Manchester United have apparently reached deals to sign Brazilian startlet Anderson from Porto, and Portuguese wonder-kid/winger Nani from Sporting Lisbon .

F*CK. SH*T. B*LL*CKS. OK, didn't need that many asterisks there, but come on. This is exactly what the Arsenal needed to do after they won in 1998/2002/2004 - strengthen. There's been no news on the transfer front apart from Robin Van Persie saying that they don't really need to sign anyone, and that Julio Baptista has decided to ship his chunky, useless self back to Madrid. COME ON! Man United have gone and signed two of the best young players in Europe (and i'd rate Anderson as one of the best young players in the world), for £35 bleedin' million pounds for the pair. That's almost Chelsea-esque.

Nani has excelled this year for a rejuvenated Sporting, and his goalscoring wingplay could see him become into one of the most dangerous attackers in Europe. Him and Cristiano Ronaldo on opposite wings might just see the introduction of double fullbacks on each side as a tactic (well Chelsea do it anyways).

Anderson is a bit more of an enigma. Back in October/November the press couldn't shut up about him, he was doing amazing things in the Champions League, Barcelona were interested, and he was enjoying his football. He's since gone off the boil a bit, but the ability is still there.

It might be a shame though if he doesn't achieve what he's supposed to at United. I know many Brazilians consider it a shame that Kleberson (one of the most talented players in Brazil at the time) never achieved his potential and ended up losing his way completely in Manchester, and I would hope that the same does not happen with Anderson, because he really is a special player. I don't really have faith in Alex Ferguson's management in this matter, but maybe Carlos Queiroz will prove crucial here.

Four years ago Man Utd missed out on Ronaldinho because they didn't want to pay a few million pounds more. Now, they're splashing out in a big way, and one or both of those players might well go on to eclipse and exceed Ronaldinho in a few years' time. 

For several years, Jim Smith, the then Derby manager (also known as the bald eagle), somehow or the other managed to keep Derby up every year. Random unknown foreigners and Britishers would arrive in, some of them would be absolutely terrible, others would be washed up underperformers or overperformers, and there would be some gems that were picked up from nowhere. Thankfully they were underpinned by the excellent goalkeeping of Estonian Mart Poom, who once was once of the best 'keepers in the league, but the rest of the squad was a hotchpotch of journeymen - Stefan Schnoor, Simo Valakari, Danny Higginbotham, Georgi Kinkladze, Fabrizio Ravanello, Malcolm Christie, Branko Strupar, Youl Mawene, Paolo Wanchope, Dean Sturridge, Deon Burton, my god... the list was endless. 

And year after year, although Jim Smith and his random signings, somehow hatched together enough points to stay up, there was never any feeling of progress. They were never building towards anything; it was all short term. The players coming in, although they did the job, were of an ever-decreasing quality, and the youth-system never produced any players of note in those years. And so it was no surprise when in 2002, Derby went down. They were a mess went they went down as well, with a large squad and wage bill to match, and almost went bankrupt and got relegated again. But they were saved - they were bought for £3, and George Burley was drafted in, and he duly steered them clear of relegation!

The new owners rebuilt the club around the philosophy of youth and development. Tom Huddlestone (now at Tottenham) and Lee Grant were building blocks of the new team, and now other exciting talents like Giles Barnes and Lewin Nyatanga will ensure they have a great future (or else a good cash-flow). They've got a great mixture of old heads and promising youngsters, and Billy Davies has done fantastically to steer them up to the Premiership again, after a long, torturous season. At won stage they looked like they would win the league outright, then they flagged badly, but they were excellent throughout the playoffs, and deserve their promotion.

Welcome back Derby! Paul Boertien will be delighted - the young defender has been there since back in the old days, and never left. Seth Johnson is back there too, although he did jump ship for Leeds in-between, but the £10m  they got for him was probaby more essential to their survival than he was.

