Hello one and all, here's wishing you a happy new year. As you may have noticed, I've not posted anything for about nine days or so. "Lazy Bum!" I hear you cry, well not exactly... I've been entertaining four friends from Croatia who were visiting London for the first time and staying at casa del Football Guy. Now, I'm not sure if you have ever tried being a tour guide and drinking partner for seven straight day's before but let me assure you, I didn't have much time for anything else! And besides, all we've had since I last spoke to you all is some silly 3rd round FA Cup ties which, apart from Manchester City's humbling at the hands of Nottingham Forrest, didn't really spring too many surprises.

Football Guy v Mark Lawrenson

Time for a quick recap on how the last round of my ongoing battle with Lawro went. Lawro's predictions here and mine are here.

Last Week

Football Guy - PS 1 CR 7 WR 3

Lawro           - PS 1 CR 6 WR 4

Like I said in my predictions, I wish I had had the balls to go with a draw for the Fulham Chelsea match as I was proved right! Dam my lack of testicles...

Fantasy Football

Quick recap 

Rafa still hate's Fantasy Football, after scoring twice on Boxing Day Robbie Keane was the 3rd most transferred in player for the last round of games, so what does Rafa do? Drops him from Liverpool's 5-1 drubbing of Newcastle. I've said it before about Rafa, you have four definates who if fit Rafa is sure to play (Gerrard, Torres, Carragher and Reina) the rest are select at your own risk.

Did you know that since Fat Sam has taken over at Blackburn, Jason Roberts has scored 24 points in those three games? To put that in to context, it took Roberts the previous 17 weeks to amass 31 points. Maybe J-Rob should be on your January sales shopping list.

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence

1. Steven Gerrard - 18pts 

 

Stevie G has been on a right tear up over the last 5 weeks where he has managed to score 55 points at an average of 11 per week. That's the kind of form we've come to expect from C-Ron over the last couple of seasons and it's by far Gerrard's best spell of the year. Is it time to sell Ronaldo and go with a Gerrard+Lampard combo? I wouldn't give it the green light just yet, but if I were over 100 points behind the leader of my league I'd be seriously considering it.

Power Rankings

In The Thick of it 20th - 12th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosey.

This section seems to be getting bigger and bigger each time we visit the Power Rankings!

PR 20th (20th) - PL 20th (20th)  WBA

You know what happens when your bottom at Christmas right? You go down, apart from that one time West Brom managed it... You'd think that anything Brian Robson can do as a manager most people can do better but yet somehow 15 other managers have tried and failed in the Premiership era where Captain Marvel has succeeded... Don't worry Baggies, if the Homer Simpson of Management could save you I'm sure Tony Mowbury must have some chance right?

PR 19th (16th) - PL 18th (12th) Stoke

I'm not sure I've disliked a team more for pure Footballing reasons than I have this Stoke side. Even the evil old Bolton teams than Fat Sam created had a bit of skill and flair. Unfortunately not this Stoke side who are basically a Championship side on steroids. They will push, shove, bruise and foul you for 90 minutes and then some. That's not how football is meant to be played and I think they are the only side at the moment who plays without any flair in the Premier League (unless you count 50 yard throws).

PR 18th (11th) - PL 17th (8th) Middlesbrough

The last time I did the Power Rankings was the 14th of November, the last time Boro won a league game was the 9th of November. That's Eight games without a league win and that's why they have slipped from 11th to 18th in the Power Rankings. Their big problem over these eight games has been goals, they have only managed Four of them over this poor run and is definitely something Southgate needs to address and fast!

PR 17th (12th) - PL 19th (15th) Blackburn

I do remember writing last time I did a Power Rankings -

"It's strange to think that the team with currently the worst defence is not bottom of the league"

Well we all know what happened after that comment and (thankfully for Blackburn) had Paul Ince still been in charge I'm sure they would be bottom of the league right now. Now despite my general dislike for Fat Sam, I do however respect that he knows what he's doing in these parts of the league (after all it's not rocket science) and I'm 99% sure he will keep Rovers up.

PR 16th (9th) - PL 16th (16th) Tottenham Hotspur

It seems I may have been a tad generous in my placement of Tottenham last time round. Not only did I have them 9th but also in the "Hunt for Europe" section... Well when your wrong you say your wrong and I was most definitely wrong and am very angry at myself for it.

Question - What happened to high scoring, fun Tottenham from last season? They managed to score Four in One trip to the Emirates yet from Ten home games they have only manged Seven poxy goals. Last season there were a whopping 80 goals scored at White Hart Lane which was by far the most and worked out to a massive 4.2 goals per game, this season WHL is on pace for 25 goals... If your going to be crap, at least be entertaining!

PR 15th (18th) - PL 15th (19th) Sunderland

Maybe Ricky Sbragia should not have taken the job permanently as his first game after taking the post full time was also his first loss. More worryingly for the Mackems is the fact Ricky seems to think Micheal Chopra is a Premiership player! And here's us thinking he knew what he was doing. 

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and allow him the chance to show what he's made of, decent stuff so far.

PR 14th (7th) - PL 12th (9th) Portsmouth

Pompey are very lucky to be this high in the Power Rankings and now thinking about it, should be a lot lower. Thankfully for them I'm willing to give Tony Adams ONE more month to show me he knows what he's doing cos so far it seems like he does not.

One win in their last Eight games is a good way to get yourself relegated and to make matters worse, your star striker Jermain Defoe has apparently received death threats from your own fans... I bet it was this guy, he's always looked like a creep to me.

(BTW - If I wanted to leave a club and not look like the bad guy, I too would say the fan's had threatened to kill me)

PR 13th (17th) - PL 14th (18th) Newcastle

So hold on a minute, is Michael Owen staying or going? He owes them another year right?

But wait just a second, is Shay Given Staying or Going? Newcastle owe him the chance to leave and play for a club with real chance to win something right?

hey, how about Mike Ashley, selling or staying? He owes the Newcastle fans a proper owner who does not take the club he want to sell off the market just because nobody is stupid enough to pay what he paid for the club right?

Newcastle - Where nothing is straight forward.

PR 12th (14th) - PL 11th (11th) Bolton

Have you ever noticed how crap Bolton's badge is, it kind of reminds me a little of this badge.

Quirky stat about Bolton - No score draws this season.

Their next two games are tough, Arsenal away, Manchester United home, but after that they have a run nine games stretching till April that I'm sure they will feel they can win and I think they should pick up enough points over that period to see themselves safe for another year.

Looking over their Shoulder 12th -10th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

PR 11th (10th) - PL 8th (6th) Hull

The Tigers have now lost three straight in the league which equals their worst run this season. The problem is their next two games are Everton away and Arsenal at home, which could easily see them end up with a five game losing streak and them slip further down the table.

Having said that I still think Hull will be OK this season, but I do think they will end up closer to the drop than most people think.

PR 10th (15th) - PL 10th (14th) West Ham

I probably should have put the Hammers further down the list as they are likely to lose quite a few key players during January.

Mind you, if they can keep them they'll most like finish where they stand now, somewhere in mid-table.

Question - Is Gianfranco Zola the most universally like ex-Chelsea player ever?

PR 9th (19th) - PL 7th (17th) Wigan

Back in November when Wigan were 17th in the League I wrote -

"I don't get why Wigan are not getting more points. Thay have some very good players in Zaki, Heskey and Valencia yet can't seem to win games thay should"

I'll be honest people, it feel good to be right, especially with a team you would like to see do well. I've said before that I like Steve Bruce as a manager, I just hope he can keep a hold of his key players until the end of the season and build from there.

PR 8th (13th) - PL 9th (10th) Fulham

Forget Hull, Fulham have supprised me the most this season. I was sure they were going down, didn't see any other secnario and yet here they are 9th in the League with a by FAR better defensive record than either Arsenal or Aston Villa.

I'm not going to go as far as to say they are safe just yet, but by next months Power Rankings they could be.

