Joe Cole? Shurley Shome Mishtake?
Tuesday, 07 July 09, 12:58 PM · Comments (185)
Gratuitous? I'll show you gratuitous. It's Joe's bird...
Breaking cobblers news just in that we are in some class of negotiation stroke oblique stroke conversation with some club for some bloke currently trading as 'Joe Cole'.
In the softly spoken words of Lennie Cohen, Halleujah.
Will, could, ought, might this one happen? Who cares? I'm just basking in the rare transitory comfort that at least this one isn't sh*t or wearing a tag..........
The sources for this info are varied to put it mildly. But Marcspurs on Spurs Odessey has always been on the money in relation to his Chelsea info in the past.
To paraphrase Partridge..Can I shock you? I actually like Joe 'King of the contrived stepover' Cole.
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"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
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"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 7 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
185 Comments · Add yours
Just stop the speculation. Getting boring now.
I told you that yesterday you old slacker, tell me something I dont know
Harry - I'd love joe cole, but to tell u the truth i'd rather see that lovely lass in the picture (Keeley "I wanna jump ur bones" Hazell) wearing the spurs jersey next season...
now that would start the pre-season off with a bang!!
Joe Cole - and his bird! Bring 'em both on.......and Joe Cole!
Would love it to happen - he's excellent, but I cant see it. Only thing is if he were to be forced out of Chelsea, surley the London and Harry connection would put us in the driving seat. Us or bloody Citeh!
Surely this is a signing that would actually improve our squad. Move Modders back in the middle with Wilson, put Joey on the left, and get rid of a whole raft of CM's taht are never going to reach their potential. However, before we get too excited I seem to remember last summer reading that 40 or so ITK's saw Joey at Spurs Lodge taking his team photo.
Mmmmm sounds tasty, looks pretty good too! Although where would PSB fit in with the modster and JC supplying the ammo for JD plus one?
I was going to say something but that pic's made my mind go blank. It was witty and erudite too and... I'll put the kettle on.
Reply to JewYork Yid:
My cousin, a taxi driver, whose fare was talking to his aunt whose brother in law may or may not be sitting in a tree outside the lodge said that he is there right now!
Reply to David:
Oh come come, David, we've barely started.
Why so sad?
Reply to BrewCitySpur:
Would be a fantastic signing but I won't hold my breath (except when I look at the photo above).
MORE ABSOLUTE COBBLERS FROM MR HOTSPUR
Chelsea ain't Sarf of the River they're from bleedin West London you Oik
Reply to HarryHotspur:
You have upset them over on COYS Harold
Would have to disagree. Joe Cole is proper gash.
I think the lack of actual deals is down to a couple of things :
1. Arry being cagey so as to not advertise who we are desperately hoping to get or shunt.
2. Danny boy driving the hardest deal as ever.
But that is all good.
The certainties seem that Zok and Benty are deffo gonners.
Calm yourself DV you'll get over it !
1 more defensive midfielder a striker and a center back is all we need. If Cole comes and gets in the team we`ll be too weak at the back.
I`d shag his misses though
Reply to Leegee:
I'm sure she can't wait
signing a new contract at chelsea next week... end of rumour. i really want to be proved wrong though.
Ay carumba. My vote is for a week of Wag of the Day. Escort mag this place up a bit.
Reply to onedavemackay:
We can all dream!
Reply to onedavemackay:
Harry
Wages a problem for us?
I'm sure Joe Cole's wife will be pleased to know that he's knocking off Keeley on the side.
Reply to Leegee:
Wet or dry ?
Reply to TMWNN:
zuck me
Reply to onedavemackay:
I was waiting for that one
Believe I have my next project:
LINK
Is Joe Cole all that?
Reply to TMWNN:
dunno cant remember him playing for ages....what colour is his hair?
*wet dreams tonight me thinks*
Reply to Nunchucks:
We are but simple men with protestant ambition
Reply to HarryHotspur:
thought we were jewish
OOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDDD NNNNNNNNNEEEEEEWWWWWWSSSSSS
Harry. Once again another one of your postings has me frustrated and left me in a state of anxious bewilderment......
