So here we are then, a week on from the frankly cruel tease that was the nil all draw in the Nou Camp (Camp Nou, feckin massive stadium in Barcelona or whatever it’s called), the real semi final happens now with enough drama to keep everyone on the edge of the seats. In Alex Ferguson’s case it will be the edge of those rather expensive looking Audi seats at Old Trafford which look rather comfortable.

What will be less comfortable altogether is United at 0-0, United at 1-0, or even United at 2-1. You suspect if Barcelona get one tonight, they’ll get two (I’ve never heard so many predictions of 2-2 from different people about one game for instance), but you’d suspect that in an open game United are liable to score anywhere between one and five.

In short, it should be game of the season and we all hope it will be. I think Henry should start for Barcelona for one as his pace caused problems last week and his obvious desire to prove himself in front English fans and media is a huge incentive. Essentially it’s to feed his massively inflated ego – as was his embarrassing whore job on Football Focus earlier this week saying he would only come back to Arsenal when just one year ago he said he’d never leave the club. Kiss that badge Mr Henry! And a whore job in the same room as Garth Crooks no less... eeeeewwwwww.

I have the suspicion with Terry Henry that one of two things will happen – he will score the goal to get Barcelona through or he will miss the chance that leads to them being knocked out. Either option has its merits.

As for United ‘unravelling’, it’s telling to actually see some of the press conferences that journalists use for their columns. Daniel Taylor said Ferguson had gone into rant mode with his “disaster” speech when in fact I just thought it was the man’s naturally odd sense of humour coming to the fore. Yes, he’s made strange decisions of late but to question his judgement overall is idiotic. He’s won too much and stuck the knife into too many sides (and journalists) over the years to care what anybody thinks.

Losing away to Chelsea has no shame attached to it, neither does a draw away at Barcelona and another away at Blackburn (when they should have won 4-1 at least had Brad Friedel not turned into some bald Superman) – and that’s whether the strongest or weakest sides are on the pitch. United will still win the league, as for tonight… weighing everything up… I’ll go for, well 2-2.

"I'm the boss, I'm the gaffer and at the end of the day what I say goes." Steve Staunton. Fool of a gaffer.

Well I hope y’all have underfloor heating cos it looks like hell just froze over. Does that even make sense? To be honest, I don’t care, because in a world where Steve Staunton can find a new job nothing makes sense. Leeds United fans if you thought the club had seen lows before – relegation, fish tank controversies, Brian Deane, Dennis ‘OompaLoompaLumpityDoo’ Wise – today truly proves that if there is a god then he hates you. He really hates you. He hates you so much that Stan is your new assistant manager. A horrible fate indeed.

Stan has made himself very busy today; fresh from getting his first job in club management that stretched beyond lining up cones and giving out bibs, he’s started to slag off possible new Irish manager Giovanni Trapattoni. Plenty of news outlets have centered on the differences in both men’s management records (Trapattoni’s fantastic; Stan ‘did the double’ over San Marino) but to me the greatest piece of tosh in amongst the former Irish gaffer’s quotes came with the idea that ‘we Irish are something a little bit different’ as a reason why Traps couldn’t manage us.

How are we different Stan? Are we unique in that Irish players only understand a high-tempo long ball game? Because that’s all you thought of them in the away games against Slovakia and the Czech Republic anyway. Back when Shay Given was repeatedly asked to hit Kevin Kilbane on the head for someone to run on to. When it didn’t work the first ten times Stan, what were your instructions? ‘Well sure, they’ll hardly expect us to do it again the second half will they?’ Genius. Stone cold genius.

Do the Irish understand how to outfox a Welsh central midfield containing a Championship player and some dude from the MLS? Apparently not, that’s why you played two holding midfielders against Wales at Croke Park. A mighty intellect this man, mighty. What about the myths off the field? That we like a pint? Certainly we do, but Robbie Keane scored 31 goals in the last calendar year while treading a fine dietary line at Spurs. He scored four goals in the entire qualification series for Euro 2008; three against San Marino at home and one in the pointless group finale against Wales where Don Givens brazenly used only one holding midfielder. The cheek of it Stan; but sure at least Keane and everyone else could have a pint when you were manager.

Whatever Stan ‘understands’ about the Irish players led to shambolic training sessions with him huffing and puffing in practice games. It led to tactical incoherence and column writers stumped at finding words for each new low for Irish football. That Trapattoni might make the players understand there’s a better way of doing things might just be beneficial you’d have to think. Can’t see a defence that he sends out conceding six to Cyprus over two games.

