Bouncebackability

A word that can be used as a noun, verb, or an adjective and is a word that was made up only so the papers had an excuse for printing 'SHOCK, CRISIS AT n CLUB' the week before.  The word is thought never to be used by those such as Shakespeare, or anybody outside of the English Press.


My Lord, how I hate the press.  I understand about how the Premier League and its riches (which I am not against) have been bred through the extensive reporting on the subject (even though Murdoch has his hands in two pies) and that many clubs use the media for their own benefit.  The press in England are bad, they react so fast to anything, and to get more traction than the newspaper next to them they print increasingly fantastic headlines and write totally out of proportion to anything that has happened in the last month.  Lets look at the the latest from The Sun, unfortunately controlled by Rupert Fucking Murdoch (I do believed he changed his name to that, it was just easier for everyone).

    Chelsea plot 55m spree | The Sun | Sport | Football

    A Chelsea source said: "Abramovich has drawn up a list of options for the New Year.

    Atletico are asking silly money. If they don't get real Roman will switch to Suarez and try to do a    deal     with Ajax instead.

    "It's not just strikers, though. Jerko is the one they are looking at to come in as a defensive midfielder,     although De Rossi and Rodwell are also on the radar.

    "So it should be a busy time because the desire is there, the money is there, the options are there."


Ok, lets look at the problems with this shall we?  Firstly, 'A Chelsea source'? No matter if the source said 'we are not signing anybody' The Sun still would have run the story, Even if Ancelotti had said 'there is no way in hell that I will sign anybody and would prefer to have my chin fat removed with a calculator' The Sun would still run the story.  Their priority is not printing the truth but shifting product.  They care not what goes into the paper, just what goes into the till at the end of the day.
Secondly, this 'Chelsea source', they are on the payroll, so naturally they are going to want a good cut, so they fudge the numbers, skim off the top, they could be the fucking janitor...they could be the tour guide...think of all the people that work at Stamford Bridge, any one of them could be the Chelsea source.  And at the end of the day, the sources gussy up what they say to make sure they get their cash.
Thirdly, which do you want to read more? The Daily Mail with 'Mancini Sheiks on it: Man City boss met owner weeks before Hughes was axed' or the Independent 'Cook: plan to replace Hughes began in summer'.  
You have little sub-editors, whose job it is to write the headlines (so that managers cannot attack journos, see Kinnear J, having a go at a journo who just kept repeating 'I didn't write the headline, did you read the copy?' Kinnear was too smart for him, called him a cunt, and then got fired by the enormous Geordie with regrets'

The press jump on a game, say that its all gone to shit because Arsenal lost to Chelsea, and then, when we beat Liverpool its back to 'Title Hopes Alive'.  Then when we draw with Burnley its 'Title Hopes in Shatters' or 'Arsenal's Crisis' or 'Arsenal must spend'.  This blog is causing a lot of rage in me because as a rational person I find it offensive to me that the idiots in executive positions think they can shift product by telling me that I'm stupid, and that one draw does constitute a crisis, or is equivalent to losing the title.

Then, the next week, the team wins, and the same people try to convince me that I was wrong, Arsenal are title chances, and I was a fool to discount this.  Now in case I remember that last week they were trumpeting that Arsenal had not a hope in hell, they invented this word.  Bouncebackability.  This means that they were correct the week before, but the team has Bouncebackability.  It makes me sick.

IN OTHER NEWS
ChampionshipManageritis is still strong, I love the game so much, here's a hint, Buy Victor Agali, worth every penny.  Why is everybody saying that Man City lack class because they got Toure to tell the team that Hughes was sacked, its a flipping sacking, not a black tie event, its not supposed to be classy, what do they want? Hughes to leave to the trumpet voluntary?  Liverpool will finish in the top four but and Benitez will finish as manager, one of my Liverpool mates says that he signed a massive contract so that Liverpool couldn't payout if his team started sucking.  I doubt that however, do you remember the Valencia teams that the bearded one put together? Magnificent.  Lastly Merry Christmas, with the following exceptions: Rupert Murdoch.  Phil Brown.  And Cristiano Ronaldo

Remember, to any attacks I may receive, I have a right of reply

I've had a marvelous day, thanks for asking.  Why has my day been so good?  well primary school was quite enjoyable for yours truly, I ruled the playground with my skills.  and I feel like I'm back in primary school.  Why, you ask? Henry.  Forgive me for getting straight to the point, no foreplay, but reading all the journos is like being back at primary school, all the kids running to the teacher, throwing temper tantrums: 'but Miss Jacobs, he Chhheaated, I don't want to play anymore, this game is stupid' 'Miss Jacobs, Henry cheated, do something Miss Jacobs, he cchhhhheeeeeated, you have to stop him.'

Am I right though? As in my last post, the fact that he committed a foul is nothing, the press don't care, but his crime was that he committed a foul against a certain team, the underdogs, the no-hopers, the Rocky's.  At the end of they day, it was a foul.

People say Henry cheated, that what he did was calculated, deliberate, and (although this confuses me) planned before kickoff and done solely to pierce Irish hearts.  Really? no, football at international level is one of the fastest games on earth, it was a mindsnap, a silly mistake, I ref, I see this happen a lot, a player will make a handball, and say 'oh, sorry ref, didn't mean to' (again, I don't ref kickaround crap).  The fact that the ref didn't see it is why people are kicking up a fuss.  I have heard one commentator say that it was worse than longterm match fixing, and cited an (utterly inappropriate) example, I have heard others say that Henry must be banned, why, for a foul?