Your Season Ended in August

This is for those teams who will end up in mid table mediocrity, who's fans barring a cup run will have very little to get excited about. Hence, your season ended in August.

PR 7th (8th) - PL 13th (13th) Manchester City

Slightly controversial I know given their current form a League position but seriously, who really believes City will go down?

I'm sure if I gave you the choice between backing City to go down for £1m or them finish at least 10 points clear of relegation for £10k you chose the second option right? If I'm wrong you are a bigger fool than I.

Question - How did Wayne Bridge become more expensive over the last five year despite warming Chelsea's bench for most of them?

That was a question asked of me by one of my buddies from the SportBoys, if you've never read there stuff be sure to check it out.

In the Hunt for Europe 6th 

For those who are looking at a UEFA cup spot but not quite top 4 spot.

PR 6th (6th) - PL 6th (7th) Everton

Do I believe Aston Villa can break into the top four? Yes. Do I also believe Everton can finish above Villa? Yes.

Everton can for me most certainly catch Villa and come 5th, but to do so their going to need some more fire power up front as Cahill, Arteta and Lescott can't do it all.

Hopefully Saha will be back soon (and then injured again) which will help easy the pressure on their beleaguered strike force.

Fourth Spot Chasers  4th

I think you can guess what that means.

PR 5th (5th) - PL 4th (5th) Aston Villa

Had Villa taken their chance on Boxing Day, beaten Arsenal and gone six point clear of them instead of snatching a late point and being only three points ahead I would have bumped them up one place in the Power Rankings.

Alas for them they stay fifth for now, but that could all change soon enough as they have a pretty favorable run of fixtures coming up that, if they seriously think they can get 4th spot they have to win.

PR 4th (4th) - PL 5th (3rd) Arsenal  

The Arsenal Transfer Funds Mystery -

28/11/2008 - Arsenal have money to spend

02/01/2009 - Arsenal have "no" money to spend

Question - What happened in those 34 days? Peter Hill-Wood + Gala Casino = no transfer funds

Title Chasers 3rd - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

PR 3rd (1st) - PL 2nd (1st) Chelsea

So for the first time this season Chelsea drop from the top spot down to 3rd.

There's only so many time's you can slip up at home and get away with it, since the last Power Rankings were published Chelsea have managed just one home league win from four matches.

Also in store for them in the second half of the season are trips to Villa Park, The Emirates, Anfield and this weekends trip to Old Trafford. That's a lot of potential dropped points right there.

PR 2nd (3rd) - PL 3rd (4th) Manchester United

I've been scratching my head wondering what the hell is up with United attack? Then I realized... Nothing! It's the same as it was last year apart from the fact C-Ron is not bailing them out each week and on pace to score 256 goals in the season.

In fact C-Ron's influence on the United attack is so great that in the six league games he has gone without scoring united have failed to score more than one in all of them and the last three times United managed to score more than one goal in a league match C-Ron scored at least two goals in each of them.

Question - How good are United without Ronaldo scoring every week? Not as good as we thought!

PR 1st (2nd) - PL 1st (2nd) Liverpool

Hopefully now that I've finally put Liverpool atop the Power Rankings all the threats of burglary from scousers will stop.

Fair play to Liverpool who have managed to open up a three point gap at the top of the League despite having one of the worlds best strikers out for big chunks of the season so far.

Now with Torres seemingly back, Liverpool need to take full advantage and press on in their pursuit of their first title in 19 years.

Final Thought

Three of the last four teams top of the league at Christmas have gone on to win the League. The one that failed was last season Arsenal, I shall no proceed to set myself on fire...

Take care

Football Guy 

Hey ho everyone, it's time for a Tuesday Monday Hangover. It had nothing to do with me being lazy or forgetting. I had a electronic problem, namely my computer was messing me around in a very VERY annoying way. Basically what happened was that about two minutes after I would turn the sucker on it decided to switch itself off, which in turn made it virtually impossible for me to do anything about it, so I had to wipe everything and start again!

Needless to say, once I was done with that I was in no mood to write and had a lot of other stuff on so hence, I come to you today.

Weekend Winners

Aston Villa

Another good weekend for the Villans which saw them move to within five point of leader Liverpool and three points ahead of Arsenal who's game on Boxing day at Villa park should prove to be an intriguing match to say the least. In fact it's a bit like a delayed Xmas present and as I don;t think I shall be getting much this year I'm looking at it as my "Thing" to look forward to (despite being very worried about the possibility Arsenal might end up six point behind them).

Manchester United

United not only won the World Club Championship over the weekend, they also won ground in the title race as their main rivals (other than Villa who I don;t think their to concerned about) all slipped up. United now have two games in hand, both at home, which if they win will see them go level on points with Chelsea and one point behind Liverpool with both having to visit Old Trafford in the New Year. SPOILER ALERT - With this month power rankings coming up next week you might see United on top... Maybe.

Ricky Sbragia

Yes folks, the man with the name I can't pronounce has turn Sunderland's fortunes around it seem and has put himself surly in pole position for the job on a permanent basis. After almost stealing a point at United they have go on to crush both West Brom and Hull, team's which Manchester City can;t seem to figure out. Speaking of which...

Weekend Losers

Manchester City

If you can;t beat West Brom then who can you beat? I'm still not going to go as far as to say it's a crisis at Eastlands but there are certainly some big problems that I'm sure £50-60m will sort out. The only question is if Sparky will be given the chance to sort them out.

Football Guy

Yep, I had my first losing week in my battle with the BBC's Mark Lawrenson. Let's take a look at what went down.

Football Guy v Mark Lawrenson

As was quite correctly pointed out to me by my mate Amer, I had made a mistake in calculating the points last week. I had given perfect score three points but also gave them one point for being a correct result which basically meant I was give four points for a perfect score which it way too much.

Anyway that has been rectified this week. I managed only Three correct results, all coming on Saturday, where as Lawro had Four correct results with One perfect score. For a full check on how Lawro did click here.

This Week

Football Guy - PS 0 CS 3 WR 7

Lawro           - PS 1 CS 4 WR 6

Season

                         PS - CS - WR - Pts

Football Guy     3     14     16     20

Lawro               3     12     18     18

Well at least I'm still in the lead, although I not happy at all with the gap I have. Will have to make sure I have a good festive period.

Fantasy Football

The only player you realistically would have made captain that done anything

1. Robin Van Persie - 10pts

Players you wish you had made captain but never would

1. Steed Malbranque - 16pts
2. Danny Murphy       - 14pts
3. Matty Taylor          - 13pts

Players who scored more points this week than they had combined in past X weeks

1. Benni  McCarthy - 12pts - more than past 8 weeks combined
2. Jason Roberts    - 10pts - more than past 6 weeks combined
3. Roman Bednar   - 8pts   - more than past 6 weeks combined

Super-Duper goalkeepers

1. Brad Friedel - 11pts
2. Petr Cech    - 10pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for Fantasy Football Excelence

1. Steed Malbranque - 16pts

Steed has now scored 39 points in the last 6 gameweek's which works out to 6.5 a week, despite that his value has dropped by .1m, figure that one out?

Final Thoughts

As you may have noticed, there is no Youtube or pictures this week due to some lingering problems I'm still experiencing with my computer. I'm sure I shall have those fixed in the coming days and things will be back on track in no time, until then.

Take Care

Football Guy

So I'm back with my 4th, that's right 4TH column of the week! How lucky you all are...

Were back with the regular Weekend Preview were I take on the BBC's Mark Lawrenson in his Lawro's Predictions column on the net.

But before we get to that I had a thought this week that was more a question and it turned into one that I had no answer for. What is that question I hear you ask?

If C-Ron is the best player in the Premiership, then who is the second?

hmm, I really could not say. I guess most people would go with Gerrard, Lampard or Cesc, but for me Torres, Drogba, Rooney and Berbatov have to figure in the discussion as well as Ashley Young and Robinho.

It's defiantly an interesting question and one that I might have to attempt to answer in the new year.

I think the problem with the question is that for me there is no definitive answer, it all depends on from what perspective your looking from and how you value one players impact over another.

