Bouncebackability

A word that can be used as a noun, verb, or an adjective and is a word that was made up only so the papers had an excuse for printing 'SHOCK, CRISIS AT n CLUB' the week before.  The word is thought never to be used by those such as Shakespeare, or anybody outside of the English Press.


My Lord, how I hate the press.  I understand about how the Premier League and its riches (which I am not against) have been bred through the extensive reporting on the subject (even though Murdoch has his hands in two pies) and that many clubs use the media for their own benefit.  The press in England are bad, they react so fast to anything, and to get more traction than the newspaper next to them they print increasingly fantastic headlines and write totally out of proportion to anything that has happened in the last month.  Lets look at the the latest from The Sun, unfortunately controlled by Rupert Fucking Murdoch (I do believed he changed his name to that, it was just easier for everyone).

    Chelsea plot 55m spree | The Sun | Sport | Football

    A Chelsea source said: "Abramovich has drawn up a list of options for the New Year.

    Atletico are asking silly money. If they don't get real Roman will switch to Suarez and try to do a    deal     with Ajax instead.

    "It's not just strikers, though. Jerko is the one they are looking at to come in as a defensive midfielder,     although De Rossi and Rodwell are also on the radar.

    "So it should be a busy time because the desire is there, the money is there, the options are there."


Ok, lets look at the problems with this shall we?  Firstly, 'A Chelsea source'? No matter if the source said 'we are not signing anybody' The Sun still would have run the story, Even if Ancelotti had said 'there is no way in hell that I will sign anybody and would prefer to have my chin fat removed with a calculator' The Sun would still run the story.  Their priority is not printing the truth but shifting product.  They care not what goes into the paper, just what goes into the till at the end of the day.
Secondly, this 'Chelsea source', they are on the payroll, so naturally they are going to want a good cut, so they fudge the numbers, skim off the top, they could be the fucking janitor...they could be the tour guide...think of all the people that work at Stamford Bridge, any one of them could be the Chelsea source.  And at the end of the day, the sources gussy up what they say to make sure they get their cash.
Thirdly, which do you want to read more? The Daily Mail with 'Mancini Sheiks on it: Man City boss met owner weeks before Hughes was axed' or the Independent 'Cook: plan to replace Hughes began in summer'.  
You have little sub-editors, whose job it is to write the headlines (so that managers cannot attack journos, see Kinnear J, having a go at a journo who just kept repeating 'I didn't write the headline, did you read the copy?' Kinnear was too smart for him, called him a cunt, and then got fired by the enormous Geordie with regrets'

The press jump on a game, say that its all gone to shit because Arsenal lost to Chelsea, and then, when we beat Liverpool its back to 'Title Hopes Alive'.  Then when we draw with Burnley its 'Title Hopes in Shatters' or 'Arsenal's Crisis' or 'Arsenal must spend'.  This blog is causing a lot of rage in me because as a rational person I find it offensive to me that the idiots in executive positions think they can shift product by telling me that I'm stupid, and that one draw does constitute a crisis, or is equivalent to losing the title.

Then, the next week, the team wins, and the same people try to convince me that I was wrong, Arsenal are title chances, and I was a fool to discount this.  Now in case I remember that last week they were trumpeting that Arsenal had not a hope in hell, they invented this word.  Bouncebackability.  This means that they were correct the week before, but the team has Bouncebackability.  It makes me sick.

IN OTHER NEWS
ChampionshipManageritis is still strong, I love the game so much, here's a hint, Buy Victor Agali, worth every penny.  Why is everybody saying that Man City lack class because they got Toure to tell the team that Hughes was sacked, its a flipping sacking, not a black tie event, its not supposed to be classy, what do they want? Hughes to leave to the trumpet voluntary?  Liverpool will finish in the top four but and Benitez will finish as manager, one of my Liverpool mates says that he signed a massive contract so that Liverpool couldn't payout if his team started sucking.  I doubt that however, do you remember the Valencia teams that the bearded one put together? Magnificent.  Lastly Merry Christmas, with the following exceptions: Rupert Murdoch.  Phil Brown.  And Cristiano Ronaldo

Remember, to any attacks I may receive, I have a right of reply

Now I know that I'm the type who will lead the reader on, drawing them so far into my blog post so as they have to read more.  Usually I do this with my blog titles.  I mean, my favourite post I've written is 'Shock! Leeds finish runner up in Champion's League for fourth straight year'.  You want to read that, don't you ... no?  OK, but make sure you read this post, which is as blunt and to-the-point as ... well, its so blunt and to-the-point that similes would make it less blunt and to-the-point, so I'll just move on shall I?

