Two UEFA Cup Winning Midfielders

Just tried calling and kept on getting through to "Lucious Luanda" from the Ukraine, who offered me considerably more than the £5 per minute charge.

Has Paul Coates had a sex change

Harry,
Is Ralph Coates still in possession of his flowing comb-over locks. I remember them well, following him around as he charged forward. A recent reminder was Donald Trump's deranged appearance in that speedboat scene. Once arranged, it looked like a wierd walnut whip.

On an even lighter note:
Sarah Palin has a son named Track.
So called because he was born during the athletics season??.
Her daughter's name is Bristol.
Can somebody please tell me when it's the titty season

I will always have the memory of ralph's winning goal celebration in the League cup... poor sod had no idea what to do so ends up doing what looks like a four year old pretending to ride a horse routine cantering up to the touchline with the rest of the team too embarrassed to go over and join in!!

strange thing as well.............can never eat a bowl of shredded wheat without thinking of Ralph...cant think why!!

I'm sure Jamiespurs favourite lunchtime namedrop, Gregor Fisher, based The Baldyman on him and Bobby Charlton.

Ralph used whip the first row with his come-over. But i think he suits that better Gerry Francis' fat face and mullet.

Ralph used to whip the first row with his come-over. But i think he suits that better than Gerry Francis' fat face and mullet.

ralph coates taught me to play football when i was 10

...comb-over included

They'll be great value. I met both these two at the lane a few years ago and they were full of stories like Big Chivs first match back from injury. The big man scored but that didn't stop Bill Nick having a go at him so then Mullers has a go at the Boss for attacking poor Martin.

Reply to billybigspud:

Harry,
Is Ralph Coates still in possession of his flowing comb-over locks. I remember them well, following him around as he charged forward. A recent reminder was Donald Trump's deranged appearance in that speedboat scene. Once arranged, it looked like a wierd walnut whip.

I am able to provide my highly esteemed readers with this folical update.

LINK

He's still keeping his head warm, and lashing bystanders on windy days. In other news, THFC Gilrs Football Development Officer Karen Hills has been caught soiling her her trendy new designer jeans

8th pic down.

Revealed to be an exhumed tailor's dummy - only when the child moved away....

LINK&hl

hope no-one else has done this yet...

Vote for Harry...here

LINK

Reply to HarryHotspur:

8th pic down.

Revealed to be an exhumed tailor's dummy - only when the child moved away....

LINK&hl

Harry.
I’m drenched in nostalgia and a yearning for a Lane that time forgot.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a committed pessimist and eternal optimist as any battle worn Yid needs to be, but in these times of credit crunches and Jamie Oliver it warms my cockles to take a trip back to a time when (surely) life was a more simple road to travel…?

Reply to chiversmetimbers:

hope no-one else has done this yet...

Vote for Harry...here

LINK

Fantastico. Thank you!

we must bound on fellas. When Hutton is back Spurs will be back for a 15th place finish! Am I wrong?

Hutton has steel. We need a Jock in the mix. Someone who's prepared to get stuck in...

Reply to HarryHotspur:

Hutton has steel. We need a Jock in the mix. Someone who's prepared to get stuck in...

a modern day Dave McKay

I heard your interview today. You made the best of crooked situation

Reply to BruceCastle:

I heard your interview today. You made the best of crooked situation

You're kind. I rambled. I always do given the chance

i agreed with your appraisal. The interviewer and his side kick have such an obvious bias. What do they really know about N. London football anyway?

Reply to BruceCastle:

i agreed with your appraisal. The interviewer and his side kick have such an obvious bias. What do they really know about N. London football anyway?

Good point.

Precisely why I had the pair of them cut afterwards.

snip

Reply to HarryHotspur:

Reply to billybigspud:

Harry,
Is Ralph Coates still in possession of his flowing comb-over locks. I remember them well, following him around as he charged forward. A recent reminder was Donald Trump's deranged appearance in that speedboat scene. Once arranged, it looked like a wierd walnut whip.

I am able to provide my highly esteemed readers with this folical update.
...

