‘Maybe there is more to life than playing, really, really, really, good football’
Tuesday, 15 April 08, 03:59 PM
There is only one place to start today – no not United being champions elect or anything to do with Chelsea but instead I’ll start with this oddly mesmerising image of the ‘Wengerbus’. Truly
magnificent and the full glory is here. I hate
Zoolander but for giving us this, the $50 million budget was worth it.
Anyway, back to matters sporting, and where to really start today… Avram Grant hanging on by a thread, Rafa Benitez supposedly heading off in the summer or Ronaldo being worth more than £100 million according to Carlos ‘rejected Bond bad guy’ Queiroz. In the crescendo that is the end of the season we have talks over who’s going where, how much money will be spent in the process and all of this goes on for the next three months.
In many papers’ minds, and with most sane individuals, the title race is over after Chelsea’s abject display yesterday which didn’t merit three points. All that’s left now is mathematical confirmation and a few commemorative pull outs from the more excitable tabloids. Hats off to Steve Bruce (good god that’s a difficult few words to write) for making some telling substitutions and bigger, novelty-size hats off to Chris Kirkland for keeping Chelsea at bay whenever they threatened… he didn’t even get injured in the process, what a guy.
As myself and Mark alluded to in last week’s podcast, were Chelsea to actually win the league it would remain one of life’s biggest mysteries for generations to come. Brutal football, complete boardroom turmoil and to be fair to Grant, some unfortunate injuries to key players. How could they do it?
What will be left after their failure in the league is the feeling that Mourinho’s Chelsea would’ve taken this title race by the scruff of the neck and won it; and while the Portugeezer’s demeanour in his latter days as Chelsea boss suggests that might not automatically be true, it will ring of truth in enough ears to send Grant packing come late May.
I’d suspect even a Champions League win would be ‘rewarded’ with a promotion upstairs within the club, a prospect that Grant wouldn’t fight either. So as Chelsea search for a new manager, the turmoil at Anfield will continue and I honestly think Benitez will go this summer to Real Madrid, Barcelona or possibly Inter Milan. I still believe his first choice is to stay at Liverpool but why should he at this stage? Another season of league mediocrity, which is the most likely outcome of him staying next year anyway, would only see his reputation damaged.
Anyway, back to matters sporting, and where to really start today… Avram Grant hanging on by a thread, Rafa Benitez supposedly heading off in the summer or Ronaldo being worth more than £100 million according to Carlos ‘rejected Bond bad guy’ Queiroz. In the crescendo that is the end of the season we have talks over who’s going where, how much money will be spent in the process and all of this goes on for the next three months.
In many papers’ minds, and with most sane individuals, the title race is over after Chelsea’s abject display yesterday which didn’t merit three points. All that’s left now is mathematical confirmation and a few commemorative pull outs from the more excitable tabloids. Hats off to Steve Bruce (good god that’s a difficult few words to write) for making some telling substitutions and bigger, novelty-size hats off to Chris Kirkland for keeping Chelsea at bay whenever they threatened… he didn’t even get injured in the process, what a guy.
As myself and Mark alluded to in last week’s podcast, were Chelsea to actually win the league it would remain one of life’s biggest mysteries for generations to come. Brutal football, complete boardroom turmoil and to be fair to Grant, some unfortunate injuries to key players. How could they do it?
What will be left after their failure in the league is the feeling that Mourinho’s Chelsea would’ve taken this title race by the scruff of the neck and won it; and while the Portugeezer’s demeanour in his latter days as Chelsea boss suggests that might not automatically be true, it will ring of truth in enough ears to send Grant packing come late May.
I’d suspect even a Champions League win would be ‘rewarded’ with a promotion upstairs within the club, a prospect that Grant wouldn’t fight either. So as Chelsea search for a new manager, the turmoil at Anfield will continue and I honestly think Benitez will go this summer to Real Madrid, Barcelona or possibly Inter Milan. I still believe his first choice is to stay at Liverpool but why should he at this stage? Another season of league mediocrity, which is the most likely outcome of him staying next year anyway, would only see his reputation damaged.
