180 minutes, no goals.

It's been a spluttering start to the new season for Shimizu S-Pulse, and the long-ball football on display as the Shizuoka side ground to a second successive scoreless draw at home to Yokohama F. Marinos didn't exactly impress the home fans.

A crowd of 19,172 turned out at the newly renamed "Outsourcing Stadium Nihondaira," but many of them left disgruntled following a display in which S-Pulse spent much of the game on the back foot.

Stand-in keeper Yohei Nishibe pulled off a string of first half saves, the most impressive of which saw him claw a thunderous drive from Marinos playmaker Koji Yamase out of the top corner. 

It wasn't until the second half introduction of Brazilian midfielder Marcos Paulo that S-Pulse started to push forward, but the team's penchant for knocking long balls toward lanky new striker Frode Johnsen failed to pay off, as the Norwegian spent a frustrating afternoon failing to connect with strike partner Shinji Okazaki.

Okazaki and captain Akihiro Hyodo looked the most dangerous players on display for the hosts, but it was talisman Jungo Fujimoto - who made his long-awaited return as a substitute having recovered from a broken leg - who almost snatched a late winner. He saw his dinked effort cleared off the line with less than three minutes remaining.

Marinos, for their part, were far more resolute than the team that conceded four goals in going down 4-2 to newly promoted Sanfrecce Hiroshima at home last weekend. 

Nevertheless the Tricolore looked bereft of a goal-scorer, with youngster Kazuma Watanabe toiling tirelessly without ever really looking likely to hit the back of the net.

All in all a disappointing start for both teams, and with the popular Frode Johnsen no doubt desperate to open his account for the new campaign, he will hope to do so when he takes on the club he left in January as S-Pulse travel to Mizuho Stadium to take on Nagoya Grampus next Sunday afternoon. 

It's a topic lifted straight from JapaneseSoccer.net but Yokohama F. Marinos defender is reputedly set to wear the name "Bomber" on his 2009 jersey.

What next? Team mascots to start in goal? A points deduction every time Marcus Tulio Tanaka complains? Competent J. League referees?

Isn't the whole point of putting names on a player's jersey so that you can identify the player in question?

The J. League may as well start publishing something akin to a phone book along with their annual Season Guide if fans are expected to identify players by their pointless nicknames.

If we're now naming players according to their looks, how soon until we see FC Tokyo midfielder Naotake Hanyu run out with the name "E.T." printed on his shirt? It'd save the replica shirt manufacturers some costs on lettering. 

How about we start calling Gamba Osaka striker Lucas Severino, "Lionel" - since he bears an uncanny resemblence to African-American soul singer Lionel Richie?

Why stop at player appearances? Let's call a spade a spade here, and get "Diver" printed on the back of Kisho Yano's jersey.

And I'd like to see an ice-cream printed on the back of Shimizu's number 10 jersey to represent Shimizu S-Pulse's midfield maestro Jungo Fujimoto, since he appears to be a reincarnation of Streets ice-cream mascot, "the Paddle Pop lion."

When will this madness end?

I'm all for innovative ways to draw fans through the gate, but not all of us J. League fans are the ditzy, sock-puppet waving young females that the marketing men seem to assume.

So Yuji Nakazawa will henceforth be known as "Bomber" on the pitch?

I hope they design a jersey with the name "Idiot" printed on the back for whomever came up with that bright idea.

The O-bon holidays have prompted an eerie atmosphere around the port city of Shimizu, with the streets deserted as people return to their places of birth to pay homage to the dead.

Outside the footpaths sizzle, with the occasional breeze doing little to cool the simmering summer temperatures, while those that have remained in the town no doubt spending their time in the comfort of air-conditioned indoors.

Ironic, then, that Shimizu S-Pulse will find themselves in a pressure-cooker of an atmosphere come Sunday evening, as they welcome Yokohama F. Marinos down the Pacific coastline to what will be a sold-out Nihondaira Stadium. Only a handful of tickets remain for this clash between 15th placed S-Pulse and their 16th placed port city rivals, in what is a make-or-break game for both teams.

Yokohama F. Marinos recently disposed of coach Takashi Kuwahara - who won championships with Jubilo Iwata, replacing him with novice Kokichi Kimura. To suggest that Kimura's tactics so far have been puzzling would be an understatement to say the least, with Kimura's first order of business to throw Brazilians Lopes and Roni out of his starting eleven (Roni has since joined Gamba Osaka), while pushing dynamic playmaker Koji Yamase into a striking role.

It seems that "positions" are an abstract concept for Kimura, who has happily played midfielders as defenders, defenders as midfielders and, just for good measure, both defenders and midfielders as attackers. The jury is still out on the new man in charge, who only managed to record his first win in the league last weekend. That came in a 2-1 win over Gamba Osaka, who Marinos had coincidentally beaten 2-1 in the second leg of their League Cup quarter-final just days beforehand, although Gamba managed to progress on the away goals rule.    

The Tricolore are in the embarrassing position of occupying the relegation/promotion playoff place, and while many will suggest that the Kanagawa giants are far too good a team to go down - many said the same thing about Sanfrecce Hiroshima last season. A win at Nihondaira, however, would see Marinos leapfrog none other than Shimizu S-Pulse in the standings.

All to play for, then, in what will be a ferocious clash watched by more than 20,000 fans in one of Japan's most pictureseque venues. Fans will no doubt hope for a cool ocean breeze to stir up from the Pacific come kick-off, but there's no doubt that the atmosphere inside Nihondaira will be red-hot, as teams from two of Japan's most important ports clash in this critical fixture.