

Man Utd 3 Everton 1

Bolton 2 Blackburn 2

Tottenham 4 Wigan 1

Stoke City 2 Portsmouth 0

Oh, and here are Lawro's as well - LINK

The End

Take care

Football Guy

Football Guy Popuri

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:28:31 -0600

Hi and hello Football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are!

As I'm sure you are all aware, we are caught in the midst of an dastardly international break, kind of like being caught in the middle of a Steven Seagal movie only worse! Apparently during an international break your average football fan will consider breaking the law up to eight times more than he normally would...... I have no scientific proof for that last statement but I can tell you that I know it is Scientific FACT!!!

Confession number one

Instead of breaking the law, I was going to use suicide as the gag, but considering what happened to former German Goalkeeper and living human, Robert Enke I changed my mind.

Football Guy's Robert Enke tribute

I'm not going to sit here and write as though I cared much about Enke when he was alive or pretend that it's a great loss to me personally now that he is no longer with us.

Instead I'd like to tell you a brief story of how Robert Enke became Arsenal's goalkeeper back in 2005 in my fictional word of Football Manager.

Basically, I was playing Football Manager 05, near the start of the season Jens Lehman got injured quite badly, can't quite remember what the injury was but I know it kept him out for about six months. Now this left me with two options -

1) Play this new Spanish GK who I'd never heard of called Almunia who's stats were pretty poo.

2) Go out and buy a new GK.

Well since I had some spare cash I thought I'd lump out £12m for this young German goalkeeper called Robert Enke who's stats were bloody awesome! I even got Jens to tutor him whilst he was nursing whatever the injury was that was keeping him out!

Anyway, as the season progressed it was becoming more and more apparent that the Enke signing was proving to be my most important one of the season. A true rubberman in goal, nothing was getting passed him and the trophy's started to rack up! About three seasons later I sold him to Real Madrid for £34m. My defensive record was never quite the same again, but ever since then, I've always had a touch of fondness in my heart for Robert Enke, I'm sure anyone who's ever played Football/Championship manager must have their own favourite players?

So whilst the real life career of Robert Enke was not so memorable to me, I'll always remember him for those three magnificent seasons he gave me in virtual football land!

R.I.P

Robert Enke

1977-2009

P.S.

Check this out.... bizzaro.

Football Guy's mailbag

As this is a popuri post, I thought it would be a good time to answer some readers questions, let's start with an old pal of the blogs -

Q: Don't you do fantasy footy reviews anymore... I liked reading about who I should have made captain, but never would..

-- IAWWT, Somewhere near Reading

FG: As you may be aware, I'm not having a particularly good season Fantasy wise, and because of that it's left me feeling quite embarrassed to even mention the word.

I used to be rather good you know! I swear I was!!!!!

Anyway, I'll bring back the fantasy football part of the Monday Hangover next time we have one.

Q: I think you're beginning to like drinking piss

-- Jamrock, Ireland

FG: Contrary to popular belief, I don't enjoy drinking piss.........

Q: The Lyrics to Shakira's She Wolf don't make any sense...... I hate songs with stupid lyrics!

-- Guy next to me at work, London

FG: Really? The lyrics are what you've taken as the main thing you remember from this song? I know you're not blind as I see you every day at work and I'm pretty sure you are not gay, but even if you were how is that body suit thing not the only thing you talk about when mentioning this song?

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about watch this - LINK

On a related matter, when I become El Presidente del Mundo, I will make it law that every girl who can pull off that black leotard thing must wear it in public once a week....... I believe it might win me the Nobel peace prize!

Q: Dear Football Guy, I play for my local football team, I have done my whole career and am seen as part of the furniture around here. Anyway, this season I feel my performances have started to drop and I'm letting everyone down. What should I do?

-- Carragher J, Liverpool

FG: I know it's tough when you have been respected for so long somewhere to suddenly become obsolete, just ask Robert De Nero, Al Pachino and VHS.......

I think the best thing you can do is either blame the other players, or pretend to be injured....... Either way it should take the attention off your awful play.

Q: Hey Football PRICK, remember back in June when you said I'd be fired by Christmas? Well were just over a month away and there are at least four managers who are more likely to get fired than I am........ HAHAHA, you loser!!!

Mick, Wolverhampton

FG: I think Mick is referring to this - LINK - OK Mick, when you are wrong you say your wrong and it looks like I'm going to be wrong about you getting fired by Christmas. But let's not gloat too much, you are still 2nd from bottom in the league........

World Cup Playoff predictions

Just for fun, here's my brief take on this weekends 1st legs -

Greece v Ukraine

Due to a recent grudge I've developed against all things Yellow and from Ukraine I'm going to be cheering quite loudly for Greece.

Football Guy's verdict 1-0

Portugal v Bosnia-Hercegovina

Should Bosnia get past Portugal I swear I will go out a by a Bosnia kit and support them during the World Cup. I've been looking for a team to root for and I think they might well fit the bill + How funny will it be to see C-Ron cry?

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Rep of Ireland v France

The BBC thought it would be a good idea to use the headline - Can Ireland give France Les Blues.

Here is a list of other things people thought were a good idea but were wrong.

unregulated stock markets
Indiana Jones 4
Betamax
The Millennium Dome
Letting Scarlett Johansson sing
Letting Elvis act
Letting Jennifer Lopez sing or act
Thalidomide

France have looked average pretty much since the last world cup, but having said that I still think they will have enough to beat the "Fightin Irish" over two legs.

Football Guy's verdict 0-0

Russia v Slovenia

The largest European nation to ever qualify for the World Cup finals v the smallest European nation ever to qualify for the World Cup finals........ How ironic..... Like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife!

Russia should really already have their place booked for the finals since they should have destroyed Germany at home in their final game. I don't think it will come back to haunt them.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Final Thoughts

Enjoy the weekend as much as you can, I'll be back on Monday with something I'm sure, plus next week we have November's power rankings which should be fun!

Take care,

Football Guy

Monday Hangover 09/10 - GW 12

Mon, 9 Nov 2009 04:52:56 -0600

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! Before we get to this weekends football action I'd like to share some bad news with you, don't worry, it will be followed by two slices of good news........ But then rounded off by some more bad news. Think of it as my "News Sandwich" or "Newswich" if you prefer.

Bad News one -

I have a horrible sore throat which has kept me from doing much this weekend, I think it's a case of tonsillitis and it again reminds me of how annoyed I am that my parents never had them taken out for me. Word of advice to all you parents out there - REMOVE YOUR KIDS TONSILS!!! They will thank you for them in later life,

Good News one -

Last Monday I quit smoking and today marks the first week anniversary of me being smoke free!!! I've got to say that giving up smoking is even easier than I thought it would be (I always thought it would be easy). The only downside is that I'm finding myself spending more money than I normally would on snack food, and if this keeps up my Peter Crouch physique will be replaced with a more Dean Windass look....... Something I'm not to keen on......

Good News two -

After months of being pestered by friends to start watching it I finally got around to watching the first season of "The Wire." (Five episodes in)

All I've heard about it is how "Original and awesome" the show is, how well written and interesting it is. Well now I've finally started to watch the show (had a lot of spare time this weekend due to sore throat) and I guess that's good news. It also leads me quite nicely on to bad new two..........

Bad News two -

After watching the first five episodes of the wire I can safely say that this is arguably the most overrated show in the history of TV!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's crap or that I don't like it, but please people, lets not pretend that there is anything special about it. How anyone can think this show is original and awesome is beyond me!!

