Hi and hello football fans. it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I'm in a good mood this morning....... I know hard to believe right!?!?! I was up here in the broom closet at Football Guy towers till the wee hours of the morning last playing online poker and the reason for my good mood is that I managed to win not one, but two "Sit an Go's" which has me rolling in the money just in time for the weekend! WooHoo, Go me!!

Before we get in to this weeks predictions, I need to update our prediction league table due to me not being able to find Lawro's results from last week.

Lawro it turns out had a really good week getting 3 Perfect results, 5 Correct results and 2 Wrong results which leaves the up to date table looking a little like this -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportsBoys      11       21       24       300    

Jamrock            8        25       23       260

Football Guy     5        30       21       240

Lawro               6        26        24      200 

Footy Doc         5        21        30       60

Lets see what this week has in store.

Portsmouth v Everton

Until Pompey can prove otherwise I'm going to have to back against them each and every week, kind of like riding a hot dealer and the Blackjack table!

Everton are scoring goals and there is no reason to suspect that will change against Pompey's two bob defence and having said that Louis Saha looks like a good Fantasy option right now.

Ride the hot hand and go with Everton.

Football Guy's verdict 0-2

Birmingham v Bolton

Bolton have found he net seven times in their last three games in all competitions....... For some reason that shocks me as their attackers see about as useless as an inflatable dartboard..... Will be interesting to see how they fare against my favourite sneaky good defence of the season.

If Birmingham could find just one very good striker I'd be sure they would stay up, but having said that if I could find a winning lottery ticket I'd be a rich man.

Football Guy's verdict 1-1

Blackburn v Aston Villa

Like with the Portsmouth v Everton match, I'm going to ride the hot hand here and baring Chelsea there is no other hand hotter than Aston Villa at the moment as they have reeled off six straight victories in all competitions.

Our old pal Jamrock seems to think I have overestimated Blackburn's chances in this months Power Rankings and to be honest, I think maybe I did....... But that's what the comments section is there for, to point out my BS (I guess it should be pretty full each post then.....)

Football Guy's verdict 0-1

Liverpool v Hull

Unfortunately, due to a scheduling conflict, there will be no "Amer Knows" section this week. But despite that, I'm pretty certain he will be going with Glenn Johnson as captain of his Fantasy team for this one, so the rest of us will just have to pick Stevie G instead and hope Mr Mayonnaise Dirk Kuyt does not steal any of his goals!

Apparently Hull rested most of their first teamers midweek for their Carling Cup match against Everton...... I have to be honest, I didn't notice any difference.

Expect a big one from Steven "I better hurry up and have a monster Fantasy week sometime soon" Gerrard

Football Guy's verdict 4-0

Stoke v Manchester United

Stoke very nearly held the machine that is Chelsea to a 1-1 draw a couple of weeks back at the Britannia Stadium, Could they do the same here?

I'm not all that confident in United defence right now which leaves me with a rather nasty headache fantasy-wise - Do I play Ben Foster or Joe Hart in goal? I think it's going to have to be Foster but I'm not happy about it.

One thing I am happy about though is the form of my most expensive Fantasy striker, one Mr Wayne Rooney, here's hoping he can continue his fine goalscoring form!

Just so you know - Man Utd have won eight of the last 10 league meetings with Stoke without the Potters scoring. In the two games where Stoke scored, they won the match. I think that run ends tomorrow.

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

Tottenham v Burnley

Hold on, Spurs at home to a none top eight team? Home win. That's what Tottenham have become this season, a bankers dream, you know who they will and won't beat and this is a match I guarantee they win, go put you house on it as it's buying money!!!

Those of you who own Jermain "Stop teasing" Defoe might want to consider picking him as fantasy captain as I'm quite scared as to what he might do (hopefully get sent off ;-))

Football Guy's verdict 3-1

Wigan v Chelsea

The Machine vs the team I described as a Ladyboy in yesterday's Power Rankings.......... Maybe that could be the plot for the next Terminator movie, oh wait, didn't they already do that for Terminator 3?

Other than the Spurs game this is the other match this weekend that I'm 100% confident about the outcome, away win.

I don't think Wigan have ever taken a point in the league against the "Big Four" and I don't expect them to break that trend this week.

Chelsea are the only Premier League team to have won their opening seven games of a season (2005-06), a record they'll match if they win at the DW Stadium.

Football Guy's verdict 0-3

Fulham v Arsenal

Normally I'd have gone for a draw here, but considering draws have been about as rare as a Cure fan at a Brittany Spears concert I'm going for an Arsenal win.

Yeah, maybe I'm biased due to being an Arsenal fan and yeah, maybe I want some form of revenge for last seasons defeat at Craven Cottage and yeah, maybe I just feel Arsenal are good......

I've brought Thomas Vermaelen in to my fantasy team this week so I expect either a goal or a clean sheet, I don't mind which, but both would be nice!

Football Guy's verdict 1-2

Sunderland v Wolves

Last time Sunderland played a crap team at home who play in Orange (Hull) they pumped four goals past them. Now Wolves are not really any better than Hull so can I expect a repeat performance? I know Football generally doesn't work that way but I'm banking that it will this time round.

From a Fantasy point of view I know everyone will be talking about Darren Bent, but do take a look at Andy "Fatty" Reid, scored some good points in his last two performances and got an assist midweek in the Carling Cup.

I wrote yesterday I'm starting to believe that maybe Big Mick might be able to keep Wolves up, if he wins this one on Sunday I might become a convert to that idea.

Football Guy's verdict 3-1

Manchester City v West Ham

City's saving grace last year was their home form and so far this season that form has continued and considering the calibre of their opponents Monday night I see no reason for that trend to go the way of Pokemon, Tamagotchis and Nicholas Cage's movie career.

All of West Ham's points this year have been on the road this season, but I think we can all agree that Blackburn and Wolverhampton are easier places to go than Manchester.

Football Guy's verdict 2-0

The Rest

Right, first off here are the "cellar-dweller" Footy Doc's predictions -

Portsmouth 0v2 Everton

Birmingham 1v1 Bolton

Blackburn 2v1 Aston Villa

Liverpool 4v0 Hull City

Stoke City 1v2 Man Utd

Tottenham 3v1 Burnley

Wigan 1v3 Chelsea

Fulham 1v2 Arsenal

Sunderland 3v1 Wolves

Man City 2v1 West Ham

Next up we have JamrockRover - 

Portsmouth 0 - 2 Everton

Birmingham 1 - 0 Bolton

Blackburn 1 - 2 Aston Villa

Liverpool 4 - 0 Hull City

Stoke City 1 - 3 Man Utd

Tottenham 4 - 1 Burnley

Wigan 0 - 3 Chelsea

Fulham 1 - 2 Arsenal

Sunderland 2 - 0 Wolves

Man City 3 - 1 West Ham

And finally, the kings of football predictions, the SportBoys -

Portsmouth 0 v 2 Everton

Birmingham 1 v 0 Bolton

Blackburn 1 v 2 Aston Villa

Liverpool 4 v 0 Hull

Stoke 1 v 2 Man Utd

Tottenham 4 Burnley 1

Wigan 0 Chelsea 2

Fulham 0 Arsenal 2

Sunderland 3 Wolves 1

Man City 2 West Ham 0

Oh, and here are Lawro's as well - LINK

The End

Have a great weekend

Football Guy

 

 

Hi and hello Football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, whats going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! I firstly must apologies for the Tuesday Hangover, I was not at Football Guy Towers Sunday night but rather at the Football Gal's rather modest apartment in South London which has a computer Fred Flintstone would be proud of and made writing anything Monday morning impossible.......... But don't worry, I won't make that mistake again and all future Tuesday Hangovers will be down to real Monday Hangovers!