Last night was my first ever time at Stamford Bridge, and I have to say that I was underwhelmed. Most of the fans didn't know the songs (most of which were quite uninspired), some were audibly saying stuff like "how does that one go?" and "what are they saying?", and all the shirts were from this season or the one before - no history eh?

They also have some ridiculous anthem, and silly flags that they wave about, and it gave the general impression that I was in some bizarre kind of football Disneyland. I don't really mean to slag them off at Chelski, but it was seriously uninspiring stuff - there were chants of "Chewwseaaa", "Champeeeeyuns" and one or two others that are quite generic and which i'm fairly sure have been nicked off others. Ditto for the player songs. And their support mostly seemed to be in the form of vitriol and abuse at opposition players and fans, and maybe that is just emblematic of the Chelsea/Mourinho mentality of "Us Against The World". Anyways, enough of that, on to the football...

...which as you might expect in a Champions League semi-final was a very tense, cagey affair. I personally don't think that 1 goal is enough for Chelsea up at Anfield, and Fat Frankie Lampard had a chance from which he really should have scored. Shevchenko came close a few times (but was a passenger for the rest of the game), and Joe Cole and Didier Drogba were generally a dangerous duo for most of the game, although Drogba was heavily marked and didn't really have too many shooting opportunities (but he created chances for others, including the goal).

Seeing Drogba play in the flesh really gave me an idea of just how difficult an opponent he is - he's absolutely massive and a good athlete as well. Tall, very well built, and quite quick, time-and-time again he was first to long balls, and/or easily able to get the upper-hand at balls played into the channels. He works hard and really organises the game from the front (and on more than one occassion he lectured Shevchenko, whose timid personality doesn't do him any favours in this team).

Carragher dealt with him decently, but Agger was at his wit's end, and Drogba mostly operated in his area. In the second-half they dealt with him by having Mascherano/Xabi track him and pick-up the second ball when Agger challenged him in the air, but he had already done the damage with his contribution to the goal in the first half. He charged past Agger on the right-flank and put in a low cross to Joe Cole who neatly steered the ball in. Cole was influential all game and he finally gives Chelsea that bit of attacking flair and intelligence that they've missed this season.

Mamamamakekekekelelele was solid, Mikel was decent, and I finally saw Lampard for the overrated "lucky" player that many claim he is - he did nothing all game, doesn't beat players, and thumps long (/diagonal) balls up for the winger or Drogba to get to. But he does pick up scraps in front of goal, and if it wasn't for a super save from Reina, he would have volleyed in for 2-0 and more or less killed the tie. Ashley Cole might as well not have been there - at Arsenal he was an exciting, tenacious, attacking fullback; at Chelsea he is a slightly confused, reasonably steady left-back who just thumps 50-60 yard curling balls into the box for Drogba, and occassionally makes forays and crosses into the box. Chelsea really isn't the place for footballing fullbacks, and on the night Paulo Ferreira didn't seem like fullback who even knew how to play football - he was beaten time and time again by Boudewijn Zenden of all people, and he's just lucky that Zenden couldn't shoot, cross or pass to save his life.

That was it really, there were more poor performances on show than good ones, and Liverpool were really bad. I can't believe why Rafa Benitez put out the side that he did, but i'm sure that we'll see a completely different Liverpool at Anfield. Resting Peter Crouch was strange, and omitting Pennant (who has been in good form of late) was a sign that they were willing to play for a draw and maybe steal one on the break with Bellamy's pace. As it were, Bellamy was just awful - Chelsea defended deep, and never pushed up so he never had anywhere to run into. Kuyt can't quiyt act as the proper foil for him, and Liverpool generally looked like a side that didn't know what they were doing.

Gerrard was excellent, and influential, but had nothing happening in front of him (constant comments from the Chelsea fans all night along the lines of "ee should of come to Chewww-seee", which was also what they said in reference to any other good player that someone decided to talk about... amazing what a bit of money does to people eh?). He had one fantastic volley saved by Cech, which was the only real save that he made all game. This was in stark contrast to Pepe Reina at the other hand who made a series of breath-taking saves at the other end. He was Drogba's rival for Man of the Match, and if Liverpool go on to salvage anything in the second leg, they have him to thank for keeping the scores level.

