Extra! Extra! World stops, sun explodes, Urawa Reds crowned Asian champions!

Well, it had to happen. Urawa Reds have been crowned Asian champions, and who could begrudge them? Yes they played boring, cynical football to reach the final, but in the end they were too strong for Iranian side Sepahan - who knocked Kawasaki Frontale out at the quarter-final stage.

I haven't had time (okay, I mean "the desire") to read the morning headlines but I can guess what they say. In fact, I thought I'd help out by writing my own report and seeing if I can't get it on the global news wires.

Urawa Reds crowned Asia's best, most likely to become America's Next Top Model

Urawa Reds have won the AFC Champions League after beating Iranian side Sepahan 2-0 in front of 59,034 fans at Saitama Stadium in the second leg of the final.

Yuichiro Nagai's clinical first half strike calmed the nerves of the more than 60,000 fans inside the stadium, and when Yuki Abe struck with twenty minutes remaining, the capacity crowd of 65,000 rose as one to celebrate the first ever victory by a Japanese team in the AFC Champions League.

Jubiliant Urawa fans claimed outside the ground that the Saitama club's win vindicated their belief that the Reds were the most important team in the history of football.

"I'm just so happy that my local team could prove to the world that we are the best!" screamed one fan.

"It took me four hours to travel up on the local train from Hamamatsu, but it was worth it!"

Another claimed that the size of the crowd proved that football was truly on the map in Japan.

"We are the only team in this city," said the fan.

"The fact that 70,000 fans turned out for this match just proves that there's a market for football in this country. I used to be a fan of the Yomiuri Giants, but now they're boring... and named after a newspaper!"

Urawa officials have confirmed that they now plan to build a stadium on the moon.

One official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, claimed that after winning the Club World Cup next month, the next step was domination of the galaxy.

"We had over 75,000 fans turn out for the home leg of the Champions League final," said the official."

"It's only natural that we use the moon as the base for our intergalactic missions."

Urawa could face Sepahan again at the FIFA Club World Cup, before going on to face European minnows AC Milan in the semi-finals of that competition.

"Playing Milan will be boring," said one fan on the trip back to his home town of Mito.

"I just can't wait to see Urawa win the Miss Universe competition next year."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, if that doesn't make it on to the wires, you can always read a much better report here.