An opportunity has arisen for one amongst our highly esteemed number to win a £1000.

For the remainder of this season, LG, the manufacturers of highly desirable tellys, mobiles and much else besides are running a competition HERE to find the best matchday snaps taken by fans.

What they're looking for is something that captures either a single moment or perhaps the mood of an entire day.

Perhaps Uncle George asleep on the train with chilli sauce down his scarf or your best mate being led away by Hampshire Constabulary. The images are only limited by your own imagination.

I've scanned through the terms and conditions and no purchase is required, nor does the image submitted have to taken using an LG product, so Box Brownies at the ready.

And while you're there, if you want to register on the site HERE, then that automatically puts you in another monthly draw to win an LG Renoir telephonic device.

In addition to this, I'm running a competition that's guaranteed make this one look even better...

A very similar deal, whereby you enter a defining matchday snap. Of which, I'll post the best entries here on HH. The winner of my tombola won't be announced until the end of this season.

What do I win H?

Be assured the yet to be confirmed prize will be shabby in comparason to LG's, not an insult mind you, but almost certainly borderline dissappointing.

I'll rustle up something you'll enjoy. I mean, as an opening bid, anyone would be pleased to see a complimentary all day breakfast served to them in the café of their choice, wouldn't they? 

There is undoubtedly a divide in the camp. Rightly so. Hell hath no fury like a Yiddo scorned. Ask Citizen Campbell's legal team, Barrymore, Barrymore, Grayson & Sons.

But where we are, my friends of the finest feather-age, is a place called Gointawar.  Turn left at Hadenough, second star on the right and straight on 'til morning.

Some of you belligerent schmucks wish Keane a career ending injury next time he plays. What can I say other than  - let's be men and chuffing well stick to the code [not so much code, as guidelines] which if you recall, state categorically that no player is bigger than the Club.

Look, I got so annoyed with the tink that I ran (courtesy of PLN) an unpixelated pic of him in his Range Rover.

Keane, for all his treacherous unpleasantness's didn't have to come back. It wasn't like he either a) needed the money or more obviously, b) couldn't get a gig anywhere else.

'I've been weighing up all your possible escape routes and returning to the bear pit looks favourite, Dougal.'

'Ahhh, c'mon Ted, seriously now.'  

Some no mark came on here recently and referred to my support of Keane as some call to arms jingoistic frontier-ism ....or similar. Bless her. And there endeth the blessings.

Well done Arry. Keane may have been discreetly smuggled in and out of Anfield, but not The Lane. PSB's appointment as captain is the most sensible thing I've heard in a long time.

"He can give an awful lot. He is a big personality and we are a quiet team. If Robbie has something to say, he is going to say it. He is a leader and has the personality to be a captain of Tottenham." said Redschnapps. What he failed to add is that Bob will also be ...on the pitch.

Can anyone explain to me what this business of Ledders' role as Club Captain is all about? Presenting big cardboard cheques to charities? Opening sports centres?

The sooner we bit the bullet on King the better it would be for all of us. We appear to have taken the first tentative nibble at long last, anyway.

We have sailed rudderless for a dog's age. The idea that some how this talismanic figure was having some effect from the third row of the dugout was embarrassing.

""I just felt with Robbie coming in, a fresh face, there would be a new impetus with him as captain." Translated, Arry couldn't make any sense of this King nonsense either.

There will be any number of wry smiles as the pointing and the shouting begins in earnest. But by Christ we need something. Keane has much to prove. And the rest of them need a leader - amongst other things.

Levy's played a blinder.

This window was always going to be horrible for a number of reasons. Spurs approached it from a position of weakness. The winter's fare is invariably less appetising than the summer's for starters. Plus the enormity of the task.

The team that won the Carling Cup was forcibly dismantled and it's ruins left languishing in and out of the drop zone.

