Second Team Syndrome
Wednesday, 27 February 08, 01:32 PM
How we all arrive at the team we support tends to have its root in some childhood decision and can quite often lead to years of hurt. I know Everton, Wimbledon and Luton fans that all began supporting their side after moments of glory in the eighties only to suffer flirtations with relegation, actual relegation and financial collapse respectively in the years since.
But they’ve soldiered on (though the Dons fan now supports Wimbledon AFC – the offshoot club who started up after Wimbledon were renamed MK Dons) and in the case of the Everton supporter things are certainly looking up.
The decision we all have control over though is the oddity that is our ‘second team’. This tends to be a side that you just take a liking to later in life, watch out for their results and generally hope they do well. Sometimes they’re foreign, often in Ireland it’s Celtic and very often it’s not even a side that plays good football. One fella I remember from school supported Oldham as his second side during their halcyon period in the Premiership back in the early-to-mid nineties. He didn’t quite have the stomach to support them when they dropped down a few divisions and that’s what separates the team you actually support from the one you choose to like. There’s no commitment, it’s just a passing fad, but an enjoyable one nonetheless.
With Oldham, it was just that this usually shit club on the outskirts of Manchester had a certain charm to them for a while; for those with short memories, even Bolton had this air for a short period when they first came up; before Fat Sam opened his gob a bit too much and turned everyone off. It doesn’t have to be a struggling team either, as everyone’s positive reaction to Spurs’ victory on Sunday proved, and indeed I know one Man United fan who happily admits to Arsenal being his second side.
Meanwhile, most of Ireland waits anxiously for Sunderland’s results every week because we all loved Roy Keane so much. The logic is often scattershot and the affection is generally fleeting but like an alcoholic locked in a pub for the evening, we’ll just never know when to say when.
So after that meandering intro here’s a few sides that might just qualify as a decent ‘second team’ for this particular fleeting moment in time…
Boro: Controversial one here as ODF fans of old will know that myself and Mark have said that Gareth Southgate’s side were simply pointless in the past. However, as the season has gone on they’ve scored some cracking goals and have some genuinely good footballers in Downing, Alves, Arca and Boateng amongst others.
Spurs: Obvious one, though just thought I’d warn all that this time next year – after Magic Juande has opened that rumoured ‘war chest’, he starts talking to the media in English and the player’s get genuine ambition – they’ll be just as disliked as ever.
Wigan: Just to not be a run of the mill Blunderland supporter why not get on the Wigan bandwagon? Antonio Valencia’s barmy army. You know you love it.
Rangers: Just to annoy every Celtic fan in Ireland. Brian Laudrup was way better than Henrik Larsson anyway (cue plenty of abuse)
Queens Park Rangers: Richest club in the world… kinda. Get behind them before they become the new Chelsea and even if they don’t it should be an entertaining few years at Loftus Road so why not start keeping an eye on them now and getting a seventies jersey while you’re at it.
Any other suggestions?
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Victory, Champions League and Dublinese
Monday, 18 February 08, 09:07 PM
It’s been an odd week all round with some negative feedback balanced with a stunning late victory over at Soccerlens. Ever forward though and let’s get on to tomorrow’s games.
Liverpool v Inter Milan: Is it just me of does it seem that many a Liverpool player as well plenty of the fans now think that the way of Rafa is the wrong direction? Alonso has stuttered for two and a half seasons – admittedly with several injuries – under the man who bought him to be the fulcrum of Liverpool’s midfield (remember Gerrard was five minutes away from being a Chelsea player when Benitez brought in Alonso). Babel too is looking a little bit sick of being used sparingly. Elsewhere, Carragher is just plain out of form, while John Arne Riise not only seems to be at odds with his manager’s directions but also any train of rational thought for a defender.
However, as Riise’s pay slip proves, these guys earn a hell of a lot of money to be professional about things and despite all the negatives going into this match I don’t see Liverpool losing against the Italian champions. Not in this leg anyway; though I can see a potent performance coming from the Nerazurri on the 11th of March at the San Siro. A date that may well, for better or worse, mark the end of the Benitez era.
