Another analogy that fans can grimly cling to in the hope of sanity.

  So the net goes down last night, stupid Transact.  They build the best fibre-optic network in the southern hemisphere, and then don't let any decent ISP's use it.  Ivan Slavich may be the face of the Canberra A-League bid, but tell him to let Internode use his network for me to get behind it.  I digress however, the net goes down, and so I was punted from MSN where I was talking to my female friend (incidentally, not much of a football fan, and hates my endless CM playing and droning on about Arsenal, she did however, buy me a beautiful framed photo of Highbury for Christmas, she is great).  I text her that 'my net went down, but I'm gonna stay up and watch the arsenal game' came the reply 'when is it?' 'Ive no idea'.  So after a bit she sends me the details of the match and I find a computer with internet from which to steal the game from Murdoch.  As she went to bed I joked 'thanks for getting me that info about the game, you must love arsenal as much as i do'.  She wrote back; 'no, i like u as much as u like them' It took me a few seconds to work that out.  I then texted her back 'so you'd fly to England, just to see me?' she said that she would, and goodnight.

All this got me thinking, is my relationship with Arsenal like going out with a pretty woman.  We travel to see them play, we forgive their small failings a mistakes (like Sylvester) and it takes some pretty massive screw-ups to make us turn on a player (Eboue) but, if they come back and work hard, we will forgive them (like Eboue).

If I can, I would like to make an assumption.  That all my readers (readers, or people who've nothing better to do) have read Nick Hornby's book, Fever Pitch, if you haven't, I, Gregoir, command you to travel with haste to your nearest bookstore and buy it.  Fever Pitch describes what a fan is and what occupies his or her mind and how a fans' obsession starts and continues.  I would like to quote from his book twice

    '"What are you thinking about?" she asks.  At this point I lie ... but then, obsessives have no choice, they have to lie on occasions like this.  If we told the truth every time, then we would be unable to maintain relationships with anyone from the real world.  We would be left to rot with our Arsenal programmes ... and our two-minute daydreams would become longer and longer and longer until we lost our jobs and stopped bathing and shaving and eating.'

I have told my lady friend that (oddly again, quoting Nick Hornby, but from a completely different work) that she 'saves me from myself'.  Not in any sickly, nauseating faux-romantic way, but when I am talking to her I have to veer away from the subject of Arsenal, she already fears that when she sees me I will be wearing one of my 8 or so Arsenal shirts and ranting about the latest triumph or dismal failure.  When I talk to her I cannot think about Arsenal, which is a good thing, seeing as 'my mood is directly correlated to Arsenal's success on the field' (quote to my father after he saw me dancing like an idiot after a win against Villa).

Hornby then explains that in Fever Pitch he will explore the meaning of football in life and culture and in his own personal experiences

    'I have friends who will regard this as pretentious, self-serving nonsense, the kind of desperate justification one might expect from a man who has spent a huge chunk of his leisure time fretting miserably in the cold. They are particularly resistant to the idea because I tend to overestimate the metaphorical value of football, and therefore I now accept that football has no relevance to the Falklands conflict, the Rushdie affair, the Gulf War, childbirth, the ozone layer, the poll tax, etc., etc., and I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone who has had to listen to my pathetically strained analogies.)

When I read that, I smiled, because it is so true, I have used World Affairs to somehow justify my pathetic obsession with Arsenal Football Club.

Why do we justify things?  In my mind it’s because we want to say 'look, football is like these things that you know, we are not that stupid, the light of intelligence has not really left our eyes.'

Lastly, we know that we spend too much time in the cold, or for me in a +11 time zone, too much time trying to stay awake, even if we know that we will probably draw, or lose, and the players will turn out the same next week, it just makes it so much better when we win.  Now I'm afraid I have to go, aforementioned female friend is coming round, and I'm still in my pyjamas, on a high after a brilliant display from Cesc last night.

Come on you Reds.

Bouncebackability

A word that can be used as a noun, verb, or an adjective and is a word that was made up only so the papers had an excuse for printing 'SHOCK, CRISIS AT n CLUB' the week before.  The word is thought never to be used by those such as Shakespeare, or anybody outside of the English Press.


My Lord, how I hate the press.  I understand about how the Premier League and its riches (which I am not against) have been bred through the extensive reporting on the subject (even though Murdoch has his hands in two pies) and that many clubs use the media for their own benefit.  The press in England are bad, they react so fast to anything, and to get more traction than the newspaper next to them they print increasingly fantastic headlines and write totally out of proportion to anything that has happened in the last month.  Lets look at the the latest from The Sun, unfortunately controlled by Rupert Fucking Murdoch (I do believed he changed his name to that, it was just easier for everyone).