For starters, the shows main cop Jimmy McNulty might be the biggest clichéd character of all time........ Think about it, he's a cop who plays by his own rules, a bit of a maverick, a anti-hero? His boss hates him, he's divorced and has a bit of a drinking problem, his partner is a wisecracking black guy and he wears a leather jacket more than he should......... OMG the guy is a pastiche of every famous tv/film cop I know of, the only things he's missing are a lolly-pop, and a rain-coat for when he's not wearing his leather jacket........ whoever thinks this show is original must not watch a lot of other shows.

As for the overall plot line, it's interesting enough, but again nothing I've not seen before. Maybe I'm being a tad harsh but I've got to say that I was way more impressed with the first five episodes of Lost, Heroes, Mad Men, Prison Break and The Sopranos. Maybe I've spoken too soon and things go "off the scale" super great past episode five, but for now The Wire for me is slightly better than The Shield, which it seems to have ripped off quite a bit.

Arsenal go 2nd after thumping Wolves

It's great that even when you feel that your team is not playing all that well you have utter confidence that they will not only win, but crush the opposition. Well that's how I felt on Saturday evening (as well as pain in my throat). I thought Arsenal were far from their best but it was still way more than Wolves could handle.

You could argue that Arsenal were rather lucky with their first two goals, both OG's, but those are the kind of breaks you get when your playing well. I think the great Golfer Gary Player once said - "The better I play the luckier I get" Or something to that effect and Arsenal are definitely playing well at the moment.

I really think they have what it takes to break their run of Five tropheyless season, but as we all know, you need a bit of luck to win anything and I hope they don't use up all of theirs on beating chump teams like Wolves.

Chelsea beat United to go 5pts clear

OK, so it wasn't quite the "Statement" I had predicted on Friday, in fact it was a pretty poor performance from the Blues, in fact United probably were the better team on the day.......... But Chelsea won.

Yep, everything else really doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter that Wayne Rooney was given offside when through on goal despite the fact Ashley Cole was playing him onside.

It doesn't matter that United should have had a clear penalty when John Terry bundled over Antonio Valencia.

It doesn't matter that United who were the away team had more shots at goal (21-12 in favour of United) or the fact Chelsea failed to win one corner (7-0 to United in corner's)

All that matters is that Chelsea won and are now 5pts clear of Arsenal and United (Arsenal do have a game in hand) and now that their transfer ban has been lifted, I'd expect them to get even stronger come January and that scares me........

Elsewhere

Remember a couple of weeks back when Spurs were mugged by Stoke? Well this weekend it was like watching a repeat of that match....... Only in bizzaro-reverse land! Looking just at the scoreline you'd think Spurs won the match comfortably but under closer inspection you'd find that Sunderland were unlucky not just to get a point, but to win!

Steve Bruce came out with quite a funny comment -

"since the beach ball incident at Liverpool we've run out of luck and we've been out of luck again today."

Luck can be a funny thing, one minute it's there and the next it's gone, I guess that's why they say class is permanent form is temporary.

Manchester City failed to beat a team that had not picked up a single point away from home this season....... Poo. I'm not sure how Mark Hughes has managed to fly so far under my radar this season but after results like this and comments like the one coming up I feel I'm going to have to be a lot more critical than I have been. Check out this load of BS from Sparky -

"We have to learn to see games out because we have drawn two games at home from winning positions."

Learn to see games out? Oh I'm sorry Mr Hughes, I didn't realize that you were managing a young inexperienced side with tons of potential but still a little wet behind the ears. I was under the impression that you were managing a team that cost over £200m to assemble........ Stop making excuses and start winning games!

Speaking of winning games, both Hull and Blackburn won very important games this weekend and both had to come from behind to do so. Blackburn beat pompey at home and really needed the win to get them out of the bottom three. It didn't start so well for Rovers as they fell behind to a 30 yard strike from Jamie O'Hara. I'm sure it will be included in goal of the month on Match of the Day, but considering it was against Paul "I can save a shot that's struck 20 yards or further away from me" Robinson I think it should be discounted...... Or at least have some sort of asterisk next to it as Paul Robinson is starting to drift in to the Tony Hibbert zone of "Everyday people masquerading as Pro Footballers." Fat Sam made some big changes at half-time, bringing on McCarthy and Roberts......... Amazing that after you bring on two of your best three players that you would start to play better?!?!?! No wonder these managers are paid big bucks to make those kind of decisions....... Anyway those two changed the game in Blackburns favour and dragged Rovers out of the bottom three. Hull's come from behind victory not only got Hull out of the relegation zone for what seems like the first time this season, but also probably kept Phil Golden-Brown his job.......... I'll let you all judge if that's a good thing or a bad thing...........

Aston Villa raped Bolton 5-1, I feel awfully stupid for predicting just a 2-1 win for Villa considering I was talking about how bad Bolton's defence is on Friday....... But hey, I knew Villa would concede!!!

West Ham found a new way to kick their fans in the teeth by losing to Everton at home on Sunday, just when the Hammers faithful thought they were turning the corner they walk right in to another brick wall........ And Everton right now are a pretty poor brick wall. I'm guessing the reason nobody is talking about Zola's job security is because everybody and their dog loves him, but surely that can only last so long?

Oh and finally, there was a football match played in Wigan, apparently both teams scored a goal, the game ended a draw and everybody went home.......... The End.

The Football Guy Prediction League

It was a pretty good week for the top three in the league....... No so much for the bottom two......

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

PR CR WR PTS

Footy Doc 1 6 2 70

Jamrock 2 3 4 50

Football Guy 1 5 3 50

Lawro 0 5 4 10

SportBoys 0 4 5 -10

Here's the complete table -

PR CR WR PTS

Footy Doc 17 46 52 450

Jamrock 15 47 53 390

Football Guy 9 57 49 350

Lawro 13 46 56 290

SportBoy 11 46 58 210

The league table is not looking pretty for the old SportBoys at the moment, but let's not forget that the Footy Doc was bottom of the pile not to long ago........

Winners and Losers

Winners

Arsenal

For scoring Four more goals this weekend taking their total for the season in the league up to 36. They are on pace to score 124 goals this season which is great if you love watching attacking football........ Who doesn't?

Chelsea

Anytime you beat another big four side you have to consider yourselves winners........... Even if you don't deserve too.

Blackburn

For winning a game you had too.

Hull

Same as above

Tottenham

For winning a match you should have won but were lucky to in the end........ Does that make sense?

John Terry

For getting away with fouling Antonio Valencia in the box, then going on to score the winner......... All in a days work for John Terry, England Captain.

Losers

Manchester United

Anytime you lose to another big four side you have to consider yourselves losers........... Even if you didn't deserve too.

Mark Hughes

For being a poor manager........ This might become a permanent home for Sparky.

John Terry

For being a Cunt whose mother is a shoplifter

The End

Take care,

Football Guy

Weekend Preview 09/10 - Gameweek 12

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 17:08:48 -0600

Hi and hello Football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, whats going down? I hope all is well wherever you are!

It's been a crazy/busy week in my life let me tell you....... Actually, despite it being busy there really was not that much of interest other than earlier today when I had to attend a disciplinary hearing at work! I'm not going to go in to details as I know a few people from work read the blog, but lets just say it was serious enough for me to have to go in a couple of hours before work started and I genuinely thought I was leaving unemployed. Actually being unemployed might have been a blessing in disguise as it would have freed up a lot of my time and let me write more......... Though I'm not sure how my bank would feel when I stopped paying them all the money I owe them....... I guess I could have sold naming rights or something?

Anyway I hope I have your understanding and forgiveness for the lateness of the post and without further delay, here are this weeks predictions -

Aston Villa v Bolton

If you can forget Bolton's last two games (both beatings by Chelsea) they have actually been in quite a good run of form. On the surface it seems like they don't score enough but it's actually at the other end were the Trotters problems lie with only Burnley, Blackburn and Hull having conceded more....... Not exactly the kind of company you want to be keeping!