Saturday night was quite a laugh and almost involved a fight between some of my friends I mention in this blog from time to time........ I can't go in to too much detail, but let's just say a rather Drunk Fantasy Football king Amer rocked up to a house warming party thrown by one of the SportBoys with a 15 man posse......... Not a cool move........ I tried to play peace-maker and I had a few harsh words for some of the guilty parties which they didn't like (can't handle the truth I guess) Then I hear them badmouthing me behind my back...... Poor form guys...... Still waiting for an apology which I doubt I'll get but hey, that's what friends are for right?

Twas quite an action packed weekend, so let's get right in to it!

Owen winner in Fergie-Time

There are only a few sure fire things in life, Death, Taxes and Unlimited injury-time at Old Trafford when United need it!

Michael Owen capped off a thrilling Manchester Derby on Sunday scoring the winner almost six minutes in to injury-time when only four were added........ Sounds about right......... Here's my take on the whole thing -

Now the rules of injury-time are that whatever the fourth official put up on his board is what must be added on as a "minimum." Now when Bellamy scored to make it 3-3 in the 90th minute he celebrated for about a minute which should be added on, plus United made a sub in injury-time (I think they brought on Carrick) so time should be added on for that as well so already there should be an extra 1.30 added to the 4 that we had to start with, I guess the ref rounded that up as Owen scored towards the end of the 95th minute. So Owen scored in time that should have been allowed in my opinion......... Here's where I have a problem though, I guarantee that in 19 out of 20 matches where something like this happens the ref blows for full-time just after 94 minutes regardless of celebration time or subs...... I think the ref added on the right amount of time, I'm just sure that he would not have done so had it been anywhere else other than Old Trafford, but hey! Why moan about something that's been happening for 20 years and probably won't change until Sir Alex meet's Sir Bobby in limbo!

I've got to say that for me United deserved the win as City barely left their half in the last 51 minutes of the match and had it not been for "Rubberman" Shay Given City might have lost by a much bigger scoreline......... Speaking of keepers, Ben Foster is not the man I thought he was. I was very excited at the start of the season to see him get a run in the first team at United as I thought it would spell the end for VDS, but as the Footy Doc said - I don't think Edwin can come back quick enough for Sir Alex. Foster has been at fault for quite a few goals so far this season and I'm not surprised I'm having my worst start to a fantasy football season ever when I have that bum in my team!

City obviously have goals in them, but their center-back paring of Toure and Lescott leave little to be desired, £50m down the drain if you ask me!

Super Torres bags 3pts for The Redmen

I had the pleasure of watching this match in the company of the Football Dad and boy did he have a few disparaging remarks to make about the Hammers penalty scorer Diamanti, ranging from "This guy is as good as a one-legged rodent", to, "he is shit"........ I thought both were rather harsh, but Jon Champion did call him an "Italian Ragamuffin" so who am I to judge?

Speaking of Jon Champion comments, rather early in the match Jon pointed out to the viewers that Fernando had had as many "Shiners" or "Blackeyes" this season as he has scored goals (3)........ Should Torres be worried now that he bagged two in this match that his two front teeth will be knocked out in training?

Both of Fernando's goals were class, the first probably being the better as he proceeded to mug off West Ham's young Center halve James Tomkins, then not only did he manage to lift the ball high enough to beat Rob Green at his near post, but induced a tackle from Upson which resulted in the Hammers Captain having to come off due to injury......... That's like banging some guy's missus infront of him then cumming in "his" face....... Well done Fernando!!!....... The winner was just a great header and worthy of winning any match. although we can't forget Ryan "when will Rafa give me a run in the team" Babel cross to set it up..... With his Right foot no less!!!

All in all I found this to be quite a strange game as despite the fact it had five goals in it I found it to be quite boring....... Some people are never happy.......

I was also rather unhappy to see Mr Mayonnaise - Dirk Kuyt - poaching what looked like a Stevie G goal....... MAYONNAISE EATING BASTARD!!!!!      

Chelsea - Unstoppable force!

The last time we saw something crush all before them was just over 2000 years ago when a little town called Rome when on to rule the world....... How fitting that Chelsea would be owned by a man named Roman?!?!

They delt with Spurs like Ike Turner delt with Tina..... Brutally...... Yeah Spurs put up a bit of a fight, I'm sure Tina did at times too, but in the end there was only ever going to be one winner.

I guess it's still to early to say for sure, but right now I don't see anyone stopping them........ Maybe that will change after they actually play someone good. They face Liverpool on October 4th..... Pencil that in to your diary!

Elsewhere

Arsenal crush Wigan and manage to keep a clean sheet! Shock Horror!!!!

Pompey prove that they are poo yet again, not sure Villa will have an easier match this season. Also, is it just me or does Paul Hart look just like your stereotypical "Sunday League" manager? That might explain why they play like a Sunday league team and why there are always loads of Orange peels cut in to triangles in their dressing room at Half-time....... BRING BACK TONY ADAMS!!!

Hull lose to Birmingham at home and it's inspired me to set up a sweepstakes on when Phil Orange will get the sack, I've picked December, the week before Christmas to be exact..... What about you?

Big Mick's Wolves have more points than games played!!!!!! Wait..... Why am I shocked? I picked them to win this weekend!....... Their still going down though.

The Football Guy Prediction League

Awesome weekend for me, I got 9 out of the 10 results!!!! Wish I had put some money on at the bookies!!! Unfortunately I lost two perfect scores in the last couple of minutes due to Cesc and Dave Nugent........ Thanks for nothing you pricks!!!!

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportBoys          3          5         2        120

Football Guy      2          7         1        120

Jamrock             2          6         2        100 

Footy Doc          1          4         5         20

Lawro      --       Don't know where his result are, on his link it's last weeks results, if anyone finds them please contact.

Heres the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportsBoys      11       21       24       300    

Jamrock            8        25       23       260

Football Guy     5        30       21       240

Lawro               3        21        22       80 

Footy Doc         5        21        30       60

So despite still waiting on Lawro's results for this week (at worst will have them on Friday) The Footy Doc is still at the foot of the table...... Good thing there's still a long way to go!

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence

1. Thomas Vermaelen - 19pts

Second time this season that an Arsenal player has won this award...... Although last time out it was Abou Diaby and look what he went on to do the following match.

Winners and Losers

Winners

Sir Alex Ferguson

For having control of peoples perception of time.

Michael Owen

For scoring a goal he can live off for the next 12 months.

Thomas Vermaelen

For being the first good white defender Arsene Wenger has ever bought.

Fernanado Torres

For not getting his fourth black eye of the season.

Birmingham

For once again proving how underrated their defense is.

Losers

Mark Hughes

For spending £50m on Toure and Lescott.

Amer Fatayer

For slipping to 81st in the world in Fantasy Football.

Craig Bellamy

For celebrating for too long.

Amer Fatayer

For bringing a 15 man posse to a house warming party.

Craig Bellamy

For punching a fan whilst he was being held by stewards.

Portsmouth

For keeping a Sunday league manager in charge on a Premiership team.

Paul Hart

For being a Sunday league manager in charge of a Premiership team....... Wait...... That might actually make him a winner?

The End

Take care

Football Guy

Thanks to Daniel for reminding me to let you know the fantasy league I'm talking about. It's the Official Fantasy Premier League

So here we are, nearly at the end of this Fantasy Football trilogy + one. 

In Part One we covered the "must haves" and the "have not"

In Part Two we covered the defence and goalkeepers

In Part Three we covered the plan for filling the rest of your midfield and attack with affordable/useful players.

In Part Four we will be looking at the general strategies for the season. How to pick your Captain, when to use your Wild Card, Double-Bubble's (I'll explain that in a bit) and so on.

So let's get the ball rolling........

Captain Choice

This is most probably the most important decision you will make each week for your fantasy team as your Captain will score double the amount of point he would normally score and over the course of the season will really determine how well you do.

In Part One we talked about the must haves, players like Lampard and Gerrard, players who most weeks will come up with a goal, assist or some bonus points and players who you need in your team to be Captain.