A veritable triumph of hope over reality. You have to wonder if he uses a comb in the morning or a f*cking macrame needle. Good old Ralphy, brightened up my day.

i have heard that the ball is slightly larger and lighter this season, i feel this may be a contributer to our bad start to the season

I have been wondering the same thing Mellons. Its the only reason I can think why such a talented squad are playing like such complete and utter cuntfuckers.

What's the bed vibe and sad demeanour? Your where you fucking belong.

Reply to Anton:

What's the bed vibe and sad demeanour? Your where you fucking belong.

Gooner in the house?

no just a knob

You lot are fucking mad. We're bottom of the league, have no real strikers, no fight in the team, probably no hope with the current management and yet you're still treating HH's site as a not so comedic platform. ?


Keep the faith fellas, we're in this together.

BIOYC!

Nah mate its all over, we're fucked.

We're going down quicker than a ropey brass on a Saturday night.

Lighter & lighter footballs, the play-offs, the new offside/notoffside rule, runaway wages, runaway ticket prices, two bob shirts for 40 squid, 40 quid membership for the privilege of getting in the que for a ticket, downmarket food @ upmarket prices, ever shifting matchdays, the proposed 39th game, premium rate club numbers, paid-for superclub success, stirring agents etc... are just some of the reasons for the rapidly widening gap between me and my favourite pastime. Funny how the worse my club is doing, the less opaque football's ugly side becomes.

Pastime.

Now there's a word.

Reply to YAG:

Nah mate its all over, we're fucked.

We're going down quicker than a ropey brass on a Saturday night.

I was playing devil's advocate, hoping for some positivity.

Reply to merkypast:

Lighter & lighter footballs, the play-offs, the new offside/notoffside rule, runaway wages, runaway ticket prices, two bob shirts for 40 squid, 40 quid membership for the privilege of getting in the que for a ticket, downmarket food @ upmarket prices, ever shifting matchdays, the proposed...

My sentiments exactly.

Reply to TMWNN:

Reply to YAG:

Nah mate its all over, we're fucked.

We're going down quicker than a ropey brass on a Saturday night.

I was playing devil's advocate, hoping for some positivity.

We've got whats been coming to us for so long. All our bullshit about 'this is our year for the top 4' - we are a laughing stock.

The one time we got close, we couldnt even keep our arses off the toilets for 90 minutes to seal the deal.

Legendz in da house.

Muppets who play for us now make me want to return my season ticket. Levy must go - selling our best players season after season. And now we're a laughing stock.

Too true, but can you hate them?

I try, but it never lasts long.

Wankers.

Reply to TMWNN:

Too true, but can you hate them?

I try, but it never lasts long.

Wankers.

Nah Levys not the problem. It all started when Campbell left. I said to my mate that day, this is the beginning of the end.

this is the best weekend we've had in ages - at least we haven't been able to drop points

Reply to Mumpfy:

this is the best weekend we've had in ages - at least we haven't been able to drop points

I think we should give up on the league and focus the attentions on the Carling Cup again.

I just cant possibly imagine how we can hope to save ourselves in the league with our Subbuteo-sized (and skilled) midfield, and powder puff strikeforce.

Reply to YAG:

Reply to TMWNN:

Too true, but can you hate them?

I try, but it never lasts long.

Wankers.

Nah Levys not the problem. It all started when Campbell left. I said to my mate that day, this is the beginning of the end.

Exactly what I thought. If we could swallow our pride and get big Sol back to sort out the defense, then it would be a start at least.

He's still quality and he'd only cost, what, a mil, 2 mil at the most?

Reply to LettuceBoy:

Reply to YAG:

Reply to TMWNN:

Too true, but can you hate them?

I try, but it never lasts long.

Wankers.

Nah Levys not the problem. It all started when Campbell left. I said to my mate that day, this is the beginning of the end.

Exactly what I thought. If we could swallow our pride and get big Sol back to sort out the defense, then it would be a start at least.

He's still quality and he'd only cost, what, a mil, 2 mil at the most?

