You'll be pleased to hear that being a rat faced turn coat no mark squirrel fancying blanket scuttling Bulgarian son of a rapist isn't all beer and skittles.

Our old friend and erstwhile badge kissing servant Dimitar Berbatov has been playing with fire. Well, if the Current Bun are right, he's actually been playing a dangerous game of textual ecstasy with someone else's old lady.

As it transpires, the tart with the heart in question is the effervescent (and it's difficult to imagine that she efferwasn't) Nikoletta Lozanova. Dischuffed with young Dimi's text tennis is her old man, mobster extraordinaire, Georgi 'The Head' Stoilov.

The story in full is HERE.  Neither Mitka or United would comment...

It's live on Setanta...

Come on, let's have it right. This season has been a fiasco. If anything summed up how wierd and wonderful it became, even by our own standards then the Return Of Pointy Shouty Bloke was it.

However, as the grip of relegation has loosened from our ankles and the rarified air of the Top Ten hits our lungs, maybe, just maybe, we might just enjoy the close of this season.

I'll say this in hushed tones and in turn you keep it to yourself.Manchester United could yet well end up with nothing. The resurgence in form is all with Cheatski.

Drogba is clearly getting ready for his usual pre transfer window I just want to be with Jose press release. This week's manager Hiddink, just happens, to rather good. He's not as jolly as fellow countryman Jol and one can't help but wonder if that's part of the success. I they ever do a remake of Funeral In Berlin he'd be a dead cert for Colonel Stok.

For us it's a case now that all points are a gift. They benefit us, but equally they deprive others. Our victory over Newcastle for example.

And so Manchester United, with all their advantages know that in order to remain masters of their own destiny that they must beat us. The red machine has experienced a wobble or two of late. Humiliating themselves away at Fulham, getting thumped by The Pool and demonstrating to the watching world How Not To Take Take Penalties against Everton.

So Saturday. I predict a draw. I very rarely ever do, so here it is. One a piece. I expect us to raise our game, play as well as we did in the the Carling Cup Final and generally get up that homage to expanded capillaries that is their honcho's hooter.

1-0 Half time, 1-1 Full time is 28/1 and better.

BIOYC!

"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." That was the only time I ever hear Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it.  "You're father's right," she said.  "Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy.  They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us.  That's why it's a sin to kill a mocking bird." - Harper Lee. 

Poor old Dimi.

Poor old Mitka.

Poor old rat faced duplicitous, workshy, glory hunting nonce, I say. 

As WFRF's quotes revealled in the previous blog, the vintage Merc manipulating mercenary has, bless him, produced a cavalcade of comedy quotes. That is, since being sindle handedly responsible for one of the worst penalties witnessed globally in recent times.

But what do you think he was saying to himself?

Is there a prize? Of course there is. Open a window where you are and hear the giggles globally.

BIOYC!

Well, I did my best to keep it a little more upbeat today but this surely has to be the last of the window blues. There can't be any more naff news.

THFC or rather Executive Director Paul Barber has been busy replying to emails various from Tottenham fans everywhere it seems.

Mine just arrived and I understand others got the same.

We have signed Frazier Campbell on a 12 month loan deal. We do not have a specific option to buy him at the end of the loan period.

We all need to remember that we also make loan arrangements with other clubs for our players fully expecting a promising young player to return to White Hart Lane.

So there you have it. Having viewed some You Tube footage he looks the part, but ait must be said all against pretty poor opposition. Now this.

I think we have to focus on the good that was done this window and move on from our car crash dealings with Manchester United.

This is an interesting and equally importantly a more positive read so I wholesaled it off Spurs Odious for you all. A comment was left by 'ari gold' who was fortunate enough to meet up with Chris Gunter and here's the quotes...

Particularly pleasing to read the goalkeeper comments. No one likes a witch hunt but there was clearly as much up with Robbo as met the eye.

We need need players like Gomes. As was pointed out earlier, in the tunnel at Second Hand Fridge he knew everyone. A real character. Then went out there and made our performance. BIOYC.

Now, enjoy...

"OK, Gunter did a presser (sic) yesterday for nationals in England and the Welsh regionals...