Olympiakos v Chelsea: Chelsea have to be amongst the favourites for this competition. Just look at their frontline – Shevchenko looks at home during Champions League games while Drogba thrives on the big occasion and Nicolas Anelka is eager to prove a point to fans across Europe. Throw in Joe Cole, Michael Essien and a fantastic defence and you’ve a shithot squad. It won’t be an easy first leg but Chelsea will stroll this one.
Roma v Real Madrid: Having watched a fair bit of Real Madrid in the last year I have to say that generally they bore the hell out of me. Yes, that’s coming from a Liverpool supporter but hey I watch Spanish football to escape the dross that is served up at Anfield on a regular basis. One thing Real are at this time though is clinical, and they should get an away goal here. With Roma pretty much assured a Champions League spot in the league though, they could go for broke tomorrow night and get a result. Above all else let’s hope for a few goals to make a decent second leg of it.
Schalke 04 v FC Porto: I haven’t a notion of what will happen here. Just channelling my inner Lawro… 1-1.
And now to finish, this isn’t big, this isn’t clever but here’s proof that cursing did exist in Ireland before Okeydokefootball. It’s da fookin short version of The Commitments. And on that bombshell, later folks and a big thanks to everyone who voted for us over at Soccerlens. Ave it!!!
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Bullshit Ahoy! No wait, come back!
Tuesday, 12 February 08, 02:45 PM
He also claimed that Sven Goran Eriksson and Garth Crooks had a little more than an interviewer/interviewee relationship. But in amongst a lot of hyperbole, he makes a lot of sense too.
Gerard Houllier for instance, was seen as a football incompetent long before any of his peers; he saw that Ruud Gullit was a “spoofer”; that Brian Kerr’s paranoia was affecting the players; that over-rated players like Gerrard, Lampard, Beckham, Ferdinand and even Henry were more hype than substance and was more than prepared to stand over these views. In short, between the nonsense and the sense, there is a little bit of a national treasure there and certainly one who makes RTE’s Champions League nights far more interesting than Jamie Redknapp and the rest of the guff brigade at Sky and ITV.
Of course many of you will have heard of Dunphy from his work on Roy Keane’s autobiography; a solid read but one great big wasted opportunity in my opinion. I read an article by the superb Paul Kimmage some time back that told of how Dunphy had (if I remember correctly) barely looked at the transcripts of his interviews with Keane with only about six weeks left to his publisher’s deadline. If memory serves correct, someone had been hired to transcribe the tapes as well, something which can definitely create problems for a writer when trying to decide how a book should flow.
Kimmage, who produced an excellent autobiography of Tony Cascarino a few years back (though Cascarino’s propensity for spinning tales makes you take a lot of what is said with a pinch of salt), also wanted to write Keane’s book and had informal chats with him about doing so. Personally, I think Kimmage or several other journalists would have done a better job considering what an interesting subject Keane was at the time and still is today.
A few years down the line and Dunphy is obviously not so under Keane’s thumb as he once was. This week, during a radio interview he called the Sunderland manager a ‘bullshitter’ who should concentrate on his job instead of getting involved in things that didn’t concern him. Again, it’s most likely Dunphy’s attempt at proving he’s no one’s puppet and he also clearly desires to be as controversial as possible as often as he can.
The full rant reads as follows: “I know Roy well and the one thing he hated when I knew him and when we were working on that book, he hated the bullshit that was part of manager-speak and part of player-speak. And now he holds these lengthy press conferences every week in which he anoints David O’Leary to be the next Ireland manager, anoints Terry Venables as the next Ireland manager, he’s talked about the Cork GAA dispute, talked about how wonderful it is for the Premier League to play more games abroad and he’s just become rent-a-quote. And it’s quite extraordinary. This is a sharp, smart, outstanding human being and he’s just been sucked into that awful Premier League vacuousness and it’s sad to see Roy Keane bullshitting, but he is. But there you go. It happens.”