I remember a few seasons ago I had C-Ron as Captain when they crushed Newcastle. I believe C-Ron scored three, assisted one and got three bonus points which worked out to 21 points but since he was my captain you double it so he scored 42pts. Now basically any score in the 40's is a decent score for the week for your whole team (decent, not great). Now if one player out of your staring 11 scores close to 40pts as captain you can pretty much guarantee your going to have a good week and that's why captain choice is so important.

The basic premise for deciding who will be your captain is this - Your best player Vs the weakest opposition. 

If Chlesea are playing United away and Liverpool are playing Wolves at home you should probably go with Gerrard as captain not Lampard (presuming that you have both). It's a percentages game, Gerrard is more likely to have a better game against Wolves then Lampard is against Man Utd.

Up until this season though you had to worry about your captain maybe being rested by his manager, Gerrard would often be rested by Rafa before a big European game against lesser opposition so you would have to way up the gamble of if he would play or not. This season that's not a problem as you have a back up captian. I'm not totally happy with this rule change as it takes away a bit of the skill from picking the right captain, but oh well.

Your back up captain is decided by either your most expensive player or the most inform player, I'd still predominantly go with most expensive.

Double-Bubble

The Double-Bubble is a term coined by my friend and reader of this blog (although he has not commented in a while) The man from Leeds.

It refers to when two or more teams play twice in the same game week due to fixture rearrangement. They are a great way for you to make some serious ground in you league as if you have any players from a team playing twice in the same gameweek they will score points for two games and everyone else we score for just their one.

Basically look at the league table, if a team has a game in hand, find out when they will be playing it and start to look for way to bring in a player or two from that team. If you have quite a few players playing twice in a game week you can really score some massive points. I remember my highest ever points totally for one game week was 119pts helped buy me having Stevie G as captain and over the two games he scored me 27pts but as he was my captain it doubled to 54pts + I had quite a few other players who played twice as well.

Be careful though not to bring in to many average players just because they will be playing twice for one weel, you will still have them in your team next week and it could disrupt your team for weeks to come.

Transfers + Injuries

Keep an eye out for players who are playing well and not in your team, don't be scared to make a change. But be careful though as players value's change over the course of the season. If let's you have Fernando Torres and he has been playing really well for a couple of months and then he gets injured and will miss three games, do you transfer him out for the next three games?

Well lets say his value has gone up by .6m and you have had him from that start of the season, that would mean his value to buy back would be £12.1m but the problem is that if you own a player who's value has gone up when you sell them you sell for only have of what they went up for. So you would be selling Torres for £11.8m but buying him back for £12.1m. Make sure you will have enough money to bring him back in if you want to get rid of him!

Wild Card

Each week you can make one transfer for free (every aditional transfer will cost you 4pts).

This season you can stockpile transfers - E.G. if one week you don't make a transfer you get two the next, but you can never make more than two for free.

So basically if you don't like your team it can take you quite a few weeks or a lot of points to change this around, that's where the wild card come in.

Once a season you can play the Wold Card and change your team around as much as you like. It's basically like pre season all over again.

The problem with the Wild Card is that too many people are scared of using it, they feel they should save it till later in the season......... I say use it when you need to!

The best example I can give you was last season. I was on holiday for the three weeks leading up to the start of the season and therefore my team was not very good from the start and after three weeks I was about 100pts behind everyone in my league. I knew I had to change things fast so I played my Wild Card in week four.......... I became the laughing stock of my league (despite winning it the past two seasons) People were saying stuff like "The Football Guy has lost it" "He's gone mad!" and "only a fool would use his Wild Card so early". Well three weeks later I believe I was top of the league and went on to win it for the 3rd season running.......... Who's the fool now?

The point is to use your Wild Card when you need to. If your team stinks use it, that's what it's there fore!

General Stuff

This four part preview has been designed to build you a team that will do well, to build you a team the way I build and play the game. It's worked very well for me over the years and if you combind the four parts hopefully it will work well for you too.

The basic premise is big hitters and cheapo numbers men, that's how I play.

But remember, fantasy football is ultimately about having FUN!!!!

There is no law that say my way will work for you. The way I play has done well for me but maybe wont work for you. Make sure above all else that YOU are happy with YOUR team because after all....... YOU will be the guy playing with it for the next 10 months.

I hope this info will prove of benefit to anyone who reads it and I hope everyone who is playing with me in a league enjoys the competition and has some fun.......... That's what it's all about right?

So my friends, use what advice you need from me and if you are up against be in a league......... Get ready for the beating of your life from yours truly!

Take care

Football Guy

Thanks to Daniel for reminding me to let you know the fantasy league I'm talking about. It's the Official Fantasy Premier League

So with Part One and Part Two in the books it's time to move on to........ That's right, Part Three!

In Part One we looked at the "Must Haves" and "Have Not".

In Part Two we looked at building a defense and who to buy in goal.

Now presuming you have followed parts one and two you are now going to need to fill the remaining spots in midfield and attack.

We'll start with the men in the middle.

Midfield

The most important thing to remember with buying midfielders is that - "Good in real life does not mean good in fantasy!"

I really can't understand the people who bring in good defensive midfielders for about £6-7.5m..... They are great in real football but in fantasy do don't do enough to justify there price. In fact the best defensive Midfielder last season was Phil Neville who scored 140pts but considering he was counted as a defender on Fantasy Premier League the bulk of his points came from clean sheets, something players counted as midfielders get a lot less of.

Let's say for expample you have Lampard, Arshavin and Ashley Young as three of your midfield 5. Now you are not going to be able to spend big bucks on the last two guys because you need the cash elsewhere. But don't worry, the idea is that Lampard, Arshavin and Young score the big points in your midfield, so just make sure the other two guys are cheap and play. The point is that -

A. These guys need to be cheap to allow you to spend money elsewhere

B. All they need to do is play, a crap, cheap midfielder can score about 80-100 points just by playing each week and that's all you really need from these guys.

C. Don't buy a defensive midfielder unless he's dirt cheap or really, really, really worth it.

The midfield ultimately should be where most of your transfer budget is spent. Some people prefer to go with 5 guys in the £7-9.5m range, I prefer to go with 2/3 big guns and the rest cheap.

Corners, Free Kick's or Penalties

Do make sure when you are looking at who to bring in that you check what they do for their club. Someone who takes a clubs corners is more likely to have a few more assists over the course of the season than a player who does not.

The same applies to Penalties and Free Kick's except were talking about goals now instead. Gareth Barry added a lot of points to his season totals each year at Villa because he was their main Penalty taker plus took his fair share of corners and free kicks, will he take as many at Manchester City? I'm not so sure he will.

Midfielder who's really a striker.

Also, keep an eye out for these guys. C-Ron was the best example - He basically played upfront for United but was classed as a midfielder and my argument to those who say "No he is a midfielder and didn't play upfront" is - In what way then has Rooney been sacrificed these last few seasons? Because if C-Ron was playing in the midfield he would not be encroaching on Rooney territory as a forward.

Anyway, I'm getting off point. All I'm trying to say is that each season there are guys like this, some better than others.

Recommendations
 

Here are a few recommendations for cheapo's

Seb Larsson - Birmingham - £5m

Last time Seb was in the Premiership he scored 118 points with Birmingham and I expect him to do the same this year. 

As far as I'm aware Seb takes corners and free kicks for Birmingham!

Fabrice Muaba - Bolton - £4.5m

At £4.5m he's in the cheapest price bracket you can get for a midfielder. Last two seasons he's scored about 80 or so points which sounds crap but so what? He plays for Bolton pretty much every game and for you he should be no better than you 5th best midfielder which means he will be on the bench at all times, but if he needs to come on for whatever reason at least you know he will pick you up a couple of points which is all you should really expect from a 5th midfielder.

Birmingham, Burnley and Wolves

We know at Birmingham Seb Larsson is the main man, but find out who those guys are at the newly promoted teams.

Look how well a player like Giovanni did for newly promoted Hull last year, if you find the new Giovanni before everyone else he will be cheaper for you.