Anyway, I'll get back to this in a couple of weeks time.

On to this weeks picks, as always, I'm picking these without looking at what Lawro has picked and for what it's worth, you have my word I didn't peek.

Blackburn v Stoke

Unfortunately for me there is no early Saturday kick-off where I have a 100% record in guessing the score, BOO.

Instead we have another one of those bunch of 3pm games which look horrible. This one see's the return of the walrus who, despite me disliking very much, is going to be a good thing for a Blackburn team in crisis after having Paul Ince try to convince them that players who were good enough for AFC Wimbledon were also good enough for Blackburn (well I guess considering the direction he was taking them maybe they would be in six months time).

I think the walrus will have an immediate effect and I'm tempted to say their going to keep a clean sheet as well (then I realize he's not a miracle worker).

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

 

Bolton v Portsmouth

I've had a few email's in recent weeks accusing me of being a tad harsh on Tony Adams, so in response to that I will say that they were in no way deserving of the 3-0 beat down they received at home to Newcastle and had Jermaine Defoe not turned into Dave Nugent it might well have been 3-0 to the home side.

Bolton's good run of form ended last week away to top four challengers Aston Villa. Bolton have actual picked up more points away from home this season then they have at the Reebok, with goal scoring being their biggest problem (only six in eight games).

I say low scoring draw.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Fulham v Middlesbrough

Fulham, the best home team in London. Does not sound right does it? But regardless of how it sound's, it's true and I think it will continue (which mean's knowing Boro they will win).

I do think this is the best of the 3pm games and I shall be watching over the internet expecting some good footballing action.

Boro are a dangerous team to back against if you feel confident they will lose as I have documented before.

So with that said I'm quite ready to eat my words when they beat Fulham on Saturday.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Hull v Sunderland

Sunderland bounced back in terrific style last week with a 4-0 pounding of West Brom and the week before were about 90 seconds away from getting a point at Old Trafford.

Hull keep proving the doubters wrong and I feel they should keep there unbeaten run going (5 games).

It would be a nice boost to my fantasy team if Giovanni could score this week. Please Gio, all I ask is one goal, come one, that's not too much to ask is it?

Football Guy's verdict 3-1

West Ham v Aston Villa

You know that Villa will most likely be either 3-4 points ahead of Arsenal or 4-5 points behind Liverpool come Sunday night. I think until proven otherwise Villa must be taken as serious challengers for a top 4 finish (Just don;t let Ashley Young do anything in this game, thanks)

The hammers put in a good performance at Stamford Bridge last week, but considering Chelsea's home form this year it's not really that big of a deal.

Is there anyone on West Ham's team you like for fantasy purposes? Because I can't think of one player from there team I would consider bringing in to mine.

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

West Brom v Manchester City

It's good that we finally have a team we can say are definitely the worst in the Premiership this season. had Blackburn not sacked Paul Ince and brought in the Walrus we might still be undecided but now we have a clear favorite, that's the status you get when Sunderland whoop you 4-0.

Did you know that in all competitions City have failed to win their last five games? If sparky does not address that soon he might well be the next manager in the dole Que. I'm sure if he can make it to January and strengthen the area's they need work on he should be just fine. It's also good for him he has a VERY winnable game this week.

Football Guy's verdict 0-3

Newcastle v Tottenham

What's going on with Tottenham's defense? It's been a shambles now for the last 18 months or so, yet they have managed 3 clean sheets in their last 4 league games. Might be time to start looking at Spurs defenders as viable options for your fantasy team.

Speaking of defenses, Newcastle too have had a remarkable improvement in that department of last also picking up clean sheets in 3 of their last 4 games. The world seems the little bit more strange.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Arsenal v Liverpool

Undoubtedly the weekends biggest game. Arsenal definitely need the win more than Liverpool who, if they look at this reasonably, would be happy with a point from this one.

Apparently Arsenal will have Samir Nasri back for this one which is very good news for the Gunners as he seems to be incapable of scoring anywhere apart from the Emirates and also has a knack for scoring important goals (Winner against West Brom, Both in win over United and equalizer v Everton).

It also mean that Arsene wont have to play the 4 central midfielder midfield, which give Arsenal less width than a hooker's back alley.

The big question with Liverpool will be who they start up front? With out doing any research and only using my memory I seem to remember Robbie Keane having quite a decent record against Arsenal, though I might be wrong.

Will Rafa put his faith in his £20 front man? Or will it be sloth spearheading the attack once more?

I say since Arsenal have already beaten 2 of the 3 Big Four by a 2-1 score line that they will do so again (finger's crossed).

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Everton v Chelsea

Lastly we have Monday nights game which see's Chelsea looking for a 9th straight win away from home this season where they have also only conceded 1 goal.

As long as Chelsea make sure they keep an eye on Cahill and Lescott they should be alright as I can't see Everton scoring more than 1 in this game. Chelsea have managed 21 goals so far away from home in 8 games which is a top return in anyone's book's.

Note to Lampard - F%@KING SCORE YOU FAT C@&T, MY FANTASY TEAM NEEDS IT.

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

Final thoughts

With C-Ron of in the land of the rising sun, who will you have as your fantasy teams captain this week?

Take care

Football Guy

Hello all, as some of you may know, it's my birthday today! Woohoo, what does that mean for you? Nothing much but next week I will have a few birthday treats for you.

In Europe this weekend see one of the biggest derby games in the world. It is of course "El Clasico". What a name, "The Classic". Could there be a better name for a derby match?

Well if you do a little research it turns out that in latin America all derby's are called "Clasico BLANK" or some sort of variation of that. My favorotie might well be Peru's "Superclasico" between Alianza Lima and Univertitario. There is no hoilding back with that name. The Super Classic, say's it all really and much better the what we have here in the UK of generic (INSERT LOCATION derby) I guess the Old Firm does sound quite cool.

So it got me thinking what other names do countries attack to there biggest football rivalries?

In Croatia the biggest game of the year is when Hajduk Split take on Dinamo Zagreb in what Croats call the Vječni Derbi which means "Eternal Derby"

In Denmark F.C. Copenhagen v Brondby is called the New Firm and I would love to know why? Hardly original. I do love the fact that all other major derbies in the land of bacon are called battles, like the Battle of Jutland which pits Aalborg (Who had quite a phsycal battle with United on Wednesday) take on Aarhus for supremacy of Jutland. I'm quite surprised we don't have a "Battle" game in England, I think it would be cool if we did and in fact from now on I'm going to refer to all major derbies as battles. Battle of Manchester sounds much better than Manchester Derby!

The French too have a battle game, when Caen play Le Harve it called the "Battle of Normandy" which is a good way to sell the game. If someone asked me if a wanted to watch Caen v Le Harve I'd probably say no but, if asked if I wanted to watch the "Battle of Normandy"I might think twice.

In Greece you have the Derby of eternal enemies (which sounds like a poor 1970's martial arts film) between Olympiacos and Panathinaikos and in contrast to super cool name you have Egaleo v Atromitos who have the unfortunate luck of having their derby called "Derby of the poor ones". What a kick in the teeth that must be, sounds like a street fight between two hobo's.

I think the most ridicules one might be when Holland's Den Haag and Ajax square off it's called the brilliantly stupid "Seat of Government vs Capital derby". Much to big of a mouthful even though it's good in a carzy unique sort of way. I'm sure it sound's better in Dutch.

Now the Poles have a gooden, it's played between Caracovia and Wisla Krakow and is called Święta Wojna. Care to take a guess what that means? "The Holy War", screw a battle, Caracovia and Wisla Krakow do not do mundane battles, they fight Holy Wars! Not only does the victor get bragging right , they gat to convert the rivals fans to their religion until the next time they square off. Great name.

Unfortunately for all the great named derbies there has to be at least on crap name and I'm sorry Venezuela but, "Clasico de las Autopista" between Carabobo (great name) and Araqua is by far the worst. In English it  means "The Motorway Derby". Motorway Derby? MOTORWAY DERBY! That is a poo name for a derby although if your team name is Carabobo maybe you need other poo names to distract people from you equally poo name.