Yes we played AZ last night, and we were outplayed until our first goal, Koeman had an organized midfield that would drop very deep when we had the ball, thus making it nigh on impossible for us to pass our way through, and their last line of defense was very disciplined and we found it hard to break down on the counter.  To the credit of Arsenal the lads took the shot as soon as one presented itself, which is something I like to see.  Rockin' Robin was impressive for mine, he should have scored from a header but he took some good shots and that free kick was impressive.  But this brings me onto my first gripe.  When we get free kicks we are impotent.  Cesc allegedly said over the summer that arsenal need some football Viagra, I'm not sure where this is purchased or how it works, or if Cristiano Ronaldo bought the entire stock when he moved to Spain when he thought it was a special Viagra for footballers, but Arsenal need it for free kicks.  RVP just doesn't seem to be clinical from them, we have scored some this year because Vermaelen gets in there, but I would like to see a lot more free kicks from RVP in the 'threatening' category, and less in the 'tame and headed out' category.

When RVP went off and Vela (who was hacked down in the box, pen for mine) came on I knew that Cesc or Arshavin would be taking the free kicks, so I thought 'hmm, good to see this, I've wondered if Cesc is the natural FK taker in the team.'  But I was wrong, Cesc puts them in too high, and too floaty, the easiest ball to take for a goalie because it gives him time to get into position and take the ball at the right time.  Cesc needs to deliver the ball in with more speed otherwise it's easy pickings for the goalie, RVP needs to deliver the ball in to somebody.  Who is Arsenal's best free kick taker ... I don't know, I just don't know.

On to the defense, and an admission, my friends.  I'm a goalie, and everybody knows that in every goalie, is a frustrated striker, which is why I can coach strikers, because I spent my entire watching the attackers, but I'm not great at coaching, or analysing defenders.  Essentially, I can tell you if a striker had a good game, not so much defenders.  But there was not much that needed in depth analysing in the last few minutes of the AZ game, twice our entire defensive line was caught flat footed.  The first time our defense showed signs of worry the AZ player darted in to shoot wide, and the next was in the 92nd when AZ equalised, I would have liked a win today, but because Song didn't move with his man it left our defense weak and then everything snowballed to the goal.  

However, you all know this, what do we do about it?  Well, a return to the old Arsenal offside trap would be nice, the old walk and down dance, I like doing the Arsenal offside trap dance at the pub, unfortunately some people mistake it for line dancing and ask me if I'm a fucking poof.  I should mention that that was all lies so we shall continue.  But the defensive line need to prioritise and visualise runs that are going to be made, and have a bit more communication needed, and above all, look at the players hips.  To mark a player look at their hips, don't stare at the ball, watch it when it is kicked, work out if it is going to be a threat and then follow your man in.

Well that's it from me, no training this week due to the dreaded lurgy, all right.

IN OTHER NEWS
beachball, that is all.  Ha, you fools thought I was going to talk about it.  No, I've absolutely no interest in it.  I must admit that Arsenal's defending isn't as bad as Rafa's zonal marking system, I think the conversation went down in the dressing room after the Sunderland game

Rafa: What the Hell was that, were you having a laugh, it's not bloody rocket science!

Carragher: Can we skive off and do some rocket science gaffer? its just easier.

What a funny man I am.