Attack

The first thing I would say about you attack is, NEVER HAVE TWO GUY FROM THE SAME TEAM IN YOUR ATTACK!

Right, glad I got that out.

It's was a very poor year fantasy wise for front men last term with only ONE player scoring more than 150pts. I would expect that to change this season.

Strikers can be a trick proposition and an expensive waist of time since their price tag is often determined by their reputation and who they play for.

Take a look at Wayne Rooney (Someone who I think will do great this year) the last two seasons he's cost £12m and £11m and neither time has he broken through the 150pts mark......... That's a lot of dosh to blow on such a little return in points.

Michael Owen

As of today, he is the second most selected Striker in the game behind Fernando Torres........... And he's not going to be starting most of the games he plays........... 

Don't get me wrong, should something happen to Berbatov or Rooney then every man and his dog will bring in Owen, but until that happens your going to be paying £8.5m for a guy who will be coming of the bench more often than not.

Stratagy

Personally, because of the way I've built my teams over the years I've usually gone with one expensive striker, one medium price and one cheap. I've found it works best.

But if you've blown your transfer budget on MID and DEF there's still value to be had.

Agbonlahor is priced at a cool £8.5m but unlike Owen he will be playing week in week out. I'd love Tevez at the same price as Agbonlahor but like Owen, I can't guarentee he will be first choice. Which means if you want a City striker I'd go with Robinho, he's got more to work with this season and I think it will show in his points total.

I love Beattie or Ricardo Fuller from Stoke for £6m and I think both will have solid seasons. I like Doyle and Ebanks-Blake at Wolves (Even though I'm sure they will go down) £5m.

Carlton Cole was good value last season but at £7m I don't think I will be buying him this time around.

The most important thing you need to remember with your strike force is don't be afraid to change them. Strikers go in and out of form during the course of the season and it's up to you to identify them.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow we will look at stuff like captain choices, wild cards and general stratagy.

Take care

Football Guy

Thanks to Daniel for reminding me to let you know the fantasy league I'm talking about. It's the Official Fantasy Premier League

Right, in part one we looked at the must haves (and have not). The haves all came from Midfield and Attack and the two or three of them that you put in your team will be your money men in more ways than just price. But now you need to back them up with some "meat and drink" your defence and goalkeepers.

A well thought out DEF and GK can turn an average week in to a good week, a good week in to a great week and good team in to a league winning team. You probably wont lose a fantasy league based on your DEF and GK (lack of good captain choice and big points scores will do that) but they sure can help you win.

Now because you have spent quite a large portion of your transfer budget on your must haves it means you have to think carefully about who you pick up at the back. You probably wont be able to afford the likes of Vidic and Lescott in your side but that's OK. I have owned Vidic in the past but I have never ever had Lescott and I've never finished worse than in the top 20,000 (out of over 1.5m) and in fact the last two seasons I've been 6000 and 3000 (pretty good right?).

The fact is that players like Vidic and Lescott score well but ultimately stop you from affording the real players you need. And remember, If Vidic is keeping a clean sheet, so our the rest of the DEF and GK of United and that's the key, find the cheapest DEF of United, Liverpool or Chelsea and put them in. 

For example - Last season I started with Evra but when he get injured £5.5m John O'Shea came in to my team and he scored over a hundred points. Alex and Chelsea was another great example of that last season.

The point is you can compensate for the lack of the Vidic's and Terry's and Lescott's buy picking up the cheap guy who plays with them. Instead of £7m Lescott who last season scored 172 points I had £6m pound Phil Neville who scored 140, plus Lescott's value rose a lot last season, where as Neville's didn't which means that he was affordable whenever you decided to bring him in (Phil Neville is classed as a MID this season).

Now I would say that you need two/three big four DEF (don't worry about GK, I'll come to that) and then two/three cheapo's. The cheapo's are the guys like the Fulham players last season. Picking them before the season starts is always quite hard but no problem, you can always buy them a few weeks in to the season as they will still be cheapo's.

Anyway, here are a few recommendations.

BIG FOUR

Arsenal

I usually steer clear of Arsenal DEF as they are unreliable, and this season everyone who looks like they will be first team is £6.5m, not great considering that only Toure, Clichy and Sagne just about broke the 100 point mark last season.

But if you look closely, Alex Song is classed as a DEF this season and at £5.5m would be a steal. Now a lot of this is down to if he plays in the first team, but remember he does not need to be play in defense for Arsenal, he just has to play FULL STOP.

Now, should Wenger not bring in a defensive midfielder this summer, Song might well be the man to partner Cesc in the middle and instantly make him worth a lot more in fantasy than his £5.5m suggests!

I know that's a lot of if's and but's but to be fair, I'd steer clear of the Gunner's DEF unless Song is playing.

Chelsea

Anyone following my master plan might find it hard to afford any Chelsea DEF this season as all the first teamers are a minimum £7m. That's a lot of wonga.

But if you feel the need to go with one I'd look at their new signing Yuri Zhirkov.

Like Song he is classed as a midfielder, but unlike Song he is of the attacking sense and will be playing on Chelsea's left wing, which mean's goals and assist for a defender which make's fantasy owners very happy!

The problem is that at £7.5m he could be out of reach so I'd recommend if you are going to buy him do it before the season starts and see what happens. You can always sell him and bring in someone cheaper. But if you don't start with him and he plays well, you might be out of luck trying to bring him in later.

Liverpool

Last season you could have got good value out of Liverpool's full back as they were relatively cheep for a Big four team. This time round both Aurelio and Johnson are £7m or over and that make's them too expensive in my books.

So what you are going to have to do is take either Agger or Skertel. One of those two will partner Jamie C and CB and bring you in a steady stream of clean sheet points.

I;d go with Agger right now just because Skertel has an Injury, but keep your eye on the situation because Agger was almost sold last season and Skertel might well be a bargain at £6m.

Manchester United

The decision here is quite simple........... Who ever is first team right back is you man!

Problem is I don't know who that will be. It's between Neville, Rafael and Wes Brown with the first two being only £5.5m, so whoever it is should be in your first team.

I'd gamble with one of them and not worry about it, if you are wrong you can always bring in the other for pretty much the same price.

Plus with United, Rio seems to have a bad back which causes him to miss a couple of games at a time through the course of the season so keep your eyes open because £5.5m Johnny Evans will be the man coming in.

Big Four Injuries

As I said with Rio, look out for any injuries to first team big four DEF as it will mean bargains to be had!

DEF Cheapo's

The important thing to remember with these guys is that they don't really need to score you a lot of points as most weeks they will be on your bench. Just make sure they play first team and cost no more than £4.5m.

If you find this seasons Fulham then great, but if not don't worry as you can always bring them in later. 

As I said, don't worry to much about these guy's, they will be on your bench most weeks!

Just as a recommendation, I think Sunderland could have a decent season and their DEF could be quite good Cheapo's

Goalkeepers

I tend to not spend money on GK, mainly because I can't due to not have enough cash left because I've spent in elsewhere. But Cheapo Gk's can be good value as what they lose in clean sheets can be subsidized in Saves. Remember that you get a point for every three saves your keeper makes!

Last season you had three GK's within 30 points of the best GK all who cost £4.5m or less........ BTW the best points scoring GK last season was Schwarzer who started the season at £4m.

The only exception I'd make for spending good money on a fantasy GK would be if you want Petr Cech, because the rest of his DEF is so expensive one of your Top Four DEF could be him instead.

But what ever you do, make sure one of you GK's cost £4m otherwise you are wasting money as only one of them can play each week so whats the point having someone who cost more than the minimum on your bench?

Overview

So if you are following the master plan - So far you have two/three players from the must haves in part one.

Plus now you have out of the Seven players at the back (2 GK + 5 DF) you have three from the big four and the rest cheapo's and I hope you are not speading unnecessary money on they Cheapo bench players!

