This little lot because of football pundit Guillem Balague. The full article is here.

"There was one player in the Spurs dressing room who did act in a way that was less than professional. It is clear that this player, who joined the squad out of shape and in poor condition, was looking for someone to blame for his struggling form. This was something that was observed by his national coach as well. It is a pity that this player's behaviour should cast a shadow over the reputations of his colleagues."

Clearly the intimation there is we're talking about David Bentley.

It is no secret that there was some class of outburst from Bentley prior to the Udinese game. His angle was he was bewildered at being played out of position. It's suggested when he questioned this he was benched for his trouble. Balague goes on to suggest that no other players were involved...

But is Guillem actually suggesting that this was a one man revolution staged by a guy barely in the door three months? Sure, Bentley gives no less of an impression of a cocksure teenager on gawdknows how much a week than many other Premiership boys. But was really the rotten apple here?

The second issue is that of fitness and form. Which doesn't stack up.

You might be able to point at a brief hiatus in his training schedule as the transfer with no end rumbled on. However his initial appearances for Tottenham were good and let's not forget - he was selected repeatedly. By the very people imposing the new regime of baby food and something called 'another session this afternoon.'

The third point is the snub from the England coach. Bentley lost his jersey for the same reasons he lost his rag with Ramos. Out of position, poor communication lines and ultimately out of sorts. He wasn't going to get picked for anything.

Mind you, Ballague also said he felt the timing of Juande's dismissal 'was the most suprising element.  When did you envisage it Guillem, when we started visiting lots of new grounds next season? 

My judgement is that Bentley was far from on his own and moreover acted reasonably. If anything he sped up a process whereby we as a Club could move out of a quagmire of defeat. Bentley was a catalyst for something good. Case dismissed. And I might advise Mr Balague to stop toadying up to people and deal in facts...

Last Sunday's performance underlined just how far the dresssing roon had slipped from Wendy's grasp.

As a result I'm playing that same stuck record.

Let's get behind our lot and then we'll see what we can really do.

Great news on the compensation front.

A total figure less than £2million is being cited.

And this includes Gus Poyet, Marcos Alverez, Dameien Comolli and of course Juande Ramos himself or so Spur's Odyssey's Archibald believes.

Evidentally the contracts were freighted in favour of Success City and not Slump Street. 

Mind you - it's not all good news.

Apparently Rocha has been impressing the new manager.

Maybe there's a blow football game in the canteen.

*[In an open letter to Levy in today's Telegraph it was pointed out c.£12 million had been paid out so far]

"The Club can announce that Jerry 'The Saint' St. Clair, Sporting Director, Juande Ramos, Head Coach and First Team Coaches, Marcos Alvarez and Gus Poyet, have left the Club, with immediate effect. We wish them well. Max and Patrick will see you into the car park, gentleman."

Chilling but welcome words. Levy acknowledged that we were going down the pan at a rate of knots at the hands of a management team who couldn't command in the transfer market irrespective of vast resources nor communicate with the players.

Redknapp's appointment is genius. Simultaneously daring and sound.

The Football Focus interview with Ramos was revealing. It revealed his English was probably more than sufficient to apply for a mortgage but woefully shy of the mark when it came to speaking to your average twenty something year old footballer.

So well done Levy.

The odds on us going down must have frozen this morning. Hopefully after today's game they will begin to shrink.

The limping towards the window in January may yet turn into a walk. I'm not daft enough to believe we'll be skipping there, but the players must be relieved and any improvement to their mindset at the moment is a godsend.

There will of course be voices of dissent. The whiney whiners who got themselves so worked up that now, even when handed Comolli's head on a silver salver are still hungry. The want Levy out too, bless 'em. Perhaps they might try doing something useful this weekend like supporting Spurs. CLICKY Just a suggestion.

**************************************

And lastly well done to all the shameless so called stand up comedians ITK's who apparently all had the info early on last night but were ALL miraculously in the pictures/potholing/paraletic drunk/half way up Mt. Kilimanjaro with a bag over their heads -  Please, just give it up.

Scouring like that little Scottish lady who used to do the old adverts for Flash floor cleaner I finally came up with the above. It was always a close run thing with Kipling's IF, but I felt I had to keep a clip of an incompetant English manager delivering an impassioned piece of nonsense up my sleeve for our next incumbent.

Impasse [noun] a predicament affording no obvious escape.

We've reached something alright. Maybe it's an inpasse. Who knows.