Villa on the other hand have really not been setting the world on fire and are actually winless in their last four games since beating Chelsea. I think that run comes to an end on Saturday, they are due a win and Bolton I think will still be suffering from the tonkings Chelsea gave them.

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Blackburn v Portsmouth

I think I've got a good feel for what sort of team Pompey are and that is a team that is better than what their league position suggests and would be a lot further up the table if they had a decent striker.

Now as for Blackburn, I'm still not sure. They've looked pretty poo of late, but then again they have had to play Arsenal, Chelsea and United recently. I think I'll have all the answers I need after this match.

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Manchester City v Burnley

Check this out, Man City sit fourth in the league yet they have not won a league match since September......... How crazy is that?

OK maybe it's not that crazy, but it is quite strange you'd have to say? Anyway, City are well overdue a victory and what better team to come knocking at your door than one who might not be able to beat a pub team should it be away from home!

I think it will be a good weekend for the Blue half of Manchester.

Football Guy's verdict 3-0

Tottenham v Sunderland

Really not sure what to make of this one, Spurs generally have been good this season against teams outside the top three but then again lost last time out at home to Stoke and Sunderland are about as predictable "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus".

I think I should employ a new rule which states that if I have no idea what the result will be, go with a draw!

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Wolves v Arsenal

Incredibly, Wolves are unbeaten in their last three games. I genuinely didn't believe they could go three games without defeat in any competition but yet they have proved me wrong!

Well done Wolves, I'd savour it for as long as you can, because that run is coming to an abrupt end Saturday evening when the "goal machine" that is Arsenal comes rocking in to town!

I expect a beating and anything less than three goals for the Gunners will be considered failure!

Football Guy's verdict 0-3

Hull v Stoke

Stoke have pissed me off in my predictions the last two weeks so I'm going to back them to lose this week out of spite!

But putting vendettas aside for just one moment, as mentioned earlier in the post, I today almost lost my job........ It was a scary thought being unemployed this close to Christmas and I'm relieved to not be on the dole line. Anyway, this experience has made me realize that I should not be rooting for Phil Brown to get sacked as that would be wrong. So Phil, I'm really sorry and hope you keep your job.......... Instead die of skin cancer you sunbed loving twat!

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

West Ham v Everton

Bleeeargh...... I'm not really high on either team at the moment, although West Ham did get a much needed win Wednesday night. It was actually their first win at home all season long and considering Everton are looking like a right mess at the moment I'm going to say The Hammers make it back to back wins.

PS, these pictures of Katy Perry also swayed my mind......... I hate Russell Brand!

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Wigan v Fulham

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present your Gameweek 12 winner of the "Most un-interesting game of the week" award!

Football Guy's verdict 2-2

Chelsea v Manchester United

Right, I think Chelsea make a big statement this week..... A BIG STATEMENT!

This United team fully fit for me is still a pale comparison to the ones of the last few years, now throw in the problems they have at the back and your asking for trouble and this Chelsea side are not the team I'd like to meet when not at the top of my game.

Don't be shocked when you see United crushed on Sunday, just remember you heard it here fisrt!

Football Guy's verdict 3-0

Liverpool v Birmingham

Right Liverpool, you have two options -

1) Win this game and start to get your season back on track

2) Fail to win this game and be killed by the media (figuratively) and by your fans (literally).

As Master Yoda once said - "Do or do not, there is no try" and for Liverpool there can only be one result.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

The Rest

Right, first off here are the Footy Doc's predictions -

Aston Villa 2v1 Bolton

Blackburn 2v0 Portsmouth

Man City 4v1 Burnley

Tottenham 3v1 Sunderland

Wolves 1v4 Arsenal

Hull City 1v0 Stoke City

West Ham 0v1 Everton

Wigan 2v0 Fulham

Chelsea 2v1 Man Utd

Liverpool 3v1 Birmingham

Next up we have JamrockRover -

Aston Villa 2 - 1 Bolton

Blackburn 2 - 1 Portsmouth

Man City 3 - 0 Burnley

Tottenham 2 - 2 Sunderland

Wolves 1 - 4 Arsenal

Hull City 1 - 2 Stoke City

West Ham 2 - 1 Everton

Wigan 1 - 1 Fulham

Chelsea 2 - 1 Man Utd

Liverpool 3 - 0 Birmingham

And finally, the SportBoys -

Aston Villa 2 v Bolton 1

Blackburn 2 v Portsmouth 2

Man City 3 v Burnley 0

Tottenham 2 v Sunderland 1

Wolves 0 v Arsenal 3

Hull City 1 v Stoke City 1

West Ham 2 v Everton 1

Wigan 2 v Fulham 1

Chelsea 3 v Man Utd 0

Liverpool 2 v Birmingham 0

Oh, and here are Lawro's as well - LINK

The End

Have a wonderful weekend, take care,

Football Guy

Monday Hangover 09/10 - GW 11

Mon, 2 Nov 2009 05:54:32 -0600

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! It's absolutely F-ING FREEZING here in the broom closet at Football Guy towers and if there's one thing I don't like that's being cold! Boo to being cold! The other thing I can't stand is being tired and unfortunately I feel very tired today....... I blame my job, how dare they expect me to work all day on a Monday?!?!?!?! Asshole's..........

Speaking of asshole's, did anyone notice how many were refereeing matches this weekend? Nine red cards in ten matches........ I blame Halloween, all that fake blood must have left a lasting image in the ref's minds.

So due to the sheer volume I thought I'd help out the FA by setting up my own review panel so we can clear up who was rightly dismissed and who was not.

Degen (Liverpool) watch here

Bad Red.

Yes he was late, but he went in with one leg and his stud were not showing and I'm not sure if he actually even touches Clint Dempsey. Things just keep going wrong for Rafa.

Carragher (Liverpool) watch here

Good Red.

I was beginning to think that Carragher was immune to Red cards after escaping last week for a similar foul on Owen and earlier in the same match on Zamora. Finally though justice prevailed.

Bilyaletdinov (Everton) watch here

Good Red.

Horrible, horrible tackle. Petrov's a lucky boy to still have his leg in one piece. There can be no complaints here.

Cuellar (Aston Villa) watch here

Acceptable Red.

I don't think he has much to complain about for the 2nd yellow he received, but the first was a joke!

Samuel (Bolton) watch here

Good Red.

Last man, striker through on goal, can't complain.

Jones (Sunderland) no video

Good Red.

Some might argue that Ilunga went down very easily, but the rules are if you raise your hands your off and Kenwyn certainly did raise them and pushed Ilunga in the face.

Kovac (West Ham) no video

Harsh Red.

His first yellow was right, the second yellow not so much. Basically it's in the middle of the filed and the ball bounces in front of Kovac who goes to hoof it away, just as he's swinging his leg Darren Bent comes from behind and nicks the ball but Kovac catches him......... I'm sure Kovac had no idea Bent was behind him and I agree it was a foul, but never a second Yellow.

Ferguson (Birmingham) watch here

Good Red.

Barry Ferguson is an idiot....... End off.........

Arsenal thump Spurs in North London Derby

Did you see how Spurs had "done a number" on Arsenal for the first 40 minutes? No? Are you sure? It seemed like that was all the Sky pundits at half-time wanted to talk about. Well it's one thing to "do a number" on someone for 40 minutes, but lets all remember one of the fundamental rules of Football......... It's a 90 minute match........

I don't think Spurs can have much to complain about, they were well and truly outclassed and were probably lucky not to have been beaten by more. I guess they could bemoan their bad luck at not having Modric, Lennon and Defoe, but since their captain Robbie Keane pointed out how much better their bench is than Arsenal's I don't think that excuses is valid.