Tomorrow we will look at who is going to fill the reaming spots in you midfield and attack and then after that we will look at strategies.

But until then

Take care

Football Guy 

Edit -  Thanks to Daniel for reminding me to let you know the fantasy league I'm talking about. It's the Official Fantasy Premier League

It's never a good thing to spend too much time without any real Football. Clinical fact! I'm sure if you bothered to research it that more Football fans die in June/July than any other month due to withdrawal symptoms and boredom. It can get so bad that during really harsh summers (the one's without an International football tournament) that we start to convince ourselves that Cricket, Athletics and the Tour de France are really interesting and sometimes we even fool our brains into believing we care about the outcome, care about who's got the Yellow jersey, who's taken more wickets or who can pole volt the highest.

Really, when you think about it, all we are doing is supplementing our need for Football with mediocre replacements.......... Like the a heroin addict, we must not fill our bodies with crude, unpure filth.

If Football be our Heroin, then Cricket, Athletics nor the Tour de France will give us the same buzz we require. So what do us addicts who can't get enough of Football do during the "cold turkey" summer? Well, the Heroin junkie has Methadone and we have Fantasy Football.

That's right, Fantasy Football is the Football fans Methadone, it keeps us from stealing car stereo's, from mugging old ladies and from caring about who Lance Armstrong is!

But knowing what drung to use still does not mean you know how to use the drug properly! As proved in the movie Pulp Fiction, Uma Thurman a.k.a Mrs Mia Wallace, misused a drug and ended up needing John Travolta to stick a needled full of adrenaline in her heart on Eric Stoltz living room floor. Many people misuse Fantasy Football, they pick the wrong players, choose the wrong captains and in the end begin to blame the game for their lack of knowledge of Fantasy. They end up with mediocre points totals and find themselves flaming others who know what their doing, calling them Fantasy geeks and begin to hate what could be really fun and help them forget how bad their real life team is.

But never fear ladies and gentleman, for over the next couple of days I will be bestowing upon you some pointers on how to run a successful fantasy team, so you most of all have fun and don't need John Travolta to stick any needles in to your hearts!

The game plan

"Stars and Scrubs" that's the motto. Every year I see too many people fill their teams with players who are in the £7-£9.5m range. Your much better off having a team loaded with a few super expensive players and a bunch of cheepo's.

Trust me on this. I heard so many time last Season the C-Ron was too expensive and noway worth the money he cost. Those same people would rather have Luka Modric and Mikel Arteta in their team instead of C-Ron. Now, take a look at this -

Last Season

Modric -  139pts

Arteta -   129pts

C-Ron - I don't have his points total since he is not longer on fantasy football but I know he got at least 200

Right, so Modric and Arteta together out scored C-Ron, that means they are better right? WRONG! How many times did those same people pick Modric or Arteta as Captain? Probably not most of the time where as the guy who had C-Ron probably had him as Captain at least half of the games he played so that would bump up C-Ron's points total to 300+. See where I'm going with this, then if you add in someone like Giovanni who was around for £5m last season and scored 126 points you are absolutely killing your opposition. 

C-Ron - 300 (as captain half the time)

Giovanni - 126 

Equals = 426

Now add Ashley Young to Modric and Arteta

Modric - 139

Arteta - 129

Young - 153

Equals =  421

See what I mean? Admittedly, Modric, Arteta and Young's score would be a bit higher as you would have gone with them as Captain sometimes but you would not have picked them that much and besides, that's 3 players and compared to just C-Ron and Giovanni.

No more C-Ron

So with C-Ron in Madrid, who do I turn to? Never fear, there are still fantasy monsters out their and in part one of this preview, I'm going to outline which guys you need regardless of cash. Most will be obvious, but the point is, a lot of people wont pick them because they think they are to expensive, I say you wont win you league or beat me without at least 3 of these guys in your team!

Buy me regardless of price!

 

Frank Lampard - £12.5m

Fat Frank, back bone of many Fantasy Football teams. You know what you are getting with him - Goals, Assist and Bonus Points.

Last season Frank got 12-10-46 in those stats and if you look over the last three seasons his goals and assist have been about the same so I don't think you have much to worry about in that regards. He did have a lot of bonus points last term which might go down a bit but regardless, he's good for 200+ points and when you consider he will be a Captain choice quite often that's a lot of points for your team.

Steven Gerrard - £12.5m

Like Lampard, Gerrard will be a Fantasy stud for you as well. In the last three seasons Gerrard has played less minutes each season yet his goals, assists and overall points have gone up each season and most amazingly, each year he has scored 35 bonus points on the nose.

I expect another big season from Stevie G and looking at it logically there is no reason to doubt it.

The only worry you have with Gerrard is Rafa and by that I mean you never really know when Rafa might decide to rest him, but since this season there is a back up captain option it means you wont be punished as badly when you have him as captain and Rafa thinks he needs a rest.

Andrey Arshavin - £11m

I expect big things from the small Russian this season!

In 990 minutes last season he scored 87 points which basically works out to 7.8 points per game........ AWESOME!

I think he will be the man and if you can get him + the two above in you fantasy team I think you have a powerful middle with a good choice of Captains each week.

Only thing that scares me is that since he plays for Arsenal it means he could have his leg broken at any time!

Fernando Torres - £11.5m

His fantasy output was halted by injuries last term but I expect El Nino to bounce back this season and not only win the golden boot, but be Fantasy Football top points scoring striker.

Torres will get you goals and he will get you bonus points, if only he got a few more assist he'd be a fantasy force!

Wayne Rooney - £11m

There has been a lot of talk about how the impact of C-Ron leaving will mean Rooney will have a better season. Now whilst I do believe Rooney will have a better season, I don't think it will be the second coming of Pele like some would have you believe.

Having said that, Rooney has averaged 13G-10A-24BP over the last three season's and you have to figure that that will be going up now that C-Ron has left.

Could be a great year for Rooney and a great Fantasy year for you too if you buy him.

Who do I pick out of them?

Well that's up to you, buy I will say if you are going to score well you will need minimum two but I'd go with three out of these five.

Don't buy me I'm too expensive

Just like the five guys above you must be in your team regardless of price, here a a couple of guys who are the exact opposite.

Nemanja Vidic - £8m

Now £8m might sound cheap as chips compared with the guys above but when you consider that Vidic is the most expensive defender in the game you can see why he's here.

It's not that I think Vidic will have a bad season, I just think £8m is way over priced and you can get better value. 

The reason Vidic is so highly priced is because he scored a whopping 187 points last season, but that was because A. He avoided injury B. United went on a record breaking run of clean sheets.

Now whilst he might avoid injury again, do you really think he will real of 10-12 clean sheet in a row again this season? I don't think so! So if you take that record breaking run away £8m starts to look quite ridicules.

Stephen Ireland - £9m

At £5.5m last season I loved him.......... At £9m this season.......... Not so much.

Ireland had a fantastic season last year but in all honesty, how many of you think he will be repeating that again? Especially with the signings City have made this summer.

He cost's more than Ashley Young,  Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta...... All of whom I'd rather have in my team than him.

Nicolas Anelka - £10.5m

The most uninspiring Golden Boot winner since Dion Dublin. I really feel that if you fail to score 20 goals in the league you should not get the golden boot and if no one does then so be it.

It's not necessarily that I think Anelka will have a bad season, I just think he wont score you that much more than a lot of other players who are valued a little bit less than him.

Also I had him for large parts of last season and even though he was the top goal scorer I never felt like making him captain and was always thinking about selling him and that was when he was worth a cool £1m less!

Didier Drogba -£10.5m

Failed to score more than 100 points each of the last two season.......

For more info - See Nicolas Anelka.

Seriously, he's been injured for most of the last two seasons and now at 31 why would I think that's going to change?

MUCH better value to be had elsewhere.

Tomorrow.......

Right then, that's it for part one, hope that's given you some insight. Remember though, there is a master plan to all of this. Part one was about which guys you must and must not have in your team. The first five guys are a must and coupled with the rest of the weeks plan it should give you a good team with which to destroy your fantasy opposition......... Unless that opposition is me!