Please tell me you're on a wind up.

bentley is an overated goon prick, he has supported them all his life. get rid of him and get a goal scorer like heskey

Reply to mellons:

bentley is an overated goon prick, he has supported them all his life. get rid of him and get a goal scorer like heskey

TMWNN

Why, on nearly every spurs site, that is the kind of reaction you get?

Closed minded you are, bet you were one of those chanting at him against pompey.

Have you seen the state of our defence? I'm just saying, a cmil and we'd have a fantastic backup for leds and woody, and someone who could impart some knowledge and experience, not only on the pitch, but on the training ground.

Jeez.

knowledge of how to fuck off and leave the club in the lurch


mind you i can think of a few people who should fuck off and leave

Reply to YAG:

Reply to TMWNN:

Too true, but can you hate them?

I try, but it never lasts long.

Wankers.

Nah Levys not the problem. It all started when Campbell left. I said to my mate that day, this is the beginning of the end.

Mmmmm you sure wern't world beaters before Campbell, when he was there or after from what I recall.

Reply to Anton:

Reply to YAG:

Reply to TMWNN:

Too true, but can you hate them?

I try, but it never lasts long.

Wankers.

Nah Levys not the problem. It all started when Campbell left. I said to my mate that day, this is the beginning of the end.

Mmmmm you sure wern't world beaters before Campbell, when he was there or after from what I recall.

We werent worldbeaters yet.....We were a club on the up though. Out younger players were the envy of all other clubs, we had Graham as our manager (who was NEVER given a fair crack of the whip) and were heading onwards and upwards. But then Graham left, Campbell left that summer, and the Gods stopped smiling upon us at that point.

PS Can someone ban this Goon Scum?

Reply to Mumpfy:

knowledge of how to fuck off and leave the club in the lurch


mind you i can think of a few people who should fuck off and leave

Who would you ship out Mumphy?

I'd start with telling jenas to sling his hook, then I'd tell huddlestone to slide on to fuck as well - the boy makes Sloth from the goonies look like johnny depp.

Reply to LettuceBoy:

TMWNN

Why, on nearly every spurs site, that is the kind of reaction you get?

Closed minded you are, bet you were one of those chanting at him against pompey.

Have you seen the state of our defence? I'm just saying, a cmil and we'd have a fantastic backup...

Closed minded? You cheeky cunt.

Go to bed before I get my mate Ginge to give you a proper verbal slapping.

Our George disgraced himself going over to the lane, never will forgive him. But still, keeping up true spud club management, you went and fired your best manager in years.

Reply to LettuceBoy:

TMWNN

Why, on nearly every spurs site, that is the kind of reaction you get?

Closed minded you are, bet you were one of those chanting at him against pompey.

Have you seen the state of our defence? I'm just saying, a cmil and we'd have a fantastic backup...

Who the f*ck are you calling closed minded.

Ive supported Spurs through the good times - 2 League cups, UEFA cup runs, FA Cup Semi Finals. The good times couldnt last for ever, and now we're in a slide downhill.

Nows the time for support. As Delia might say - 'LETS BE AVVING YA'

Reply to TMWNN:

Reply to LettuceBoy:

TMWNN

Why, on nearly every spurs site, that is the kind of reaction you get?

Closed minded you are, bet you were one of those chanting at him against pompey.

Have you seen the state of our defence? I'm just saying, a cmil and we'd have a fantastic backup...

Closed minded? You cheeky cunt.

Go to bed before I get my mate Ginge to give you a proper verbal slapping.

Verbal Slapping?

If he's called 'Ginge' then I've won any deabte that would be forthcoming, so we can forego the slagging match.

Aaron fucking Lennon. oh how we laughed and chanted his name at the paedophile's latest 'prodigy'. Jokes' on us now.

'Ive supported Spurs through the good times - 2 League cups, UEFA cup runs, FA Cup Semi Finals.'

Another one with the sarcasm.

Juande Ramos. Bring Jol back. Or ditch Levy and find a billionaireto fund mourinho. oh and Bentley - exactly how long does he need to adapt to life in the premier league?

Reply to LettuceBoy:

Reply to TMWNN:

Reply to LettuceBoy:

TMWNN

Why, on nearly every spurs site, that is the kind of reaction you get?

