Respected sources from within Anfield are indicating that the medical of the Pointy Pointy Pariah is imminent. Failing that, it will take place with the next 72 hours.

Given the clear statement from our Chairman and the ear splitting silence from our employee it seems unlikey that this info anything other than too wide of the proverbial mark.

What do you want me to say? You lot are divided. To some, Keane inspires 'he's dead to me' and to others  it's, 'he'll always have a special place in my heart'. What I do know is that some folk maintain 'platonic and adult' relationships with their exes. And others amongst us, embrace change and move on.

The source which I quoted also added that "Doc Waller was back from Switzerland." Presumably this is transfer unrelated and merely coded instruction to an International gang of in-car stereo thieves. 

PS: Oh yeah, Bob... Park Lane Nomad and I only want to help... 

I'd flog this, it may become a target for the wrong element where you're going.

Well this is what they meant by the sum of all fears, eh?

It was true all along. Berbatov was only ever marking time in our shirt and was 100% complicit with his whoring skid mark of an agent.

The real sucker punch in all this of course is Keane. As has been said, it's an emtional business. Emotionally, Bob has bailed on us. When we are told that Pointy Shouty Bloke has become a negative influence in the dressing room it is time to unceremoniously kick the little knacker into touch. 

And don't come a callin' with some lament involving 100 goals and years of good service. According to Paul Simon there are 50 ways to leave your lover. None of which at the last count included scuttling around in shadows being tapped up by Steven Gerrard. Keane was this and he was that. But ultimately history will judge him as a low rent weasel.

Levy's intended pursuit of the Grump from Goven and the Bindipping Mariachi is only to be applauded. What it will achieve lies with the Premier League. There are clear rules of conduct and there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever that both Liverpool and Manchester United have deliberately  and repeatedly broken these rules.

Of course, the brain surgeons are out in force. I'm referring to Levy's critics. Spurs Odious are calling his statement  'an admission of defeat'. Did they learn you much in Clown School?

Levy has ceaselessly and intelligently led this Club from the front. The allegations of quick buck making didn't get anywhere and now when he exhibits more bite and more class, you opt not to salute but instead seize the chance to whine on about 'inflated season ticket prices'.

Do you know what? Go buy yourself some fucking Premium Bonds. Odds are they won't depreciate and they won't let you down. And it'll keep you out of my hair.

The mess we find ourselves cast in is not remotely of our making. An incredible strike partnership has decided to disown us. What is required now then is wit, determination and a desire to not only make good collateral damage but regenerate. Unlike the shiftless chancers we occasionally employ, Levy's commitment has never been absent.

Levy has just what is required in spades. Back him and you back those who truly want to wear the badge.

Spurs fans went into meltdown as our transfer window seemingly had a brick thrown through it today.

The morning started off alright. What the Met Office might describe as dull with wet patches. Everybody hanging about, twitching at the net curtains, waiting to see if a Bentley was pulling up outside. The wet patches largely due to the Spanish organ Marca running an unsubstantiated allegation that we had bought someone called Luis Garcia from Espanyol. 

Then, just as the cutting and pasting of this article across Europe reached fever pitch... All hell broke loose. Those who were previously over the moon were suddenly as sick as parrots. Three hundred and twenty seven versions of the headline, 'Rafa Keane On Robbie' wizzzed across the www.

Fortunately, the boy Harold happened to slip into a pair of Untwistable Knickers™ before breakfasting extensively this morning and is able to provide a translation of this afternoon's angst.

Rafa: "We know Villa is a very good player, we know the price and we know the players we have, so when you consider everything we decided he was one of the names, but at this moment, not our target. " 

Translation:"Valencia have laughed us off."

Rafa:"Keane is one of the other names and okay we are still working with other names. We were in contact and we will see now."

Translated: I still have a fag packet with some names on in my car-coat pocket. Either way, I am happy with 20 Players."

I'm not going to get bogged down in the supposed 'legalities' of what some chubby chinned castanet carrying car-coated Barry has done. But I will point out the obvious. This smacks of desperation.

If Levy had said, " That sounds great, Rafa. Let me just check with our cash office that nine million in cash, nine on a Mastercard and two in Giros is agreeable." this statement would have never have gone out.

These are the words of a man whistling in the dark. Bob may well wish to fulfil his childhood dream and shout 'Dalglish!' as he scores in front of the Kop. Benitez may well want to ship him in. But those two ambitions are approximately twenty million quid apart form each other.

 BIOYC!