The big bang, lap dances and 1994
Monday, 26 November 07, 06:21 PM
Back with a bang. Is there any phrase that means the same thing in such a short, concise format? Probably, but on a tired Monday afternoon I can’t think of one. It was the most used phrase of the weekend though as English football licked its wounds and did what it does best, entertain and infuriate in equal measures.
What was there to infuriate? Well there was the question asked by Sky on at least three occasions in the build up – and that’s just the build up never mind after Gerrard’s goal – to Liverpool’s massacre of Newcastle on Saturday morning… ‘why can’t English stars reproduce that form at international level’?
As the question was twice aimed at Jamie Redknapp (the third at Andy Gray) we got searing, intense answers like “that is a great, great question Richard and I don’t know” and “you see them play week in week out for their clubs and it just beggars belief they can’t do it for their country”. So that’s not answering the question and repeating the question. Interesting method of punditry Jamie.
In fairness to the silver-suited gimp, he did mention the “fear in players’ eyes” when playing for England. Apparently there was no fear in their eyes on October 27th though when the English boys headed out for a few vodkas, lap dances and frankly inevitable tabloid headlines as they attended Sean Wright Philips’ birthday bash.
The full report is here and the video of John Terry gyrating in front of a lapdance pole while supposedly injured is on the same page. Lionheart, absolute lionheart. The question is not whether we will talk about this whole thing on the podcast this week but whether we will actually talk about anything else.
Anyway, back to the weekend and Arsenal again pulled out a good win when perhaps they would have drawn last season, especially with their decimated midfield. Liverpool, as I said earlier, played Newcastle off the park. For what it’s worth, I think Fat Sam should be given time up there, it’s an okay squad but he’s been unlucky with injuries; as well as the legacy of a terrible chairman in Freddie Shepherd and the curious stewardship of Mike Ashley who must spend big in January. Note: wearing a jersey like a regular fat Geordie, will only fool the real fat Geordies for so long.
Villa beat a poor Middleborough side with another one of those ‘promising’ English managers Gareth Southgate looking under pressure. He will though be given time by an understanding (too understanding at times) chairman, as is the case with Roy Keane whom you’d suspect were he nearly anyone else, would have fans calling for his head. Sunderland need points quickly but then they are playing Derby next week.
Manager-less Derby that is, as my ‘Billy Davies living on borrowed time’ predictions came to pass at last. It is rubbish timing though with few likely to be willing to take on the job. Davies also left with the fair complaint that had a linesman not incorrectly ruled Kenny Miller offside on Saturday evening he could have taken points off one of the ‘big four’. Would he of been sacked after that? Doubtful.
Derby’s season will now most likely plod along with falling attendances, yet more shambolic losses and the frankly pathetic target of beating Sunderland’s all-time low points score of 17. Good times, good times.
Speaking of good times, Jermaine Defoe missing a penalty is always a happy occasion, so well done Robert Green. While, keeping that happy vibe going, Bolton beating Man United was a great result for Gary Megson’s team who have cleverly realised that playing like Sam Allardyce’s team tends to win points (except up in Newcastle of course).
The Tevez miss, the Pique mistake, the blinkered Ferguson whining all made for great TV. United will be very angry in the next few weeks though and will also have Vidic back in defence. Expect a long unbeaten run coming up and I still think they’ll win the title. The bastards.
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Elsewhere the World Cup draw took place and we will talk about it in this week’s podcast, though making predictions for games that are the guts of a year away is kinda ridiculous so we won’t be going overboard. Can Ireland get a play-off place behind Italy? Can England get revenge on Croatia? Yes and, through gritted teeth, most likely yes. All a matter for another time though, next year perhaps.
But, just because I can't resist, here's six minutes from June 1994.
Later, JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
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Pitch Battle
Monday, 15 October 07, 04:04 PM
The last time I remember a plastic pitch being a big issue was the week after Kenny Dalglish resigned his position as Liverpool manager in February 1991. Ronnie Moran – the number two at the time
and the man who should have got the top job over Graeme bloody Souness – took his side to play Luton Town at Kenilworth Road.