Closed minded you are, bet you were one of those chanting at him against pompey.

Have you seen the state of our defence? I'm just saying, a cmil and we'd have a fantastic backup...

Closed minded? You cheeky cunt.

Go to bed before I get my mate Ginge to give you a proper verbal slapping.

Verbal Slapping?

If he's called 'Ginge' then I've won any deabte that would be forthcoming, so we can forego the slagging match.

You're probably right. Ginge

I dunno if I'm with you on Lennon mumphy - poor first touch, lacking in game awareness and appreciation of a pass, inconsistent,and needs to stop shaving bits of his eyebrows off, but if he can sort that out we have a potential player on our hands.

I'd defo get zokora out. Ivorian shitbag. wenger wouldn't pay the money, we all know why now...

Reply to Mumpfy:

Juande Ramos. Bring Jol back. Or ditch Levy and find a billionaireto fund mourinho. oh and Bentley - exactly how long does he need to adapt to life in the premier league?

Shut up!

Fuck sake, I'm a longtime lurker and even longer time suffering spurs fan. We have still got a fantastic squad, Lennon, Jenas, Bent, Zakora and especially Modric - all world class players, but low in confidence. I've have football in over 42 years and Modric on his day, pisses all over the spainiard goon cunt.

We need to sort out our staff, we shouldn't have sold Robbo, he was a rock at the back and an inspiration for the defence. It hurts me to say this, but I really wouln't mind seeing Sol return - he knows the club and this is his real home, he will bring CL experience and help the lads.

oh and gomes. wtf.

Reply to LettuceBoy:

I dunno if I'm with you on Lennon mumphy - poor first touch, lacking in game awareness and appreciation of a pass, inconsistent,and needs to stop shaving bits of his eyebrows off, but if he can sort that out we have a potential player on our hands.

I'd defo get zokora out. Ivorian...

Wots wenger got to do with it. Fuck him. At least if we do go down, we have an English soul to fight our way back with, not like Francenal.

I know, got nothing to do with him the mire that we're in, just pissed off.

at least we're not a bunch of dirty cheating cocksuckers

i stil hate that sleazebag pires

Look, I dont know why we;re fighting amongst ourselves here, we're in the shit, big time, and we need to stick together.

Lets all hold hands, look to the skies above and shout, COYS. Fuck the others, we are THFC, and always will be.

That fucking frog still winds me up, at least he didn't score against us in the League Cup though, the cunt never did that did he.

Reply to YAG:

Look, I dont know why we;re fighting amongst ourselves here, we're in the shit, big time, and we need to stick together.

Lets all hold hands, look to the skies above and shout, COYS. Fuck the others, we are THFC, and always will be.

Yeah!

ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL!!!

who was worse, Pires or Henry

arrogant pricks both, i know

Reply to 1961:

That fucking frog still winds me up, at least he didn't score against us in the League Cup though, the cunt never did that did he.

Yeah, the cunt always scored massive massive goals against us, in massive massive games.

The cunt.

Reply to LettuceBoy:

Reply to YAG:

Look, I dont know why we;re fighting amongst ourselves here, we're in the shit, big time, and we need to stick together.

Lets all hold hands, look to the skies above and shout, COYS. Fuck the others, we are THFC, and always will be.

Yeah!

ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL!!!

Amen brother!

'Lets all hold hands, look to the skies above and shout, COYS. Fuck the others, we are THFC, and always will be.'

I'm feeling the love.

Reply to TMWNN:

'Lets all hold hands, look to the skies above and shout, COYS. Fuck the others, we are THFC, and always will be.'

I'm feeling the love.

Its how its gotta be bruv. Fuck em all, we are who we are, and Im proud of it.

Right now I'm listening to some good vibe music stuff like Radioplay and Genesis to ease the pain of seeing us in a place we have no business being. I wish we could all do 1 big spurs hug like we used to do in the old days before a big match.

Henry was worse because he was fucking immense.

In the Nightingale and the Rose, Oscar Wilde asked "on what little things does happiness depend!"