Take care

Football Guy

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko the Football Guy, whats going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! It's a bit chilly here in the broom closet at football guy towers and I'm not sure why? I consulted the weather report thing on the BBC's website and it seems the temperature is about the same as it was yesterday yet I feel a deep chill to the bones........ Maybe someone has pitched up a tent on my grave? Probably not though........ I'm still alive and therefore in no need of a grave.

I had a horrible, horrible dream last night, it was so horrible that when I woke up I almost started to cry. Not because it was a horrible nightmare, but because it was such a great dream that my mind is horrible for letting me have dreamed it as there is very,very little chance of it ever happening. The relief you feel from waking up from a nightmare is nothing compared to the utter disappointment you get from waking up from the best dream ever. Kind of like in football, winning never really feels as good compared to how bad losing feels. My dream was so good that I think by the time I die it will still be in the top five dreams I've ever had.

Anyway, this week I seem to have had a lot of ups and downs in my life away from the blog and I thought I share with you what is on my good and bad side.

We shall start with the good

Good Side

10. House Party's

As I mentioned earlier this week, you can't beat a good house party, just don't go punching me otherwise you might drink my piss, or get into some sort of fight which hopefully I will win!

9. Real Madrid and Manchester City

Now most people might not like the way they are doing their business (Throwing lots of money about) But at least they have given us something to talk about this summer which seems to be dragging a long slower that a torture session from the C.I.A.

City get extra points for deciding to give my team (Arsenal) £25m to take Adebayor away from us. Maybe Arsene could convince them to by Silvestre and Eboue as well?

8. Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown

Since it release it has been the album I have played every morning whilst I get ready to go to work.

I'm sure I'm going to start to hate it very soon do to over playing it but hey, it's like Arsenal and Cesc, why worry about over playing him now when he is young when we all know in a couple of years time he will be off to Madrid/Barcelona and they can deal with the dodgy knees he will have developed by then.

7. Leaving your Facebook account open at work

A guy at work did this yesterday whilst he was out for a ciggie. I decided to post as his status that he really hated a certain ethnic minority.

Boy was he pissed........ Good thing he does not know it was me........ Otherwise we might have to rumble.

6. Cutters Choice Tabacco

I am a smoker......... Yes...... I know........ I'm really cool!

But I can't afford to but a pack of Marlboro each day (they are for the weekend and special night out) So for my during the week smoking habit I have been smoking the fine choice cuts of the tobacco plant of Cutters Choice. Not quite as good as Golden Virginia (But cheaper) but a dam sight better than Old Holborn and Drum which after smoking I feel like I need a respirator.

5. Full English Breakfast

On Sunday morning after stumbling back from that house party I was at I managed to find a greasy spoon and gobbled down -

2 Fried Eggs

3 Bacon

2 Sausages

Beans

1 Fried Tomato

4 Slices of Toast

1 Cup of Tea

I felt much better afterward!

4. Gambling

One of the few cool ways to pass a summer without football is to gamble on other lesser sports.

I won some money on the first test of the Ashes after betting it to be a draw! But don't feel you have to restrict yourselves to Cricket. There are a whole host of sporting events going on over the summer.

The British Open (Golf) is being held this week at Turnburry. The only other 3 times it has been held there the world number one has one the tournament............. So maybe you should run down to the bookies and pop a few quid on old Tiger Woods.

3. OleOle.Com

No...... I'm not kissing ass. This whole site keeps me entertained whilst I'm at work and if your reading this I guess it might do for you as well!

2. Premier League

It's less than one month away from starting....... Oh happy days!!!!

1. Fantasy Premier League

The only thing that has kept me sane over the past couple of days has been looking at how my fantasy team will be shaping up for opening day.

I've joined the Oleole.com league and if you would like to pit yourselves against people like me and JamrockRover and IAWWT go check out Jamrock's bog for details.

Bad Side

10. Punching me in the face

Don't do it......... Unless I really deserve it........ Even then........ Make sure I really, really, REALLY deserve it.

9. The Sportboys

For stealing my joke about Micah Richards thinking he might have had alcohol  poisoning.

8. Really Good Books

Why you ask? Because when you read a really really ridiculesly good book you feel gutted when it ends.

I just finished the 11th book in a 12 book series (12th book out in November) and I feel pissed off. Not because it ended bad, but because it did end........ Screw you really good book authors, luring us in with your interesting plot lines and good grammar and then ending it all...... Who do you think you are? GOD???

 

7. Train Drivers

You get paid bucket loads of cash to basically accelerate and break and open doors....... Screw you!

6. Work

I know we have to do it........ But still.

5. Michael Jackson

Raining on Farraw Fawcetts parade like that...... Unfair.

4. Crap Weather

What happened to all the sunshine we had the other week? Why did the weather gods decide to tease us with a little sunshine only to take it away from us?

As I always say....... It's NOT better to have loved and lost.

3. John Terry

Come on man. You are the captain of your boy hood team, how can you even think about leaving to go to City? Don't you have enough cash as it is?

2. Shaving

It's a pain in the bum.

1. Really good dreams

Kind of like the really good book, only dreams are more personal and hurt more when they end.

Take care

Football Guy 

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko the Football Guy! In case you missed part one of the last Monday Hangover of this season here is the link - PART ONE.

Lets get straight in to part two.

Football Guy v Mark Lawrenson

So as we've come to the end of the season, it would only be right if we checked in for the last time with Lawro to see how badly he lost to me in our predictions battle.

This Week

Football Guy - PS 1 CR 6 WR 4

Lawro           - PS 0 CR 7 WR 3

Yet more end of season honorsfor your pal the Football Guy, I officially wrapped up my "League of Dork's" title for a 3rd straight season. Just like with Lawro though, it had been in the bag for quite some time!

I was a little bit gutted I could not make it a treble as I came runner up in the Croatian supporters section on Fantasy Premier League, but it was an improvement on last season when I came 3rd.

My overall points total was down on last season but I did end up recording my highest finish coming in at 3,511th which I'm pretty happy with. Would be great to crack the top 1000 next season.

There has been some rumors that a Oleole league might be started next season on fantasy premier league and I officially am throwing my hat in to it if it comes!

Thanks

All that remains is for me to thank everyone who has read the blog over the course of the season - With out you guiys there would be no point!!!!!!

Stay tuned, as latter today I will have my first summer post....... It will give you a rough idea of some of the type of stuff I will be writing about...

Anyways,

Take care

Football Guy

OK guy's and gal's (yes, I'm presuming there are some women who read my stuff.....) it's time for February's Power Rankings. This one might prove to be my most controversial one yet (that's not my intention though) with some of you out there disagreeing with my placement of certain teams..... Well, you know what to do if you disagree... No?... LET ME KNOW!

Before we get to that however, I've got a few things to say about last nights Everton v Liverpool match

The Actual Match

You can read a minute by minute account of this peach of a game here by my buddies The SportBoy, who I'm not entirely sure why they don't let me now about when they will be doing minute by minute accounts of games as I would be more than happy to let people know on here before hand?

Anyway, the game was.... How to put this kindly.... Poo. I've seen more creativity in an 18 month old child's nappies. It also seemed to me that neither team really wanted to win this game for the most of it, too be fair to Liverpool it was more Everton's fault, I was really disappointed in them for not really attempting to attack to any real degree until about 10 minutes after Lucas was sent off. Shame on you Everton, do you have no pride? Did you feel like in was an away game? Or are you just not really that good enough a team to attack the away team properly when it's 11v11? You are basically Bolton under Fat Sam and that's nothing to be proud of.

Tony Hibbert

This guy might possibly be the worst Footballer I've seen in the Premiership. I'm sure I've talked about Hibbert before and if not, it was probably because I was trying to blank him out of my mind.

