Bizarro team of the season so far
Tuesday, 04 March 08, 11:55 AM
Considering the fact that the PFA tend to ballot their members in November over who should get player of the season, I don’t feel too much guilt the idea of giving out a preliminary bizarro
team of the season. The bizarro concept comes originally from Superman, became a brilliant idea
on Seinfeld and is far more fun than picking a team of the season so far.
In bizarro world people say goodbye when they greet someone and hello when they leave; so you can pretty much guess I’m going for the side that will be so far away from the team of the season
that it’ll be a surprise if they’re still professional footballers come June, never mind winning accolades and shiny new contracts.
1. Steven Bywater: Derby are an awful side but they were never helped by a truly brutal keeper. Will be remembered with the same awe and respect as that Swindon keeper I can’t remember from a decade ago. So, not remembered then. Brutal.
2. Stephen Carr: Grumpy, out of form, overrated for a good five years now and no longer playing for Ireland. Not a good man in a scrap these days Keggy.
3. John Arne Riise: A truly poor season thus far for the Norwegian who used up all his decent goals this year in the pre-season friendlies. Not the worst left back in the league, but certainly the one who has underperformed more than any other.
4. Martin Taylor: The Brum defender will be the subject of plenty of ‘where are they now’ articles in the coming years. He was a journey man up until this season and will go back to that soon enough you’d have to think.
5. Darren Leacock. For this headband alone. Eric Young would turn in his grave were he actually dead and not merely on ebay.
6. Joey Barton (captain): The fulcrum of the side, Barton would hold this motley crew together were it not for a few court dates getting in the way of team bonding. He will never win any awards voted for by other players, the general public or in fact any popularity contest whatsoever. Newcastle of course will make sure he never wins an actual trophy as well
7. Stilian Petrov: One of the few blemishes within Villa’s frankly annoying rise up the table. Generally, he looks like a timid music prodigy thrown into a game being played at a home for young offenders.
8. Steve Sidwell: Money grabbing ginge. Hello West Ham next season then. “I just wanted regular football… and eh, the signing on fee as well obviously.”
9. Anthony Stokes: Partyboy himself. Banned from a local nightclub to ensure he stayed a good boy, he’s been stuck on the left wing for most of the season looking fierce bitter altogether. Accusations of pampered Irish stars aren’t just in our heads people.
10. Diomansy Kamara: One of Lawrie Sanchez’s luxury buys in the summer has done nothing for his new side and is greeted with moans of derision whenever introduced at Craven Cottage. A Championship striker for a Championship club, so next season at Fulham will suit him just fine.
11. Antonio Valencia: Continually lauded by Paul Jewell, this fella obviously has talent but doesn’t seem to fancy showing it off at Wigan. Though, yeah trying to show class at Wigan is a tad difficult. Just look at Steve Bruce’s shirts.
1. Steven Bywater: Derby are an awful side but they were never helped by a truly brutal keeper. Will be remembered with the same awe and respect as that Swindon keeper I can’t remember from a decade ago. So, not remembered then. Brutal.
2. Stephen Carr: Grumpy, out of form, overrated for a good five years now and no longer playing for Ireland. Not a good man in a scrap these days Keggy.
3. John Arne Riise: A truly poor season thus far for the Norwegian who used up all his decent goals this year in the pre-season friendlies. Not the worst left back in the league, but certainly the one who has underperformed more than any other.
4. Martin Taylor: The Brum defender will be the subject of plenty of ‘where are they now’ articles in the coming years. He was a journey man up until this season and will go back to that soon enough you’d have to think.
5. Darren Leacock. For this headband alone. Eric Young would turn in his grave were he actually dead and not merely on ebay.
6. Joey Barton (captain): The fulcrum of the side, Barton would hold this motley crew together were it not for a few court dates getting in the way of team bonding. He will never win any awards voted for by other players, the general public or in fact any popularity contest whatsoever. Newcastle of course will make sure he never wins an actual trophy as well
7. Stilian Petrov: One of the few blemishes within Villa’s frankly annoying rise up the table. Generally, he looks like a timid music prodigy thrown into a game being played at a home for young offenders.
8. Steve Sidwell: Money grabbing ginge. Hello West Ham next season then. “I just wanted regular football… and eh, the signing on fee as well obviously.”