    Chelsea plot 55m spree | The Sun | Sport | Football

    A Chelsea source said: "Abramovich has drawn up a list of options for the New Year.

    Atletico are asking silly money. If they don't get real Roman will switch to Suarez and try to do a    deal     with Ajax instead.

    "It's not just strikers, though. Jerko is the one they are looking at to come in as a defensive midfielder,     although De Rossi and Rodwell are also on the radar.

    "So it should be a busy time because the desire is there, the money is there, the options are there."


Ok, lets look at the problems with this shall we?  Firstly, 'A Chelsea source'? No matter if the source said 'we are not signing anybody' The Sun still would have run the story, Even if Ancelotti had said 'there is no way in hell that I will sign anybody and would prefer to have my chin fat removed with a calculator' The Sun would still run the story.  Their priority is not printing the truth but shifting product.  They care not what goes into the paper, just what goes into the till at the end of the day.
Secondly, this 'Chelsea source', they are on the payroll, so naturally they are going to want a good cut, so they fudge the numbers, skim off the top, they could be the fucking janitor...they could be the tour guide...think of all the people that work at Stamford Bridge, any one of them could be the Chelsea source.  And at the end of the day, the sources gussy up what they say to make sure they get their cash.
Thirdly, which do you want to read more? The Daily Mail with 'Mancini Sheiks on it: Man City boss met owner weeks before Hughes was axed' or the Independent 'Cook: plan to replace Hughes began in summer'.  
You have little sub-editors, whose job it is to write the headlines (so that managers cannot attack journos, see Kinnear J, having a go at a journo who just kept repeating 'I didn't write the headline, did you read the copy?' Kinnear was too smart for him, called him a cunt, and then got fired by the enormous Geordie with regrets'

The press jump on a game, say that its all gone to shit because Arsenal lost to Chelsea, and then, when we beat Liverpool its back to 'Title Hopes Alive'.  Then when we draw with Burnley its 'Title Hopes in Shatters' or 'Arsenal's Crisis' or 'Arsenal must spend'.  This blog is causing a lot of rage in me because as a rational person I find it offensive to me that the idiots in executive positions think they can shift product by telling me that I'm stupid, and that one draw does constitute a crisis, or is equivalent to losing the title.

Then, the next week, the team wins, and the same people try to convince me that I was wrong, Arsenal are title chances, and I was a fool to discount this.  Now in case I remember that last week they were trumpeting that Arsenal had not a hope in hell, they invented this word.  Bouncebackability.  This means that they were correct the week before, but the team has Bouncebackability.  It makes me sick.

IN OTHER NEWS
ChampionshipManageritis is still strong, I love the game so much, here's a hint, Buy Victor Agali, worth every penny.  Why is everybody saying that Man City lack class because they got Toure to tell the team that Hughes was sacked, its a flipping sacking, not a black tie event, its not supposed to be classy, what do they want? Hughes to leave to the trumpet voluntary?  Liverpool will finish in the top four but and Benitez will finish as manager, one of my Liverpool mates says that he signed a massive contract so that Liverpool couldn't payout if his team started sucking.  I doubt that however, do you remember the Valencia teams that the bearded one put together? Magnificent.  Lastly Merry Christmas, with the following exceptions: Rupert Murdoch.  Phil Brown.  And Cristiano Ronaldo

Remember, to any attacks I may receive, I have a right of reply

Aye, all over Canberra they have spent many hundreds of thousands of dollars erecting fences on the sides of bridges, why? To stop young folk throwing rocks off the sides of those bridges.  Bastard young folk, why would you even consider doing such a thing, I hope all ill happens to them, and them alone.  Why do I write this?  well I am a young lad, 20 to be accurate, and I have never even considered throwing rocks off bridges, I spend too much time blogging, maybe they should too, but I am writing about the mistakes that young people make.  Specifically the young folk of Arsenal FC.

Now let me be real here for one minute.  I didn't expect us to win this morning against Man City.  I didn't, We had mere lads up against some of the most overpaid and overpaid-for players in the world.  Sanchez Watt or Carlos Tev'z?  Lets have some common sense here.  However I wasn't impressed with the performance of the young 'uns this morning.

