I read an interesting piece by Jesse Fink over at The Roar the other day about the A-League's current struggle to attract fans through the turnstiles. While I found myself nodding in agreement as usual with the Finkster, his suggestion that the A-League might scour the J. League for some talent got me thinking about just who from these shores would prove useful Down Under.

My first thought was Nagoya's out-of-contract, not-necessarily-wanting-to-return-to-Norway, goal-every-other-game former international Frode Johnsen. The big blonde bomber has not only been one of the most consistent goalscorers in Japanese football since his switch from ex-UEFA Champions League mainstays Rosenborg, he's also one of the nicest blokes going around. His salary might prove a stumbling block - something tells me that Toyota-backed Nagoya have a fair bit of bling to throw around - but he strikes me as the kind of bloke for whom a nice sea change by the beach with the wife and kids would not affect his strong work ethic and ability to find the net with monotonous regularity.

Then I turned my thoughts to Consadole Sapporo's hapless Brazilian Davi. The agile striker has been a joy to watch (for non-Sapporo fans, at least) as he struggles to rein in his combustible temperament in the midst of the total incompetence of his team-mates. The former Vitoria striker was one of the best in J2 last season, but the fact that he is now the top-flight's second-top scorer despite only playing twenty games speaks volumes for his quality - and the majority of his goals have been sights to behold, as well.

Davi is clearly the type of player that attracts fans through the gates - I know I was looking forward to seeing him when he came to Nihondaira Stadium last month - but then I remembered the rumours coming out of the Japanese press that several teams in the Gulf States are looking at luring some of the J. League's foreign stars to the Middle-East.

Australians already know about one of them. Emerson has been at the centre of a legal wrangle over his eligibility to play for Qatar in World Cup qualifiers for months, but before his reincarnation as a Qatari-goal getter, the Brazilian-born striker was a regular goalscorer for Urawa Reds. Emerson arguably set the trend for J. League players cashing in their yen and heading to the Middle-East, but Magno Alves upped the stakes when he walked out on Gamba Osaka to join Saudi side Al-Ittihad just days after the Osakans had lifted the League Cup in 2007.

The next Gamba striker to lob up at the Emirates Airlines express check-in desk was Baré, who booked himself a one-way flight to Dubai to link up with Al-Ahli. Gamba Osaka banked a cool six million euros for their end of the deal, but the simple fact is that the J. League is slowly but surely losing some of its best.

The departure of some of the J. League's Brazilian stars may ultimately help Japanese football. As it currently stands the Japanese national team has chronic problems in attack, with coach Takeshi Okada admitting that Japanese strikers in the J. League struggle in comparison to their Brazilian counterparts - many of whom spend half the time hogging the ball, and the other half berating their team-mates for not passing to them.

It's a hard stretch to see any Japanese players willing to sacrifice a generous salary, comfortable lifestyle and familiar culture to test their skills in the A-League, and suggestions that the J. League will "raid the A-League" for players next season seem wide of the mark given the extensive scouting network that most Japanese clubs employ in Brazil - not to mention the historical success of Koreans in the J. League.

A more realistic appraisal might be that the J. League becomes a kind of second-tier league - at least in terms of cash-flow - as it struggles to keep up with the oil-rich Emirates. Already the J. League is considered by many to be the most professional of Asian leagues, but a substantial injection of cash could gradually change things in the Gulf.

The J. League will always continue to attract skillful foreigners, but whether they are of the same calibre as players like Emerson and Baré remains to be seen. The departure of some of the limelight-grabbing Brazilians from Japanese football may ultimately be a good thing - at least for the Japanese national team - but with the A-League now a new player on the block and competing with Japan and the K-League for supplies of talent, the J. League will do well to keep an eye on the ball, lest the focus of Asian club football makes a seismic shift west.

"Which one of you bitches wants to dance?

Hey, you know when you're doing the usual sort of threesome thing you do of a weekend and, you know, the moonlight's bouncing of your heads and your arses and everything... does that not get a bit confusing?