9. Anthony Stokes: Partyboy himself. Banned from a local nightclub to ensure he stayed a good boy, he’s been stuck on the left wing for most of the season looking fierce bitter altogether. Accusations of pampered Irish stars aren’t just in our heads people.
10. Diomansy Kamara: One of Lawrie Sanchez’s luxury buys in the summer has done nothing for his new side and is greeted with moans of derision whenever introduced at Craven Cottage. A Championship striker for a Championship club, so next season at Fulham will suit him just fine.
11. Antonio Valencia: Continually lauded by Paul Jewell, this fella obviously has talent but doesn’t seem to fancy showing it off at Wigan. Though, yeah trying to show class at Wigan is a tad difficult. Just look at Steve Bruce’s shirts.
Later, JJ
Like this blog? Help spread the word: 
0
Can Fans Save a Club
Friday, 01 February 08, 02:12 PM
People are idiots. A person can be a fine, fully operational individual with positively genius ideas, but people as a mass, talked of as one entire organism, become a lumbering moron devoid of
rational thought. After Mike Ashley made the mistake of becoming one of ‘the people’, he listened to mob idiocy rather than basic sense and appointed Kevin Keegan.
Now, Liverpool seem to be going one step further as fans of the club may well decide to take over the entire team. 100,000 of them. 100,000 Mike Ashley’s with £5,000 investments. Good God, the thought of it. Mark’s post on Ebbsfleet United last November pointed to some of the difficulties but also some of the excitement that can come when fans take over a club. Admittedly, the Liverpool supporters concerned will not be picking the team, and are investing far more than those involved with the Ebbsfleet project, but to me the plan sounds just as far fetched.
The people involved - football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss (who is listed by the BBC as “an expert in launching co-operatives”) – all sound like reasonable individuals to start off the investment. But it all has the air of floating on the stock exchange about it. In the long term that model didn’t work for Spurs or any other club that I can think of.
Right now, it’s claimed this model would have more in common with the Barcelona system of ‘membership’ whereby everyone who pays a yearly fee gets first dibs on tickets, a membership card and a vote in the elections when a new president is being decided. Is this really the way Liverpool wants to go?
To have the club involved in Spanish style club elections where presidents make ludicrous claims of signing the biggest players in the world to sway the voting fans? The kind of tactics that has often left Barcelona in a mess (they’ve had plenty of barren years in amongst their success due to internal turmoil); the kind of politics that left Real Madrid having to be saved by the Spanish Government who bought their training ground for an insanely inflated fee?
David Moores and Rick Parry certainly have to take some blame for where the club is now – on the brink of collapse on the field; turmoil off the field and little hope of any more money coming in for signings. The two scousers spent several years trying to bring investment into the club, turning down many ‘unsuitable’ bids in the process. That’s why when they settled on Hicks and Gillett most Liverpool fans felt they were in the right hands. We had good reason. Surely after years of searching, Moores and Parry had gotten an indication that these were the men to bring the club forward. Both, I feel, are culpable for the massive mess the club now lies in.
All of this has led to this morning’s news about the fan takeover and such headlines - such absolutely outrageous unworkable ideas – show how low the club is feeling at present. At this rate, I’d stake a fair few quid on Liverpool beating United’s 27 years without winning the league. They may even hit 30. After spending the guts of a decade looking for the right fit, Moores and Parry must take a share of blame at least for setting the side back for possibly a further ten years.
Later, JJ
Now, Liverpool seem to be going one step further as fans of the club may well decide to take over the entire team. 100,000 of them. 100,000 Mike Ashley’s with £5,000 investments. Good God, the thought of it. Mark’s post on Ebbsfleet United last November pointed to some of the difficulties but also some of the excitement that can come when fans take over a club. Admittedly, the Liverpool supporters concerned will not be picking the team, and are investing far more than those involved with the Ebbsfleet project, but to me the plan sounds just as far fetched.
The people involved - football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss (who is listed by the BBC as “an expert in launching co-operatives”) – all sound like reasonable individuals to start off the investment. But it all has the air of floating on the stock exchange about it. In the long term that model didn’t work for Spurs or any other club that I can think of.
