I refer our course to this afternoon's clash between Tottingham Hotspur and our onetime/sometime arch rivals, The Woolwich Wanderers. Not a place where one sends naughty Egyptians.

The prematch prattle across the board would have you believe that this game entirely hinges upon the performances of Keane and Arshavin. Well that would suit me just fine as I would be surprised if their Russian plays.

Where the the game will hinge for me is how our defence responds. Minus the distraction of King, they should now be able to focus on working as a familiar unit. The benefit of this should reach Gomes too.

Woodgate seems to look more determind with each game. Dawsons form has returned. Corluka will have to be just little more prominent than he has been of late.  Assou Ekotto over Bale, please. If that occurs, and he has a good game, then we could well be in business.

Chimbonda must behave himself. Obviously, Arry sees the galloping gloved one's forays upfield as a good thing. Yes, I did notice his invaluable assist last time out. But if any Premier League firm are fast enough to break and take advantage of Pascal being in the wrong penalty area, it's The Ars*.

Bentley out will see Lennon in and with any luck he can replicate his best firefly impression and cause chaos. Two players who will need to get their combined acts together will be Zokora and Palacios. Ars*nal aren't Bolton and if they aren't contributing to the cause this afternoon will reveal that.

I'm still unconvinced as to Jenas's fitness, but hope that Arry communicates to Modders that we don't expect to be kept waiting until the 64th minute or similar for him to 'kick into gear'.

HH is indeedy the the gift that keeps on giving.

Like h*rpes? Please, that's a cheap jibe.

You know the drill by now. Snappy. Ridiculous. Brash. Borderline funny. This, I believe, may well prove to provide you 'orrible lot with more ammo than the pic of Dame Commoli with her thumb in the air. I said air, not heir. Ooh missus.

HH: We're adding a little something to this month's caption contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? 

HH: Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.

 Courtesy of unclerico1979

 I remember those cheers. They still ring in my ears

After years, they remain in my thoughts. 

Go to one night I took off my robe, and what'd I do? I forgot to wear shorts.

I recall every fall every hook, every jab

The worst way a guy can get rid of his flab.

As you know, my life wasn't drab.

Though I'd much... Though I'd rather hear you cheer

When you delve... Though I'd rather hear you cheer

When I delve into Shakespeare

"A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse", I haven't had a winner in six months.

And though I'm no Olivier If he fought Sugar Ray

He would say

That the thing ain't the ring, it's the play.

So give me a... stage

Where this bull here can rage 

And though I could fight I'd much rather recite

... that's entertainment.

Arsenal indoors then. This will be a genuinely fascinating game.

Keane's come out and said he couldda been a contender at Anfield. "I've never been left out of a squad in my career and to be left out is difficult,"

Well, there will be few better chances that the NLD for him to reply to all and sundry. 

This will also be Arry's opportunity to prove that he does know what he's doing and has put some guts back into this team.

The manager of the opposition team is apparently still deciding if he will play new signing, Andy  Smoothbum. Apparently the player has not played a game since the end of November and has only had ten days preparation prior to this match.

Without tempting providence, their real problems lie further up the field and it's really a question of who will they look to for goals. My hope is the only ones they see are on the Jumbotron courtesy of our own Russian. As in conversation with OleOle's Arseblogger earlier in the week, my hopes are pinned upon Keane developing a relationship as profitable as the one he struck with the rat faced Bulgarian who used to play for us.

My prediction is a 3-1( at around 100/1) to the Tottinghams. Two Pav goals in there would be nice.

Just how serious the situation may or may not be has yet to be confirmed.

But all the Spurs forums/message boards are rightly clucking over a reported significant foot injury.

What does appear to be the case is that he's 100% not travelling to Bolton.

What I will add is that sources at Manchester City and Blackburn a day or two ago were suggesting we are heavily in for Santa Cruz and an eye spinning figure of £20 million was being bandied about.

Will this be the window were we throw a blanket over someone, or just pop one over their lap?

 

Arry: Listen up Manuel, I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against the Pride Of North Londinium Town.
Rafa: There are a lot of long words in there, Senoir; we're naught but humble bin dippers. What is it that you want?
Arry: I want you to flog me Robbie Keane, son.
Rafa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. ....Means "no". 
Arry: This, SSN microphone. This, smack on head. [smacks Rafa on the head]

This window has been somewhat of a mixed cavort so far, if I might put it mildly. Increasingly, Defoe's return looks like a smart move. Westminster Palace, once his match bans and cup tiednessess subside, should add some neccessary oomph to our defence, come mid March. Cudicini was inspired. Appiah is having more trials than Mad Frankie Fraser.

And what of Pascal Chimbonda? He left after exhausting everyone's patience. And now returns like an eighth, uninvited gunslinger in the Magnificent Seven.

But if that one has you wondering. Let's talk about Keane.

Why? Well for one, he's not even deemed benchwarming material judging by Rafa's latest picks.

The boyhood dream has been an unmitigated disaster. If you recall, the People's Princess of Pundits, Lawro made a U Turn that was even darker than the Sean Penn film of the same name.

Now it emerges that his agent was spotted at The Lane last night. A football agent at a football match? Shurley shome mishtake. A doctor, in a hospital?

I'm looking for punchy, one liners here. Would you have him back? I wouldn't.

Cudicini 8 The business. Communicates, catches and copes.

Corluka 8 Some fancy footwork from a fantasic fullback.

A&E 7 Excellent defending, excellent attacking. 

Dawson 8 Committed. As in devoted. Not sectioned.

Woodgate 7.5 No nosense.

Lennon 7.5 Here is a man raising his game.

Bentley 8 Best game in the shirt yet. His detractors are incandescent. 

Zokora 7 She weeps as she cleans.

Modric 9 Like a man with a dose of the old Tia Maria. Everything went through him.

Pavyluchenko 8 Looking like a more amenable version of Berbatov.

Defoe 7.5 'All he did was make that assist and score'. Exactly what he's paid to do then.

Carlo Cudicini has signed on a free from some club in West London. The deal is provisionally for 18 months.

It is understood that like any good soldier fleeing from enemy clutches the Italian's papers are indeed in order, so it is more than likely he will feature in Tuesday's fixture against Stoke.

The guy kept 100 clean sheets and saved 6 out of 12 penalties at Second Hand Fridge and whilst he's unquestionably had to love in the shadow of Petr Cech, he is undoubtedly a top draw goalie. Not to mention  ITV 'Golden Gloves' Goal Keeper of the Year: 2003. How do you like them apples?

As per this CLICKLISHOUS  previousness on HH, the ever decreasing circles that are Tottenham Hotspur's transfer window activities appear at last to be really gathering some genuinely earnest backward momentum.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Pascal Chimbonda.

Archibald on Spurs Odyessy had, as per most erstwhile respected sources, a comparativley abysmal summer transfer window.  Facts is facts. In fairness, he did just shut up opposed to degenerating into 'We are 100% looking at a DM' , speak.

Let's hope that normal service has been resumed as he now says that the Mittened Monsieur is supposedly down for a monday medical.

So if Chimbonda is the answer... the what was the... yeah, precisely.

This story has had weight all along based upon his agent and Berbatov's both having eminated from a place (some might recall) so low, even the rats was hunchbacked. My guess, is a loan deal with wages notably in excess of his present drawings.

A mess?

Yes.

Are we trying to rectify it?

Probably.