Right, look, this is you, okay... tra la la la la la la la la la la la laaaaa la la!

Millwall, that's the one. Do you know this chant? Er, Millwall, Millwall you're really dreadful and all your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated."

*Whack*

So goes cantankerous bookshop owner Bernard Black's encounter with a trio of Millwall-supporting skinheads in the TV-comedy "Black Books," when Bernard is attempting to get out of doing his taxes by somehow injuring himself.

I have no idea if Millwall's reputation for thuggery is still deserved. Quite frankly I don't even know which division they're in. The last I heard of Millwall their fans were seemingly running amok in Budapest in a UEFA Cup tie against Ferencváros, but as that was a few seasons ago I have no idea whether things have calmed down since then.

One thing I know is that there is not that much to like about Kashiwa Reysol. Their hardcore supporters are a bunch of wannabe hooligans and their football team is not much better. So I was delighted when Shimizu S-Pulse beat Kashiwa Reysol 3-2 at a balmy Nihondaira Stadium last night.

It was a most un-Japanese of fixtures. It got off to an inauspicious start for your's truly, when I stumbled into the ground five minutes after kick-off. I'd like to think there was a more noble cause for my tardiness, but the truth is that I was scoffing down a ham-and-cheese sandwich on the lounge at home, warily eyeing the clock in the knowledge that as every minute passed there was an increasing likelihood that I was about to miss something important. It didn't help that I dropped into the convenience store to buy a couple of beers that I polished off en route.

By the time I arrived, S-Pulse were leading 1-0 thanks to Shinji Okazaki's goal. They made it two when Takuma Edamura stooped to head home at the far post just ten minutes in. Reysol pulled a goal back through Minoru Suganuma - who seemed to react by booting a water bottle into the stand behind the goal... didn't Eddy Bosnar get suspended for that just the other day? - before Kashiwa drew level before half-time from the spot. Now, I might not have had the best of views being about 90 metres away from the action, and it probably doesn't help that I hate Kashiwa Reysol, but from where I was standing it looked as though Reysol striker Franca simply slipped over in the steamy conditions, rather than being pulled down by Keisuke Iwashita. Whatever, the ex-Bayer Leverkusen striker coolly converted the spot-kick as the two teams were locked at 2-2 at the break.

For some reason that I didn't quite catch there was a fireworks display at half-time, and with the wind blowing down from the hills and across the ground, Nihondaira took on an eerie feel as smoke billowed across the pitch. It may or may not have contributed to Shinji Okazaki's second goal - he stuck out a foot to deflect a thunderous cross-come-shot passed Takanori Sugeno, and thereafter the match descended into a kick-fest, with the worst culprit Reysol substitute Alex. He was booting things left, right and centre... and none of them seemed to be the ball. It was hardly surprising when he earned himself a second yellow card for almost snapping off Keisuke Iwashita's leg, and despite the fact that Iwashita appeared to be suffering a near-death experience on the pitch, it didn't stop the mouthy Franca from accusing Iwashita of play-acting, as he tried to lift the prone S-Pulse defender back to his feet.

In the end the victory was wildly celebrated by S-Pulse fans, as it lifts Shimizu above local rivals Jubilo Iwata and into fourteenth place in the standings. It shut Reysol's travelling support up as well, and all the juvenile jibes about Shimizu's family-friendly atmosphere will have meant nothing for the Reysol fans on their long trip back to Chiba. A great night out for S-Pulse fans, then, although I must apologise to Millwall, who surely don't play the kind of anti-football on display from Kashiwa in this one.

The O-bon holidays have prompted an eerie atmosphere around the port city of Shimizu, with the streets deserted as people return to their places of birth to pay homage to the dead.

Outside the footpaths sizzle, with the occasional breeze doing little to cool the simmering summer temperatures, while those that have remained in the town no doubt spending their time in the comfort of air-conditioned indoors.