If Arsenal fans want something to complain about it has to be the fact that they didn't score more. Eduardo was the main culprit ad I'm sure he'd be the first to say his finishing was waaaaaaaaaaay below the standard we've all come to expect of him. Also Arsenal fan's might want to moan at the fact David Bentley escaped without a booking for a really bad challenge on Vermealen, it was very similar to the Bilyaletdinov sending off for Everton and really it should have been punished in the same way.

All in all though I'd say a very good performance from the Gunners, made all the more special when you consider that they were playing with 10 men........ Well 10 + Abu Diaby's corpse......

Chelsea thump Bolton.......... Again

This was the second time in three days that Chelsea faced Bolton, unfortunately for the Trotters it didn't matter that it was a different ground and a different competition, the result was still the same.

It was the kind of performance that reminded me just why I had described them as a machine a month or so ago and why they have to be considered strong favourites for the title.

Bolton very rarely threatened and after J-Lloyd Samuel was dismissed late in the first half this one was all but over.

Chelsea face United and Arsenal in their next three league games, should they win both it might be a long way back for the rest of the title chasers.

Fulham 3-1 Liverpool

It was the Reds fifth defeat of the season in the league and their sixth in their last seven in all competitions........ And to make matters worse, Bobby Zamora scored against them.......... How bad do you have to be to have that fate befall you?

Why are Liverpool struggling? I'll explain it to you very simply -

Small squad + Injuries + Suspensions =

TROUBLE

I still think Phil Brown is the best bet for "next premier league manager to get sacked" but you will get better value for a cheeky bet on Rafa.

United beat poo Blackburn

Now let's be clear about this......... United for me were very average on Saturday evening, Blackburn were poo........ So poo that I expected to see a Blue and White turd in the toilet Saturday night when I came back from the pub!

On the surface things seem like they are going well for United, 2nd in the league, top of their champions league group, but delve a little deeper and you see a team lacking idea's and class in midfield and if they don't buy in January I'll go on record now by saying this team has no chance of winning the league. I'm so sure that without a quality signing or two United can't win the league that if they do, I'll tatoo "United forever" on my chest. You can hold me to that.

The rest

Everton and Villa played out the draw that everyone saw coming......... Except me for some reason?

Pompey got their 2nd win of the season, but failed to move off the bottom of the league thanks to West Ham's draw at Sunderland, a match the Hammer's should have won given the fact they had a two goal lead.

Hull lost again....... Becoming a bit of a trend that? Speaking of trends, Wolves and City drew their 3rd successive league games, good for Wolves....... Bad for City.

The Football Guy Prediction League

After the horror show that was last weeks predictions, things had to get better this week right?

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

PR CR WR PTS

Jamrock 1 5 4 40

Lawro 1 5 4 40

Footy Doc 2 3 5 40

SportBoys 0 5 5 0

Football Guy 0 5 5 0

Here's the complete table -

PR CR WR PTS

Footy Doc 16 40 50 380

Jamrock 13 44 49 340

Football Guy 8 52 46 300

Lawro 13 41 52 280

SportBoy 11 42 53 220

So not a lot of movement in the league table. There is a Premiership match on Wednesday night between West Ham and Villa, I'm not sure if Lawro will pick a result for it, if he does not then neither do we.

Winners and Losers

Winners

Arsenal

The end

I will add a Winners and Losers section later today, so until then

take care

Football Guy

Weekend Preview 09/10 - Gameweek 11

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:40:24 -0500

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy. What's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! Here in the broom closet at Football Guy towers it's been a funny old week, firstly I watched quite a bit of Carling Cup action with the Football Dad and found it surprisingly enjoyable! I especially liked the fact Arsenal beat Liverpool and believe it or not I'm glad that Spurs went through as well as I'm hoping we get to play them at some stage and give them a beating like the one we're going to give them tomorrow.......... NO JINX...........

I've also had a pretty good week at work which is going to be topped of tonight with a Halloween fancy dress party with a FREE BAR!!!!! I love free bar's!!!! I'm sure you are all wondering what I'm going to go dressed as........... No? Well I'm telling you anyway, I'm going dressed as the head bad man himself, none other than Satan (I was going to go dressed as a Spurs fan but thought that would be too scary!). I'n not really sure though what drink Satan would drink so please let me know if you have any ideas as a free bar is always a good time to experiment with alcohol.

My only regret this week has been the lack of Football Guy activity on this site, believe me when I say I've been busy and will start posting more often very soon.

Anyway, we've got a lot of games to get through so let's not waste anymore time.

Arsenal v Tottenham

There's a lot to like coming in to this fixture from an Arsenal fans point of view -

1. No Jermain Defoe

2. No Aaron Lennon

3. Robbie Keane running his mouth off in the papers

I got a phone call from a good buddy of mine last night (Spurs Pete) who basically said something on the line of "Robbie Keane jaw should be broken for coming out with that crap, that guy has jinxed any chance we had of getting a result."

It's always a good sign when a Spurs fan is not confident because God knows normally they are full of it!

It's also a good sign that Spurs will be without the two players who could really do damage to Arsenal's attacking defence, I still think the Gunners will concede but they should have enough going forward to win.

Football Guy's verdict 3-1

Bolton v Chelsea

The question is how much do we read in to Chelsea's beating they gave Bolton midweek in the Carling Cup? I say quite a lot!

I'd imagine Bolton should put up bit more of a fight at home but the result should still be the same.

Plus Chelsea have lost their last two away games in the league, there's no way they slip up three times in a row!

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

Burnley v Hull

What the Hell has been going on at Hull this week? Bookie's stoped taking bets on Phil Brown losing his job, the Chairman was pushed out of the club and apparently if they get relegated their finances are so bad that would collapse......... Though week.......... Yet Phil Brown is still there!!! Sorry Hull fans, I think your club is destined to die.

Burnley disappointed me last week by getting turned over by Wigan at home, I think they right things this week, it's probably a good time to play Hull at home........ Actually it should always be a good time to play Hull at home!

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Everton v Aston Villa

Everton have shipped 10 goals in their last three games in all competitions and it's been over a month since their last clean-sheet......... I'm not very high on Everton's defence right now!

Villa have had a pretty good record this season in games where you might worry they will get beat and it's because of that........ Well and Everton's poo defece at the mo, that I'm going with a away win.

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

Fulham v Liverpool

Might need to show Fulham a little bit more respect after they almost beat Man City away last week. They still don't score enough for me but it seems they can give a game to anyone.

Liverpool should have Fernando Torres playing in this one but Stevie G is still a doubt and because of that I'm going for a draw.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Manchester United v Blackburn

United have some problems at the back going in to this one, no Vidic and no Rio......... Good think they are playing a Blackburn side who I'm not sure could keep a clean sheet against a Conference side and managed too have two put passed them midweek by Peterborough.

United's midfield and attack should get them through this one and to show how confident I am of a United win I promise to do a shot of piss if United fail to pick up three points.......... Don't let me down Fergie!!!

Football Guy's verdict 3-1

Portsmouth v Wigan

So Pompey fans, do you want the good news or the bad news? Let's go with the bad news -

Bad News

You've got a transfer ban meaning no buying in January, but don't worry, your Rich Arab owner is not actually very rich at all so I doubt you would have bought much anyway.

Good News

You are going to win this weekend!

There you go, feel better right?

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Stoke v Wolves

Still feels strange that this is a Premiership fixture, a bit like the strangeness I feel when seeing Ray Stubbs on ESPN and not on the BBC.

I'll tell you what else is strange, Wolves are unbeaten in their last two league games!!!!! DOOMSDAY COMETH!!!!!