Best. Goon

I could make up some lies, oh yes.  I'm good at that kind of thing, like Kranjcar going to Spurs or whatnot.  But I shall not.  But then I think, the only reason that people are not drinking themselves into a steady stupor is due to the fact that they want to be mildly conscious when Arsene has a massive (yet not fatal) brain injury that leads him to believe that Arsenal should sign Messi, and the corpse of the late, great, Johnny Warren.  As such, they trawl the internet looking for the news of the latest bid, therefore, it would be irresponsible for me, the Time's Person of the Year winner from 2006, to not lead you astray with my complicated web of lies.  However, in a mind-bending and boring paradox, I have no real interest in deadline day.  Mainly because Arsenal never sign anyone, save Arshavin, but that was exceptional.  So I will report my usual story, but inside that story I will post some lies that you can tell your mate, or the Sun can report as a 'source deep inside x'.

I digress however.

What I actually want to write about is a subject I've had on my mind for some time, indeed the title of this blog should not be the title that you read above, but 'If we can see it, so can Arsene'.  As I can mentally see you all closing this page in Mozilla (anyone who uses IE is not allowed to read this blog), time for a lie, methinks.  however, I will do this in a more scientific way than most of the tabloids.  I have in my hand Rothman's for 09-10, I will open it to a random page, pick a player, then open it to another random page, and say that the player will transfer to the club on the second random page.

20 year old Sunderland player Jamie Chandler will move to Barnsley for 850 000 quid.

Too often I watch Arsenal games in frustration.  This is unfortunate, yet true, especially after last year.  And I will often think that a player is not good enough for Arsenal, say Denilson or Diaby.  I like both of these players, but at the moment I don't think that they are up to the Arsenal calibre.

29 year old Brentford midfielder Adam Newton will move to Dundee United for 150 000 quid

Denilson seems a bit anonymous and Diaby is a player that is only good at a certain time.  however, as I pondered what I was to do for my next blog entry and wondered how many people will take notice or care (0) I thought.  If we can see this, so can Arsene.  If we can see what we think are problems in the Arsenal side, he can see them clearer, if we think a player is not good enough for Arsenal, he sees it more accurately.  In short, Arsene Wenger is the only manager that Arsenal should have, and if things go balls up like they did last year, then I am behind the manager, and will not waver in that.  Arsene Wenger is a hero of mine and I hope that Arsenal fans remember this when we next have a disappointing game.

In other news

I stayed up to watch the first half of the Arsenal Man U game.  As I went to bed I thought, 'tomorrow, I should do a blog about Diaby, and why I don't think he is good enough for Arsenal.'  I wake up, Diaby, OG 63rd minute.  Bow down and worship my footballing knowledge which is matched only by my ego.

Joey Barton (this should be good) to League 1 side Colchester United for 3.5 million, which Newcastle will pay in installments over the next two years.  

Best, Goon 

Good day fellow Gooners, I am quivering with excitement, the demo of CM2010 is due for release in less than 24 hours.  But also because I got my first ever issue of Rothman's Football Yearbook, I have lost my Rothman's virginity.  Lastly, I am quivering because Everton have one available centre half.

The fear that Joseph Yobo thrusts into my heart is roughly equivalent to say, my fear of getting run down by an old Catholic priest in a modified Volkswagen Passat, non-existent.  A man who played 27 games in a defence that was tight, but will be without Lescott (Moyes hates him) and Jags.  So they will have to use a 17 year old or a reserve player.  Happy days.

I would love it if we beat them, mainly because I have a mate who likes the Everton away shirt.  Unfortunately I don't have anywhere I can watch the game, my brother (the IT guru in our family, everyone has an IT guru) has blocked the site I normally use to watch games.

Less about me, the defender situation is looking shaky at the moment, we have a couple of defenders listed in Rothman's, the best young lad coming through is Kerrea Gilbert who had a decent season with Leicester City last year so he may start in a few games.  If we do get a week 33 to 35 scenario we are royally screwed.  I think we may need one or two more defenders, maybe it is time for Arsene to give way to popular opinion...

Not much more tonight, I'm going for a few Gin and Tonics.  Yes, I am an old man.

I am sat at my uni library, and friends, I am downcast.  A fellow student may walk by and ask if I was crestfallen, yet I would reply yes, although I just have a naturally crestfallen face.  they would have to look only at my Arsenal beanie to realise the true meaning of my mood.