......I can't see the whole picture of Hazel with out toggling ......THE PAGE MAN...... for god sake!
I have heard the Cole thing banded about before but as some one up top just mentioned I can't recall his recent form. Any one able to shed some light on that?
Just which club sarf of thr river does he play for?
Does Harry have much sway with Cole, & does Cole want 1st team footie pre World Cup? If no, can't see him here tbh...
By the looks of the captivating snap above,there seems to be no light emanating from any tunnels Joe Cole may be hiding in, perhaps 'Arry should look into it...COYS
Joe Cole's recent form is mostly injured, but so was Woodgate before we signed him. I was half expecting Woody's arm to fall off when he signed the contract but I've been pleasantly surprised. Joe Cole, when fit, is a proper wide player who can can score some pretty cracking goals from the wing, though I always thought he was a righty, not a lefty? I know he played left for Enger-land, but when the alternative was Downing...
Anyways, he's more of a winger than Modders is, and he's better than David Barnetly.
I think Jo Cole would be great addition.
Will never happen though.
PS: That isnt his missus Harry. You have a picture of Keeley Hazell. Hes with Carly Zucker.
Well it's not that far fetched to say that Joe Cole could be on his way to the lane considering most of his family are die-hard Spurs supporters, and sources that this info first surfaced from were close family ties to Joe Cole.
Didn't Chelski sign another russian comrade today that plays in JC's position, down the left? Maybe just cover but is I reading too much between the line?
Reply to SingletonSpur:
Good point
So how much you think he'd cost, say 15 mil?
and everyone is still ignoring the fact he's signing a new contract with chelsea. it's like my words were not visible behind the thick mist of hope!
Reply to McG:
15mil is our normal quota.
Reply to essexyid:
Sorry for questioning, but where's the proof in the pudding?
don't apologise, obviously there is no proof there, and i can't really openly give out any on here. i just found it alarming that no-one even mentioned what i said.
i have it on very, very good account that we have dropped our enquiries because he is signing a new contract at chelski. that's all i can say really.
Reply to essexyid:
Give it a rest, he is in the bag
Reply to essexyid:
They are also ignoring the fact that 98% of all transfer rumours are absolute bollocks
joe cole is definately coming to white hart lane and
my source has also told the deal should be completed
in the next few day
Reply to keith:
And what source is this? GOD I hate speculation!! If I read one more "he is definately signing" I am gonna blow me noggin!
Reply to keith:
And your source is ?
Reply to onedavemackay:
No don't tell me
HP ?
Reply to keith:
My bloody sister and her big mouth, she's told everyone about Joe's medical at Holly House.
Guess this must mean the Figo deal fell through...
i'd love to be proven wrong and for keith to be right, i'd love joe cole at spurs. but i'd be extremely suprised if my source was wrong on this one.
i have some very good connections within the club
Reply to onedavemackay:
Horse'shit'radish?
Not going anywhere
Off course he is coming, he has had enough of the Chavs. He wants to play proper football
trust me the joe cole deal will be completed in the next few days and i can also tell you that the club and sevilla have agreed a fee in theregion of 7.5 million its just down to the player to agree personal terms
Reply to Lebowski:
Figo is coming as well and Rudd and Teddy when he's not playing poker.
Reply to keith:
I have no reason to disbelieve you Keith old chum but I am always more impressed when a ITK comes from a registered poster.
I don't mind this breed of rumour/specualtion. At least it has some hint of ambition attatched to it. It certainly ticks the box of 'better than we currently have.' The last few names rolling around the tumbler have made me quite glum. Pennant, Crouch (Agreed- not the worst idea) and now Bellamy; a man with a face you'd pay good money to see lodged betwixt a black&decker bench vice. A la Casino.
I heartily approve of this Cole business. I just hope his wage demands aren't too ludicrous.