I'm banking on Stoke to restore order to the universe and beat Wolves at home.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Sunderland v West Ham

Sunderland, Draw at Old Trafford, beat Liverpool, lose to Birmingham........... Welcome to the 2009/10 Craps Shoot team. Roll the dice and see what happens!

So in honour of them being so unpredictable I've decided to let FIFA 10 play the game and whatever the result is I'll go with -

Sunderland win 2-0 thanks to two first half goals from Kenwyn Jones and Lorik Cana, first half was good, 2nd half not so much.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Birmingham v Manchester City

Let's face it, Birmingham are one DULL team to watch, they don't score many, they don't really play all that an attractive game and they are from Birmingham....... Arguably the dullest city in Britain!

I guess they can't do much about the city they are from or the fact their attack is pretty blunt, but they could try and not bore teams to death once in a while........

City disappointed me last week, a team like theirs should be dispatching teams like Fulham at home not just about drawing with them. I think Mark hughes will have got the point across.

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

The Rest

Right, first off here are the Footy Doc's predictions -

Arsenal 3v2 Tottenham

Bolton 1v2 Chelsea

Burnley 1v1 Hull City

Everton 1v0 Aston Villa

Fulham 0v1 Liverpool

Portsmouth 2v0 Wigan

Stoke City 3v1 Wolves

Sunderland 2v2 West Ham

Man Utd 2v0 Blackburn

Birmingham 1v3 Man City

Next up we have JamrockRover -

Arsenal 3 - 1 Tottenham

Bolton 1 - 2 Chelsea

Burnley 3 - 2 Hull City

Everton 1 - 1 Aston Villa

Fulham 1 - 1 Liverpool

Portsmouth 2 - 1 Wigan

Stoke City 2 - 0 Wolves

Sunderland 2 - 1 West Ham

Man Utd 4 - 1 Blackburn

Birmingham 1 - 2 Man City

And finally, the SportBoys -

Arsenal 3 Tottenham 1

Bolton 0 Chelsea 2

Burnley 1 Hull City 0

Everton 2 Aston Villa 2

Fulham 1 Liverpool 1

Portsmouth 1 Wigan 2

Stoke City 1 Wolves 0

Sunderland 2 West Ham 0

Man Utd 4 Blackburn 1

Birmingham 1 Man City 2

Oh, and here are Lawro's as well - LINK

The End

Have a wonderful weekend, I know I will!

Football Guy

Monday Hangover 09/10 - GW 10

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 09:29:08 -0500

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! There is an air of "The Sky is Falling" mentality here in the broom closet at Football Guy towers this Monday. Up until about Six O'Clock on Sunday everything had been going great, I had been out on Friday night for some drinks with a few work buddies and had a blast, Saturday had been a fun relaxing day watching football and making some money on the side playing internet poker and Sunday, the day I was really looking forward to could not have started any better. I watched the great Valentino Rossi win yet another Moto GP title, I watched the Mancs loose to Liverpool and even Manchester City slipped up at home to Fulham. This really were going great.............. Then it all started to unravel......... The universe has a funny way of kicking you in the teeth when things are going well for you........ And Arsenal throwing away a two goal lead was a big kick in the teeth......... The kind of kick that leaves you missing your front teeth and looking like a hill-billy. If that was not bad enough I ended up losing the money I had won the previous night play poker (word to the wise...... Don't play poker when angry....... Only bad can come of it!) And fianlly to cap it all off, the sports team I hate the most outside of football, The New York Yankees got the win the needed last night to send them to the World Series.......... I feel sick, both physically and mentally, I'd like to dig a big whole and bury myself in it for about a week, but since that isn't an option, I might aswell get on with the Monday Hangover!

Stoke mug Spurs

As much as I hate Spurs, I've got to say I feel for them after this loss to Stoke. If the world was fair they would have won this 3-4 nil, but as I've learnt this weekend the world is not always fair and you don't always get what you deserve.

Stoke put on what might well be the finest Rope-a-dope display since Ali v Foreman, taking wave after wave of Spurs attack only to sucker punch their opponents late on and steal the victory......... Actually scrap that analogy, Spurs are no George Foreman and Stoke are certainly no Muhammed Ali. This was more like Frank Bruno v "Bone-crusher" Smith, for those of you who don't remember the fight, Bruno basically battered a fat, slow, talentless lump of a man for 11 rounds and was way ahead on points going in to the 12th. Only needing to survive the round to win Bruno instead went for the KO and ended up himself getting caught on his famously glass chin by a Bone-Crusher haymaker and lost the fight........... Yes that's much better, Spurs, like Bruno always get hyped up but rarely produce and Stoke........ Well you could do a lot worse than compare them to a no-mark boxer named "Bone-Crusher" Smith.

To make matters worse for Spurs they were denied a stonewall pen at the death which basically rubbed salt in a already sore wound.......... Hopefully they will again be disapointed come next Saturday!

Chelsea go back top after crushing Blackburn

It's funny, but at half-time this one didn't really look like being a thrashing, but then again, as all Arsenal fans know after this weekend, Half-Time is only half the battle.

Chelsea did the business and have now scored nine goals in their last two matches, but more importantly for them I think is the return to goals of Frank Lampard. The fat one got two on Saturday to add to his one from midweek and it's a welcome return to the goals for a man we've been accustomed to seeing score plenty from midfield.

On a related note - How bad is Paul Robinson from long range?

I'm beginning to think the guy needs glasses, or a new set of eyes like Tom Cruise got in the Minority Report!

Liverpool get much needed win over United

Rafa got just the tonic he needed after four straight defeats in all competitions....... A victory over rivals United. It's actually their 3rd straight league win over United and in other news also Vidic's 3rd straight match against Liverpool where he has been sent off.

It was a pretty hard fought match and had this game been played between two guys infront of a computer playing Football Manager I think both must have had the "Hard Tackling" BOX CLICKED!

I can't say there was that much "great football" on show, but what the game lacked in class it sure made up in grit and determination and I think that other than the last 10 minutes or so Liverpool were probably the better team.

It was quite funny watching the match surrounded by United fans (only one had a Manchester accent) and hearing them bemoan every foul given against them, the funniest had to be right at the end of the first half when I thought Berbatov fouled Kuyt in the box so badly that it ripped his shirt....... Here's how it played out in the pub -

(Berbatov hauls down Kuyt in box)

Me - PENALTY!!!

Student United fans - FUCK OFF

Me - What?!?!? He pulled him down!

Student United fans - Now way, that's a dive!!!

Me - Oh really? How the FUCK did his shirt get ripped then, that shows just how hard Berba was pulling his shirt!

Student United fans - WHAT (in all seriousness) HE DID IT HIMSELF THE FUCKING CHEAT!!

Me - OK............ Sure he did...........

I'd like to think I've never been so blinded by my passion for my team that I can't see right from wrong.

Speaking of right from wrong, how the hell was Jamie Carragher not sent off for blatantly bundling Michael Owen over went through on goal? Horrible, horrible call from the ref there who all in all I think had a pretty poor game, he booked Berbatov and Evra for practically nothing yet failed to give a penalty to Liverpool when Berbatov ripped Kuyt shirt from pulling it so hard. The only right call he made all game was to send Vidic off for a 2nd yellow. I've still not really made up my mind on the Mascherano Red, I feel it was a bit harsh but I can't really moan at the ref for producing a 2nd yellow there.

All in all it was a big win for Liverpool and on the balance of play a deserved one too.

Arsenal throw away two points

You must not, can not, will not throw away a two goal halftime lead under any circumstances......... It must not, can not, will not happen again!!! GOT THAT!!!!

