Today Mexico handed the United States nothing short of a savage, savage beating at The Meadowlands. After seven years of hearing gloating chants of "Two-Nil!" the Mexicans finally have a chant of their own.

5-0.

While watching the match I was attempting to figure out a way to explain it, as I watched I continued to ask myself how it happened. I didn't know, there was no way to explain it, Mexico simply hammered the United States. Each goal was a lesson in how to play football, how to pass, how to run, how to dribble, how to play off the ball, and how to finish. The penalty could be disputed, but there was no doubt that Jay Heaps grabbed some of Gio dos Santos' top in the process. Giovanni made a meal of the shirt tug, but Heaps should've known better. To be honest, he was a bit of a bomb scare every time he stepped onto the field and he ended his Gold Cup by being sent off stupidly.

It's hard to place blame for the loss, the score was 0-0 at half time and the Americans seemed to be in control, but sometime shortly after the start of the second half a very important component fell off somewhere, and whatever it was, it was missed big time.

Sadly this beating, and it was nothing short of that, will take some of the gloss off of the Confederations Cup run in the eyes of a newer fan who may not fully understand the difference between the teams that played. This was without any doubt our B, or even C team. But we can't make excuses, we simply can't lose 5-0. We can't lose 5-0 anywhere. Not at Azteca, not at Saprissa, and especially not in the United States. It's embarrassing.

We heard a lot about the superior American athletic ability, the superior American strength, and the superior American fitness, and we were shown again why those facts are brought up so much. The inferior American artistry. Yes, we have artistic players, but it's been exposed once again that we aren't producing enough of them. In South Africa we had Benny Feilhaber, Landon Donovan. Charlie Davies, and Clint Dempsey. Men who can paint beautiful pictures with the ball. At the Gold Cup we had Kyle Beckerman and Stuart Holden, both of whom were superb until the final, but seemed overwhelmed by the fact that they were playing Mexico. In this country we value strength and muscle, it's pushed on our young athletes from a young age. We force fed vertical leaps and 40 times until our ears bleed from an overload of numbers. Strength and speed are wonderful, and you absolutely need players who have those things, but we neglect the artistic side of the game. The side of the game that makes Argentina and Brazil so great. This needs to be fixed.

Today Mexico showed us, five times, why this matters so much.

Next month we have to travel to Mexico City, to the feared Estadio Azteca. Yesterday we were actually favored to win this match. Today? No. We have a lot of thinking, and a lot of work ahead of us.

Guadeloupe 1 - 5 Costa Rica

Minnows Guadeloupe found themselves completely overpowered by schizophrenic giant Costa Rica as they were well beaten by the Ticos at the Cowboys Stadium in Arlington.

The stadium is quite glamorous but the pitch appears to be very tight, though not as tight as Lincoln Financial Field was yesterday. The speed of the artificial surface played to the favor of Costa Rica who are somewhat used to it playing most of their home matches at Estadio Saprissa. Costa Rica got on the board very early after a spectacular overhead from Celso Borges who actually plied his trade at Saprissa before moving to Norway this year. It wasn't long before Álvaro Saborío added a second, he'd go on to score a brace in this match.

Shortly after halftime former Chicago Fire man Andy Herron scored Costa Rica's third before Paris-born Alexandre Alphonse got one back for Guadeloupe on a well worked counter. Despite the scoreline Guadeloupe did have chances but failed to convert, Utrecht's Loïc Loval the main offender.

Just before stoppage time Costa Rica notched a fifth, Pablo Herrera Barrantes with a professional finish.

Mexico 4 - 0 Haiti

Mexico are starting to look like Mexico again.

El Tri dominated Haiti for much of the match and the scoreline was reflective of that in a 4-0 victory.

Miguel Sabah opened the scoring on 23 minutes after a Haiti defender handled the ball in the area to set up an Israel Castro penalty attempt, Dominique Jean-Zérphirin guessed right and made the save but Sabah was able to poke home the rebound to give Mexico a 1-0 lead in front of 82,532 in Arlington.

Despite occasional treks forward from Haiti, mainly Puerto Rico Islanders front-man Fabrice Noel, Mexico dominated the first half and found another goal on 42 minutes when Gio dos Santos, the former Barca youth now playing at Ipswich Town scored a fine goal from the edge of the area, it was his first in international play.

Mexico started the second half much the same and eventually put the game beyond any doubt when Sabah completed his brace by scoring with a header off a corner kick.

In the 83rd minute Mexico completed the rout when Pablo Barrera put a superb volley beyond Zérphirin in the Haiti goal.

The win means Mexico will move on to face Costa Rica in the nightcap at Soldier Field on Thursday.

I apologize in advance for only watching one match and any errors in the article, my medicine has made me hilariously sleepy this week.

Though there were chances in the first half nothing really perked me up until Jimmy Conrad had a head-to-head collision with a Panamanian player who's name escapes me, Conrad came off by far the worst and was bleeding out of his mouth. He looked spaced out. After halftime it was announced that he'd been taken to the hospital with a concussion. Good luck to him.

Things got worse for the US after the Conrad incident, Panama went down to the other end and scored after a corner kick. Some shambolic defending by the Americans eventually let Blas Perez have an easy chance and he made it 1-0. Some fan ripped his shirt off in the celebrations, Max Bretos said he could've gotten booked for it (he was already on a yellow) but the referee gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Following halftime the Americans equalized with a long range effort from Kyle Beckerman who had a superb match. Beckerman has done a good job putting himself into the shop window during the Gold Cup, don't be shocked if Europe beckons soon.

Later on Stuart Holden came close to making it 2-1 but his effort brushed wide of the far post. Substitute Kenny Cooper also had chances but couldn't convert.