Right now, he has a huge profile around Europe and a very decent managerial record. The funny thing is that only three months ago it was the fans who wanted him out, but the truth of football
is that decisions are always made in the boardroom rather than the terraces, no matter how many protests there are.
Elsewhere, Quieroz’s claims over Ronaldo’s worth are correct – the guy is so valuable to the club through the on the pitch performances and off the pitch revenue, they could never sell him. With 37 goals this year, only he could force a move and why would he at this stage? It may be that a few years down the line we’re looking at a Ronaldinho situation of a guy who has fallen out of love with the club but if that doesn’t happen, it’s hard to see United losing a stranglehold on the Premier League and possibly Europe.
Considering how flaky the rest of the big four have been of late, whether on the pitch or off, the happy house that is Old Trafford will continue to dominate and Fergie may well laugh into that glass of fine Bordeaux. Even with the mediocre performances of late that Mark mentioned yesterday, they’re still untouchable. Ah feck it, let's look at the Wengerbus again.
Elsewhere, Quieroz’s claims over Ronaldo’s worth are correct – the guy is so valuable to the club through the on the pitch performances and off the pitch revenue, they could never sell him. With 37 goals this year, only he could force a move and why would he at this stage? It may be that a few years down the line we’re looking at a Ronaldinho situation of a guy who has fallen out of love with the club but if that doesn’t happen, it’s hard to see United losing a stranglehold on the Premier League and possibly Europe.
Considering how flaky the rest of the big four have been of late, whether on the pitch or off, the happy house that is Old Trafford will continue to dominate and Fergie may well laugh into that glass of fine Bordeaux. Even with the mediocre performances of late that Mark mentioned yesterday, they’re still untouchable. Ah feck it, let's look at the Wengerbus again.
JJ
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Bizarro team of the season so far
Tuesday, 04 March 08, 11:55 AM
Considering the fact that the PFA tend to ballot their members in November over who should get player of the season, I don’t feel too much guilt the idea of giving out a preliminary bizarro
team of the season. The bizarro concept comes originally from Superman, became a brilliant idea
on Seinfeld and is far more fun than picking a team of the season so far.
In bizarro world people say goodbye when they greet someone and hello when they leave; so you can pretty much guess I’m going for the side that will be so far away from the team of the season
that it’ll be a surprise if they’re still professional footballers come June, never mind winning accolades and shiny new contracts.
1. Steven Bywater: Derby are an awful side but they were never helped by a truly brutal keeper. Will be remembered with the same awe and respect as that Swindon keeper I can’t remember from a decade ago. So, not remembered then. Brutal.
2. Stephen Carr: Grumpy, out of form, overrated for a good five years now and no longer playing for Ireland. Not a good man in a scrap these days Keggy.
3. John Arne Riise: A truly poor season thus far for the Norwegian who used up all his decent goals this year in the pre-season friendlies. Not the worst left back in the league, but certainly the one who has underperformed more than any other.
4. Martin Taylor: The Brum defender will be the subject of plenty of ‘where are they now’ articles in the coming years. He was a journey man up until this season and will go back to that soon enough you’d have to think.
5. Darren Leacock. For this headband alone. Eric Young would turn in his grave were he actually dead and not merely on ebay.
6. Joey Barton (captain): The fulcrum of the side, Barton would hold this motley crew together were it not for a few court dates getting in the way of team bonding. He will never win any awards voted for by other players, the general public or in fact any popularity contest whatsoever. Newcastle of course will make sure he never wins an actual trophy as well
7. Stilian Petrov: One of the few blemishes within Villa’s frankly annoying rise up the table. Generally, he looks like a timid music prodigy thrown into a game being played at a home for young offenders.
8. Steve Sidwell: Money grabbing ginge. Hello West Ham next season then. “I just wanted regular football… and eh, the signing on fee as well obviously.”