Ironic, then, that Shimizu S-Pulse will find themselves in a pressure-cooker of an atmosphere come Sunday evening, as they welcome Yokohama F. Marinos down the Pacific coastline to what will be a sold-out Nihondaira Stadium. Only a handful of tickets remain for this clash between 15th placed S-Pulse and their 16th placed port city rivals, in what is a make-or-break game for both teams.

Yokohama F. Marinos recently disposed of coach Takashi Kuwahara - who won championships with Jubilo Iwata, replacing him with novice Kokichi Kimura. To suggest that Kimura's tactics so far have been puzzling would be an understatement to say the least, with Kimura's first order of business to throw Brazilians Lopes and Roni out of his starting eleven (Roni has since joined Gamba Osaka), while pushing dynamic playmaker Koji Yamase into a striking role.

It seems that "positions" are an abstract concept for Kimura, who has happily played midfielders as defenders, defenders as midfielders and, just for good measure, both defenders and midfielders as attackers. The jury is still out on the new man in charge, who only managed to record his first win in the league last weekend. That came in a 2-1 win over Gamba Osaka, who Marinos had coincidentally beaten 2-1 in the second leg of their League Cup quarter-final just days beforehand, although Gamba managed to progress on the away goals rule.    

The Tricolore are in the embarrassing position of occupying the relegation/promotion playoff place, and while many will suggest that the Kanagawa giants are far too good a team to go down - many said the same thing about Sanfrecce Hiroshima last season. A win at Nihondaira, however, would see Marinos leapfrog none other than Shimizu S-Pulse in the standings.

All to play for, then, in what will be a ferocious clash watched by more than 20,000 fans in one of Japan's most pictureseque venues. Fans will no doubt hope for a cool ocean breeze to stir up from the Pacific come kick-off, but there's no doubt that the atmosphere inside Nihondaira will be red-hot, as teams from two of Japan's most important ports clash in this critical fixture. 

It was a lazy headline writer's dream overnight as the J. League continued its haemoraging of big-name Brazilian strikers, with Hulk leaving a club that most people in Europe have never heard of (Tokyo Verdy) to join a club that most people in Europe forget won the UEFA Champions League in 2004 (FC Porto).

Practically every single online news outlet across the globe greeted the signing with the news that Porto had signed "the incredible Hulk," although perhaps the most incredible thing about the bustling Brazilian was his penchant for spectacular tantrums.

After running the Urawa Reds defence ragged in Verdy's recent 3-2 loss to the Reds at Saitama Stadium, Hulk was incensed at his 73rd minute substitution by coach Tetsuji Hashiratani. Cue his usual outburst, which resulted in Hulk returning to Brazil - apparently to oversee the birth of his child, at least according to Tokyo Verdy.

Now the much-travelled striker has lobbed up at FC Porto, and the ex-European champions will do well to rein in the giant striker's combustible temperament. After joining Kawasaki Frontale in 2005, Hulk was loaned out to Second Division club Consadole Sapporo where he blasted home 25 goals in 38 league games. With Sapporo unable to meet Hulk's hefty wage demands the burly Brazilian then found himself at Tokyo Verdy, whom he fired back to the top flight with an even more impressive 37 goals in 42 games. Some 62 goals in two seasons in J2 was enough to prompt Kawasaki to recall Hulk for the 2008 season, but after playing just three games he was promptly sold to Tokyo Verdy, with Kawasaki officials claiming that Hulk had had a negative impact on the Frontale dressing room.

Now the 22-year-old will be hoping to make his mark on European football, but with Verdy having hardly missed the Brazilian in their most recent 2-1 win over Kashiwa Reysol - in which ex-Torino striker Masashi Oguro turned in an impressive performance alongside strike partner Kazuki Hiramoto, Hulk may need to buckle down as he seeks to have an impact in Portugal.

In 1992, Queen Elizabeth II memorably put what had been an horrendous year for the British royal family to rest in a speech in which she described the year as an annus horribilis. Ironically that was the same year that the J. League was formed.