It just seemed as though they were a bit silly, take Armand Traore's yellow card, fully deserved.  Armand is a quick player, really really quick, but while taking on SWP he sliced him down after a dodgy touch from SWP! no need, no need at all.

I would never question Arsene ... except for now, why did he play 4-3-3 with kids, who, from past Carling Cup games, have always used the midfield to dominate the play, we were getting stuck in defense and were not able to pass the ball out effectively, and when we did get into our own half we didn't have enough players in the midfield to move the ball around effectively.

The last point is possibly the biggest.  The control and first touch of all players was shocking, from the defense to the forwards, every players first touch looked like a long ball.  There was no control and this allowed the millionaires to pounce on our loose touches and attack.

To add one more point, a bit rough, the millionaires are.  And we had 6 yellows, go figure.

IN OTHER NEWS

I hate Adebayor, Seeing him play this morning was horrible, I hate him.  I don't understand, apparently when he celebrated his goal in front of the arsenal fans at Middle-Eastlands earlier in the season he was angry about a chant about his fathers menial labour profession and mothers occupation of convenient affection.  Really? Because he hasn't had 30 000 scousers singing that to him at Anfield? but it was 3000 odd away fans that did it for him?

Well, I'm off to throw some rocks of the remaining bridges before Stanhope gets there to put up some fences, hey, you have to enjoy your youth while you still have it.  Ahh youth, its wasted on the young.  I'm going to watch Cold Chisel, Bitches.

Well how bout that, I just looked up what the word 'Vent' means, and now I'm ready to vent some anger.  But you see, the word 'vent' means a 'A means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet' yes, that is why I made this blog in the first place, as such, all my anger goes here, instead of my stomach, where the anger causes an increase in the production of Hydrochloric Acid which eventually burns a hole in your stomach, known as a stomach ulcer.  So as I put my anger here my sympathetic nervous system gets a break and I get to have my articles published.

My topic for today is diving.  I know, everyone else is talking about it.  But I am the sole provider of truth in this world of Murdoch and Fairfax.  Here are the facts.
1)  Diving was not introduced by foreign players
2)  There is more diving in the Italian, Spanish and other leagues than the English Premier League
3)  Eduardo was charged because UEFA is a weak gutless organisation that bows to media pressure without thinking about the consequences
4)  Ngog's dive got more media coverage because it was a top 4 side
5)  The Media run football

1)  Diving was not introduced by foreign players
I was listening to Talksport when Ngog went down under a challenge that wasn't in the same postcode as he was,  the infallable Stan Collymore said that foreign players introduced diving to the english game and the game needed to be cleansed of this filth. (Stan Collymore, BNP membership number 000002). 

The fact is that it was not, let me repeat, not introduced by foreign players.  Can I remind you of the words of Brian Clough when giving Peter Lorimer an award.  'Apart from the fact that Peter Lorimer argues with the referee at every avaiable opportunity, and goes down when nobody touches him.'  You see, I'm right again.  This was not an institution of the foreign player, but a scourge on the game that has been around for longer that Mr Collymore thinks.  Darren Bent dived on the weekend as well, Talksport got asked why they weren't going at Bent the same as Ngog "Well we mentioned he dived"

2)  There is more diving in the Italian, Spanish and other leagues than the English Premier League
Mr Collymore would be proud of me, I am willing to admit that there is more playacting in other leagues around the world.  I remember a game a couple of years back which was Australia (with Graham Arnold coaching >_<) playing a really crappy Asian team.  They went up 1-0, Arnold kept leaning on the technical area, and the Asian players dropped everytime Australia got into the final 30 yards of the pitch, unitl I said 'don't kick it out, just keep going, you know they're faking'.  However, the morally upstanding Mr Collymore also said that diving was taught.  I don't think that this is correct, I think that it may be a culture thing. 

I was watching the Australian U15's play the Thai U15's (I think, but I'm not that interested in perfection to waste time) and the Thai players dived like I've never seen.  I think we need to just admit that diving is cultural and that Stan Collymore is just shooting his Anglophile mouth off becuase that gets him ratings.  But it doesn't do much for his reputation does it?

3)  Eduardo was charged because UEFA is a weak gutless organization that bows to media pressure without thinking about the consequences
AC Milan versus Celtic in the UEFA Champion's League.  A Milan player uses his pace to get in front of a Celtic player to get onto a through ball, his first touch is a bit heavy, but he keeps chasing, and then throws his arms into the air and falls down, pleading for a penalty, the referee, is not conned by his attempt to win a penalty, Alberto Gilardino has a look on his face that says 'but, ref, he fouled me, you can't give me a yellow, has the world gone wrong?'
Ac Milan versus Celtic, a Celtic shot comes in, Dida parrys it, but Scott McDonald is first to react and jumps forward and scores.  A Celtic fan stupidly runs onto the field and runs his hand upon Dida's pectoral muscle, Dida turns and runs after him, but the pain sets in, and he can't hold himself, his legs buckle and he curls into a foetal position.

Eduardo speeds into the Celtic box, dives and Arsenal win a penalty, Arsenal convert the penalty, before the penalty Celtic needed 3 goals to go through, after the penalty was scored they needed 3 goals to go through, but it is now an impossible task.  Eduardo gets crucified in the press.  He was charged for intent to decieve a match official, but why hadn't UEFA charged either of the AC Milan players?  Why?  Because they saw it as a chance to vilify English teams and they wanted to stamp out diving.  Well Michel, a bit late, you just lowered the reputation of UEFA (if it was possible to let it drop further) and the subsequent overturning of Eduardo's ban was a masterstoke, if you had kept it, your organisation would right now be begging to apologise to Arsenal and rescind rules in response to the media pressure to prosecute every dive in the competitions.

4)  Ngog's dive got more media coverage because it was a top 4 side
Liverpool, as one of the big 4 (I'll not insult you, reader, buy putting it in inverted commas) are expected to win games against Birmingham (a mate put a bet on Liverpool to win, describing it as the 'safest bet he could find') and win comfortably.  Birmingham went up 2-1 and were under pressure.  Ngog ran into the box, Lee Carsley put in a clumsey challenge (I've not yet seen that in a report about the match) and because Ngog knew he had no chance of getting any further, dived.  This you all know, but everyone in the press has an agenda, what is my agenda? Exposing the press as the sensationalistic bunch of idiots who have the memory of goldfish (on an not entirely unrelated note, do you know what the collective noun for a group of journalists is?  a fabrication, a fabrication of journalists). 

The Hacks are trying to turn people against certain clubs, and this was a big game.  Liverpool are on the slide and while I think it is just a bad bit of form you have to look at the press reaction and wonder if maybe there is a bit of bias in some reports, some reports attack Ngog like he just jumped out of a time machine helping Bin Laden run a plane into the Pentagon, while others refuse to say the word 'dive' in their reports.  You have to wonder if there is a problem with the press.

5)  The Media run football.
for this, I would like to copy and paste bits and peices from a report on the BBC about Eduardo's 2 match ban.

It's a witch-hunt that we see and not an objective judgement of a case.
"We will defend our player as far as we can because he is not being treated fairly," said Wenger.
"It's funny in football because you can break the legs of players and it doesn't make a debate for anybody.
"I'm the first to say that it doesn't look like a penalty but it's another thing to say that he went down with intent. I wish good luck in proving that having seen the pictures again."
In charging Eduardo, Wenger claimed Uefa had set off down a dangerous path whereby any decision made by an official can be contested after the match.
"There is completely lack of logic in this case. Why? Because people have reacted emotionally."

"This case has been ruled by the media and emotionally by Scotland, by the Scottish FA and by Scottish people working at Uefa.
"I've fought my whole life against cheating and I've seen some obvious cases where Uefa didn't intervene. On and off the pitch things have happened where no action was taken.
"But now the existing rules of football have been changed just for one case so we will from now on challenge every single decision that is made in Europe by the referees."

Scottish FA chief executive Gordon Smith has called for the Brazil-born Eduardo to be banned.


Thanks Gordon Smith, you ran a smear campaign made to distract people from the sorry point that Scottish teams cannot qualify for decent competitions any more, you proved my point for me, Mr Wenger, I couldn't have said it better.

If I can say one more thing.  Eduardo dived once, what would happen to Drogba, Gerrard, Ronaldo, etc if they got done like Eddy everytime they dived, is this right?

In Other News
I have been asked to say this by a Liverpool supporter:  Rafa must be sacked becuase he has done nothing for Liverpool apart from 1 trophy.  Arsenal are favorites.  There you are, his words, not mine.

One Arsene Wenger, I was right all along, Listen to What I say.
Alright, everyone here is your chance to hurl abuse at me, comment as much as you like

Now I know that I'm the type who will lead the reader on, drawing them so far into my blog post so as they have to read more.  Usually I do this with my blog titles.  I mean, my favourite post I've written is 'Shock! Leeds finish runner up in Champion's League for fourth straight year'.  You want to read that, don't you ... no?  OK, but make sure you read this post, which is as blunt and to-the-point as ... well, its so blunt and to-the-point that similes would make it less blunt and to-the-point, so I'll just move on shall I?

Yes we played AZ last night, and we were outplayed until our first goal, Koeman had an organized midfield that would drop very deep when we had the ball, thus making it nigh on impossible for us to pass our way through, and their last line of defense was very disciplined and we found it hard to break down on the counter.  To the credit of Arsenal the lads took the shot as soon as one presented itself, which is something I like to see.  Rockin' Robin was impressive for mine, he should have scored from a header but he took some good shots and that free kick was impressive.  But this brings me onto my first gripe.  When we get free kicks we are impotent.  Cesc allegedly said over the summer that arsenal need some football Viagra, I'm not sure where this is purchased or how it works, or if Cristiano Ronaldo bought the entire stock when he moved to Spain when he thought it was a special Viagra for footballers, but Arsenal need it for free kicks.  RVP just doesn't seem to be clinical from them, we have scored some this year because Vermaelen gets in there, but I would like to see a lot more free kicks from RVP in the 'threatening' category, and less in the 'tame and headed out' category.

When RVP went off and Vela (who was hacked down in the box, pen for mine) came on I knew that Cesc or Arshavin would be taking the free kicks, so I thought 'hmm, good to see this, I've wondered if Cesc is the natural FK taker in the team.'  But I was wrong, Cesc puts them in too high, and too floaty, the easiest ball to take for a goalie because it gives him time to get into position and take the ball at the right time.  Cesc needs to deliver the ball in with more speed otherwise it's easy pickings for the goalie, RVP needs to deliver the ball in to somebody.  Who is Arsenal's best free kick taker ... I don't know, I just don't know.

On to the defense, and an admission, my friends.  I'm a goalie, and everybody knows that in every goalie, is a frustrated striker, which is why I can coach strikers, because I spent my entire watching the attackers, but I'm not great at coaching, or analysing defenders.  Essentially, I can tell you if a striker had a good game, not so much defenders.  But there was not much that needed in depth analysing in the last few minutes of the AZ game, twice our entire defensive line was caught flat footed.  The first time our defense showed signs of worry the AZ player darted in to shoot wide, and the next was in the 92nd when AZ equalised, I would have liked a win today, but because Song didn't move with his man it left our defense weak and then everything snowballed to the goal.  

However, you all know this, what do we do about it?  Well, a return to the old Arsenal offside trap would be nice, the old walk and down dance, I like doing the Arsenal offside trap dance at the pub, unfortunately some people mistake it for line dancing and ask me if I'm a fucking poof.  I should mention that that was all lies so we shall continue.  But the defensive line need to prioritise and visualise runs that are going to be made, and have a bit more communication needed, and above all, look at the players hips.  To mark a player look at their hips, don't stare at the ball, watch it when it is kicked, work out if it is going to be a threat and then follow your man in.

Well that's it from me, no training this week due to the dreaded lurgy, all right.

IN OTHER NEWS
beachball, that is all.  Ha, you fools thought I was going to talk about it.  No, I've absolutely no interest in it.  I must admit that Arsenal's defending isn't as bad as Rafa's zonal marking system, I think the conversation went down in the dressing room after the Sunderland game

Rafa: What the Hell was that, were you having a laugh, it's not bloody rocket science!

Carragher: Can we skive off and do some rocket science gaffer? its just easier.

What a funny man I am.

Best. Goon

Oh yeah, how bout that one, we can even go the next line, 'and the CESCficial signs' (apologies to Simon and Garfunkel).  Very sorry all, that was a bit Murdoch-esque of me.  In any case I loved the game against Blackburn, strangely whenever Arsenal go down, I worry, but I wasnt worried when N'zonzi scored, I just knew that we could get back.  Zoom, Arsenal are no longer their own worst enemy.  However there are a few problems I would like to discuss, the first is Diaby.

Diaby

Ah Vassiriki Abou Diaby.  I like the boy, he is tall, french and has the long legs, he reminds me of another Arsenal legend, Anelka. I kid of course, but I have one or two problems with Diaby that make me nervous whenever he plays.  Don't get me wrong, on his day he is really really good, it seems that he either scores two goals, or none at all.  He will track back and get forward quickly, he will tackle hard and get involved in play.  But, when he gets the ball he has slow thinking and terrible passing.

Last night I watched the Arsenal play (whoop my brother the webmaster has let me stream games again) and Cesc was magical, I'm talking making grown men cry.  When Cesc had the ball he knew where he wanted it to go and he put it there very quickly.  But when Diaby has the ball he seems to get the ball, then scan the field before deciding where to pass it, and sometimes, by the time he gets around to passing the ball the player has moved.  When we have three through the midfield we cannot take chances of giving the ball away cheaply, which we didn't for the most part, but a couple of times I thought that Diaby was just a few seconds behind, maybe not the sharpest knife in the drawer if you know what I mean.

Diaby needs to lift, not his workrate, he is like Ray Parlour in that respect, but his concentration rate.  Last year when I coached my youth team I told them that as a referee I should not be expected to ref more than one game a day, because while we dont run as much as players, we have to concentrate every second, I don't know when someone is going to lose their rag and punch someone, but I need to be ready.  The players in my charge would not think ahead, they ran and ran all day but didn't achieve much.

Diaby just needs to concentrate a bit more, move the ball faster and just put in the extra 10% that will turn him into a regular fixture in the Arsenal first team.  At the present time, I think when Nasri comes back he will have the left mid spot.

Cesc

I would like to speak of Captain Cesc.  I was on the MSN with everton friend, we were watching the game, unfortunately he was watching on his Foxtel and I was doing the honourable thing and streaming it live.  I'm not putting my cash into Murdoch's wallet.  The result of this is that my stream was about a minute behind, so I knew what would happen before it happened.  Just before Cesc's amazing left footed volley I messaged him saying that Cesc is the best CM in the league, this was in response to his unbelievable cross to RVP.  Cesc impressed me last night, more than any other game I have seen him play, he set up every goal that he was on the field for.

He played the ball back to Vermaelen who lauched a rocket past Robinson, he saw the gap to play in RVP, he did exactly the same thing for Arshavin, he passed the ball so smoothly to get into a position for his goal, and then selflessly passed across the penalty area when he could have taken the shot to play in Theo who made no mistake.

And then there was his goal.  I could watch it all day.  He muscled out a Blackburn defender and attempted a tricky pass back to the running Arshavin, but Blackburn had the bus parked so his pass couldn't get back to Arshavin, but he managed to turn his body fast enough to keep his feet and move away from the two Blackburn players on him before they could even move, he shaped to shoot before passing to Rosicky, the pass was blocked, but Rosicky knew that Cesc would keep going, so Rosicky flicked the ball over his head, Cesc leaned back to cushion the ball into where he wanted it, he let the ball bounce while Blackburn just stood there watching the symphony unfold, he then got his left boot and placed the ball into the right hand corner of the goal with Robinson dumbstruck.  Two men, left seven  players chasing their tails, not knowing where to go next.  After the goal, Cesc runs toward the Arsenal fans, and the seven Blackburn players, who could not supress two Arsenal players, turned toward each other, none of them could explain what they just saw, none of them could say 'I am blameless' because each of them should have taken the ball from Cesc and Tomas, but none of them could compare to the beauty and liberation of Arsenal's football.

After I watched Cesc play that game, I say 'thank you Cesc' for the joy that you bring us, and while we pay your wages, you give us something that money cannot buy.

In Other News
good to have Theo back, good to see him scoring goals as well.  Why does nobody want to join Macclesfield Town, I've got them to the Championship for petes sake.  Why are all our keepers a bit mad?  Fabianski and Don Vito seem to charge at the ball at every available opportunity, we almost had to play 'ctrl+v' (thats the only way I can spell Sceznzyzy).  I hate Harry Redknapp, always putting in his 2 cents, hopefully he won't be doing that for some time, as he had to give those 2 cents to the government.  The FFA are a bunch of idiots, they want us to play the 1-4-3-3, who lists the goalie???

best, goon

I could make up some lies, oh yes.  I'm good at that kind of thing, like Kranjcar going to Spurs or whatnot.  But I shall not.  But then I think, the only reason that people are not drinking themselves into a steady stupor is due to the fact that they want to be mildly conscious when Arsene has a massive (yet not fatal) brain injury that leads him to believe that Arsenal should sign Messi, and the corpse of the late, great, Johnny Warren.  As such, they trawl the internet looking for the news of the latest bid, therefore, it would be irresponsible for me, the Time's Person of the Year winner from 2006, to not lead you astray with my complicated web of lies.  However, in a mind-bending and boring paradox, I have no real interest in deadline day.  Mainly because Arsenal never sign anyone, save Arshavin, but that was exceptional.  So I will report my usual story, but inside that story I will post some lies that you can tell your mate, or the Sun can report as a 'source deep inside x'.