I like Keith. He gives me that warm feeling all over. He could be pulling the wool over my eyes, but he does it with such certainty that I don't care. Plus, its the internet. Who would be dishonest on the internet?
I don't usually nit pick, but this artical is rubbish. Chelsea are not south of the river. If you don't know that, you don't know anything about which chelsea players are thinking of moving on either.
Thank God, Matt's here to set us all straight.
Reply to DaredandDone:
I never trust a man who can't spell definitely.
It makes it sound everything but.
But, I do hope I'm wrong and he's some Rainmain-esque footballing clairvoyant.
*Rainman*
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
What's wages got to do with us?
And surely, it can't all be about wages. If you're offered 50K a week ain't that enough? How much do these f*ckers want?
Reply to matt hammond:
It's global warming mate - check it out!
You're right. The number of wives I've said that to
my source could be wrong but this is what he is telling me.i hope its true because we need a left winger and then we can play modric in the center with palacios
Reply to steve1987:
It were better in the old days....LINK
I can confirm the rumour that Harry was present in the Poole branch of Sainsbury's, where he bought a pack of fig rolls and a sack of coal for the barbie.
Reply to steve1987:
Agree- It shouldn't be all about wages. But I'd take a punt and say he's on 80-90k-a-week at Cheatski. There's no way Levy would agree to dismantle our current, well balanced wage stucture to get Cole. Nor would I want him too.
Do you think he'd take a cut and play for Spurs?
The f*ckers want the world and everything in it.
Reply to simon from sainsbury's:
You ITK's what the f*ck do you know? - he bought some
Cillit Bang and a family pack of pork scratchings (for Louise
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
Sad ain't it?
Reply to steve1987:
Reply to steve1987:
Truly. By the way that Youtube clip was a classic. The Arsenal team hasn't changed a notch has it?
Although Gallas smokes more pole than cigarettes these days.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
if he wants to play first team football then money shouldn't be a problem.i think we need another center midfielder because zokora is going to sevilla
Joe Cole was in the Spurs player fav hangout NuBar in Loughton on Saturday night so this one really could have legs, maybe he was in town house hunting during the day...? Not been seen in there before ever!
would love keith to be right, as i said before. he's also correct re: zokora to sevilla, apart from the fact the deal isn't complete yet, and the exact figures haven't been finalised.
Believe me or not. Im ITK as it comes. VERY close to the source (dribble)I AM IT ...
I am coming to you (drool).
I never touched Keeley (slobber).
I had a good holiday (ahh yesh).
Peace x JC
Reply to matt hammond:
He doesn't mention the Thames, so they could be south of the river.
Besides, due to the meandering nature of the Thames, if the second hand fridge were visible from, let's say the north side of Blackfriars, it would in fact appear to be 'sarf of the river'.
So there.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
...and takes more pipe too, the filthy gooner.
You could add:
The truth is
I've never said this to anyone before
Of course I love you
Buyers are liars
I'll ring you
and my favourite : I'm not trying to sell you anything
Reply to onedavemackay:
You forgot "I promise not to cum in your mouth honey".
It's getting worse....LINK Shawcross?
You worked the markets and Oxford Street then !
Reply to onedavemackay:
I tend to agree with your sentiments ODM. However my memory is good and I recall when we used to frequent the old blogspot that the Essex Yid was quite accurate with his ITK remarks. A damn sight better than most.
Despite his non-registered status, I will believe him in that we won't be signing Joe Cole.
In fact, cross off every player that earns anywhere close to 100k a week. Or is really good. We have a better chance of signing a "Marcus Berg" than a "K-J Huntelaar".
I'm afraid we are in no position to attract totally top class, proven players. The players we will likely attract will have something to prove.
i.e.
Either they have "issue" history. See Barton, Bellamy, Pennant etc. They are devalued as a result and have something to prove. Wages/Fees won't be sky high (no fee at all for Pennant) therefore they fit the risk/reward category. A player such as Bassong, his issue is the team he joined got relegated.