Right now, it’s claimed this model would have more in common with the Barcelona system of ‘membership’ whereby everyone who pays a yearly fee gets first dibs on tickets, a membership card and a vote in the elections when a new president is being decided. Is this really the way Liverpool wants to go?
To have the club involved in Spanish style club elections where presidents make ludicrous claims of signing the biggest players in the world to sway the voting fans? The kind of tactics that has often left Barcelona in a mess (they’ve had plenty of barren years in amongst their success due to internal turmoil); the kind of politics that left Real Madrid having to be saved by the Spanish Government who bought their training ground for an insanely inflated fee?
David Moores and Rick Parry certainly have to take some blame for where the club is now – on the brink of collapse on the field; turmoil off the field and little hope of any more money coming in for signings. The two scousers spent several years trying to bring investment into the club, turning down many ‘unsuitable’ bids in the process. That’s why when they settled on Hicks and Gillett most Liverpool fans felt they were in the right hands. We had good reason. Surely after years of searching, Moores and Parry had gotten an indication that these were the men to bring the club forward. Both, I feel, are culpable for the massive mess the club now lies in.
All of this has led to this morning’s news about the fan takeover and such headlines - such absolutely outrageous unworkable ideas – show how low the club is feeling at present. At this rate, I’d stake a fair few quid on Liverpool beating United’s 27 years without winning the league. They may even hit 30. After spending the guts of a decade looking for the right fit, Moores and Parry must take a share of blame at least for setting the side back for possibly a further ten years.
Later, JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast tonight where we discuss football jailbirds, Defoe and Cashley's ugly birds on the side as well as much, much more. Subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
Like this blog? Help spread the word:
0
Dodgy Tattoos and Weekend Preview
Thursday, 17 January 08, 04:14 PM
I once met a Geordie with the Newcastle crest tattooed on the top of his bald head and the Newcastle Brown Ale star on the back of his noggin to boot. To put his general state of mind in
perspective, I only found out this information after he walked into the pub I was working in and took off his sombrero. His name was Kev. Anyway Kev liked to drink and I couldn’t understand a
word he said. Leading me to ask his children to translate his conversational points; with the general response being ‘eh he’d like another beer please’. All in all though, a decent fella.
I don’t really wanna talk much about Newcastle today so instead I’ll just assume that this morning Kev woke up a happy man. Most likely a hungover man as well, but a happy bloke nonetheless due to the return of Kevin Keegan. Personally, I think it’ll be a disaster, and there is a bit of a suspicion that beyond the leery fans BBC caught on camera last night welcoming ‘King Kev’ home, there’s still plenty of people in that area who think this is a ridiculous appointment. Good luck to them and thank god that story is at an end.
Elsewhere in the news today, we have the excellent story of Rocky Baptiste and Havant & Waterlooville heading for Anfield in the fourth round of the FA Cup. They might get hammered but at the very least, this story, along with Luton’s initial draw with the lumbering Liverpool, have made for a decent start to the competition.
Okay, once your side goes out (and sometimes while they’re still in the competition), FA Cup weekends are unbearable (though the odd bet tends to liven things up). Instead of watching decent Premier League action you’re faced with watching Coventry and you hear the word ‘romance’ related to 22 men and a soggy pitch far too often. Actually, yeah… come to think of it, I hate the FA Cup… so down with Havant! And down with Waterlooville too! The poor man’s Trinidad and Tobago.
Looking towards the weekend, thankfully there is no FA Cup in sight but instead a rerun of the fixtures from the first week of this season. United playing Reading away in what could be a tricky assignment; Arsenal are away at Fulham without the threat of Jens Lehmann throwing a few goals in David Healy’s direction; and most intriguingly Spurs face Sunderland.
The latter two produced a horrendously poor opener to the season, only lit up by Michael Chopra’s goal in the last minute – the goal which proved to be the beginning of the ugly, mishandled end of Martin Jol’s reign at Spurs. What’s that coming over the hill Roy? It’s a fucking pasting. I’m predicting a huge win for Spurs here; at least three nil. And after that outrageous prediction, here’s a few quick ones to follow up.
Birmingham v Chelsea: Hmmm…. After last week anything is possible, sod it I’ll go for a draw 2-2.