9. Anthony Stokes: Partyboy himself. Banned from a local nightclub to ensure he stayed a good boy, he’s been stuck on the left wing for most of the season looking fierce bitter altogether. Accusations of pampered Irish stars aren’t just in our heads people.
10. Diomansy Kamara: One of Lawrie Sanchez’s luxury buys in the summer has done nothing for his new side and is greeted with moans of derision whenever introduced at Craven Cottage. A Championship striker for a Championship club, so next season at Fulham will suit him just fine.
11. Antonio Valencia: Continually lauded by Paul Jewell, this fella obviously has talent but doesn’t seem to fancy showing it off at Wigan. Though, yeah trying to show class at Wigan is a tad difficult. Just look at Steve Bruce’s shirts.
1. Steven Bywater: Derby are an awful side but they were never helped by a truly brutal keeper. Will be remembered with the same awe and respect as that Swindon keeper I can’t remember from a decade ago. So, not remembered then. Brutal.
2. Stephen Carr: Grumpy, out of form, overrated for a good five years now and no longer playing for Ireland. Not a good man in a scrap these days Keggy.
3. John Arne Riise: A truly poor season thus far for the Norwegian who used up all his decent goals this year in the pre-season friendlies. Not the worst left back in the league, but certainly the one who has underperformed more than any other.
4. Martin Taylor: The Brum defender will be the subject of plenty of ‘where are they now’ articles in the coming years. He was a journey man up until this season and will go back to that soon enough you’d have to think.
5. Darren Leacock. For this headband alone. Eric Young would turn in his grave were he actually dead and not merely on ebay.
6. Joey Barton (captain): The fulcrum of the side, Barton would hold this motley crew together were it not for a few court dates getting in the way of team bonding. He will never win any awards voted for by other players, the general public or in fact any popularity contest whatsoever. Newcastle of course will make sure he never wins an actual trophy as well
7. Stilian Petrov: One of the few blemishes within Villa’s frankly annoying rise up the table. Generally, he looks like a timid music prodigy thrown into a game being played at a home for young offenders.
8. Steve Sidwell: Money grabbing ginge. Hello West Ham next season then. “I just wanted regular football… and eh, the signing on fee as well obviously.”
9. Anthony Stokes: Partyboy himself. Banned from a local nightclub to ensure he stayed a good boy, he’s been stuck on the left wing for most of the season looking fierce bitter altogether. Accusations of pampered Irish stars aren’t just in our heads people.
10. Diomansy Kamara: One of Lawrie Sanchez’s luxury buys in the summer has done nothing for his new side and is greeted with moans of derision whenever introduced at Craven Cottage. A Championship striker for a Championship club, so next season at Fulham will suit him just fine.
11. Antonio Valencia: Continually lauded by Paul Jewell, this fella obviously has talent but doesn’t seem to fancy showing it off at Wigan. Though, yeah trying to show class at Wigan is a tad difficult. Just look at Steve Bruce’s shirts.
Later, JJ
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Victory, Champions League and Dublinese
Monday, 18 February 08, 09:07 PM
Heya folks, belated start to our blogs on what will be a busy week for fuhbal as it’s pronounced in certain corners of Dublin. Considering I’m a Pool fan it’ll be fairly obvious that tomorrow’s
game is required viewing, in fact it’s required viewing with a Guinness in one hand, toasted sandwich in the other and voice screaming like a mad lunatic at silly little men in red on a TV
screen who can’t hear me. The way god meant it to be.
It’s been an odd week all round with some negative feedback balanced with a stunning late victory over at Soccerlens. Ever forward though and let’s get on to tomorrow’s games.
Liverpool v Inter Milan: Is it just me of does it seem that many a Liverpool player as well plenty of the fans now think that the way of Rafa is the wrong direction? Alonso has stuttered for two and a half seasons – admittedly with several injuries – under the man who bought him to be the fulcrum of Liverpool’s midfield (remember Gerrard was five minutes away from being a Chelsea player when Benitez brought in Alonso). Babel too is looking a little bit sick of being used sparingly. Elsewhere, Carragher is just plain out of form, while John Arne Riise not only seems to be at odds with his manager’s directions but also any train of rational thought for a defender.