Or they are relatively speaking unproven in top class leagues. Such as Marcus Berg, who will command a reasonably high fee, shows bags of promise but is perhaps not quite ready for a Real Madrid/Chelsea type salary/team.
The big money teams will attract, and pay, the big money players. We are not in that category. Peter Crouch may be an England striker, but he has his fair share of critics, and has something to prove. Plus he wants to prove his worth for the World Cup. He'll likely envisage a move away from Pompey would aid him. We need to lower our expectations regarding the "status" of player we can get. Joe Cole would be great. On some angles he fits the bill but on his salary? Not a chance. Which is why I think, not likely.
Of course, it's just my opinion.
I'm ringing Arry in the moaning. You should deffo take charge of disposals
Reply to MysteriousStranger:
I think you are being unduly pessimistic.
Gomes, Hutton, Palacious and Modric to name a few, may not be in the Ronaldo bracket, but they would not look out of place in the top four sides and of course Man U bought the Bulgarian and were interested in him before he came to the lane.
Sure there are players that are beyond us but there are plenty of very good players in the World that would be only too pleased to join us.
Have faith BIOYC
Reply to TMWNN:
Wow, if ever there was a prototype for the 'Spurs-type player' it's gotta be Shawcross. Move over Ben Thatcher.
This will be a great move. The only problem is height. Lennon, Modric, Cole would be a great trio but they would probably need two solid midfielders in behind them.
Reply to onedavemackay:
LINK
Reply to onedavemackay:
Gomes - from PSV Eidhoven.
Hutton - from Glasgow Rangers.
Palacios - from Wigan.
Modric - from Dinamo Zagreb.
I don't deny their quality. But going to THFC was in each players case a progression up their "career ladder" (stepping stone?). It would be great if they'd stay. But my point is still valid. If the guy plays for any of the big four currently, and earns IRO 100k a week now, he ain't coming to Spurs. A player earning 20k to 40k a week in a lesser league, or is playing for a lesser club, or has something to prove, will come to Spurs to earn £50-75k a week. The four players you cited in your argument fit the criteria I specified, therefore my point still remains.
As for Berbatov, he played in a lesser league, and Man Utd felt the risk outweighed the reward. We (Comolli? Jol? Whoever) on the other hand felt the reward outweighed the risk. Man Utd only then took the plunge afterwards, (for a much greater fee) and he hasn't fit into their side quite as well as he did ours. If he stays there, he may become more of a pivotal player for them this season than he did when Ronaldo was their playmaker.
We might buy a "Bafetimbi Gomis", but we won't buy a "K-J Huntelaar", or a "David Villa".
COYS!
* Eindhoven even
Easily the most skillful English player of his generation and sine our cult hero Gazza was in his pomp. Joe Cole whould be a mega-signing and if we could get players of his quality to come this summer, to be honest, I'd be surprised, but here's hoping.
Reply to Lilywhite:
Shawcross would be an excellent signing. Better than Dunne,Bassong,Distin. I'm pushing this lads barrow all the way to "Arrys markey stall. COYS
Drama was the order of the day when Chigwell Fire Brigade was called to Spurs Lodge today where a strange man had lodged himself in the boughs of Luxborough Lane's oldest oak. Smiling insanely, he told members of the fire crew to leave him alone. "If I was a tree frog or a gnome you wouldn't give me a second glance. I just came up here for a bit of peace and quiet and to get a different perspective on the Joe Cole sightings."
A large crowd gathered as the man produced a packet of sandwiches, an apple and a bottle of Dr Pepper from his backpack and proceeded to eat his lunch.
Can't believe Jonas Gutierrez is going to Roma, he would have been a great signing
Reply to MysteriousStranger:
When the new stadium is completed we will then be in a better financial position to pay higher wages and attract "bigger" stars.
At the moment we pay "second tier salaries" so we will always be top 10 not top 4. (until we make that financial step up)
We could have a fluke season and get into the top 4 but there is already a few teams above us in that position. The quicker the new ground is up and running the better!!!!
Would be nice, but won't hold breath. Wish we wouldn't keep getting linked with Richard Dunne-Nothing.