Normally after a player has been sold I will look at our reserves, pick out a few with the best names and, voila, we have a replacement.  Or I could point out that over the course of the season last year we had many injuries, and that losing a centre-half will not matter.  Or I could point out that Silvestre was in poor form, and that he still has a few years in him.  Or I could point out that our young squad is maturing, and that the overall sum of improvement in our young players will be equal to losing one experienced player.  But this time, I won't.  My heart tells me to say these things.  But my head disagrees.

Now I realise that I may not be the most knowledgeable man in football, and that many others have supported Arsenal since long before I was born.  But I feel that losing Kolo Toure will hurt Arsenal.  If we got 15 million for him, as some reports say, then we have that amount to add to our backline of Gallas, Senderos, Djourou, Vermaelen, Clichy, Sagna, Gibbs, and Silvestre.  Now most people would look at that and say that we are fine, no problem with that as it is.  Let's look at Manchester United: Erva, Brown, Ferdinand, Vidic, Fabio, Rafael, John O'Shea, Johnny Evans, Gary Neville and Danny Simpson. Ten top class players, even though they are all wankers.  Chelsea has nine and Liverpool has nine.  We have eight, and one of those isn't up to the job, and another has just come from the Dutch league, and will inevitably need time to adjust.  Each of the big four has one great bastion in defense.  Terry, Vidic, Carragher and err...Gallas.  No disrespect but he is hardly Tony Adams, he had the captaincy stripped and allegedly threatened to score own goals against Chelsea if a move was not forthcoming. 

I would love to see Wenger bring someone in, not Hangeland but a young lad, with some coal on his face.  How much for David Wheater?  Firstly because he is a good young defenders and secondly because that would piss off a boro fan I know.  Will Wenger buy? Who knows.  What I do know is that Arsenal do have a chance to win, yesterday I claimed that I would put money on Arsenal winning the Carling and FA cups.  Then someone asked if I would put $50 on it (25 quid), I replied that I would not, as the odds are very long.  But we do need a bit of investment back there, we have the money, hell, we have 40 million from transfers alone.  A good bit of transfer business from Arsenal could see this season be our most productive in six years.

In other news, I am currently writing a report on ownership of football clubs, what is the current feeling towards Usmanov versus Kroenke?  Arsenal will do a deadline day deal for a young defensive midfielder.  Watch Arsenal this year, we will surprise many people.  Also a quick F Off to The Daily Mail (saying we will not finish inside the top four) The Sun (same reason) and especially the racists at Talksport.  How I hate you all, I wish ill on you.

Now there are 3 types of weblogs, commonly known as blogs.  The 'Who, What, When, Where' type.  The 'writes 4 posts' type.  and the Analytical type.  The Goonbag is the more analytical style.  Which is why I don't update as regularly as other blogs may, I wait until the world is waiting for my input to a situation, then, once they are thirsting for it so, that they can only yell and rip out their hair, do I give them my opinion.

I have managed, through about 15 minutes of web trawling, to find the 2009/10 regulations for the Champion's League Competition.

Here they are.

Now, a number of people I have talked to do not understand these new rules.  Each club registers 25 players.  Lets take Arsenal

We send this list into UEFA.  Almunia, Fabianski, Mannone, Clichy, Gibbs, Vermaelen, Gallas, Toure, Djourou, Sagna, Eboue, Denilson, Diaby, Fabregas, Arshavin, Song, Nasri, Walcott, Rosicky, Ramsey, Wilshire, Van Persie, Adebayor, Vela, Bendtner, Eduardo.

Now, this is where it gets tricky, and I will have to do some analysing.  eight players must be 'locally trained players' at least four of these blokes must be 'club trained players' and at most four must be 'association trained players'.  Don't worry, Simon Clifford is not fainting yet.  Lets break this down, with HTML and MS Paint.

This is my explanation of the new rules, simply.  Now, exactly what is a 'club' and 'association' player?