This guy has less technical ability on the ball than a one legged Moose, all he can do is foul and anytime he get in to any sort of advanced position (like near the half way line) and has an opposition player a couple of yards in front of him he will never try to take them on (which I know would be pointless as he is not really a footballer therefore can't do two kick-up's let alone take on a player) instead he will 99% of the time pass it backwards (the 1% is for when he hoofs it forward).

This guy is so bad I've decided (with your help) to create the "Tony Hibbert Hall of Fame". A team of players who are SOOOOO BAD we question wherever we genuinely could do better.

The first player to be inducted in to the "Tony Hibbert Hall of Fame" is......... (drum roll)...............................

Philippe Senderos

Imagine the right hand side of your defence consisted of Sender's and Hibbert? Would you not shoot yourself straight away? Could that be the two most non-technically gifted players ever to have come in the top four in the Premiership?

I'm 100% sure that AC Milan will be issuing a "Return to Sender" with old Sender's once his loan deal is finished, but the funny thing is, someone half decent will still end up buying him and he will continue to make money from football.

ITV

The only good thing I will say about ITV's coverage last night was that at least they didn't force David Pleat upon us.

Instead we all had to listen to the slightly less annoying Jim Beglin and Clive Tildsley... Or was it Jon Champion? Seriously, they both sound the same and it wouldn't surprise me if it was the same guy and he was cashing in two paychecks from ITV (Idiots TeleVision)as they are so stupid I'm sure someone could get away that.

Finally, after being subjected to 118 minutes of a crap match with crap commentating and the crap play of Tony Hibbert and the fact that my head started hurting from asking myself the question why didn't Rafa start with Ryan Babel and have him run all night at Tony Hibbert, ITV for some unknown reason (unless you are the child of a chimpanzee) they decide to go to an ad break with TWO MINUTES TO GO!...... ARE YOU FU"KING RETARDS YOU SONS OF BI&CHE$. So they cut back to the scene of the Everton players jumping on top of themselves and me betting my dad that the guy who was responsible for making sure the adverts start when they are supposed to is paid double the amount be and him are on. (hopefully not anymore).

Power Rankings

In The Thick of it 20th - 11th

These teams at the moment are worrying about the top flight status and will be for the foreseeable future. Like winter follows autumn they know they are in for a long cold winter and HOPE that by the time spring come's around things will be considerably more rosy.

This section seems to be getting bigger and bigger each time we visit the Power Rankings! 

* Last months place in brackets

PR 20th (20th) - PL 20th (20th)  WBA

A massive point at the weekend against Hull saw them stay within touching distance of safety.

In a crazy season where at the beginning of February any 3 of 10 teams can still easily go down I wont be writing anyone obituary yet, though I still maintain they are favorites to go down.

I do like the signing of Jay Simpson on loan from Arsenal, I think in the 3-4 games he's played so far it's clear to see he has some talent.

Fantasy Football Side Note - Whilst watching Saturday's Arsenal v West Ham game with my buddy Pavel, he joked about another friend of our Tom having Jay Simpson in his Fantasy Team..... Needless to say about five minutes later we found out he had scored... Point of story - Never insult your rivals fantasy players whilst they are playing, you will only succeed in upsetting the Fantasy Gods who can hurt you bad if they want too.

PR 19th (18th) - PL 19th (17th) Middlesbrough

I'm not really sure if I'd have Marlon King over Mido, I am sure however that if my team were entering their 3rd month without a league win I'd be crapping my pants right now.

I still do think Boro have played some decent stuff over this barren period, but I guess that really dose not matter in you go down.

I hope they stay up but until proved otherwise they are my 2nd favorites to go down.

 

PR 18th (19th) - PL 17th (18th) Stoke

So Stoke actually moved up a place in this months Power Rankings, I'd say that's more down to Boro being bad than them being good.

James Beattie seems to be a signing that has already paid some dividends, two goals in his first two games are making the £3.5m man seem like a steal, although I would be tempted to make a bet that he wont score more than three more goals all season or than Henri Camara (who they just got from Wigan) will score more than him.

Stoke's next two games are MASSIVE, Sunderland (a) and Portsmouth (h). Take four points from those two and the Potters might find themselves a touch higher come the March Power Rankings.

PR 17th (14th) - PL 16th (12th) Portsmouth

So in last months power rankings I said -

"I'm willing to give Tony Adams ONE more month to show me he knows what he's doing cos so far it seems like he does not."

Well just like the transfer window, I'm willing to give him a little extension, just to see how these signings turn out.

Let's not forget, Tony has lost through injury and transfer pretty much the whole midfield from last season and has tried to address that with the signings of Basinas and Gekas, now I know neither are world beaters, but I do think they could bring some solidity to a midfield much in need of some.

I've also started to become quite concerned about Tony Adams on a personal level, as this must be the most stress he has been under in quite some time I hope this dose not push him back towards to booze.... Stress can do that too you don't you know!

PR 16th (13th) - PL 15th (14th) Newcastle

Newcastle's league record since Boxing day reads like this - P 6 W 0 D 2 L 4 GS 6 GA 15 - Not the kind of form that's going to see you survive now is it?

I'm also not sure if Kevin Nolan for £4-5m is good value or not as the guy seems to have played his last good game about a year and a half ago, maybe a change of scenery will do him good.

They also lost veteran goalkeeper Shay Given to City, obviously he was fed up being in front of a back four who couldn't defend for $hit, so moving to Manchester City was the logical idea.....

 

PR 15th (17th) - PL 18th (19th) Blackburn

Last month I wrote -

"Now despite my general dislike for Fat Sam, I do however respect that he knows what he's doing in these parts of the league (after all it's not rocket science) and I'm 99% sure he will keep Rovers up."

Since then Fat Sam has won one and draw two of his three league games, add that to that two draw and a win he had before that you'll see their chugging alone at a decent pace, also if they win their game in hand they would fly up to 14th.

Didn't really sign anyone worth shouting about, but I'm still 99% sure he will keep Rovers up.

PR 14th (9th) - PL 16th (16th) Tottenham Hotspur

You know what might just keep Spurs up? Their vastly superior goal difference compared to most of the other teams down there in the relegation dogfight, well that and the £48m Football/Championship manager-esqu spending spree they have just went on.

They seem to have set their sights on rebuilding Martin Jol's Spurs side, only they could have saved themselves a lot of time and effort if they had just kept in together in the first place and been happy with two 5th placed finishes. Tsk Tsk.

Random fact - Spurs spent more money than Manchester City, who are the high rollers now?

PR 13th (11th) - PL 11th (8th) Hull

Hull have finally slipped in to the "In the thick of it" section after spending most of the season in the "looking over the shoulder" part.

I know some of you might think that's a tad harsh since there are nine teams below them but consider this - Hull have lost six of their last seven games with their only point coming at home to West Brom, hardly a good result.

Phil Brown promised to "blow your socks off" with some of his transfer window signings......... Jimmy Bullard and Zinadine Kilbane are hardly anything worth writing home about, in fact it make me think you will be going down all the more.

PR 12th (18th) - PL 13th (15th) Sunderland

Last month a was a little bit worried about Ricky bringing back Michael Chopra from loan at Cardiff, I even questioned if he knew what he was doing, turns out though he knew exactly what he was doing as it was all a ruse to get Cardiff to pay £4m for a player they were getting for free. Good move Ricky, good move!

Unfortunately for Ricky, the previous bloke in charge seemed to have spent all the money so no new transfer signing could be made. Probably better as you would hate to have to pay money for Tel Ben Haim.

 

PR 11th (12th) - PL 12th (11th) Bolton

Was not really much to separate Bolton and Sunderland so I went with who was higher and it was Bolton by +1 goal difference.

Bolton also signed two guy's on loan I'd never heard of, one being Benfica striker Ariza Makukula and the other, Jaap Stam clone Sebastien Puygrenier.

Puygrenier scored on his debut against Spurs at the weekend, Makakula is not fit apparently.