However, as Riise’s pay slip proves, these guys earn a hell of a lot of money to be professional about things and despite all the negatives going into this match I don’t see Liverpool losing against the Italian champions. Not in this leg anyway; though I can see a potent performance coming from the Nerazurri on the 11th of March at the San Siro. A date that may well, for better or worse, mark the end of the Benitez era.
Olympiakos v Chelsea: Chelsea have to be amongst the favourites for this competition. Just look at their frontline – Shevchenko looks at home during Champions League games while Drogba thrives on the big occasion and Nicolas Anelka is eager to prove a point to fans across Europe. Throw in Joe Cole, Michael Essien and a fantastic defence and you’ve a shithot squad. It won’t be an easy first leg but Chelsea will stroll this one.
Roma v Real Madrid: Having watched a fair bit of Real Madrid in the last year I have to say that generally they bore the hell out of me. Yes, that’s coming from a Liverpool supporter but hey I watch Spanish football to escape the dross that is served up at Anfield on a regular basis. One thing Real are at this time though is clinical, and they should get an away goal here. With Roma pretty much assured a Champions League spot in the league though, they could go for broke tomorrow night and get a result. Above all else let’s hope for a few goals to make a decent second leg of it.
Schalke 04 v FC Porto: I haven’t a notion of what will happen here. Just channelling my inner Lawro… 1-1.
And now to finish, this isn’t big, this isn’t clever but here’s proof that cursing did exist in Ireland before Okeydokefootball. It’s da fookin short version of The Commitments. And on that bombshell, later folks and a big thanks to everyone who voted for us over at Soccerlens. Ave it!!!
It’s been an odd week all round with some negative feedback balanced with a stunning late victory over at Soccerlens. Ever forward though and let’s get on to tomorrow’s games.
Liverpool v Inter Milan: Is it just me of does it seem that many a Liverpool player as well plenty of the fans now think that the way of Rafa is the wrong direction? Alonso has stuttered for two and a half seasons – admittedly with several injuries – under the man who bought him to be the fulcrum of Liverpool’s midfield (remember Gerrard was five minutes away from being a Chelsea player when Benitez brought in Alonso). Babel too is looking a little bit sick of being used sparingly. Elsewhere, Carragher is just plain out of form, while John Arne Riise not only seems to be at odds with his manager’s directions but also any train of rational thought for a defender.
However, as Riise’s pay slip proves, these guys earn a hell of a lot of money to be professional about things and despite all the negatives going into this match I don’t see Liverpool losing against the Italian champions. Not in this leg anyway; though I can see a potent performance coming from the Nerazurri on the 11th of March at the San Siro. A date that may well, for better or worse, mark the end of the Benitez era.
Olympiakos v Chelsea: Chelsea have to be amongst the favourites for this competition. Just look at their frontline – Shevchenko looks at home during Champions League games while Drogba thrives on the big occasion and Nicolas Anelka is eager to prove a point to fans across Europe. Throw in Joe Cole, Michael Essien and a fantastic defence and you’ve a shithot squad. It won’t be an easy first leg but Chelsea will stroll this one.
Roma v Real Madrid: Having watched a fair bit of Real Madrid in the last year I have to say that generally they bore the hell out of me. Yes, that’s coming from a Liverpool supporter but hey I watch Spanish football to escape the dross that is served up at Anfield on a regular basis. One thing Real are at this time though is clinical, and they should get an away goal here. With Roma pretty much assured a Champions League spot in the league though, they could go for broke tomorrow night and get a result. Above all else let’s hope for a few goals to make a decent second leg of it.
Schalke 04 v FC Porto: I haven’t a notion of what will happen here. Just channelling my inner Lawro… 1-1.