The Hatters’ plastic pitch, which has since been dug up with pieces being sold off in the club shop, was said to have been the last thing the players wanted to face after the traumatic week and the Pool went down three-one. As history testifies since, they would continue that downward spiral for some time.
Now, I’m not blaming the plastic pitch for sixteen years of hurt (punctuated by some damn decent cup wins) but it was just one of the first things that came to mind when thinking about Wednesday’s do-or-die game between England and Russia. The game has everything already – winner pretty much takes all, one manager starting to look competent, one manager saying he could have had the other one’s job but he didn’t fancy it, injuries to key players, Michael Owen bound to break a leg and Fat Frank being shot down by his own fans.
But let’s not forget the key element. Not the plastic pitch itself. But the excuse it gives England – and particularly its media outlets – to point to for generations. I’ll make no secret of it, I want Russia to win this game and want England nowhere near next year’s tournament. If they lose, they’ll have “that damned plastic monstrosity” to pin defeat on when, of course, they will only have themselves to blame. Steve McClaren may say the pitch is “no excuse for failure” now, but that could change come Thursday morning.
In the past it’s been Rooney’s red card; or a bobble on the penalty spot; a Ronaldhino free kick that wasn’t meant to go in; a disallowed goal against the Argies; the Hand of God and much more. Examine any of these excuses carefully though and whether you come up with Alan Shearer’s elbow or Gary Lineker missing an open goal, there’s generally a far more sane explanation as to why England haven’t won a tournament in over forty years. Should they lose on Wednesday, in ten years will people point to a dire display against Macedonia as the reason they didn’t qualify? Nah, “it were the plastic pitch mate”.
I know, I know, not all English fans are like that. Of course I realise that lads, but Tommy Lee Jones summed things up well in that, on reflection, atrocious movie ‘Men in Black’ while talking to Will Smith’s character, Jay.
Jay: People are smart, they can handle it.
TLJ: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.
That’s kinda how I feel about England fans en masse, and while this most likely holds true for Irish people too (what with the whole alcoholism malarkey and that), we’re talking about England’s problems here, Ireland’s problems deserve a few books and a short movie entitled: F.A.I. – W.H.Y.
I’d like to go to next year’s finals and I think I’d enjoy it a lot more with the bulk of England’s support staying back in blighty without a team to support… plus getting to see John Terry cry so early in the season would be a real bonus. Go Rooskies!
The Hatters’ plastic pitch, which has since been dug up with pieces being sold off in the club shop, was said to have been the last thing the players wanted to face after the traumatic week and the Pool went down three-one. As history testifies since, they would continue that downward spiral for some time.
Now, I’m not blaming the plastic pitch for sixteen years of hurt (punctuated by some damn decent cup wins) but it was just one of the first things that came to mind when thinking about Wednesday’s do-or-die game between England and Russia. The game has everything already – winner pretty much takes all, one manager starting to look competent, one manager saying he could have had the other one’s job but he didn’t fancy it, injuries to key players, Michael Owen bound to break a leg and Fat Frank being shot down by his own fans.
But let’s not forget the key element. Not the plastic pitch itself. But the excuse it gives England – and particularly its media outlets – to point to for generations. I’ll make no secret of it, I want Russia to win this game and want England nowhere near next year’s tournament. If they lose, they’ll have “that damned plastic monstrosity” to pin defeat on when, of course, they will only have themselves to blame. Steve McClaren may say the pitch is “no excuse for failure” now, but that could change come Thursday morning.
In the past it’s been Rooney’s red card; or a bobble on the penalty spot; a Ronaldhino free kick that wasn’t meant to go in; a disallowed goal against the Argies; the Hand of God and much more. Examine any of these excuses carefully though and whether you come up with Alan Shearer’s elbow or Gary Lineker missing an open goal, there’s generally a far more sane explanation as to why England haven’t won a tournament in over forty years. Should they lose on Wednesday, in ten years will people point to a dire display against Macedonia as the reason they didn’t qualify? Nah, “it were the plastic pitch mate”.