For long spells of the second half Panama couldn't get forward at all, Troy Perkins probably took a nap. They did threaten late but were unable to do anything.

The match went into extra time where the US again had the run of play and managed to score after Cooper was speared in the box which lead to a penalty, Cooper converted.

The second half of extra time saw more of the same, and the match stayed 2-1. Panama's keeper did the slowest walk up ever to attack a corner at the end, he didn't even get to the box. It was weird.

All in all a good win for the Americans, but alarm bells will be ringing since Conrad will likely miss the semifinal, and probably final. That doesn't leave the team with many centerbacks by trade though Goodson did well stepping in.

Who designed Lincoln Financial Field? Was it done with only a ruler? Seriously, that place has no curves at all. Yes, I like curvy stadiums and curvy girls. I totally didn't say that. Stadium comments aside, Philadelphia produced a good crowd, something around 31,500. If they can do that for Philadelphia Union that'll be excellent.

Anyway, the US will play Honduras in the semifinals. The other two participants will be determined tomorrow in Dallas.

The 2009 edition of the CONCACAF Gold Cup kicks off today in Carson, California when Costa Rica plays El Salvador followed by Jamaica and Canada at the same venue.

It's not really a big deal, the Gold Cup, and that can be seen by looking at the weakened squads the top sides have sent to the tournement. Of course in Mexico's case they may simply be looking at new players to attempt to stop the slide of the disasterous World Cup qualifiying campaign.  This year the Gold Cup means even less since it's a "mid-term" edition where a spot in the Confederations Cup, which is very meaningful to CONCACAF teams, isn't on the line. The winner only gets the trophy.

As usual the United States and Mexico qualified automatically, for some reason Canada qualifies automatically as well. I'm not bashing Canada but on merit that should be Costa Rica's spot. I guess it has to do with the "mini-zones", Canada is in the NAFU which includes the two other automatic qualifiers since Bermuda plays in the CFU and Greenland isn't a CONCACAF member. Probably not though. It's all money based anyway.

In 2007 Guadeloupe, a CONCACAF member but not a FIFA member (ask Jack Warner, not me), surprised everyone and finished fourth in the tourement. They were lead by ex-French international (yes, Guadeloupe can use previously capped players) Jocelyn Angloma. He scored an amazing goal against Canada in the group stages and provided great senior leadership for his team. Currently he plays club football on the island for fun in his retirement. They haven't brought him along this time. This is important to note because they could well use Thierry Henry this way one day. This time they qualified by finishing as runners-up to Jamaica in the CFU zone.

Cuba withdrew from the tournement amid fears that players would leave again (that wasn't the official reason, but yea...) so Haiti and Trinidad & Tobago were placed into a draw (this is how CONCACAF works, people) and Haiti won, so Haiti gets to play in Cuba's place. Grenada also qualified for the cup, they join Nicaragua as debutants in this edition.

Panama, shock runners-up in 2005, will make their fourth apperence after they won the Central American zone qualifiers. They will be joined by Costa Rica, current leaders of the World Cup qualifying group, who will be making their ninth apperence, Honduras in their ninth, and El Salvador in their sixth.

Canada, Mexico and the United States were kept seperate for the "draw" which saw Canada get both Costa Rica and Jamaica in their group. The matches for this group will be played in Carson (LA), Miami, and Columbus. Nifty travel arrangment, Jack.

Group B features the United States against Grenada, Honduras and Haiti. Honduras aren't exactly creampuffs but I doubt the USA will be sweating bullets over the other two, but they can't afford to be cocky after bringing what is essentially a "B-minus team".

Mexico got Guadeloupe, Panama, and Nicaragua so that they can win the group and sell out the new Cowboys Stadium in the quarterfinals. On recent form Panama could take Mexico if they don't play scared.

I disagree with the choice of the Meadowlands for the final, particularly as they've picked Qwest Field and that thing Jerry Jones built to host earlier matches, why not put the final in one of those venues? Why put it in that piece of crap in a swamp? Sigh. I'll never understand how CONCACAF works. Not that I really want to.

Gold Cup

The matches for the 2009 CONCACAF Gold Cup have been announced with Costa Rica and El Salvador set to kick-off the competition at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California on July 3rd. Jamaica and Canada will round out Group A which will play matches at the aforementioned Home Depot Center, FIU Stadium in Miami, and Crew Stadium in Columbus.

Group B sees regional giants the United States and Honduras matched up with minnows Grenada and Haiti. Seattle's Qwest Field, Foxborough's Gillette Stadium and DC's RFK will host the group.

Finally group C sees Mexico face Panama, Nicaragua, and Guadeloupe. Panama and Guadeloupe have proved stronger than they look in recent Gold Cups and will hope to build upon those foundations. Mexico find themselves struggling as of late but have more than enough power to win the group.

The quarterfinals will be played at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia and the Dallas Cowboys' Stadium in Arlington, Texas. The semifinals will both take place at Soldier Field in Chicago with the final on July 26th in East Rutherford, New Jersey at the Meadowlands.

FC New York

As previously stated, FC New York will join the United Soccer Leagues First Division in 2010. It is a bold move for the ownership of the club who have started their ambitions to play in the CONCACAF Champions League soon. American USL clubs have one route to the Champions League, the Open Cup, and that will not be an easy task. That said, it's nice to see someone shoot for the stars.

The team will play most, if not all, matches during their first season at the 15,000-capacity James M. Shuart Stadium at Hofstra University on Long Island. This has been met with some derision as fans would like the team to play in New York City proper. That said, ownership has reportedly stated it's intentions to build a stadium in Queens. Again, ambitious, but nice to see.

The team will attempt to capture fans who feel they have been alienated by Red Bull New York either through their dissatisfaction with the club being used as a promotional vehicle or the fact that the team has never played home matches in New York.