A club based player has been registered with the club for three whole seasons, while he was between the ages of 15 and 21.  Any age, any nationality, lets look at who fits the bill for the Arsenal.  Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Denilson, Alex Song, Johan Djourou, Vito Mannone, Nicklas Bendtner, Armand Traore.  Seven players,  and we have 1 association trained player (been registered for any team or teams registered in The FA for three whole years between the ages of 15 and 21) in Aaron Ramsay.  so that is the eight players we need to compete in the Champion's League.  Don't be surprised to see Arsene Wenger bring in one or two association based players just in case injuries strike again.

But due to the gaffer's brilliant mind and forward thinking, we do not need to do a Chelsea or buy a full-back for 18 million, when he is worth 8.  Our youth policy has done us well, think about that next time you bag Arsene Wenger.

In other news

it only takes a fortnight to grow a decent beard.  If your wife tells you that your beard has to go, say no, if she asks with more force.  divorce.

This is a pearl of wisdom from 'The Beards' www.thebeards.com.au

Check them out

I'm out

'til next time, The Bag

It’s been some time between drinks, my gratitude to my ISP who have willingly screwed us over for the past 2 months, it may be more time between aforementioned drinks, as again, the internet has dropped out leaving me effectively cut off from civilisation.  That and a possible Kaka move may go through today; luckily I am heading out to uni where all should be revealed (even though a certain ‘red-top’ made up the story).

In the world of Arsenal the fallout continues from last season, with some blogs taking an aggressive stance against Wenger, some backing him, and some are undecided or pending decision.  Most other news from Arsenal is that people are heaping praise on Alex Song.  While Song has played brilliantly for the second half of the season, from February on, I would like to express caution.  People, even 20 year olds, have form fluctuations, and we have no guarantee that he will remain in the ‘zone’.

I do not, however, believe that we need an experienced centre mid, in fact, I think we can sell Song to get a reasonable price for him.  It seems as though at the moment our midfield has a lot of players, let’s count them.  Rosicky, Arshavin, Nasri, Walcott, Cesc, Song, Eboue, Denilson, and this is not taking into account, Coquelin, Ramsay, Wilshire and Emmanuel-Thomas.  Assuming all are fit that is a selection I don’t want to make, if we added a Toure or a new unspecified Frenchman, how would that look?  A best team for Arsenal through the mids would be:
Nasri                      Rosicky                 Cesc                       Arshavin.

Unfortunately with this midfield we can only play 4, when Wenger tried 4-5-1 it failed, and apart from it being the most negative formation in the world, I don’t think Arsenal played it well.  When we played 4-5-1 against Man U they played 4-6-0.  So when we had the ball they would camp in their half, but we couldn’t play the ball in, so Cesc dropped deeper and deeper back, the full backs couldn’t get up because Man U can hit them too easily on the break and Adebayor, while not trying to get the ball, was closed down when he did. A 4-4-2 situation would allow for Adebayor to dump and roll with RVP.

Well time to peruse the morning lies.
lie 1) Cesc is Barcelona’s top target this summer, courtesy of AS and goal.com (as they both lie they are essentially the same entity)
lie 2) Eboue on way out (this one may be true) apparently Inter are interested after a less than barnstorming year for everyone’s favourite right back/mid
lie 3) Adebayor to Milan for 15 million courtesy of the Sun, I’d prefer a bit more for him really.

Enough lies, in my opinion every rumour is a lie until you see the player in the strip playing for the team he went to.

 Best, Goon

Tell you what, Arsenal, one of these days, are going to give me a heart attack.  Being engaged in a game of Risk, which ultimately I lost, I missed the first half.  And from what I've been told I'm quite happy I did miss the first half.  Now let's not beat around the bush, the best Arsenal blog out there is arseblog.  I read it religiously, and he has a rather intense hatred of Silvestre or who he calls Sylvester.  And I know some Arsenal fans who feel the same way and we're not happy when Djourou got injured, because Silvestre had to be introduced into the fray.

 

So we had Bendtner upfront -- which is always a recipe for disaster, as you'll remember from my last post, if you wnat him to score, wait a year or two -- a five-man midfield, which Wenger has never played well, and a defense that included Kieran Gibbs and Silvestre.  Up against team like Wigan, who have been good this year, we could've been rooted, so speak.  I did get to see five minutes of the first half, proving that I was lying to you earlier, we were almost playing like we did in the final 10 minutes of the Aston Villa game earlier in the season.  And when we came out for the second half we look like a totally reinvented team, so Wenger must have kicked some of them up the arse.