I know, I know, not all English fans are like that. Of course I realise that lads, but Tommy Lee Jones summed things up well in that, on reflection, atrocious movie ‘Men in Black’ while talking to Will Smith’s character, Jay.
Jay: People are smart, they can handle it.
TLJ: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.
That’s kinda how I feel about England fans en masse, and while this most likely holds true for Irish people too (what with the whole alcoholism malarkey and that), we’re talking about England’s problems here, Ireland’s problems deserve a few books and a short movie entitled: F.A.I. – W.H.Y.
I’d like to go to next year’s finals and I think I’d enjoy it a lot more with the bulk of England’s support staying back in blighty without a team to support… plus getting to see John Terry cry so early in the season would be a real bonus. Go Rooskies!
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'Goikoetxea's meaner, Champions, Argentina!!'
Thursday, 11 October 07, 01:40 PM
Hey folks,
JJ here,
As John Terry’s possible injury causes a stir in England (he’s not Iron Man lads, he’s an overrated underling of Ricardo Carvalho), the situation in Dublin is even worse. The hugely average Alex Bruce has been drafted into the squad and Steven Ireland is still busy sorting out his demons while undoubtedly avoiding his hair plugs getting caught in the wind when he’s out and about.
So, to put a little cheer back into proceedings I decided to dig up the lyrics to The Memories Italia ’90 reworking of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ by Billy Joel. We’ve mentioned it on the podcast before but not sure if we’ve stuck up the absolutely immense lyrics in full.
Now, I couldn’t find the link to this on YouTube but I know it’s out there somewhere so any help is appreciated. To make up for the lack of link though here’s the original (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq3PVHVn0kE) and here’s yesterday’s blog star Brian Clough giving his opinion on Mick McCarthy prior to Stuttgart ’88 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylou3upPPxc). And fuck it, here’s everyone’s favourite fat Sky Sports News monkey Kenny Sansom impersonating Ronald Reagan amongst others (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CRkiUgCosw).
As for the song, the story goes that Joel like this version so much he learned it for a concert in Dublin during the early nineties. This is most likely absolute rubbish but fuck it I’ll spread the myth anyway… so here goes.
‘We’re Gonna Start a Fire’ (oh to have some of that optimism again)
Jackie Charlton, Eoin Hand
Johnny Giles, Ireland
Mick McCarthy, Stephen Staunton
Cascarino
Tony Galvin, Niall Quinn
Packie doesn't let em in
North of Ireland
South of Ireland
Only one can go
Paul McGrath, Back Four
Aldridge got another score
World Cup
English Clubs
Kevin Moran and the Dubs
European Championship
How can we forget the trip
Andy Townsend, Kevin Sheedy
Stapleton's a supersub
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Butragueño, Hungary
We scared the Dutch in Germany
Charlie Hurley, Liam Tuohy
Opel Invest
Ray Houghton, Liverpool
Ronnie Whelan's so cool
O'Leary in the Sunday World
Con is in the press
Stuttgart was no dream
now we have a winning team
Billy Bingham, Budapest
Man of Magic, Georgie Best
Eamon Dunphy writes it down
Dalymount to Landsdowne
English Football in a mess
Trouble on the Terraces
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Dasayev, Sócrates,
Maradona, Ardiles,
Puskás, Bessonov,
René van de Kerkhof,
Hamilton, Jim Magee,
Saint And Greavsie on TV,
Maradona, Hand of God
Brady should be in the Squad
Chris Morris, score draw
Don Givens, Denis Law,
Eusebio, Junior, Ronnie Whelan Senior
Pelé #10
We'll never see his like again
Goikoetxea's meaner
Champions, Argentina
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Netherlands, Egypt
England got a free trip
Pleaded, Seeded
Because of their supporters
Ruud Gullit might be out
Holland wouldn't have a shout
Hoddle and Waddle
Have they got the bottle?
