Manchester United Bad For My Health

The reasons why Manchester United make me unhealthy and obviously unwell:

1) I'll Never Be A Sleeping Beauty.

Living in Malaysia means I have to watch United in action at night, late night or very early in the morning. I have to stay up or sleep for at least a couple of hours before wake up again for a United match. Being an owl who suffers insomnia, I usually sleep very late or don't sleep at all so if United play around 1:30am or 2:45am, I'll be very very sleepy and not energetic at school/college/work. To make the matter worst after the match I either sleep for a few hours or don't sleep at all since I have to wake up around 6am to pray and send my siblings to school (or get ready for classes when I was at school/in college). What's more, my Saturday and Sunday nights are all about football, football, football and Manchester United.

2) Bad Eating Habit.

-If United play at 7:30pm, 8:30pm or 9pm, I usually leave the dining table and eat in front of the tv.

-If United play at 10pm or 11pm, during the half-time I will make a mess in the kitchen looking for food (must hurry since it is half-time).

-If United play at 12am, 1:30am or 2:45am, I will cook something light, e.g. instant noodles, nuggets, hot dog, french fries, or simply pour cold fresh milk onto Koko Krunch, or just eat the leftover pizza, while watching the game.

3) One First-Half Goal And Defend, Defend, Defend.

United score a goal as early as the 10th minute - excellent! However, there is no other goal until the final whistle. My heart will be running too fast I could end up dead due to heart-attack especially because instead of scoring more goals, United defend, defend, defend while the opponent team continuously attack, attack, attack. Gosh!

4) Spectacular Comeback.

Forget about Barcelona giving United a footballing lesson on ball possession, United's counter-attacks are among the best in the world. United can score 5-6 goals in 45 minutes despite conceding 1-2 goals in the first-half. Panic alert! Thanks to Sir Alex Ferguson's famous hair-dryer, United can make a miraculous comeback that definitely make United supporters go wild. Brilliant!

5) Last-Minute Goal.

When everyone thinks United have to settle with a point, one very alert player will net a late winner. I cannot even describe the feeling - adrenaline running, heart thumping, sweat flowing, body shaking - really really tense and nerve-breaking during the match. The joyful celebrations following the winning goal are fantastic: jumping happily, screaming loudly, kissing anybody/anything, drinks spilling, high-fiving, etc. Awesome!

6) A Draw.

I hate a draw. I want United to win. I will rue the missed opportunities and blame the lack of focus. Nevertheless, in the end, I will tell myself "Better a point gained than three points lost".

7) Lose.

I am a bad loser. I hate losing. During the game I have enough of shouting and cursing until my head hurts so much I couldn't sleep when it is all over. When I wake up in the morning, no one dares to say anything. It is better if I am the one who start saying something about United's lost. When I was younger, I would scream and scold anybody who messed around with me. But as I grow older, I learn to control my anger, think reasonably and look at a game as a whole.

There are two situations though,

-If United still lose despite playing well, I blame the referee and his assistants, the opponent team and the lady-luck.

-If United lose because they were plainly horrible or having an off-day/night, I would say "It's okay United lost because the other team were better" but I still blame everyone and everything. I can accept the loss and sometimes surprisingly even joke about it, although it hurts.

Still, being a bad loser, even though I try really hard not to snap at anyone, I am going to crack sooner or later and once I do, I won't be nice. I will be an evil. I will tear people apart with my words. If my United haters friends say something unkind about United, I will say something worse about their favourite team.

8) Obsession.

Most of the time, I would think of United even while I am studying and/or working. I would drive people around me crazy by talking about United, United, United. I know more about United than what's happening in my own country. If I am watching a United match there is usually a huge invisible "Do not disturb me or I'll kill you" sign above my head. Besides that, I waste a lot of money on United merchandise so there are too many United stuff in my car and room.

Manchester United is bad for my health (and I personally think there should be a special-scenario insurance cover or something for United supporters) but this team has become a big part of my life. I love United! :D

P.S. There are other reasons but that's all I can think of for now.