Keane’s press conferences have become a regular fixture on Sky Sports and BBC certainly, but it’s not due to bullshit and easy headlines alone. It’s more to do with his propensity to actually talk about topics that other managers won’t touch. He’ll talk about other people’s players; he’ll talk about other managers and he’ll talk about things that have absolutely nothing to do with Sunderland. It’s great, why not upset the apple cart; why not piss off everyone else in the league. Frankly, this time around I think Dunphy has got the wrong end of the stick.
The RTE man is surely aware that Keane gets asked some of the most inane questions known to man each week. Sky, BBC and local radio reporters want quick, easy quotes for unchallenging stories that are lapped up by most. But Keane, unlike most, complicates matters for his own entertainment as much as anything.
So far in the Premier League’s history it seems that only the Corkman and the genius of Gordan Strachan have ever tried to subvert the interviews with some sense and a little humour. ‘Gordon can we have a quick word’, one Sky hack asked the Scotsman while he was in charge of Southampton. ‘Velocity’ he replied and walked up the tunnel. His chat about yoghurts nearing their sell by date troubling him more than player injuries was also a classic.
And indeed, so was this exchange…
Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."
In amongst the guff that Keane has to tell reporters, like Strachan, he provides the odd gem on players bringing in milk, Craig Gordon’s hairstyle and Dwight Yorke enjoying a good ride… on a bicycle that is.
Dunphy, like myself and Mark, has perhaps found that this Champions League-less period of the season makes it damn harder to come up with decent things to write about (and yes if you think this post is a bunch of shite, I get the irony).
Most likely, in a few weeks time, if Sunderland get closer to guaranteeing safety in the league, Dunphy will once again be singing from the rooftops about Keane. I suppose there are just certain times when you shouldn’t take what the manager or the journalist say very seriously at all.
But, despite Eamo's faults, there is never a time when this doesn’t deserve to be watched again.
Later, JJ
PS: We’re recording the podcast tomorrow night so we’ll be online on Thursday morning. If you haven’t voted by the way, and you happen to like our podcast, can you give us the nod for 'Best Football Podcast' over at Soccerlens. We’re in a royal rumble for the title so get your friends, their friends and people you barely know to vote for us. Cheers.
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
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Stantastic Logic at Work
Monday, 04 February 08, 11:03 PM
"I'm the boss, I'm the gaffer and at the end of the day what I say goes." Steve Staunton. Fool of a gaffer.
Well I hope y’all have underfloor heating cos it looks like hell just froze over. Does that even make sense? To be honest, I don’t care, because in a world where Steve Staunton can find a new job nothing makes sense. Leeds United fans if you thought the club had seen lows before – relegation, fish tank controversies, Brian Deane, Dennis ‘OompaLoompaLumpityDoo’ Wise – today truly proves that if there is a god then he hates you. He really hates you. He hates you so much that Stan is your new assistant manager. A horrible fate indeed.
Stan has made himself very busy today; fresh from getting his first job in club management that stretched beyond lining up cones and giving out bibs, he’s started to slag off possible new Irish manager Giovanni Trapattoni. Plenty of news outlets have centered on the differences in both men’s management records (Trapattoni’s fantastic; Stan ‘did the double’ over San Marino) but to me the greatest piece of tosh in amongst the former Irish gaffer’s quotes came with the idea that ‘we Irish are something a little bit different’ as a reason why Traps couldn’t manage us.
How are we different Stan? Are we unique in that Irish players only understand a high-tempo long ball game? Because that’s all you thought of them in the away games against Slovakia and the Czech Republic anyway. Back when Shay Given was repeatedly asked to hit Kevin Kilbane on the head for someone to run on to. When it didn’t work the first ten times Stan, what were your instructions? ‘Well sure, they’ll hardly expect us to do it again the second half will they?’ Genius. Stone cold genius.
Do the Irish understand how to outfox a Welsh central midfield containing a Championship player and some dude from the MLS? Apparently not, that’s why you played two holding midfielders against Wales at Croke Park. A mighty intellect this man, mighty. What about the myths off the field? That we like a pint? Certainly we do, but Robbie Keane scored 31 goals in the last calendar year while treading a fine dietary line at Spurs. He scored four goals in the entire qualification series for Euro 2008; three against San Marino at home and one in the pointless group finale against Wales where Don Givens brazenly used only one holding midfielder. The cheek of it Stan; but sure at least Keane and everyone else could have a pint when you were manager.