I'm incredibly frustrated first of all because I'm using a dictation program and I have to teach it all the words, such as Wenger -- which I have pronounced with the W -- and there is music blasting through my house so somehow it gets worse like ' hanging ' mixed up with 'down with the sickness '.  But I'm more frustrated because when we are playing Wigan we get a chance to show our dominance immediately, and at the same time we would've given a warning to [let's see how Dragon speaking likes this] Villareal.  [That's stunning it got it the first time round].

One of these days the Arsenal football club will give me a heart attack, when it comes to these games that we have to win to keep the pressure on Chelsea and Aston Villa, and with 60 minutes in, playing like shite, and losing to Wigan, I was just thinking 'holy crap, we are boned'.

When Theo hit that goal, I made up a little song.  I shall indulge you

[the cheering of 'we are going on a bear hunt']

when Henry left he took 14, Theo, Theo
you'll see him running down the wing, Theo, Theo
he got a shoulder injury, but he'll be back, and then you'll see
that he's Theo Walcott, Arsenal's speedster king.

Brilliance isn't it?  I know it is because I wrote it myself.  The next three goals were just amazing, just watching them was stunning.  Silvestre's goal was one of the best goals I have seen this year.

In conclusion, while 4 -- 1 is a brilliant result, I feel that if we hadn't had such a shite first half, we could impose ourselves a bit more Villareal.

In other news the Society for the Appreciation of Nicklas Bendtner's Crap Finishing but Great Build-up Play or SANBCFGBP is now taking members, I may even make a shirt.

Till next time, the bag.

It is a day of great joy, brethren.  vindication, as they say, is a dish best served immediately.  Firstly, we have Mr. Phil 'Are you [sniff] questioning my integrity' Brown, on the radio more than Waylon Jennings.  Secondly, those grand disciples at Arseblog unearthing video of Arsene and Mr. Integrity himself shaking hands after Mr. Integrity swore on his integrity that there was no hand contact.

Yes we are lead to believe that Mr. Integrity is the greatest man on earth, the beacon of goodness in this wretched world of Cesc and Arsene (those demons of Hades).   Imagine my joy, when I saw this on www.TheFA.com

"At a Regulatory Commission hearing today, Hull City manager Phil Brown was warned as to future conduct and fined £2,500.

Brown admitted a charge of improper conduct relating to a touchline confrontation involving himself and Joe Kinnear during an FA Cup match at St James' Park on 14 January."

Lets remind ourselves what happened on that fateful day:

Kinnear called Brown a wanker, Brown agreed that he was, indeed, a wanker, they both got sent to the stands.

Now Brown is one of those 'smart wankers' we're always hearing about.  Already he has tried to make people forget about his suspension and has just said "Ohhhh, I have so much integrity, its beginning to scare me, so because I have so much integrity, and because I'm just a bang up wanker, Joe shouldn't get a fine, just me, Mr. Integrity"  this is the smart wanker,who has a fine against him, but everyone forgets that and just talks about what a bang up wanker he is.

He has no Integrity, talkSPORT spent the entire day talking about "OHHH Phil 'Integrity' Brown has never lied, and wouldn't lie now, no problem that no one else was there, that Cesc has said he didn't do anything and he changed his story and that we have defended Kevin Nolan about 100 times, Mr. Integrity has never done ANYTHING wrong.  Did you notice that Cesc was a FOREIGNER!!!!  Who do we trust, Mr. Integrity or the FOREIGNER?" talkSPORT makes me angry

Brown, you flippin clown
you think that you're top shit, but I hate you, you git
You say words like Integrity, but Arsene shook your hand, shook it fairly
I had no real problem with you, until you said Cesc spat at your friends shoe
I enjoyed your team talk on the pitch, and next line will rhyme with bitch
So Mr Brown, I hope your team is going down
And you pay your fine, because you were out of line
Just like at the Arsenal game, Brown, that was a right shame
Integrity? more like, there was no spitegrity.