In 2008, a mere one-third of the way through the season, the J. League is facing up to what could potentially be an unmitigated disaster - at least off the pitch, as the shameless shenighans and boorish buffoonery that has plagued rival leagues looks to have finally hit the land of the rising sun.

Of course, it would be remit to suggest that dumb behaviour has not plagued the J. League in the past. It's just that stupidity has generally been the exclusive domain of league officials and referees. But now even the players are getting in on the act! And boy, what an impact it's having. For a league that could hardly be described as "boring" in the past, the J. League has suddenly been enlivened by a spate of bad behaviour that has put Japanese football under the microscope.

If 2007 was an unforgettable year in the bonehead department; what with Naoya Kikuchi being arrested for having sex with a 15-year-old schoolgirl, Ilian Stoyanov calling his coach "an idiot" in front of the press and referee Kazuhisa Osada memorably sending off a bemused Yoshiaki Fujita for a bookable offence committed by his team-mate, 2008 has already thrown up plenty of early contenders for the Moron Of The Year award. And so, without further adieu, here are some of the candidates!

Masaaki Iemoto

Iemoto turned in what might be politely described as an "interesting refereeing performance" during the season-opening Super Cup. He sent off Kashima defender Daiki Iwamasa - possibly for the crime of breathing, no one is really sure, before deciding to even up the numbers by sending off Hiroshima's Ri Han-Jae for good measure.

Not content with simply brandishing unnecessary red cards, Iemoto then turned penalty-kick expert - ordering Tatsuhiko Kubo to have another go when he'd already converted a dubious looking spot-kick in normal time, before twice ordering Hiroshima to retake penalties in the shoot-out after they'd originally been saved. Not surprisingly Hiroshima eventually won the shoot-out, prompting a pitch invasion from angry Kashima fans. Iemoto was supposedly suspended for six months by the league for his baffling pedantry but, in a land where nothing surprises, he was back refereeing again last week.

Magnum

After joining Nagoya Grampus from Kawasaki Frontale, the disappointingly unmoustached Magnum started the season in a blaze of step-overs and general good form. Sadly that form didn't quite transfer over to his automobiling skills, and after running a stop sign in Aichi Prefecture, police discovered that Magnum does not have a licence to drive in Japan. Handed a three-match internal suspension by his club, Magnum watched from the sidelines this weekend as Kashima Antlers obliterated Nagoya Grampus 4-0 in front of a full house at Mizuho Stadium.

Hidekazu Omichi and Yuji Funayama

"Drink and drive, and you're a bloody idiot." Evidently that iconic Australian TV advertisement was lost in translation in Japan (much like those stupid "where the bloody hell are you?" tourist ads and, if you're reading, Australian Tourism Board, I'm right here), with Kashima reserve players Hidekazu Omichi and Yuji Funayama deciding to take a late night spin while under the influence of alcohol. Not a good look for the J. League, especially when the news made the papers in Europe.

Ryota Tsuzuki and Marcus Tulio Tanaka

Another joint applicant in the Moron Of The Year stakes, Ryota Tsuzuki and Marcus Tulio Tanaka set off a mini-riot at Saitama Stadium with their inability to comprehend the fact that Gamba Osaka players might actually be pleased to have beaten Urawa Reds in their own backyard.

After the match former Gamba player Ryota Tsuzuki set about trying to attack any ex-team mate that happened to stray within a twenty yard radius, while Tulio proved as irritating off the pitch as he is on it, acting as a kind of traffic marshall by ordering the Gamba players to celebrate on a specific blade of grass as personally determined by the great man himself.

His choice of forcing the Gamba players to celebrate in front of the away end was perhaps a tad hopeful, as the two sets of supporters then set about lobbing projectiles at each other in a spot of post-match mayhem that ultimately warranted 30 million yen worth of fines.

