Another emphatic victory then. Hoo Ha.

Darren Bent opened and in the second-half Jermain Defoe joined in along with Luka Modric who took a third and Roman Pavlyuchenko's strike in the seventy fifth minute was a rather de-lish one in my book.

The transfer debacle continues at a snail's pace as you can see from the Arry interview at the end. Apparently he has signed Crouchy a number of times and it's all down to money and the chairmen. You heard it here last, folks.

I was down on these friendlies. But I have to say my mood has been somewhat lifted looking at the fist of it being made by some of the other Prem sides out there.

Fulham could only manage a 0-0 against Bournemouth. Aston Villa dropped a testicle going 0-2 down to the mighty Colchester United, before scratching their way back in to earn a draw. Pompey managed to pull off a similar feat drawing two a piece with Havant & Waterlooville.

So in conclusion, if any of you can draw anything conclusive from any of that little old lot, you're a better man than I, Gunga Din.

. 

 Obligatory Bents Signs Visual Gag

This is almost like a purple patch.

Christ I just gave myself a mental image of a post coital Barney The Dinosur reclining nonchalently, blowing smoke rings from a Gauloise Le Blonde.

Moving swiftly on, an 'ITK' on a Sunderland board swears blind, 'Done deal, things just have to be ratified by both sides. All agreed verbally by both clubs and the player, things just have to be made official. Theres no rush for things to be announced as lots from both sides are on holiday but it WILL go through.' Linkageness HERE.

BIOYC!

For his myriad faults, at least he knew how to shop, even if he didn't know what he was buying. 

You've got to say, 'I'm a Tottenham supporter, Goddamnit! My life needs transfers!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

So what's the latest sorry collection of non stories, then?  Well, Didier Zokora fell over again. Or rather a proposed sale to Seville has fallen through. 

Gareth Bale is supposedly going to Birmingham on loan. He went off the boil, but still I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Even The Daily Mail have become bored with the Downing to Spurs sketch and are having a punt with a Villa to thwart move tale. So if we learn nothing else this window, it's that the direct opposite of swoop is thwart. Stone me.

And a West Ham supremo, who cannot be named - as I can't remember his name has come out and said they won't sell to us. Every cloud, eh?

So there you have it. A motley collection of half truths and near lies as rarely seen outside the House Of Commons.

 Ubiquitous everyman, Arthur Barren Dent. Not my words, but those of Daniel Levy

One invariably decent source of footy info on t'Internet is Alan Nixon. He's not a fortune teller, rather a guy of good intent and one with good connections as they say in horse racing circles.

Anywho, THIS piece in The Mirror today is worth reading.

The crux of it is that our man Levy has unsurprisingly whacked a big price tag on Barren Dent. Somewhere in the region of £18 million of a whack.

And I can see why. For one, it's Levy selling. For two, despite what your average Yid in the street may tell you, the ex Charlton boy scored goals in his stay at The Lane. Some were derided, some where laughed off and a few where downright denied, but they all went in.

Nixon's take is that Arry wants shot in order that he can then in turn get trading himself. Makes nothing but perfect sense to me.

Now, has anyone got Huntelaar's phone number?

BIOYC!

Emile Heskey dislocated eight toes, his frontal lobe and a knee in scoring a comedy goal and Carlton Cole was shot in the thigh by an as yet unnamed sniper in England's demolishment of European footballing legends Slovakia last night. Highlights are here.

The upshot of this is that Fabio Capello has sent for ...Darren Bent. A man who has scored more league goals than either of the men he's replacing.

The new England strip was revealed of course. Some kind of homage to yesteryearness I suppose. But my initial reaction is that it isn't one thing or another. All that's missing is a Lacoste crocodile and at fifty sovs and more a throw, I'd be dissappointed not to see one.

Elsewhere Aaron Lennon made a good impression and Stuart Downing....didn't.