He's toooooooo slow. The prospect of him partnering Woodgate or Dawson (in king's absence) is scary. The speedless combo of wooders and Daws is bad enough!
Reply to MysteriousStranger:
I don't disagree that "top class proven players" as you put it aren't going to rush to the lane, but my point is that there are plenty of great players out there who are not being signed by the big 7 or 8 teams in Europe.
I think that the success of Palacious, Santa Cruz and Valencia demonstrate that there are enough class around without us having to try to compete with attractions of the CL performers and Arry has a proven track record as a manager who finds these gems and persuades players like Diarra and Glen Johnson etc to join clubs like Portsmouth.
Fergie and Arsene have been quick to recognise the effect of player power and they have both seen top players leave in their prime. This is the way things are now and all clubs, however big, have to accept it and we are no different we have to be very smart in the way we buy and sell.
Of course Berbatov was a great example of how to handle this. We had two great years out of him and sold him at a massive profit of course we would want to keep top players for a lot longer than two years but given that was not going to happen the whole scenario was a good one for us.
Reply to fatfish:
Reply to onedavemackay:
Redknapp is no fool, he will have identified over the season which positions need strengthening (it's glaringly obvious) and will have instructed his scouts to find the players that'll fill them. He'll have his targets.
If a well known 'top class proven player' who fits the bill becomes available, I'm sure Redknapp and Levy will try their hardest to get their man.
No player of this type will sign for us until he knows that none of the bigger clubs (offering bigger wages) are interested.
I'm quite certain that once the top 4 and City have finished buying, we'll sign at least 3 players that will improve us and perhaps one 'big' name closer to the deadline.
Since when has Redknapp not bought any players in a transfer window?
looks like we have a fight on our hands to sign Downsynd
WTF are they on about he"s a fukin cripple who won't be back till October.
Reply to 2DayArry:
There'd be a fight if I was involved
didnt redknapp buy nugent?
Reply to jolsgonemental:
Yes, he did.
Your point is?
Pointy Shouty Cunts birthday today, I hope `Arry and Levy are working on a one way ticket out of the Lane for a present
Arry reminds me of the folk who win millions on the lottery but continue to live in a caravan, and shop for reduced price chicken drumsticks at Asda.
I dont want just before sell by date chicken drumsticks. Dunne is a drumstick, as is Crouch and Downing.
Reply to jolsgonemental:
Didn't Wenger buy Senderos and Cygan ?
Didn't Fergie buy Juan Sebastián Veron ?
Reply to A_Felching:
Mind your language their are ladies present
Reply to jolsgonemental:
See who we actually buy before you complain. Would you have complained about Diarra or Glen Johnson ? Are you unhappy with Palacious ?
Reply to onedavemackay:
In fact THERE are ladies present
Reply to TMWNN:
He is of course a master tactician, who has had the upper hand in his duels with Jose, Fergie and Wenger down the years. He also has a large trophy cabinet in his house which displays his countless League titles and European cup triumphs. Harry is no fool, but God help him if he thinks he take Levy for one
Reply to TMWNN:
The pair of you make very good comments and point perhaps, toward the fact that we ought drop some pretensions and realise that our short to medium term role is a club that buys the Wilsons and Woodgates of this world.
These players have enough style to appease our collective vanity yet put in a full shift when they're in the shirt.
The Rocha's won't do the Modrics any favours. Cast 'em out. The ones that occasionally play well must have their days numbered if we're to make any real headway.
Compromise is a tricky sport but Arry is more likely to succeed than most.
And us Levy lovers will get our moment in the sun as he strives to keep the Bellamy's out the West Stand Car Park.
Somebody put the national anthem or Jerusalem on, will you? I've come over all unnecessary
Reply to onedavemackay:
ladies with cunts.
Reply to onedavemackay:
I'm present too.
Aterisks pleeeeeeeeease Mr Felching
Reply to jolsgonemental:
Drumsticks you may percieve them to be, but all the same, where is the conclusive proof that he is looking at them in the first place?