And now to finish, this isn’t big, this isn’t clever but here’s proof that cursing did exist in Ireland before Okeydokefootball. It’s da fookin short version of The Commitments. And on that bombshell, later folks and a big thanks to everyone who voted for us over at Soccerlens. Ave it!!!
JJ
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Can Fans Save a Club
Friday, 01 February 08, 02:12 PM
People are idiots. A person can be a fine, fully operational individual with positively genius ideas, but people as a mass, talked of as one entire organism, become a lumbering moron devoid of
rational thought. After Mike Ashley made the mistake of becoming one of ‘the people’, he listened to mob idiocy rather than basic sense and appointed Kevin Keegan.
Now, Liverpool seem to be going one step further as fans of the club may well decide to take over the entire team. 100,000 of them. 100,000 Mike Ashley’s with £5,000 investments. Good God, the thought of it. Mark’s post on Ebbsfleet United last November pointed to some of the difficulties but also some of the excitement that can come when fans take over a club. Admittedly, the Liverpool supporters concerned will not be picking the team, and are investing far more than those involved with the Ebbsfleet project, but to me the plan sounds just as far fetched.
The people involved - football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss (who is listed by the BBC as “an expert in launching co-operatives”) – all sound like reasonable individuals to start off the investment. But it all has the air of floating on the stock exchange about it. In the long term that model didn’t work for Spurs or any other club that I can think of.
Right now, it’s claimed this model would have more in common with the Barcelona system of ‘membership’ whereby everyone who pays a yearly fee gets first dibs on tickets, a membership card and a vote in the elections when a new president is being decided. Is this really the way Liverpool wants to go?
To have the club involved in Spanish style club elections where presidents make ludicrous claims of signing the biggest players in the world to sway the voting fans? The kind of tactics that has often left Barcelona in a mess (they’ve had plenty of barren years in amongst their success due to internal turmoil); the kind of politics that left Real Madrid having to be saved by the Spanish Government who bought their training ground for an insanely inflated fee?
David Moores and Rick Parry certainly have to take some blame for where the club is now – on the brink of collapse on the field; turmoil off the field and little hope of any more money coming in for signings. The two scousers spent several years trying to bring investment into the club, turning down many ‘unsuitable’ bids in the process. That’s why when they settled on Hicks and Gillett most Liverpool fans felt they were in the right hands. We had good reason. Surely after years of searching, Moores and Parry had gotten an indication that these were the men to bring the club forward. Both, I feel, are culpable for the massive mess the club now lies in.
All of this has led to this morning’s news about the fan takeover and such headlines - such absolutely outrageous unworkable ideas – show how low the club is feeling at present. At this rate, I’d stake a fair few quid on Liverpool beating United’s 27 years without winning the league. They may even hit 30. After spending the guts of a decade looking for the right fit, Moores and Parry must take a share of blame at least for setting the side back for possibly a further ten years.
Later, JJ
Now, Liverpool seem to be going one step further as fans of the club may well decide to take over the entire team. 100,000 of them. 100,000 Mike Ashley’s with £5,000 investments. Good God, the thought of it. Mark’s post on Ebbsfleet United last November pointed to some of the difficulties but also some of the excitement that can come when fans take over a club. Admittedly, the Liverpool supporters concerned will not be picking the team, and are investing far more than those involved with the Ebbsfleet project, but to me the plan sounds just as far fetched.
The people involved - football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss (who is listed by the BBC as “an expert in launching co-operatives”) – all sound like reasonable individuals to start off the investment. But it all has the air of floating on the stock exchange about it. In the long term that model didn’t work for Spurs or any other club that I can think of.
Right now, it’s claimed this model would have more in common with the Barcelona system of ‘membership’ whereby everyone who pays a yearly fee gets first dibs on tickets, a membership card and a vote in the elections when a new president is being decided. Is this really the way Liverpool wants to go?