Couple more wins for Bolton and they will probably be the the "Looking over shoulder" section next month.

Speaking of which -

Looking over their Shoulder 10th -8th

These are the teams that are thankful that for now there are teams that are worse than them, but need to keep looking over their shoulders in case they get sucked in.

PR 10th (8th) - PL 9th (9th) Fulham

I think Fulham need another 10 more points from their remaining 16 games (they have two games in hand on most teams) to be safe. 39 points should be enough for this season, maybe even a tad lower.

To make sure they get these point they have decided they don't need to spend a penny, instead have load in Derby prospect Giles Barnes and veteran Inter Milan star Olivier Dacourt.

I remember Dacourt scoring a free kick for Leeds against Arsenal at Elland road about 8-9 years and me walking out of the pub and kicking a back of rubbish I didn't realize had glass bottles in it....... Hurt quite bad.

PR 9th (10th) - PL 8th (10th) West Ham

My only real big worry for Hammers fans last month was the fact all we heard was how they were going to lose half their team due to the "Credit Crunch". Well as it turn's out, the only "First Team" player they lost was Craig Bellamy (Lee Bowyer and Matthew Etherington don't count)

I think everyone on the planet like Zola, in fact I think he is so well liked that the UN should use him as a special envoy to the middle east, kind of like Tony Blair but not a prick, they do have a similar smile though despite one being evil.

PR 8th (9th) - PL 7th (7th) Wigan

I don't care what any of you other Arsenal fan's out there think, if Arsene Wenger left tomorrow and Steve Bruce was put in charge I'd have no problems with it.

I'm sure that despite the loss of Heskey and Palacios Wigan's form will not falter. Two impressive draws against two of the top four (Villa and Liverpool) in their last two games makes me think so. Only question mark for me would be the lack of form from Amir Zaki, other than that there in good shape.

Your Season Ended in August 7th - 6th

This is for those teams who will end up in mid table mediocrity, who's fans barring a cup run will have very little to get excited about. Hence, your season ended in August.

PR 7th (8th) - PL 13th (13th) Manchester City

Here's a interesting shopping list -

Nigel de Jong

Wayne Bridge

Craig Bellamy

Shay Given

Total : £47m

Dose not really seem like £47m pounds worth of players does it?

PR 6th (6th) - PL 6th (7th) Everton

Last month Everton were in the "Hunt for Europe" section, I now think they will need an assist from one of the teams above (win a cup) to push that UEFA  Europa Cup spot down.

Side Note - Everton, you are anti football. I had a brief go at them earlier in the column but now I'm telling you. You play a horrible brand of football. Your not Stoke or Bolton or some other little team who would find it extremely difficult to survive any other way. Your a team with a rich history and I know you don;t have loads of money to splash about but still.... Where's your pride?

Fourth Spot Chasers 

I think you can guess what that means.

 

PR 5th (4th) - PL 5th (5th) Arsenal

So after being evolved in one of the more annoying transfer sagas of recent memory, Arsenal finally bought someone, someone who might just bring the needed creativity to help them get in the top four..... Shame he's not played any football in two months.

I've finally dropped Arsenal to 5th in the power rankings as I could no longer deny Villa a place in the top four.

Luckily for Arsenal this isnt the last Power Rankings of the season and they still have plenty of time to make it back in to a champions league spot.

Title Chasers 4th - 1st

The big boys, the ones who dream it will be their captain lifting the trophy in may.

PR 4th (3rd) - PL 3rd (2nd) Chelsea

Chelsea have come crashing down the Power rankings in recent week quite hard. It's not all that long ago they were top of them.

This might be the most controversial move this month but seriously, who's in better form? Who at this point in time looks more likely to finish above of who? 

I'm not saying Chelsea will finish fourth at the end of the season, but neither has them signing Ricardo Quaresma made me feel like things are going to get any better for them.

PR 3rd (5th) - PL 4th (4th) Aston Villa

I guess if Aston Villa come top four Martin O'Neill wins manager of the year right?

Villa picked up just the signing they needed in Emile Heskey and didn't lose anyone either. Now with john Carew back as well their front line looks as good as ever.

I still feel the rest of their squad could fall apart at any second, but since I've been saying this for a while now and it has not happened, maybe i should shut up about it.

PR 2nd (1st) - PL 2nd (1st) Liverpool

So Liverpool's reign at the top of the Power Rankings was a brief as the time they had left to find an equalizer last night.

Lucas is rapidly turning in to Rafa's Alex Song, a player none of the fans know why he is anywhere near the first team yet the manager loves playing him.

Rafa decided that he didn't need anyone to bolster the squad (did he really deiced?). Quite a worrying decision since what happens if the often injured Fernando Torres picks up another hammy strain?

I guess David N'Gog becomes a good Fantasy pickup.

PR 1st (2nd) - PL 1st (3rd) Manchester United

So for the first time this season I'm glad to welcome the greatest, bestest, most super team in the universe ever, better than Batman, Spiderman, Superman and The Hulk combined MANCHESTER UNITED!!!!!

(Bobby Charlton was standing with a gun to my head as I wrote that)

What can I say, they look the most balanced team in the land and the only team without any glaring weaknesses, add that to recent history telling us of good United are after taking the lead after Christmas we might say the title is over.....

But it's not, we all know nothing is decided in Football until the fat lady sings and I can confirm she's still in Dixy Chicken waiting for her family bucket. If I had to put my life on it I'd say it's United's title...... Thank God it's not my life on the line.

Take Care

Football Guy 

Hi all, due to yesterday being the last day of the transfer window and all the SNOW we've had in London, I decided to postpone the Monday Hangover 24 hours or so, kind of like the FA postponed the transfer window shut time, but before we get to the meat and drink of the hangover, let me fill you in on my weekend.

What a busy weekend I ended up having. First off I got rather drunk on Friday night on 99p IPA (Can't get enough of the Green King), which lead to me quite groggy Saturday morning and me calling in work to cancel a shift I had planned for Saturday afternoon (told them I had a migraine which was not a million miles from the truth). So I decided to meet up with one of The Sport Boys (the one who hardly ever write for them) and watch the Arsenal v West Ham game on Irish Setanta...... Boy was I bored, West Ham had no ambition and Arsenal had no creativity or fan support by the sound of it which reminds me - WHATS WRONG WITH YOU BLOODY ARSENAL FANS? MAKE SOME NOISE! - I go to Arsenal games as often as I can get tickets/afford them and when I'm at the game I try to make some noise yet very few people there seem to care, they look at you as if you have just told them you have some highly contagious flesh-eating virus that will be caught by anyone within ear-shot, I've heard baby farts louder than the crowd at the Emirates on Saturday, poor.... So anyway, to get over that I went to a house party on Saturday night, got pissed, stayed over, slept in a sofa bed, broken the said sofa bed (was not alone), woke up, had pancakes made for me, then had them ruined by having nasty whipped cream put on them, tried Fanta Zero (tastes like baboon piss), went home.

- Football Guy, full of class.....

Anyway, on to Sunday night, was off to watch the Super Bowl (I do every year) and this year I was watching it in the LSE (London School of Economics) halls which a bunch of... students and took full advantage of the student bar they had there. I also had a rather large bet on the Arizona Cardinals+6.5. By halftime the student bar was shut and the nearest shop was a five minute walk away, no problem right? WRONG... Little did I know that there was a blizzard coming down outside! It took me a good 15 minutes to walk what would have been five and to make matters worse, the bag I was carrying my booze in split and I had no gloves on so I had to carry some ice cold beers with my bare hands in a blizzard.... I'm thankful I can still type. So to cut a long story short I continued to drink, won my bet and played in the snow all Monday like a hungover child.... Good Times!

Football Guy v Mark Lawrenson

Neither myself nor Mark had a particularly good week... In fact we were both poor, but unfortunately I was slightly worse.

This Week

Football Guy - PS 1 CR 3 WR 7

Lawro           - PS 1 CR 4 WR 6