Three Wise Men Caption Competition
Friday, 05 December 08, 12:43 PM · Comments (70)
Have you noticed the seasonal themes emerging as we edge our way toward's Christmas? No coincidence friends. You're dealing with the Creme de Menthe of Blogger's here y'know.
Whilst this is a competition I must stress there is no actual prize other than knowing that you are the funniest Yid on the block. It's an esteem thing. Terms and conditions apply. The judge's decision is probably final. Your home may be at risk should you go out for the day without closing any of the doors or windows.
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"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 17 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
-
"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 7 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
70 Comments · Add yours
Tim: You not get the call on the grey scarf then , Arry?
Arry: I 'ad a drop of Gold Watch earlier. That keeps the chill off me.
sherwood in a forest of les miserables
Arry: "The Chairman's trying to cut costs again, the tight git, now we have to share the same seat with this little girl, move over love...Oi, Les keep your hands to your self this time mate."
Tim: "yeah Les you bloody arse grabber!"
Arry Sherwood like Les close Games
Les: "What do you care Timbo! You don't even watch the team play, who do you support anyway?"
Little Girl: "Shut up you C*nts!"
How much for a hot dog??
Arry: "Lad's I'd like to introduce you to Trish, aged 9, the brains behind the late great Damion Camoli!"
We're looking for Modric. Anyone seen him?
Sherwood you muppet, you forgot the myhrr
Oi les, are you sure this is the way to Glenn's house?
Harry to Joe Jordan (off camera) Oi Joe do you like you fucking scarf you muppet, they were 3 for 2 at Geogre.
right boys semi spots in the bag, do have a faces in watford?
sherwood: i'm telling you, tickets say X4 to X6
redknapp: well this is row F by the look of it, i can't see a row X...
ferdinand: why are there so many hull kingston rovers shirts in the crowd ?
redknapp: christ! back to the car, quick...
Tim Sherwood: Peanutttsss
Harry 'You're in my f-ing seat you muppet, get out now'.
Les 'what you looking at jibber jabber'.
Tim thinks 'that Led fella has some rear end on him'.
Arry: Les give us a hand, I've got my tackle caught my zip again! Cheap Puma rubish!
Harry to Sir Les: "You've got your work cut out teaching that Zokora how to hit the target. Rather you than me mate."
Reply to RJ1882:
Harry 'You're in my f-ing seat you muppet, get out now'.
Les 'what you looking at jibber jabber'.
Tim thinks 'that Les fella has some rear end on him'.
Harry to Sir Les and Sherwood: "'ow come you 2 muppets have got a bald bloke resting on your shoulders?"
Sir Les: "He's with Tim, Guv"
Sherwood: "Oh no he isn't"
Sir Les: "Oh yes he is"
Repeat to fade. Ahem.
Harry: "Where's the fucking baby then?"
Sir Les: "It's ok, I gave him to Gomes for safe keeping"
All: "Oh fuck!!!"
Harry : Don't worry lads I'll see if you can have a nice track suit top....
Tim : Sorry Harry but we had to go to a funeral before we came.
Harry : Yeah I hear they had one here before I arrived......Excuse me luv do you know where Danny Levy has gone.
Harry: Do we have anyone on the bench to replace Bale, cos we are losing again!?!?!
Were's this Harry Hotspur chap then?
Is he in this row? Giving my players low ratings. Dear oh dear, I'll have him. Les, back me up.
Tim: "I think you've sat in something , Les".
Thats the geezer I was telling you about up the back with the square noggin, Cappello or somethink like that. He's triffic never misses target with edders...... and the price is right my sons.
Harry: You lads are not going to believe this, Its WITCHCRAFT I'm telling you, Not a bleedin' wire in sight.
Les: Yes Harry we've all seen your Nintendo Wii.. Can we please just watch the game?
"Does anyone else want a job on the coaching sttaff ?"
Aside from the obvious fact that this well worked site deserves better than the sad, right before bed, tired old quips it's been getting from me recently, I'd just like to take this oportunity to say that if we get dun by de ammers on mundee I'll start thinking more seriously about relegation than an even outside attempt at a Uefa cup spot.
It's almost getting ugly again.
Night
"Run, Didier, run!"
Les to Harry: 'shhh oi, shhhhh don't look round now, but there's a guy with half a face about 3 rows up from us.. he's next to the guy in the gooners hat.........figures'
Sherwood: 'TIMMMMI!"
Sherwood: "this is the last fucking time Harry".
Les: "that's right mate....if you don't keep the fucking string on your gloves again Harry we're not helping you look for them next time".
Harry: yeah.....but have you tried to put your fucking coat on with that fucking string running inside your sleeves....bloody Norah.
1:0 watford lets get the fuck out of here before it gets worse
So it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him. Oh, and him as well..!!!
los es que es que paso es tu es el hombre DDV
Somehow, we all knew that's the one you'd think was classy.
Don't ask me how.
Someone in that picture has just the worst side profile of all time.