The task then is straightforward enough. Put to one side all the hurt and confusion and go out there and play push and run and score one more than the other lot.

Talking to fans and looking around at the boards over the last week I am in no doubt whatsoever that our support will be there.

For every pessimist there are three or four that believe we can salvage this mess. For every mute there are three or four prepared to sing louder and harder to compensate. For every fan leaving the stadium early there are three or four who will not quit until the final whistle goes.

These are the odds in our favour.  

BIOYC.

So then. Tottenham travel to Italy to meet Serie A's second place team Udinese. This lot have scored 14 goals in 7 games so far, spilt equally home and away. Compare that to our 2 home goals so far in 8 games...

Pasqualle Marino their manager issued an interesting quote, ""I expect concentration and that we play at a good rhythm," he explained. "I want a ball possession which allows us to play the ball short to be able to be as aggressive as possible." Perhaps we should get someone to give the same advice to our lot today. Sound instruction.

The squad isn't worth predicting given the limitations that are upon us from all angles. King has travelled. My guess is he will play and Ramos' gambit is to hoist him off in the second half if we are a goal up. The masterplan being to try and wheel him out again against Bolton on Sunday.

Obviously Pavluchencko and Corluka are cup tied but all our league banned mob are available.

My gut feeling is we'll be very lucky to nick a draw here. The only way we will trouble this lot is ny outplaying them in midfield and that means Modric & Co supplying Bent witrh the killer balls he needs.

Frankly I'm sceptical if only on the basis we've failed to do this anywhere other than in the preseason matches. Hopefully the Italians will afford us some space and let us play.

The Wisla Krackow game was abysmal for many reasons. One positive on today's game will be the atmosphere. There will be one.  

Where do you start? In the words of the great Frank Spencer, 'My mother always told me, a trouble shared is a trouble doubled.'

And these, my friends, are troubling times. Corlka's relatives are bracing themselves for the worst. Who amongst them, when he asks, 'Where am I?' will defy medical advice and answer, 'Still playing for Tottenham, dear.'

And Ribena want to sponsor Paul Barber. They need him to give Blackcurrants the same level of publicity he's given Blackberry's...Enough. What's being said in the snap?

The much publicised protest manoeuvre planned by militant Tottenham fans scheduled for our next home game against Bolton Wanderers has been cancelled.

The proposed plan of the free lance neurosurgeons is HERE . The 25,000 flyers allegedly already printed up will have to pulped and hopefully recycled into something worth reading.

I'm cancelling it.

They can naff off. Misguided bleeding hearts at best, parasitic rentacrowd merchants at worst. No mandate and worse still, no clue.

Do these clowns actually think that the now clearly fragile mindset of our players will remotely benefit from this distracting, divisive sideshow? Idiots. Please, stay away from the team. You're peddling poison.

What is required is to support the players who wear the shirt that carries our badge. You have called this wrong and I am telling you straight  - as a consequence you're a threat to my tribe and I damn well won't have it.

ENIC out? Comolli out? Levy out? I don't care if you're pro or anti the hokey cokey. But you don't even have the common sense and good grace to do it outside the stadium.

*Whiney voice*

'We're going to hold up our sorry little flyers for the first five minutes of the game.'

F*** me, what a truly sorry bunch of time wasting losers.

I appreciate you're angry. We're all angry. Trust me, I do angry far better than a lot of people. But this is counterproductive and will merely serve to disrupt our boys at a time whem they really need us. You want to get to Levy? You want to get to ENIC? Email me I have addresses. You carry out this nonsense inside The Lane and you're making a huge mistake. 

So should some halfwit approach you with one of these flyers, be sure to behave impeccably and respond politely. "No thanks, I've come to support Spurs."

We have every right to take Levy & Co to task. But not at the expense of the team.

What a shower.

Gomes 5 The first signs of craziness are emerging. Watch this space. I hereby christen him Corporal Maxwell Klinger. It's not just the nose. The hem of a cocktail dress was quite visible in the second half.

Woodgate 4 Dafter than a brush, less daft than a Dawson. Ladies & Gentlemen, vetting process completed. Our next captain.

Bale 3 Even On the Planet Of The Apes where he would have been superior to the humans  and thus exempt from many laws he would have got a red for that. Imbecile. His match ban absences will be less amusing.

Dawson 0 If he had a brain he'd be dangerous. Or working in Burger King. You wouldn't miss him. He'd be the one in a McDonalds uniform.