Oh boy does writing about this depress me and for the sake of my well being I shall be brief.

Arsenal didn't play all that well in the first half but were still two goals to the good, then the 70th minute rolled around and it all went wrong. Firstly I'm not sure if it was a foul by Diaby for the free kick that lead to the Hammers first goal, at beat I'd have to say it was soft, but regardless, how does Vito Mannone manage to parry that back across goal? It would have been easier to catch it with two hands than parry it back across goal like that. Once that goal went in it was obvious we were going to have a nail-biting finish and West ham should have had a penalty when Scott Parker was tripped by I believe it was William Gallas, for whatever reason the ref didn't give it.......... I believe his fourth official must have spoke to him through his ear-piece telling him he had made a mistake because the only reason I can think off as to why he gave the pen for a foul on Carlton Cole a couple of minutes later was to make up for the earlier error...... Not that that makes it right of course!

Arsenal almost snatched it at the death and would have if RvP's header had gone anywhere else other than right at Rob Green's leg.

I don't really want to think or right about it anymore as it still hurts, the same pain I get when I think back to the time I watch "Solaris" with George Clooney....... Actually, Solaris was worse........

The Football Guy Prediction League

I think as a collective we put in the worst performance of the season this week, everybody's predictions stunk........Well all baring one.......

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

PR CR WR PTS

Footy Doc 3 3 4 80

Lawro 0 2 8 -60

SportBoys 0 2 8 -60

Jamrock 0 1 9 -80

Football Guy 0 1 9 -80

Here's the complete table -

PR CR WR PTS

Footy Doc 14 37 45 340

Jamrock 12 39 45 300

Football Guy 8 47 41 300

Lawro 12 36 48 240

SportBoy 11 37 48 220

So the Footy Doc goes from Worst to First in the space of one week!!! Who said football predictions were boring????

The End

Due to time, I can't do the winners and loser section today, but I promise to do some more writing during the week, I think I owe it to ya,

Take care

Football Guy

Weekend Preview 09/10 - Gameweek 10

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:40:20 -0500

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! It's been a pretty quite week here at Football guy towers, nothing really worthwhile to report. So let's get straight in to the action.

The Football Guy Prediction League

First off, I need to update the table following Monday nights result between Fulham and Hull. Everyone in the league went with a Fulham win, but only Lawro managed to guess right that the score would be 2-0.

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

PR CR WR PTS

JamRock 12 38 36 380

Football Guy 8 46 32 380

Lawro 12 34 40 300

SportBoys 11 35 40 280

Footy Doc 11 34 41 240

So Lawro moves into a clear 3rd place.......... How embarrassing for the Sportboys and the Footydoc........

Wolves v Aston Villa

It's weird that Villa would beat Liverpool and Chelsea, get a draw against Man City and yet lose to Blackburn and Wigan. Had they beat both Rovers and Wigan (which you would have expected them to) they would be sitting joint top of the league with United!

Now it's exactly that kind of strange form that puts the fear of God in me when thinking that Villa should beat Wolves comfortably Saturday lunchtime. I'm about as nervous as Roman Polanski talking to a bunch of American's in a Swiss bar........

Having said that Wolves managed to lose to Pompey at home so there's noway I'm backing them to get anything against Villa.

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

Birmingham v Sunderland

This is another game that worries me, Sunderland have taken Four points from their last two matches, beating Liverpool and drawing at Old Trafford, yet I can easily see them slipping up away to Birmingham.

I have not liked predicting too many draws this season but that's just what I think this one will be.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Burnley v Wigan

Another game that worries me (seems like a trend is developing)

Six of the last eight league meetings between Burnley and Wigan have ended as draws. Yet Burnley have won 10 matches on the trot in the league at home (including play-off games).

I'm going to ride Burnley's home form until they slip up, which hopefully won't be this week!

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Hull v Portsmouth

Hmmmmm, arguably the two worst teams in the Premier League, not a match I'm looking forward to seeing.......

I watched the whole of the snoozefest that was Fulham v Hull on Monday night and I have to say I was sickened by the total lack of ambition showed by the Tigers and I'm glad they lost because of it.

Now Pompey big problem this season has not been creating chances but finishing them, well considering that Hull are at home and will have to attack a little and when you throw in the fact they defend like like a bunch of retards trying to cross the road I think that Pompey will create a host of chances, a couple of which they will have to finish.

Hull's chairman said the other that there is no chance of Phil Brown being fired which takes a lot of the fun out of rooting against the Tigers, but considering how much I hate the guy I'll still take pleasure from seeing him lose.

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

Tottenham v Stoke

Some thing's never seem to change, Spurs fans continue to have delusions of grandeur and Stoke can't win away from home. I think in the whole of last season they managed just one victory on their travels in the league and so far this season they have yet to get in the W column.

Spurs will be without there top goalscorer, a certain Jermain "Stop stamping" Defoe. The highlight of last weekend for me was probably watching football first on Sky and hearing that Defoe had been sent of for stamping, I instantly called up one half of the SportBoys (who has Defoe in his fantasy team) and did my best Eddie Murphy doing Michael Jackson impression mocking him down the phone........ When your fantasy team stinks as bad as mine does you need these small victories......... fast-forward to the 2.00 mark of this clip to see what I mean.

(Just spent the past 30 minutes watching Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor stand-up clips.......)

Spurs win, Crouchinho goal.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Chelsea v Blackburn

I said in Monday's hangover column that I thought it was only a matter of time before Ricky C was dropped form Chelsea's defence and sure enough, he didn't start in Chelsea next match (4-0 win over Athletico Madrid).

Chelsea might have lost their last two away games in the league, but Stamford Bridge still seems as strong a fortress as ever and I expect them to win this one comfortably.

Football Guy's verdict 3-0

Bolton v Everton

Check this out, last Friday I praised Everton saying the were playing quite well, since then they almost lost at home to Wolves and got spanked 5-0 by Benfica............. Talk about the kiss of death!!

If only I could use this power to smite my enemies life would be good.

In totally unrelated news, everyone in fantasy football who has more points than me has done an excellent job and I think you are all great managers!

Bolton have yet to win at home this season, so I'm not going to back them to win, but they should get a draw against this joke of an Everton team (Reverse jinx..... Trying to say sorry Everton fans)

Football Guy's verdict 2-2

Liverpool v Manchester United

Apparently, as well as banning beachballs, about 4,000 Liverpool fans will be protesting against George Gillett and Tom Hicks Sunday before the match. Could someone please tell me why?

It's not as if they have not given Rafa money to spend -

£20m on Fernando Torres
£20m on Alberto Acquilani
£20m on Robbie Keane
£18m on Glen Johnson
£17m on Javier Mascherano

There's just five of the signings Rafa has made with their cash, surly the fans should be angry with how small a squad Rafa has assembled and that once you take two players out they seem unable to beat anybody. For me Liverpool fans it's Rafa you should be moaning about and not you owners........ Well, unless your moaning at your owners about why they have not sacked Rafa yet!

I looks as though Torres and Johnson should be back for Liverpool, Rooney and Gerrard look set to miss out for their respective clubs, I feel United have the edge and will win, but of course it will be close.

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

Manchester City v Fulham

Since Man City drew with Wigan last Sunday Fulham have beating Hull in the league and drawn with Roma in the Europa League, I think a 3rd match in six days will be a little too much for a squad that is not all that big.

City's form has been a little.... Well.... Blleerragh.... Of late. I think that's partly down to the fact they have not played at home much where they have been perfect.

I expect them to maintain that perfection and sweep away a tired Fulham side.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

West Ham v Arsenal

For some reason this match kicks off at the rather unusual time of 4.15pm. If anyone knows why please leave a comment.

