JJ Misses Open Goal!
Saturday, 23 May 09, 08:36 AM · Comments (72)
It's two minutes and thirty odd seconds of high jinks and hilarity with your friends and mine, the Tottenham Hotspur squad...
Here's the footage from this very morning's Soccer AM Crossbar Challenge!
Trades Descriptions Officers are on their way to the scene to speak to a Mr Robert Keane in relation to 'striker' claims made on film. And a local farmer wants to talk to the same gentleman after a cow of his grazing in a neighbouring field was hit by a football.
When his footballing days are over, Zokora should get a job as a compere in Vegas.
Campbell? He can swish right off.
BIOYC!
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"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 17 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
-
"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 7 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
72 Comments · Add yours
good stuff!
bit worrying that our 2 first choice strikers couldn't hit the net!
I think the big question here is why anyone would admit to watching Soccer Am
Reply to name:
If that's your idea of a big question you need to get out more.
Now ask Zok to trap a ball.
lol that was hilarious !!
Just when Arry wants a booze ban the squad is challenged to hit the bar!!!!
Surely Leders could have no sweat!!!!
Campbell and the Black Zorro bit was off-putting.
Baler claiming his position is "left side" was funny.
Shame Ledley missed out - he was still fighting at the entrance
pull shit man you r trepin'
hate to spoil the fun but jj didnt miss the goal
HH I think your headline should have read "Shock horror for Tottenham fans Zokora finds the net"
what does BIOYC mean?
Bring it on you cnuts
Reply to Yidinfrance:
Good man, I was allways to shy to ask
jd trouble lol
erm?
You know he scored right? the title says "JJ misses open goal" well... he doesnt
That was funny! Was this for a cause or just the Soccer AM challenge? Robbie Keane's effort was atrocious and he rightfully hid his head in shame.
Reply to avisie:
god, campbell really is a camp bell
Reply to ODM and HH from previous post.
Bollocks.
Just shows what a class act JJ is.
you lot should wake up and smell the talent
Reply to Bruxie:
Her's me thinking I had some credit!
@Christov & meee93
The headline was an intentional dig at the anti JJ camp who might go out their way to twist whatever he did.
Believe it or don't even HH is able to grasp the concept of The Crossbar Challenge.
Dear oh dear oh dear....
Reply to Bruxie:
507
Retribution will be swift my friends.
PSB made a complete dick of himself.
Reply to Bruxie:
Ha. You're too kind, what have we done now?
Reply to HarryHotspur:
Scratch that. I just got it.
My award winning LCD gag obviously wounded you
Reply to HarryHotspur:
I got carried away with numbers on oleole and ODM put me right.
Serves me right...
Just wait!
Reply to HarryHotspur:
The LCD bit was funny.
No, really!
haha...good to see the lads in training....why the fuck is campbell still there...i'm getting bored of asking...if you ask me...we are not a proper football club...while the people in charge think blooding campbell for the mancs is a good idea...FUCK OFF...
JJ's natural talent wins in theend....let's hope we see more of it next season......you have to love modric and gomes...good additions to the mighty tottenham......i think ledley and hutton are planning a good night out 2moro up at some pool nightclub....last game of the season....ledley's gonna have a real blow out...COYS...
Reply to KOJAC:
lets just hope the blow out is of the knee variety
Reply to 7screws:
meant to say is not of the knee variety
Any insider knowledge on what the fk JJ's AKA is supposed to be? I heard "Jermain Jenas, AKA delsim or Nelson or summut or nuffin"
(No denying he has the talent but he doesn't use it enough. Still, I will always be a fan after that goal against the ars*)
Enjoyed that - and I guess I owe a Jenas an apology. (What did he say? It sounded like "JJ, aka Down's Syndrome" but I'm guessing it was something else)
Dhalsim, from Street Fighter.
Did JJ say he was felching?!?!?!??
Does Lula Modric understand the concept of the crossbar challenge? He rolled it in the net and cheered when he scored.
Kenae woeful. Get them out of the way now son, so you hits the target on Sunday.
Very funny HH, I'll have to sky+ the repeat of this to see the full version now.
Looking forward to tomorrow even if it is only to see 10,000 geordies smashing their beloved city up again, I agree with draw prediction (we'll do well to get a draw with our absentees at the moment).
Whilst I'd like to get 7th for pride reasons, this europa cup nonsense will harm our league form and I can't see any players we want turning us down at the moment especially with the way we've shaped up over the last 4 months.
On the rumours with Brown & Cisse, I can see why 'Arry feels the need to stiffen up the centre position - we have had games when we haven't dominated despite the quality of Jenas & Hudd.
Another wilson type midfielder would be very un-spurs like but what has a spurs like midfield achieved in the last 25 years?
I feel the signing like him will only release modders & lennon to cause more havoc. Cisse will be fourth choice striker at best and as said previously will replace campbell.
Good to see behind the scenes footage. Got it on good authority that liverpool are sniffing around Jenas & Lennon. Apparently Harry wants Benayoun if he is to part with either of the two players. This isn't made up, very reliable source.
Reply to Spence:
Cheers
Reply to Carlos_Kickball:
Luka* and Keane*
Lula Modric sounds like someone of a completely different profession...