Whatever Stan ‘understands’ about the Irish players led to shambolic training sessions with him huffing and puffing in practice games. It led to tactical incoherence and column writers stumped at finding words for each new low for Irish football. That Trapattoni might make the players understand there’s a better way of doing things might just be beneficial you’d have to think. Can’t see a defence that he sends out conceding six to Cyprus over two games.
Staunton also slagged off the Italian’s knowledge of our players and their talents, or "what they're all about" as he puts it. Is this the Steve Staunton who played Andy Keogh – a striker – at right wing; Steve Finnan – a right back – at left back; John O’Shea every bloody where; Joey O’Brien – a full back – as the midfield anchor; not to mention Kevin Kilbane as a centre forward when San Marino were level with us in injury time?
It really is hard to sum up my lack of respect for Stan when it comes to management; how could anyone have an ounce of it for him after Ireland’s glib showings in the last qualifying tournament? His tetchiness and frankly irritating assumption that the crowd was on his side rather than that of the press was also disgraceful. It wasn’t about sides; we all knew you were doing a terrible job Stan. The press anxiety in every column was due to Staunton’s ineptitude, not some paranoid agenda. Let’s face it, all the press had to report was his feeble mumblings and idiotic decision making. That was damning enough without any window dressing.
Stan is a small man. A small petty man. Bloody hell, thinking about it, he might just fit Leeds like a glove. But now, alas, as I write, it seems Trapattoni will stay in Austria and Billy Davies is one of the favourites for the Ireland job. Dark times all round, particularly for Irish Leeds fans.
Later folks, JJ
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Can Fans Save a Club
Friday, 01 February 08, 02:12 PM
Now, Liverpool seem to be going one step further as fans of the club may well decide to take over the entire team. 100,000 of them. 100,000 Mike Ashley’s with £5,000 investments. Good God, the thought of it. Mark’s post on Ebbsfleet United last November pointed to some of the difficulties but also some of the excitement that can come when fans take over a club. Admittedly, the Liverpool supporters concerned will not be picking the team, and are investing far more than those involved with the Ebbsfleet project, but to me the plan sounds just as far fetched.
The people involved - football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss (who is listed by the BBC as “an expert in launching co-operatives”) – all sound like reasonable individuals to start off the investment. But it all has the air of floating on the stock exchange about it. In the long term that model didn’t work for Spurs or any other club that I can think of.
Right now, it’s claimed this model would have more in common with the Barcelona system of ‘membership’ whereby everyone who pays a yearly fee gets first dibs on tickets, a membership card and a vote in the elections when a new president is being decided. Is this really the way Liverpool wants to go?
To have the club involved in Spanish style club elections where presidents make ludicrous claims of signing the biggest players in the world to sway the voting fans? The kind of tactics that has often left Barcelona in a mess (they’ve had plenty of barren years in amongst their success due to internal turmoil); the kind of politics that left Real Madrid having to be saved by the Spanish Government who bought their training ground for an insanely inflated fee?
David Moores and Rick Parry certainly have to take some blame for where the club is now – on the brink of collapse on the field; turmoil off the field and little hope of any more money coming in for signings. The two scousers spent several years trying to bring investment into the club, turning down many ‘unsuitable’ bids in the process. That’s why when they settled on Hicks and Gillett most Liverpool fans felt they were in the right hands. We had good reason. Surely after years of searching, Moores and Parry had gotten an indication that these were the men to bring the club forward. Both, I feel, are culpable for the massive mess the club now lies in.
All of this has led to this morning’s news about the fan takeover and such headlines - such absolutely outrageous unworkable ideas – show how low the club is feeling at present. At this rate, I’d stake a fair few quid on Liverpool beating United’s 27 years without winning the league. They may even hit 30. After spending the guts of a decade looking for the right fit, Moores and Parry must take a share of blame at least for setting the side back for possibly a further ten years.
Later, JJ
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On Dodgy Tattoos and Weekend Preview