I don't really like Arsenal away in a London derby, but having said that West ham are yet to win a match at home this season......... SUPER JINX.

Basically, I think it's going to be tight, a little like the Arsenal game against Fulham from a couple of weeks back but hopefully for me with the same result.

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

The Rest

Right, first off here are the Footy Doc's predictions -

Wolves 1v1 Aston Villa
Birmingham 2v1 Sunderland
Burnley 1v3 Wigan
Hull City 1v2 Portsmouth
Tottenham 2 0 Stoke City
Chelsea 3v1 Blackburn
Bolton 2v2 Everton

Liverpool 4v0 Man Utd

Man City 2v0 Fulham
West Ham 1v1 Arsenal

Next up we have JamrockRover -

Wolves 1 - 2 Aston Villa

Birmingham 1 - 2 Sunderland

Burnley 2 - 1 Wigan

Hull City 1 - 2 Portsmouth

Tottenham 2 - 1 Stoke City

Chelsea 3 - 1 Blackburn

Bolton 2 - 2 Everton

Liverpool 1 - 1 Man Utd

Man City 1 - 0 Fulham

West Ham 1 - 3 Arsenal

And finally, the SportBoys -

Wolves 0 V 2 Aston Villa

Birmingham 1 V 1 Sunderland

Burnley 2 V 1 Wigan

Hull City 1 V 2 Portsmouth

Tottenham 3 V 1 Stoke City

Chelsea 3 Blackburn 0

Bolton 2 Everton 1

Liverpool 2 Man Utd 2

Man City 2 Fulham 0

West Ham 1 Arsenal 2

Oh, and here are Lawro's as well - LINK

The End

Right peeps, just before i go I'd like to throw out a birthday greeting to a good friend of the blogs missus, Ian tell her happy B-Day from me, or don't and I will on Saturday!

Take care

Football Guy

Monday Hangover 09/10 - GW 09

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:53:40 -0500

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I've had a pretty good weekend (apart from an annoying sore throat) On Saturday it was one half of the SportBoys birthday, so I put on my glad-rags, downed a lemsip or two and went out. It was a good night, but Sunday was much better, me and the Football Gal had a Sunday Roast........ Stop those dirty thoughts, it was just food!!! Anyway, I would like to say we both cooked it but in all fairness all I did was peel the potatoes and boil the vegatables, oh and watch "Live and Let Die" which was on tv at the same time. The only downer to the weekend was the fact Everton failed to beat Wolves, which basically meant I'd have to drink my own piss......... Read weekend preview for details.......... Well, never let it be said that the Football Guy is not a man of his word! I did drink my own piss, I mixed a dribble of it in with my Lemsip and you know what? I didn't even notice it was there..........

Chelsea rocked by Villa

Well I'm happy to say I was right, Villa did get something from this match, in fact it was even more than I had thought possible.

On the whole it was rather a strange game, with a lot of errors. First off the match ref Steve Bennett was a late scratch due to flu and had to be replaced with a ref who genuinely I'd never heard off, Kevin Friend...... I'm sure I've seen him ref before but I can't believe I would not remember a ref called Kevin Friend! Anyway, it turns out he was no "Friend" of Villa's (HAHAHAHAHA...........HAHAHAHAHAHA, ain't I funny!!!!) After he turned down a clear penalty for the home side when Agbonlahor was hauled down by Bosingwa. I reckon he would have given the penalty but due to Jose being the last man it would have meant he would have had to produce a Red card as well which I think changed his mind.

It wasn't long after that that the goal scoring started, Drogba's speculative long range effort was so badly misjudged by Bred Friedal that I think he must have been wearing contact-lenses that acted like side mirrors on a car, you know how objects might be further away than they appearer....... I truly bizarre moment from the usually dependable American. If you've not seen it check it out here.

Now, Chelsea problem this season so far has been conceding the first goal, so to see them go on to lose the match after taking the lead was rather strange but yet predictable as both Villa goals came from corners where Ricardo Carvalho was nowhere to be seen. I've always rated Carvalho very highly, but he might well be suffering from the "centerback death" that Liverpool Jamie Carragher is afflicted with. When a CB loses it, they seem to lose it fast, and Ricky C at the moment seems to have lost it big time and I'd be surprised if Alex was not in the starting lineup sooner or later.

The machine that Chelsea looked like a few weeks ago seems to have disappeared but lets not get ahead of ourselves too quickly a start writing them off just yet.

Arsenal keep on scoring

It's a good time to be an Arsenal fan, the team is playing well, it's got strength in depth and it's scoring goals....... A lot of goals!!!

Coming as an Arsenal fan I'm slightly annoyed that they made hard work of a game that seemed over once they went 2-0 ahead, but a win is a win and I'm still very pleased that Arsenal seem to have finally become a team that wins the games they have to win. No draws yet against poo opposition that has hampered them in seasons gone by.

Theo looked good until he got injured again, which now has me wondering if Tomas Rosicky put a hex on him so he would not get injured anymore. I think after being out of the game for basically 18 months Rosicky called up Satan to make a deal -

Tomas - Hello can I speak Mr Satan please?

Satan - Yes this is he.

Tomas - Hi there, I hear you make deals with people which can turn their lives around and I want to make one right now!

Satan - OK, what seems to be the problem?

Tomas - I'm a professional footballer who seems to be injured all the time, I don't really know what the problem is but I've been out of the game for 18 months now and I fear I'll never play again!

Satan - Oh wait, your not Tomas Rosicky are you?

Tomas - Yes, how did you know?

Satan - Let's just say I've been expecting you for a while now....... OK here's the deal, I'll solve your injury problem, but I can't just make it go away, I have to give it to one of your team mates and that player has to be a first team player..... Not some bum in the youth team or reserves.

Tomas - Oh........ Errrrr, well I don't really want to hur......

Satan - Tomas, Tomas, Tomas........ Do you want to play again or not?

Tomas - (Thinking)............. Well OK.

Satan - Excellent, now who's it going to be?

Tomas - (Thinking)........... Errrrm (who plays in my position?) Errrrrm Theo?

Satan - Ahh, good choice. OK, it's done. Thank you, come again.

United go back top

United like Arsenal, made harder work of a game that should have been finished once they took the two goal lead.

In the end United hung on and reclaimed top spot in the Premier League.

Again United were far from their best but yet they got the job done and I have to say Fergie is a genius...... I know we knew that already, but this team looks too old in places and not good enough in others the win the league yet there they sit atop the league without really putting in a top performance this season.

I'm worried that if they can buy a player or two in January and actually really hit some form they will be pretty hard to catch. But right now I still don't think they are good enough this season to win the league (really hope I'm not proven wrong).

They have a really busy week ahead, tough trip to Moscow on Wednesday night followed by a trip to Anfield on Sunday. Let's see how they fare.

Liverpool 0 Red Balloons 1

Was it a balloon? Was it a beach ball? Was it a space hopper? Was it a Red giants testicle? For the purpose of shit jokes I'm going with a Balloon......... You don't need 99 Red Balloons when only one will do......... (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh I am funny today)

In all fairness the goal should not have stood, I believe if a foreign object interferes with the flight of the ball the goal must be disallowed, but hey, you'd think a professional ref would know that too right?

But since we are speaking of fairness Liverpool didn't really deserve much from this game anyway and had Darren Bent converted another of the host of chances he was given during the course of the match the last 15 minutes or so would not have been so nervy for Steve Bruce and his boys.

This result for the Reds basically means it's win or bust next Sunday at home against United. As it stands they are seven points back from United, they can't afford to be any further back than that I feel.