Thank You.

Wednesday, February 11
In which our hero realises that the fallout from Eboue’s send off continues

Checked that latest cartoon on studs-up.com, laughed, the one about Eboue and fish. Was taken back to that horrific incident, it was almost hypersensory. I had travelled back from a gruelling weekend in Sydney, I was knackered, falling asleep where I sat, yet his first yellow, I just called him an idiot, I mean, arguing your way into a yellow is a no mean feat. But the second, I remember my mate talking to me, I just said ‘fuck’, before adding ‘pardon my language’. It was so disgraceful that at half time, I logged on to the internet, and posted an angry, insomnia fuelled rant, at Mr E. Booue.
Wednesday is my favourite day of the week, because it is then where I have a 1.5 hour long open and humorous forum, punctuated by strenuous exercise, about the week’s football action. I had to endure numerous questions about Eboue, perhaps the most hurtful was from a Spurs fan. ‘It looks like Arsenal have their own Pascal Chimbonda’ he quipped. Ouch.

Thursday, 12 February
In which our hero watches ‘Mike Bassett, England Manager’ and Arsenal Football Club bury their heads in the ground.

I don’t think the AFC understand how angry Arsenal fans are at the moment. Sure there was the apology from Eboue, and the message from Wenger, but I for one am livid at Eboue. Spurs, one of the biggest games of the year, and he goes and gets sent off for two incidents that anyone of secure mental health would not have got involved in, can you imagine Cesc doing what Eboue did? Arsenal wants this to blow away, but it won’t. Some of us still harbour resentment to Eboue when he did his best to lose the game against Wigan.
Less about Eboue, I was on Soccerlens.com today, why are there so many stories on Soccerlens about football losing its soul and becoming a sandbox for rich folk? I decided that I am going to write a piece about how football is in great condition and how the money was there at the start of the Football League. Hell, Arsenal’s first chairman, Henry Norris, bribed us into the first division and was banned for life from football after under the table deals to give Herbert Chapman the best players. I like football nowadays, and as much as Soccerlens try to tell me otherwise I don’t think it is the root of all evil.
I can’t wait for Eduardo’s comeback; I think we have been missing his vision and movement in the final third, especially with Adebayor thinking of the warm beaches of Milan while playing in the cold winter of Islington. After being a vocal dissident during the Arshavin transfer I am now a convert. I hope he does well and could be just what we need in the final third. Against West Ham we were atrocious with no movement or players looking to make a spark. We are desperately missing Cesc and Theo.

Friday, 13 February
In which our hero is not remotely worried by events of the supernatural, but more by the appointment of Guus Hiddink to Chelsea.

Guus Hiddink is an Australian Hero (yet he still comes up as an unknown word in the Microsoft spell-check). He got Australia to the World Cup; he got us to the knockout round. But then a greasy Italian bastard ruined it. I was very angry when I found that it was Abramovich’s millions funding Hiddink’s move to Russia. I suppose I should point out that the time here is 0143 hours and I may be slightly inebriated after a night of Karaoke and chips with a side of a heart attack. I love Hiddink so to see him going to CSKA Chelsea is very disappointing, he has the best technical mind going around, It will be interesting, however, to see how he fares at Chelsea’s team of millionaires and egos. At the World Cup his man management was criticised after the tournament.
The Interlull has me pining for some proper football, Australian v Japan was a horrific failure and I wish never to look at such a display again. I would prefer to watch the A League because at least the blokes there can take a hit. We are lucky to support Arsenal, we are exciting and mildly physical at the same time, a rare combination. Our next big game is the FA Cup replay against last year’s finalists Cardiff. Hopefully Enckelman is not in such fine form as he was last game. The FA Cup is a great chance for silverware, there is no reason at the moment to think that Arsenal cannot win games. What people don’t realise is that it is still up for grabs, just like it was in May 1989.