On to this weekends games.

As you know I'm doing battle with Mark Lawrenson and his picks. As suggested by a friend of mine Amer, I will be picking the results without see what Lawro has had to say so as not to influence my decision

Last week I got six correct results to Lawro's five, I got two perfect scores to Lawro's one and we four and five wrong respectively.

Football Guy 6-2-4

Lawro           5-1-5

 

Middlesbrough v Arsenal

There used to be a time when Arsenal would dish out two beatings a year to Boro and by beatings I mean beatings. The Gunners would score around four to six goals a match against them. That was a long time ago now and so much so that Arsenal have won at Old Trafford, Anfield and Stamford Bridge more recently then they have won at the Riverside.

I read somewhere the other day that Gareth Southgate had laughed off a rumor about Tuncay going to Chelsea for £8m, I too laugh and am glad to see Gareth has a sense of humor about stories that are either completely false or Chelsea are complete dumbasses. Surely you could find a better striker than Tuncay for £8m? That same price might net you Michael Owen who like Tuncay likes to spend his time in the treatment room but manages to at least score a few when playing.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Aston Villa v Bolton

I'd like Ashley Young to refrain from having a super game two weeks in a row because his antics last weekend against Everton hurt my fantasy football team. Villa have had a couple of hiccups in games like these lately that they should be winning (See Fulham at home a few weeks back).

Bolton are flying high at the moment and have a nice five point cushion from the drop zone. They have also had four wins away from home which is double the amount they have had at the Reebok. They also have four losses away and I think they will add to that tomorrow

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Liverpool v Hull

I've had a few friends tell me how they think Hull will get a result from this game. I say don't be silly. Whilst Hull have preformed well away against the big teams this season (Liverpool have also had some blips at home) I don't think that will continue this week.

I've said before that I believe Rafa hates fantasy football and will say it again. Why after playing Daniel Agger first team has he decided to drop him for a guy Rafa didn't deam good enough to make Liverpool's Champion League squad? It has to be to spite fantasy football managers who brought in Agger (like me two games ago) dam you Rafa.

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Manchester City v Everton

That was a tough loss for Everton last week. I don't think under any circumstances should you lose a game after equalizing in the 93rd minute. On the plus side for Everton it was good to see Lescott rediscover his scoring touch as the Toffees have no front men and need someone to bang in some goals. A bit poor the need a Klingon defender to that for them.

How many more bad results do you think it will take before Mark Hughes job becomes very unsafe? I say that if they don't start preforming soon it might be a new manager as well as new players that come in in January.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

Stoke v Fulham

Stoke will for the second week running be playing one of the two other teams than themselves that have failed to win away from home this season.

It's not just that Fulham have failed to win away that worrying, it's the two goals scored on their travels that is the real problem. Can't win if you don't score.

Stoke have been very good at home this season. They have actually picked up more points at home than Chelsea, Aston Villa and Everton, pretty good going. Mamady Sidibe seems to be getting alot of good press in the fantasy football world, not a bad pick up if you need a cheep striker.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Sunderland v West Brom

OMG, what a bad game. The proverbial six pointer. Both teams need a win and funnily enough I feel West Brom have been playing the better football of late it just does not seem to be doing them any good (good sign of going down)

It's a massive game for both teams and especially for Sunderland who are at home a will feel they need the result to stop the bleeding. 

I really want to say a draw but I think Suderland will pull this one out.

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Tottenham v Manchester United

It looks as though Berbatov might be out of his return to White Hart Lane if this mornings rumors are to be believed and if he is, it means United's attack will be seriously depleted as Rooney is suspended for this game.

I guess it's not all that bad for United as it means Tevez will step in. It was he who scored a very late equalizer for United to salvage a point last season in the same fixture.

Spurs seem to be on a run of late of win one lose one. They won last week so...

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

Wigan v Blackburn

Another six pointer and if the result goes the wrong way for Blackburn, could be Paul Ince's last game in charge.

Blackburn just can't keep a clean sheet to save their lives and considering they really need to win this game will surely will leave gaps at the back for Zaki to expose.

Wigan seemed to have changed persona's of late, earlier in the season I felt they were playing well but not winning (Like their game last week at the Emirates) but of late they have not been playing that well but have been getting results (like at home to West Brom)

Football Guy's verdict 2-1

Chelsea v West Ham

I heard a rumor this week Arsenal might be looking to buy Matthew Upson and West Ham will sell due to the precarious finances. Would not surprise me.

Chelsea have not put in a good performance in a while but I'm sure will be buoyed by the fact Drogba looked good midweek. He is so important to Chelsea if they are to win they league this year.

Lampard could also do with a goal and it's always a good bet for a player to score against his old team. I know my fantasy football team has it's fingers crossed that it happens.

Football Guy's verdict 3-0

Portsmouth v Newcastle

Newcastle, tisk tisk. How do you throw away a two goal lead at home to Stoke? Poor...

Tony Adams is still looking for his first home win as Pompy manager, I feel he might have to wait a little while longer.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Final Thoughts

I've just noticed after looking back over my predictions that there is not one 0-0 in there. Should be a good weekend of action.

Take care

Football Guy

So, all four of the "Big Four" managed to win during the same weekend for the first time in what seems like forever (It was actually the 18th of October). Although it must be said that none of the victories were that convincing other than perhaps Chelsea who after taking an early two goal lead never looked back.

Speaking of Chelsea, what's happened to Frank Lampard's goals? He has not scored since November 1st in the league (Only one assist in that time) and even if it's not hurting Chelsea too much, it is hurting my fantasy team quite a bit. I'm sure Fat Frank will regain his scoring tough soon but just in case, could whoever is officiating their home game against West Ham next Sunday please make sure Chelsea get a penalty, it's always a good way to start you scoring again.

Arsenal Fan's

Good job gunner's. I have to had it to you, you really know how to make your own players feel unwelcome. Opposition fan's used to mock "Highbury the Library" due to that lack of noise the home crowd made and despite almost double the attendance at the Emirates, Arsenal fans are still rightly mocked for the lack of noise they generate. I think they all went a long way to disprove those accusations on Saturday against Wigan, as they showed, they might not be loud in Supporting their players but when it comes to Booing their players they can be as loud as you like.

Once again, Good Job.

A game of two halves

Watching Match of the Day on Saturday night I felt that the highlights of the Newcastle Stoke game really emphasized that old saying. What happened to Newcastle in the second half? For that matter where were Stoke in the first?

Weekend in Pictures

• No doubt Arsene is looking at signing at least three of these five
• Gayest aerial challenge ever
• This was red last week
• Remember me? I can still score!
• Opinions divided
• New PR photo

 

Football Guy v Mark Lawrenson

As those who read my weekend preview column on Friday will know, I will be going up against Lawro (Or "Robo" as my friend Amer kept calling him the other day, seriously Amer, what made you call him Robo?)and his weekly predictions that he does for the BBC website to see who the better man is. With one game remaining tonight, let's take a look at how we both did over the weekend.

Correct Results

1. Football Guy - 6
2. Lawro           - 4

Perfect Scores

1. Football Guy - 2
2. Lawro           - 1

Totals

                       CR   PS  WR

Football Guy    6      2     3

Lawro              4      1     5

Good start for me and I expect this to continue as the season progresses.

Fantasy Football

Players you wish you had not made captain

1. Robin Van Persie - 1pt
2. Wayne Rooney    - 1pt
3. Dimitar Berbatov  - 2pts
4. Jermaine Defoe    - 2pts

Players you should have made captain

1. Ashley Young    - 15pts - Thanks Tom for not making him captain
2. Michael Own     - 13pts
3. Nemanja Vidic   - 12pts
4. Jose Bosingwa  - 11pts
5. Deco                 - 11pts
6. Steven Gerrard - 10pts

Players you wish you had made captain but never would

1. Joleon Lescott        - 14pts
2. Jonathan Greening - 10pts
3. Jimmy Bullard          - 9pts
4. Alex Song                - 9pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for Fantasy Football Excelence

1. Ashley Young - 15pts

My only real rival in my fantasy league had him, needless to say I was not amused at his performance this week. He managed two points less than my five man midfield combined.