Blackburn v Middlesbrough: Blackburn back on track and Boro’s form usually dips after any decent result so 2-0.
Fulham v Arsenal: Continuing on this week’s theme of teams managed by guys called Roy losing… 1-3
Portsmouth v Derby: If Portsmouth don’t win this game, they may never score a home goal again. They will though, 2-0
Reading v Man. United: Solid 1-2 win, though that Reading one will be a late consolation. I state this as fact.
Tottenham v Sunderland: See above.
Newcastle v Bolton: The return of… ah forget it. 0-1, just to piss off romantics everywhere.
Wigan v Everton: 1-1 (bad, bad game)
Man. City v West Ham: 1-1 (might be better than last night’s bad, bad game)
Liverpool v Aston Villa: 1-1 (bad, bad times for Pool)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Podcast this evening folks where we’ll be discussing results, this weeks’ fixtures, Pub Talk featuring Cookie Coleman; Lusty Lita; and eh… Simple Souness. Then, oh yes at last, we’ll be hating Alan Shearer. In fact I think we should do a three week series…
Week 1: Hate Alan Shearer
Week 2: Hate Alan Shearer Harder
Week 3: Hate Alan Shearer with a Vengeance
I can see us finding a wide audience with that. Anyway, it’ll be online tomorrow morning so until then folks.
Later - JJ
I don’t really wanna talk much about Newcastle today so instead I’ll just assume that this morning Kev woke up a happy man. Most likely a hungover man as well, but a happy bloke nonetheless due to the return of Kevin Keegan. Personally, I think it’ll be a disaster, and there is a bit of a suspicion that beyond the leery fans BBC caught on camera last night welcoming ‘King Kev’ home, there’s still plenty of people in that area who think this is a ridiculous appointment. Good luck to them and thank god that story is at an end.
Elsewhere in the news today, we have the excellent story of Rocky Baptiste and Havant & Waterlooville heading for Anfield in the fourth round of the FA Cup. They might get hammered but at the very least, this story, along with Luton’s initial draw with the lumbering Liverpool, have made for a decent start to the competition.
Okay, once your side goes out (and sometimes while they’re still in the competition), FA Cup weekends are unbearable (though the odd bet tends to liven things up). Instead of watching decent Premier League action you’re faced with watching Coventry and you hear the word ‘romance’ related to 22 men and a soggy pitch far too often. Actually, yeah… come to think of it, I hate the FA Cup… so down with Havant! And down with Waterlooville too! The poor man’s Trinidad and Tobago.
Looking towards the weekend, thankfully there is no FA Cup in sight but instead a rerun of the fixtures from the first week of this season. United playing Reading away in what could be a tricky assignment; Arsenal are away at Fulham without the threat of Jens Lehmann throwing a few goals in David Healy’s direction; and most intriguingly Spurs face Sunderland.
The latter two produced a horrendously poor opener to the season, only lit up by Michael Chopra’s goal in the last minute – the goal which proved to be the beginning of the ugly, mishandled end of Martin Jol’s reign at Spurs. What’s that coming over the hill Roy? It’s a fucking pasting. I’m predicting a huge win for Spurs here; at least three nil. And after that outrageous prediction, here’s a few quick ones to follow up.
Birmingham v Chelsea: Hmmm…. After last week anything is possible, sod it I’ll go for a draw 2-2.
Blackburn v Middlesbrough: Blackburn back on track and Boro’s form usually dips after any decent result so 2-0.
Fulham v Arsenal: Continuing on this week’s theme of teams managed by guys called Roy losing… 1-3
Portsmouth v Derby: If Portsmouth don’t win this game, they may never score a home goal again. They will though, 2-0
Reading v Man. United: Solid 1-2 win, though that Reading one will be a late consolation. I state this as fact.
Tottenham v Sunderland: See above.
Newcastle v Bolton: The return of… ah forget it. 0-1, just to piss off romantics everywhere.