We have England in the draw
And the Dutch like before
One thing that we're grateful for
We didn't get the Mafia
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Seeded in Sicily
Off the coast of Italy
6 hour boat trip
We can take the hardship
But the fans couldn't care
They can travel anywhere
No one else can match the sound
Our supporters bring around
June 11, English Game
We can do the trick again
Egypt next and then the Dutch
Its the second round for us
When we finally get to Rome
No one will be left at home
Aldridge is about to score
Listen to the Irish Roar
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We'll bring the Sam Maguire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
JJ here,
As John Terry’s possible injury causes a stir in England (he’s not Iron Man lads, he’s an overrated underling of Ricardo Carvalho), the situation in Dublin is even worse. The hugely average Alex Bruce has been drafted into the squad and Steven Ireland is still busy sorting out his demons while undoubtedly avoiding his hair plugs getting caught in the wind when he’s out and about.
So, to put a little cheer back into proceedings I decided to dig up the lyrics to The Memories Italia ’90 reworking of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ by Billy Joel. We’ve mentioned it on the podcast before but not sure if we’ve stuck up the absolutely immense lyrics in full.
Now, I couldn’t find the link to this on YouTube but I know it’s out there somewhere so any help is appreciated. To make up for the lack of link though here’s the original (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq3PVHVn0kE) and here’s yesterday’s blog star Brian Clough giving his opinion on Mick McCarthy prior to Stuttgart ’88 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylou3upPPxc). And fuck it, here’s everyone’s favourite fat Sky Sports News monkey Kenny Sansom impersonating Ronald Reagan amongst others (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CRkiUgCosw).
As for the song, the story goes that Joel like this version so much he learned it for a concert in Dublin during the early nineties. This is most likely absolute rubbish but fuck it I’ll spread the myth anyway… so here goes.
‘We’re Gonna Start a Fire’ (oh to have some of that optimism again)
Jackie Charlton, Eoin Hand
Johnny Giles, Ireland
Mick McCarthy, Stephen Staunton
Cascarino
Tony Galvin, Niall Quinn
Packie doesn't let em in
North of Ireland
South of Ireland
Only one can go
Paul McGrath, Back Four
Aldridge got another score
World Cup
English Clubs
Kevin Moran and the Dubs
European Championship
How can we forget the trip
Andy Townsend, Kevin Sheedy
Stapleton's a supersub
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Butragueño, Hungary
We scared the Dutch in Germany
Charlie Hurley, Liam Tuohy
Opel Invest
Ray Houghton, Liverpool
Ronnie Whelan's so cool
O'Leary in the Sunday World
Con is in the press
Stuttgart was no dream
now we have a winning team
Billy Bingham, Budapest
Man of Magic, Georgie Best
Eamon Dunphy writes it down
Dalymount to Landsdowne
English Football in a mess
Trouble on the Terraces
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Dasayev, Sócrates,
Maradona, Ardiles,
Puskás, Bessonov,
René van de Kerkhof,
Hamilton, Jim Magee,
Saint And Greavsie on TV,
Maradona, Hand of God
Brady should be in the Squad
Chris Morris, score draw
Don Givens, Denis Law,
Eusebio, Junior, Ronnie Whelan Senior
Pelé #10
We'll never see his like again
Goikoetxea's meaner
Champions, Argentina
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Netherlands, Egypt
England got a free trip
Pleaded, Seeded
Because of their supporters
Ruud Gullit might be out
Holland wouldn't have a shout
Hoddle and Waddle
Have they got the bottle?
We have England in the draw
And the Dutch like before
One thing that we're grateful for
We didn't get the Mafia
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We're gonna start a fire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
Seeded in Sicily
Off the coast of Italy
6 hour boat trip
We can take the hardship
But the fans couldn't care
They can travel anywhere
No one else can match the sound
Our supporters bring around
June 11, English Game
We can do the trick again
Egypt next and then the Dutch
Its the second round for us
When we finally get to Rome
No one will be left at home
Aldridge is about to score
Listen to the Irish Roar
We're gonna start a fire
And when Rome is burning
there'll be no returning
We'll bring the Sam Maguire
We have Jack to mind us
and the fans behind us
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0
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jjodf
Dublin, IE
My half of one of the finest football blogs online. Or at least the finest one produced by Okeydokefootball.
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Because to rant is to love. Make your rants heard – comment, vote and blog on OleOle.
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