I'll leave you with a great quote from the England manager. "Rooney can play anywhere. If our team were a pack of cards, he would be our joker." I guess in Italy they don't remover the jokers before playing, oh well.

It's Chelsea indoors then and the match is depressingly heralded with another official reminder from the Club about foul, abusive, homophobic or racist language. Haven't they got anything better to do than reinforce the wildly innacurate stereotype that we are some recruiting centre for Combat 18?

Anyway.

Much will be made of Chelsea's record at White Hart Lane in the next fourty eight hours. It can only be described, to use the venacular of our American cousins, as awesome. The history books paint a determinedly grim picture, with only one recorded home victory since The Battle Of Agincourt.

The good news of course is that against the better clubs we raise our game so significantly that if the top four were the top eight, we'd be having a cracker of a season.

Gomes

Corluka   Dawson Woodgate   Ekotto

Palacios

 Lennon   Jenas   Modric

Keane    Bent

Place yer bets came the cry... first goalscorer prices are rarely appetising unless the guy is in a hospital bed, but both Dawson and Woodgate are around 40/1 and a header from a corner might be the ticket. Or equally... you could get the same price for backing either of those two to be last goal scorer.

Decisions decisions.

BIOYC!

A great win. No two ways about it and a whole heap of positives from a game that had the potential to sum up our season as a complete catastrope. Who'd have noticed? came a voice from the cheap seats?

Two major negatives and I'm pleased to say they were both off the pitch.

One was that balloon with some hair glued on it,  Andy Gray. He comes in for some stick, most of which is deserved. But yesterday was extraordinary even by his degenerate standards. His commentary was frequently so biased, so propagandist that even neutrals watching in the same bar as me were gasping at first, then just laughing at him.

 Andy Gray (right)  pictured with someone who might actually believe the nonsense he comes out with

 This tubby joker was describing stuff that simply wasn't happening. When Heskey hit the woodwork - after he finished eulogising what was, let's face it, a run of the mill miss... he then went into mourning. I can't imagine even the most committed amateur dramatic Villa fans carried on quite so much.

The second negative is the pillock of a Spurs fan that arrived at the bar with his clappd out trolley dolly looking girlfriend - ten minutes into the game. After interrogating the group of us gathered around the lcd virtually one by one - Are you Tottenham? - His first contribution was to groan upon hearing that Jenas had scored.

Somebody asked him, do you go to many matches? His response was textbook, Lynn. 'Not for years. We're sh*t' now. I went to the Final. I got corporates off a mate. There were two levels of packages and we were on the top one, we had Ron Atkinson he was really funny. Sh*t game, we played sh*t, deserved to lose.'

The rest of his time was spent sat in silence aside from exagerated groaning when we lost possession.

He left before the Villla goal and as it went in a West Ham fan next to me said, that's a pity, he would've enjoyed that'.

Here's my verdicts and especially a hugewell done to our lot that travelled. What a noise. Fantastic.

Gomes 7.5 He's a quality keeper. What a drag this must be to some. Another good game.

Zokora  Must have thought he was on a cookery show. Skinned three times and then nutmegged. 

Corluka 7.5 Crushed Young's forrays down the wing like they were a child's dream.

Woodgate 7.5 Absolute soldier. All he was missing was a necklace of human ears.

King 7.5 Put the Closed sign on the shop door and ment it. Slow but 100% effective.

Ekotto 7 A pair of blunders but otherwise a quality performance.

Modric 8 A class act. Can we watch you every week? Can we watch you, can we....

Jenas 7 Very good game if you ignore the bits where he gave the ball away

Palacios 7 ABC A-Always B-Be C-Closing (them down). He's not polished, but I like him.

Lennon 7.5 Fizzed, whizzed, snapped, crackled and made a lot of people sing his name.

Bent 7 His critics will remind us it was toe poke from 5". They will sound like Wenger. 

Keane 8 Superb presence, he harried, he directed, he pointed, he shouted and he captained.