Wigan v Everton: 1-1 (bad, bad game)
Man. City v West Ham: 1-1 (might be better than last night’s bad, bad game)
Liverpool v Aston Villa: 1-1 (bad, bad times for Pool)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Podcast this evening folks where we’ll be discussing results, this weeks’ fixtures, Pub Talk featuring Cookie Coleman; Lusty Lita; and eh… Simple Souness. Then, oh yes at last, we’ll be hating Alan Shearer. In fact I think we should do a three week series…
Week 1: Hate Alan Shearer
Week 2: Hate Alan Shearer Harder
Week 3: Hate Alan Shearer with a Vengeance
I can see us finding a wide audience with that. Anyway, it’ll be online tomorrow morning so until then folks.
Later - JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
Like this blog? Help spread the word:
0
Totaalvoetbal, Bloody Divots
Thursday, 03 January 08, 03:17 PM
Try as I might, the sight of one particular goal still turns my stomach every time I see it. You can watch it here after about two minutes of nostalgia and The Pogues. It’s a simple looping header from Wim Kieft at Euro ‘88, one with a wicked bounce, as well as another
Dutchman standing in an offside position out of shot.
But it’s not the injustice of the linesman's decision – after all Alan McLoughlin was standing three yards offside when Kevin Sheedy blasted home against England at Italia ’90 – instead it’s just the sickening amount of time it takes to go in. Ireland slowly but surely seeing a semi final berth slip out of their grasp.
The flight of the ball barely makes sense, some odd divot is hit and football history follows. How many times have you seen Marco Van Basten’s volley in the final? At least a hundred if you’ve even a passing interest in football, near a thousand if you happen to actually like the game. No divot, no volley, no Marco Goalo volley of the century.
Kieft’s goal disgusts me to this day. I can’t help it.
The path of Dutch football rarely makes sense, be it to do with divots, lunch time seating arrangements or even the sheer oddity that is Dirk Kuyt. Therefore, Ireland’s exit at Euro ’88 to that goal should just be chalked down as another oddball moment in the history of a nation that’s usually too busy rowing to win tournaments; despite the fact that they’re often technically the best side on show.
There was a book released a few years ago by football writer David Winner, entitled Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football, which I picked up again recently. When I say ‘recently’, I mean out of a desperate attempt to do anything with Christmas other than drink, eat, eat, eat, drink… oh, and avoid generally awful Christmas TV (I include nearly every live Premier League game over the festive period in that too – cheers Sky for not showing Chelsea v Villa).
It did the trick. When you see a chapter on how the ‘Provos’ changed football you generally associate it with terrace violence in Northern Ireland’s top flight in the late seventies. However, in Winner’s book he’s referring to a 1960s group of Dutch anti-establishment protestors. Their tactics for social reform basically revolved around annoying the police with clever non-violent protests and pranks to such a point that the only logical conclusion was that they would end up getting a good kicking. Public support and press headlines followed.
The book itself is about the “idea of Dutch football” rather than the Dutch national side or even their club teams. The spirit of total football, so goes the argument, comes in part from inspiration such as the Provos, who managed to free themselves from the post-war conservatism of their home country. It’s not just them though; it’s their architects, painters, anarchists and the petty differences of the middle classes that make up the nature of Dutch football.
National identity it seems, dictates the national style of football. Does the argument stand up when you take a look at other nations? Seeing the almost drunken fashion in which the FAI have gone about stumbling from one failed conquest to another in the ‘race’ for Ireland manager, our administrators certainly resemble some of our fine nation on a Saturday night out. But actual footballing style?
The grinding nature of the Charlton era matched some very hard financial times; much like the flair players of the ultimately unsuccessful ‘70s side resembled the ramshackle trad music bands that delighted home crowds but often struggled abroad when it came to making the big breakthrough. Now we’re a nation who relies on foreign workers to prop up the workforce; should a decent continental coach get the job he will sit well with our mercenary friendly attitudes.
England’s style of play? Is there one? If there is, it resembles their white van man fan-base (try saying that ten times in a row) rather than the country as a whole - not subtle and can be accused of being brainless at times. Perhaps instead of protesting Provos, Fabio, Capello could look to Have I Got News for You for how to handle genuine talent in a large, often misguided organisation. Joe Cole as England’s Paul Merton? Privately educated Lamps as Ian Hislop? Owen Hargreaves as the anchor? It could work. It won’t, but it could.
Then there’s Spain; where Civil War pretty much defines their current squad and any in living memory. There’s also the slow method of carrying out their day (how many meals and breaks do they have anyway) that matches the patient build up of their football sides.