Arry Redschnapp's appointment from The Master Guild Of Miracle Workers was heralded as a triumph. Well up until the point he revealed half our squad were a bunch of workshy, big girl's blouses.

How the hottest players in the world must have been queuing up to play for us.

What Levy has done is back Arry and funded the repair job. I say again, Levy's played a blinder. 'But he got us in this mess - he's only in it for the money!' Put down your lit torch, angry mob member and try embracing some actual facts.

Berbatov went on strike. Refused to play. A short while later, PSB poked his head out of his caravan window and announced, 'I've always been a Bindipper in me heart and all, roight'. How do you legislate for that?

What was Levy to do? You can't make them play. The suggestion that you  somehow Court Marshall players and put them in the reserves/under house arrest doesn't actually stack up in the real world.

Under siege from Sir Alex Of Tapup and some Car Coat in a sombrero shouting, 'I am job!' he netted several carrier bags full of used notes. There's no doubting we got 'interfered' with, but at a fierce financial cost to those responsible.

The Friends Reunited approach is easy to mock. The unprecedented often is. I can't hear a word you're saying anyway. The sound of a barrel being scraped is still ringing in my ears. Bellamy, Jones, Owen, Cole, Heskey....

Then there is the argument that Defoe and Keane can't play together. My reply to that is why need they? The issue of games where players are cup tied, the existence of Pav and Bent not to mention loss of form or juries will balance out what you want to masquerade as insummountable difficulties.

The last plea of those wanting to feel shortchanged is, why we didn't but Smoothbum instead?

NEWSFLASH. He didn't want to come. Players are people, not pieces of livestock.

In my comedy dealings with ZSP's director and Vlad the Rent An Agent in the summer it was clear that Tottenham were not favoured. What was the quote? (They thought I was Arry when he was still at Pompey.) 'If you see Andrei in a Tottenham shirt - I will eat it'. Players are people, not pieces of livestock.

Keane's return could be a revelation. His influence on the dressing room will be just what the Blogger ordered. No more of this farcical pass the captain's armband nonsense. Yes, he irritates on occasion. We all do. Don't you?

PSB has much egg on his face. He owes us and he knows it. His apology didn't cut it at all with me. But then words - especially his - aren't worth a w*nk with me. He knows what has to be done. Fight and win. That's his job.

Ours is to support.

www.studs-up.com

Just how serious the situation may or may not be has yet to be confirmed.

But all the Spurs forums/message boards are rightly clucking over a reported significant foot injury.

What does appear to be the case is that he's 100% not travelling to Bolton.

What I will add is that sources at Manchester City and Blackburn a day or two ago were suggesting we are heavily in for Santa Cruz and an eye spinning figure of £20 million was being bandied about.

Will this be the window were we throw a blanket over someone, or just pop one over their lap?

 

Arry: Listen up Manuel, I am here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against the Pride Of North Londinium Town.
Rafa: There are a lot of long words in there, Senoir; we're naught but humble bin dippers. What is it that you want?
Arry: I want you to flog me Robbie Keane, son.
Rafa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. ....Means "no". 
Arry: This, SSN microphone. This, smack on head. [smacks Rafa on the head]

This window has been somewhat of a mixed cavort so far, if I might put it mildly. Increasingly, Defoe's return looks like a smart move. Westminster Palace, once his match bans and cup tiednessess subside, should add some neccessary oomph to our defence, come mid March. Cudicini was inspired. Appiah is having more trials than Mad Frankie Fraser.

And what of Pascal Chimbonda? He left after exhausting everyone's patience. And now returns like an eighth, uninvited gunslinger in the Magnificent Seven.

But if that one has you wondering. Let's talk about Keane.

Why? Well for one, he's not even deemed benchwarming material judging by Rafa's latest picks.

The boyhood dream has been an unmitigated disaster. If you recall, the People's Princess of Pundits, Lawro made a U Turn that was even darker than the Sean Penn film of the same name.