To have the club involved in Spanish style club elections where presidents make ludicrous claims of signing the biggest players in the world to sway the voting fans? The kind of tactics that has often left Barcelona in a mess (they’ve had plenty of barren years in amongst their success due to internal turmoil); the kind of politics that left Real Madrid having to be saved by the Spanish Government who bought their training ground for an insanely inflated fee?
David Moores and Rick Parry certainly have to take some blame for where the club is now – on the brink of collapse on the field; turmoil off the field and little hope of any more money coming in for signings. The two scousers spent several years trying to bring investment into the club, turning down many ‘unsuitable’ bids in the process. That’s why when they settled on Hicks and Gillett most Liverpool fans felt they were in the right hands. We had good reason. Surely after years of searching, Moores and Parry had gotten an indication that these were the men to bring the club forward. Both, I feel, are culpable for the massive mess the club now lies in.
All of this has led to this morning’s news about the fan takeover and such headlines - such absolutely outrageous unworkable ideas – show how low the club is feeling at present. At this rate, I’d stake a fair few quid on Liverpool beating United’s 27 years without winning the league. They may even hit 30. After spending the guts of a decade looking for the right fit, Moores and Parry must take a share of blame at least for setting the side back for possibly a further ten years.
Later, JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast tonight where we discuss football jailbirds, Defoe and Cashley's ugly birds on the side as well as much, much more. Subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
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Dodgy Tattoos and Weekend Preview
Thursday, 17 January 08, 04:14 PM
I once met a Geordie with the Newcastle crest tattooed on the top of his bald head and the Newcastle Brown Ale star on the back of his noggin to boot. To put his general state of mind in
perspective, I only found out this information after he walked into the pub I was working in and took off his sombrero. His name was Kev. Anyway Kev liked to drink and I couldn’t understand a
word he said. Leading me to ask his children to translate his conversational points; with the general response being ‘eh he’d like another beer please’. All in all though, a decent fella.
I don’t really wanna talk much about Newcastle today so instead I’ll just assume that this morning Kev woke up a happy man. Most likely a hungover man as well, but a happy bloke nonetheless due to the return of Kevin Keegan. Personally, I think it’ll be a disaster, and there is a bit of a suspicion that beyond the leery fans BBC caught on camera last night welcoming ‘King Kev’ home, there’s still plenty of people in that area who think this is a ridiculous appointment. Good luck to them and thank god that story is at an end.
Elsewhere in the news today, we have the excellent story of Rocky Baptiste and Havant & Waterlooville heading for Anfield in the fourth round of the FA Cup. They might get hammered but at the very least, this story, along with Luton’s initial draw with the lumbering Liverpool, have made for a decent start to the competition.
Okay, once your side goes out (and sometimes while they’re still in the competition), FA Cup weekends are unbearable (though the odd bet tends to liven things up). Instead of watching decent Premier League action you’re faced with watching Coventry and you hear the word ‘romance’ related to 22 men and a soggy pitch far too often. Actually, yeah… come to think of it, I hate the FA Cup… so down with Havant! And down with Waterlooville too! The poor man’s Trinidad and Tobago.
Looking towards the weekend, thankfully there is no FA Cup in sight but instead a rerun of the fixtures from the first week of this season. United playing Reading away in what could be a tricky assignment; Arsenal are away at Fulham without the threat of Jens Lehmann throwing a few goals in David Healy’s direction; and most intriguingly Spurs face Sunderland.
The latter two produced a horrendously poor opener to the season, only lit up by Michael Chopra’s goal in the last minute – the goal which proved to be the beginning of the ugly, mishandled end of Martin Jol’s reign at Spurs. What’s that coming over the hill Roy? It’s a fucking pasting. I’m predicting a huge win for Spurs here; at least three nil. And after that outrageous prediction, here’s a few quick ones to follow up.
Birmingham v Chelsea: Hmmm…. After last week anything is possible, sod it I’ll go for a draw 2-2.