Staunton also slagged off the Italian’s knowledge of our players and their talents, or "what they're all about" as he puts it. Is this the Steve Staunton who played Andy Keogh – a striker – at right wing; Steve Finnan – a right back – at left back; John O’Shea every bloody where; Joey O’Brien – a full back – as the midfield anchor; not to mention Kevin Kilbane as a centre forward when San Marino were level with us in injury time?

It really is hard to sum up my lack of respect for Stan when it comes to management; how could anyone have an ounce of it for him after Ireland’s glib showings in the last qualifying tournament? His tetchiness and frankly irritating assumption that the crowd was on his side rather than that of the press was also disgraceful. It wasn’t about sides; we all knew you were doing a terrible job Stan. The press anxiety in every column was due to Staunton’s ineptitude, not some paranoid agenda. Let’s face it, all the press had to report was his feeble mumblings and idiotic decision making. That was damning enough without any window dressing.

Stan is a small man. A small petty man. Bloody hell, thinking about it, he might just fit Leeds like a glove. But now, alas, as I write, it seems Trapattoni will stay in Austria and Billy Davies is one of the favourites for the Ireland job. Dark times all round, particularly for Irish Leeds fans.

Later folks, JJ

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Fabio Capello talking about the Italian psyche in 2006: “We’re convinced we know more than the next guy.”

Okay, it might be a little cruel but I couldn’t help but think of this quote when I looked at this picture of oul’ Fabio and Stuart Pearce having a chinwag about the England players. True enough, he does preface this with the words, “We Italians are over critical and arrogant, all of us”, but still you’d have to wonder how much of what ‘Psycho’ is telling him really hit home with Fabio?

This is a man with a startling managerial record talking to a fella who managed one of, if not the, most boring Premier League side ever not to get relegated. Last season’s Manchester City were a disgrace to football, and while Pearce’s stock rose somewhat after the U-21 European Championships in Holland last summer, no one really believes he’s a top class coach. Certainly not in the Italian mould of great thinkers anyway.

Capello apparently is still searching for an Englishman to compliment his backroom staff but that search may prove as difficult as the grand charade that is the hunt for a new Irish manager. Think of an Englishman with tactical nous (god I hate that phrase but alas, it fits). Anyone leap forward? If this was ten years ago the unfortunate truth is the choice would most likely have been Howard Wilkinson; in Sven’s wisdom he hired Steve McClaren and Sammy Lee. Therefore finding a suitable man for this role has never been, and will never be, an easy choice.

My candidate, should Capello really want someone English-born to run ideas by, is the man he beat to the job – Harry Redknapp. An Englishman who understands good football, loves talking tactics and from an early age (check out The Times podcast interview with him from a few weeks back) has understood how out-thinking an opponent is worth as much as pace or power.

While I doubt Redknapp would take the job, I’d still see him as the outstanding candidate so it’s back over to Capello and his background staff to persuade the Portsmouth manager or someone of similar knowledge (though I can’t think of anyone) to get on board.

The phrase ‘slim pickings’ defines the search for the Ireland manager at present, or at least in those linked with the post in the press. The same names recycled again and again. Today the Irish Independent led with Gerard Houllier as the choice of the three man committee of Don Howe, Roy Houghton and Don Givens. Last Wednesday it was Kenny Dalglish. Mick McCarthy has even had to rule himself out. At this stage, the committee have been in business for several weeks and the question has to be asked – who exactly have they talked to?

Terry Venables confirmed last week that he’s had no approach. Graeme Souness too has ruled himself out due to no approach (in fact he thought the job had been given to Venables… surely something that could have been cleared up with Houghton during the ad breaks on The Premiership’s Saturday night show on RTE?). So who have they been speaking to? Howard Kendall?

We now know that it will be up to FAI president John Delaney and another blazer to negotiate Ireland’s fixture list for the World Cup qualifiers at a meeting on 16 January. It’s a dark thought and the image of Delaney coming back to Abbottstown with a bag of magic beans and 10 away ties continues to crop up every now and then.

Capello’s search is certainly the easier one here as he’s really only making a conciliatory move to appease the FA and the English media who still, quite unbelievably, question his credentials to manage a side going nowhere. Ireland’s three men committee you’d suspect are merely seeing how many hotel lunches they can get on the FAI cheque book before anyone actually asks what they’re up too.