Finally, a quick mention about the "ghost penalty" that Mourinho keeps going on about - I haven't seen the incident on TV, but I was seated directly in line with it, and to me it seemed that the ball bounced up off Arbeloa's knee or thigh onto his hand (which was by his side). Ball-to-hand if there ever was one and I think the referee made the right decision, although Mourinho being Mourinho, the Special One with Special Needs, no decision will ever satisy him.

Anyways though, it's all just fuel for the fire that is the game at Anfield. There will be the Kop and all the fans to deal with, as well as (i'm hoping) a more attacking line-up. Steve Finnan was badly missed, and Pennant and Crouch will play in the second-leg, maybe even Mark Gonzalez. The attack in London was completely void of any guile or invention, and Luis Garcia, inconsistent as he is, is a big loss in this department.

Anyhow, next week should be quite the game, and the atmosphere will be something special up there... let's see if Chelsea can handle it.

Barcelona and Manchester United. They are both struggling. Oh yes they are.

On a weekend of upsets, Barcelona lost 1-0 away at Zaragoza, and United went down 2-1 at Portsmouth. Both sides are choking badly, and while United have a once-again consistent Chelsea grinding out wins and catching up with them, Barcelona are fortunate to have equally bad chokers Sevilla as their title challengers. Time and time again Sevilla have failed to capitalise on Barca's slip-ups, and on Saturday they could only manage a goalless draw against Racing Santander in response to Barca's defeat, which came courtesy of a typically opportunistic Diego Milito strike .

It all certainly has provided a very interesting twist to the finishes of Europe's two major leagues. A while ago, United looked confident and in-control, especially when Chelsea were struggling, but the tables look like they might be turned now. Henrik Larsson is being sorely missed. He might not have set the world on fire in his short spell at Old Trafford, but he was an experienced, top-class player that they had in an attack short of depth; his departure has left the attack short of ideas and confidence, and just 3 points ahead of Chelsea.

Rooney hasn't scored many this year, neither has Saha, and Solskjaer has been patchy when fit. Cristiano Ronaldo has been their main threat, and it looks like a situation where they will now have to prioritise between the Champions League and the Premiership, although that problem might not last much longer if they fail to overturn their 2-1 first leg away defeat against AS Roma. Ferdinand will have to regain his confidence after scoring a wildly entertaining own goal at the weekend, and Van der Sar has looked a bit shaky – he failed to cleanly either hold or punch away shots against Roma and Pompey , both of which resulted in similar rebound goals.

Barca however have no real excuses. Eto'o and Messi are both fit and the latter has been wonderful since his return from injury, they have a team that is far stronger than last season's and really should be doing better. But they have been generally shaky this term, and slipping up a lot. They are out of the Champions' League, and should be focussing 100% on domestic duties, but somehow seem to have confused their objectives even more by handing the initiative to everyone else. Barca are on 56 points, Sevilla are on 55, Real Madrid are on 54, and Zaragoza and Valencia are both on 50 .

Not many people have mentioned much about Zaragoza this season, but they have been steadily climbing up the the league, and whilst their 1-0 win over Barca might be considered an upset by most, there are some who will look at the league table and say that every team in the top 7 is very, very tricky. Barca have already lost to Real, Valencia, Sevilla and Zaragoza this year, and if you can't beat your opponents at the top, then you don't deserve to win. Something just seems to be awry at the Nou Camp, and I wouldn't be surprised to see Rijkaard gone in the summer.

Anyway, off to sleep for me. Tomorrow's Champions League action could make me a very, very happy man if both Man United and Chelsea go out of the competition :)

A roundup of some YouTube goodness concerning the "Fake Ronaldo", Cristiano. Nice light-hearted stuff inspired by his incessant step-overs and diving: