HH said, "My head, oh my fecking head. The pain, the unremitting pain. I drank myself into a fecking hoop and I can't get out of it. Sweet mother of gawd somebody shoot me or get me some hoop exit instructions, I am in so much fecking pain I can barely breathe. Help me."

It was refreshing to watch a game where there were several MOTM's and not several candidates for horse whipping and deportation.

The boy Hotspur has secured two copies of the award winning 'The Boys From White Hart Lane' – Tottingham Hotspurs in the 80s. A lovely look back at the fantastic team of the 80s with chapters on Stevie Perryman, Ossie & Ricky, Tony Galvin, Paul Miller, Garry Brooke and many more more. A reminder of what football used to be like – wharts and all.

 Email in to be in with a shout of winning a copy, it's harryhotspur@oleole.com.

This form of grovelling has already paid dividends for numerous readers who are now busy running their own global home pyramid network business and/or basking in the financial rewards offered by our Nigerian Hoax Banking Affiliate opportunities.

The question is: Who wrote The Boys From White Hart Lane? 

a) Richard & Judy

b) Toni & Guy

c) Torville & Dean

d) Cagney & Lacey

e) Martin Cloake & Adam Powley

Manchester City are are a what your maiden aunt would call a rum lot. Somewhere between the Harlem Globe Trotters and the Magnificent Seven. But with inferior ball control and minus the last lot's iconic good looks.

Spurs by contrast are a bunch of perfumed ponces currently being investigated by the Trades Descriptions people for attempting to pass themselves off as a football team.

I think we'll win this. Amongst our weaponry we number flattery and deception in equal amounts. This is the mob who play like they're drowning against an unarguably mediocre outfit one day and then look like heros against a Champions League side the next.

And there's not so much the frustration but the root of all the anger they generate amongst us. They have the ability 'on their day' to do real damage. Unfortunately, all too often it's self inflicted. 

Look, we're at the top end of the table and we didn't get there by chance. BoyleSports are offering 9/1 for Huddlestone to score the goal that wins it. 

And many thanks to ODM for the clip..

 Who said there's been no progress at White Hart Lane? The fiasco has now gently advanced into a debacle.

'Officials' are 'trawling' through what must be literally minutes of CCTV footage in a bid to discover what occurred in what is thought to be some class of argy bargy between A&E and a Tottenham supporter near the tunnel at full time. 

Difficult to imagine a West Stand habitue offering anyone a bunch of fives, so my money favours an impressive sprint over from one of the know it alls in the Paxton. Passion like this for the badge shouldn't be automatically derided.

If he can shift up the right wing like that in a car coat, hat, scarf and clumpy shoes - he may well be able to a job for us - and once his identity is revealed we should put a bid in for him.

Losing to Wolves was a disaster from many perspectives. But the real damage was done days before. It's now been irrefutably confirmed that they all went on a jolly to Dublin that week. 

Some will ask, 'What's wrong with the lads letting their hair down?' The answer to me is two fold. One, if you are really asking that question then this blog should've carried a spoiler alert as you've only just discovered Saturday's result. And two - it's the manner in which these clowns carry on.

Lottery winners. Children. Amatuers. They have all that money and the class of Wayne & Waynetta Slob. The bar they descended upon in Malahide I haven't been through the door of, and Malahide is a decent enough haunt. But Copperface Jack's is a kip. Any eye candy allure evaporates in the steam of the place as fire regs are ignored and the p*ssed up kids march in and in and in. 

There was a piece in the Herald on our brave boys' bender which rightly asked the question  why it was they had failed to go anywhere nice? The answer of course is Knackerman himself. Blistering Bob Keane. Cultural Attache to the Tallaghtfornian Embassy, pointless shouty bloke.

It was PSB who organised this soiree. I'm just impressed that they didn't hit Carrols first for hats with ginger beards and drive around in Limos' waving various body parts out of the windows. Maybe they did. Their security team were on anyone with a camera phone like white on rice.

Apparently Arry binned Bentley and Crazypavinchenko on Saturday as he was sending out a message; based upon effort shown in training. I say 'East Ender speak with forked tongue'. It's more likely this was a due to them not getting their round in.

Premiership star man and distinguished Twitterer Barren Dent QC was quoted griping over Arry's management style this week. When it's going badly it's the player's fault and when things are on the up that was down to him.

Who knows or cares? What is certain, if there is/was a supposed booze ban at The Lane then who's enforcing it? Or does the tight lipped, ashen faced supremo simply leap into his motor, whack up his Englebert Humperdink tape to the max and floor it home to the High Chaparral at the end of each day?

Not exactly dark times, but certainly dull ones. Rumours of our demise are much exaggerated, it must be said.

The killer of the day was naturally that we had our fourth spot usurped by Aston Villa but they bloody well deserved it. We can't crack Wolves at home yet they can turn over Yanited at Old Trafford. Good luck and God speed to 'em, I say.

There's a nasty unsubstantiated rumour fact doing the rounds that The Boys From White Hart Lane were on the lash celebrating the birth of Christ in Dublin on Wednesday night.

A friend of a friend has this very evening confirmed she SAW them in HERE and it's said that the brainless fops then did Copperface Jacks. A city center kip of the highest order which even yours truly has only been thrown out of once.

Ordinarily I'd call for calm. But this is an unprecedented p*ss take of the highest order. Mick McCarthy at home? Smithers, unleash the hounds.

 
Friday, they tell me.
 
Wolves in the crosshairs and this morning's sermon goes out like any forward thinking preacher's parsimonious piffle to both young and old. It's a marketing ploy. Innit.
 
I remember the West Stand going up. We played Wolves then. This blogger was in britches and it won't surprise many that I was a Henry Root fan. I wrote a suitable spoof to our incumabant Chairman advising that me, my wife and our two kids would be arriving next week to poke about with a view to purchasing one of his freshly tinted boxes in his N17 new world order.

It was 6-1 to the Tottinghams. Ricky Villa got a hat trick. An Amadeus loving Falco, telly evangelist Hoddle and the well spoken Crooks mopped up the rest. Was you there? What was the deal on the peanuts? 

PSB was a wolf once.  Come On You Spurs. Fix your bayonets and do'em again. 

Email me with that 1982 team against Wolverhampton Wanderers in full at harryhotspur@oleole.com and get your name in my stetson. Speaking of things colonial, many thanks to Amerispurs for  kindly providing the image above.

 The only real surprise of last night was that Didier Zokora didn't ask for the match ball after hitting the post.

We're now linked with Saha. Roger Morgan is saying enquiries made.

There will be some amongst you, as per Carlton Cole and Scott Parker who won't view this as the end of the world. But I have to ask the question, 'Is it this way that Champions League footy lies?' A 31 year old French geezer? 

The grimmest thing here for me is that it strongly suggests that RVN ain't coming our way anytime soon. 

Saha wants to be called up for the World Cup and gawd help him, perhaps he thinks that a move to us may aid that cause.

Speaking of said tournament, I've a rather delicious collector's item in the Hotspur Christmas Cornucopia for you today. It's a hardback copy of Banks vs Pelé The Save That Shook The World by Terry Baker.

This genuine collector's item is introduced by Sir Geoff Hurst and the copy I have here is autographed by none other than Gordan Banks himself. It's a fascinating read and what makes the book is that the author obviously knows and has a rapport with these legends of the game, so you get endless great stories and quotes I've certainly not seen anywhere else. The book includes a Certificate Of Authenticity.

This absolute gem has been very kindly donated by A1 Sporting Memorabilia and their website is HERE.

I use the phrase burden of expectation quite frequently but it's often just coded language for unreasonable, impatient bastards.

Word has been flying about all afternoon that (in big am dram voice) Bentley will never play for the Tottingham Hotspurs again! I have no idea what truth there is in this. But if it is the case then to the player it must come as a relief.

No, Bentley hasn't been a runaway success story. His transfer took forever and when he did land he was greeted with at best indifference and at worst the most desperately childish enquiries as to who he supported as he had been at Arsenal. I could have wept.

Azza Blud was singularly frustrating prior to Bentley's arrival. I can't recall too many voices demanding that the Rn'B loving dwarf do one. Oh no, it was an endless mantra of 'he's only young, give him a fair go'. The reality is that it took the threat of him being usurped by Bentley before he got his naffing act together and managed to improve his dreaded end product.

I always had a sneaking suspicion a lot of it was jealousy. Hardly Wayne Rooney on the eye, is he?

Conjecture is that after acting up/being disinterested in a training game today that Arry has lost all reason and he's drawn a line through his name, rather than beneath it.

Modders is back and frankly I fear for his future. Not that he may be on Sir Alex's wish list but on our lot's hit list should he fail to deliver upon his return. He was always modestly favoured but that support appears (rather bizarrely) to have dramatically spiraled during his injury induced absence. 

It's rumoured again - which is hardly a shocker as Administration looms at Upton Park - that we may see Scott Parker's name brandished about in earnest very soon. 

So what's my point? Under Arry, be mindful of the ol' ODM phrase and be careful what you wish for. Parker to Tottenham. Pav out and who in - Carlton Chuffing Cole?

I'm having two more Mai Tai's then a lie down at the very thought. 

The Daily Mirror is running rehashing a PSB to Celtic tale this morning.

I don't see it.urely it would be easier for Keane to fake his own death than to get involved in such a move? If Bob Keane has become a white elephant at White Hart Lane then he'd be heading to an elephant's graveyard at Celtic Park.

Bob is a determined character. We know that much. Few players have exhibited the drive and will to undertake as many club transfers has he has. But the much covered Liverpool one was an unmitigated disaster. 

Also, this mystical 'spiritual home' cobblers that is attached to Celtic Park kind of passes me by. After the 'boyhood dream' schtick we had to endure from the flat faced one as he scuttled up to Anfield he has surely even he has more self respect than this.

At the risk of repeating myself; I think the Rafa fiasco damaged him. Something broke and my fear is that it cannot be mended. Ordinarily, the best bet for a striker that's gone of the boil is a good run in the first squad. Get the boy back in the saddle and see what happens. In this instance I think the player needs some time out of the limelight and out of the line firing line of the fans.

The burden of expectation placed upon Tottenham players is always huge and never more so than this season. Sitting third and fourth as we have been. PSB would do well to step aside, regather himself and with any luck return refreshed and ready to play his part. The resentment garnered as he was seemingly undroppable needs to subside and if it doesn't sound too soft, folk need to feel that they can trust him again.

Arry obviously thought once he knocked a few in that would be the end of it. Unfortunately all that did was paper over the cracks.

Now, 'Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?'

  HH has of late adopted the role of an online Santa and the gifts just keep on coming. I have procured three of these bad boys.

The No#1 Fan is the latest must have in any Yids life. This is quite simply an all singing all dancing über gift.

Officially licensed FA and officially ridiculous.

Now, Nunchucks has already won one, so that leaves two more burning a hole in the HH homberg. Or you can buy one HERE!

Good luck, ladies.  

 There was a brief spell around about my third pint I think, that I quite got into our defenders showing a bit of steel.A bit of gung ho.By my fifth or so even I had realised that a dizzy blind man with a bag over his head would probably have achieved better results than our lot 

This blog will undoubtedly and maybe rightly deteriorate into an elongated lament about how we blew it. But whilst our defense was in disarray, an effective partnership of Huddlestone and Palacios is emerging. And Lennon may well return from the World Cup a hero. 

There will be those who feel that a point from up there isn't a disaster. Teams drop points, penalties are somehow a raffle. 

I'd say that's precisely the mentality that keeps us in 'our place'. As an outfit of chancers who nicked fifth twice; once upon a time. We fundamentally lack the mental strength. We really do. Everton are in tatters really and they have the desire to come back. Fulham are a band of 'not quite good enough players' yet they are - use the football parlance - knocking on the door of a Europa Cup Final. 

For Tottenham to even vaguely deliver some of our expectations the acceptance of mediocrity has to go. Walk. Do one. Just go. Leave and not return. 

We lacked bite. We lacked determination.  Crucially we were also shy of a manager who was prepared to bite the bullet and use his bench effectively.

What a pity. 

PS! Another week, another slice of pure luxury courtesy of the good folk at Savile Rogue.

Hat bound names are required and this week's killer question is Savile Rogue offer many scarves for many teams. But How many Premiership Club's do they do?   HERE

Just email me at harryhotspur@oleole.com and remember if you have already asked to be a hat dweller and haven't won anything yet, it's all good and you are still in with a decent chance of winning something. And I have more quality tat to fire at you next week too.