Blackburn v Middlesbrough: Blackburn back on track and Boro’s form usually dips after any decent result so 2-0.
Fulham v Arsenal: Continuing on this week’s theme of teams managed by guys called Roy losing… 1-3
Portsmouth v Derby: If Portsmouth don’t win this game, they may never score a home goal again. They will though, 2-0
Reading v Man. United: Solid 1-2 win, though that Reading one will be a late consolation. I state this as fact.
Tottenham v Sunderland: See above.
Newcastle v Bolton: The return of… ah forget it. 0-1, just to piss off romantics everywhere.
Wigan v Everton: 1-1 (bad, bad game)
Man. City v West Ham: 1-1 (might be better than last night’s bad, bad game)
Liverpool v Aston Villa: 1-1 (bad, bad times for Pool)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Podcast this evening folks where we’ll be discussing results, this weeks’ fixtures, Pub Talk featuring Cookie Coleman; Lusty Lita; and eh… Simple Souness. Then, oh yes at last, we’ll be hating Alan Shearer. In fact I think we should do a three week series…
Week 1: Hate Alan Shearer
Week 2: Hate Alan Shearer Harder
Week 3: Hate Alan Shearer with a Vengeance
I can see us finding a wide audience with that. Anyway, it’ll be online tomorrow morning so until then folks.
Later - JJ
I don’t really wanna talk much about Newcastle today so instead I’ll just assume that this morning Kev woke up a happy man. Most likely a hungover man as well, but a happy bloke nonetheless due to the return of Kevin Keegan. Personally, I think it’ll be a disaster, and there is a bit of a suspicion that beyond the leery fans BBC caught on camera last night welcoming ‘King Kev’ home, there’s still plenty of people in that area who think this is a ridiculous appointment. Good luck to them and thank god that story is at an end.
Elsewhere in the news today, we have the excellent story of Rocky Baptiste and Havant & Waterlooville heading for Anfield in the fourth round of the FA Cup. They might get hammered but at the very least, this story, along with Luton’s initial draw with the lumbering Liverpool, have made for a decent start to the competition.
Okay, once your side goes out (and sometimes while they’re still in the competition), FA Cup weekends are unbearable (though the odd bet tends to liven things up). Instead of watching decent Premier League action you’re faced with watching Coventry and you hear the word ‘romance’ related to 22 men and a soggy pitch far too often. Actually, yeah… come to think of it, I hate the FA Cup… so down with Havant! And down with Waterlooville too! The poor man’s Trinidad and Tobago.
Looking towards the weekend, thankfully there is no FA Cup in sight but instead a rerun of the fixtures from the first week of this season. United playing Reading away in what could be a tricky assignment; Arsenal are away at Fulham without the threat of Jens Lehmann throwing a few goals in David Healy’s direction; and most intriguingly Spurs face Sunderland.
The latter two produced a horrendously poor opener to the season, only lit up by Michael Chopra’s goal in the last minute – the goal which proved to be the beginning of the ugly, mishandled end of Martin Jol’s reign at Spurs. What’s that coming over the hill Roy? It’s a fucking pasting. I’m predicting a huge win for Spurs here; at least three nil. And after that outrageous prediction, here’s a few quick ones to follow up.
Birmingham v Chelsea: Hmmm…. After last week anything is possible, sod it I’ll go for a draw 2-2.
Blackburn v Middlesbrough: Blackburn back on track and Boro’s form usually dips after any decent result so 2-0.
Fulham v Arsenal: Continuing on this week’s theme of teams managed by guys called Roy losing… 1-3
Portsmouth v Derby: If Portsmouth don’t win this game, they may never score a home goal again. They will though, 2-0
Reading v Man. United: Solid 1-2 win, though that Reading one will be a late consolation. I state this as fact.
Tottenham v Sunderland: See above.
Newcastle v Bolton: The return of… ah forget it. 0-1, just to piss off romantics everywhere.