Things we found out this weekend

1. Arsenal fan's are quite, apart from when they boo one of their own players.

2. Everton don't need to bring in another striker in January, just play Lescott up front and all will be fine. He is quite obviously better in the oppositions box than his own as shown by how badly Ashley Young roasted him for the winner.

3. Norwich are better than Ipswich, bet you didn't see that coming!

You Tube

This one has been doing the round lately on the net. It's a clip of an Arabian footballer who (from what I gather) has some sort of seizure and starts doing back flips and all sort. Quite an amazing clip

Another clip you might have see is the Karate Baby. This kid scares the crap out of me!

World of Warcrafts greatest ever player shows us his battle skills. LEEEROOOOOYYY MMMJJEEEENNKIIINSSSSS

Final Thoughts

Next time you ask a friend or family member to do something they can do but in a way they are not used too (Like for example cook pasta but from a recipe they have never cooked before). Now when they mess up, be sure to BOO them really loudly, I'm sure that will help them preform better in the future.

Take Care

Football Guy 

 

I went into a pub for some beers last night and got very drunk and have a MASSIVE hangover. I think my hangover is worse due to the fact I had to listen to some guy who tried to argue how Cantona was better than Zidane! I was going to tell him to piss off straight away but he suckered me in by buying me a pint and so I felt obliged to talk to him for the remainder of my drink. A pint of Carlsberg is by no means worth the crap I had to listen. I wont go in to the details of his argument as it was pointless then and still is now, needless to say I wont be accepting drinks from him in the near future.

On to this weekends games.

Aston Villa v Fulham

My buddy Pete has missed out on 19 points from Martin Laursen over the last two weeks by not starting him in his Fantasy team, I guess I understand why he did not play him as they were playing Arsenal away and Man Utd at home. The four points Villa picked up in those two games have gone a long way in improving their belief they can make it in to the top four this season. They also kept two clean sheets in both games so I would be funny if they failed to keep one tomorrow, I think they should. Fulham played pretty well against Liverpool at Anfield and in particular Mark Schwarzer who I had on my Fantasy teams bench and missed out on his 11 point haul, he will again be on my bench and Villa should win this one.

Middlesbrough v Newcastle

Remember me telling you last week Bolton would beat Boro? I hope you stuck a large sum of money on that @3/1. If not I can't blame you, my betting tips have been up and down of late and unfortunately more down than up! Newcastle "parked the bus" so to speak at Stamford Bridge but I don't think they will be doing that tomorrow. I feel a Score Draw @ 3/1 would be a good bet.

Stoke v Hull

Tony Puliss made a statement yesterday about how he "Hopes for a big name casualty" to go down this season so his Stoke side can stay up....... Well Tony, I hope to win the lottery each week too but hope only goes so far. Instead of hoping, how about playing more like Hull and amounting 40+ points by the end of May and you wont have to hope someone else f**** up.

Sunderland v Bolton

There are some very horrible games on Saturday and this ones no exception. Roy Keane will celebrate 100 games incharge on Saturday and here is what he had to say:

"It's a little milestone but it's just a number, there are a lot of managers out there who have in excess of 1,000 games."

"Clearly, I'm still learning my trade (CLEARLY). I've made plenty of mistakes (Yes you have) but I'm positive that we can improve and get better over the course of the season (I'm not so sure)."

It does feel like Sunderland have not won in a long time but in reality it's only been two weeks. Although if they fail to win this one I don't think they will be able to rite the ship next week as the travel to Old Trafford so thy best make hay while the sun shines.

Wigan v West Brom

So to round up arguably the worst bunch of Saturday games this season we have arguably the worst team in the league visiting the team that finally managed to win a game Amir Zaki did not score in.

I feel Wigan should be higher up the table than they are and I also feel West Brom should be in a lower division which they will be in about 6 months time.

West Brom really need this game and I would not be surprised if they got something from it.

Manchester City v Manchester United

The last time United beat City Tony Blair was still Prime Minister and I doubt many of you knew who Barak Obama was. Mark Hughes record against United as a manager is pretty good, Hughes has won two, drew two and lost three of his seven league clashes and might improve on that come Sunday.

United have failed to score in their last two games with City not conceding in their last two. None of that matters though as I feel we should see some fire works in Manchester for this one and that man C-Ron will kick it of. Back Ronaldo First Goalscorer @ 5/1 sit back and enjoy the show.

Portsmouth v Blackburn

Poor old Tony, he was 6 minutes away from a famous victory against AC Milan and then it all went wrong. I was a little disappointed we didn't get to see Crouch, Gattuso and Ronaldinho all on the field at the same time as I hoped they would morph in to their FIFA STREET 3 versions of themselves for comedy value. The great thing about their computer alter-egos is that Gattuso looks like he swallowed a keg of bear, Crouch looks like a pipe cleaner and Ronaldinho somehow is better looking than real life!

Tottenham v Everton

Whats going on with Spurs? Two clean sheets in a row! Unfortunately for them Gareth Bale looks set to start on Sunday which means no three points for them. Good news for Everton who have not had a good performance since drawing with United at Goodison back at the end of October. Back Draw @ 12/5 as I can't give a stong case for a victory by either team

Chelsea v Arsenal

*Before you read the rest of this section please note I am trying my hardest at a reverse jinx.

Get ready for the "Stamford Bridge Massacre". That's right folks, at 4pm on Sunday the Arsenal team will be lead out on to the field in west London and any lingering hopes they had of winning the title will be killed of in spectacular fashion.

RIP Arsenal League Campaign 2008/09 - It was over before it even began

As an Arsenal fan I don't think I have ever been so terrified to go to Stamford Bridge and that's in a season where Chelsea's home form is a lot worse so far than recent years. Arsenal have looked God awful in their last three games and I've seen nothing to suggest there will be an improvement on Sunday. I wish we could go back to the good old days where we dominated Chelsea for a decade. Unfortunately Doc Brown would not lend me his DeLorean from Back to the Future otherwise I'd be out of here faster than Arsene Wenger holding contract talks with a good player over 25 years of age.

I might be in a bad mood come Monday.

Take care 

Football Guy

With another weekend of football in the books it's that time again for us to look back at what happen over the last 48 hours or so.

One of the big four failed to big again, although I'm starting to think we should call it "Big three, plus one" as Arsenal gave further proof to my old adage of never backing all four of them to win in a single weekend. It was not really that big a surprise to be as I said before the weekend to back a draw because Villa have managed to come away with that in the last two seasons from the Emirates. This time they went one better getting a deserved win and in all fairness they well could have done that in both their previous visits to the red and white half of north London.

Elsewhere Chelsea continued with their trend of demolishing teams they should in the league and maintained their 100% away record which no stands at an impressive seven wins out of seven with only one goal conceded. Nicolas Anelka seems to be in his best form since....... well I don't ever remember him doing this well. He has also turned into some what of a Fantasy Football stud picking up 51 points in the last four games! Only the great C-Ron has managed more with his haul of 52 points over the same period.

I have an apology to make to all the West ham and Portsmouth fans out their who witnessed the bore draw at Upton Park. As you may recall I had mentioned how games involving West Ham had been averaging 3.6 goals a game, well I feel I may have jinxed that match as it produced about 3.6 chances rather than goals and they all seemed to fall to Jermain Defoe. Very sorry. It was also pointed out to me by a friend of mine Pavel who is a part time writer for the Sport Boys blog that Gianfranco Zola has a striking resemblance to Ben Stiller, I pointed out that it's more like his ugly brother. I will let you be the judge.