He was referring to the pain, duress and heartbreak endured by a young student who needed/wanted to get 1 red rose in order to impress a professor's daughter.

As it turned out, the professor's daughter was a horrible woman - racist, homophobic, and generally a nasty piece of work. She didn't deserve the rose that was only secured through the agonising and needless death of a lovely nightingale;

he should've just written a request for fellatio and a good old shag on the back of a post-it note, and shoved it down her blouse.

Anyway, goodnight.

Goodnight spursfriends. TO DARE IS DO

Good night Jim-Bob

innit bruv

Not much chance of that unless your mum lets you out on your own now.

How is it homophobic? Its a staement of fact, he didn't disparage you for BEING gay, he just stated you are a "fucking gay boy"

Dry your eyes.

Roll on next Sunday, eh?

Am I alone in thinking that the England game was the worst 5-1 win I've ever seen. For the first 70 mins. I thought it was a Spurs game. Lots of square passing across the back 4 and midfield, no penetration, the occassional foray down the wings that fizzled out. I swear that at one stage Barry started to spin round, in a Zokora impression, when he received the ball. They even got an own goal like ours against Wisla. Perhaps we'll win 5-1 against Stoke, only we've no Rooney and Bentley ain't crossing like Becks?.

The only crossing I'd say Bentley is good at is cross dressing, the fucking poof. £18 million for that?

Talk about fucking seeing us coming.

Tony Jimenez to replace Camolli? Supposedly he's a freind of Wendy's, but his track record at Newcastle is worrying. Maybe he'll bring Owen witn him on a free in Januay?

Reply to LettuceBoy:

The only crossing I'd say Bentley is good at is cross dressing, the fucking poof. £18 million for that?

Talk about fucking seeing us coming.

Lettuce, you're obviously covered in French dressing. The polecat smell of you and your goon pals is all over our site, now Harry's gonna have to get out the disinfectant.
DO ONE.

Reply to billybigspud:

Am I alone in thinking that the England game was the worst 5-1 win I've ever seen. For the first 70 mins. I thought it was a Spurs game. Lots of square passing across the back 4 and midfield, no penetration, the occassional foray down the wings that fizzled out. I swear that at one stage Barry...

You're certainly virtually alone in making a good post in the last few hours I watched the game and was actually more interested in the first half which was pretty dull by any standards.

As the goals went in I increasingly lost interest. Mind you I was having pints with great company so maybe it wasn't all Engerland's fault.

And again there appears to be an element who are determined to boo at the earliest / and or any given opportunity.

Tsk tsk... just don't get it.

And it seems the policemen are getting younger...

Reply to BruceCastle:

Tony Jimenez to replace Camolli? Supposedly he's a freind of Wendy's, but his track record at Newcastle is worrying. Maybe he'll bring Owen witn him on a free in Januay?

Brucie,
I hope we don't get another DOF, but owen and maybe N'Zogbia (on form) would be good signings imo. With our luck, we'd get Ameobi and Duff.

Reply to HarryHotspur:

Reply to billybigspud:

Am I alone in thinking that the England game was the worst 5-1 win I've ever seen. For the first 70 mins. I thought it was a Spurs game. Lots of square passing across the back 4 and midfield, no penetration, the occassional foray down the wings that fizzled out. I swear that at one stage Barry...

You're certainly virtually alone in making a good post in the last few hours I watched the game and was actually more interested in the first half which was pretty dull by any standards.

As the goals went in I increasingly lost interest. Mind you I was having pints with great...

Harry,
I'm almost inclined to forgive the booing on the grounds that it was Ashley Cole and an appalling pass.
Your beer goggles seem to be working in reverse. The only way to cure that is practice.

Yes it was Cole...a very easy player to boo, aside from his obvious goonerish history he has typified the fancy dan couldn't give a monkeys atitude of many top players. Now the F.A. are coming out saying fan's who boo are "crazy"...what next? are they are gonna say that Cashley has a right to a harrasment free workplace and ban them for life!...do me a favour. When an experienced International defender makes a schoolboy error like that he can bloody well expect some stick from the fans..we expect better and infact we demand better!