Love it that Luka and Gio can't kick the ball hard enough to even reach the goal.
Perhaps we could use Zak to do keep ups at half time, make him feel like he is earning his money.
Reply to Spence:
the only thing reliable is that every year compulsive liars come out of the woodwork to give grown men a tickle with these wanked out rumours
Reply to Jonathan:
That's a bit aggressive. Suggest you go and be really hard/hard done by somewhere else.
*Cpt Mainwaring voice*
Stupid boy.
Reply to Jonathan:
Just wait and see!!!!
Reply to spence:
Do we want Benayoun though? Certianly not due to hte loss of Bludd. JJ maybe, but how would the guy improve us? Who would we leave out?
Reply to Spence:
Liverpool have been tapping lennon up via the media for over 6 months now so old news I'm afraid. I can't see the spanish waiter going for JJ either but if they want to swap alonso for him I'd do the deal.
Benayoun is too similar to modders to be of any use to us so can't see that happening either.
Robbie Keane will tell Lennon to stay put as he will tell him Rafa is (to put it mildly) a c*nt.
Reply to jfdit:
Good shout for Alonso! He woud fit the bill perfectly if we swapped him for Jenas.
No Sell Bludd!
I'm not down on Jenas at all. What a crave is consistency.
But I think it'll take bailiffs to get him out of The Lane.
Reply to HarryHotspur:
What *I* crave, even.
Reply to HarryHotspur:
I'm not his biggest fan but the guy has such potential which so far is unfulfilled. Whether he can step up and improve further(as he has done since playing with wilson) is going to be key.
Decent squad player if we could get another beast to partner wilson????
Reply to HarryHotspur:
you typing with your nose again
Reply to jfdit:
How very dare you.
It was in fact the metal prong the Dr's strapped to my forehead.
So lads, who are your transfer predictions? We can state them here and now, pin our colours to the mast and state who you think (not who you want) will come in.
I am going for: Brown, McGeady and Chamakh.
Great clip - Amazed to see Zok hit the target, but even more delighted to see the back of the 'Black Zorro' Campbell - is it something with tha surname that makes a player a prize twat? As for PSB, the words "cow's arse" and "banjo" spring to mind.......should be sued for telling lies about himself, fucking striker - pile of bollocks......
Reply to Carlos_Kickball:
Let's blog.
Great Clip.
Although Bale missed the bar, I thought his strike was sublime, I love the right to left reverse curl. The kid has got some great control over the ball.
If only the Thudd was there, guaranteed crossbar hero.
Reply to HarryHotspur:
So who are you going for?
Reply to Carlos_Kickball:
I couldn't say - with Spurs we usually get linked to 70 players for every one we buy. I'm expecting a target man type CF, a fancy LM, and cover for Ledders, Wilson and Gomes.
Eeesh.
I need to have what Bruce Reynolds called a 'thunk'.
Poor old Frazier Campbell, we won't buy him, he's got Mancheda and Welbeck ahead of him for a place on Utd's bench! Maybe he caan join Hull back in the Championship.
On the transfer front, unless Levy can pull of another 'Luka style coup' I reckon Harry might just pull a big, strong, African/ South American nobody out of the hat!
I honestly think we should try to keep everyone we have and just add a few.
A new striker would be nice.
well i guess if you can't beat em, join em.
anyway, my Dad's brother's cousin's auntie's housekeeper is friends with that burger man who calls everybody colonel - he does the catering for the Spurs boardroom on the side.
He was handing out the burgers whilst the board were discussing future purchases (no onions for Levy, extra cheese for Harry btw) and overheard that Lionel Messi was a big fan of Ginola back in day and saw himself as being that peripheral figure for Spurs. Apparently he's buying out his contract to break the deal.
Trust me - this is very real, he's a genuine ITK - so if you don't believe it you'll look very silly if/when it's confirmed.
Reply to Jonathan:
i dont think me not believing you will make me look silly...messi to spurs HAHAHAHHAHAH
Reply to HarryHotspur:
Need to get out more ????? Hmmmmmmmmm
Reply to Bazzle:
Just a friendly suggestion.
No need to start humming all over the gaff.
Reply to Jonathan:
It seems pretty obvious that what I had previously been keeping up my sleeve will sadly need to be revealed this window.
It's an idiots guide to the Transfer Window On The Internet.
I began drafting it months ago and thought, no, surely next time around there'll be no need to humiliate and drop kick these clowns over next doors fence.
Even I can be wrong.
Lessons all round, eh?
Reply to Hosk:
Dalsim is a character from street fighter video game - you probably too young punk
Reply to Maybe Juande:
Or too old pops!
My wish list - Brede Hangeland, Adam Johnson and EDIN DZEKO.
three players to really push us on. Dzeko is quality, we would be lucky to get him, get in early Harry
If you think Keanes effot was shit, look at The Wigan crossbar challenge and marvel at Mido.
this challenge was made for thudd. he should have had a go
Reply to gra:
completely agree!
Reply to gra:
He would have knocked the goal over and spoiled it for everyone else. No one likes a spoil sport.
Reply to gra:
Hasn't he a bit injured?