Cudicini 5.5 Suddenly looked like Gomes' number two. That doesn't scan too well, so I'll change  'number two' to 'understudy'.

Corluka 6.3 Is he fit? Needs to improve on performance this for Sunday.

A&E 6.5 Mixed bag. Losing possession against Hull is infuriating. Good cross. And good other bits.

Dawson Thank god we didn't buy other one.What an absolute monkey.

King 4 We're now broaching the subject of self respect. Needs retiring.

Woodgate 7 He's an inspiration. He's a hope ...He's largely on his todd.

Palacios 6.9 Took a while to join in. He's good stuff, he gets stuck in.

Lennon 6.8 Inspiring first half hour followed by a jaunt into the Witness Protection Program.

Jenas 6.5 When he attacks he looks exciting. I'd tell him to do that more. 

Modric 6 Played out of position. Again.

Keane 6 All entries into the Spot The Keane Competition must be submitted before midnight.

Bent 4 Lost. Aside from anything else, our squad 'rotation' has just about finished him off.

Pavyluchenko 5 Looking a bit drifty. Is 'drifty' a word? Has he got dispondent waiting for decent service already? It took Berbatov much longer than this...

No I didn't enjoys us squabbling and frequently losing the argument with a dull Hull. Three points is three points and better in our pocket than theirs.

I hope you're not hungry because the crumb of comfort is that whilst we lower our game when playing workmanlike muck like these, we bizzarely raise it by equal measure when playing the 'top four'.

We'll talk of the impending Cup Final at length as this week unfolds. But for now we must be greatful for small mercies. This was exactly the sort of game we would have ordinarily lost. Perhaps it has finally dawned on our crack squad of highly motivated professionals that every game counts.

In Yer Earhole Innit

There's an air of almost gleeful expectation amongst Spurs fans this morning. Which is a good thing. Much of our season so far has been spent in the GP's waiting room complaining that we can't stop tutting and rolling our eyes.

The Tottenham stall has been well and truly laid out by our Costamonger In Chief.

The commitment to the UEFA Cup has been downscaled and as the names on the travel itinery indicate, the Premiership is what we are about.

But what we do have by default is an amazing opportunity for some of the eight Acadamy lads that have travelled to make a name for themselves.

Shakhtak Donetsk are are a decent firm. The conditions are going to be what the British Met Office are describing as 'awfully nippy'. The pitch rumoured to be ropey and our support, whilst passionate I'm sure, would struggle to fill one plane.

The interview with Chimbonda could have been written by a disgruntled Spurs fan.

There are many superb players at Tottenham, it won’t be easy to get a place in the first team…
Pascal: I think this is good for the team.

Tomorrow the temperature will drop by 8 degrees below zero. How are you going to come with that?
Pascal: I shall be wearing a double set of playing kit.

The full audio interview with Arry is HERE.  The Q&A's with Arry and Chimbomba are HERE and HERE.

News just fresh in from Shaktar's Press Office that our squad, landed in Ukraine is thus: 

Goalkeepers: Heurelho Gomes, Oscar Jansson

Defenders: Gareth Bale, Chris Gunter, Michael Dawson, Calum Butcher, Adam Smith,
Pascal Chimbonda

Midfielders: Didier Zokora, David Bentley, Tom Huddlestone, Jermaine Jenas,
Gilberto, John Bostock, Dean Parrett, Ryan Mason

Forwards: Darren Bent, Giovani Dos Santos, Fraizer Campbell, Jonathan Obika

'Tottenham arrived in Donetsk at 16:30. Having gone through all customs formalities, the players finally appeared in the hallway where they were met by a group of Spurs supporters, collectors of autographs.

Tottenham coach, Henry Redknapp was among those who eagerly spoke with the fans, signing autographs and Matchday programmes. The English specialist said that Premier League was his side’s priority number one, shifting the importance of the UEFA Cup on the second place.'

BIOYC!