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Middlesbrough got another good result away to Everton but as the are the King of the Craps Shoot Club watch out for their upcoming defeat at home to Bolton next week. It also occured to be and has no doubt been said elsewhere on the net, that Everton's Fellaini is basically a £15m 6'5ft Screech from Saved by the Bell which led to me realizing that Tim Cahill is a tiny A.C. Slater. If only Everton could sign a Zach Morris look-a-like and hire Mr Belding as manager we could all start calling them Bayside FC and then it would solve their problem of needing a new stadium as they would be forced to move to California where I'm sure there is a nice ground waiting for them.

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Football Guy vs Football Dad

As you may be aware me and the Football Dad have been having an on going argument this season about two topics 1. Who is better Almunia or Gomes 2. Are Manchester City going to finish in the top five. I think I am winning both arguments and this weekend proved it a little more. Almunia makes a penalty save and over all has a good game (I will conceded he should have done better with Villa's second goal), Gomes is a fault for another goal against Tottenham making that the 253rd goal of his career he was at fault for. As for Manchester Cit, they fell a further two points back from 5th spot making it nine behind. I have no doubt they will buy big in January and improve but I think they might be too far back by then to catch Villa (yes it will be Villa and not Arsenal) by that stage.

Stat of the week

I might start calling this the Gareth Bale paragraph as it only seem to concern him. His streak is still alive! Again Tottenham fail to win a Premier League match Bale has started. Even Harry Houdini's powers are no match for the young Welshman's streak. It is really amazing that Spurs just can't win a game he has started in over two season. Maybe they should look into the possibility of selling him to one of the big three plus one if they ever want to break in to the Champions League.

Quote of the week

"Jermain Defoe had some great chances, I told him that on another day he'd get a hat trick but I think he was trying too hard today as it was his old club." - Tony Adams Tony Adams - Where trying too hard costs you goals. Website of the Week It's one that is close to home. It's called The Sport Boys and has been mentioned a few times on here. These guys are very good and are friends of mine so it's only fair I try to throw some traffic their way. (Next time I will charge). But seriously it's a good site and if you like what you read here I'm sure you will find their stuff rather amusing. Fantasy Premier League Players you wish you had not made Captain  Wayne Rooney  - Did not play  Cesc Fabregas  - 1pt  Robbie Keane    - 1pt  Frank Lampard  - 3pts   Players who you made Captain, done well, but felt silly you didn't make C-Ron Captain   Nicolas Anelka    - 13pts Dirk Kuyt             - 10pts Soloman Kalou    - 7pts Dimitar Berbatov - 6pts

 Players you wish you had made Captain but never would

1. Jose Bosingwa    - 13pts
2. Stephen Ireland - 13pts
3. Martin Laursen   - 12pts
4. Michael Carrick   - 11pts
5. Giovanni             - 10 pts
6.  Rob Green         - 10pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for Fantasy Football Excelence

1. C-Ron - 18pts

That's why the award is named after him!

Things we found out over the weekend

1. Even Harry Redknapp cannot win a spurs game Gareth Bale starts.

2. That Wigan get bad sending offs when ahead in games, Emerson Boyce should never has got a second yellow for that tackle against Newcastle, he clearly won the ball and to make matter's worse they can't even appeal it due to that stupid rule of only being able to appeal  red cards. The same thing happened against Liverpool a few weeks back when they were 2-1 up at Anfield and Valencia was sent off. Also Wigan still cannot win a game if Zaki does not score! It's no wonder that when they played Spurs at WHL earlier in the season that they drew as Spurs started the match with Gareth "we can't win when I start" Bale and Amir "We don't win if I don't Score" Zaki failed to hit the back of the net.

3. Arsenal are not who we thought they were (Title chasers) , Villa are who we thought they were (The 5th best team in England), Tottenham are not what we thought they were (A good team again), Fulham are not what we thought they were (A very bad team), Blackburn are who we thought they were (No defense), Manchester City are not what the Football Dad thought they were (A top five team) and Chelsea are who we thought they were (The best team at the Moment)

Youtube

Here is a great video from Ft Tim Cahill and Marouane Fellaini about the danger's of drugs, if only Rio had watched this a few years back he would have had no problems going to that drugs test and would not have been banned for six months - There's no hope with Dope

Now I know the 80's were a different time and we may not have realized stuff back then that would be easily noticed now but after watching this video again for the first time in many years I had to ask - HOW COULD NOBODY TELL GEORGE MICHAEL WAS GAY A LONG TIME AGO?

There are those of us who have called Berbatov lazy in the past, well this interview might tell us why we thought that.

Final Thoughts

Has a manager of one of the big teams across Europe ever managed to last four seasons without winning a trophy and avoided getting sacked? Could Arsene Wenger be the first?

Football Guy

So here we are again with another weekend of football ahead. Remember what I told you last week about not betting on all the big four to win? Well I was right last week with Arsenal slipping up at Stoke, but it seems a friend of mine who also has a blog called Sportboys didn't take my advice. OK, his midweek champions league betting didn't say back all of the big for to win but did say back any three of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool or Manchester United plus Inter and Barcelona. Needless to say none of those team managed to win their respective games and to make matters worse for the SportsBoys not ONE of his midweek bets cam of. Now I love their stuff and I recommend you check them out, but avoid their betting tips like you would a Shakespearean drama staring Keanu Reeves and The Rock.

On to the games

Wigan v Stoke

Now this has all the making of a craps shoot game and as Wigan are one of the founding members I'd steer clear. You can never tell with craps shoot teams as Wigan proved last week beating Pompy away yet they will lose to Fulham and Middlebrough. Tony Pulis Has been moaning all week about Arsene Wenger moaning all week so it might have thrown them out of rhythm and we might see a Rory Delap  throw in fly over the crossbar in to row 32 at the JJB. Despite that I'm going to say home win. Take Wigan @ 5/6 and maybe throw in a Zaki anytime goal @ 13/10 as Wigan can't seem to score any point without him scoring.

Hull v Bolton

My good friend Michael Turner who is now a whooping £5m in Fantasy Football managed to score 0pts in hios last two game since me warning you of him. He and hull mihgt fair a little better this week as they are not playing one of the title contenders but a Bolton team who could very well go down this year. Bolton managed a win against another of the craps shoot hall of fame (Manchester City) last week. It will be interesting to see how these last to games have affected Hull. I'm going to say not much and back Hull win @ 11/10

Sunderland v Portsmouth

Sunderland received a good old fashioned beat down at the hand of Chelsea last week. Pompy on the other hand remained win less under Tony Adams, yes they were unlucky against Wigan but screw it, I'm still blaming Adams and I think they will stay win less for this game as well. Go with Draw @ 9/4. Side note - I think Sunderland on the whole have looked pretty poor this season dispite spending quite a bit of cash in the summer. When will Roy Keane have some serious questions put to him about the amount of crap he has bought for good money?

West Ham v Everton

Two teams not scoring much. Two teams with no fantasy players I like (other than Arteta but he has done jack for a couple of games) Two team which I have very little intrestest in their match this week. Don't bet on this game, it will only upset you. If you must take 0-0 @ 17-2 and hope that it will be the snooze fest you thought it would be.

Liverpool v WBA

Liverpool are now win less in two games and probably should have had back to back defeats if not for Stevie G and his well won penalty LOL. Liverpool need to bounce back and with the run of games they have coming up their should be very few slip ups. There is not much value in this game betting outright so take Liverpool to win by 2 goals @ 11/4. This game should also see the return of Fernando Torres from injury, I was tempted to say back him to score but thought against it as I doubt Rafa will give him the whole game.

Blackburn v Chelsea

Blackburn, as I have told you before, can't defend to save their life (most conceded in the league). They make Arsenals defense look like their famous back four of old. Now Chelsea had a back midweek, but one thing you can count on Chelsea doing this season is dispatching these middle of the road teams very easily. Go with Chelsea to score 3+ goals @ 11/4. Worked last week and should work again this week. Fantasy Football - If you have not got Lampard in your team ask yourself why? Maybe you already have C-Ron in there and can't afford him, well make space! He worth it and he is only going to get more expensive. Also have a look at Drogba, especially if you have Adebayor who is out for 3 weeks. Drogba could be just the man to fill in for the Adesaurus.