The same newspapers and ITK's that are constantly telling us we're 'swooping', 'chasing', 'eyeing up', 'making a raid for' 'watching' plus any other transfer window jargon you care to throw in.
The fact we are linked with everyone from the heart-fluttering Real Madrid players, to the head shaking Downing, to the down right stupid Figo stories, we are being fed shit intravenously, and we can do nothing about it. As that is what 99% of it is. SHIT.
Reply to jolsgonemental:
Or Ladies with lady front bottoms
Reply to jolsgonemental:
And that hopefully concludes this morning's GCSE Biology paper.
So happy birthday to erstwhile Premiership striker, Bob Keane. I wonder if our new shirt was amongst his prezzies this morning?
Reply to TMWNN:
well said TW
Reply to Graham:
Spain
Reply to keith:
keith, joe cole would be great etc etc however do you know about this cana bloke is he in his way etc and berg for that matter, joe cole great player but is he really needed
berg is going to hamburg
Reply to SingletonSpur:
My wet camping break in Wiltshire(don't ask) is only enlivened by Harry's headline posts & JGM's crude stabs to my funny bone. But Singleton Spur has woken the bee in my bonnet -
(To be read in an outraged tone):
It's not 'proof IN the pudding', it's OF. As in 'the proof of the pudding's in the eating'.
I will now dismount and continue looking for a shop which sells wellies.
so we've joined 'the race to sign Dunne'
more of a amble than a race i would have thought
Reply to HarryHotspur:
What to get a man who has everythiing he needs? What he wants he probably nicked during his flirtation with the dipside. Might I suggest we give him the prospect of the old heave-ho for christmas if he doesn't buck up his ideas?
Tee hee
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Couldnt agree more with that!!!!
I saw Harry in Blockbusters the other day, talking to a bald, bespectacled midget. I snuck up behind the 'adult' section and overheard what I think was "Crouch is a tiger and a dragon or Downings out in Beverley Hills" I think transfers are imminent.
Reply to KrakowJosh:
We're going to need a brochure for Bent.
How's the Mbassy bar by the way?
1. Richard Dunne is not overly slow. Deceptively quick infact. I'd said before that in international Football he is the dogs balls, but in the premiership he may not be as good. Saying that, I believe he was Citys player of the year 3 years running a year or two back.
2. Bristol City manager on Sky Sports this morning, dont know his name. Their kits made by Puma, and yeah, there's a hideous piss stain v on it too. infact, on near every new puma kit I've seen, and on alot of these new kits, there's a crazy pointless v shaped colour on the front. Must be the in thing, and we have the worst looking of the lot, so like fashion, maybe we are 'the in crowd'.
marcus berg is going to hamburg.joe cole would be a great sighing because he wouldn't cost that much and
cole and lennon on the wings would cost havoc for defenders
Reply to KrakowJosh:
TEE FUKIN HEE all right. That is some funny shit
Reply to keith:
why wouldnt Joe Cole cost that much?
hes an England international, relatively young and a good player. cant see him being any less than 12 million
Reply to onedavemackay:
Don't knock a good cobble.
Joe Cole? Yes please!
Reply to toddspur:
joe cole is in his last year of his contract and chelsea might decide to cash in on him
Looks like our midfield problems are sorted, Harry's bought back Zongo for a secon trial???! Zongo, Zongo, they found him near the Congo... (to the tune of unmbungo)
Reply to keith:
fair enough but he is still worth 12 mill but for the record I think Arry would pay 3mill more than that to get him....after all we only ever pay 15mill for players
Just had an email from a mate who is pretty high up in a betting company and he is saying a fair few bets have come in on Cole joining us. Could it be?
Would love joe cole to come but i think its a bit unrealistic but then again Harry Redknapp is known to make the impossible possible!!!
Reply to Nunchucks:
Rosaria Cannavo for me.