Speaking of things that I feel, I also feel this might well be Rafa's last season in charge of Liverpool. He's been there long enough and has not delivered enough and I still think he is riding on the coattails of the Champions league victory over Milan in 2005. Rafa like to go on about not having enough money to spend but the statistics show he's spent as much as Fergie has in his time over here and right now arguably has the weakest squad he's ever had.

He still has time to turn it around, by don't be surprised if Liverpool have a new boss in the next 12 months of less.

Elsewhere

Pompey like to create a lot of chances just so they can find new was of missing them, it's actually quite fun in a disturbing way...... Like watching those two twins on X-Factor..... It's Shit, but you can't help yourself.

Everton almost lose at home to Wolves, which would be like being in your last year of school and having one of the new kids beat the crap out of you in the playground. Thankfully for Everton they got away with it and even managed to get a Wolves play sent off because Tim Howard hit him.......... Good stuff.

Blackburn beat Burnley in the thriller that no one from outside Lancashire watched and City slipped up away to Wigan.

The Football Guy Prediction League

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

PR CR WR PTS

Footy Doc 3 1 5 50

Football Guy 1 5 3 50

Jamrock 1 3 5 10

Lawro 1 2 6 -10

SportBoys 0 4 5 -10

So for the second week in a row the once Kings of Football Predictions The SportBoys are bottom of the pile and have now gone two whole weeks without a perfect result....... Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Heres the complete table -

PR CR WR PTS

JamRock 12 37 36 370

Football Guy 8 45 32 370

SportBoys 11 34 40 270

Lawro 11 34 40 270

Footy Doc 11 33 41 230

So I've caught up with Jamrock who is not top on Perfect results, the SportBoys and Lawro fall further behind and have almost been caught by a charging Footy Doc who now sits just 4 points behind.

Winners and Losers

Winners

United

For going back top of the league.

Villa

For beating Chelsea

Nena

For 99 Red Balloons becoming a relevant song again.

Loser

Everton

For not beating Wolves at home.

Everton

For making the Football Guy drink his own piss.

Wolves

For being part of the reason why I had to drink my own piss.

Liverpool

For giving Red Balloons to fans.

Football Guy

For being forced to drink my own piss.........

The End

Take care,

Football Guy

Weekend Preview 09/10 - Gameweek 09

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:42:54 -0500

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are. As you may have noticed, I've not posted much of late, that's basically down to the fact I've been in complete hibernation over the last 10 days due to this horrible international break. Not only have I had to endure substandard Football, but I've also had some of my best players in my fantasy team ruled out due to picking up injuries........ Not happy to say the least. But anyway, the Premiership is back tomorrow and hopefully this will mean things get back to normal.

Aston Villa v Chelsea

I've got a feeling Villa will get something from this one, not really sure why, but I'm going to run with it.

I watched Gabby Agbonlahor put in a very unimpressive performance for England midweek and found myself asking why is he in the squad? Turns out he's scored Four goals this season! WOW, really? Even more impressive, he's scored Four goals from only Five shots!!!

Now that begs the question - Does that make him very good for being so efficient or really bad for only having five shots for Villa this season? I'm going with the latter.....

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Arsenal v Birmingham

Last time out I wondered if Birmingham's sneaky good defence could cancel out Burnley's sneaky good attack? Turns out they could not. So having factored that in Arsenal, a team that has a lot of goals in them , should spank this sorry ass team? Yep, it's that easy to work out these games sometimes......

Considering my fantasy team is missing Rooney and Gerrard I'm forced in to going with Cesc as Captain, bet he does nothing despite us scoring four......

Football Guy's verdict 4-0

Everton v Wolves

There should be some sort of nickname for a team that loses at home to a team who had lost every game it had played that season. It was inevitable that Wolves would give Pompey their first win of the season and it's inevitable that they lose tomorrow.

Everton seem to have got back on track after a slow start to the season and in all fairness, if they fail to win this match I'll drink my own piss.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Manchester United v Bolton

No I don't think Gary Megson has done awfully well since taking over at the Reebok, but I also don't think he's done that badly - So why do Bolton fans hate him? Please, if any Bolton fan reads this let me know? I know he's not great, but he's better than a lot of other poo you might well have as manager for a club your size!

Rooney is out of this one and Berba might miss out too due to the birth of his first son Berba Jr. Which means we might get to see the forgotton man of English football, Mr Michael Owen start..... Actually, what am I saying might? he will start, unfortunately for him he will probably be partnered by the sack of shit that is Danny Wellbek...... Boy is that guy poo.

United should win, but it might now be as easy as you first thought.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Portsmouth v Tottenham

Pompey finally got a win last time out! A new beginning or a false dawn? I'm going with false dawn..... They are still going down.

Spurs ruined my theory that they lose to good teams and beat bad teams by drawing against Bolton...... In fact they were quite lucky to walk away with just a draw.

Things should go back to normal this week, Spurs will beat a crap team and you can't get much crapper than Pompey.

Football Guy's verdict 1-3

Stoke v West Ham

I'm not really a big fan of backing against Stoke when they play teams that are similar to them in quality and considering that West Ham are not playing all that well it means I can only go with a home win.

I'm not really all that interested in what happens in this one and it might well be the last game on the Match of the Day line up Saturday night.

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Sunderland v Liverpool

I was impressed with Sunderland two weeks ago at Old Trafford and I'm still not really sure how they failed to win it. So the prospect of Liverpool at home should not be all that daunting after that.

Also the fact the Liverpool will be without Gerrard and Torres means that I might even have to make the Black Cat's favourites for this one.

I've been pretty unimpressed with Liverpool so far this season and I don't fancy betting them to win a tough away game without their beat two players.

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Blackburn v Burnley

These are games Blackburn just have to win and games Burnley can afford to lose if they can keep winning at home.

I actually think Blackburn will win this one quite comfortably and that's really all I have to say about it.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Wigan v Manchester City

City have had a lot of players flying all over the world over the last 10 days or so due to the international break, will be interesting to see if it affects them?

To be fair I don't really think it will and they should get back to winning ways.

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

Fulham v Hull

Hull picked up a massive win against Wigan away last time out, don't expect them to pick up another one anytime soon.

Fulham are a good side, who really should deal with Hull and the more games Hull lose the quicker Phil Orange will get fired and the quicker all the worlds problems should get solved.

Football Guy's verdict 3-1

The Rest

Right, first off here are the Footy Doc's predictions -

Aston Villa1 v 0 Chelsea

Arsenal 3v1 Birmingham

Everton 3v0 Wolves

Man Utd 2v1 Bolton

Portsmouth 1v1 Tottenham

Stoke City 1v2 West Ham

Sunderland 0v1 Liverpool

Blackburn 3v2 Burnley

Wigan1 v2 Man City

Fulham 3v0 Hull City

Next up we have JamrockRover -

Aston Villa 1 - 1 Chelsea

Arsenal 3 - 0 Birmingham

Everton 2 - 0 Wolves

Man Utd 3 - 1 Bolton

Portsmouth 1 - 1 Tottenham

Stoke City 2 - 1 West Ham

Sunderland 2 - 2 Liverpool

Blackburn 2 - 0 Burnley

Wigan 1 - 2 Man City

Fulham 3 - 1 Hull City

And finally, the SportBoys -

Aston Villa v Chelsea 1-1

Arsenal v Birmingham 3-0

Everton v Wolves 2-0

Man Utd v Bolton 2-0

Portsmouth v Tottenham 1-1

Stoke 2 West Ham 0

Sunderland 1 Liverpool 2

Blackburn 3 Burnley 1

Wigan 1 Man City 3

Fulham 1 Hull City 0

Oh, and here are Lawro's as well - LINK

The End

Next week should be fun, but first lets hope this weekend is better.

Take care

Football Guy