- Dimitar, how do you feel among this constellation of football stars in Manchester United?
- You can see how happy and excited I am. My dream to play football on the highest level and count sterling in another English City has come true. I want to show the best I can in Manchester. I play for Bulgaria and if I play well, you will write well. I would like to open another bank account here and give a big thank you to all the participants in this transfer and to the management of Tottenham, who gave me the green light at 2340hrs last night to pursue my goals. I am also grateful to the players and the fans of FC Tottenham for not burning down my old appartment. Still, I think the biggest thank you should go to my grasping, whoring pimp Emil Danchev.
- Who was the first person in Manchester United to tap you up?
- Manchester United have been interested in me since I came to play in England. They made me an offer while I was still playing for Leverkusen, but it so happened that I went in Tottenham. Thus the management of United could see what eye rolling I can do on the pitch.
- What's your goal in Manchester United?
- My goal was to put on the red jersey. From now on I am focused on my performance in the team. I am now part of the strongest football team in the world. I will find it a challenge to defend my reputation of a good sulker and manic depressive. I want to give joy to the squirells of the world.
- What did you say to Sir Alex, yesterday?
- I am flattered that he gave me so much of his time. As you already know, he personally came to pick me up at the airport and drove me to the camp beneath one of his very own blankets. It was a shock to me. Mr. Ferguson is a nice person and it was a sheer pleasure to get to know him even if I arrived smelling of dog. But so off with the formalities now he is my coach and I am one of his players.
- Was there much water tension before the transfer?
- The relations between Manchester United and Tottenham are quite tense and some minor clashes are quite normal, but the important thing is that all ended well and Mr Gil allowed me use of the facilities once I was out of the car.
- Why didn't you accept the offer of Man. City?
- I have other priorities. Money is not all important. I wanted to play in Manchester United and I was determined to join them. I can live on 1,000 pounds, as well as on 50,000 pounds. It makes little difference for me.
- Will you manage to focus on the qualifier against Montenegro?
- I am a professional, so I have to do it. All I am thinking about now is my hair. I should be a paragon for professional conduct, but I must admit it's not that easy.
- Is it true that you no longer dream of Spainish money?
- While I was playing in Germany, the Euros felt good. I had a dream of going to play in Spain some day. I liked the style they have there with wire transfers, but it so happened that I came to play in England as I feel the Queen's head adds character to the notes.
- The number 9 jersey in Manchester United has been worn by such football legends like Giggs and Cantona, do you feel it heavy on your shoulders?
- There are many idols in United. Maybe this will not happen, but I do not want much ado about me. I want to integrate in the team and to show the best I can do on the pitch. "Wha a faahkern debut use collected poarmssh will have against a team as schtrong as Lillapul!?"  Sir Alex told me before he lost his balance.
I have played in such important matches, but I know I will be feeling butterflies in my stomach!
- Rooney, Carlos Tevez, Cristiano Ronaldo and Berbatov. It sounds very good, doesn't it?
- As we say in Bulgaria... The turnip in my hand is the one my Aunt chose for me.

Original interview courtesy of Standart HERE and then partially doctored by me.

Snap courtesy of Mike.

This is good.

A poster on BBC 606 emailed Executive Director Paul Barber at Tottenham.

And appears to have gotten a personalised response. Here's both emails. And well done, Mr Barber. 

Hi,

As a season ticket holder and an extremely passionate supporter I was just wondering why the £31Million we made from the Berbatov sale wasn’t used to buy another striker.

For me the Uefa cup over the last 2 years has been fantastic, travelling to Leverkusen, Seville, PSV. The only disappointment has been the failure to reach the final stages of the competition. With the excellent additions in midfield and signing a great goalkeeper this summer I was really optimistic in progressing in Europe. Since 12am this morning my feelings have slightly changed. We are now going into a European competition with 2 strikers. Neither striker has scored in Europe, and the other striker has never even scored in the premiership. From having 4 good strikers with the perfect balance of height, strength, pace, and skill, we now have 3, of whom maybe one of them is a proven goal scorer at the highest level (Pavyluchenko), but not in England.

Don’t get me wrong some of the signings this seasons have been brilliant, especially with players like Bentley and Modric, but you cant win games without goals. Do you agree with having only Darren Bent and Fraizer Campbell for our Uefa Cup campaign? Do you agree with the fact that we always knew Berbatov was going to go for 25million +, so why we havent used that money to add more quality?

Thank you for taking the time to read. I look forward to your reply.

Regards,
Daniel


Dear Daniel,

Thank you for your e-mail.

Berbatov has been replaced by Pavyluchenko. He is proven international striker with 9 goals in 23 internationals and 77 goals in 147 appearances for Spartak Moscow.

Keane has been replaced by the attacking combination of Giovanni Dos Santos (a young Mexican with 6 international caps and 28 games for Barcelona), David Bentley (an England International), Luka Modric (a Croatian international) and Frazier Campbell (a young and exciting emerging talent). He was not a “last minute panic buy” – he is on loan to us for a season.