Tim: So, Boss Why DID you employ us then?
Harry: Weeeellll, It's a long drive in from the South Coast and Les has a Helicopter. Whereas you... It stops you talking shit about us on Setanta, don't it.
Reply to Nunchucks:
If you mean the bloke on the far right just in the picutre, that's "Big Vern" from Viz. He ain't doin' naaa time fer naaa caant!!!!
Harry: Alright, babes. I brought you some frankincense for the nipper.
Ferdy: And some myrrh.
Sherwood: And two turtle doves.
Harry: You see Tim, this is exactly why no one wants to work with you.
Harry: 'Scuse me love, we're looking for Dara O'Brain'
Harry: 'Scuse me love, can Arron borrow your daughters gloves... his hands are cold'
Reply to Blanchflower:
and I thought that was Freddie SHEPHERD.
Sorry
HH - Turnaround,
TS - Every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
HH - Turnaround,
LF - Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
HH - Turnaround,
TS - Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
HH - Turnaround,
LF - Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
HH - Turnaround, bright eyes,
TS - Every now and then I fall apart
HH - Turnaround, bright eyes,
LF - Every now and then I fall apart
HH - And I need you Monday night
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll get us a win Monday night
We'll be staying up forever
Harry: right, which one of you 2 muppets farted?
Sir Les: It weren't me boss.
Tim: It was me. We used to do it all the time at Setanta which is why we used to talk a load of shit.
Harry: For that reason, I'm out.
Do I win?
Reply to DANNYBOY:
god no!!
Burnley in the cup anyone??
would have prefered Derby myself but no complaints all the same..
You still ain't changed your preposterous moniker then? Burmley will be interesting; I hear they have a nice range of outdoor pursuit holiday accomodation and sheep
Anyway, that's next years game. Bring on the spammers Monday. Harry has never lost there in 8 visits as a visiting manager don't you know.
COYS
i think we can look forward to a nice 'friendly' tete-a-tete with that Bulgarian lad in Wembley next February.. that'll be interesting..
ya bring on West Ham.. i hate waiting around a whole weekend for a game.. it better be worth waiting for..
a 1-0 win with Bent scoring another poxy goal with his arse will suffice however..
les- harry what's this cunt sherwood doing here
harry- the redknapps got too much money in that poncy magazine...plus he's fucking good on the wi.. come xmas time
burnley in the league cup...should be a good couple of games and hopefully a final in feb...something to look forward to in this shit season we are having..
TS - Les, can i have a jelly baby?
LF - No fuck off you gobshite
TS - Harry, Les is being horrible again
HR - Tim, ive told you before you orrible little cunt, you are only allowed to speak if it all goes tits up and me and sir les do a runner. In a nutshell my little shower of bastards, you are the Commolli to my Jol- now shut it you little shit.
SBP might by back in the market in Jan i say put in a cheeky 10m and watch the black sheep return to the flock
nice to see the barcodes messed it up again, god i hope they go down
you must all be watching that dancing or singing shit on the tele, so i'll talk to myself
Reply to paulhasissues:
those are the worst caption compo entries yet.
get a grip paul
Watch out Harry big Martin Jol's behind you
Shrek misses Manure's game with us because of suspension. That means the shifty-looking East European is bound to play. Excellent (a la Mr Burns, of course).
Reply to Tony_Spursano:
WINNER.
agree HH, total eclipse links in with my Heroes addiction nicely.. on an alternative but poignant note, can we please sign Michael Owen in the January Finestre. The lad is creaming his pants at the thought of being fed by Modders and supported by the suppercallifragillisticromanpavluychenko. no?
no.
TS: "Is that the Christmas bonuses in your pocket, 'Arry, or are you just 'appy to see that girl's Mum?"
Reply to TMWNN:
short and sweet, appreciate it !
TS - Sorry 'Arry, it just slipped out.
LF [mumbling under his breath] - Dirty pikey c*nt.
Out of focus bald geezer (OOFBG) - Fu*k off out of our end you yid cu*ts.
Little girl - this midfield stinks worse than the lucky heather seller's arse.
Harry [all jerky headed like] - Fuck me, what have I done?
Reply to thedrb:
I rate Owen, but we might as well try and change Anderton's mind.
Timbo: At least Zakora had a shot on goal...my coaching is paying off.
'Arry: Shot...! We're behind our f*ckin' goal...Oi little girl go and get us the ball and you can play next week!
Sir Les: Feckin' midfield cnuts!!!! BTW I make this scarf look cool timbo...you look as cool as Mclaren with his brolly!
Sir Les to Harry
I think we are getting Frank Incense for xmas
Harry
he plays left side for Lyon doen't he
FIX
Reply to Nunchucks:
Brilliant.
So according to papers we've all but completed the signing of Downing because Woodgate's convinced him to come! But more bizarrely, Robbie Keane could be coming back for around 20mil?!?
Probably utter horse shit, SSN were reporting it.