The J. League

Possibly concerned by the spotlight thrown on fan hooliganism following that incident in Saitama, the J. League then set about turning the spotlight firmly back on itself by taking a mere THREE WEEKS to hand down a punishment. And what were the sanctions? Stadium closure, player suspensions, docking of points? No. Urawa Reds - quite probably the richest club in Asia, were handed a 20 million yen fine, while Gamba Osaka were handed a 10 million yen fine.

Then there was the small issue of Kazuki Ganaha. The Kawasaki Frontale striker was handed a six-match suspension by the J. League last season after club doctors gave him an intravenous injection of garlic to try and cure a heavy cold. The J. League claimed that the injection contravened their anti-doping laws. They were no doubt horrified when Ganaha took them to the Court of Arbitration for Sport in Geneva. The CAS overturned the J. League's ruling and ordered them to help out with Ganaha's court costs. Still intent on claiming the final word, the J. League later issued a statement that claimed "according to the tone of the CAS decision, our original ruling was correct." For his unwitting part in the fiasco, the blameless Ganaha lost his place in the Japan team and this weekend scored his first league goal in over a year.

Takehito Shigehara

Where in the world is Takehito Shigehara? My guess is that the erstwhile Kashiwa Reysol midfielder is languishing somewhere in Camp X-Ray. Controversy and Shigehara seem to go well together - last season he was handed a seven match suspension for "spitting/swearing/smashing some seats" after receiving a baffling red card whilst playing for Ventforet Kofu, who were eventually relegated.

This year Shigehara has been running around for Kashiwa Reysol - or at least he was, until police decided to reopen an investigation into a break-and-enter in Kobe in 2001 that resulted in the theft of a woman's underwear. Since then our (alleged) panty-loving friend is nowhere to be seen, with Kashiwa deciding to "drop him like he's hot," as it were.

Opposition fans haven't quite yet taken to waving women's underwear at Reysol fans, but that's probably because they fear being beaten up by Kashiwa's notoriously feisty supporters.

Yuichi Nishimura

Not content with Mr Iemoto hogging all the spotlight, referee Yuichi Nishimura entered the tabloid newspaper hall-of-fame by telling respected player Taikai Uemoto "to die" in a match between FC Tokyo and Oita Trinita The J. League denied that Nishimura told Uemoto "to die;" the entire Oita Trinita team refutes that claim, and Nishimura focused the attention of the world's sporting media on the J. League for a good, solid week.

Shimizu S-Pulse scouts

Alright J. League, now it's personal! Not a single club in Japan has been immune to the "bad Brazilian" syndrome. This crippling affliction strikes when a club signs one - or even worse, a host of useless Brazilians who would struggle to get a kick in during a game down on Copacabana beach.

In Shimizu S-Pulse's case, their signings extend to the utterly useless Marcos Paulo Alves and Marcos Aurélio. Last weekend - that being Round 14, mind you, the two started together for the first time in the league this season. Neither man lasted the distance.

Not content with simply signing two useless Brazilians, Shimizu S-Pulse then decided they could do without the services of Fernandinho - their one useful Brazilian. The club explained that he had been loaned out to Kyoto Sanga because a tally of one league goal and no assists wasn't helping the team, particularly when the mouthy Fernandinho was prone to berate his terrified team mates at the drop of a hat. Well, Fernandinho has now doubled his goal-scoring tally for the season. Predictably, he scored against Shimizu S-Pulse in just his second game for Kyoto.

Whoever thought that replacing the 185cm tall Cho Jae-Jin with the 167cm tall Marcos Aurélio was a good idea might get somewhat of a shock should they ever decide to watch a football match, but then S-Pulse fans won't be surprised to hear that Marcos Aurélio was signed sight unseen. Hey, at least if he doesn't work out... we can always blame those pesky gaijin for our problems this season!

Phew, all that and we're only a third of the way through season! No doubt the J. League will throw up plenty more to rant about over the long, hot summer months. Yet while there has been plenty of eye-catching action on the pitch this season, so far 2008 has truly been an annus horribilis for a league that, perhaps more than anything else, craves uncritical and unobjective scrutiny off the pitch.