Now it emerges that his agent was spotted at The Lane last night. A football agent at a football match? Shurley shome mishtake. A doctor, in a hospital?

I'm looking for punchy, one liners here. Would you have him back? I wouldn't.

Cudicini 8 The business. Communicates, catches and copes.

Corluka 8 Some fancy footwork from a fantasic fullback.

A&E 7 Excellent defending, excellent attacking. 

Dawson 8 Committed. As in devoted. Not sectioned.

Woodgate 7.5 No nosense.

Lennon 7.5 Here is a man raising his game.

Bentley 8 Best game in the shirt yet. His detractors are incandescent. 

Zokora 7 She weeps as she cleans.

Modric 9 Like a man with a dose of the old Tia Maria. Everything went through him.

Pavyluchenko 8 Looking like a more amenable version of Berbatov.

Defoe 7.5 'All he did was make that assist and score'. Exactly what he's paid to do then.

As per this CLICKLISHOUS  previousness on HH, the ever decreasing circles that are Tottenham Hotspur's transfer window activities appear at last to be really gathering some genuinely earnest backward momentum.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Pascal Chimbonda.

Archibald on Spurs Odyessy had, as per most erstwhile respected sources, a comparativley abysmal summer transfer window.  Facts is facts. In fairness, he did just shut up opposed to degenerating into 'We are 100% looking at a DM' , speak.

Let's hope that normal service has been resumed as he now says that the Mittened Monsieur is supposedly down for a monday medical.

So if Chimbonda is the answer... the what was the... yeah, precisely.

This story has had weight all along based upon his agent and Berbatov's both having eminated from a place (some might recall) so low, even the rats was hunchbacked. My guess, is a loan deal with wages notably in excess of his present drawings.

A mess?

Yes.

Are we trying to rectify it?

Probably.

More coasters than a coffe morning at Hyacinth Bucket's.

Even in the magnificent theatre of Old Trafford with an away support that quite frankly dwarfs most others, we still have our shirt being warn by people shirking tackles who think accountability is an O Level you need to get a job in a bank.

In places we played brightly and threatened. But what frustrated was that lack of oomph to go that extra yard. You get the impression if one of our lot started tearing around like Tevez he'd be greeted with looks of bemusement from his colleagues.  

It's a case of perception. And if you stop your average Yid in the street and ask, the response is that many of our lot don't look as if they're all that bothered. I do hope the gravity of our league position is clear in the minds of whoever plays against Stoke.

Alnwick 7 A drastic improvement on the messy midweek game. Hopefully the confidence levels are boosted.

Gunter 6 Not a bad shift. Uninventive, but kept his head in what was a harrowing game for any yougster.

A&E 6 Guilty of not closing down oncoming players.

Corluka 7 Low profile gig for the Croatian.

Dawson 7.5 Thankfully another good game.

Bale 5.5 Guilty of not closing down oncoming players.

Zokora 5.5 What does he do?

Bentley 6.5 I'll tell you this, he is working hard to distance himself from those that aren'. He isn't achieving a whole lot, but I believe he sincerely wants to.

Taarabt 6.5 The mind washing has worked and he now indulges in a practice known as 'passing'. Curiously enough this made me want him to go on some solo missions more. I am living proof you cannot win.

Huddlestone 4 Needs screaming at. Throwing against a wall and screaming at. Or binning into the reserves on half pay in return for his half performance. Sweet assist to Pav then nothing. 

Modric 5.5 This ought to have been just his gig. But he never did more than get involved in short passes and consequently created nothing. Oh, and he kept giving the ball away. Depressing.

Pavlyuchenko 7 Terrific goal. Unfortunately our gang misread the Rules of Football and didn't bother passing to him again. This guy is has the potential to become a goal machine - if he leaves Spurs.

Defoe 5 A testament to witless midfeild. Came on and was largely ignored.

Dos Santos 6 Moved brightly, but looked nervous.