There’s gotta be some decent masters degree in the whole subject – after all if they can give college lectures on the science of superheroes then national football identities should have some of Mensa’s finest working on this topic.
Winner’s tale of the Dutch is a great read anyway… though I still wish that Kieft’s header had bounced harmlessly wide.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyhoo, had to write on something other than the Premier League above as we have been battered over the head with it over Christmas. But much like Sam Allardyce’s wife (ref: Okeydoke Football’s entirely non-libelous Awards Show) we’re back for more so give us your best shot!
Tonight we’re podcasting and discussing the events of the Christmas period (winners: Chelsea, Arsenal; losers: Liverpool, Derby, and Newcastle). We’ll also have Pub Talk and comments.
Until then, belated Happy New Year, JJ
But it’s not the injustice of the linesman's decision – after all Alan McLoughlin was standing three yards offside when Kevin Sheedy blasted home against England at Italia ’90 – instead it’s just the sickening amount of time it takes to go in. Ireland slowly but surely seeing a semi final berth slip out of their grasp.
The flight of the ball barely makes sense, some odd divot is hit and football history follows. How many times have you seen Marco Van Basten’s volley in the final? At least a hundred if you’ve even a passing interest in football, near a thousand if you happen to actually like the game. No divot, no volley, no Marco Goalo volley of the century.
Kieft’s goal disgusts me to this day. I can’t help it.
The path of Dutch football rarely makes sense, be it to do with divots, lunch time seating arrangements or even the sheer oddity that is Dirk Kuyt. Therefore, Ireland’s exit at Euro ’88 to that goal should just be chalked down as another oddball moment in the history of a nation that’s usually too busy rowing to win tournaments; despite the fact that they’re often technically the best side on show.
There was a book released a few years ago by football writer David Winner, entitled Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football, which I picked up again recently. When I say ‘recently’, I mean out of a desperate attempt to do anything with Christmas other than drink, eat, eat, eat, drink… oh, and avoid generally awful Christmas TV (I include nearly every live Premier League game over the festive period in that too – cheers Sky for not showing Chelsea v Villa).
It did the trick. When you see a chapter on how the ‘Provos’ changed football you generally associate it with terrace violence in Northern Ireland’s top flight in the late seventies. However, in Winner’s book he’s referring to a 1960s group of Dutch anti-establishment protestors. Their tactics for social reform basically revolved around annoying the police with clever non-violent protests and pranks to such a point that the only logical conclusion was that they would end up getting a good kicking. Public support and press headlines followed.
The book itself is about the “idea of Dutch football” rather than the Dutch national side or even their club teams. The spirit of total football, so goes the argument, comes in part from inspiration such as the Provos, who managed to free themselves from the post-war conservatism of their home country. It’s not just them though; it’s their architects, painters, anarchists and the petty differences of the middle classes that make up the nature of Dutch football.
National identity it seems, dictates the national style of football. Does the argument stand up when you take a look at other nations? Seeing the almost drunken fashion in which the FAI have gone about stumbling from one failed conquest to another in the ‘race’ for Ireland manager, our administrators certainly resemble some of our fine nation on a Saturday night out. But actual footballing style?
The grinding nature of the Charlton era matched some very hard financial times; much like the flair players of the ultimately unsuccessful ‘70s side resembled the ramshackle trad music bands that delighted home crowds but often struggled abroad when it came to making the big breakthrough. Now we’re a nation who relies on foreign workers to prop up the workforce; should a decent continental coach get the job he will sit well with our mercenary friendly attitudes.
England’s style of play? Is there one? If there is, it resembles their white van man fan-base (try saying that ten times in a row) rather than the country as a whole - not subtle and can be accused of being brainless at times. Perhaps instead of protesting Provos, Fabio, Capello could look to Have I Got News for You for how to handle genuine talent in a large, often misguided organisation. Joe Cole as England’s Paul Merton? Privately educated Lamps as Ian Hislop? Owen Hargreaves as the anchor? It could work. It won’t, but it could.
Then there’s Spain; where Civil War pretty much defines their current squad and any in living memory. There’s also the slow method of carrying out their day (how many meals and breaks do they have anyway) that matches the patient build up of their football sides.