Saturday, 14 February
In which our hero has no Valentine, plays Championship Manager

Ah cruel world, why hast thou giv’n me the affliction known as Championship-Manageritis. To make things worse my mate has left for a far off city for 6 years, and I watched all the Premier League games at his place. Looks like it’s back to unspecified broadcasting website for me. The FA cup replay nears, why they couldn’t have scheduled the game for today I do not know. I guess we have to trust that the F.A. has the best interests of the game at heart...[stifles laughter]...oh, sorry, I have been reading another one of those attack-dog style books, like the type you would read on Soccerlens. Still going to write that article about how excellent football today is. This weekend is going drudgingly slowly, in fact the only reason that I have hauled myself away from, wait, what am I doing at the moment? It’s that kind of day.

Sunday, 15 February
In which our hero prepares to play cricket, in footballing weather. He also makes a prediction

Yes my friends after a summer of heat that would melt tungsten we have a temperature of 14 degrees C to rise to a very uncrickety 20, I am somewhat disappointed as it was touching 40 last week, now all I hear are crows. Vermin of death. More importantly is the game on Tuesday (my time). Prediction for the starting team goes like this. Fabianski, Clichy Djourou Gallas Sagna, Merida Coquelin Denilson Jack Wilshire, Eduardo Vela. No explanations, just predictions. It looks like Ramsay will be fit, but I don’t think he’ll start. Enckelman is injured so Cardiff will be playing young Tom Heaton.
Cricket time happened. So many Chelsea fans, I may have called one or two of them glory hunting scum. Does that make me a bad person? No, it does not. They told me to pick a team in the top 5, once a gooner always a gooner, right? Glory hunters. It’s just the common life of a gooner.

Monday, 16 February
In which our hero did nothing to contribute to society, watched crappy tv shows

Nothing happened today (please note my time difference of +10), Except I forgot that I had a meeting, and the meeting convenor was a Tottenham fan, blimey. If only the Premier League was like the NBA where they play games every 3 days. The game is at 0600 hours, and unspecified broadcasting website will be broadcasting live to my house. I also became aware of the ‘the offside’ fiasco with Netresult. As they take away football clips on the net I say to them. Twenty clubs,

Netresult, I hate you, I guess I did contribute to society.

Tuesday, 17 February
In which our hero wakes up early, loves Eduardo, expects a letter from Netresult

Eduardo, what a hero, brace on his return, or, as Arsene would have us believe, his debut. We played like Arsenal of last season this morning, I loved it. I have just three worries. Firstly, Alex Song went missing in midfield. Secondly, Bendtner again was unconvincing, should have had a hat-trick. Thirdly, we still aren’t taking shots from outside, and the two that we did were crappy little toe pokes after control was lost. We cannot keep on trying to run the ball into the back of the net. But apart from that I felt very confident about our performance considering that Cardiff were last season’s runners up. The passing and build-up play was like when we were winning last year and it just stunned Cardiff into defending, our defence was compact and assured. I feel very happy about this morning. The team was somewhat like I had predicted, so I’m feeling quite happy with myself, the only problem is that there are murmurings about Usmanov.
While I won’t go as far as to say that I hate him, I’m not a fan, just like he isn’t a fan of Arsenal FC. I have always been happy that we are not run by a dictator, and I hope it stays that way.

Wednesday, 16 February
In which our hero finishes up his blog about 1 week from the eyes of an Arsenal fan, gets angry at Wenger.
I love Arsene Wenger, read previous posts, but today I am rather angry at him. Wenger has sent me three emails about Eduardo, I have read, none. I’ve heard it all before: ‘new signing...mental strength...fantastic goals...never lost hope...’ I would much rather read the transcript of happenings in the Australian Senate. The 90 minute football forum was less this week, fitness test, I don’t mean to brag, but it was easy. Everton loving friend seemed to think that Everton was going to beat Arsenal, don’t think so. Eduardo and Arshavin will be better than Henry and Bergkamp (I’m lying ). Well that is the perspective of 1 week as an Arsenal fan. Pain, laughter, anger. Well, as it says in the Pirates of Penzance ‘when Arsenal fan’s duty is to be done, to be done. An Arsenal fan’s lot, is sometimes a happy one.'