Wigan v Everton: 1-1 (bad, bad game)
Man. City v West Ham: 1-1 (might be better than last night’s bad, bad game)
Liverpool v Aston Villa: 1-1 (bad, bad times for Pool)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Podcast this evening folks where we’ll be discussing results, this weeks’ fixtures, Pub Talk featuring Cookie Coleman; Lusty Lita; and eh… Simple Souness. Then, oh yes at last, we’ll be hating Alan Shearer. In fact I think we should do a three week series…
Week 1: Hate Alan Shearer
Week 2: Hate Alan Shearer Harder
Week 3: Hate Alan Shearer with a Vengeance
I can see us finding a wide audience with that. Anyway, it’ll be online tomorrow morning so until then folks.
Later - JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
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Tis the season to be a punter
Tuesday, 18 December 07, 04:03 PM
There are few times in life when you can feel superior to professional footballers. Okay, intelligence-wise most of us can feel like three-time Mastermind champions when we compare ourselves to
doornails like Lee Bowyer or David Beckham. Morally too, some of us will claim sainthood when
compared to John Terry or any other of the spit roast brigade (should I hyphen ‘spit roast’?). But, here at Okeydokefootball we operate in a moral vacuum.
We may laugh at John Terry pissing in a cup at Shaun Wright Philips’ birthday party,
but deep down we know that overall, the night must’ve still been a quality affair; besides for Ian
Wright being there obviously.
As for intelligence, well for those of you who regularly listen to the podcast, you’ll be aware of the fact that week-in week-out we kill copious amounts of brain cells with cheap booze (so much so
I don’t even know if ‘spit roast’ should have a hyphen, a sad day for journalism). So anyway, back to my original point about times that can leave you feeling like you’re a little bit better off
than those well paid men of the Premier League and Christmas is one of those moments.
Four games over ten days, no Christmas dinner, not a bit of mulled wine, not a drop of decent stout, or even a nice nip of whiskey. While those of us in the great wide world are gorging on food,
booze, Scrooged and a ridiculous amount of sport, those across the water have to train and travel to wonderful places like Wigan, Middlesbrough and Birmingham to play mud-sodden games. Further down
the leagues people actually have to spend St Stephen’s Day in Scunthorpe or Luton. Scunthorpe… horrific, truly horrific.
At this time of the year, more than any other, we can feel like an audience at the Coliseum. Bring out the fools to fight for our meagre entertainment! Insert an evil laugh, chomp on a leg of turkey and you could practically feel like you’re watching Spartacus
play for Man United.
The TV schedule over the festive season sees Sky and Setanta showing possible hum-dingers like Arsenal v Spurs, Pool v Pompey, Man United v Everton, Arsenal v Everton, Villa v Spurs, City v
Blackburn, City v Pool, West Ham v Reading and Spanish football this weekend to boot. Not a grand slam Sunday in sight (thank god), but plenty of good games that mean you don’t have to talk to your
family that much and have an alternative to Only Fools and Horses repeats (we all love them but jaysus, every night during the festive season is a bit much).
It all kicks off tonight as well with Arsenal and Blackburn squaring up for what could prove to be an excellent League Cup quarter final. Arsenal’s youth versus a Mark Hughes side that have been
absolutely piss poor of late. City face Spurs too with Sven continuing his top four methods by dropping a raft of first-teamers.
Then tomorrow we have Xabi Alonso returning to the Liverpool first team down at Stamford Bridge, where the Scousers have never had much luck. I’ll go for Blackburn and Chelsea to go through and
Spurs to scrape it into the semi finals as well. Certainly worth a bet so I’m heading to the bookies in a while. Of course I’ll win nothing but that won’t stop me throwing away more cash in the
next two weeks. Rejoice and feel no sympathy for the players who entertain and infuriate us.
Oh and let’s not have that argument over whether or not there should be a Christmas break; or hear anyone bring it up as another reason why England are a horrible international side. The England
team already ruin international tournaments whenever they qualify, for god sake leave Christmas to us, the poor punter.
JJ
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball
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