It's all gone pear-shaped for Avispa Fukuoka. Relegated from J1 at the end of 2006, the Kyushu side were expected to make a swift return to the top flight under the auspices of former Sydney FC coach Pierre Littbarski. The German World Cup winner knows the J. League well - he was a star at JEF United in the early nineties, before going on to coach the inaugural Yokohama FC in the lower reaches of the Japanese game.

Things have gone horribly wrong since the appointment of Littbarski, however. Fukuoka only went down after losing the promotion/relegation playoff on away goals to Vissel Kobe at the end of 2006, but despite signing experienced Australian international Alvin Ceccoli, the southern side could only finish seventh in their thirteen team league last season.

This season the J. League welcomed two new additions to J2 in the form of FC Gifu and Roasso Kumamoto - making a tough league even tougher to get out of. The result is that after fifteen rounds of action, Avispa Fukuoka are currently struggling in twelfth place in the fifteen team league.

Ever the innovator, at the start of the season Littbarski decided to do away with Fukuoka's Brazilian gaijin and replace them with players that he became acquainted with during his time as a coach in the fledgling A-League. It has been a "verkorksten" strategy. After scoring 26 goals in 45 games from midfield last season, Alex has gone on to become a key player at J1 side Kashiwa Reysol. Lincoln scored sixteen goals in 39 games for Fukuoka last season before he was shipped out to Shonan Bellmare, who are very much in the race for promotion to the top flight next season. That's a position that Avispa Fukuoka can only dream of.

In their places came Sydney FC duo Mark Rudan and Ufuk Talay to line up in defence and midfield respectively. Following the departure of Alvin Ceccoli, Australian international striker Joel Griffiths was signed on loan. Fukuoka also brought in the likes of Mike Havenaar from Yokohama F. Marinos and veteran Teruaki Kurobe from JEF United. They have all failed to impress.

Only former Kashiwa Reysol man Tetsuya Okubo has shown any kind of form, and he is the club's current top scorer with five goals in fifteen games. The rest of Fukuoka's high-profile signings have struggled. After spending most of Sydney FC's championship-winning season on the bench, Mark Rudan looks set to do the same at Fukuoka. He has struggled with knee injuries for most of the season, but his 92-kilogram frame has also made him an easy target for some of J2's more nimble-footed attackers.

Ufuk Talay's expansive passing game has been stifled by the quicker pace of Japanese football and his explosive temperament has at times riled some of J2's nit-picking referees - who must rank as some of the most pedantic in world football. Only Joel Griffiths has shown glimpses of his best form, but injuries, suspensions and international call-ups have limited his productivity to just three goals in nine games. 

After a succession of embarrassing defeats - including a humiliating derby day home defeat to J2 newcomers Roasso Kumamoto, Littbarski was given three matches to turn things around. He failed to do so. Yet the German has been spared the axe by an admission from club officials that they cannot afford to sack him! Indeed, so dire are Fukuoka's financial straits that J2 officials are nervously hoping that Fukuoka don't go under.

It's a world away from the top flight, and Fukuoka will need a miracle to get back there any time soon, given that they are already a massive twenty points behind league leaders Sanfrecce Hiroshima. Their struggles will also vindicate those who claimed that the tried-and-tested method of signing Brazilians to fill the three foreign squad places available was the only way to guarantee success. In a traditionally conservative country like Japan, the fortunes of Fukuoka's three Australians - not to mention Eddy Bosnar's JEF United, who are struggling in last place in J1, means that J. League teams are likely to think twice when it comes to signing Australians in the future.

That's the least of Avispa Fukuoka's current concerns. Unless they can generate some cash flow... let alone start to win some games, they could become the next Japanese team to crumble under the weight of financial strain. Far from walking in a Litti wonderland, Avispa Fukuoka seem to have found themselves in a nightmare of their own making.

