Frode Johnsen taints good guy image by borrowing a trick from Pixy

I like Frode Johnsen. There, I said it! I've been an unashamed fan of the Norwegian striker ever since I first laid eyes on him in the J. League.

Maybe it's because as an Aussie I'm used to watching the kind of all-action, elbows-out, heart-on-your-sleeve (and whatever other cliché you can think of that describes a physical striker) footballer that Johnsen undoubtedly is. 

But if football is a game of opinions - and that too, it most certainly is - then it is my steadfast opinion that Frode Johnsen dived to win his Nagoya Grampus side a penalty that keeps the Aichi-based outfit in the title race.

And it wasn't just any kind of dive. It was one of those desperate, lunging, spectacularly cringe-worthy, I've-already-watched-Keiji-Tamada-tumble-ten-times-and-he's-gettin'-nothing type dives that would only fool an innocent Tibetan monk and your average J. League referee. The thought that Blind Freddy could have spotted this dive springs to mind, but then it appears that Blind Freddy was refereeing at Nishikyogoku Stadium when Johnsen took his theatrical tumble, although closer inspection reveals that the hapless official was actually Hajime Matsuo.

Johnsen's acting skills went as far as being able to haul himself off the ground without cackling hysterically (there wasn't even so much as a wry smile on his face!) and like all great football villains, the normally likeable Norwegian promptly stepped up to bury the resultant spot-kick a mere five minutes into seven minutes (naturally) worth of stoppage time.

If I were a Kyoto Sanga fan - and they were packed in like the proverbial sardines to a crowd of 18,355 at a heaving Nishikyogoku on Sunday - I'd be mightily annoyed with one Frode Johnsen. But then I'm not a Kyoto fan. Sorry kids... them's the breaks.

Closer analysis of my deep-seated affection for said Johnsen reveals that the ex-Norwegian international looks set to be playing his football at Nihondaira Stadium next season. Or should I say, "Outsourcing Stadium?" That's right, Shimizu S-Pulse have sold the naming rights to Nihondaira Stadium for a cool 360 million yen, with some of the proceeds likely to go towards luring Nagoya's out-of-contract Norwegian up the Tōkaidō Road to Shimizu. 

Johnsen is the logical replacement for former South Korean star Cho Jae-Jin, whose goals were outsourced (sorry folks, it can only go downhill from here) to Brazilian midget Marcos Aurélio at the start of this season... with disastrous results. Marcos Aurélio has now troubled the scorers on the grand total of zero occasions, while current Jeonbuk Hyundai Motors front man Jae-Jin is rumoured to be on his way to Gamba Osaka next season, paving the way for the triumphant arrival of Johnsen in Shimizu.

Since I've got no doubt that Johnsen himself is frantically refreshing this page on an hourly basis as he seeks the esteemed approval of your's truly, I'll say this, "Frode, I know you're capable of scoring more than 0 goals a season. Practically anyone is. Heck, even Masashi Nakayama got on the scoresheet again this season." 

But lest old Frode be unaware of just what Shimizu's passionate supporters expect of him, I'll leave him with a subtle reminder. Listed below is the score the last time time Nagoya came up against an S-Pulse side fielding the kind of striker who can put away the service that Daisuke Ichikawa and Arata Kodama are capable of producing.

Shimizu S-Pulse 3 - 0 Nagoya Grampus (October 6, 2007)

Cho Jae-Jin 28'

Cho Jae-Jin 49'

Cho Jae-Jin 77'

Over to you, Frode.