Reply to fatfish:
The strange man had devoured his fish paste and raspberry jam sandwiches more quickly than normal, in his eagerness to catch a glimpse of the icon that is Joe Cole. His left hand slipped inside his backpack and slowly withdrew, clutching his most treasured possession; his Grandfather's brass naval telescope. He paused only briefly to admire the sheer craftsmenship of the eyepiece before raising it to his right eye. "Drat and double drat" he curesed, that confounded villain Harry Hotspur had blackened the eye end with Cherry Blossom black shoe polish.
One or two stifled laughs reached up to him from the expectant crowd gathered below before a shout went up. "Oi, panda eye, what the fuck is happening over at the Lodge?"
The strange man wiped the eye end with an immaculately pressed silk handkerchief, before raising the spyglass to his eye once again.
He gulped at what he saw. There was 'Arry, deep in negociation with men from another part of London town. Yes, it was, he was sure it was. Yes, the men from the Metropolitan Police were there again.
His gaze moved round to the right where he spied a door, a neon sign burning brightly above it. 'Potential Transfers In' was now laser etched on his retina. The line queueing at this door was at least 400 people long. The strange man recognised a few faces in the line. An olive skinned pensioner carrying golf clubs over his right shoulder and a pigs head under his left arm; a gangly, toothy individual, making robotic movements as the low lying clouds combed his hair; a slow moving man on crutches hugging the left hand side of the pavement.
His gaze was drawn to another neon. The sign was sparking and flashing 'In The Bag Done Deals'. Was that a door below it? Yes, he could just make out the shape, the rusting chains and padlocks covering it like Houdini's magic box. The strange man's heart sank. But wait, who is that approaching the locked door? The blanket, held in place by Daniel Levy, covered the identity of the mysterious arrival. Daniel produced a bunch of keys and an industrial can of WD40 from his briefcase. As he did so blanket slipped a little. As it did, the strange man caught a brief glimpse of the name on the back of the new home shirt worn by the mysterious stranger under the blanket. Did it really say that name?
The strange man reached deep into his pocket and pulled out his ageing Nokia and started searching his phonebook. A, B, C, D all the way through to S. He punched the name and listened to the ringing tone for what seemed like the time it took Zokora to score a goal. "Hello strange man, you're through to Spurs Community In The Know, what have you got for me?" The strange man spoke in hushed tones. "There's finally some real news to report" he whispered. "Just seen entering a door at the Lodge, Levy covering him with a blanket." "Yes, who is it?", spluttered the SC ITK helpdesk. "Well, his shirt said Week's Triallist from Africa" replied the strange man.
Zokora deal done - pidgeons of Seville beware
Yet, strangely, so much less...
Reply to Chirpy:
Behold. The messengers have broken the news to the assembled doves.
LINK
Reply to fatfish:
.....the new home shirt worn by the mysterious stranger under the blanket.....
Not OUR Mysterious Stranger, shurely?
Reply to toddspur:
joe cole will be joining us in the next few days.if you look at sky sports news we agreed fee with sevilla for dider zokora and i alredy told everybody that last night
Reply to keith:
cheers keith.
that was certainly one out of the blue. zokora to sevilla.
bye bye Didi
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its been.....................eh fun?
See ya Zoko-Pops, can't ever fault the effort of the guy.
Reply to jolsgonemental:
zokora to sevilla was always on cards because he wanted to play first team football
So the mask of Zokora moves on, although he's actually been trialling for Sevilla for some time. He's scored loads...
This will surely trigger a flurry of exciting activity......or a McFlurry 'o' speculative shite.
Cole....surely not.
Sorry Harry I swear I'll photograph that print and get it to you v soon!!!
Reply to TMWNN:
Missing its anonymous Spurs fans...
Nice work Keith!
sorry to see Zok go . . but i'm sure i'll get over it
. .there you go . . . i'm over it
The funds raised by Zokora's sale will amount to approximately an arm and a leg of Cole, I conjecture. You could possibly throw in half of his head as well. That makes a very one-sided player.