I saw something on The Spoiler.  Note please, the photo, Duff is cheating.  What is fundamentally different about Duff cheating and Henry cheating? Nothing, Henry committed a foul, Duff committed a foul.  Yes or No.  The difference is something happened because of Henry's foul, but they were both cheating yes?  I know some dickwad will read this and launch into vitriolic rage about how I'm a misguided child, I don't understand football, they sleep with member of my immediate family and that I'm not Irish so I don't know how it feels...

But I do, I do, Australia v Uruguay, 2001, the Uruguayans used every trick in the book to throw us off, changing dates, changing locations, changing flights, how much did you all hear about that? Did The Sun say 'The Disgrace of the South American's' no way, they didn't care, cheating again, did I get over it? Yes I did.

But the fact is, a foul is a foul, and while some fouls are worse than others, they are all breaking the laws of the game ... cheating, if you will.  When a player fouls something, basically what the ref is saying is 'OK, you've done something wrong, you've broken the laws, lets give the ball to the other team as punishment.'  But Duff and Henry both broke the laws of the game did they not?  Why is there such a fuss about Henry?

People don't recognise that any player who commits a foul, seen by the ref or not, is cheating, but Henry got away with it, so he is cheating, he has disgraced football, he is a murderer. (I've read that as well).  It's football, I don't subscribe to Shankly's view of football being more important than life and death.  Why are people kicking up such a fuss about it?  Because the press all have agendas.  I'm glad I didn't listen to TalkSport in the aftermath of the foul, but still all I see is anglophilians, peddling their filth.  All kicking up a fuss about a foul that wasn't called.  

In 1974 Ray Baartz, the goalscoring king who got Australia to our first ever World Cup, was hit with a karate chop to the throat from an opponent, it ultimately ended his career.  But he got up after a bit of treatment and scored one, and set up another.  Then another player punched him in the face, a teammate of the offender, then punched the offender in the face, so it looked like the Uruguayan player was punched by Baartz, then the Uruguayans protested so much after the offender was duly punted, the referee couldn't restart play for some time.  Ray Baartz collapsed after the game, he never played again.  Did we fuss, did we say 'no fair'?  No, we got on with the job.  Remember, this was the boy who at 19 came back to Australia, from Manchester United, even though Sir Matt Busby begged him to stay.  Do you want to know what the papers said when Baartz's career was ended?

"BAARTZ was on the receiving end of some tough treatment in Saturday's match at the Sydney Cricket Ground. He had trouble with his vision at half-time, but was determined to see the match out. Fifteen minutes into the second half, Baartz scored a magnificent goal from 25 metres, which set the Australians on their winning way."
This is what was said, about the man who never played football again.

Please people, show some sense, I beg of you, don't stoop to the same level as the filthy hacks that roam this barren place we call the world.  It's just football, Henry committed a foul, just like Duff did in that picture.  My last post is on exactly the same thing, I may send it in to those idiots on Sky's Sunday Supplement.  A spot of Perspective for you then.

Best, Goon

Please launch your vitriolic rage against me, just remember, I have a right of reply.

Now lets get one thing straight.  I'm not a fan of sleazy agents.  And so in true cliched style, a rewriting of the poem If

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust your agent when all men doubt you But rest assured of your massive paycheck too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, and deal with spurs,
Or being hated by communists, don't give way to left wings, And your agent don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream of Real--and not make dreams your master,  If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Levy and Ramos And treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth your agent spoken  Twisted by knaves to make a trap for you
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop, leave them to the highest bidder:

If you can make one heap of all your money,And risk it all on one turn of agent toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings, And pray they don't breath a word about your disloyalty;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after your agent is gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the agent which says to them: "only 40 000?"

If your agent can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with the boardsmen--nor lose the sleazy touch,
If neither communists nor hangers-on can hurt you;
If all men count your money, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving month With sixty days worth of media rumours,
Yours is the money and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be  Dennis Lachtered, my son!

apologies to Rudyard Kipling, I really do like this poem.  And to the Arsenal board: we pay the players wage, can you tell us if we have signed him?

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that Chelsea fans are nothing more than rich Londoners who need something to do on the weekends, so they support Chelsea.  Chelsea is a club run by a rich Londoner who needed something to do on the weekends, so he bought Chelsea.  Peas in a pod.  But at some point they were going to be engaged on football talk, oh no.  So they just said something that no one can disagree with at the moment: 'Sack the Coach!'  And then the went home for slippers, sherry and pipe.

I don't understand England, in the A League we do not consider 1 match of bad play as the manager's fault!

has the world gone mad, Fucking Rupert Murdoch, if he gets a state funeral like Kerry Packer I will be sending Kevin Rudd (who incidentally for our Australian readers, is the comic character on the front of the Milky Bar confectionery packets) A very angry letter.

He is up there with Ashely 'I have a girls name' Cole in terms on wankery.

I am so angry.

in other news it appears as though Eduardo's leg has reattached itself, good news, we can stop playing Nicolas 'look at my pink boots' Bendtner and put eduardo back in the frame.