Aston Villa v Middlesbrough

I was silly last week forgetting that I had praised Newcastle for improving their game over the last couple of weeks and wish I could have a do over on backing Aston Villa to beat them. Borough, craps shoot specialist are about and knowing them they will spoil the show here in a game they are not expected to get a result from. Villa have been pretty good at home and I expect that to continue. So take Villa win @ 8/11 and I also fancy a John Carew goal so back Carew anytime goal @ 5/4

Manchester City v Tottenham

Spurs!!! Best team in the league over the last 2 weeks. 3 wins and a draw (including UEFA cup) has seen Spurs fans faces resemble that of a child on Xmas eve, all for of joy and expectation at the wonders ahead. City on the other hand are the best of the craps shoot teams. I've been having constant arguments with my dad (lets call him Football Dad) about where Manchester City will finish. Football Dad seems to think they will push hard for a Champions League spot due to who they will bring in in January (who being the right word). I say they will be too far back come January making it irrelevant "who" they bring in in January. It's become as polarizing as the great debate we had all F1 season about whether Felipe Massa is a loser or not (note Hamilton is a bottler, different to loser). I say despite Massa being good he is a loser and things just go wrong for him. Anyway Manchester City will be interesting to watch how their season unfolds. For this game I don't like either defense and will say we are in for some goals. Take over 3.5 goals @ 7/4 and enjoy the fireworks.

Fulham v Newcastle

As mentioned earlier, Newcastle have been playing a lot better of late and I think will start to pull themselves out of the relegation zone. Saying that I still don't trust them on the road and think this will be a draw, take Draw @ 23/10 and watch something else. Fantasy Football note - Did you know that Mark Schwarzer is the most selected GK in fantasy premier league? In fact he is the second most selected player behind Zaki (Zaki 39% - Schwarzer 35%) who would have guessed that?

Arsenal v Manchester United

Now despite this being the first game if the weekend I decided to write about it last as its probably the biggest game. I also decided to consult the Oracle! Those who read the Monday Hangover column this week will know that I have discovered an AMAZING thing about FIFA09 a.k.a. The Oracle. It can predict the future as seen with its powers of predicting that Liverpool would lose 2-1 to spurs last week. So I asked it very nicely and it showed be what the future held................... and boy was it BORING.... 0-0. A right stinker of a game. Arsenal started the brightest with Bendtner testing Van der Sar early on but after that United took control and never looked back yet failed to create any real chance of note. Now that's a bunch of BULL, noway Arsenal stop United scoring in this match with their two bob defense. But maybe the Oracle was on to something with the result, draw could be good and because of the Oracle I changed my mind from United win to draw. Take Draw @ 9/4 and take C-Ron anytime goal @ 9/5 and you should be good for you Saturday beer money.

If you have time this weekend do check out the Calzaghe v Roy jones Jr fight on Saturday night. I really hope Calzaghe whoops him even though it wont change the way Americans view him which it that of someone who never fought "their" top fighters when they were in their prime. Well Yanks, the reason he never did is because they DODGED HIM FOR YEARS!!!!!!! None of you top fighters wanted any piece of him and now you say that its his fault. Screw you and your economy.

Football Guy

So did you hear the big news this week? I'm sure you know by now, unless you live in a cave that Barak Obama has become the first black, first non-white, born in Hawaii, 44th man to be President of America. With that I've been reading a lot about how this is going to bring change or how the world will never be the same again and that got me thinking. What would I change to make FOOTBALL a better place for future generations? I'd like to think of myself as the white Cro-English Barak Obama and with that I'm going to outline for you all my 10 step program for change in Football, YES WE CAN!

But before we get on to that I would like to take a couple of moments to discuss the horrible scenes we saw Tuesday night at Anfield. Steven Gerrard diving to win a penalty! Shock horror! Englishmen don't dive I hear you cry. Well let's take a look shall we at Mr Gerrard's dive. Now, why are we all shocked? One of the most vocal anti-divers dived and we are shocked? Well I'm sure even those of such moral high ground like Stevie G are allowed to make a mistake once right? It's not like he does it all the time? It's not the act that annoys me, it's the fact that Stevie has condemned others in the past for something he seems to do quite often. Maybe he should take a leaf out of one of his fellow scousers books, that being Robbie Fowler. Unfortunately I can seem to find a video of it but it was back in the 96/97 season and Robbie Fowler burst into the box at Highbury, knocks it past Seamen and jumps over him drawing no contact. The ref immediately points to the spots but Robbie Folwer is protesting, for the penalty NOT TO BE GIVEN! Only time I have ever seen that and fiar play to Robbie who knew there was no contact and tried to stop the penalty being given. Anyway he lets Seaman know which way he is going to take it, Seaman saves it and...... Jason McAteer scores on the rebound. So please Stevie G, don't be a prick!

Right so back to the point at hand. Here is my 10 point plan to make Football a better place.

1. No limit on number of subs named.

By that I mean you can still only use three subs during the game but can choose from anyone in your squad. So for example, instead of naming seven subs(which I'm glad they increased this year) on the bench, you have the choice of anyone you wish to bring who is registered to play. I think it would be great as teams then could give youngster a game much more often. Even with seven subs teams are reluctant to put to many youth players on the bench as they feel more confident with their more experienced players. This way if lets say Chelsea are 5-0 up after 50 odd mins against Sunderland like they were at the weekend, they could bring on players they would normally not play and give them a chance in a real first team game. More freedom is always a good thing.

2. Video Replays.

Look, we are in the 21st century. Technology is everywhere. It's used in pretty much most sports. Why not Football? I'm not saying use it for every decision, but come on, there are way too many controversial decisions that could be solve instantly without slowing the game down. How quickly do Sky Sports have a replay up of a offside or goal line clearance or a handball? Thing would be  a lot more fair. Please don't say "but controversy is part of the game" or "what would we talk about?"I would much rathertalk about how good the game was or how good a goal was or how poorly a team played then wherever or not a team was robbed. Wouldn't you?

3. Wage Cap.

People are constantly moaning about how money is ruining the game and how people like Abramovich and these new guys at Manchester City with there super deep pockets are only winning because of money. Well there is a simple answer to that. Wage Cap. How it would work is that a team can only spend a certain percentage of its profits on wages. Benefits of that.

a) Teams are less likely to get into financial trouble as they are not speanding money they don't have.

b) It stops people like Abramovich who have bottomless pockets bank rolling teams as his money has nothing to do with how much money the "TEAM" make (not him)

c) Hopefully make the game a little bit more competitive. Yes there are always going to be teams that have a bigger turnover and therefore more money to spend on wages. But atleast then then no matter how much you could pay to buy a player, if you could not fit him in to your wage cap it would not matter.

My point is even the bigger teams could not get a "Galacticos" situation because their would not be able to pay their wages with in the margin of their net profit and thus making the game less top heavy and predictable.

4. If teams finish the season level on points then they must have a play off.

I would only use this for places that matter I.E. Title, relegation and European spots. Not for who come 10th or 11th. Why does goal difference decide? Because Chelsea beat Sunderland 5-0 and let's say Liverpool beat them 4-0 does that make them better? If after 38 games you finish on the same points then in my book you were equal. Just think how great it would be if this season Liverpool and Chelsea finished on the same amount of points and then had to play another game to decide who wins the league. Even if you hated both teams you would still be interested. Which bring me to why dosent Sky push for this? Imagine how much extra money they could make from a 1 game play-off to decide who wins the Premiership? I'd love it.

5. Offside is Offside.

I'm fed up with the debate "is he interfering with play". Brian Clough once said "If he is not interfering with play, what is he doing on the pitch" and they are my thought exactly. The thing is, the people who moan about this the most (The pundits - Alan Hansen) are the very ones who wanted it in the first place. I remember Hansen moaning on about it years ago and now that they have created this monster they want to blame someone else. Offside is offside. If it was looked at like that it would be much easier to enforce.