The Club will shortly issue a statement on the transfer window business and we will refer to the issue of buying another striker.

I think you will find that this answers your queries. Please keep an eye on www.tottenhamhotspur.com

Regards, Paul


Paul Barber
Executive Director

Tottenham Hotspur Football & Athletic Co Ltd
Bill Nicholson Way
748 High Road
London
N17 0AP

Gary Jacob in today's Times online says Tottenham were definately panic buying yesterday.

A £10 million bid was placed for West Ham's Carlton Cole.

And an approach (with no proposed fee disclosed) was also made for Wigan's Emile Heskey. The Heskey move amounted to nothing as Wigan were reliant upon Boro parting with Mido to faciltate the move.

It has to be questioned as to why a multi million pound PLC would get themselves in such a mess where they were scratching around in the last hours of the last day of a three month long window for... well, scraps.

There is no getting away from the fact that we had made some sensational signings this season. The imagination displayed has been admirable. Bentley is an excellent player with the potential to be a great one. Dos Santos is what I'd call very Tottenham - he will wow us. Modric and Pavlyuchenko have proved themselves to be amongst the most exciting players around internationally.  

There were undoubtedly some good intentions. But what happened next?

The deal with Berbatov was clearly mismanaged from the off. Were THFC in denial? Did it really take him formally 'not being in the right frame of mind' before the ramifications of his departure dawned on the board?

My point being that I bet you anything you want that Fraizer Campbell's name was never on any wish list of Wendy's. They may have had a small effigy of him surrounded by lit candles in bl**dy Hull, but he was merely just another trinklet thrown in with the beads and mirrors that PaleAleFace threw in with the Berbatov lolly.

The Keane fiasco was in fairness a shock to everyone. The little runt had disguised his ambition to bail on us by announcing his desire to end his career at The Lane only weeks before he scuttled off to be Mr SubbedAlot in Merseyside.

So what was the Club's strategy? For all the digs about dodgy Ruskies etc, Zenit St Petersburg made on thing abundantly clear which they stuck to and that was that they wanted paying. The fee was always going to be horrendous but never in excess of €25 million. Yes, the involvement of the agents was perhaps even more parasitic than usual.

But then so what. You bite your tongue and wash your hands afterwards.

The situation this morning would have been unrecognisably improved had we offloaded the Bulgarian rat to City. If if's and and's were pots and pans there'd be no need for tinkers, eh?

However you cannot TELL a player who he has to play for.

But where we notionally had control was in the sourcing of another striker. And in that we monumentally blew it. It doesn't undo the good of the great aquisitions, but it does terrify me that an elegant attack force of Keane and Berbatov could have been part replaced by a Cole, a third rate journeyman or Heskey, a wardrobe on wheels.

This fog of dispodency will lift because I'm still in love with the old girl, but the schlep to January will require a number of our lot to really deliver and by that I mean goals.

Bent must come good. Crazy Paving must be our Torres.

BIOYC

The Berbatov story unfolding today is in actual fact a consensual kidnapping being witnessed by millions. One that will not be sewn up by the close of this window.

A bid for the Bulgarian berk was accepted from the Love, Honour & Obey cast members at Manchester City before tee off today and yet the unparalled, unchecked arrogance of that Grump from Goven still knows no bounds. He even had a nominated driver collect our employee from the airport.

It was always wishing that this troublesome charge could be flogged into service with a more convenient, more anonymous master. The Bulgarian'a wretched desire to infest the Old Trafford once he'd realised Newcastle were rubbish these days was always going to be a huge stumbling block.

Alan Nixon has contributed accurately for the whole of this window on many player/club/transfer issues, even those that weren't Bentleycentric. He posts regularly on a Rovers forum and he says of the Berbatov situation,

"There's someone around here who knows the details better than me, but there is quite a situation brewing over Berbatov.

Put it this way Stroke Boy will go pink when he realises this won't be resolved by midnight, while the other Sky boys will be waffling on until midnight in the rain.

But the fun has only just begun on this one.

I think it will be the biggest row you have ever heard of and repercussions that could affect the whole of football."

You heard it here second.

"Daniel. Yeah... Harry here. Yes, I got that bread & butter pudding, delicious. As ever. Look, Sir Whatsis Face. You've called them already? Triffic. Your boys at Vadar & Sons will really need to... no, no, that's great. Slice the bitches up. Good call. Speak to you soon. No, no...I can't really talk either. I do too dear."