Hutton 6.1 Looked quite out of place in that he appears to be a professional footballer.

Corluka 3 Left in an ambulance. The delay in getting him away was due to stewards having to coax other Spurs players out of the van and insist they stay and finish them game.

Zokora 4 Against the rest of them not a total disaster. What a comment. £8 million he cost. Did we get him off the Internet? Was it a scam? Dear Beloved, I am writing to offer you in confidence, a remarkable footballer, previously the property of my deceased client.... 

Modric 3 I'm terrifed. Is it the Premier League that's too much for him? Another world class footballer who turns into little more than a wide eyed holiday maker when he puts our shirt on. 

Jenas 3 Not good enough. Stop talking to the press and start talking with your feet young man.

Bentley 3 Rapidly becoming reliably useless. On an up note, Downing looks even worse if you can imagine that. So we couldn't have won either way. So we're ahead, really. Eh?

Lennon 6 Looked motivated, took a shot or two. But largely at it on his own. Sad times.

Bent 4 Thanks for the goal, by the way.

Pavlyuchencko 3 Has the look of a man who has woken up in his pyjamas and found himself on the London Underground at rush hour with absolutely no idea how he got there.

In conclusion then. Everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. Stoke, for those of you watching something good on one of the other channels, were lousy. No bitterness on my part, merely stating fact. They have all the classic hallmarks of a Championship side that came up on the back of hard work, good work ethic with players determined to gain access to Face's VIP lounge. Marginally more inventive than a pre Keane Sunderland.

It is damning then that the seemingly luckless ragbag of nancy boys that is our current first eleven were unable to string a few passes together and give them a game. There is a horrible malaise at White Hart Lane. Wendy described the place as being 'plagued with pessimism' when he got there. The faint niff of fag smoke in the air from BMJ has now been replaced with something equally stale. Defeatism with just a hint of paranoia.

I say hold her steady Mr Christain.

There is every reason a to start baying for the head of Ramos. But a combination of boring but never the less credble extenuating circumstances and the threat of 'god knows who' as his replacement make his walking the gangplank ridiculous.

'Hitler... there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!'

It's all got rather biblical. The faith of Tottenham's support has been sorely tested. And as Sunday's tea time fixture slowly approaches there's less silent contemplation and more talk of blood sacrifice.

You get the sense that everybody is hanging on, waiting for a sign. Should Spurs lose this, it could well be one more usually associated with the front window of a B&B.

'VACANCIES.'

The performances so far have been largely second rate. Softly spoken ex moustache owner and part time pundit Mark Lawrenson has become a stuck record. 'I don't think Ramos knows his best team.' He's missing the point.

I think Wendy does know his best team and unfortunately for all of us, it includes players we have sold and ones we failed to buy. Additionally, the enforced chopping and changing of team selection has been one issue, but the abysmal individual form of players is the hub of the problem. There is undoubtedly crisis at The Lane. One of confidence.

And so at the risk of earning a Phd in Pointing Out The Bleedin' Obvious the answer lies is in galvanizing what we have. That will require excellent communication and motivation. We look sorely lacking in both departments.

We've all warmed to Poyet. No top flight experience, but forthright, honest and unashamedly open. Ramos it has to be said is looking like a man who's had the carpet pulled from under him. From several directions. And Levy it will be argued is too difficult to see due to his cunning use of human shields. And what then of our Director of Football? A man sat in the green room of the Colosseum simply waiting to hear the words, 'The lions are ready for you now, Mr Comolli.'

So this season has deteriorated into a rescue mission. To make it back behind our own lines with a wounded comrade and deliver enough that the medics can save him - with some extensive retail therapy in January.

One Spurs fan said this week, "Our next league game is at Stoke and playing away might feel a little easier for some of our team right now. At home, you feel the tension on the pitch and there are those who might prefer away games, where there's less expectation."

His name was David Bentley.

 All together now... Ch ch ch ch changes..

The genie is out of the lamp. What greets you is not a Disney character with mutli coloured pantaloons but the grainy image of a changling. He's thin, he's white and he's positively duke like.

"You know the drill. Three wishes and if I might ask you not to dawdle - I've a screen test on the other side of the city in an hour." He sounds like Phil Cornwall.

So you can make three changes to THFC. You may wish to install a new manager. You may wish to wallpaper the walls. It's your call...

Three changes. 

Keep 'em punchy.