JEF United have hired former Rangers star and Liverpool first team coach Alex Miller to take over as coach of the J. League's bottom club.

Presumably United have kept Miller more up-to-date than they did the departed Josip Kuze, who claimed that he was unaware United had sold their five best players before he took over as coach in January.

The Chiba side are already ten points adrift of safety even at this early stage of the season, and they need a drastic change of fortunes if they are to climb out of the J. League basement.

While the question remains as to just how much Miller knows about Japanese football - and why he would even give up a comfortable job with Liverpool to take over an outfit that look destined for the drop, a more pertinent question has been raised over at the always amusing Soilent Green. Just how responsible is the JEF United front office for the Chiba club's current plight? The answer appears to be 'very.'

Verdy fans more than most might question JEF United's hiring policy. Yet more than poor player recruitment, it has been some baffling off-field decisions that have seemingly crippled the 2005 and 2006 League Cup champions.

Tadashi Karai's reward for dragging the once-mightiest club in Japanese football into the depths of J2 in his role as General Manager, was to seal a move from Tokyo Verdy to a JEF United side that was once touted as genuine title challenger.

Yet United's most damaging move was surely installing the inexperienced Amar Osim as coach, following his father Ivica Osim's decision to take over as coach of Japan after the World Cup in 2006. When Osim Jr took United to within an inch of relegation last season, he was stoutly defended by the United back room staff - to the point that defender Ilian Stoyanov was sacked for speaking out against the hapless Bosnian. But after defending Osim Jr for months - and even seeing him keep the Chiba Dogs in the top flight by the skin of their teeth, United then chose to sack Osim Jr after the final game of the season... just two weeks after his father had suffered a life-threatening stroke.

Then came the bizarre post-match interviews after United's most recent 3-0 loss to Urawa Reds, with new coach Josip Kuze insisting that JEF United had pledged their full support to him. Kuze, at least according to his version of events, had even been lining up reinforcements for his struggling side. Yet less than 24 hours later the Croatian was shown the door.

It's a sorry state of affairs for a club that enjoys some of the more passionate support in the league. Unless Alex Miller can pull the proverbial rabbit out of his hat, he could be the next high-profile foreign coach to take the fall for the Chiba Dogs' bumbling bureaucrats behind the scenes.

Tokyo Verdy. Kawasaki Frontale. Gamba Osaka. Not the biggest names in Japanese football, but they've all beaten Nagoya Grampus in the past fortnight.

Dragan Stojkovic's unbeaten run was always bound to come to an end, but few would have expected it to end against Tokyo Verdy. The promoted side were awful over the opening rounds of the season, but their first victory coincided with Nagoya's first defeat, and it catapulted the Toyota-backed club to a run of three straight losses - including a narrow 2-1 defeat at home to Gamba Osaka in a marquee fixture watched by 34,436 fans at Toyota Stadium.

Nagoya bounced back with a1-0 win away at Ajinomoto Stadium in front of 30,825 fans on May 6, although they were fortunate to do so. FC Tokyo substitute Yusuke Kondo had the chance to open his account for the season from the penalty spot in the 81st minute. Going with the tried-and-tested method of closing his eyes and simply blasting his penalty into orbit, Kondo watched in horror as it smashed on to the top of the crossbar and presumably deflected into the streets of Chofu. It's like that for some players.

Nagoya's defender Milos Bajalica is another for whom absolutely nothing has gone right. He was signed by Stojkovic himself from Red Star Belgrade, to fill the decidedly large boots of departed Slovakian defender Marek Spilar. Current PSV Eindhoven coach Sef Vergoossen once labelled Spilar "the best defender in Japan." It's not a label that will be applied to Bajalica any time soon.

Bajalica's J. League career got off to a less than auspicious start when he gave away a converted penalty on the opening day against Kyoto Sanga. Things have gotten progressively worse. His personal nightmare reached a new peak when the shaky Serb encountered Gamba Osaka's monstrous striker Bare. The lumbering front man looked like Baryshnikov against a defender who seemed to be treading on quicksand, with Bare scoring twice - both goals coming because he'd managed to shake off the bewildered Bajalica.