I digress however.

What I actually want to write about is a subject I've had on my mind for some time, indeed the title of this blog should not be the title that you read above, but 'If we can see it, so can Arsene'.  As I can mentally see you all closing this page in Mozilla (anyone who uses IE is not allowed to read this blog), time for a lie, methinks.  however, I will do this in a more scientific way than most of the tabloids.  I have in my hand Rothman's for 09-10, I will open it to a random page, pick a player, then open it to another random page, and say that the player will transfer to the club on the second random page.

20 year old Sunderland player Jamie Chandler will move to Barnsley for 850 000 quid.

Too often I watch Arsenal games in frustration.  This is unfortunate, yet true, especially after last year.  And I will often think that a player is not good enough for Arsenal, say Denilson or Diaby.  I like both of these players, but at the moment I don't think that they are up to the Arsenal calibre.

29 year old Brentford midfielder Adam Newton will move to Dundee United for 150 000 quid

Denilson seems a bit anonymous and Diaby is a player that is only good at a certain time.  however, as I pondered what I was to do for my next blog entry and wondered how many people will take notice or care (0) I thought.  If we can see this, so can Arsene.  If we can see what we think are problems in the Arsenal side, he can see them clearer, if we think a player is not good enough for Arsenal, he sees it more accurately.  In short, Arsene Wenger is the only manager that Arsenal should have, and if things go balls up like they did last year, then I am behind the manager, and will not waver in that.  Arsene Wenger is a hero of mine and I hope that Arsenal fans remember this when we next have a disappointing game.

In other news

I stayed up to watch the first half of the Arsenal Man U game.  As I went to bed I thought, 'tomorrow, I should do a blog about Diaby, and why I don't think he is good enough for Arsenal.'  I wake up, Diaby, OG 63rd minute.  Bow down and worship my footballing knowledge which is matched only by my ego.

Joey Barton (this should be good) to League 1 side Colchester United for 3.5 million, which Newcastle will pay in installments over the next two years.  

Best, Goon 

Good day fellow Gooners, I am quivering with excitement, the demo of CM2010 is due for release in less than 24 hours.  But also because I got my first ever issue of Rothman's Football Yearbook, I have lost my Rothman's virginity.  Lastly, I am quivering because Everton have one available centre half.

The fear that Joseph Yobo thrusts into my heart is roughly equivalent to say, my fear of getting run down by an old Catholic priest in a modified Volkswagen Passat, non-existent.  A man who played 27 games in a defence that was tight, but will be without Lescott (Moyes hates him) and Jags.  So they will have to use a 17 year old or a reserve player.  Happy days.

I would love it if we beat them, mainly because I have a mate who likes the Everton away shirt.  Unfortunately I don't have anywhere I can watch the game, my brother (the IT guru in our family, everyone has an IT guru) has blocked the site I normally use to watch games.

Less about me, the defender situation is looking shaky at the moment, we have a couple of defenders listed in Rothman's, the best young lad coming through is Kerrea Gilbert who had a decent season with Leicester City last year so he may start in a few games.  If we do get a week 33 to 35 scenario we are royally screwed.  I think we may need one or two more defenders, maybe it is time for Arsene to give way to popular opinion...

Not much more tonight, I'm going for a few Gin and Tonics.  Yes, I am an old man.

I am sat at my uni library, and friends, I am downcast.  A fellow student may walk by and ask if I was crestfallen, yet I would reply yes, although I just have a naturally crestfallen face.  they would have to look only at my Arsenal beanie to realise the true meaning of my mood.

Normally after a player has been sold I will look at our reserves, pick out a few with the best names and, voila, we have a replacement.  Or I could point out that over the course of the season last year we had many injuries, and that losing a centre-half will not matter.  Or I could point out that Silvestre was in poor form, and that he still has a few years in him.  Or I could point out that our young squad is maturing, and that the overall sum of improvement in our young players will be equal to losing one experienced player.  But this time, I won't.  My heart tells me to say these things.  But my head disagrees.