I suppose we could buy that Boro bloke - the one that most of us don't want and who has a 'sweet' left foot. (Incidentally, has anyone ever had a sweet right foot, or are they all uniformly sweet by nature?) If we do, I'll be 'Not Waving But Downing'.
I need a new pair of pants as i have just shit through these ones after hearing seville have just paid spurs £8.65 million for zokora. Nice enough bloke but £8.65 million!!! well played levy
Reply to keith:
hi matey,
i have just shit my pants at hearing seville have paid spurs £8.65 million for zokora! if joe cole joins i will need another pair of pants!!!
Reply to 9__37:
i'd take one arm and one leg of cole over downer any day of the week!
Reply to adam1882:
Good business, but rumours abound that 75% of it has to be donated to London Borough of Haringey to finance the projected removal of guano desposited by returning pigeons on local homes and buildings.
Reply to 9__37:
Reply to adam1882:
even £7m ( The Sun ) is a damn good deal IMO.
then again, the transfer-fee-world has indeed gone mad !
makes you wonder how much we'll pay for Cole !! . .
possibly
i would have taken 4m plus a full time sniper to take out the returning pigeons
Christ, just woke up and see Zok is done. And for over 8million? Top, top work, Mr. Levy.
Now the dam is breached. Go spend it 'Arry!
Two things in life are now guaranteed.
1) Zokora will score on his debut for Sevilla.
2) A massive bid will come in from a Champions League Team for Sgt Wilson, fucking us up royally.
Reply to fatfish:
I'd say that's being optimistic. Hudd and JJ will each break a toe as well.
Reply to 9__37:
will you two cheer up
Reply to fatfish:
I'd cheer for 1)
Hari Kari for 2)
Reply to toddspur:
Ok. Hudd and JJ will each break a toe of a scum player (not the same player, though). How's that?
one down . .
taxi for Bent !!
Best of luck to Zokora, always put in a shift, if Huddlestone worked as hard as he did he'd be world class!
Joe Cole would be utterly fantastic. Wouldn't mind the under-rated Crouch either, not sure what more he can do to convince people apart from score regularly...hang on...he does! Just because he looks like a giraffe thats run into a few low branches, doesn't make him a bad footballer!
I would keep bale, i see this as a big season for him, and he can stake a claim for that LM role (not solid enough to be LB imo), moving Modric into an attacking midfield role.
Keep bentley too, he hasnt suddenly become shite footballer overnight, unluckily for him Lennon had a blinder. There's much more to come from him yet.
No need for a massive overhaul, 3 or 4 in max, O'Hara (bless him!), Jenas (split personality of excellence and shite!), and Bent can leave. Should be able to raise 20 mill from that lot, if you can get 500 notes for a 20p piece on eBay then...
Tickets came for Exeter vs Spurs pre season friendly yesterday, chuffed with that, hope they bring a decent side down, would've liked to have watched a new signing ideally! Grrrrrrr...
On a different note...really enjoying watching our boys milk the average Aussie bowling attack, long may it continue!
Reply to 9__37:
much better; just old fatfish to turnaround now
Reply to toddspur:
Ok, I'm trying hard....Here goes.
1) Zokora to blast one 40 yards over bar on Sevilla debut
2) A massive bid comes in from Citeh for Sgt Wilson and we get Dunne as part of the deal.
....Slips knotted silken rope over roof joist and loop around neck. Gently rocks chair until it falls away from under him.
Cole's purchase will be announced next week after he returns from his extended honeymoon. Shortly after we will announce Modrics sale to Roma and JJ's departure for Inter Milan.
Muntari is on his way back top the PL and he will be joining Spurs, if we can agree personal terms.
:a
What dis levey say we are not a selling club unless Harry says so .My concern is were is the money going if its dunneslowley or cattermolester then we are fucked and be we have no strengh in depth .If this and chimbonda and boteng is all thats going then thats okay we have good lads from the reserves and youth squad bostock can replace zokora long run no ending .
Cole needs to be playing regular football this season
who knows what formation Ancelotti will be playing in midefield, could be a regular at Chelsea
if not Spurs could do a lot worse IMO
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