Nagoya will be spared Bajalica's so-called defending for their upcoming fixture at home to Vissel Kobe - the Serb is suspended, but the temperament of the volatile Stojkovic could be tested to the limit by the antics of the forever niggling Kobe. It may have been legendary Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger that introduced the pitch side tirade to Japanese football, but the combustible Stojkovic is yet to lose his rag on the sidelines. He has, however, reputedly come toe-to-toe with Nagoya's high profile off-season signing Magnum, who was stunned by his 63rd minute substitution in the loss to Gamba Osaka. Watch this space.

Things could be worse. Nagoya could be JEF United, and Stojkovic could be packing his bags just like Josip Kuze is currently doing. He was handed his walking papers today, following an abysmal start to the season that has seen the Chiba Dogs pick up just two points from their opening eleven league fixtures! The writing was on the wall for the 2005 and 2006 League Cup champions when five of their best players left during the off-season, and while there's still a long way to go, it looks like it will take a miracle for JEF United to stay up. Still, stranger things could happen. Milos Bajalica could become a competent J. League defender. It's that's kind of league.

I read an interesting piece from that redoubtable authority on South American football Tim Vickery the other day, suggesting that derbies are an over-rated aspect of the modern game. While it's difficult to disagree with his assessment that derbies are all blood-and-guts football with very little culture in between, there's no doubt that local rivalries continue to stir the passion of football fans the world over.

That's something that the J. League understands, and in what must rank as part of a policy of instituting just the one good idea per season, the league schedules a number of crackerjack local derbies during 'Golden Week' - when a string of public holidays gives the average worker a much-needed few days off.

Football fans use the opportunity to pack J. League grounds across the country and so, exactly a year to the day since they last met at the picturesque Nihondaira Stadium, the next installment of the fabled Shizuoka derby gets set to rock the port city of Shimizu on May 3.

Last season Jubilo midfielder Fabricio's badge-kissing antics in front of the S-Pulse fans produced a positively nuclear atmosphere, and while Fabricio is long gone, so too is Cho Jae-Jin; Shimizu's hero from their two derbies last season, with the Korean wracking up all three of his side's goals against their bitter prefectural rivals.

In his classic book on Japanese football "Ultra Nippon: How Japan Reinvented Football" (which somewhat bizarrely depicts a Jubilo fan on the cover, despite the fact that it's an account of S-Pulse's 1999 season), Johnathon Birchall paints a vivid account of Shimizu's excruciating loss to Jubilo in the 1999 championship playoff.

Having won the first stage of the 1999 season, Jubilo saw their Shizuoka rivals storm back to be crowned second stage champions. A two-legged playoff ensued, and after both teams played out 2-1 draws away from home, the 1999 J. League title came down to a penalty shoot-out. Jubilo won the shoot-out at Nihondaira, and that's something that the Shimizu faithful have never forgotten, adding extra spice to an already heated affair.

These days the J. League has reverted to a single stage season, and after several years of playing the derby exclusively at Ecopa Stadium - a 2002 FIFA World Cup venue, Shimizu now schedule their home leg for Nihondaira Stadium. That makes perfect sense to S-Pulse fans, since the town of Aino lies some seventy kilometres down the Tokaido line from Shimizu. Rather conveniently for Jubilo fans it's just a short hop from Iwata, and while Jubilo still play their home fixture at Ecopa, gone are the days when they can command fifty percent of the support in both derbies.

As such Jubilo will be up against it when they travel to a seething Nihondaira Stadium, and to complicate matters these two teams have also been drawn together in this season's League Cup group stage. They'll meet again in the Nihondaira foothills on May 25, and both teams will be looking to get the upper hand this weekend, as Shimizu braces itself for another edition of the Shizuoka Clásico.