Chiv,
The fact that Cole is young, handsome, fit, talented and rich, and that he goes home to roger the arse off Cheryl has nothing at all to do with my bitter and twisted attitude.

Cheryl boos him in the bedroom and it has undermined his confidence on the pitch

Reply to billybigspud:

Reply to BruceCastle:

Tony Jimenez to replace Camolli? Supposedly he's a freind of Wendy's, but his track record at Newcastle is worrying. Maybe he'll bring Owen witn him on a free in Januay?

Brucie,
I hope we don't get another DOF, but owen and maybe N'Zogbia (on form) would be good signings imo. With our luck, we'd get Ameobi and Duff.

knowing our luck the deal would include Dennis Wise

I had to laugh at these Comolli quotes:

"We share the responsibilities and I'm sure we'll turn it around".

Translation: I'm sharing the blame and praying things improve.

He goes on to say: "We need stability. We don't need change. We need to get results".

I presume this was said without any trace of irony. I would largely blame Comolli for all of the above promlems not just at this juncture but for the same issues same time last year.


Levy needs to do the deed as soon as.

"The night before Scotland played Spain in 1963, a talented squad sat in the Bernabéu watching Spain's training session. After 10 minutes they were looking at each other in disbelief and ruefully muttering expletives.

The target of their cursing was a move being practised by Juventus's Luis del Sol, who hit five corners in succession with the outside of his foot. Each cross was met by Real Madrid's great winger Francisco Gento, who ran into the box as fast as the Road Runner, dived forward, executed a perfect hand-spring and belted the ball past the goalkeeper with both his heels. They knew the Scotland players were watching and put on a show of such discipline, skill and arrogance that the Scots assumed, according to Frank McLintock, that it was "largely to make us crap our pants".

An hour before kick-off the following day, both teams were milling around on the pitch when Jim Baxter decided to show them not all British footballers were clod-kicking mugs. "We all knew Dave Mackay's party piece," says McLintock, "and Baxter decided now was the right time to unveil it. Jim called over to his injured captain and shouted, 'Hey Marquis, see if you can catch this!'"

With that he tossed a coin 15 feet up in the air and Mackay thrust out his right leg, bent at the knee, and caught the coin on his toe. He stood there for a second then flipped it back up in the air, caught it on his forehead, knocked it back up and caught it in his left eye socket then rolled it down his shoulder into his open blazer pocket and waltzed off back to the dressing room to thunderous applause. Scotland won the match 6-2, a victory put down to Mackay's ability to fight Spain's psychological warfare in kind."

So what are you saying Harry? That before our next game the players do some pre match coin tricks instead of a warm up against stoke & udinese?

Do ya fink they'll be scared?

Maybe if Gomes does the three walnut shells & a pea switcheroo in the tunnel just before they come on to the field.......... It might freak the udinese captain out.

Worth a try.

Reply to el:

So what are you saying Harry? That before our next game the players do some pre match coin tricks instead of a warm up against stoke & udinese?

Do ya fink they'll be scared?

I propose a Twiddly Wink to the death.

Crouching Tiddler Hidden Winker.

We could lie Comolli's body in state in the foyer of the Megastore with a plastic disc on each eye.

Reply to HarryHotspur:

"The night before Scotland played Spain in 1963, a talented squad sat in the Bernabéu watching Spain's training session. After 10 minutes they were looking at each other in disbelief and ruefully muttering expletives.

The target of their cursing was a move being practised by...

I think we should let the hudd lose before the game's with a few big mac's that should frighten any opposition.

Mr Veruka,

"I think we should let the hudd lose before the game".

Shouldn't that read 'loose'?

Your freudian slip is showing.

Reply to el:

Mr Veruka,

"I think we should let the hudd lose before the game".

Shouldn't that read 'loose'?

Your freudian slip is showing.

Let's get Alan Hutton working on the Psyops while he's on the mend. He is the right man for the job.

Yeah, let's do a Jakob's Ladder on the stoke boys. LSD in the pre match meal. Have you ever seen a striker trying to put one past what he thinks is a real octopus?

They won't know what's hit em.