6. Handball is Handball.

Why is it if the ball hits you hand in the middle of the field it's handball and no one blinks an eye. Then when it's in the box all of a sudden there is this big debate over whether or not the player meant it? Keep you hands by your sides and you will be ok. If you run around with your ares flying about you are asking for trouble.

7. Referees should have to give interviews

Why do referees get so much protection from the FA when they make a wrong decision? As a manager you can't say jack against them, why? I hate it when the FA says "It's a tough job" tough job? really? I could name you a 1000 other jobs which are much tougher. Let the ref come out after the game and explain his decisions. Make them accountable!

8. Scrap the transfer window.

Imagine in real life you as a business were only allowed to hire people for 3 1/2 moths a year, stupid right? well why is it like that in Football? Scrap it I say. It hurts the teams at the bottom more than the top and I think if you asked managers what they would like 98% would probably say get rid of it.

Side note - If you have a window for players, why not for manager? Why should a manager be able to be sacked or leave ( Harry Redknapp) when players can't?

9. Like the players, the national team manager should be from the same country.

Why is this not a rule? Why for all these year England didn't have a great left winger couldn't they go and get a Brazilian or an Italian to play there? Just because you don't have a good English manager does not mean you should be able to get a foreign one. Otherwise as I just said, why can't you do that with players?

10. Make teams once a season play in a retro kit.

OK, this one is not very important. But how cool would it be to watch Liverpool v Arsenal when both are wearing their kits from the 1971 cup final? I for one think fans would love it and I think it would be a great way of celebrating the past. Lets face it, most kits today pale in comparison to kits of yesteryear. If this was the only change made on this list I'd be a happy man.

Well their you have it. In this time of change hopefully some of these might come to pass and make the game we all love that little bit better. I know they are not all perfect but I feel they are a step in the right direction... YES WE CAN

Football Guy

Before we get on to this weekends Football I would like to point out that the Football Guy is not only a lover of Football but of all sports and must say I witnessed an amazing finish to the F1 season last night. Lewis Hamilton looks like he has bottled another title away only to snatch it back at the last corner..... WOW. In a week were Spurs managed not one but two late shows against top four opposition (Jury's out on Arsenal being top four) Wigan scoring twice in stoppage time (first half and second half) Blackburn grabbing a late point against WBA and Everton grabbing late victories against Bolton and Fulham. Has there ever been more close finishes in the space of a week? Lets hope the US election on Tuesday is not as close or we might have full scale rioting across the pond!

OK, back to Football. Do you remember in Old School when Will Ferrells Character "Frank the Tank" decides during Mitch-a-Palooza that it would be a good idea to go streaking? So he takes of his clothes in front of Snoop Dogg, compliments Warren G on his green hat and runs off past the hundreds of people in attendance in to the night thinking they would follow. Only to find out when its too late that it was a bad idea. Well Arsene Wengers "Let's go STREAKING" idea was when he let go all of Arsenals three defensive midfielders in the space of six months and decides to strengthen his defense with Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants (Silvestre). Now like Frank the Tank, I'm sure Arsene thought it was a good idea only to realize after defeats to Fulham, Hull and Stoke that nobody is following and maybe he should have kept his clothes on and by clothes I mean defensive midfielders. But has he realized? Is he still running down the street shouting at the top of his lungs "WE'RE STREAKING!" I guess time will tell but I thing he might be asking his wife if there is a KFC open on the ride home.

Weekend in Pictures

• Don't worry, at least you get some time away from it all 

• Eni Meeni Mini Mo

• Imagine having an arse and legs for a head

• Get ready for the launch

• Shawcross the Eye Poker

• Welcome home

• Manfred Mann "Blinded by the light" -  Xabi Alonso "Blinded by Dirk Kuyt"

• Next Manager fired

• Juande Ramos in disguise

• What you get if you add this - With this

• Answer

 

Quote of the Weekend

"I know I've got a talented team and they will come back. We'll play much worse than this and win. We've got so much talent we can destroy teams." - Tony Adams

Hands up who thinks Portsmouth can destroy anything?

Stat of the Weekend

Following on from last weeks one about Gareth Bale and how Spurs have not won in the league when he has started. The streak lives on!!! Gareth was a Unused sub in their victory over Liverpool, which asks the question - Has any other player had this kind of streak? And should we start calling this "Bale Syndrome"? But the real stat of the week is how many times the woodwork was hit this weekend. By my count it was 15, 8 of these were in the Spurs - Liverpool and Pompy - Wigan games. Don't remember seeing that much post action since (INSERT JOKE HERE)

AMAZING THING OF THE WEEKEND

Now the I was a tad bored Saturday morning and was thing about the games later in the day whilst playing FIFA09, So I decided to setup a game between Tottenham and Liverpool but watch the CPU play it out (very sad I know). Little did I know that what would play out in the virtual world would come to pass only a few hours later! I kid you not Liverpool took the lead in the first half only to lose late on in the second!! Freak occurance I hear you say, well in ancient Greece when people wanted to know the future they consulted an Oracle. Well I might have just found the 2009 version of that Oracle, FIFA09 and its amazing predicting powers! REASON No28 Why FIFA is Now Better Than Pro Evo - It predicts the future.

Website of the Week

This week its Fantasy Premier League. If you play any other Fantasy Football competition that's great but its like drinking Pepsi when you could be drinking Coca Cola. Why would you do that? There must be something wrong with you.

Fantasy Premier League

Players you wish you had not made Captain

1. Robin Van Persie - -2pts
2. Emmanuel  Adebayor - 1pt
3. Robinho - 2pts

Players you wish you had but never would

1. Alex - 17pts
2. Ricardo Gardner - 13pts
3. Ishmael Miller - 9pt

Player who should have been your Captain

1. Cristiano Ronaldo - 15pts

If yo had C-Ron and didn't make him Captain you have to be asking yourself why? If you can't be trusted to make C-Ron your captain when they have Hull at home how can you be trusted with kids, heavy equipment or holding on to a job? If you just plain don't have C-Ron in your team then you may set yourself on fire now.

Things we found out over the weekend

1. If you don't take you chances you lose games (well we kind of knew that anyway) Liverpool and Portsmouth really drummed home this point over the weekend hitting the woodwork a combined 8 times in their losses. The Liverpool one I will put down to a bit of bad luck (they themselves have had the rub of the green of late) I'm sure this won't set them back to much and if you look at their up coming fixtures they should bounce back straight away. As for Portsmouth I'm just going to blame Tony Adams, not that he did anything wrong per se but I just don't see that happening if Redknapp was in charge *see Spurs Liverpool game.

2. Football is a 90 min game (I guess we sort of knew that anyway). Actually if you add on stoppage  time its more like a 97/98min game (first and second half) and in those 7/8mins a lot of goals can and will be scored.

3. We don't know who the worst team in the Premier League is. 3 of the Bottom 4 won with Newcastle still to play. I'm sure I will have an answer for you in this months Power ranking when the come out in a few weeks.

Football Guy's betting tips

As you might have already know due to your wallets being full I managed to give you 5 Winners over the weekend which if bet on wisely would have netted you some nice profits. Of course there were some losers but hey, if you back £10 on each of the winners you would have had £75+ profit which is good in my book. The losers would have lost you £60 but that's were your own knowledge comes in and you choose which to bet on!

You Tube

Anelka scored the greatest 6 yard Hat-Trick EVER, don't remember many of those being scored although I'm sure Gary Lineker probably got a few. Check it out here with the commentator who loves to say a players name 60 times a second.

Sometimes in life you make a fool of yourself and no one see's it. Other times your foolishness ends up on you tube, "Watch this BABY" (much better with sound)

Here is one of my favourite people, Cousin Sal from Jimmy Kimmel Live in the US of A. He is a bit like the US Jeremy Beadle only without the strange hand. Here is some of his work

OK people, hope this gets you through Monday and stay tuned for more this week from me

Football Guy