Now I realise that I may not be the most knowledgeable man in football, and that many others have supported Arsenal since long before I was born.  But I feel that losing Kolo Toure will hurt Arsenal.  If we got 15 million for him, as some reports say, then we have that amount to add to our backline of Gallas, Senderos, Djourou, Vermaelen, Clichy, Sagna, Gibbs, and Silvestre.  Now most people would look at that and say that we are fine, no problem with that as it is.  Let's look at Manchester United: Erva, Brown, Ferdinand, Vidic, Fabio, Rafael, John O'Shea, Johnny Evans, Gary Neville and Danny Simpson. Ten top class players, even though they are all wankers.  Chelsea has nine and Liverpool has nine.  We have eight, and one of those isn't up to the job, and another has just come from the Dutch league, and will inevitably need time to adjust.  Each of the big four has one great bastion in defense.  Terry, Vidic, Carragher and err...Gallas.  No disrespect but he is hardly Tony Adams, he had the captaincy stripped and allegedly threatened to score own goals against Chelsea if a move was not forthcoming. 

I would love to see Wenger bring someone in, not Hangeland but a young lad, with some coal on his face.  How much for David Wheater?  Firstly because he is a good young defenders and secondly because that would piss off a boro fan I know.  Will Wenger buy? Who knows.  What I do know is that Arsenal do have a chance to win, yesterday I claimed that I would put money on Arsenal winning the Carling and FA cups.  Then someone asked if I would put $50 on it (25 quid), I replied that I would not, as the odds are very long.  But we do need a bit of investment back there, we have the money, hell, we have 40 million from transfers alone.  A good bit of transfer business from Arsenal could see this season be our most productive in six years.

In other news, I am currently writing a report on ownership of football clubs, what is the current feeling towards Usmanov versus Kroenke?  Arsenal will do a deadline day deal for a young defensive midfielder.  Watch Arsenal this year, we will surprise many people.  Also a quick F Off to The Daily Mail (saying we will not finish inside the top four) The Sun (same reason) and especially the racists at Talksport.  How I hate you all, I wish ill on you.

Now there are 3 types of weblogs, commonly known as blogs.  The 'Who, What, When, Where' type.  The 'writes 4 posts' type.  and the Analytical type.  The Goonbag is the more analytical style.  Which is why I don't update as regularly as other blogs may, I wait until the world is waiting for my input to a situation, then, once they are thirsting for it so, that they can only yell and rip out their hair, do I give them my opinion.

I have managed, through about 15 minutes of web trawling, to find the 2009/10 regulations for the Champion's League Competition.

Here they are.

Now, a number of people I have talked to do not understand these new rules.  Each club registers 25 players.  Lets take Arsenal

We send this list into UEFA.  Almunia, Fabianski, Mannone, Clichy, Gibbs, Vermaelen, Gallas, Toure, Djourou, Sagna, Eboue, Denilson, Diaby, Fabregas, Arshavin, Song, Nasri, Walcott, Rosicky, Ramsey, Wilshire, Van Persie, Adebayor, Vela, Bendtner, Eduardo.

Now, this is where it gets tricky, and I will have to do some analysing.  eight players must be 'locally trained players' at least four of these blokes must be 'club trained players' and at most four must be 'association trained players'.  Don't worry, Simon Clifford is not fainting yet.  Lets break this down, with HTML and MS Paint.

This is my explanation of the new rules, simply.  Now, exactly what is a 'club' and 'association' player?

A club based player has been registered with the club for three whole seasons, while he was between the ages of 15 and 21.  Any age, any nationality, lets look at who fits the bill for the Arsenal.  Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Denilson, Alex Song, Johan Djourou, Vito Mannone, Nicklas Bendtner, Armand Traore.  Seven players,  and we have 1 association trained player (been registered for any team or teams registered in The FA for three whole years between the ages of 15 and 21) in Aaron Ramsay.  so that is the eight players we need to compete in the Champion's League.  Don't be surprised to see Arsene Wenger bring in one or two association based players just in case injuries strike again.

But due to the gaffer's brilliant mind and forward thinking, we do not need to do a Chelsea or buy a full-back for 18 million, when he is worth 8.  Our youth policy has done us well, think about that next time you bag Arsene Wenger.

In other news

it only takes a fortnight to grow a decent beard.  If your wife tells you that your beard has to go, say no, if she asks with more force.  divorce.

This is a pearl of wisdom from 'The Beards' www.thebeards.com.au

Check them out

I'm out

'til next time, The Bag