The Blackburn Interview
Friday, 21 November 08, 12:04 PM · Comments (97)
A funny week. Funny peculiar, rather than funny haha. Not only did we beat the Hun soundly in his own front yard, but we returned from this forray 'sausage side' to revelations that there is trouble in paradise - or the Arse's dressing room anyway. Cashback.
William Gallas' identity crisis hit tilt as he decided to he couldn't save his William Wallace impression for the Emptycrates Multidedominational Non race Specific Party (formerly the Pagan Blood Sacrifice Chrimbo Bash).
Big Bad Bill told the Associated Press in Paris, "...there are things that can't be said and can't be tolerated.''
The only two things he was referring to there were obviously Van Pervert's first and last names...
My guess is his words will turn out to be prophetic.
Wenger will be reminding him who the actual manager of the team is and that Billiam should have kept his trap shut. Running off to the press and revealing that your team's dressing room has imploded is indeed ...intolerable."
"We are not brave enough in battle. I think we need to be soldiers. We have to be warriors," continued Billiam Wallace. "I have to win something this year. I have to win something, Arsenal has to win something...''
Somebody buy this imbecile some face paints and a Kinder Egg.
Or point another microphone at him. Funny hahahahahaha, after all.
******
Here's more speculation over Sunday's fixture with me in conversation with one of BRFC.com's top contributors, Phillip L.
HH: A game of two goal keepers. How happy have you been Robinson?
PL: Happier than you have been with Gomes recently I suspect. There have been a couple of clangers as he still is not brilliant at judging the "go, stay, oops" crosses into the box. However, his shot stopping has been superb and Scolari rightly singled him out as the difference between 0-2 and 0-7 when Chelsea came calling recently.
We were initially immensely impressed by the length and accuracy of his kicking but when you've got Jason Roberts trying to trap them, it all became it bit pointless and repetitive really.
Suffice to say we miss the reassuring sight of big Brad in goal but judging by Brad's Villa form I suspect we now have the better keeper and Robo being 100 years younger is a bit of a bonus as well.
HH: And can you see him getting his England shirt back anytime soon?
PL: Last man standing isn't it with the England keepers at present? I think it is inevitable he will get his chance on current form compared with the others and so he will have to make the most of it when it comes and watch those dodgy back passes. From what I have seen so far, I think he is England's number one again.
HH: What's your take on our latest media darling, the boy Gomes?
PL: Football is short of entertainers. I hear from inside your camp he is not the total car crash write off the rest of us believe so he might come good. I hope he gets another outing on Sunday.
HH: What's the deal wth Paul Ince. Is he a flailing, out of his depth, idiot?
PL: Yes.
Not impressed- he has divided the support between those going to Ewood to boo and those who have given up. We are grateful for Spurs/Ramos and now City/Hughes for keeping the Rovers off the back pages.
Joking apart, I am very seriously worried. Nothing would please me more than a stirring victory at the Lane heralding a long unbeaten run and a trip to Wembley with Ince the blue and white hero- but we live in the real world.
HH: If Ince were to go, who would be a 'sound' choice in the eyes of your average Blackburn fan?
PL: That's a good one. The fans have grown accustomed to top half finishes (three on the trot) and regular trips to humiliating exits in Europe. So in the summer we expected a bit of glamour and pizazz about the next appointment and knowing there had been contact with Advocaat (who hankers after having a go in the Prem) and Michael Laudrup describing our Chairman as the most knowledgeable and impressive raised hopes and expectations. Which to be honest didn't help Ince with the fans when we came down to earth with a bump.
Now it is all about making sure we are not the only debt-free club in the Championship next season so getting someone who looks to be a safe bet for avoiding relegation has got to be number one priority as we will be deeper in the mire by the time any change is made.
Despite the (in)famous Facebook campaign against Big Fat Sam which undoubtedly weighed in the Chairman's deliberations; I suspect this time there would be a majority of fans who would welcome Allardyce now. It also pains us to admit but our hated neighbours and the inbred relatives of Sam Dingle have a cracking good manager in Owen Coyle but think of Arsenal/Spurs and add the bleakness of the moors and you will get an idea of how well hiring the Burnley manager would go down in both towns.
Quite a few fans are watching the goings on at City with interest- most would be elated to see Sparky back and certainly there was an extremely warm and productive working relationship between John Williams (Chairman) and Mark Hughes.
But the real answer is that Roberto Mancinni is in London learning English because it is his lifelong dream to manage the Rovers...
HH: Some Spurs fans, me included,say we are crying out for a proper DM. Any glaringly obvious pieces missing from your own jigsaw puzzle?
PL: Jigsaw puzzle is an apt metaphor as the boss hasn't got the hang of the sky going at the top and ground at the bottom judging by the way he is forever playing people out of position.
Taking Bentley from us has wrecked us to be honest. Last season he had the highest number of crosses in the League and I think he was credited with 20 assists. Quite why Ince thinks Roque Santa Cruz can thrive in a team playing without proper wingers is beyond me but we are doing a nice little line in signing league 1 and 2 players.
HH: Where are your goals going to come from on Sunday?
PL: Gomes
HH: Between us we've kept only four clean sheets so far this season. What's the basketball score going to be?
PL: 0-0 if Robinson has a blinder. 4-1 to you wouldn't be a surprise.
HH: THFC are blush resistant. Shameless marketing ploys and money spinners seem to be their forte. Do you release DVDs of games you draw?
PL: What's a DVD?
HH: The last transfer window was painful for us. Do you have anyone special 'earmarked' for January?
PL: Macclesfield's centre forward and MK Dons' keeper. Much as I wish I were, I am not joking.
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Always nice to know that however bad we may be feeling about Spurs at any given time, there are always clubs worse off. Do have some sympathy for a team that has won the Premier League and now find themselves in the 'probably wont go down, probably wont make europe' group. Do hope we smash em up Sunday tho
#ucking hillaious 
"what's a DVD?" buying third rate cheap as chips players from league one. Hmm, It just goes to show when the recession hits it's the Northerners who get it the worst.
Don't let a little self-depreciating humor obfuscate the facts: we need to win this one !!!! There will be no excuses if we fail to gat 3 points on Sunday. We will be right back to the doom and gloom days of before 'arry! We won't be laughing when The Guv'nor is coaching the Lilleywhites in the Championship, will we now!!!!! Just imagine a year from now and those blue and white folks from Lancashire are rooting for us to beat Burnley away at Turf Moor(not pretty is it).
I'm serious!
COYS!!!!!!!!!
Great stuff. You KNOW that Robinson will have an absolute blinder on Sunday though.
...the new frank lampard..seems to score every week..
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Thank you. That made me giggle out loud many times in a boring open plan office.
i almost like him, still i can hate him for 2 hours on saturday and then go back to liking him again, can't I?