There’s gotta be some decent masters degree in the whole subject – after all if they can give college lectures on the science of superheroes then national football identities should have some of Mensa’s finest working on this topic.
Winner’s tale of the Dutch is a great read anyway… though I still wish that Kieft’s header had bounced harmlessly wide.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyhoo, had to write on something other than the Premier League above as we have been battered over the head with it over Christmas. But much like Sam Allardyce’s wife (ref: Okeydoke Football’s entirely non-libelous Awards Show) we’re back for more so give us your best shot!
Tonight we’re podcasting and discussing the events of the Christmas period (winners: Chelsea, Arsenal; losers: Liverpool, Derby, and Newcastle). We’ll also have Pub Talk and comments.
Until then, belated Happy New Year, JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
Like this blog? Help spread the word:
0
Tis the season to be a punter
Tuesday, 18 December 07, 04:03 PM
There are few times in life when you can feel superior to professional footballers. Okay, intelligence-wise most of us can feel like three-time Mastermind champions when we compare ourselves to
doornails like Lee Bowyer or David Beckham. Morally too, some of us will claim sainthood when
compared to John Terry or any other of the spit roast brigade (should I hyphen ‘spit roast’?). But, here at Okeydokefootball we operate in a moral vacuum.
We may laugh at John Terry pissing in a cup at Shaun Wright Philips’ birthday party,
but deep down we know that overall, the night must’ve still been a quality affair; besides for Ian
Wright being there obviously.
As for intelligence, well for those of you who regularly listen to the podcast, you’ll be aware of the fact that week-in week-out we kill copious amounts of brain cells with cheap booze (so much so
I don’t even know if ‘spit roast’ should have a hyphen, a sad day for journalism). So anyway, back to my original point about times that can leave you feeling like you’re a little bit better off
than those well paid men of the Premier League and Christmas is one of those moments.
Four games over ten days, no Christmas dinner, not a bit of mulled wine, not a drop of decent stout, or even a nice nip of whiskey. While those of us in the great wide world are gorging on food,
booze, Scrooged and a ridiculous amount of sport, those across the water have to train and travel to wonderful places like Wigan, Middlesbrough and Birmingham to play mud-sodden games. Further down
the leagues people actually have to spend St Stephen’s Day in Scunthorpe or Luton. Scunthorpe… horrific, truly horrific.
At this time of the year, more than any other, we can feel like an audience at the Coliseum. Bring out the fools to fight for our meagre entertainment! Insert an evil laugh, chomp on a leg of turkey and you could practically feel like you’re watching Spartacus
play for Man United.
The TV schedule over the festive season sees Sky and Setanta showing possible hum-dingers like Arsenal v Spurs, Pool v Pompey, Man United v Everton, Arsenal v Everton, Villa v Spurs, City v
Blackburn, City v Pool, West Ham v Reading and Spanish football this weekend to boot. Not a grand slam Sunday in sight (thank god), but plenty of good games that mean you don’t have to talk to your
family that much and have an alternative to Only Fools and Horses repeats (we all love them but jaysus, every night during the festive season is a bit much).
It all kicks off tonight as well with Arsenal and Blackburn squaring up for what could prove to be an excellent League Cup quarter final. Arsenal’s youth versus a Mark Hughes side that have been
absolutely piss poor of late. City face Spurs too with Sven continuing his top four methods by dropping a raft of first-teamers.
Then tomorrow we have Xabi Alonso returning to the Liverpool first team down at Stamford Bridge, where the Scousers have never had much luck. I’ll go for Blackburn and Chelsea to go through and
Spurs to scrape it into the semi finals as well. Certainly worth a bet so I’m heading to the bookies in a while. Of course I’ll win nothing but that won’t stop me throwing away more cash in the
next two weeks. Rejoice and feel no sympathy for the players who entertain and infuriate us.
Oh and let’s not have that argument over whether or not there should be a Christmas break; or hear anyone bring it up as another reason why England are a horrible international side. The England
team already ruin international tournaments whenever they qualify, for god sake leave Christmas to us, the poor punter.
JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
Like this blog? Help spread the word:
0
On Dodgy Tattoos and Weekend Preview